WCW’S SLAMBOREE

St. Louis, Missouri

Slamboree is a measly five days away, and I’m not that excited. Why? Even though the card is great, I can’t forget the past.  I’ve seen the last three WCW ppv’s in their entirety and didn’t think much of them. You really have to figure in the price. The Monday Night shows usually turn out to be much, much better. UPN’s new WWF show, Smackdown, was a million times better than Backlash. This is probably due to the fact that a ppv is three hours of no commercials or interviews or backstage madness, just…wrestling. I was pumped up for Uncesnored and Spring Stampede and they more or less let me down. I wasn’t pumped up for Backlash and it still let me down. Slamboree has a few really great matchups…but after the last three ppv’s, I’m looking for a miracle. That miracle is the new, improved WCW. Last Monday because Nitro was getting beaten in the ratings by WWF, they actually had Sting win and lose the belt in one night. That was Nitro. They did it because Nitro was losing ratings. Spring Stampede did unimpressible numbers for ppv. (A 0.6 buy rate as opposed to Uncensored & Souled Out’s  0.75 and Superbrawl’s 1.2) Could this mean they make Slamboree rock? I truly hope so. Here’s hoping Scott Hall shows up, Goldberg loses, and a few surprises occur that rock WCW’s foundation. Here’s hoping it’s a show stopper.

My predictions:

NASH vs. DDP: Everyone and their mother is expecting Nash to win. This shouldn’t change the outcome. With DDP as the champ everyone is flipping the channel. Nash is a heavyweight champion, though, and this time he won’t willingly give it to Hogan. This match should be just okay. DDP is usually an entertaining wrestler, especially with his new gimmick where he tries to injure you. Nash isn’t the best, you can tell he doesn’t like to wrestle anymore. I hope Scott Hall shows up, but even if he doesn’t Nash really should win and that’s a great ending.

REY MYSTERIO JR. & KIDMAN vs. DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT vs. RAVEN & SATURN: This one internet source had stated that Kanyon was going to take Saturn’s place because of an injury. Last night on Nitro Saturn was wrestling, so I really have no idea who Raven will show up with on Sunday. It could be Hak for all I know (wouldn’t that be just killer? I’d give the show 4 stars automatically). Raven & his partner haven’t had the tag belts yet so they should definitely receive them here. The only good tag team matches as of late have involved these three teams so expect the best match of the night.

BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. BRIAN KNOBBS: This match may be the hardest to predict. Why? Well, because Bam Bam won at the last ppv, meaning at Great American Bash it would be Hak verse Bam Bam…again. This way, Knobbs can fight Hak at GAB in June. Or Bam Bam could get the obvious win because Knobbs is, well, c’mon. Does anyone think Knobbs has a chance besides me? He’s new and he already won his first hardcore match, might as well make him look like a contender. Let’s hope Knobbs shows us his real, “hardcore” side at Slamboree.

GOLDBERG vs. STING: This is yet another matchup that could go either way. Rumors say that it will be Sting who faces Nash next month in the main event in Balitmore. So you would have to figure that he beats Goldberg here to become the number one contender. Well I truly doubt Goldberg would officially lose unless a belt is on the line. Why? Well he’s only been pinned once, and since there’s no belts or anything at stake here Goldberg should prevail. Remember when Nash helped Goldberg during the DDP match? Let’s hope Nash helps Goldberg win…and Goldberg joins the Wolfpac. I hope Sting wins, though, but place your bets on ‘da man.

BUFF BAGWELL vs. BIG POPPA PUMP: This match is for the coveted U.S. Title. The only time the U.S. Title meant anything was when Raven had it and Goldberg beat him and his whole flock to retain it. Lately it’s been kicked around like the WWF’s European Title. Apparently on BPP’s web page it staes he will lose the title, so I’m not going to guess otherwise. It does make sense, since Bagwell is now good and lately he’s been pretty lame, give ‘em a belt. This match will be horrible, as Big Poppa is one of the least entertaining wrestlers in the sport…and Buff is right behind him.

KONNAN vs. STEVIE RAY: Yet another fast-forward match. Stevie Ray is fairly entertaining in the ring, but Konnan is horrible. This match could go either way, but I figure Konnan will win even though the entire black and white N.W.O. will be interfering. It would be cool if Nash came out to help Konnan against the N.W.O. like he did on Nitro.

ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs. RIC FLAIR: This match is a President Match. What the hell does that mean? Whoever wins becomes the WCW president. Expect Piper to win, because Flair has already done pretty much everything he can possibly do with his president angle. Although Piper as the president would probably be worse. I’m hoping Bischoff takes it back because he was the best. This match will be one of the worst matches you will ever witness. Why? Well, it’s a wheelchair match as well. Both are in the ring in wheelchairs, whoever knocks the other one out of the wheelchair wins. Just kidding. Or am I? The last time Piper wrestled it was against Scott Hall and it was at Superbrawl IX. It sucked. Hopefully David Flair will show up, otherwise, expect to fall fast asleep in a very, very, deeep sleeeep……

GORGEOUS GEORGE vs. REF. CHARLES ROBINSON: I really wish Charles wins, but it’s pretty much impossible. This is Macho Man’s bitch verses Ric Flair’s bitch. If GG wins than Macho Man can wrestle in WCW, if the ref wins than MM is kicked out. But what if Piper wins the presidency? That angle adds the fact that Robinson could win and MM could still be able to wrestle. This should be a very entertaining match as both don’t exactly know any moves or anything. MM should play a pivotal role, as should Arn Anderson, Flair, and the mature Medusa. This should be a hilarious, ppv worthy match.

BOOKER T. vs. RICK STEINER: The dog faced gremlin returns. This match is for the prestigious TV Title. I figure Steiner will take it from him because Dogg needs an angle desperately. The last one he had was fighting his brother which lasted too long. This match could be interesting if Scott Steiners shows up, but I doubt it. Or…Booker’s bro, Stevie Ray could help him thus re-forming the elusive Harlem Heat. That would be awesome. It would also mean the break up of the awful black and white N.W.O.

     Slamboree 1999 is officially history and Nitro was…not on. The fantastically exciting NBA playoffs are forcing Nitro to be preempted until May 24th. I think it’s good for WCW to take a rest since lately it’s been receiving weekly rapings from a little organization called the WWF. Was Slamboree any good? It was a great ppv, definitely the best WCW ppv I’ve seen (I haven’t exactly seen them all, and can’t remember a lot of them). The Steiner brothers, Bischoff, and Bret Hart are back, Kevin Nash is the world champ, and Rowdy Roddy Piper is the new WCW president. It really did play out like the Wrestlemania of WCW. I’m glad they tried their hardest here, it’s really too bad they haven’t a chance against the undestructable Vincent McMahon juggernaut. It was a good night to be a WCW fan. Here’s my thoughts, my ratings, and the matches I predicted correctly are checked as follows:

+DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT vs. RAVEN & SATURN vs. REY MYSTERIO JR. & KIDMAN: I predicted this match to be the best. Was it? No, but it was up there. Raven and Saturn receive the tag team belts with the help of Kanyon who was dressed in a DDP shirt and a Sting mask (hilarious). Raven evenflows Kidman off of the top rope. The opening bout kicked things off on a very positive note. ***

+STEVIE RAY vs. KONNAN: In my predictions I called this a “fast-forward match”. It was exactly as I called it. Mysterio came out and helped Konnan get the win which at least added something. These two wrestlers really don’t have any specialty. One’s a tough Mexican, the other’s a tough black man. Matches like this make you realize why WWF is more popular. *1/2

BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. “NASTY” BRIAN KNOBBS: I’m mad at myself for picking loser Knobbs. This match really needed Hak. I’m sorry but even though it was mildly exciting, it didn’t touch Hak’s peformance at last month’s Spring Stampede. It seemed like they even fucked up the climax when Knobbs jumped over the table hitting Bam Bam on the floor after Bam Bam had moved out of the way. Knobbs is an idiot. This is the last time I ever pick him. **1/2

+RICK STEINER vs. BOOKER T.: Without a doubt, this was the official worst match of the night. Dogg is a horrible wrestler. Booker T. at least has his break dance move which made me wake up. Dogg wins the prestigious TV Title with help from his estranged brother, Scott. This match could have used…other wrestlers. *

+GORGEOUS GEORGE vs. REFEREE CHARLES ROBINSON: This match was exactly what I expected. They didn’t really do any moves, just slaps and the Jay Leno favorite, the arm twist. The surprise was how good Charles Robinson protrayed Ric Flair. He did it to a T, from the face first fall down to the flip over the top ropes, he was the nature boy for a night. All in all a semi-entertaining matchup. GG won with the big elbow, but it was only from the second rope. Macho Man is re-instated. If Ric Flair, Madusa, Asia (hilarity), Macho Man, and Ms. Madness weren’t at ringside this match wouldn’t have been as good. **1/2

BUFF BAGWELL vs. BIG POPPA PUMP: What was I thinking? Buff Bagwell with the U.S. Title? I must have been smoking crack. I think Scott “BPP” Steiner is entertaining when he talks, but his wrestling skills are straight out of Dullsville. Buff is funny…when he’s not wrestling. This equals a boring match. I’ll give it stars because Rick Steiner hits Buff’s once injured neck with a steel chair and the Steiner brothers are back! Good ending at least. *1/2

+RIC FLAIR vs. “ROWDY” RODDY PIPER: I expected this to be the worst match of the night. I even had the audacity to call this a “wheelchair” match. I said this because after watching Scott Hall and Piper bore everyone everywhere at Superbrawl IX back in February, I figured Piper couldn’t produce anything much against…Ric Flair. I must have been still high off that crack that I smoked during the last match’s prediction. Ric Flair always entertains. And with Asia, Arn Anderson…and especially with “Little Natch” Charles Robinson reffing, you hadda to expect something. Not the best match, but definitely scores points with Eric Bischoff returning to not only overturn Ric Flair’s win but to become seemingly good by shaking Piper’s hand. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper is the new WCW president. Definitely ppv worthy. **1/2

GOLDBERG vs. STING: I picked Goldberg. He didn’t win. The catch? Neither did Sting. Bret Hart showed up and beat the shit out of Goldberg with a chair, then left. If there was a clear cut winner, this match would have been a three and half star affair, or maybe a four, but I loved it when Bret Hart showed up. It came out of the clear blue, another shocking return in a night full of them. Shall I talk about the match? Classic. Sting does two stinger splashes on Goldberg, goes for a third, Goldberg spears Sting in mid-air (well okay, technically Godlberg caught him and then slammed him to the mat). A great match. I can’t wait for the return…especially if one of them carries gold to the ring. ***

+KEVIN ‘BIG SEXY’ NASH vs. DDP: This match really couldn’t have been any better. The best part? DDP diamond cuts Nash outside of the ring. They pulled a screwjob ending like the first Sting/Hogan match at Starrcade ’97. Nash powerbombs DDP and goes for the easy 1-2-3. Macho Man comes in and attacks Nash, forcing ref. Nick Patrick to call a disqualification. So DDP is still the champ, right? No. Bischoff comes out again (I guess he’s trying to gain fan support a la Vinny Mac) and overturns the ruling, forces them to keep fighting. Nash wins in three minutes. New champ. Not the best main event, but I really doubt it could have been any better. **1/2

    So Slamboree is done with. It gets **1/2. It was a great show, better than any WCW ppv I’ve seen. They really pulled out all of the stops. Bischoff came back. Piper is the new prez. Macho Man is reinstated. Rick Steiner wins the TV title, turns bad and reforms the Steiner brothers. Nash becomes the world champ. Raven and Saturn become the tag team champs with the help of Kanyon. Bret Hart returns. They tried their best. I missed Hogan, Scott Hall, Jericho, and Hak, but I’m sure they’ll be at next month’s PPV from Baltimore, The Great American Bash where the rumored main event is Sting vs. Nash for the title. Also I here rumblings of Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner with Bret Hart as the special ref. I actually guessed 6 out of 8 matches. There were 9 matches but Goldberg/Sting didn’t have an outcome. I received a 75%, a C. That ties my Backlash record. I’m getting better predicting, hopefully at WWF’s Over the Edge in a short 11 days I’ll beat every record in the book. Stone Cold vs. Undertaker? I’ll have to do some hardcore studying. Until then, later.