Sunday, July 25th from Buffalo, New York
I don’t want to ruin the fun or anything, but last year’s Fully Loaded fully blew. The main event was a lame assed tag team between tag team champs Austin & Taker verses the deadly duo themselves; Kane & Mankind. Guess who won. Kane and Mankind. The other big match was the boring as shit Rock/Tripe H brawl. But that was last year, so maybe things will change, especially when you factor the fact in that now every ppv is big, not just the big 5. In my mind the main event is always fucking awesome, and the rest of the ppv blows, but Sunday Night Heat rocks. So watch Heat then wait until 10:00 pm. This years main event is a doozy, with a massive stipulation. But, the title isn’t going to change hands this much is it? Most expect the rumored HHH vs. Austin matchup at Summerslam, with HHH winning. Jesse “The Body” Ventura is reffing so you gotta expect Austin to chug beers with him, right? Enough of my blathering, I’ve got 10 whole matches to predict here, and there are enough WWF rumors circulating about this ppv already, but none of the main event. Here goes:
AL SNOW vs. BIG BOSSMAN: What a lame matchup. Al Snow is sort of interesting, because he at least does hardcore outside of the ring action, but Bossman is truly the laughing stock of the wrestling community. Since Hardcore Holly has officially left the hardcore division to have a feud with Kane, it seems that the WWF Hardcore division consists of…Al Snow…who happens to be champ. At least WCW has more than one wrestler in the hardcore division. Expect this match to suck and blow. Snow should retain the coveted belt though, why Bossman would win is beyond me.
D’LO BROWN vs. MIDEON: I hope this match occurs on Heat, because I really can’t sit through this thing. Mideon is a fat fuck who can’t do anything cool beside crawl on the ring apron, and D’Lo is sort of funny when he walks to the ring, but wrestle eachother? Lame-O 9 million. This match is for the European Title which was put to rest after Wrestlemania but brought back so it could be showcased around young wrestler’s waists and primarily used on this fall’s new UPN show, Smackdown. Mideon has the belt now and rumors say D’Lo is getting it, don’t expect anything less.
JEFF JARRETT vs. EDGE: The biggest rumors on the ‘net are that Edge will not only defeat JJ for the Intercontinental Belt, but also take Deborah away from him. I don’t know about the chick part, but he should take the belt away, seeing that JJ is boring as shit and at least Edge hasn’t had it before. This match should be truly epicially lame. Man this ppv card really sucks so far, eh?
TEST vs. JOEY ABBS: I’m guessing this match will be showcased on Sunday Night Heat because on wwf.com it wasn’t on the ppv card. Maybe they realized the suck value of it. Really though, it could turn out to be funny if the rest of the Greenwhich Possee shows up and has a brawl, then Stephanie and Shane could show up, turn the match into an entertaining one. It’s a tossup as to who will win, but Test should get the win since lately he’s had his ass handed to him on a silver platter by those dudes. Just please…don’t wrestle too long.
TRIPLE H vs. THE ROCK: Whoever wins gets to be the main eventer at Summerslam. I won’t deny the HHH/Austin rumors, so let’s go with the Hunter Hearst Helmsley dude. This match will be okay, since The Rock entertains somewhat, and Chyna’s outside interference could help entertain. These wrestlers, in my mind, have wrestled way too much. Last summer they had a big feud. I think the bookers are watching last summer’s storylines too closely. Undertaker/Austin was a big draw at Summerslam’98, why not do it again at Fully Loaded? And the last first blood match was at last summer’s King of the Ring. Jesus…what else happened last summer…
THE BIG SHOW vs. KANE: Hardcore Holly is the special referee. This could be the second best match of the night. Why? Big Show cracks me up, and Hardcore is the best WWF wrestler. He's great. Kane is cool, too, at least his opening is. Expect a slow match but with a special ref it should be wild. Either man could win, but I’ll pick the big man because he’s got to start looking good if he’s gonna feud with Austin in the future…rumored to be at Wrestlemania 2000 at The Pond in Anaheim, California.
KEN SHAMROCK vs. STEVE BLACKMAN: On wwf.com they stated this match as being an Iron Circle Match. I’m guessing it’s a Lion’s Den Match, but wouldn’t they have said that? At first it was a Special Weapons Match. Who cares, right? Both competitors suck, Blackman was a nobody until Vince decided to use him at KOTR. I hope it’s a special weapons match or a lion’s den, then it’ll have something special at least instead of a boring wrasslin’ matchup.
THE HARDY BOYZ vs. THE ACOLYTES: Rumors are circulating that The Acolytes will win when Michael Hayes fucks up or turns bad. No way. The Hardy Boyz just won the belts, no way are they going to switch this early. This match will be okay, because the Boyz at least try.
X-PAC & THE ROAD DOGG vs. MR. ASS & CHYNA: Whoever wins this tag team matchup gets the ‘rights to DX’. Whatever that means. This match will either turn out to be high flying excitement or lame assed same old. I’m guessing on the latter. WWF is really getting lame fast, which is sad because they were truly riding a high flying wave. With Ventura reffing SS, though, expect a bigger ppv next month. I’m guessing that the good guys win, because the bad DX members have been winning everything lately.
‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN vs. THE UNDERTAKER: Definitely the best match of the night, only because of the massive stipulations involved. The Undertaker really bores me as a wrestler, and even though Austin only uses a clothesline and stunner, he at least has a high energy attitude in the ring. This should be the best match of the night, because in wwf country the put everything possible into the main event and the rest of the ppv sucks ass. This is a First Blood Match, whoever bleeds first loses. Austin has the title on the line, but there is more on the line than a cut or a title. If Austin wins he retains the belt and Vince McMahon can never be on WWF TV again. If The Undertaker wins he becomes the WWF Champion, and Austin can never have the WWF Championship Title again. Pretty hefty there, but expect both stipulations to go out the window when the refs go down and both men are bloody messes. Expect both McMahons to come to the ring, expect a brawl, expect more than one stunner, but Austin should retain the belt nontheless.
It’s Wednesday, July 28th, 1999. Why the lame-assed date? I don’t know…Deep Blue Sea starts today…looks decent but will definitely be lame. Speaking of LAME, did you see the WWF’s 1999 Fully Lame ppv? That’s right, it has officially been re-named to Fully Lame instead of Fully Loaded. Why? Cuz it was just that…lame. The First Blood match was a disappointment, even though after the match it got kind’ve good. Every other match really blew, except for the hardcore match which was interesting because they went outside and stuff. WWF, in my mind, is getting old fast. The do recycle too many of their old storylines. HHH as champ will just put the WWF into a gutter that WCW knows too well. Give Kane the belt, that would be fantastic. Anyone but HHH. Why am I talking like Triple H already has the belt? Because he signed a contract which gives him a title reign. Wether or not he gets the belt at Summerslam is meaningless- he’s getting the belt this Fall either way. My guess is he’ll win it at the September PPV re-match. Anywhore, here are my gripes, bitches, and moans on July’s WWF ppv. Could I predict every match right? Doubtful, but read ahead to find out. Winners underlined, checks to my correct predictions:
EDGE vs. JJ: I am not an idiot but I do listen to ‘net rumors, and they said Edge was winning the Intercontinental Belt and taking Deborah away from Jeff Jarrett. To my surprise, Edge had won the IC belt from JJ the night before at a Skydome houseshow. So of course Edge wouldn’t be winning the belt if they had a rematch scheduled THE NEXT NIGHT. So I picked Edge before I knew all this and kept my word but I’m a moron. This match really blew, WWF truly sucked ass on Sunday. *1/2
THE ACOLYTES vs. THE HARDY BOYZ & MICHAEL HAYES: The other big rumor of Fully Lame was that Michael Hayes would cost the Boyz the tag team belts. I didn’t buy it because the Boyz just won the belts and The Acolytes just had it. What a moron, the only true rumor of the whole night. An okay match, the Boyz do some high flying Luchadore shit, but otherwise same old boring WWF. The World Wrestling Federation is only good on Raw or WarZone when they do interviews and funny backstage antics. Wrestling they don’t do well…let ECW do that. **
+MIDEON vs. D’LO BROWN: Okay, this wasn’t really a rumor, just what everyone and their mother expected: D’Lo to win the European Belt from Mideon. This match belonged on fucking Shotgun. WWF is slowly sinking into a deep funk. I truly doubt Jesse Ventura can lift it out…because look at the match he’s reffing…HHH vs. Austin? Both guys have no moves, and HHH just plain bores you to death. ½*
BIG BOSSMAN vs. AL SNOW: Not as good as The First Blood match, but definitely the only other watchable match. I can’t believe people pay $30 bucks for pay per views. Maybe a Wrestlemania, but Fully Lame? I don’t think I would pay $10 for a ppv. I seriously can’t believe anyone ever buys any WCW pay per views, even if they’ve got thirty people paying cash for it. Pay per views have never, ever been better than the Monday Night shows. Never. This match was sort’ve funny because it was a hardcore match and they went outside. Bossman wins, he’s the Hardcore Champ. And I thought WCW crowning Fit Finlay the Hardcore champ was idiotic. **1/2
+THE BIG SHOW vs. KANE: Hardcore Holly was reffing this match. Why? So he could help Giant get the win. I like Kane, he’s one of my favorites, but Giant fucking blows. This match was the most boring thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life ever seriously it put me faster asleep than that boring as nigger shit The Negotiator. Hardcore Holly didn’t even do anything funny. Okay, Undertaker came out, but he sucks more than anyone in the WWF…okay Edge is pretty lame. *
+KEN SHAMROCK vs. STEVE BLACKMAN: I had mentioned earlier that WWF recycles all of their storylines. Well not only that, but they copy from WCW every chance they get: The Ric Flair presidency storline (3:16 CEO), the N.W.O. (Corporate Ministry). WCW’s Bash at the Beach had a hardcore junkyard match where they all fought around a circle of cars. This Shamrock/Blackman match was titled, ‘Iron Circle’ match, and they fought in a circle of cars. Not as big as BATB’s match, but an obvious rip-off. Okay match, but the copy factor takes off a lot of the excitement. **
+ROAD DOGG & X-PAC vs. CHYNA & MR. ASS: Why does Mr. Ass have two names? He’s known as The Bad Ass Billy Gunn, and Mr. Ass. Stupid. I hate DX. (side note: these reviews bite because I’m not really into it because it’s about ninety-six degrees in this fucking house and I have to work at Slaveco Grocery tonight) I checked out Woodstock, what a fantastic show. Okay, this match really blew. I hate DX, I’ve always hated DX, every member in DX sucks, has always sucked, always will suck. It was probably the worst idea every created that fans loved. This match was for the rights to DX. What a horrible stipulation, but if you think that’s a bad stipulation, wait until the next match. The good guys obviously win…please, WWF, let DX truly disappear for a long, long, long while. Becase, as they say, DX: suck it. *1/2
+HHH vs. THE ROCK: I used to love The Rock. His Mankind feud over the winter was a truly memorable one. Then he fought Austin and it was sort of exciting. He fought ‘Taker at KOTR and bored the shit out of me. He’s hilarious in his interviews and his two moves are great, but his matches as of late have really sucked. Hopefully his Mankind feud will continue, because it’s really the only thing he’s ever had fun with. This match goes down in history as having the worst stipulation ever created. I’m sure they have used it before- like in the fucking 80’s or some shit. (Side note: I read on the ‘net that Bob Backlund had the WWF Title for 7 years in the 70’s. That must’ve been boring. These days no one keeps the title for more than one ppv it seems). The STRAP stipulation had HHH and the Rock have a leather ten foot strap tied around their wrists. At least the Dog Collar stipulation is more exciting because it’s around their neck. This match was bad, too, so maybe that’s why I hated the stipulation. I hope Rocky gets some new feuds soon and starts to be funny again in the squared circle. Kane would be a great opponent. I love that is-he-human bastard. I hope they have a stipulation coming up where Kane has to take off his mask if he loses, then he’ll lose and have all this gnarled makeup on. That would be wicked. *
+THE UNDERTAKER vs. ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN: I was so bored watching Fully Lame that I tried to figure out the last time that Austin was not in the main event of a pay per view. Survivor Series 1998 had Rock/Mankind main event. Expect that streak to grow and grow, unless Austin injures himself. WWF has their head up their ass in basing most everything around Austin. If he’s injured and has to leave for a month or two WWF is fucking done. They’ve barely gone two Raw weeks without him. I’d love to see Mankind or The Rock or Kane in a main event without Austin. Okay, enough of this stupid meaningless bullshit. What do we want? Blood! When do we want it? Now! I love First Blood matches. They are the third best stipulation, only behind Barbed Wire matches and Ladder matches. I like Ladder matches the best because how many fucking Barbed Wire matches are there? I’ve seen one (Sabu/Terry Funk). First Blood is great because since they’re using fake blood packets, anything can go wrong anytime. I think they had this one under control, though, being that the outcome was massive. Either Vince goes or Austin as Champ goes. Some loser on the ‘net mentioned that Austin was supposed to lose. I don’t buy it, Undertaker’s blood was almost as fake as Austin’s obvious forehead blood pack. It was so fake it was a perfect maroon rectangle easily obscured underneath his bandage. The actual wrestling of this match was beyond bad, but once the match was finished it got really funny. Austin hit Shane with a chair, Austin attempted to shake Vince’s hand, then stunned him twice. Then he bled like a stuck pig as X-Pac and HHH showed up. Austin bleeding like there wasn’t a tomorrow as he held the belt high was a memorable sight. Too bad the ppv itself was not. **1/2 only because of what happened after the match.
Fully Lame is over. Was it good? If you read any of my match thoughts above you’d know that it was a bad ppv, definitely the worst WWF ppv I’ve seen. I’d have to give it *1/2 stars out of ****. Technically it received a 12.4, which is higher than WCW’s GAB which had a low 11.2 which hopefully will forever be the lowest, I’d hate to sit through anything worse. Fully Loaded didn’t exactly have much going for it anyway. I guess the fact that every ppv is going to be a big one as opposed to the big 5 was a fat lie for everyone to order them each month. I predicted a marginal 6 out of 9, which is a 66.6, a solid D. Summerslam is next month and a week earlier, so there’s one less Raw to pump up the HHH/Austin/ref Ventura matchup. I don’t expect much from that matchup. HHH is one of the worst wrestlers going today. Hopefully they’ll pull some good tricks out of a hat for Ventura. Expect Ventura and Austin to chug beers proudly to end the night. The othe rumored match is a Big Show/Kane/’Taker gates of Hell match, which is a stipulation that sounds cool but what exactly is it? Who knows…rumors also say ‘Taker may take some time off to get his leg fixed, and that Jericho won’t show up until probably Semptember…which makes Summerslam to be pretty lame. Who will The Rock face? Hopefully a great opponet. The next pay per view for me is the Black Hills of South Dakota epic, Road Wild, the Sturgis based event, which is Saturday, August the 14th. The main event has Nash facing Hogan, but the real interesting match is Dennis Rodman verse Macho Man. I heard Ted Turner was going to be there. Sounds like a lot of fun. I’ll have my predictions in around 15 days. Until then.
Sunday, July 25, 1999
Sunday, July 11, 1999
WCW’s BASH AT THE BEACH
Sunday, July 11th, 1999 from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
I was busy in Myrtle Beach with the exclusive famly reunion so I couldn’t write the predictions. Did I have fun? Yes, though I wish I had had a bed and a private restroom. I love the ocean though so that aspect was cool, so was golf with little mike and the pteradactyl, whoa! So, Bash at the Beach is over, and on Nitro we learned that once again Hollywood Hogan is the WCW World Heavyweight Champ. Big deal. Give it to someone who hasn’t had it! The last fucking time Macho Man had it the next night he lost it to Hogan. Talk about a walking talking curse. Bash was okay, nothing special, basic WCW ppv. It was better than GAB but worse than Slamboree. The best thing about this years Bash? The Hardcore Junkyard Invitational. You heard me right, and even though in the match no great wreslting moves or hardcore shit happened, it was a sight to see. WWF eat your heart out. Checked are the matches I predicted correctly, underlined are the true winners.
+DISCO INFERNO vs. THE CAT: Even though this match was pretty lame, the stipulation was pretty funny. Whomever loses can’t dance ever again. The Cat won with the help of his red shoe. The Cat is one of the best WCW personalities, I won’t say wrestler, just personality, give him the mike and he makes Chris Jericho look like Sonny Burns (obscure reference; don’t worry you’re not missing anything, trust me). This match was same old, though, but just because The Cat entertains I’ll slap it with a healthy ** rating.
+RICK ‘DOG’ STEINER vs. VAN HAMMER: I bet Stu had a good time laughing. My picks at WW3 three years ago were Dog, Kevin Sullivan, and Macho Man. Dog is the TV champ and Macho the heavyweight champ (Sunday night anyway). Looks like I picked wisely? Where the hell is Sullivan??? Okay, enough ranting. This match was pretty entertaining…surprisingly. Dog ddt’d Hammer on the outside concrete floor after he removed the mat. It looked like it hurt, actually, the whole match looked like both combatants really hated eachother. The best part of the match was the high energy. Short and sweet. Just tell me this: why is this match on a ppv? **1/2
+DEAN MALENKO vs. DAVID FLAIR: Man I’m betting 3 for 3. Not like these matches so far were hard to pick or anything. This match pitted U.S. Champ Davey Flair versus the man of one-thousand positions, I mean holds, the Iceman, Stinko Malenko. I hate both wrestlers. Flair’s camp at least entertains with Asya, Arn, Ric, and the hot assed Torrie. Lame match, though you can’t put down Flair’s camp, what a great bunch. **
+THE WEST TEXAS REDNECKS vs. THE NO LIMIT SOLDIERS: Don’t give me any shit for this matchup. I picked Swoll to win, because whoever gets the pin gets the win, right? It’s a 4 on 4 matchup, but you have to pin each member of the other team. It went down to the wire; Curt Henig verse Rey Mysterio Jr. and my boy, Swoll. Mysterio pinned Henig, but Swoll was categorized as being the co-winner, meaning I fucking have 4 for 4 under my belt you asshole!!! This was a very hard to pick match, though Mysterio, Konnan, and Henig were the obvious favorites. I picked Swoll because he signed a contract for a year or something, they’d better put him in the spotlight! This match was okay, but definitely high energy, until the end because it went on too long and everyone was tired as shit. **
THE HARDCORE JUNKYARD INVITATIONAL (FIT FINLEY): I picked Hak. That was probably the best pick of the bunch. There were around twenty guys beating the shit out of eachother. Who knew that asshole Fit Finley would win? Fire that a-hole, WCW, he fucking blows. Remember last year they acutally gave that prick the TV Title. Every Nitro he’d show up and bore us to death. Give the TV Title to someone with TV personality like…THE CAT! Dogg is okay I s’pose. This match took place (supposedly) 50 miles outside of Ft. Lauderdale in some junkyard. They had a ring of cars in a circle and a few barrels of fire. Oh yeah, and a hellicopter was helping to film. Some of the wrestlers involved were Brian Knobbs, Hugh Morris, The Public Enemy, Mikey Whipwreck, Steven Regal, and a couple of luchadores. This match was insane, crazy, hilarious, wild. No wrestler did any cool move beside hit people with car bumpers, but just the madness made you glued to your chair entertained as all hell and cracking up like a Nebraska dridiot. What a ppv worthy matchup! The internet speculated that it cost around $100,000 to make this matchup happen. Let me tell you it was worth it. Fit Finley got the win after this happened to him: Hak put him in the trunk of a car. Someone in a forklift started pushing the car towards the crusher. Finley jumped out at the last second as the car went into the crusher and blew up as it was smashed. Finley pushed over a barrel filled with fire which caught fire onto a car which exploded. Finley hopped the fence for the Hardcore Trophy. Holy shit I guess you had to so-called “see it to believe it”. ***
+THE TRIAD vs. SATURN & CHRIS BENOIT: I like the Triad (Kanyon, DDP, Bam Bam), but this Saturn/Benoit team just doesn’t work out. Hopefully Harlem Heat will be back because they’re actually a real tag team, and maybe Scotty Steiner will recover from his back injury to see a Steiner Brothers return. Right now the tag team scene is brutal. It’s more or less…The Triad. WCW and the WWF are guilty of putting two singles partners up as tag teams for a limited time stint. It sucks. I want to see a tag team like the Dudley Boys who stick with it for years. This match was excellent, highly energetic, fun, a great ppv match, but I just wish I could see more tag teams in this division, otherwise, what’s the point (remember when Giant and Lex Luger had the belts and one was good, the other bad? What a disaster) ***
+BUFF BAGWELL vs. ‘ROWDY’ RODDY PIPER: This was a boxing match with ten 3-minute rounds reffed by the legendary Mills Lane. This match was entertaining and humorous but truly WCW-calibur lame. The boxing gloves weren’t even real, these fake looking gigantic couldn’t hurt a fly gloves. The match wasn’t even real, obviously fake. Buff’s mom showed up as his Corner Person. Buff got the win after giving Piper the blockbuster from the top rope. What??? Don’t ask. **
SID & THE MAHCO MAN RANDY SAVAGE vs. KEVIN NASH & STING: You may be asking yourself, how could one man get the win if this is a tag team matchup? All that I know is that how could I be so fucking blind? I chose Nash to retain the belt. I had heard that he would be keeping the belt for awhile, notably until World War 3 or Starrcade where he would lose to Hollywood Hogan. Of course I didn’t think anything of the fact that they changed the stipulation of this match to where whoever pinned Nash would receive the title. I shoud’ve known better than to pick Nash, right? I mean, why would they add this stipulation if Nash would end up winning anyway…it doesn’t make sense, does it? Macho Man won. I don’t like that, I liked Macho Man a year ago, when he beat Sting at Spring Stampede for the belt. He was Da Man. Now he sucks. Hogan won the belt from Savage on Nitro. I’d rather have Nash as the champ, but oh well. This match wasn’t main event worthy. WWF has a thing where there ppv’s suck ass until the main event which is so awesome that it makes you think the whole thing was cool. WCW is the opposite. This main event was okay, but not worthy of a $33 main event. **
Bash at the Beach was basic WCW. It had a few parts that entertained but all in all it wasn’t anything special. The Junkyard Hardcore Invitational was about the only thing that makes this ppv stand out from the others. It was pretty funny stuff. I did a fantastic job at predicting this time around. I failed in the main event category, but that’s good because it surprised me that Macho won. The other match I failed to predict was the Junkyard match. (“Have you ever been in a junkyard match?” Bobby Henan asks Tony Shiavone. “Of course not,” he replies) How could I have picked a winner? There were twenty guys it could have been. So I did correctly predict a decent number of 6 out of 8, which is a 75% and a solid C. That ties my high prediction of WWF’s Backlash. All in all BATB received a rating of 18.5, which is above Spring Stampede’s 18 but lower than Uncensored’s 19.5 Totally BATB recieves a ** rating. The tag team match and the Junkyard match were the highlights. Next month at the annual Sturges, SD based Saturday Night outside ppv, Road Wild, Hogan defends his title against Nash, and Sting faces the menacing Sid. But in a mere 10 days we’ll see who bleeds first at WWF’s Fully Loaded; Austin or Undertaker. Until then.
I was busy in Myrtle Beach with the exclusive famly reunion so I couldn’t write the predictions. Did I have fun? Yes, though I wish I had had a bed and a private restroom. I love the ocean though so that aspect was cool, so was golf with little mike and the pteradactyl, whoa! So, Bash at the Beach is over, and on Nitro we learned that once again Hollywood Hogan is the WCW World Heavyweight Champ. Big deal. Give it to someone who hasn’t had it! The last fucking time Macho Man had it the next night he lost it to Hogan. Talk about a walking talking curse. Bash was okay, nothing special, basic WCW ppv. It was better than GAB but worse than Slamboree. The best thing about this years Bash? The Hardcore Junkyard Invitational. You heard me right, and even though in the match no great wreslting moves or hardcore shit happened, it was a sight to see. WWF eat your heart out. Checked are the matches I predicted correctly, underlined are the true winners.
+DISCO INFERNO vs. THE CAT: Even though this match was pretty lame, the stipulation was pretty funny. Whomever loses can’t dance ever again. The Cat won with the help of his red shoe. The Cat is one of the best WCW personalities, I won’t say wrestler, just personality, give him the mike and he makes Chris Jericho look like Sonny Burns (obscure reference; don’t worry you’re not missing anything, trust me). This match was same old, though, but just because The Cat entertains I’ll slap it with a healthy ** rating.
+RICK ‘DOG’ STEINER vs. VAN HAMMER: I bet Stu had a good time laughing. My picks at WW3 three years ago were Dog, Kevin Sullivan, and Macho Man. Dog is the TV champ and Macho the heavyweight champ (Sunday night anyway). Looks like I picked wisely? Where the hell is Sullivan??? Okay, enough ranting. This match was pretty entertaining…surprisingly. Dog ddt’d Hammer on the outside concrete floor after he removed the mat. It looked like it hurt, actually, the whole match looked like both combatants really hated eachother. The best part of the match was the high energy. Short and sweet. Just tell me this: why is this match on a ppv? **1/2
+DEAN MALENKO vs. DAVID FLAIR: Man I’m betting 3 for 3. Not like these matches so far were hard to pick or anything. This match pitted U.S. Champ Davey Flair versus the man of one-thousand positions, I mean holds, the Iceman, Stinko Malenko. I hate both wrestlers. Flair’s camp at least entertains with Asya, Arn, Ric, and the hot assed Torrie. Lame match, though you can’t put down Flair’s camp, what a great bunch. **
+THE WEST TEXAS REDNECKS vs. THE NO LIMIT SOLDIERS: Don’t give me any shit for this matchup. I picked Swoll to win, because whoever gets the pin gets the win, right? It’s a 4 on 4 matchup, but you have to pin each member of the other team. It went down to the wire; Curt Henig verse Rey Mysterio Jr. and my boy, Swoll. Mysterio pinned Henig, but Swoll was categorized as being the co-winner, meaning I fucking have 4 for 4 under my belt you asshole!!! This was a very hard to pick match, though Mysterio, Konnan, and Henig were the obvious favorites. I picked Swoll because he signed a contract for a year or something, they’d better put him in the spotlight! This match was okay, but definitely high energy, until the end because it went on too long and everyone was tired as shit. **
THE HARDCORE JUNKYARD INVITATIONAL (FIT FINLEY): I picked Hak. That was probably the best pick of the bunch. There were around twenty guys beating the shit out of eachother. Who knew that asshole Fit Finley would win? Fire that a-hole, WCW, he fucking blows. Remember last year they acutally gave that prick the TV Title. Every Nitro he’d show up and bore us to death. Give the TV Title to someone with TV personality like…THE CAT! Dogg is okay I s’pose. This match took place (supposedly) 50 miles outside of Ft. Lauderdale in some junkyard. They had a ring of cars in a circle and a few barrels of fire. Oh yeah, and a hellicopter was helping to film. Some of the wrestlers involved were Brian Knobbs, Hugh Morris, The Public Enemy, Mikey Whipwreck, Steven Regal, and a couple of luchadores. This match was insane, crazy, hilarious, wild. No wrestler did any cool move beside hit people with car bumpers, but just the madness made you glued to your chair entertained as all hell and cracking up like a Nebraska dridiot. What a ppv worthy matchup! The internet speculated that it cost around $100,000 to make this matchup happen. Let me tell you it was worth it. Fit Finley got the win after this happened to him: Hak put him in the trunk of a car. Someone in a forklift started pushing the car towards the crusher. Finley jumped out at the last second as the car went into the crusher and blew up as it was smashed. Finley pushed over a barrel filled with fire which caught fire onto a car which exploded. Finley hopped the fence for the Hardcore Trophy. Holy shit I guess you had to so-called “see it to believe it”. ***
+THE TRIAD vs. SATURN & CHRIS BENOIT: I like the Triad (Kanyon, DDP, Bam Bam), but this Saturn/Benoit team just doesn’t work out. Hopefully Harlem Heat will be back because they’re actually a real tag team, and maybe Scotty Steiner will recover from his back injury to see a Steiner Brothers return. Right now the tag team scene is brutal. It’s more or less…The Triad. WCW and the WWF are guilty of putting two singles partners up as tag teams for a limited time stint. It sucks. I want to see a tag team like the Dudley Boys who stick with it for years. This match was excellent, highly energetic, fun, a great ppv match, but I just wish I could see more tag teams in this division, otherwise, what’s the point (remember when Giant and Lex Luger had the belts and one was good, the other bad? What a disaster) ***
+BUFF BAGWELL vs. ‘ROWDY’ RODDY PIPER: This was a boxing match with ten 3-minute rounds reffed by the legendary Mills Lane. This match was entertaining and humorous but truly WCW-calibur lame. The boxing gloves weren’t even real, these fake looking gigantic couldn’t hurt a fly gloves. The match wasn’t even real, obviously fake. Buff’s mom showed up as his Corner Person. Buff got the win after giving Piper the blockbuster from the top rope. What??? Don’t ask. **
SID & THE MAHCO MAN RANDY SAVAGE vs. KEVIN NASH & STING: You may be asking yourself, how could one man get the win if this is a tag team matchup? All that I know is that how could I be so fucking blind? I chose Nash to retain the belt. I had heard that he would be keeping the belt for awhile, notably until World War 3 or Starrcade where he would lose to Hollywood Hogan. Of course I didn’t think anything of the fact that they changed the stipulation of this match to where whoever pinned Nash would receive the title. I shoud’ve known better than to pick Nash, right? I mean, why would they add this stipulation if Nash would end up winning anyway…it doesn’t make sense, does it? Macho Man won. I don’t like that, I liked Macho Man a year ago, when he beat Sting at Spring Stampede for the belt. He was Da Man. Now he sucks. Hogan won the belt from Savage on Nitro. I’d rather have Nash as the champ, but oh well. This match wasn’t main event worthy. WWF has a thing where there ppv’s suck ass until the main event which is so awesome that it makes you think the whole thing was cool. WCW is the opposite. This main event was okay, but not worthy of a $33 main event. **
Bash at the Beach was basic WCW. It had a few parts that entertained but all in all it wasn’t anything special. The Junkyard Hardcore Invitational was about the only thing that makes this ppv stand out from the others. It was pretty funny stuff. I did a fantastic job at predicting this time around. I failed in the main event category, but that’s good because it surprised me that Macho won. The other match I failed to predict was the Junkyard match. (“Have you ever been in a junkyard match?” Bobby Henan asks Tony Shiavone. “Of course not,” he replies) How could I have picked a winner? There were twenty guys it could have been. So I did correctly predict a decent number of 6 out of 8, which is a 75% and a solid C. That ties my high prediction of WWF’s Backlash. All in all BATB received a rating of 18.5, which is above Spring Stampede’s 18 but lower than Uncensored’s 19.5 Totally BATB recieves a ** rating. The tag team match and the Junkyard match were the highlights. Next month at the annual Sturges, SD based Saturday Night outside ppv, Road Wild, Hogan defends his title against Nash, and Sting faces the menacing Sid. But in a mere 10 days we’ll see who bleeds first at WWF’s Fully Loaded; Austin or Undertaker. Until then.
Sunday, June 27, 1999
WWF’s KING OF THE RING
Sunday, June 27th, from Greensboro, North Carolina
I just read that the In Your House tag line is being tossed into the gutter. This means that Summerslam technically won’t be approached as being bigger than December’s Armageddon. Yes, you heard that right. December’s WWF ppv is now called Armagedoon. Great fucking title. Of course Wrestlemania will always be the big one, King of the Ring and Royal Rumble will follow their special formats, and as for Survivor Series, who knows? They used to have the 4 vs. 4 thing going but they tossed that out recently. Whatever. All I know is that King of the Ring is special because it’s the only ppv of the year that follows a tournament type setting. This time it’s an 8 man elimination tournament. What does the winner get? It may sound stupid but nothing. Not a title shot at Fully Loaded. Nothing. At least the Royal Rumble winner gets a title shot at Wrestlemania, making it special. This year, like last year, I couldn’t give two shits about who wins the tournament. The bookers created a fantastic card here. Undertaker/Rock. Holy shit. Austin vs. the McMahons in my favorite type of match; a ladder match. Holy shit. I hope June 27th is etched in stone as one of the best, because we all know Wrestlemania wasn’t as good as it could have been, and I here that the Royal Rumble wasn’t too great either. The KOTR card rocks…so can you run with the ball WWF?
Mr. Ass
vs. Mr. Ass
Ken Shamrock
vs. The Big Show
The Big Show
vs. The Big
Kane Show Kotr Winner:
vs. THE BIG SHOW
The Road Dogg
vs. Chyna
Chyna X-Pac
vs.
Hardcore Holly
vs. X-Pac
X-Pac
There’s my prediction. It’s fucking obvious, ain’t it? Being that Giant is on the posters for KOTR and the cover of August’s video release states that The Big Show plows his way to the top. Of course it could be a ruse for the other obvious Road Dogg vs. Mr. Ass final that a lot of people are interested in. The Big Show is boring, though. If he does go through the tournament he’ll be a tired sack of shit. But it’ll put him up there. Oh well, expect the majority of the tournament to bore you since the winner gets……nothing.
‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN vs. SHANE McMAHON & VINCE McMAHON: This match just happens to be my favorite type of match. A Ladder Match!!! I love ladder matches…but look whose wrestling. Can Shane and Vince actually put the oomph into a ladder match. Remember that Scott Hall/Goldberg ladder match? I don’t. The last WWF ladder match was The Rock vs. Mankind for the coveted belt. It was on Raw and was awesome. Last Summerslam had Rock/HHH in a ladder match which was the ultimate. The reason there is a ladder is because whoever can climb it and grab the briefcase, then that person owns and controls the WWF. I’d love to see a ladder match where a roll of barbed wire was hanging up there, that’d be cool wouldn’t it? This match has potential and should at least be very entertaining and funny. Expect one of the McMahons to get the win, I’m guessing it’ll be the up and coming Shane, because how long can this Stone Cold CEO plotline last?
THE UNDERTAKER vs. THE ROCK: The Rock is a very entertaining wrestler, while The Undertaker is not. This should be entertaining because of the Corporate Ministry showing up and probably letting the ‘Taker win. There’s no stipulation in this match, but hopefully it’ll be a no DQ match so we can see some cool shitznit happen. Expect a tombstone piledriver, a rock bottom, and a people’s elbow. I bet they make it a truly screwjob ending, as bad guys never win cleanly…even in the WWF.
Shane and The Undertaker won, and we did see a tombstone, people’s elbow, and a rock bottom. Am I the fucking man or what? Well KOTR was pretty entertaining. The tournament grew tiresome, especially the extremely poor main event between Ass and X-Pac. The Rock/Undertaker match was okay, but the ladder main event was a doozy. Funny, entertaining, and a great ending to boot. I love the WWF because even if the ppv doesn’t deliver much the main event always does. Remember Backlash? Bad ppv, great main event. Here’s my ramblings on the show with checks next to each winner I predicted correct. I did predict the double main event…so can I beat the 75% record?
+KEN SHAMROCK vs. MR. ASS: On Heat (which was better than a lot of the actual ppv) Shamrock received an ass kicking from Steve Blackman and his singapore cane. Shamrock was spitting blood, so the ref called the match after awhile and awarded the win to Mr. Ass. Not very memorable. **
THE BIG SHOW vs. KANE: Most idiots out there figured Big Show would win the whole damn tournament, but apparently WWF didn’t want to be too obvious so they even had the bastard lose the first match. I like Kane better, but this match was pretty lame. Kane got the win after hitting Big Show over the head with a steel chair, which was delivered to the ring by none other than Bob Holly. **
CHYNA vs. THE ROAD DOGG: I guess you can forget about Queen of the Ring. Thank God she didn’t wrestle through the tournament because all she knows is boring holds. This match was the worst of the tournmanet. Triple H was forced to leave ringside from the elusive HeartBreak Kid, and Dogg stopped Chyna from hitting him in the privates because he was wearing a cup. Does this mean nobody else wears a cup? *1/2
+X-PAC vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: I love Bob “Hardcore” Holly. He’s fuckin’A he-larious. X-Pac sucks though. This match was basic until Hardcore got fed up, grabbed a steel chair, planted X-Pac’s skull into the mat and got his ass disqualified. Probably the best match of the tournament. **1/2
MR. ASS vs. KANE: I don’t even remember this match so I guess it wasn’t that great, right? Big Show came out and hit Kane over the head with a chair. Ass got the win. This tournament should be exciting, right? **
+THE ROAD DOGG vs. X-PAC: Fairly surprising, being I figured the final would either be Giant/X-Pac or Dogg/Ass. I was wrong both ways, but X-Pac did make it to the finals so there’s something. This match was really lame, though Dogg gets the crowd riled up. *
MR. ASS vs. X-PAC: I didn’t have either combatant to win, at least not here. When me, my brother, and Tony bet I picked the elusive Ass/Dog final and won $10. This final was after the Rock/’Taker match and short and very semi-sweet. It was too short and Ass wasn’t even crowned, he just got the pin and ran off. I guess he realized that the KOTR is really lame because the winner gets…nothing. *
THE BROOD vs. THE HARDY BOYZ: They actually spell boys with a Z, isn’t that insane? This match had to be a filler thing. The bookers looked at their watch, “Well shit we’ll be done by 10:15 at this rate.” So they had The Brood and The Hardy Boyz fight. Problem? Not only was it not scheduled, but these tag teams fought AN HOUR EARLIER ON SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT. They just fucking fought! I’m guessing that over 75% of the people watching the ppv watched Heat. We aren’t morons, why watch a match WE JUST FUCKING SAW? Filler. I don’t really care for either team, they’re pretty much WCW calibur. *1/2
+THE UNDERTAKER vs. THE ROCK: This match was long and just okay. The Rock was funnier when he was a bad guy, now he doesn’t entertain as much. Remember when he used to grab the announcer’s headsets, or at Backlash with “The Rock Cam”? Hilarious. Here he gets cheated out of the title twice. Is it me, or do the bad guys only win by cheating? The Undertaker is awesome, have him win clean for once. This match went on for too long I think. The Rock’s charisma hopefully will return in time for SummerSlam. **
+VINCE MCMAHON & SHANE MCMAHON vs. ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN: This year can more or less be called the year of the Wrestling McMahons. Vince fought in the Royal Rumble. Vince fought in a steel cage against Austin at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Shane fought X-Pac at Wrestlemania. And now this great main event ladder match for all the marbles. I love watching amateur wrestlers. Vince and Shane don’t wrestle every night so when they do they make us laugh our asses off. They are more entertaining wrestling than Stone Cold is or The Rock is. Yes, if they wrestled every night their pizazz would wear off. Boy was this a great main event. They didn’t really climb the ladder enough times, but all in all in was a lot of fun. Shane on Vince’s shoulders reaching for the belt? Stone Cold ready to grab the case when all of a sudden it raises. Shane grabbing the case and bringing it down. Vince leaving the ring giving Austin the finger. This was a great main event. It wasn’t perfect, but for all that it promised it truly delivered. ***1/2
As for the rest of the ppv, it held my attention but only because I was busy talking to my cousin about the Torch Match (don’t ask). The tournament itself was interesting at first just to see who would win the first rounds, but it got boring after that, and the final match was horrible when it should have been awesome. The Rock/’Taker match needed more entertainment, and that Brood/Boyz match shouldn’t have even been there. Sunday Night Heat, though, was awesome. I wish they would keep some of those gimmicks for the ppv. Anyway, I guessed 5 out of 9, which tabulates into a 55.5% F. Man. I guess both double main events, and I picked X-Pac to go to the final round which he did! That stupid Brood match I didn’t even pick because it just showed up on the card. I would’ve picked the stupid Brood too and would have lost. Lucky. Well I came close to my lowest number, a horrible 50% F at Wrestlemania. I should get extra points for guessing the main event because I’m never wrong with the WWF. 1999’s KoTR receives a 15.2 rating, which is really low, but I enjoyed the show. I think if Sunday Night Heat was part of the ppv it would have rated much higher. In stars I would go so far as to call it a **1/2 show because Heat was great and all in all it entertained more than WCW does. Fully Loaded pits ‘Taker versus HHH and in 12 days we’ll meet again when Sid & Macho take on Sting and Nash in Bash at the Beach. Until then…
I just read that the In Your House tag line is being tossed into the gutter. This means that Summerslam technically won’t be approached as being bigger than December’s Armageddon. Yes, you heard that right. December’s WWF ppv is now called Armagedoon. Great fucking title. Of course Wrestlemania will always be the big one, King of the Ring and Royal Rumble will follow their special formats, and as for Survivor Series, who knows? They used to have the 4 vs. 4 thing going but they tossed that out recently. Whatever. All I know is that King of the Ring is special because it’s the only ppv of the year that follows a tournament type setting. This time it’s an 8 man elimination tournament. What does the winner get? It may sound stupid but nothing. Not a title shot at Fully Loaded. Nothing. At least the Royal Rumble winner gets a title shot at Wrestlemania, making it special. This year, like last year, I couldn’t give two shits about who wins the tournament. The bookers created a fantastic card here. Undertaker/Rock. Holy shit. Austin vs. the McMahons in my favorite type of match; a ladder match. Holy shit. I hope June 27th is etched in stone as one of the best, because we all know Wrestlemania wasn’t as good as it could have been, and I here that the Royal Rumble wasn’t too great either. The KOTR card rocks…so can you run with the ball WWF?
Mr. Ass
vs. Mr. Ass
Ken Shamrock
vs. The Big Show
The Big Show
vs. The Big
Kane Show Kotr Winner:
vs. THE BIG SHOW
The Road Dogg
vs. Chyna
Chyna X-Pac
vs.
Hardcore Holly
vs. X-Pac
X-Pac
There’s my prediction. It’s fucking obvious, ain’t it? Being that Giant is on the posters for KOTR and the cover of August’s video release states that The Big Show plows his way to the top. Of course it could be a ruse for the other obvious Road Dogg vs. Mr. Ass final that a lot of people are interested in. The Big Show is boring, though. If he does go through the tournament he’ll be a tired sack of shit. But it’ll put him up there. Oh well, expect the majority of the tournament to bore you since the winner gets……nothing.
‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN vs. SHANE McMAHON & VINCE McMAHON: This match just happens to be my favorite type of match. A Ladder Match!!! I love ladder matches…but look whose wrestling. Can Shane and Vince actually put the oomph into a ladder match. Remember that Scott Hall/Goldberg ladder match? I don’t. The last WWF ladder match was The Rock vs. Mankind for the coveted belt. It was on Raw and was awesome. Last Summerslam had Rock/HHH in a ladder match which was the ultimate. The reason there is a ladder is because whoever can climb it and grab the briefcase, then that person owns and controls the WWF. I’d love to see a ladder match where a roll of barbed wire was hanging up there, that’d be cool wouldn’t it? This match has potential and should at least be very entertaining and funny. Expect one of the McMahons to get the win, I’m guessing it’ll be the up and coming Shane, because how long can this Stone Cold CEO plotline last?
THE UNDERTAKER vs. THE ROCK: The Rock is a very entertaining wrestler, while The Undertaker is not. This should be entertaining because of the Corporate Ministry showing up and probably letting the ‘Taker win. There’s no stipulation in this match, but hopefully it’ll be a no DQ match so we can see some cool shitznit happen. Expect a tombstone piledriver, a rock bottom, and a people’s elbow. I bet they make it a truly screwjob ending, as bad guys never win cleanly…even in the WWF.
Shane and The Undertaker won, and we did see a tombstone, people’s elbow, and a rock bottom. Am I the fucking man or what? Well KOTR was pretty entertaining. The tournament grew tiresome, especially the extremely poor main event between Ass and X-Pac. The Rock/Undertaker match was okay, but the ladder main event was a doozy. Funny, entertaining, and a great ending to boot. I love the WWF because even if the ppv doesn’t deliver much the main event always does. Remember Backlash? Bad ppv, great main event. Here’s my ramblings on the show with checks next to each winner I predicted correct. I did predict the double main event…so can I beat the 75% record?
+KEN SHAMROCK vs. MR. ASS: On Heat (which was better than a lot of the actual ppv) Shamrock received an ass kicking from Steve Blackman and his singapore cane. Shamrock was spitting blood, so the ref called the match after awhile and awarded the win to Mr. Ass. Not very memorable. **
THE BIG SHOW vs. KANE: Most idiots out there figured Big Show would win the whole damn tournament, but apparently WWF didn’t want to be too obvious so they even had the bastard lose the first match. I like Kane better, but this match was pretty lame. Kane got the win after hitting Big Show over the head with a steel chair, which was delivered to the ring by none other than Bob Holly. **
CHYNA vs. THE ROAD DOGG: I guess you can forget about Queen of the Ring. Thank God she didn’t wrestle through the tournament because all she knows is boring holds. This match was the worst of the tournmanet. Triple H was forced to leave ringside from the elusive HeartBreak Kid, and Dogg stopped Chyna from hitting him in the privates because he was wearing a cup. Does this mean nobody else wears a cup? *1/2
+X-PAC vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: I love Bob “Hardcore” Holly. He’s fuckin’A he-larious. X-Pac sucks though. This match was basic until Hardcore got fed up, grabbed a steel chair, planted X-Pac’s skull into the mat and got his ass disqualified. Probably the best match of the tournament. **1/2
MR. ASS vs. KANE: I don’t even remember this match so I guess it wasn’t that great, right? Big Show came out and hit Kane over the head with a chair. Ass got the win. This tournament should be exciting, right? **
+THE ROAD DOGG vs. X-PAC: Fairly surprising, being I figured the final would either be Giant/X-Pac or Dogg/Ass. I was wrong both ways, but X-Pac did make it to the finals so there’s something. This match was really lame, though Dogg gets the crowd riled up. *
MR. ASS vs. X-PAC: I didn’t have either combatant to win, at least not here. When me, my brother, and Tony bet I picked the elusive Ass/Dog final and won $10. This final was after the Rock/’Taker match and short and very semi-sweet. It was too short and Ass wasn’t even crowned, he just got the pin and ran off. I guess he realized that the KOTR is really lame because the winner gets…nothing. *
THE BROOD vs. THE HARDY BOYZ: They actually spell boys with a Z, isn’t that insane? This match had to be a filler thing. The bookers looked at their watch, “Well shit we’ll be done by 10:15 at this rate.” So they had The Brood and The Hardy Boyz fight. Problem? Not only was it not scheduled, but these tag teams fought AN HOUR EARLIER ON SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT. They just fucking fought! I’m guessing that over 75% of the people watching the ppv watched Heat. We aren’t morons, why watch a match WE JUST FUCKING SAW? Filler. I don’t really care for either team, they’re pretty much WCW calibur. *1/2
+THE UNDERTAKER vs. THE ROCK: This match was long and just okay. The Rock was funnier when he was a bad guy, now he doesn’t entertain as much. Remember when he used to grab the announcer’s headsets, or at Backlash with “The Rock Cam”? Hilarious. Here he gets cheated out of the title twice. Is it me, or do the bad guys only win by cheating? The Undertaker is awesome, have him win clean for once. This match went on for too long I think. The Rock’s charisma hopefully will return in time for SummerSlam. **
+VINCE MCMAHON & SHANE MCMAHON vs. ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN: This year can more or less be called the year of the Wrestling McMahons. Vince fought in the Royal Rumble. Vince fought in a steel cage against Austin at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Shane fought X-Pac at Wrestlemania. And now this great main event ladder match for all the marbles. I love watching amateur wrestlers. Vince and Shane don’t wrestle every night so when they do they make us laugh our asses off. They are more entertaining wrestling than Stone Cold is or The Rock is. Yes, if they wrestled every night their pizazz would wear off. Boy was this a great main event. They didn’t really climb the ladder enough times, but all in all in was a lot of fun. Shane on Vince’s shoulders reaching for the belt? Stone Cold ready to grab the case when all of a sudden it raises. Shane grabbing the case and bringing it down. Vince leaving the ring giving Austin the finger. This was a great main event. It wasn’t perfect, but for all that it promised it truly delivered. ***1/2
As for the rest of the ppv, it held my attention but only because I was busy talking to my cousin about the Torch Match (don’t ask). The tournament itself was interesting at first just to see who would win the first rounds, but it got boring after that, and the final match was horrible when it should have been awesome. The Rock/’Taker match needed more entertainment, and that Brood/Boyz match shouldn’t have even been there. Sunday Night Heat, though, was awesome. I wish they would keep some of those gimmicks for the ppv. Anyway, I guessed 5 out of 9, which tabulates into a 55.5% F. Man. I guess both double main events, and I picked X-Pac to go to the final round which he did! That stupid Brood match I didn’t even pick because it just showed up on the card. I would’ve picked the stupid Brood too and would have lost. Lucky. Well I came close to my lowest number, a horrible 50% F at Wrestlemania. I should get extra points for guessing the main event because I’m never wrong with the WWF. 1999’s KoTR receives a 15.2 rating, which is really low, but I enjoyed the show. I think if Sunday Night Heat was part of the ppv it would have rated much higher. In stars I would go so far as to call it a **1/2 show because Heat was great and all in all it entertained more than WCW does. Fully Loaded pits ‘Taker versus HHH and in 12 days we’ll meet again when Sid & Macho take on Sting and Nash in Bash at the Beach. Until then…
Sunday, June 13, 1999
WCW’s GREAT AMERICAN BASH
Baltimore, Md.
We all know there’s a gap between this ppv and the last. The last ppv being WWF’s Over The Edge, where of course Owen Hart inadvertantly plunged to his death after a botched stunt was supposed to lower him on a cable from the rafters to the ring. At first they said he hit his release switch by accident, now they’re saying he wasn’t hooked on correctly. Whatever the reason, it was the darkest day in wrestling. He was only in his thirties, had a wife and two kids, and had a large family. Wrestling in general has moved on, WWF’s Higher Power mystery basically put Owen in the dust, and WCW didn’t really have any reason to dwell. Every time I see another headline about the tragic death I feel sad. I know, who was Owen Hart? I never met him. I never knew him. I knew a character. The thing about it is, that he didn’t OD on muscle relaxants, he didn’t die in a car accident…he died in the ring…in one of the most hellish freak accidents I’ve ever had the audacity to sort of witness (I was watching the ppv live, even though they didn’t show it…you had to know something was terribly amiss). Things already haven’t changed, even to the ironic words of Owen’s character: “Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.” The industry won’t forget you, and neither will I.
WCW’s last ppv, Slamboree, was a great show, but pulled in the worst ppv ratings of the year (Souled Out: .75, Superbrawl IX: 1.2, Uncensored, .75, Spring Stampede: .68) with a horrible .48 To top that off, Nitro is scoring low 3 and upper 2 ratings while WWF hits near 7s. One point equals 100,000 homes.
Fuck all this existensial shit. Let’s look at product. While WWF usually entertains the hell out of you, WCW is definitely for the older, more mature viewer. In short, it cracks you up. Which makes the ppv’s lame, since there aren’t any interviews just three hours of wrestling.
How is the Great American Bash card? So-so. There are only three fights I’m looking forward to, (Nash/Macho, Cat/Norton, Hak/Knobbs) and we all know the Cat fight is going to bore the shit out of everyone anyway.
WCW’s push to get high ppv numbers this time around was to push the main event through the roof and totally forget about EVERY OTHER SINGLE MATCH. Which always works for WWF and usually ppvs only push the main event anyway. Here’s my predictions, my bitches, my ribs, my ideas, my thoughts: Underlined are the predicted victors.
DISCO INFERNO vs. BUFF BAGWELL: Who cares, right? Disco is funnier announcing, and his move, The Last Dance, is fucking Steve Austin’s move. Buff is a bore, also, so don’t expect much. Who will win? Who knows. Buff is a crowd favorite but it seems like the bookers always make him lose, so I’ll let Disco take the victory.
MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE vs. KEVIN NASH: They can’t crown a new Heavyweight Champ for the fourth ppv in a row can they? Hogan lost to Flair, Flair lost to DDP, DDP lost to Nash. In short: they’d better not. Although Macho as the champ would be entertaining, since Nash doesn’t really do much of anything. I heard Scott Hall might show up here but that was a month old rumor. The match should entertain since they’ve hyped it up like the next Star Wars movie.
DDP & BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. SATURN & CHRIS BENOIT: Talked about a botched tag team division. Curt Henig and some nobody had it and then lost it to Benoit and Malenko who lost it to Mysterio and Kidman who lost it to Raven and Saturn who lost it to DDP and Bam Bam Bigelow who lost it to Saturn and Benoit who lost it to DDP and Bam Bam Bigelow who lost it to Saturn and Benoit. What a disaster. None of these teams are even fucking tag teams, just two singles partners put together for a month or so. Saturn and Chris Benoit aren’t even fucking friends, so don’t expect them to keep the belts. This match will be just okay.
RIC STEINER vs. STING: Is it me, or is Stu right? Sting is stung every fucking time he wrestles. What’s up with this dude? He’s the most popular wcw wrestler and he always loses. Okay, he did win the belt a few weeks back, but he lost it after an hour long title reign. What a pussy. Don’t expect him to win here either, because Tank About and Scott Steiner always have plans…and the ref calling for a DQ is rarely used, they always do it when he’s not looking. Should be an interesting match, I like both combatants, and can’t wait to see what’s up Tank’s sleeve.
“ROWDY” RODDY PIPER vs. RIC FLAIR: The return wheelchair match, oh boy! These guys are funny, and with Arn Anderson and Asya at ringside, it should at the very least provide a few laughs. I think neither will be president after the summer anyway, it’ll probably be Bischoff or Hogan, so this match doesn’t mean much, but Piper as the president would make a few memorable Nitros until Rodman shows up.
REY MYSTERIO JR. & KONNAN vs. CURT HENIG & BOBBY DUNCUM JR: Man, that Duncum Jr. is ppv material! Shee-it, they call him Mr. PPV! Did you see that one steel cage match with him versus Sting when he won. Best match of my life. Okay I’m being fucking sarcastic, who is this washed up loser with cowboy hat and rope? This match is being touted on WCW. COM as a rap vs. country match. I guess if you look hard enough for reasons why WCW is no. 2 you can find them. These good guys should prevail, and it should be an okay match, with maybe two cool Mysterio moves.
HAK vs. “NASTY” BRIAN KNOBBS: Now that Bam Bam is officially out of the hardcore division, it’s more or less Hak, Knobbs, and Hugh Morris (which sucks, but has one more wrestler than WWF’s hardcore division). This match should be the best of the night. Why? Cause I love Hak. He’s da man. Remember last week when he pulled a Sandman and came out smoking? He always entertains. It hurt me when he wasn’t on the last ppv. He’s only been on 2 ppvs and made both of them look like classics. He pulls out no stops on pay tv. Remember the jump off of the stage coach at Spring Stampede? Awesome. Here’s hoping both men are bloody heaps and the crowd goes nuts.
SCOTT NORTON vs. THE CAT: I love the Cat. He hasn’t been on a pay per view since March’s Uncensored, when he lost to Jerry Flynn. Now let me ask you: Where is Jerry Flynn? Exaclty. Nowhere. But The Cat is still here. After almost nine months of doing the same exact “I am the greatest!” gimmick, he’s still going strong. I love The Cat. He’ without a doubt the funniest wrestler. His dancing, his James Brown imitation, and of course when he makes fun of the crowd. His Nortn feud is turning into a semi-classic, and this is the final nail in the coffin. Should at the very least, be somewhat interesting.
It’s Wednesday night. GAB, for short, was on Sunday. Why’d it take me so long. Well I had to catch three replay matches last night (Hak/Knobbs, Macho/Nash, Ric Steiner/Sting) for obvious reasons you will find down below. How was it? About as bad as Suprbore, probably worse. In fact, I am now renamed this past WCW event as The Great American Bore. Yes, it truly sucked expect for maybe six minutes of entertainment. WCW put on a terrific ppv last month, one of their best, and then sink to their lowest. No Hogan, no Goldberg, no fun. Even the Hak match was below par, mostly because it was so damn short. The main even started at 10:35 and ended at 10:43. Talk about a killer anticlimax, though Sid Viscious showing up and surprising the world was a great ending, though it wasn’t great enough to make GAB seem worth watching. If you look for reasons why the WCW sucks, they aren’t exactly few and far between. Here are my thoughts on the night, the matches, the wild dogs (heh heh heh), and The Cat’s dancin’ shoes. Underlined are the winners, checked are the matches I predicted. My record is 75%, can I beat it? Find out below!
+HAK vs. “NASTY” BRIAN KNOBBS: At least WCW doesn’t have a Hardcore Belt. Why you ask? They don’t fucking need it. At first the hardcore division consisted of Hak, Raven, and Bam Bam Bigelow. Hak beat ‘em all, then lost to Bam Bam at Spring Stampede. Brian Knobbs showed up as Raven left to pursue the tag team belts. Bam Bam Bigelow beat “Nasty” Brian Knobbs and then retired to pursue the tag team belts. Hugh Morrus showed up to take Bam Bam’s place. Hak just beat Brian Knobbs. So right now, Hak, Morrus, and Knobbs are the only hardcore combatants. Talk about competition. Fuck my ramblings, was this match HARDCORE? Not really, though Hak really got his ass kicked. No tables, no fire extinguishers. One ladder, one chair, one trash can. Very short matchup. Hak winning than having his ass kicked. Great use of the ladder, maybe make the Morrus/Hak match next month a ladder match with the Hardcore Title way up high? Oh yeah, I said don’t have one. Maybe I’ve changed my mind. Wouldn’t that kick ass. Morrus and Hak Ladder Match. Wow. Don’t fuck this one up WCW. **1/2
THE CAT vs. HORACE HOGAN: Apparently Scott Norton wasn’t feeling good, so they replaced him with Horace. As if I care! We all came to see The Cat anyway. This time Sonny Onoo came out to the ring with a mysterious briefcase. We found out in it were The Cat’s red dancing shoes which he used to kick Horace in the face with and get the win. The Cat also has a flowing red cloak that has written in gold lettering: The Greatest. Man this guy is funny. Boring match but The Cat makes me laugh. **
+VAN HAMMER vs. MIKEY WHIPWRECK: Boy, an un-announced matchup on a ppv. I usually wouldn’t have been happy, but seeing this great matchup…sarcasm…heavy sarcasm. Whipwreck is cool…if he was in ECW (he actually had the ECW World Title once). Van Hammer blows because his gimmick is walking out with wrestling tights that feature the word peace crossed out. Whoa this match sucked. Majorly. This is a Saturday Night calibur matchup. It wasn’t even announced, so it wasn’t like revenge had anything to do with it. ½*
+CURT HENIG & BOBBY DUNCUM JR. vs. KONNAN & REY MYSTERIO JR.: This match was touted as a Rap vs. Country match. Who the fuck comes up with these ideas? The only true reason to have it was a way to introduce Master P and his No Limit soldiers into the fold. But even though Master P is this big rap producer…I’ve never heard of him or have seen ‘em. Who is this guy? Lame matchup, I hate Konnan, and Mysterio has sucked ever since he had his mask taken, now he’s a rapping hoodlum whose moves aren’t really exciting anymore. The other team, Team Country, is even lamer, though Curt Henig is pretty funny, especially his new Rap is Crap music. Horrible matchup, ppv worthy only because Master P’s involvment. *
“THE NATURE BOY” RIC FLAIR vs. “ROWDY” RODDY PIPER: This is the wheelchair rematch from Slamboree. See Flair won by cheating, but Bischoff overturned it, so both senior citizens thought they were the president. Now Ric Flair is officially the president, and on Nitro it was announced Piper is his vice-president. See, they aren’t enemies afterall, during this matchup Buff Bagwell showed up to help Piper but he got his ass beat by both men. Dull matchup, really lame. On Nitro it was said best by the Iceman Dean Malenko, the man of a thousand positions, “If someone woke up from a fifteen year coma and he saw you two (piper & flair) in the ring he’d think no time had passed.” Good job Iceman, you’ve got a pulse. *
DISCO INFERNO vs. BUFF BAGWELL: This ‘feud’ was started on Thunder. They had the weekend to build it up, but, damn it! I missed Saturday Night. Lame matchup. Disco did the Last Dance (which is Stone Cold’s stunner move) on Buff outside the ring which was cool, but Buff fucked up his finisher, The Blockbuster. Disco is hilarious…when he’s talking. I hope this dude gets an announcing job down the road. ½*
+RIC STEINER vs. STING: I had mentioned earlier that Stu is always right because he always says that Sting is stung. Sting is always stung. He really had his stinger stung Sunday night. The match was a no-holds barred matchup, meaning no disqualifications, pin falls count anywhere (ECW calls this type of match an Ultimate Death Match, but they try to build up everything). Okay match, Steiner gave Sting a piledriver on the cement which was killer. Then Steiner took Sting backstage where the cameras cut to an obviously taped segment where Scott Steiner and Tank Abbot had two doberman’s and a pitt bull attack Sting. In some of the scenes it wasn’t even Sting, it was a trainer with Sting suit, makeup, face paint, and A TOWELL AROUND HIS HAND. Yeah, I know, you can’t have the dog attack your hand without something to protect it, but Sting didn’t have shit and they cut to Sting with a towell around his hand. It’s gotten to the point in wrestling that the promoters know you know it’s fake so they don’t even try to make it look real. Funny and truly lame at the same time. I’ll give it **, but one and half of those stars are solely for the dogs, plus Ric called Baltimore, “The shittiest town.” Way to go. Fuck censorship!
+SATURN & CHRIS BENOIT vs. KANYON & DDP: The Triad is now Kanyon, DDP, and Bam Bam. Well they had the belts, lost them to Benoit & Saturn on Nitro, won them back on Nitro, lost them on Thunder, and now have them again. Jesus, does anyone give a fuck about these tag belts anymore? Give the belts to the Steiners or Harlem Heat and shut up already! And did you ever notice the luchadores are like there own wrestling organization (LWO flashback)? I mean they don’t even wrestle regular guys, just themselves, and they don’t even have storylines. I guess the match I’m supposed to be talking about must’ve been pretty lame for me to start talking about luchadores for no reason. *
+KEVIN ‘BIG SEXY’ NASH vs. “MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE: This match was officially 7 minutes long. 7 minutes!!! Do you realize how much you hyped this up and to give it merely 7 minutes of TV time!!! The fucking boring assed tag team matchup lasted near 25 minutes! This match really sucked. Macho’s women got involved, but the house really blew down when Sid Viscious showed up to everyone’s surprise. Hell, last month at ECW’s Hardcore Heaven Sid showed up to everyone’s surprise. This guy gets around. Great ending to a truly lame night. **
Well The Great American Bore is history. I’m glad it’s history. Bash at the Beach should be good with Hak/Morrus and probably Sid/Nash and I’m sure Master P and Swoll will show up, and rumors of Kevin Greene. Rodman of course will show up July 5th but only be on the Road Wild ppv. Maybe they’ll get Tank Abbot into the ring, and maybe if we’re lucky that rumored Bret Hart/Goldberg match we’ve been waiting for forever will happen. Well, statistically speaking, GAB scored a low rating in my book of a 11.1, which makes it the worst ppv of the year, way below Superbrawl’s 16.5 which had been the lowest. In stars, that’s a *1/2. How did I score? Well the record is a 75%, a solid C, which I scored at Slamboree and WWF’s Backlash. I correctly predicted 6 of 9 matches, which is a 66% and a D. This ties my Uncensored and Spring Stampede scores, but doesn’t really go near the lowest of the low, my 50% F which I scored at Wrestlemania. But it should be hard to predict the big one, right? Well don’t figure King of the Ring to produce any records, since I have to predcit a whole 8 man tournament. Expect a doozy. See ya in Greensboro in a measly 11 days.
We all know there’s a gap between this ppv and the last. The last ppv being WWF’s Over The Edge, where of course Owen Hart inadvertantly plunged to his death after a botched stunt was supposed to lower him on a cable from the rafters to the ring. At first they said he hit his release switch by accident, now they’re saying he wasn’t hooked on correctly. Whatever the reason, it was the darkest day in wrestling. He was only in his thirties, had a wife and two kids, and had a large family. Wrestling in general has moved on, WWF’s Higher Power mystery basically put Owen in the dust, and WCW didn’t really have any reason to dwell. Every time I see another headline about the tragic death I feel sad. I know, who was Owen Hart? I never met him. I never knew him. I knew a character. The thing about it is, that he didn’t OD on muscle relaxants, he didn’t die in a car accident…he died in the ring…in one of the most hellish freak accidents I’ve ever had the audacity to sort of witness (I was watching the ppv live, even though they didn’t show it…you had to know something was terribly amiss). Things already haven’t changed, even to the ironic words of Owen’s character: “Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.” The industry won’t forget you, and neither will I.
WCW’s last ppv, Slamboree, was a great show, but pulled in the worst ppv ratings of the year (Souled Out: .75, Superbrawl IX: 1.2, Uncensored, .75, Spring Stampede: .68) with a horrible .48 To top that off, Nitro is scoring low 3 and upper 2 ratings while WWF hits near 7s. One point equals 100,000 homes.
Fuck all this existensial shit. Let’s look at product. While WWF usually entertains the hell out of you, WCW is definitely for the older, more mature viewer. In short, it cracks you up. Which makes the ppv’s lame, since there aren’t any interviews just three hours of wrestling.
How is the Great American Bash card? So-so. There are only three fights I’m looking forward to, (Nash/Macho, Cat/Norton, Hak/Knobbs) and we all know the Cat fight is going to bore the shit out of everyone anyway.
WCW’s push to get high ppv numbers this time around was to push the main event through the roof and totally forget about EVERY OTHER SINGLE MATCH. Which always works for WWF and usually ppvs only push the main event anyway. Here’s my predictions, my bitches, my ribs, my ideas, my thoughts: Underlined are the predicted victors.
DISCO INFERNO vs. BUFF BAGWELL: Who cares, right? Disco is funnier announcing, and his move, The Last Dance, is fucking Steve Austin’s move. Buff is a bore, also, so don’t expect much. Who will win? Who knows. Buff is a crowd favorite but it seems like the bookers always make him lose, so I’ll let Disco take the victory.
MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE vs. KEVIN NASH: They can’t crown a new Heavyweight Champ for the fourth ppv in a row can they? Hogan lost to Flair, Flair lost to DDP, DDP lost to Nash. In short: they’d better not. Although Macho as the champ would be entertaining, since Nash doesn’t really do much of anything. I heard Scott Hall might show up here but that was a month old rumor. The match should entertain since they’ve hyped it up like the next Star Wars movie.
DDP & BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. SATURN & CHRIS BENOIT: Talked about a botched tag team division. Curt Henig and some nobody had it and then lost it to Benoit and Malenko who lost it to Mysterio and Kidman who lost it to Raven and Saturn who lost it to DDP and Bam Bam Bigelow who lost it to Saturn and Benoit who lost it to DDP and Bam Bam Bigelow who lost it to Saturn and Benoit. What a disaster. None of these teams are even fucking tag teams, just two singles partners put together for a month or so. Saturn and Chris Benoit aren’t even fucking friends, so don’t expect them to keep the belts. This match will be just okay.
RIC STEINER vs. STING: Is it me, or is Stu right? Sting is stung every fucking time he wrestles. What’s up with this dude? He’s the most popular wcw wrestler and he always loses. Okay, he did win the belt a few weeks back, but he lost it after an hour long title reign. What a pussy. Don’t expect him to win here either, because Tank About and Scott Steiner always have plans…and the ref calling for a DQ is rarely used, they always do it when he’s not looking. Should be an interesting match, I like both combatants, and can’t wait to see what’s up Tank’s sleeve.
“ROWDY” RODDY PIPER vs. RIC FLAIR: The return wheelchair match, oh boy! These guys are funny, and with Arn Anderson and Asya at ringside, it should at the very least provide a few laughs. I think neither will be president after the summer anyway, it’ll probably be Bischoff or Hogan, so this match doesn’t mean much, but Piper as the president would make a few memorable Nitros until Rodman shows up.
REY MYSTERIO JR. & KONNAN vs. CURT HENIG & BOBBY DUNCUM JR: Man, that Duncum Jr. is ppv material! Shee-it, they call him Mr. PPV! Did you see that one steel cage match with him versus Sting when he won. Best match of my life. Okay I’m being fucking sarcastic, who is this washed up loser with cowboy hat and rope? This match is being touted on WCW. COM as a rap vs. country match. I guess if you look hard enough for reasons why WCW is no. 2 you can find them. These good guys should prevail, and it should be an okay match, with maybe two cool Mysterio moves.
HAK vs. “NASTY” BRIAN KNOBBS: Now that Bam Bam is officially out of the hardcore division, it’s more or less Hak, Knobbs, and Hugh Morris (which sucks, but has one more wrestler than WWF’s hardcore division). This match should be the best of the night. Why? Cause I love Hak. He’s da man. Remember last week when he pulled a Sandman and came out smoking? He always entertains. It hurt me when he wasn’t on the last ppv. He’s only been on 2 ppvs and made both of them look like classics. He pulls out no stops on pay tv. Remember the jump off of the stage coach at Spring Stampede? Awesome. Here’s hoping both men are bloody heaps and the crowd goes nuts.
SCOTT NORTON vs. THE CAT: I love the Cat. He hasn’t been on a pay per view since March’s Uncensored, when he lost to Jerry Flynn. Now let me ask you: Where is Jerry Flynn? Exaclty. Nowhere. But The Cat is still here. After almost nine months of doing the same exact “I am the greatest!” gimmick, he’s still going strong. I love The Cat. He’ without a doubt the funniest wrestler. His dancing, his James Brown imitation, and of course when he makes fun of the crowd. His Nortn feud is turning into a semi-classic, and this is the final nail in the coffin. Should at the very least, be somewhat interesting.
It’s Wednesday night. GAB, for short, was on Sunday. Why’d it take me so long. Well I had to catch three replay matches last night (Hak/Knobbs, Macho/Nash, Ric Steiner/Sting) for obvious reasons you will find down below. How was it? About as bad as Suprbore, probably worse. In fact, I am now renamed this past WCW event as The Great American Bore. Yes, it truly sucked expect for maybe six minutes of entertainment. WCW put on a terrific ppv last month, one of their best, and then sink to their lowest. No Hogan, no Goldberg, no fun. Even the Hak match was below par, mostly because it was so damn short. The main even started at 10:35 and ended at 10:43. Talk about a killer anticlimax, though Sid Viscious showing up and surprising the world was a great ending, though it wasn’t great enough to make GAB seem worth watching. If you look for reasons why the WCW sucks, they aren’t exactly few and far between. Here are my thoughts on the night, the matches, the wild dogs (heh heh heh), and The Cat’s dancin’ shoes. Underlined are the winners, checked are the matches I predicted. My record is 75%, can I beat it? Find out below!
+HAK vs. “NASTY” BRIAN KNOBBS: At least WCW doesn’t have a Hardcore Belt. Why you ask? They don’t fucking need it. At first the hardcore division consisted of Hak, Raven, and Bam Bam Bigelow. Hak beat ‘em all, then lost to Bam Bam at Spring Stampede. Brian Knobbs showed up as Raven left to pursue the tag team belts. Bam Bam Bigelow beat “Nasty” Brian Knobbs and then retired to pursue the tag team belts. Hugh Morrus showed up to take Bam Bam’s place. Hak just beat Brian Knobbs. So right now, Hak, Morrus, and Knobbs are the only hardcore combatants. Talk about competition. Fuck my ramblings, was this match HARDCORE? Not really, though Hak really got his ass kicked. No tables, no fire extinguishers. One ladder, one chair, one trash can. Very short matchup. Hak winning than having his ass kicked. Great use of the ladder, maybe make the Morrus/Hak match next month a ladder match with the Hardcore Title way up high? Oh yeah, I said don’t have one. Maybe I’ve changed my mind. Wouldn’t that kick ass. Morrus and Hak Ladder Match. Wow. Don’t fuck this one up WCW. **1/2
THE CAT vs. HORACE HOGAN: Apparently Scott Norton wasn’t feeling good, so they replaced him with Horace. As if I care! We all came to see The Cat anyway. This time Sonny Onoo came out to the ring with a mysterious briefcase. We found out in it were The Cat’s red dancing shoes which he used to kick Horace in the face with and get the win. The Cat also has a flowing red cloak that has written in gold lettering: The Greatest. Man this guy is funny. Boring match but The Cat makes me laugh. **
+VAN HAMMER vs. MIKEY WHIPWRECK: Boy, an un-announced matchup on a ppv. I usually wouldn’t have been happy, but seeing this great matchup…sarcasm…heavy sarcasm. Whipwreck is cool…if he was in ECW (he actually had the ECW World Title once). Van Hammer blows because his gimmick is walking out with wrestling tights that feature the word peace crossed out. Whoa this match sucked. Majorly. This is a Saturday Night calibur matchup. It wasn’t even announced, so it wasn’t like revenge had anything to do with it. ½*
+CURT HENIG & BOBBY DUNCUM JR. vs. KONNAN & REY MYSTERIO JR.: This match was touted as a Rap vs. Country match. Who the fuck comes up with these ideas? The only true reason to have it was a way to introduce Master P and his No Limit soldiers into the fold. But even though Master P is this big rap producer…I’ve never heard of him or have seen ‘em. Who is this guy? Lame matchup, I hate Konnan, and Mysterio has sucked ever since he had his mask taken, now he’s a rapping hoodlum whose moves aren’t really exciting anymore. The other team, Team Country, is even lamer, though Curt Henig is pretty funny, especially his new Rap is Crap music. Horrible matchup, ppv worthy only because Master P’s involvment. *
“THE NATURE BOY” RIC FLAIR vs. “ROWDY” RODDY PIPER: This is the wheelchair rematch from Slamboree. See Flair won by cheating, but Bischoff overturned it, so both senior citizens thought they were the president. Now Ric Flair is officially the president, and on Nitro it was announced Piper is his vice-president. See, they aren’t enemies afterall, during this matchup Buff Bagwell showed up to help Piper but he got his ass beat by both men. Dull matchup, really lame. On Nitro it was said best by the Iceman Dean Malenko, the man of a thousand positions, “If someone woke up from a fifteen year coma and he saw you two (piper & flair) in the ring he’d think no time had passed.” Good job Iceman, you’ve got a pulse. *
DISCO INFERNO vs. BUFF BAGWELL: This ‘feud’ was started on Thunder. They had the weekend to build it up, but, damn it! I missed Saturday Night. Lame matchup. Disco did the Last Dance (which is Stone Cold’s stunner move) on Buff outside the ring which was cool, but Buff fucked up his finisher, The Blockbuster. Disco is hilarious…when he’s talking. I hope this dude gets an announcing job down the road. ½*
+RIC STEINER vs. STING: I had mentioned earlier that Stu is always right because he always says that Sting is stung. Sting is always stung. He really had his stinger stung Sunday night. The match was a no-holds barred matchup, meaning no disqualifications, pin falls count anywhere (ECW calls this type of match an Ultimate Death Match, but they try to build up everything). Okay match, Steiner gave Sting a piledriver on the cement which was killer. Then Steiner took Sting backstage where the cameras cut to an obviously taped segment where Scott Steiner and Tank Abbot had two doberman’s and a pitt bull attack Sting. In some of the scenes it wasn’t even Sting, it was a trainer with Sting suit, makeup, face paint, and A TOWELL AROUND HIS HAND. Yeah, I know, you can’t have the dog attack your hand without something to protect it, but Sting didn’t have shit and they cut to Sting with a towell around his hand. It’s gotten to the point in wrestling that the promoters know you know it’s fake so they don’t even try to make it look real. Funny and truly lame at the same time. I’ll give it **, but one and half of those stars are solely for the dogs, plus Ric called Baltimore, “The shittiest town.” Way to go. Fuck censorship!
+SATURN & CHRIS BENOIT vs. KANYON & DDP: The Triad is now Kanyon, DDP, and Bam Bam. Well they had the belts, lost them to Benoit & Saturn on Nitro, won them back on Nitro, lost them on Thunder, and now have them again. Jesus, does anyone give a fuck about these tag belts anymore? Give the belts to the Steiners or Harlem Heat and shut up already! And did you ever notice the luchadores are like there own wrestling organization (LWO flashback)? I mean they don’t even wrestle regular guys, just themselves, and they don’t even have storylines. I guess the match I’m supposed to be talking about must’ve been pretty lame for me to start talking about luchadores for no reason. *
+KEVIN ‘BIG SEXY’ NASH vs. “MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE: This match was officially 7 minutes long. 7 minutes!!! Do you realize how much you hyped this up and to give it merely 7 minutes of TV time!!! The fucking boring assed tag team matchup lasted near 25 minutes! This match really sucked. Macho’s women got involved, but the house really blew down when Sid Viscious showed up to everyone’s surprise. Hell, last month at ECW’s Hardcore Heaven Sid showed up to everyone’s surprise. This guy gets around. Great ending to a truly lame night. **
Well The Great American Bore is history. I’m glad it’s history. Bash at the Beach should be good with Hak/Morrus and probably Sid/Nash and I’m sure Master P and Swoll will show up, and rumors of Kevin Greene. Rodman of course will show up July 5th but only be on the Road Wild ppv. Maybe they’ll get Tank Abbot into the ring, and maybe if we’re lucky that rumored Bret Hart/Goldberg match we’ve been waiting for forever will happen. Well, statistically speaking, GAB scored a low rating in my book of a 11.1, which makes it the worst ppv of the year, way below Superbrawl’s 16.5 which had been the lowest. In stars, that’s a *1/2. How did I score? Well the record is a 75%, a solid C, which I scored at Slamboree and WWF’s Backlash. I correctly predicted 6 of 9 matches, which is a 66% and a D. This ties my Uncensored and Spring Stampede scores, but doesn’t really go near the lowest of the low, my 50% F which I scored at Wrestlemania. But it should be hard to predict the big one, right? Well don’t figure King of the Ring to produce any records, since I have to predcit a whole 8 man tournament. Expect a doozy. See ya in Greensboro in a measly 11 days.
Sunday, May 9, 1999
WCW’S SLAMBOREE
St. Louis, Missouri
Slamboree is a measly five days away, and I’m not that excited. Why? Even though the card is great, I can’t forget the past. I’ve seen the last three WCW ppv’s in their entirety and didn’t think much of them. You really have to figure in the price. The Monday Night shows usually turn out to be much, much better. UPN’s new WWF show, Smackdown, was a million times better than Backlash. This is probably due to the fact that a ppv is three hours of no commercials or interviews or backstage madness, just…wrestling. I was pumped up for Uncesnored and Spring Stampede and they more or less let me down. I wasn’t pumped up for Backlash and it still let me down. Slamboree has a few really great matchups…but after the last three ppv’s, I’m looking for a miracle. That miracle is the new, improved WCW. Last Monday because Nitro was getting beaten in the ratings by WWF, they actually had Sting win and lose the belt in one night. That was Nitro. They did it because Nitro was losing ratings. Spring Stampede did unimpressible numbers for ppv. (A 0.6 buy rate as opposed to Uncensored & Souled Out’s 0.75 and Superbrawl’s 1.2) Could this mean they make Slamboree rock? I truly hope so. Here’s hoping Scott Hall shows up, Goldberg loses, and a few surprises occur that rock WCW’s foundation. Here’s hoping it’s a show stopper.
My predictions:
NASH vs. DDP: Everyone and their mother is expecting Nash to win. This shouldn’t change the outcome. With DDP as the champ everyone is flipping the channel. Nash is a heavyweight champion, though, and this time he won’t willingly give it to Hogan. This match should be just okay. DDP is usually an entertaining wrestler, especially with his new gimmick where he tries to injure you. Nash isn’t the best, you can tell he doesn’t like to wrestle anymore. I hope Scott Hall shows up, but even if he doesn’t Nash really should win and that’s a great ending.
REY MYSTERIO JR. & KIDMAN vs. DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT vs. RAVEN & SATURN: This one internet source had stated that Kanyon was going to take Saturn’s place because of an injury. Last night on Nitro Saturn was wrestling, so I really have no idea who Raven will show up with on Sunday. It could be Hak for all I know (wouldn’t that be just killer? I’d give the show 4 stars automatically). Raven & his partner haven’t had the tag belts yet so they should definitely receive them here. The only good tag team matches as of late have involved these three teams so expect the best match of the night.
BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. BRIAN KNOBBS: This match may be the hardest to predict. Why? Well, because Bam Bam won at the last ppv, meaning at Great American Bash it would be Hak verse Bam Bam…again. This way, Knobbs can fight Hak at GAB in June. Or Bam Bam could get the obvious win because Knobbs is, well, c’mon. Does anyone think Knobbs has a chance besides me? He’s new and he already won his first hardcore match, might as well make him look like a contender. Let’s hope Knobbs shows us his real, “hardcore” side at Slamboree.
GOLDBERG vs. STING: This is yet another matchup that could go either way. Rumors say that it will be Sting who faces Nash next month in the main event in Balitmore. So you would have to figure that he beats Goldberg here to become the number one contender. Well I truly doubt Goldberg would officially lose unless a belt is on the line. Why? Well he’s only been pinned once, and since there’s no belts or anything at stake here Goldberg should prevail. Remember when Nash helped Goldberg during the DDP match? Let’s hope Nash helps Goldberg win…and Goldberg joins the Wolfpac. I hope Sting wins, though, but place your bets on ‘da man.
BUFF BAGWELL vs. BIG POPPA PUMP: This match is for the coveted U.S. Title. The only time the U.S. Title meant anything was when Raven had it and Goldberg beat him and his whole flock to retain it. Lately it’s been kicked around like the WWF’s European Title. Apparently on BPP’s web page it staes he will lose the title, so I’m not going to guess otherwise. It does make sense, since Bagwell is now good and lately he’s been pretty lame, give ‘em a belt. This match will be horrible, as Big Poppa is one of the least entertaining wrestlers in the sport…and Buff is right behind him.
KONNAN vs. STEVIE RAY: Yet another fast-forward match. Stevie Ray is fairly entertaining in the ring, but Konnan is horrible. This match could go either way, but I figure Konnan will win even though the entire black and white N.W.O. will be interfering. It would be cool if Nash came out to help Konnan against the N.W.O. like he did on Nitro.
ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs. RIC FLAIR: This match is a President Match. What the hell does that mean? Whoever wins becomes the WCW president. Expect Piper to win, because Flair has already done pretty much everything he can possibly do with his president angle. Although Piper as the president would probably be worse. I’m hoping Bischoff takes it back because he was the best. This match will be one of the worst matches you will ever witness. Why? Well, it’s a wheelchair match as well. Both are in the ring in wheelchairs, whoever knocks the other one out of the wheelchair wins. Just kidding. Or am I? The last time Piper wrestled it was against Scott Hall and it was at Superbrawl IX. It sucked. Hopefully David Flair will show up, otherwise, expect to fall fast asleep in a very, very, deeep sleeeep……
GORGEOUS GEORGE vs. REF. CHARLES ROBINSON: I really wish Charles wins, but it’s pretty much impossible. This is Macho Man’s bitch verses Ric Flair’s bitch. If GG wins than Macho Man can wrestle in WCW, if the ref wins than MM is kicked out. But what if Piper wins the presidency? That angle adds the fact that Robinson could win and MM could still be able to wrestle. This should be a very entertaining match as both don’t exactly know any moves or anything. MM should play a pivotal role, as should Arn Anderson, Flair, and the mature Medusa. This should be a hilarious, ppv worthy match.
BOOKER T. vs. RICK STEINER: The dog faced gremlin returns. This match is for the prestigious TV Title. I figure Steiner will take it from him because Dogg needs an angle desperately. The last one he had was fighting his brother which lasted too long. This match could be interesting if Scott Steiners shows up, but I doubt it. Or…Booker’s bro, Stevie Ray could help him thus re-forming the elusive Harlem Heat. That would be awesome. It would also mean the break up of the awful black and white N.W.O.
Slamboree 1999 is officially history and Nitro was…not on. The fantastically exciting NBA playoffs are forcing Nitro to be preempted until May 24th. I think it’s good for WCW to take a rest since lately it’s been receiving weekly rapings from a little organization called the WWF. Was Slamboree any good? It was a great ppv, definitely the best WCW ppv I’ve seen (I haven’t exactly seen them all, and can’t remember a lot of them). The Steiner brothers, Bischoff, and Bret Hart are back, Kevin Nash is the world champ, and Rowdy Roddy Piper is the new WCW president. It really did play out like the Wrestlemania of WCW. I’m glad they tried their hardest here, it’s really too bad they haven’t a chance against the undestructable Vincent McMahon juggernaut. It was a good night to be a WCW fan. Here’s my thoughts, my ratings, and the matches I predicted correctly are checked as follows:
+DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT vs. RAVEN & SATURN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR. & KIDMAN: I predicted this match to be the best. Was it? No, but it was up there. Raven and Saturn receive the tag team belts with the help of Kanyon who was dressed in a DDP shirt and a Sting mask (hilarious). Raven evenflows Kidman off of the top rope. The opening bout kicked things off on a very positive note. ***
+STEVIE RAY vs. KONNAN: In my predictions I called this a “fast-forward match”. It was exactly as I called it. Mysterio came out and helped Konnan get the win which at least added something. These two wrestlers really don’t have any specialty. One’s a tough Mexican, the other’s a tough black man. Matches like this make you realize why WWF is more popular. *1/2
BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. “NASTY” BRIAN KNOBBS: I’m mad at myself for picking loser Knobbs. This match really needed Hak. I’m sorry but even though it was mildly exciting, it didn’t touch Hak’s peformance at last month’s Spring Stampede. It seemed like they even fucked up the climax when Knobbs jumped over the table hitting Bam Bam on the floor after Bam Bam had moved out of the way. Knobbs is an idiot. This is the last time I ever pick him. **1/2
+RICK STEINER vs. BOOKER T.: Without a doubt, this was the official worst match of the night. Dogg is a horrible wrestler. Booker T. at least has his break dance move which made me wake up. Dogg wins the prestigious TV Title with help from his estranged brother, Scott. This match could have used…other wrestlers. *
+GORGEOUS GEORGE vs. REFEREE CHARLES ROBINSON: This match was exactly what I expected. They didn’t really do any moves, just slaps and the Jay Leno favorite, the arm twist. The surprise was how good Charles Robinson protrayed Ric Flair. He did it to a T, from the face first fall down to the flip over the top ropes, he was the nature boy for a night. All in all a semi-entertaining matchup. GG won with the big elbow, but it was only from the second rope. Macho Man is re-instated. If Ric Flair, Madusa, Asia (hilarity), Macho Man, and Ms. Madness weren’t at ringside this match wouldn’t have been as good. **1/2
BUFF BAGWELL vs. BIG POPPA PUMP: What was I thinking? Buff Bagwell with the U.S. Title? I must have been smoking crack. I think Scott “BPP” Steiner is entertaining when he talks, but his wrestling skills are straight out of Dullsville. Buff is funny…when he’s not wrestling. This equals a boring match. I’ll give it stars because Rick Steiner hits Buff’s once injured neck with a steel chair and the Steiner brothers are back! Good ending at least. *1/2
+RIC FLAIR vs. “ROWDY” RODDY PIPER: I expected this to be the worst match of the night. I even had the audacity to call this a “wheelchair” match. I said this because after watching Scott Hall and Piper bore everyone everywhere at Superbrawl IX back in February, I figured Piper couldn’t produce anything much against…Ric Flair. I must have been still high off that crack that I smoked during the last match’s prediction. Ric Flair always entertains. And with Asia, Arn Anderson…and especially with “Little Natch” Charles Robinson reffing, you hadda to expect something. Not the best match, but definitely scores points with Eric Bischoff returning to not only overturn Ric Flair’s win but to become seemingly good by shaking Piper’s hand. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper is the new WCW president. Definitely ppv worthy. **1/2
GOLDBERG vs. STING: I picked Goldberg. He didn’t win. The catch? Neither did Sting. Bret Hart showed up and beat the shit out of Goldberg with a chair, then left. If there was a clear cut winner, this match would have been a three and half star affair, or maybe a four, but I loved it when Bret Hart showed up. It came out of the clear blue, another shocking return in a night full of them. Shall I talk about the match? Classic. Sting does two stinger splashes on Goldberg, goes for a third, Goldberg spears Sting in mid-air (well okay, technically Godlberg caught him and then slammed him to the mat). A great match. I can’t wait for the return…especially if one of them carries gold to the ring. ***
+KEVIN ‘BIG SEXY’ NASH vs. DDP: This match really couldn’t have been any better. The best part? DDP diamond cuts Nash outside of the ring. They pulled a screwjob ending like the first Sting/Hogan match at Starrcade ’97. Nash powerbombs DDP and goes for the easy 1-2-3. Macho Man comes in and attacks Nash, forcing ref. Nick Patrick to call a disqualification. So DDP is still the champ, right? No. Bischoff comes out again (I guess he’s trying to gain fan support a la Vinny Mac) and overturns the ruling, forces them to keep fighting. Nash wins in three minutes. New champ. Not the best main event, but I really doubt it could have been any better. **1/2
So Slamboree is done with. It gets **1/2. It was a great show, better than any WCW ppv I’ve seen. They really pulled out all of the stops. Bischoff came back. Piper is the new prez. Macho Man is reinstated. Rick Steiner wins the TV title, turns bad and reforms the Steiner brothers. Nash becomes the world champ. Raven and Saturn become the tag team champs with the help of Kanyon. Bret Hart returns. They tried their best. I missed Hogan, Scott Hall, Jericho, and Hak, but I’m sure they’ll be at next month’s PPV from Baltimore, The Great American Bash where the rumored main event is Sting vs. Nash for the title. Also I here rumblings of Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner with Bret Hart as the special ref. I actually guessed 6 out of 8 matches. There were 9 matches but Goldberg/Sting didn’t have an outcome. I received a 75%, a C. That ties my Backlash record. I’m getting better predicting, hopefully at WWF’s Over the Edge in a short 11 days I’ll beat every record in the book. Stone Cold vs. Undertaker? I’ll have to do some hardcore studying. Until then, later.
Slamboree is a measly five days away, and I’m not that excited. Why? Even though the card is great, I can’t forget the past. I’ve seen the last three WCW ppv’s in their entirety and didn’t think much of them. You really have to figure in the price. The Monday Night shows usually turn out to be much, much better. UPN’s new WWF show, Smackdown, was a million times better than Backlash. This is probably due to the fact that a ppv is three hours of no commercials or interviews or backstage madness, just…wrestling. I was pumped up for Uncesnored and Spring Stampede and they more or less let me down. I wasn’t pumped up for Backlash and it still let me down. Slamboree has a few really great matchups…but after the last three ppv’s, I’m looking for a miracle. That miracle is the new, improved WCW. Last Monday because Nitro was getting beaten in the ratings by WWF, they actually had Sting win and lose the belt in one night. That was Nitro. They did it because Nitro was losing ratings. Spring Stampede did unimpressible numbers for ppv. (A 0.6 buy rate as opposed to Uncensored & Souled Out’s 0.75 and Superbrawl’s 1.2) Could this mean they make Slamboree rock? I truly hope so. Here’s hoping Scott Hall shows up, Goldberg loses, and a few surprises occur that rock WCW’s foundation. Here’s hoping it’s a show stopper.
My predictions:
NASH vs. DDP: Everyone and their mother is expecting Nash to win. This shouldn’t change the outcome. With DDP as the champ everyone is flipping the channel. Nash is a heavyweight champion, though, and this time he won’t willingly give it to Hogan. This match should be just okay. DDP is usually an entertaining wrestler, especially with his new gimmick where he tries to injure you. Nash isn’t the best, you can tell he doesn’t like to wrestle anymore. I hope Scott Hall shows up, but even if he doesn’t Nash really should win and that’s a great ending.
REY MYSTERIO JR. & KIDMAN vs. DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT vs. RAVEN & SATURN: This one internet source had stated that Kanyon was going to take Saturn’s place because of an injury. Last night on Nitro Saturn was wrestling, so I really have no idea who Raven will show up with on Sunday. It could be Hak for all I know (wouldn’t that be just killer? I’d give the show 4 stars automatically). Raven & his partner haven’t had the tag belts yet so they should definitely receive them here. The only good tag team matches as of late have involved these three teams so expect the best match of the night.
BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. BRIAN KNOBBS: This match may be the hardest to predict. Why? Well, because Bam Bam won at the last ppv, meaning at Great American Bash it would be Hak verse Bam Bam…again. This way, Knobbs can fight Hak at GAB in June. Or Bam Bam could get the obvious win because Knobbs is, well, c’mon. Does anyone think Knobbs has a chance besides me? He’s new and he already won his first hardcore match, might as well make him look like a contender. Let’s hope Knobbs shows us his real, “hardcore” side at Slamboree.
GOLDBERG vs. STING: This is yet another matchup that could go either way. Rumors say that it will be Sting who faces Nash next month in the main event in Balitmore. So you would have to figure that he beats Goldberg here to become the number one contender. Well I truly doubt Goldberg would officially lose unless a belt is on the line. Why? Well he’s only been pinned once, and since there’s no belts or anything at stake here Goldberg should prevail. Remember when Nash helped Goldberg during the DDP match? Let’s hope Nash helps Goldberg win…and Goldberg joins the Wolfpac. I hope Sting wins, though, but place your bets on ‘da man.
BUFF BAGWELL vs. BIG POPPA PUMP: This match is for the coveted U.S. Title. The only time the U.S. Title meant anything was when Raven had it and Goldberg beat him and his whole flock to retain it. Lately it’s been kicked around like the WWF’s European Title. Apparently on BPP’s web page it staes he will lose the title, so I’m not going to guess otherwise. It does make sense, since Bagwell is now good and lately he’s been pretty lame, give ‘em a belt. This match will be horrible, as Big Poppa is one of the least entertaining wrestlers in the sport…and Buff is right behind him.
KONNAN vs. STEVIE RAY: Yet another fast-forward match. Stevie Ray is fairly entertaining in the ring, but Konnan is horrible. This match could go either way, but I figure Konnan will win even though the entire black and white N.W.O. will be interfering. It would be cool if Nash came out to help Konnan against the N.W.O. like he did on Nitro.
ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs. RIC FLAIR: This match is a President Match. What the hell does that mean? Whoever wins becomes the WCW president. Expect Piper to win, because Flair has already done pretty much everything he can possibly do with his president angle. Although Piper as the president would probably be worse. I’m hoping Bischoff takes it back because he was the best. This match will be one of the worst matches you will ever witness. Why? Well, it’s a wheelchair match as well. Both are in the ring in wheelchairs, whoever knocks the other one out of the wheelchair wins. Just kidding. Or am I? The last time Piper wrestled it was against Scott Hall and it was at Superbrawl IX. It sucked. Hopefully David Flair will show up, otherwise, expect to fall fast asleep in a very, very, deeep sleeeep……
GORGEOUS GEORGE vs. REF. CHARLES ROBINSON: I really wish Charles wins, but it’s pretty much impossible. This is Macho Man’s bitch verses Ric Flair’s bitch. If GG wins than Macho Man can wrestle in WCW, if the ref wins than MM is kicked out. But what if Piper wins the presidency? That angle adds the fact that Robinson could win and MM could still be able to wrestle. This should be a very entertaining match as both don’t exactly know any moves or anything. MM should play a pivotal role, as should Arn Anderson, Flair, and the mature Medusa. This should be a hilarious, ppv worthy match.
BOOKER T. vs. RICK STEINER: The dog faced gremlin returns. This match is for the prestigious TV Title. I figure Steiner will take it from him because Dogg needs an angle desperately. The last one he had was fighting his brother which lasted too long. This match could be interesting if Scott Steiners shows up, but I doubt it. Or…Booker’s bro, Stevie Ray could help him thus re-forming the elusive Harlem Heat. That would be awesome. It would also mean the break up of the awful black and white N.W.O.
Slamboree 1999 is officially history and Nitro was…not on. The fantastically exciting NBA playoffs are forcing Nitro to be preempted until May 24th. I think it’s good for WCW to take a rest since lately it’s been receiving weekly rapings from a little organization called the WWF. Was Slamboree any good? It was a great ppv, definitely the best WCW ppv I’ve seen (I haven’t exactly seen them all, and can’t remember a lot of them). The Steiner brothers, Bischoff, and Bret Hart are back, Kevin Nash is the world champ, and Rowdy Roddy Piper is the new WCW president. It really did play out like the Wrestlemania of WCW. I’m glad they tried their hardest here, it’s really too bad they haven’t a chance against the undestructable Vincent McMahon juggernaut. It was a good night to be a WCW fan. Here’s my thoughts, my ratings, and the matches I predicted correctly are checked as follows:
+DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT vs. RAVEN & SATURN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR. & KIDMAN: I predicted this match to be the best. Was it? No, but it was up there. Raven and Saturn receive the tag team belts with the help of Kanyon who was dressed in a DDP shirt and a Sting mask (hilarious). Raven evenflows Kidman off of the top rope. The opening bout kicked things off on a very positive note. ***
+STEVIE RAY vs. KONNAN: In my predictions I called this a “fast-forward match”. It was exactly as I called it. Mysterio came out and helped Konnan get the win which at least added something. These two wrestlers really don’t have any specialty. One’s a tough Mexican, the other’s a tough black man. Matches like this make you realize why WWF is more popular. *1/2
BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. “NASTY” BRIAN KNOBBS: I’m mad at myself for picking loser Knobbs. This match really needed Hak. I’m sorry but even though it was mildly exciting, it didn’t touch Hak’s peformance at last month’s Spring Stampede. It seemed like they even fucked up the climax when Knobbs jumped over the table hitting Bam Bam on the floor after Bam Bam had moved out of the way. Knobbs is an idiot. This is the last time I ever pick him. **1/2
+RICK STEINER vs. BOOKER T.: Without a doubt, this was the official worst match of the night. Dogg is a horrible wrestler. Booker T. at least has his break dance move which made me wake up. Dogg wins the prestigious TV Title with help from his estranged brother, Scott. This match could have used…other wrestlers. *
+GORGEOUS GEORGE vs. REFEREE CHARLES ROBINSON: This match was exactly what I expected. They didn’t really do any moves, just slaps and the Jay Leno favorite, the arm twist. The surprise was how good Charles Robinson protrayed Ric Flair. He did it to a T, from the face first fall down to the flip over the top ropes, he was the nature boy for a night. All in all a semi-entertaining matchup. GG won with the big elbow, but it was only from the second rope. Macho Man is re-instated. If Ric Flair, Madusa, Asia (hilarity), Macho Man, and Ms. Madness weren’t at ringside this match wouldn’t have been as good. **1/2
BUFF BAGWELL vs. BIG POPPA PUMP: What was I thinking? Buff Bagwell with the U.S. Title? I must have been smoking crack. I think Scott “BPP” Steiner is entertaining when he talks, but his wrestling skills are straight out of Dullsville. Buff is funny…when he’s not wrestling. This equals a boring match. I’ll give it stars because Rick Steiner hits Buff’s once injured neck with a steel chair and the Steiner brothers are back! Good ending at least. *1/2
+RIC FLAIR vs. “ROWDY” RODDY PIPER: I expected this to be the worst match of the night. I even had the audacity to call this a “wheelchair” match. I said this because after watching Scott Hall and Piper bore everyone everywhere at Superbrawl IX back in February, I figured Piper couldn’t produce anything much against…Ric Flair. I must have been still high off that crack that I smoked during the last match’s prediction. Ric Flair always entertains. And with Asia, Arn Anderson…and especially with “Little Natch” Charles Robinson reffing, you hadda to expect something. Not the best match, but definitely scores points with Eric Bischoff returning to not only overturn Ric Flair’s win but to become seemingly good by shaking Piper’s hand. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper is the new WCW president. Definitely ppv worthy. **1/2
GOLDBERG vs. STING: I picked Goldberg. He didn’t win. The catch? Neither did Sting. Bret Hart showed up and beat the shit out of Goldberg with a chair, then left. If there was a clear cut winner, this match would have been a three and half star affair, or maybe a four, but I loved it when Bret Hart showed up. It came out of the clear blue, another shocking return in a night full of them. Shall I talk about the match? Classic. Sting does two stinger splashes on Goldberg, goes for a third, Goldberg spears Sting in mid-air (well okay, technically Godlberg caught him and then slammed him to the mat). A great match. I can’t wait for the return…especially if one of them carries gold to the ring. ***
+KEVIN ‘BIG SEXY’ NASH vs. DDP: This match really couldn’t have been any better. The best part? DDP diamond cuts Nash outside of the ring. They pulled a screwjob ending like the first Sting/Hogan match at Starrcade ’97. Nash powerbombs DDP and goes for the easy 1-2-3. Macho Man comes in and attacks Nash, forcing ref. Nick Patrick to call a disqualification. So DDP is still the champ, right? No. Bischoff comes out again (I guess he’s trying to gain fan support a la Vinny Mac) and overturns the ruling, forces them to keep fighting. Nash wins in three minutes. New champ. Not the best main event, but I really doubt it could have been any better. **1/2
So Slamboree is done with. It gets **1/2. It was a great show, better than any WCW ppv I’ve seen. They really pulled out all of the stops. Bischoff came back. Piper is the new prez. Macho Man is reinstated. Rick Steiner wins the TV title, turns bad and reforms the Steiner brothers. Nash becomes the world champ. Raven and Saturn become the tag team champs with the help of Kanyon. Bret Hart returns. They tried their best. I missed Hogan, Scott Hall, Jericho, and Hak, but I’m sure they’ll be at next month’s PPV from Baltimore, The Great American Bash where the rumored main event is Sting vs. Nash for the title. Also I here rumblings of Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner with Bret Hart as the special ref. I actually guessed 6 out of 8 matches. There were 9 matches but Goldberg/Sting didn’t have an outcome. I received a 75%, a C. That ties my Backlash record. I’m getting better predicting, hopefully at WWF’s Over the Edge in a short 11 days I’ll beat every record in the book. Stone Cold vs. Undertaker? I’ll have to do some hardcore studying. Until then, later.
Sunday, April 25, 1999
WWF’S BACKLASH
Providence, Rhode Island
Backlash comes my way in exactly 5 days. Am I pumped like a brick shithouse? Since when was a brick shithouse pumped? And whoever came up with the term brick shithouse? I’ve only seen wood. Okay, okay. Sorry. Rambling there. Backlash is an In Your House event, meaning it’s not one of the big 5 (Wrestlemania, King of the Ring, Summerslam, Survivor Series, Royal Rumble) so don’t expect much. The last IYH was of course St. Valentine’s Day Massacre which had a great cage match but that was more or less it. The Rock/Mankind Last Man Standing could have been a little better. The tag team match was good with X-Pac and HHH vs. Kane and Chyna. It was better than most WCW shows I’ve seen, but of cousre IHY’s Rock Bottom in December was pretty bad. The only good match was the Austin/Undertaker burried alive match, and even that was pretty dumb. The card here is okay, and I’m doubting the boiler room brawl is going to be as great as it’s potential. I didn’t see the first one between Undertaker and Mankind at Summerslam ’96 but Mankind has slowed down since his pinnacles at Royal Rumble and King of the Ring. I’ll hopefully be psyched when I’m on the bus home from the big phat apple, until then, here’s my predictions which are in bold typecast:
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN vs. THE ROCK: Their match at Wrestlemania could have been a lot better, but even at that it was entertaining. Problem? It was the same old, and Austin is better at entertaining than at wrestling. He’s exactly like Goldberg. Goldberg has the spear and jackhammer. Austin has the stunner and beer. I love The Rock. He’s the true champion. Expect Austin to keep the belt until King of the Ring or Summerslam where he’ll probably lose it to Triple H or The Undertaker. This match should at least be entertaining since da man, Shane, is reffing. I love Pete Gas and Rodney, members of the elite Greenwich Posse. They’ll definitely show up, and expect several stunners and at least one rock bottom and people’s elbow. Austin wouldn’t lose the title this fast because The Rock had his 15 minutes, he won’t get it back untill at least the fall.
THE BIG SHOW vs. MANKIND: This is a “boiler room brawl”, meaning they fight in the boiler room. I didn’t see the first ever boiler room brawl, but I’m pretty sure I know what it is. Expect some cool things to be setup, such as a hot water tank to pour steam on somehone, and fake pipes to be showcased as bone breakers. This has a lot of potential, but look whose wrestling here. Mankind is usally great at the ppv’s, but at Wrestlemania he was awful. Since he was awful there don’t expect much here. The Big Show Paul Wight won’t take any big falls either. Two bad wrestlers don’t equal a right. Since Wight was signed for $10 million for 10 years in the WWF don’t expect him to show up and lose to a guy half his size, it wouldn’t exactly help his ten year stay.
AL SNOW vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: When the WWF created a hardcore division they probably searched backstage for all the jobbers with a last name starting with H. I’m sure Holly was the only one. Why? So they can tack on Hardcore to the name. Bob Holly was a nobody three months ago. Now he’s a…Hardcore Champion. Oh well, it’s better than nothing. And he did win in the opening bout at Wrestlemania, that has to be pretty cool. Anyway, I picked Al Snow at Wrestlemania and he failed me, but I guarantee he’ll win here, since he hasn’t had the belt yet and no one really likes Holly except me and Stu. This should be an above average match with the hardcore element.
TRIPLE H vs. X-PAC: HHH is guaranteed a win. Why? You know the corporation is going to interfere to get the win, and Triple H is rumored to be getting the belt this year, so losing to Syx wouldn’t help his credibility. Expect a lousy match, since these two stars aren’t exaclty what I call watchable, but at least the interference by Chyna will cap off a rather bad matchup.
THE GODFATHER vs. GOLDDUST: This match is more or less a toss up as to who will win, but since da pimp just won the title I doubt he’ll lose it. Titles become useless when they exchange hands too much. (WCW: watch yourself with this rule. Sure, Goldberg did have the belt from June to December ’98, but at back to back ppv’s the belt changed (Uncensored: Ric Flair got it then lost it to DDP at Spring Stampede and it’s highly rumored that Nash will win it at Slamboree) hands) The Godfather is a horrible wrestler but a great showman, which pretty much defines the WWF. Bad wrestlers, great showmen. Golddust is really dumb, I’m surprised WWF has kept him this long, no one gives a shit about him and never will. Godfather is crowd friendly so there you go. Expect a truly horrible matchup, though with it being a ppv maybe the ho’s will do something elaborate.
THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. JJ & OWEN HART: This tag team matchup will determine who the number one contender will be. Obviously Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart won’t win, they had the titles for a short while and tarnished the already horribly tarnished belts. This match should really suck, showing that I hate both teams. The more I write these the more I’m realizing I hate a good majority of WWF wrestlers. Here’s hoping Backlash changes my mind and kicks more ass than Wrestlemania.
THE UNDERTAKER vs. KEN SHAMROCK: I really thought something big with the Ministry and McMahon’s daughter was going to happen at Wrestlemania…but it didn’t. They’ve dragged this shit out long enough. At least turn Ryan Shamrock into a Ministry slave or something. I hope this match doesn’t suck as much as the hell in the cell did last month. God that was awful. And to think, Big Bossman was hung and is still wrestles. Unbelievable. This match has potential, and should entertain. I hope they do something cool because otherwise this match could travel staright into Dullsville.
THE BROOD vs. THE ACOLYTES & MIDIAN: I don’t even know if this match is happening, but who cares I heard it was. The Brood at least has a cool opening. The Acolytes and Midian suck. This match probably will blow. The Brood should win, though.
Well Backlash is over and done with and Raw let us know that Stephanie McMahon is once again safe and The Rock is out of the corporation and now a fan favorite. Why couldn’t they have kicked The Rock out of the corporation at Backlash? It would have made up a lot of steam for a rather dull night. Granted, the boiler room brawl and the main event were great, the rest was horrible. Truly, badly horrible. The WWF and WCW really put on better shows Monday Night than they do on Sunday, which is ridiculous because people pay thirty big ones. If I had paid $30 for Backlash I’d want answers. Anyway, here’s my thoughts on each of the matches, with the winners underlined and my correct predictions +ed.
THE BROOD vs. MIDIAN & THE ACOLYTES: I missed Sunday Night Heat, but apparently after that hour the audience didn’t give two shits about this horrible matchup. I swear to God, the Providence Civic Center was bone quiet during this match. With good reason I may add. The only reason I can gather that The Brood lost was because if the Ministry dudes had been defeated than The Undertaker would have had to have an elaborate punishment on Raw or something and McMahon knows those don’t exactly draw ratings. This match was really, really, really boring. Raw has 36 minutes of wrestling. PPV’s have around 150. That’s the biggest reason I can see as to why Backlash fell flat. *
+AL SNOW vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: This hardcore match didn’t have much impact when comparing it to the destructive Boiler Room Brawl later in the broadcast. You could obviously tell they only had 8 matches as opposed to the 10 for Wrestlemania, so a few matches had to fill more time than usual. This match was long but at least entertaining. They went outside and it was more or less the same shit but better than the Wrestlemania hardcore match which didn’t even leave ring side. Al Snow won the belt, so either await a rematch at Over the Edge or forget about ever seeing Hardcore Holly again. **1/2
+THE GODFATHER vs. GOLDDUST: I didn’t expect much and I didn’t receive much. This match was more or less Raw or Sunday Night Heat calibur. Nothing special for the ppv. It’s okay for me because Backlash was more or less free, but don’t they realize people are paying $30 bucks for this shit, you’d better make it much better than what you clowns show on Monday Night (last nights Nitro doesn’t count, it was an obvious attempt to destroy Raw, and it should’ve worked because that Nitro was better than any ppv I’ve seen so far this year ). Godfather wins obviously. He’ll have the title for awhile I’m guessing. It’s really okay that he can’t wrestle because everyone is looking at his ho’s anyway. Last night on Raw JR cracked me up when he mentioned Owen Hart was taking Deborah away from the ring and The Godfather, “Hart is taking her to ho-less ground.” The best line in a long, long, long, looooong time. Too bad it wasn’t on Backlash. *1/2
+THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. JEFF JARRETT & OWEN HART: This match I knew would blow, and it did. Of course The New Age Outlaws win and become the number one contenders. Deborah came out sporting a great outfit, but other than that the match was pretty bad forgettable. *
PAUL “THE BIG SHOW” WIGHT vs. MANKIND: About on par with the main event, and definitely ppv worthy, this match blew my expectations out of the water. Why you say? Well I had pretty low expectations for this match. Remember their match at Wrestlemania? That was the worst. Mankind took another beating this time around, and it seems the more he gets beat up the better the match. I could go so far as to call this a classic. The best part was when Giant chokeslammed Mankind through two tables covered with glass windows. Wow. Great ending with the bloody and battered crawling Mankind winning only to be attacked. ***
+X-PAC vs. TRIPLE H: This “revenge” match was pretty dull. The more and more I think about it the more and more I hate the majority of WWF wrestlers. I like Mankind, The Rock, Shane, and Austin is okay. The rest suck, though. This match was basic. Nothing exciting until the lights dimmed and Kane came out. I got excited then but the rest was boring and lifeless. **
+THE UNDERTAKER vs. KEN SHAMROCK: For all that The Undertaker does on Raw and Sunday Night Heat, he’ll show up and bore you to death in the ring at the ppv’s. Okay, his finishing move is killer, but last night on Nitro Sting and DDP exchanged tombstones several times. I guess you had to see it to believe it, but that’s just the fucking point. You didn’t have to see most of Backlash’s matches. They all sucked except for the exceptional two. Maybe if Nitro had sucked last night I would have praised WWF, but Backlash was really disappointing. This match could have been better. Ken’s sis, Ryan, didn’t even show up. *
+THE ROCK vs. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN: This is the last time you’ll see the “corporate” Rock. Now he’s back to being the people’s hero. This match was better than the one at Wrestlemania only because Vince knocked out Shane with the Smokin’ Skull belt. Both matches were more or less exactly the same, only difference is we didn’t see a corporate elbow, that would have made this match awesome. Another classic move was when The Rock grabbed the video camera and gave Austin the finger while filming him, then Austin gave him a stunner on the announce table while he was holding the camera. You had to see it to believe it. Great finale to a rather bland night in the WWF. ***
There you go. WWF’s Backlash is history, without really any major happenings. They waited for RAW to showcase most of the happenings, but the Undertaker’s abduction of Stephanie was a rather cool end cap. I predicted 6 out of 8 mathes correctly. Nobody figured The Brood would lose, but I guess I’m a moron for figuring Mankind would lose. Giant is going to have a hard road through the WWF. Yeah he’s big, but he sucks. He’s lost two big profile matches already. 6 out of 8 is 75%, a C. That’s my record so far, Backlash truly didn’t surprise many I gather, or I’m just a genius. Totally I’ll give Backlash ** because really it only had two watchable matches, though they were great matches. Over the Edge supposedly will feature The Undertaker, who he faces is a mystery, but it could be Austin. Apparently it’s confirmed that The Big Show and Austin will lock horns at King of the Ring, but as for OTE we’ll just have to wait.
Backlash comes my way in exactly 5 days. Am I pumped like a brick shithouse? Since when was a brick shithouse pumped? And whoever came up with the term brick shithouse? I’ve only seen wood. Okay, okay. Sorry. Rambling there. Backlash is an In Your House event, meaning it’s not one of the big 5 (Wrestlemania, King of the Ring, Summerslam, Survivor Series, Royal Rumble) so don’t expect much. The last IYH was of course St. Valentine’s Day Massacre which had a great cage match but that was more or less it. The Rock/Mankind Last Man Standing could have been a little better. The tag team match was good with X-Pac and HHH vs. Kane and Chyna. It was better than most WCW shows I’ve seen, but of cousre IHY’s Rock Bottom in December was pretty bad. The only good match was the Austin/Undertaker burried alive match, and even that was pretty dumb. The card here is okay, and I’m doubting the boiler room brawl is going to be as great as it’s potential. I didn’t see the first one between Undertaker and Mankind at Summerslam ’96 but Mankind has slowed down since his pinnacles at Royal Rumble and King of the Ring. I’ll hopefully be psyched when I’m on the bus home from the big phat apple, until then, here’s my predictions which are in bold typecast:
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN vs. THE ROCK: Their match at Wrestlemania could have been a lot better, but even at that it was entertaining. Problem? It was the same old, and Austin is better at entertaining than at wrestling. He’s exactly like Goldberg. Goldberg has the spear and jackhammer. Austin has the stunner and beer. I love The Rock. He’s the true champion. Expect Austin to keep the belt until King of the Ring or Summerslam where he’ll probably lose it to Triple H or The Undertaker. This match should at least be entertaining since da man, Shane, is reffing. I love Pete Gas and Rodney, members of the elite Greenwich Posse. They’ll definitely show up, and expect several stunners and at least one rock bottom and people’s elbow. Austin wouldn’t lose the title this fast because The Rock had his 15 minutes, he won’t get it back untill at least the fall.
THE BIG SHOW vs. MANKIND: This is a “boiler room brawl”, meaning they fight in the boiler room. I didn’t see the first ever boiler room brawl, but I’m pretty sure I know what it is. Expect some cool things to be setup, such as a hot water tank to pour steam on somehone, and fake pipes to be showcased as bone breakers. This has a lot of potential, but look whose wrestling here. Mankind is usally great at the ppv’s, but at Wrestlemania he was awful. Since he was awful there don’t expect much here. The Big Show Paul Wight won’t take any big falls either. Two bad wrestlers don’t equal a right. Since Wight was signed for $10 million for 10 years in the WWF don’t expect him to show up and lose to a guy half his size, it wouldn’t exactly help his ten year stay.
AL SNOW vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: When the WWF created a hardcore division they probably searched backstage for all the jobbers with a last name starting with H. I’m sure Holly was the only one. Why? So they can tack on Hardcore to the name. Bob Holly was a nobody three months ago. Now he’s a…Hardcore Champion. Oh well, it’s better than nothing. And he did win in the opening bout at Wrestlemania, that has to be pretty cool. Anyway, I picked Al Snow at Wrestlemania and he failed me, but I guarantee he’ll win here, since he hasn’t had the belt yet and no one really likes Holly except me and Stu. This should be an above average match with the hardcore element.
TRIPLE H vs. X-PAC: HHH is guaranteed a win. Why? You know the corporation is going to interfere to get the win, and Triple H is rumored to be getting the belt this year, so losing to Syx wouldn’t help his credibility. Expect a lousy match, since these two stars aren’t exaclty what I call watchable, but at least the interference by Chyna will cap off a rather bad matchup.
THE GODFATHER vs. GOLDDUST: This match is more or less a toss up as to who will win, but since da pimp just won the title I doubt he’ll lose it. Titles become useless when they exchange hands too much. (WCW: watch yourself with this rule. Sure, Goldberg did have the belt from June to December ’98, but at back to back ppv’s the belt changed (Uncensored: Ric Flair got it then lost it to DDP at Spring Stampede and it’s highly rumored that Nash will win it at Slamboree) hands) The Godfather is a horrible wrestler but a great showman, which pretty much defines the WWF. Bad wrestlers, great showmen. Golddust is really dumb, I’m surprised WWF has kept him this long, no one gives a shit about him and never will. Godfather is crowd friendly so there you go. Expect a truly horrible matchup, though with it being a ppv maybe the ho’s will do something elaborate.
THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. JJ & OWEN HART: This tag team matchup will determine who the number one contender will be. Obviously Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart won’t win, they had the titles for a short while and tarnished the already horribly tarnished belts. This match should really suck, showing that I hate both teams. The more I write these the more I’m realizing I hate a good majority of WWF wrestlers. Here’s hoping Backlash changes my mind and kicks more ass than Wrestlemania.
THE UNDERTAKER vs. KEN SHAMROCK: I really thought something big with the Ministry and McMahon’s daughter was going to happen at Wrestlemania…but it didn’t. They’ve dragged this shit out long enough. At least turn Ryan Shamrock into a Ministry slave or something. I hope this match doesn’t suck as much as the hell in the cell did last month. God that was awful. And to think, Big Bossman was hung and is still wrestles. Unbelievable. This match has potential, and should entertain. I hope they do something cool because otherwise this match could travel staright into Dullsville.
THE BROOD vs. THE ACOLYTES & MIDIAN: I don’t even know if this match is happening, but who cares I heard it was. The Brood at least has a cool opening. The Acolytes and Midian suck. This match probably will blow. The Brood should win, though.
Well Backlash is over and done with and Raw let us know that Stephanie McMahon is once again safe and The Rock is out of the corporation and now a fan favorite. Why couldn’t they have kicked The Rock out of the corporation at Backlash? It would have made up a lot of steam for a rather dull night. Granted, the boiler room brawl and the main event were great, the rest was horrible. Truly, badly horrible. The WWF and WCW really put on better shows Monday Night than they do on Sunday, which is ridiculous because people pay thirty big ones. If I had paid $30 for Backlash I’d want answers. Anyway, here’s my thoughts on each of the matches, with the winners underlined and my correct predictions +ed.
THE BROOD vs. MIDIAN & THE ACOLYTES: I missed Sunday Night Heat, but apparently after that hour the audience didn’t give two shits about this horrible matchup. I swear to God, the Providence Civic Center was bone quiet during this match. With good reason I may add. The only reason I can gather that The Brood lost was because if the Ministry dudes had been defeated than The Undertaker would have had to have an elaborate punishment on Raw or something and McMahon knows those don’t exactly draw ratings. This match was really, really, really boring. Raw has 36 minutes of wrestling. PPV’s have around 150. That’s the biggest reason I can see as to why Backlash fell flat. *
+AL SNOW vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: This hardcore match didn’t have much impact when comparing it to the destructive Boiler Room Brawl later in the broadcast. You could obviously tell they only had 8 matches as opposed to the 10 for Wrestlemania, so a few matches had to fill more time than usual. This match was long but at least entertaining. They went outside and it was more or less the same shit but better than the Wrestlemania hardcore match which didn’t even leave ring side. Al Snow won the belt, so either await a rematch at Over the Edge or forget about ever seeing Hardcore Holly again. **1/2
+THE GODFATHER vs. GOLDDUST: I didn’t expect much and I didn’t receive much. This match was more or less Raw or Sunday Night Heat calibur. Nothing special for the ppv. It’s okay for me because Backlash was more or less free, but don’t they realize people are paying $30 bucks for this shit, you’d better make it much better than what you clowns show on Monday Night (last nights Nitro doesn’t count, it was an obvious attempt to destroy Raw, and it should’ve worked because that Nitro was better than any ppv I’ve seen so far this year ). Godfather wins obviously. He’ll have the title for awhile I’m guessing. It’s really okay that he can’t wrestle because everyone is looking at his ho’s anyway. Last night on Raw JR cracked me up when he mentioned Owen Hart was taking Deborah away from the ring and The Godfather, “Hart is taking her to ho-less ground.” The best line in a long, long, long, looooong time. Too bad it wasn’t on Backlash. *1/2
+THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. JEFF JARRETT & OWEN HART: This match I knew would blow, and it did. Of course The New Age Outlaws win and become the number one contenders. Deborah came out sporting a great outfit, but other than that the match was pretty bad forgettable. *
PAUL “THE BIG SHOW” WIGHT vs. MANKIND: About on par with the main event, and definitely ppv worthy, this match blew my expectations out of the water. Why you say? Well I had pretty low expectations for this match. Remember their match at Wrestlemania? That was the worst. Mankind took another beating this time around, and it seems the more he gets beat up the better the match. I could go so far as to call this a classic. The best part was when Giant chokeslammed Mankind through two tables covered with glass windows. Wow. Great ending with the bloody and battered crawling Mankind winning only to be attacked. ***
+X-PAC vs. TRIPLE H: This “revenge” match was pretty dull. The more and more I think about it the more and more I hate the majority of WWF wrestlers. I like Mankind, The Rock, Shane, and Austin is okay. The rest suck, though. This match was basic. Nothing exciting until the lights dimmed and Kane came out. I got excited then but the rest was boring and lifeless. **
+THE UNDERTAKER vs. KEN SHAMROCK: For all that The Undertaker does on Raw and Sunday Night Heat, he’ll show up and bore you to death in the ring at the ppv’s. Okay, his finishing move is killer, but last night on Nitro Sting and DDP exchanged tombstones several times. I guess you had to see it to believe it, but that’s just the fucking point. You didn’t have to see most of Backlash’s matches. They all sucked except for the exceptional two. Maybe if Nitro had sucked last night I would have praised WWF, but Backlash was really disappointing. This match could have been better. Ken’s sis, Ryan, didn’t even show up. *
+THE ROCK vs. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN: This is the last time you’ll see the “corporate” Rock. Now he’s back to being the people’s hero. This match was better than the one at Wrestlemania only because Vince knocked out Shane with the Smokin’ Skull belt. Both matches were more or less exactly the same, only difference is we didn’t see a corporate elbow, that would have made this match awesome. Another classic move was when The Rock grabbed the video camera and gave Austin the finger while filming him, then Austin gave him a stunner on the announce table while he was holding the camera. You had to see it to believe it. Great finale to a rather bland night in the WWF. ***
There you go. WWF’s Backlash is history, without really any major happenings. They waited for RAW to showcase most of the happenings, but the Undertaker’s abduction of Stephanie was a rather cool end cap. I predicted 6 out of 8 mathes correctly. Nobody figured The Brood would lose, but I guess I’m a moron for figuring Mankind would lose. Giant is going to have a hard road through the WWF. Yeah he’s big, but he sucks. He’s lost two big profile matches already. 6 out of 8 is 75%, a C. That’s my record so far, Backlash truly didn’t surprise many I gather, or I’m just a genius. Totally I’ll give Backlash ** because really it only had two watchable matches, though they were great matches. Over the Edge supposedly will feature The Undertaker, who he faces is a mystery, but it could be Austin. Apparently it’s confirmed that The Big Show and Austin will lock horns at King of the Ring, but as for OTE we’ll just have to wait.
Sunday, April 11, 1999
WCW’s SPRING STAMPEDE
Tacoma, Washington
I had mentioned previously that Spring Stampede probably won’t be any better than Uncensored, which rose above the pack somewhat because of the humorous stipulations and the triple threat ECW matchup. Surprisingly, Spring Stampede has a GREAT card. Is it as good as Uncensored’s? Yes! That card had the triple threat matchup and the cage match, which we all now know turned out to be…er, less than great. This time we’ve got four, count ‘em, FOUR, killer matchups: The Four Way Dance, Hak and Bam Bam, The Horsemen vs. The New Flock, and Goldberg takes revenge on Nash. Wow. These matches really should not disappoint, unless Hogan wins the belt again, which at least wouldn’t be as bad as Ric Flair retaining it. I’d love to see Sting take it, or even DDP though if he wins than how many times did he suck Bischoff’s cock? Anyways, heres my awesome predictions, which I really sucked at last time around (Wrestlemania) so hopefully we’ll get a B or even an A. Here goes somethin’:
MICKEY WHIPWRECK vs. SCOTTY RIGGS: Talk about being a “filler” match and a half. This is the sort of match seen on WCW Saturday Night. I like Whipwreck (former ECW star) and Riggs lives up the street, but he’s not in the flock anymore. Where has Riggs been? I haven’t seen the dude in months. I wonder if he’ll still have that patch over his eye. This match has potential because Whipwreck at least tries. I’ll take Riggs on this one, though, because he’s a big dude and losing to this street punk won’t help his pseudo “return” any.
DISCO INFERNO vs. KONANN: Disco Inferno is hilarious, and he’s proven this time and time again ever since the bookers gave him a mild push and let him run with the ‘Pac. Konann I’ve never liked. I could stand him when he was in the ring with Nash, Luger, and Sting, but now, well, no way Jose. Here’s hoping Disco wins with a screwjob ending to make the night a little unpredictable.
JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. BLITZKREIG: Are you fucking kidding me? And I said SS had a good card. Juvenjuice is a high flying wrestler but this is a ppv, we want stars…stars goddammit! And who is this Blitzkreig dude, I think he was on Thunder yesterday facing Super Calo. I don’t really enjoy these Luchadores, though Eddie Guerrera is a good wrestler and that L.W.O. “party” was one of the funnier Nitro bits. I’ll take Guerrera on this one because Blitzwho?Kreig sucks.
HAK vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW: This match has a lot (we’re talkin’ lot) of potential, but of course it could go either way. Hak was kind’ve boring against Whipwreck on Thunder last night, so maybe this match won’t be any good, on the other hand this is a ppv, expect tables, chairs, Chastity, and that kendo stick to figure prominently into the match. I hope this is a worthy of ECW classic with blood and everything. Hell, a guy can wish right? Hak won last month so I’ll take the Beast from the East.
RAVEN & SATURN vs. DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT: Raven is my favorite WCW wrestler, and with Saturn they form the best tag team since The Outsiders. When the New Flock fought Mysterio and Kidman on Monday’s Nitro for the belts it was one of the best fights in WCW history. It was awesome, baby! The energy was so high and the moves so destructive. Wow. Dean Malenko blows but Chris Benoit is a high energy dude, expect this match to be a doozy, one of the best of the night if not the best. Of course being that no belts are at stake, expect the New Flock to take the win.
KIDMAN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR.: Kidman and Mysterio are a great tag team, so fighting solo should still turn out to be pretty cool. Expect Mysterio to win because he just won the Cruiserweight title from Kidman and Kidman had it for six months or something ridiculous. This should be one of the better matches, clean cut with no screwjob endings. Expect their high flying maneuvers to be a tad higher for the ppv.
KEVIN NASH vs. GOLDBERG: This is going to be a great match. Remember when the two fought at Starcade? That was a decent match, but this one should be better. Although Nash hasn’t been the best wrestler as of late, Goldberg and him should provide enough star power to make it look like it’s fucking awesome. I really hope Scott Hall makes an appearance but don’t bet on it. I’m going to have to take Goldberg on this one, I really think Sting is the only one who can beat him without cheating. I doubt Nash would win by cheating, that was already done at Starcade. This should be a knockdown, drag out slugfest though. Expect a spear and powerbomb. Trust me on this one, sweet prince.
BOOKER T. vs. SCOTT STEINER: This is for the U.S. Title. Can we say Bore-A-Thon 90000? Yes we can. Booker T is a high flying, great, entertaining wrestler. I can’t say the same thing for Scotty Steiner. He’s good at the mike and with Buff, but now that Buff is gone, well…his wrestling is boring. I’m sorry but it is. If Buff or Jericho interfere somehow than maybe…maybe this match could be decent, but I’m guessing it could turn out to be worst of the night. At least Barry Windham and Roddy Piper aren’t fighting eachother in a wheelchair match. Alas, doesn’t Booker T have the TV Title? So it’s obvious Steiner will win.
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN vs. RIC FLAIR vs. DDP vs. STING: With Macho Man as the special guest referee, you’ve got the best main event at least since Starcade. I don’t know what part Macho will play in this, but I really expect Sting to win. I can honestly picture Hogan winning, but he just had the belt, don’t ruin it. Ric Flair wouldn’t retain it because no fan likes him bad or good with the belt, and DDP isn’t really that popular to get the big belt. Sting, on the other hand, shows up out of the blue. I’m guessing Sting will get it with the help of Macho. Or it could be Hogan with the help of Macho. Or Macho could get the belt, which wouldn’t exactly work out. Still, on Monday the fatal four way between Hogan, Flair, Goldberg, and DDP was pretty good, this one should last a half hour and be awesome. I’m guessing it won’t be as good as I’m expecting, but with Macho back I’m happy enough. Here’s hoping it’s a great PPV!!
Well Monday Nitro comes my way from the big far away state of Washington in less than two hours time. I watched the Encore of Spring Stampede because I saw Shakespeare in Love. Best Picture? I don’t think so. Best part about it were Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow’s breasts. She only won because she’s hot, trust me. So was SS any good? The same old shit, about on calibur with Superbrawl, though at least SS had the best WCW ppv match in a long, long, long, looooong, loooooooong, loooooooong time. Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow redefined WCW as the hardcore king. This match was fucking awesome. Too bad I can’t say that for any other match. The fatal four way dance was just okay. Hogan leaving was a surprise, and DDP taking the win was a great move. The more I think about it the more I like it. Why give it to the others…been there, done that. DDP I like, though. His move is awesome. Don’t expect him to hold it for long. Rumors circulating say he’ll lose it to Nash at Slamboree May 9th. The matches I predicted are + checked and winners underlined.
+BLITZKRIEG vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA: This match was Thunder or even Saturday Night calibur, but I guess they have to put these nobodies on the ppv to fill up time. I’m still surprised that Halloween Havoc went over three hours. How many fucking matches did they have on that? I’ll tell you they weren’t very memorable. This match was basic Luchadore action. The top rope juvi-driver was cool, but nothing like Bam Bam’s Greetings From Asbury Park on Hak from the top rope through a table. Both moves are the same and Juvenjuice’s assault looks wimpy compared to the hardcore style. This match was entertaining, but nothing cool happened. Basic, a few good moves, easily forgettable. **1/2 (out of ****)
+HAK vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW: Last month at Uncensored the three ECW stars assembled in a harcore no-holds-barred match that I predicted to be awesome. It was good, but nothing like this matchup. Hak is now my favorite wrestler, besting Raven. ECW style minus the blood, this had it all. It started out with Hak laying Bam Bam on a table near the SS set which included hay and a Western-style Carriage minus the horses. Hak climbed on top of the carriage, jumped, flipped in mid-air landing on Bam Bam and the table. Holy shit this jump started SS like a wildfire. I had visions of this being the greatest PPV in history! Fuck WWF I said during this matchup! They get to the ring, and it sort of plays out like last month’s triple threat match, but Hak knew it was a ppv and he proved himself. He pulled a full size ladder (not that wimpy small fake steel one Goldberg and Scott Hall used at Souled Out) out from under the ring and I knew this was it. He also laid a table from the ring to the audience guardrail ECW-style. Hak really had the shit beat out of him during this matchup. Bam Bam sprayed Chastity (who was wearing sexy thigh highs) and did his move through a table from the top rope on Hak. The best match I’ve seen in years. The only thing that Hak could have done was wrap the barb wire around himself and jump on Bam Bam through a table. And they could have had blood, but I understand WCW. ***1/2
+SCOTTY RIGGS vs. MIKEY WHIPWRECK: After Hak and Bam Bam delivered the reasons I watch wrestling, this borefest showed up. Did anyone expect any less? At least Juvenjuice and Blitzkrieg jumped around. Riggs sucks now that the flock is over. He has a cheap new gimmick that Lex Luger used years ago in the WWF. Riggs walks to the ring with a mirror, he thinks he’s the best looking man in wrestling. Whipwreck just doesn’t have a gimmick period. He’s just a wrestler. He’s only wrestled like three times or something ridiculous. This match was horrible. The crowd said it best when the chanted BORING! for a good minute. –NO STARS-
DISCO INFERNO vs. KONANN: I didn’t expect much from this match and I didn’t get anything out of it. Disco didn’t even do anything funny expect show up in that outfit. Konann did Stone Cold’s move on Disco which is actually Disco’s own move. Wow. *
+KIDMAN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR.: The reasons WCW booked this match was because they knew these two will always put on a good show. Problem this time around is the fact that it’s getting old. These two just fought two weeks ago or something. And thing is, that match was the exact same as this. Wow, Kidman suffers from two bulldogs off of the top rope instead of one. Still, these two do entertain, I just wished WCW would have something different for a change. DDP winning definitely was a change. This wasn’t. **1/2
RAVEN & SATURN vs. DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT: They really should have made the Hak/Bam Bam match the main event. Because after that match I had such high expectations for this ppv and they were all shattered. This match had potential because Raven and Saturn are a great tag team, they had one of the better matches in WCW history last Nitro when they lost to Mysterio and Kidman. This match was above average, but nothing special enough to give it oomph. I liked Benoit’s real blood at the end when he was leaving, but when the best part of a match has nothing to do with the match itself then maybe there’s something awry. **1/2
+BIG POPPA PUMP vs. BOOKET T.: Booker T. already has the goddamn TV Title, who in their right mind figured he’d win the U.S. belt too? Apparently no one. Scott Steiner really needs his old partner back, he’s an awful wrestler solo. Meaning he’s boring. Booker T. doesn’t do anything for me. Not sexually, asshole. He doesn’t entertain me, much. I think Stevie Ray’s funny at least. Without Buff, Steiner is drowning. *
+GOLDBERG vs. KEVIN NASH: Maybe it’s me, but Goldberg just isn’t as exciting as he once was. When he used to spear people it meant something. Now he’s sort’ve getting old. He’s getting better at the mic which is good but he still needs to work on his wrestling. It seems like he uses the same moves: kick to the face, spear, jackhammer, etc. etc. etc. He doesn’t get on the top rope. And Nash didn’t exactly help. He really should have powerbombed him and Goldberg would only get a 2 count. Starcade match was much better. **1/2
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN vs. RIC FLAIR vs. DDP vs. STING: I think everyone in the world believed that either Hogan or Sting would get the belt. When Hogan left after his knee injury I knew Sting would leave with the belt. He’s so damn popular. Ric Flair isn’t going to retain the belt. No one likes him good or bad. DDP? Last time he was on a ppv he got his ass kicked by Big Poppa Pump. He’s not heavyweight material, is he? Apparently so. Rumors were flying that the WCW wrestlers in general were mad that Sting was gone for so long he shouldn’t be allowed to just show up and the next week he gets to be champ. So DDP (a WCW booker) gets to be the WCW Heavyweight Champion for the first time. At first I was like, “Him?”, but after a nice sleep I think it’s a great decision. Why give it to Sting…again. Ric Flair’s been the champ for long enough. So has Hogan. DDP is a great champ. I really hope he doesn’t lose it to Nash next month at Slamboree. I really hopes he keeps it at least until The Great American Bash or Bash at the Beach. The belt was just changed the past two ppvs, WCW isn’t that desperate for ratings are they? This match could have been a lot better, but the two surprises were good ppv tools (Hogan’s injury, DDP’s win). This is great fuel for Nitro. **1/2
All in all SS could have been much, much, much better. Of course I’ve been saying this since I’ve gotten the box. I even thought Wrestlemania could have been better. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations. The Hak/Bam Bam match elevated this ppv but all in all I’ll settle for **. In my predictions, I guessed 6 out of 9, which is a 66 and a D. It’s what I predicted at Uncensored. At Backlash I will predict 100% guaranteed, or not. See for yourself in a lucky 13 days.
I had mentioned previously that Spring Stampede probably won’t be any better than Uncensored, which rose above the pack somewhat because of the humorous stipulations and the triple threat ECW matchup. Surprisingly, Spring Stampede has a GREAT card. Is it as good as Uncensored’s? Yes! That card had the triple threat matchup and the cage match, which we all now know turned out to be…er, less than great. This time we’ve got four, count ‘em, FOUR, killer matchups: The Four Way Dance, Hak and Bam Bam, The Horsemen vs. The New Flock, and Goldberg takes revenge on Nash. Wow. These matches really should not disappoint, unless Hogan wins the belt again, which at least wouldn’t be as bad as Ric Flair retaining it. I’d love to see Sting take it, or even DDP though if he wins than how many times did he suck Bischoff’s cock? Anyways, heres my awesome predictions, which I really sucked at last time around (Wrestlemania) so hopefully we’ll get a B or even an A. Here goes somethin’:
MICKEY WHIPWRECK vs. SCOTTY RIGGS: Talk about being a “filler” match and a half. This is the sort of match seen on WCW Saturday Night. I like Whipwreck (former ECW star) and Riggs lives up the street, but he’s not in the flock anymore. Where has Riggs been? I haven’t seen the dude in months. I wonder if he’ll still have that patch over his eye. This match has potential because Whipwreck at least tries. I’ll take Riggs on this one, though, because he’s a big dude and losing to this street punk won’t help his pseudo “return” any.
DISCO INFERNO vs. KONANN: Disco Inferno is hilarious, and he’s proven this time and time again ever since the bookers gave him a mild push and let him run with the ‘Pac. Konann I’ve never liked. I could stand him when he was in the ring with Nash, Luger, and Sting, but now, well, no way Jose. Here’s hoping Disco wins with a screwjob ending to make the night a little unpredictable.
JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. BLITZKREIG: Are you fucking kidding me? And I said SS had a good card. Juvenjuice is a high flying wrestler but this is a ppv, we want stars…stars goddammit! And who is this Blitzkreig dude, I think he was on Thunder yesterday facing Super Calo. I don’t really enjoy these Luchadores, though Eddie Guerrera is a good wrestler and that L.W.O. “party” was one of the funnier Nitro bits. I’ll take Guerrera on this one because Blitzwho?Kreig sucks.
HAK vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW: This match has a lot (we’re talkin’ lot) of potential, but of course it could go either way. Hak was kind’ve boring against Whipwreck on Thunder last night, so maybe this match won’t be any good, on the other hand this is a ppv, expect tables, chairs, Chastity, and that kendo stick to figure prominently into the match. I hope this is a worthy of ECW classic with blood and everything. Hell, a guy can wish right? Hak won last month so I’ll take the Beast from the East.
RAVEN & SATURN vs. DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT: Raven is my favorite WCW wrestler, and with Saturn they form the best tag team since The Outsiders. When the New Flock fought Mysterio and Kidman on Monday’s Nitro for the belts it was one of the best fights in WCW history. It was awesome, baby! The energy was so high and the moves so destructive. Wow. Dean Malenko blows but Chris Benoit is a high energy dude, expect this match to be a doozy, one of the best of the night if not the best. Of course being that no belts are at stake, expect the New Flock to take the win.
KIDMAN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR.: Kidman and Mysterio are a great tag team, so fighting solo should still turn out to be pretty cool. Expect Mysterio to win because he just won the Cruiserweight title from Kidman and Kidman had it for six months or something ridiculous. This should be one of the better matches, clean cut with no screwjob endings. Expect their high flying maneuvers to be a tad higher for the ppv.
KEVIN NASH vs. GOLDBERG: This is going to be a great match. Remember when the two fought at Starcade? That was a decent match, but this one should be better. Although Nash hasn’t been the best wrestler as of late, Goldberg and him should provide enough star power to make it look like it’s fucking awesome. I really hope Scott Hall makes an appearance but don’t bet on it. I’m going to have to take Goldberg on this one, I really think Sting is the only one who can beat him without cheating. I doubt Nash would win by cheating, that was already done at Starcade. This should be a knockdown, drag out slugfest though. Expect a spear and powerbomb. Trust me on this one, sweet prince.
BOOKER T. vs. SCOTT STEINER: This is for the U.S. Title. Can we say Bore-A-Thon 90000? Yes we can. Booker T is a high flying, great, entertaining wrestler. I can’t say the same thing for Scotty Steiner. He’s good at the mike and with Buff, but now that Buff is gone, well…his wrestling is boring. I’m sorry but it is. If Buff or Jericho interfere somehow than maybe…maybe this match could be decent, but I’m guessing it could turn out to be worst of the night. At least Barry Windham and Roddy Piper aren’t fighting eachother in a wheelchair match. Alas, doesn’t Booker T have the TV Title? So it’s obvious Steiner will win.
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN vs. RIC FLAIR vs. DDP vs. STING: With Macho Man as the special guest referee, you’ve got the best main event at least since Starcade. I don’t know what part Macho will play in this, but I really expect Sting to win. I can honestly picture Hogan winning, but he just had the belt, don’t ruin it. Ric Flair wouldn’t retain it because no fan likes him bad or good with the belt, and DDP isn’t really that popular to get the big belt. Sting, on the other hand, shows up out of the blue. I’m guessing Sting will get it with the help of Macho. Or it could be Hogan with the help of Macho. Or Macho could get the belt, which wouldn’t exactly work out. Still, on Monday the fatal four way between Hogan, Flair, Goldberg, and DDP was pretty good, this one should last a half hour and be awesome. I’m guessing it won’t be as good as I’m expecting, but with Macho back I’m happy enough. Here’s hoping it’s a great PPV!!
Well Monday Nitro comes my way from the big far away state of Washington in less than two hours time. I watched the Encore of Spring Stampede because I saw Shakespeare in Love. Best Picture? I don’t think so. Best part about it were Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow’s breasts. She only won because she’s hot, trust me. So was SS any good? The same old shit, about on calibur with Superbrawl, though at least SS had the best WCW ppv match in a long, long, long, looooong, loooooooong, loooooooong time. Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow redefined WCW as the hardcore king. This match was fucking awesome. Too bad I can’t say that for any other match. The fatal four way dance was just okay. Hogan leaving was a surprise, and DDP taking the win was a great move. The more I think about it the more I like it. Why give it to the others…been there, done that. DDP I like, though. His move is awesome. Don’t expect him to hold it for long. Rumors circulating say he’ll lose it to Nash at Slamboree May 9th. The matches I predicted are + checked and winners underlined.
+BLITZKRIEG vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA: This match was Thunder or even Saturday Night calibur, but I guess they have to put these nobodies on the ppv to fill up time. I’m still surprised that Halloween Havoc went over three hours. How many fucking matches did they have on that? I’ll tell you they weren’t very memorable. This match was basic Luchadore action. The top rope juvi-driver was cool, but nothing like Bam Bam’s Greetings From Asbury Park on Hak from the top rope through a table. Both moves are the same and Juvenjuice’s assault looks wimpy compared to the hardcore style. This match was entertaining, but nothing cool happened. Basic, a few good moves, easily forgettable. **1/2 (out of ****)
+HAK vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW: Last month at Uncensored the three ECW stars assembled in a harcore no-holds-barred match that I predicted to be awesome. It was good, but nothing like this matchup. Hak is now my favorite wrestler, besting Raven. ECW style minus the blood, this had it all. It started out with Hak laying Bam Bam on a table near the SS set which included hay and a Western-style Carriage minus the horses. Hak climbed on top of the carriage, jumped, flipped in mid-air landing on Bam Bam and the table. Holy shit this jump started SS like a wildfire. I had visions of this being the greatest PPV in history! Fuck WWF I said during this matchup! They get to the ring, and it sort of plays out like last month’s triple threat match, but Hak knew it was a ppv and he proved himself. He pulled a full size ladder (not that wimpy small fake steel one Goldberg and Scott Hall used at Souled Out) out from under the ring and I knew this was it. He also laid a table from the ring to the audience guardrail ECW-style. Hak really had the shit beat out of him during this matchup. Bam Bam sprayed Chastity (who was wearing sexy thigh highs) and did his move through a table from the top rope on Hak. The best match I’ve seen in years. The only thing that Hak could have done was wrap the barb wire around himself and jump on Bam Bam through a table. And they could have had blood, but I understand WCW. ***1/2
+SCOTTY RIGGS vs. MIKEY WHIPWRECK: After Hak and Bam Bam delivered the reasons I watch wrestling, this borefest showed up. Did anyone expect any less? At least Juvenjuice and Blitzkrieg jumped around. Riggs sucks now that the flock is over. He has a cheap new gimmick that Lex Luger used years ago in the WWF. Riggs walks to the ring with a mirror, he thinks he’s the best looking man in wrestling. Whipwreck just doesn’t have a gimmick period. He’s just a wrestler. He’s only wrestled like three times or something ridiculous. This match was horrible. The crowd said it best when the chanted BORING! for a good minute. –NO STARS-
DISCO INFERNO vs. KONANN: I didn’t expect much from this match and I didn’t get anything out of it. Disco didn’t even do anything funny expect show up in that outfit. Konann did Stone Cold’s move on Disco which is actually Disco’s own move. Wow. *
+KIDMAN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR.: The reasons WCW booked this match was because they knew these two will always put on a good show. Problem this time around is the fact that it’s getting old. These two just fought two weeks ago or something. And thing is, that match was the exact same as this. Wow, Kidman suffers from two bulldogs off of the top rope instead of one. Still, these two do entertain, I just wished WCW would have something different for a change. DDP winning definitely was a change. This wasn’t. **1/2
RAVEN & SATURN vs. DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT: They really should have made the Hak/Bam Bam match the main event. Because after that match I had such high expectations for this ppv and they were all shattered. This match had potential because Raven and Saturn are a great tag team, they had one of the better matches in WCW history last Nitro when they lost to Mysterio and Kidman. This match was above average, but nothing special enough to give it oomph. I liked Benoit’s real blood at the end when he was leaving, but when the best part of a match has nothing to do with the match itself then maybe there’s something awry. **1/2
+BIG POPPA PUMP vs. BOOKET T.: Booker T. already has the goddamn TV Title, who in their right mind figured he’d win the U.S. belt too? Apparently no one. Scott Steiner really needs his old partner back, he’s an awful wrestler solo. Meaning he’s boring. Booker T. doesn’t do anything for me. Not sexually, asshole. He doesn’t entertain me, much. I think Stevie Ray’s funny at least. Without Buff, Steiner is drowning. *
+GOLDBERG vs. KEVIN NASH: Maybe it’s me, but Goldberg just isn’t as exciting as he once was. When he used to spear people it meant something. Now he’s sort’ve getting old. He’s getting better at the mic which is good but he still needs to work on his wrestling. It seems like he uses the same moves: kick to the face, spear, jackhammer, etc. etc. etc. He doesn’t get on the top rope. And Nash didn’t exactly help. He really should have powerbombed him and Goldberg would only get a 2 count. Starcade match was much better. **1/2
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN vs. RIC FLAIR vs. DDP vs. STING: I think everyone in the world believed that either Hogan or Sting would get the belt. When Hogan left after his knee injury I knew Sting would leave with the belt. He’s so damn popular. Ric Flair isn’t going to retain the belt. No one likes him good or bad. DDP? Last time he was on a ppv he got his ass kicked by Big Poppa Pump. He’s not heavyweight material, is he? Apparently so. Rumors were flying that the WCW wrestlers in general were mad that Sting was gone for so long he shouldn’t be allowed to just show up and the next week he gets to be champ. So DDP (a WCW booker) gets to be the WCW Heavyweight Champion for the first time. At first I was like, “Him?”, but after a nice sleep I think it’s a great decision. Why give it to Sting…again. Ric Flair’s been the champ for long enough. So has Hogan. DDP is a great champ. I really hope he doesn’t lose it to Nash next month at Slamboree. I really hopes he keeps it at least until The Great American Bash or Bash at the Beach. The belt was just changed the past two ppvs, WCW isn’t that desperate for ratings are they? This match could have been a lot better, but the two surprises were good ppv tools (Hogan’s injury, DDP’s win). This is great fuel for Nitro. **1/2
All in all SS could have been much, much, much better. Of course I’ve been saying this since I’ve gotten the box. I even thought Wrestlemania could have been better. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations. The Hak/Bam Bam match elevated this ppv but all in all I’ll settle for **. In my predictions, I guessed 6 out of 9, which is a 66 and a D. It’s what I predicted at Uncensored. At Backlash I will predict 100% guaranteed, or not. See for yourself in a lucky 13 days.
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