WWE CLASH OF CHAMPIONS

Boston

MOJO RAWLEY vs. ZACK RYDER (6:55): The pre-show match. I don't regularly watch Smackdown...but are these two even on TV anymore? The last time I remember seeing Rawley was at Wrestlemania. Rawley was on fire (probably because he's never on TV and so he wanted to show his worth) but this was forgettable. 1/2*

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. BARON CORBIN vs. BOBBY ROODE (12:45): Better than I expected, although triple threat matches usually are all action and thus usually good. The great Boston crowd even chanted, "This is awesome!" at one point. It wasn't, but it was decent. Ziggler won the title from Corbin here for some unknown reason. **1/2

THE USO'S vs. THE NEW DAY vs. CHAD GABLE & SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. RUSEV & AIDEN ENGLISH (12:54): This was the match of the night. The final five minutes or so were wall to wall action and big moves and pure entertainment. Gable was the highlight, doing some wicked suplexes. The crowd roared approval for Rusev and English for some reason (when two guys in WWE are floundering around they sometimes just put them in a joke tag team like they did Caesaro and Sheamus). ***

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. NATALYA "LUMBERJACK MATCH" (10:32): A mess. Flair did a top rope moonsault to a pile of women at ringside. That was about the only good part. Natalya did a post-match whining plea on the mic to the booing crowd for some reason. 1/2*

THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS vs. BREEZANGO (1:58): Harper and Rowan are now a cheesy, 80's style tag team with dumb, Dungeon & Dragons-esque outfits that look they were bought from a Xena: Warrior Princess basement sale. -No Stars-

KEVIN OWENS & SAMI ZAYN vs. RANDY ORTON & SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (21:37): So Shane and Daniel Bryan were refs for this. If Owens and Zayn lost they would be fired. So the end was kind of interesting when Bryan almost counted to 3 but was knocked over by Shane...then Shane stopped at 2 when counting a pin to have Owens and Zayn win (Shane hates them...I guess because he had a HITC match with Owens two months ago). Eventually Bryan retaliated and did a fast count and Owens and Zayn won and kept their jobs. The problem with this too long match was that there were two refs in the ring which meant all of the action was awkward. Owens did do a splash onto Nakamura on the announce table. Story wise it worked. **

AJ STYLES vs. JINDER MAHAL (23:04): Ugh. Jinder lost the title to AJ in Manchester last month on Smackdown. Jinder then went to India and lost to HHH. So I guess they decided to keep him at least sort of powerful by having him beat down AJ for the majority of this match. AJ is awesome but this was awfully boring. So how was Jinder's title reign? He won it against Orton in a ** match. Their re-match was **. Their third match in the Punjabi Prison got 1/2*. His Summerslam match against Nakamura got 1/2*. The re-match got *1/2. Fuck. I hope I never see him again. *

ROH FINAL BATTLE

New York City

MATT TAVEN vs. WILL OSPREAY (10:58): Good opener. Both guys did a bunch of crazy, top-rope dives. Taven, though, looked super sloppy in everything he did next to the master, Ospreay, though. Which just shows how great (and smooth) Ospreay is. ***

WAR MACHINE vs. THE ADDICTION (9:35): Kind of a squash, really. The crowd was super hot for everything early but got a little more tired and quiet as the night wore on. They did go ape shit for the fat men of War Machine when they did their big moves. This was average. **

JAY LETHAL vs. MARTY SCURLL (15:55): Good match. 2017 is definitely the year that Scurll became a star. Lethal's been a little boring lately but these two worked well together. Scurll is always a lot of fun to watch. It worked. ***

THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. BEST FRIENDS (10:20): The MCMG's retained the tag team titles in a good match that ended a little abruptly in a fast, roll-up pin. Chucky T. and Baretta, the Best Friends, were just in New Japan for their Tag tournament and were probably the most entertaining team in it.
This match was short and fast and fun while it lasted. **1/2

SILAS YOUNG vs. KENNY KING vs. PUNISHMENT MARTINEZ vs. SHANE TAYLOR (17:25): Young won the TV title in this elimination bout. Young is the "last real man." I guess he voted for Donald Trump? Martinez came out in a coffin surrounded by zombies. This match was just okay. Young broke a beer bottle over King's head. Martinez did a bunch of over the top rope dives. Taylor apparently lost 100 pounds but still has an ass the size of an elephant. It was entertaining in spots. **

THE BRISCOE'S vs. BULLY RAY & TOMMY DREAMER "NEW YORK CITY STREET FIGHT" (16:30): Jesus. Dudley and Dreamer are still wrestling? And still using tables and canes and bleeding? This was supposedly Bully Ray's last match. The crowd fucking loved it...they probably cheered more for this than anything else on the show...which probably tells you something about why our society is so violent...or not, who knows? It certainly wasn't boring. They used lightsaber's (the new Star Wars came out the day this show was on), a cheese grater, a ladder, chairs, tables, etc. Bully fake bled. It was amusing. **1/2

THE YOUNG BUCKS & ADAM PAGE vs. DRAGON LEE, TITAN & FLIP GORDON (15:11): Pure spectacle, as expected. There wasn't really anything new here, just the usual schtick and high flying. Gordon is really one to watch. And Dragon Lee and The Bucks are three of the most entertaining wrestlers in the world. It never reached the nirvana stage that some Bucks matches hit, but it was still awesome. ***

DALTON CASTLE vs. CODY RHODES (12:55): Rhodes came out with blonde hair. He lost the title. I guess that's kind of a surprise since Rhodes was supposed to defend his title against Ibushi at the Dome in a few weeks. The problem is that Rhodes is a good heel but he's never in good matches. Castle has a great gimmick with his island boys but in the ring he's pedestrian. Rhodes bled, put Castle through the announce table. There was a ref bump. Rhodes' wife did a top rope jump onto the boys. Other than those highlights, this was mostly lackluster. *1/2

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

Houston

ELIAS vs. MATT HARDY (9:15): This was the first of three pre-show matches. I didn't see this, although I will say that Elias' songs are one of the WWE's few highlights every week.

ENZO AMORE vs. KALISTO (8:45): Enzo retained the cruiserweight title, a title that seemingly becomes more or a joke every day. As a heel, Enzo on the mic doesn't work, and since he's never been good in the ring, he's a dead man walking. I did watch this and already forget it. 1/2*

KEVIN OWENS & SAMI ZAYN vs. BREEZANGO (7:45): The last of the pre-show matches. This pre-show started at 6 PM and the whole show ended around 10:45 PM. Zayn is great as a solo wrestler...so I was stupidly hoping this new heel push would mean the return of the great, Zayn solo matches (remember his matches against Nakamura and Cesaro on those NXT specials? Ah, memories). Nope. Now Zayn and Owens just team up in superfluous matches like this. And Zayn is not a good heel. He's too happy and smiles too much. It's like he just can't do it. 1/2*

THE SHIELD vs. THE NEW DAY (21:20): Decent opener, although nothing special. This match had less than a week's build which was a problem. The Shield just isn't as cool, exciting, or interesting as they were year's ago. This match had some good action but it could have been much better. **1/2

ALICIA FOX, SASHA BANKS, BAYLEY, ASUKA & NIA JAX vs. BECKY LYNCH, NAOMI, CARMELLA, NATALYA & TAMINA (18:35): The RAW team won when Asuka got the final pin to remain undefeated. This was just okay. I'm not the biggest fan of Survivor Series. 5 on 5 elimination matches are rarely good and I could care less if RAW or Smackdown is better. **

BARON CORBIN vs. THE MIZ (9:35): This was better than I expected. The Miz is the IC champion and Corbin is the U.S. champion. It was all action with no boring spots. Of course it wasn't! It was only nine minutes. Still, this was probably the best Corbin match I've ever seen...which, granted, isn't saying much. **1/2

THE USO'S vs. CESARO & SHEAMUS (15:55): Good, not great, and this probably should have been better. This was the RAW tag champs vs. the Smackdown champs. It got good late but never rose to anything PPV-worthy. **1/2

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. ALEXA BLISS (15:00): Ugh. Bliss is not an entertaining wrestler. She's the champ. Flair's the champ. So this whole show was matches with no titles on the line except the meaningless 205Live crown. Which made this a stupid, pointless show. This was boring but Flair tried. *1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. AJ STYLES (15:25): Good match and the best Lesnar match in a long time. The first five minutes was an all Brock beat down. Then AJ came back and it heated up and then AJ of course lost. This was the one WWE match I dreamed about ever since AJ got here. Unfortunately it had five million things going against it. It wasn't the main event. It had two champions but wasn't for the either belt. AJ won the title two week's ago on Smackdown which meant this match had less than a two week build. The announcers kept talking about how if AJ won then Smackdown would have already "won" Survivor Series (winning more matches total on the show), thus making the last match meaningless, so of course AJ wasn't fucking winning. Still, it was pretty awesome for awhile. ***

KURT ANGLE, BRAUN STROWMAN, FINN BALOR, SOMOA JOE & TRIPLE H vs. SHANE McMAHON, RANDY ORTON, BOBBY ROODE, SHINSUKE NAKAMURA & JOHN CENA (33:20): This was good early but had a dull, flat finish. The Houston crowd was hot all night which was good (usually by this late hour they're asleep and inching towards the exits). Nakamura facing Balor got a monstrous reaction from the crowd. Cena and Roode did nothing. The Smackdown gang put Braun through a table. Shane was by himself at the end vs. HHH, Braun, and Kurt Angle. HHH turned on Angle and let Shane pin Angle. But then HHH turned on Shane and pinned him to win for RAW. Then Braun was mad at this stupid ending so he slammed HHH. Entertaining match with a stupid, McMahon-focused ending
that we're all sick of. **1/2

NJPW POWER STRUGGLE

Osaka

DAVID FINLAY vs. KATSUYA KITAMURA (5:32): This was a pre-show match. Kitamura is tanned and looks like he's on steroids. AKA he's dull. Forgettable. 1/2*

THE YOUNG BUCKS vs. TITAN & DRAGON LEE (7:18): Good match, obviously. Dragon Lee is awesome, Titan does some of the highest high flying moves in the business, and The Young Bucks are the most entertaining tag team in the world. This was short, for no title, but it was a hell of a lot of fun. ***

HIRAI KAWATO, JUICE ROBINSON, JUSHIN THUNDER LIGER, KUSHIDA & TIGER MASK vs. SUZUKI-GUN (5:19): Ugh. Another NWO-esque melee. Suzuki Gun is awful. Kawato, a Young Lion (meaning his outfit is a simple pair of black underwear), is one to watch, though. Dude's nuts. **

HIROYOSHI TENZAN, SATOSHI KOJIMA & TOGI MAKABE vs. CHASE OWENS, CODY & YUJIRO TAKAHASHI (8:11): Takahashi comes out with two prostitutes on these big shows...so there's at least eye candy during his boring matches. Cody has a new heel gimmick where he tries to make his opponents kiss his ring. Nobody ever does. There wasn't much else beyond that. *

RAPPONGI 3K vs. ACH & RYUSUKE TAGUCHI (15:11): Good match. This was the finals of the Jr. tag team tournament...which Sho and Yoh won even though they're the champs. Which means they won but don't get any sort of prize. They're facing the Bucks at the Dome for the titles. Taguchi is a comedian...which sometimes works. It didn't really work for this; what was supposed to be a highly competitive tournament final. ACH did some cool high flying and Rappongi 3K are fun. **1/2

GEDO, HIROOKI GOTO, KAZUCHIKA OKADA, TOMOHIRO ISHII & YOSHI-HASHI vs. BUSHI, EVIL, HIROMU TAKASHI, SANADA & TETSUYA NAITO (12:07): When Okada and Naito faced off this was good...which was most of the match, actually, setting up their Dome main event. The rest was the usual multi-person throwaway New Japan match. **

MINORU SUZUKI vs. TORU YANO "BULL ROPE MATCH" (15:21): Wow. NJPW is doing stupid gimmick matches now. And this was as dumb as they come. But a regular match with Yano would've been just as dumb. Suzuki Gun interfered. Goto interfered. A steel chair was used. They choked each other. Eh. 1/2*

MARTY SCURLL vs. WILL OSPREAY (17:28): Shocking. Ospreay just won the Jr. title last month and Scurll beat him for it tonight. They did it to set up a 4-way at the Dome with Takahashi and Kushida, but still, a one month title reign? I was looking forward to Ospreay/Takahashi for the belt. As for this match...it was stellar late. These two know each other like the back of their hand. I did think that their match earlier this year in the Super Jr.'s tournament was better, though. But the last five minutes of this was as good as it gets. **1/2

KENNY OMEGA vs. BERETTA (21:33): Good match. Beretta is crazy. Yes, this has been established. Earlier this year he did a flip from the ring to the floor and landed on his back. He also had thumbtacks put in his mouth by the Young Bucks who then Super Kicked him at a ROH show in the Spring. In this match he did a top rope flip to the floor through a table. Omega retained the U.S. title, which probably shouldn't exist (this company has way too many titles). Beretta was better in the tag team division. I doubt he could have a good singles match with anyone else. I guess we'll see. And post-match, Chris Jericho showed up in a video package to challenge Omega at the Dome. Ugh. I guess that's cool and all...but Jericho is a shell of his former self. And I really wanted to see Omega/Ibushi at the Dome. ***

HIROSHI TANAHASHI vs. KOTA IBUSHI (29:28): This was the match of the night. Ibushi did all of his crazy high flying leaps and dives and Tanahashi had the crowd in the palm of his hand throughout the high drama. It started slow and built to a great match by the end. After Tanahashi won, Jay White showed up to beat up Tanahashi and challenge him to a match at the Dome. Honestly? I'd rather have seen this match at the Dome than a Jay White match. But White did have a great match against Ospreay in NYC at ROH's War of the Worlds last Spring. And Tanahashi always brings it. So we'll see. It'll be a long two month wait. ***

WWE TLC

Minneapolis

Attendance: 13,381

SASHA BANKS vs. ALICIA FOX (11:00): This was a pre-show match. Sasha is still a star, still a crowd favorite...but her days of having great matches disappeared once Charlotte went to Smackdown. Alicia Fox is more comedic...so this was mostly just ridiculous and forgettable. 1/2*

ASUKA vs. EMMA (9:25): This was Asuka's debut on the main roster. She's a good worker, obviously, but so good that her matches are never good. If she ever wrestled a competitor on her level like Charlotte it might be good. Emma is decent, nothing special. It wasn't a squash but it should have been. *1/2

CEDRIC ALEXANDER & RICH SWANN vs. JACK GALLAGHER & BRIAN KENDRICK (8:00): Boy was this ppv reaching. Two 205Live matches and three women's matches. I usually enjoy the cruiser weight action but this was pedestrian at best. Neville quit the company recently, probably because they gave the title to Enzo. **

ALEXA BLISS vs. MICKIE JAMES (11:25): Bliss is cute but always in so-so matches. So we know what's important in the WWE. Mickie is past her prime but still works hard. This was just okay. *1/2

ENZO AMORE vs. KALISTO (8:45): Enzo won back the cruiser weight title. 205Live is a good idea on paper. Maybe they should just let the wrestlers do their stuff and not let lame story lines interfere. This was another mostly dull match. *1/2

FINN BALOR vs. AJ STYLES (18:20): Good match. The first one on this show and best of the night. Bray Wyatt was supposed to face Balor but Bray had a viral infection (Roman Reigns and Bo Dallas were also off the show because of this...which turned out to be the mumps...which is like chicken pox, right? The adult version? Man, where is Vince Russo? We could've head a Chemical Mask Suit match or Antidote on a Pole match). This was just two great wrestlers wrestling. No story line, gimmicks, or titles. And it worked. The one small problem is that, c'mon, this should've been the main event for the championship. When was the last time the WWE had a great championship main event with two great wrestlers? Brock Lesnar, the RAW champ, barely wrestles, and Smackdown's champ, Jinder Mahal, is more a marketing gimmick than anything. ***

JASON JORDAN vs. ELIAS (8:50): Elias, when he sings a song about how bad the city he's in is, is at least funny. But in the ring he sucks. And Jordan's flailing with the crowds everywhere. Not good. 1/2*

KURT ANGLE & DEAN AMBROSE & SETH ROLLINS vs. KANE, THE MIZ, SHEAMUS, CESARO & BRAUN STROWMAN "TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH" (35:25): Roman Reigns has the mumps. So instead of a Shield reunion we got the return of Kurt Angle. He came out in the crowd dressed with a black vest like a Shield member. Don't even ask me why this was a 5 on 3 match or why Kane and Braun Strowman were even in this because I don't know. The big spot was Dean and Seth jumping off ladders onto Kane and Braun on the two announce tables at ringside. Other than that there weren't any suicidal dives. The crowd did go nuts when Angle did his Olympic Slam and Ankle Lock. They even did a Kurt Angle-gets-hurt-and-leaves-but-returns-with-his-theme-music. The Miz brought out a trash truck by the Titan-Tron. Dean and Seth jumped off of it and then Braun Strowman was thrown into it and trapped. Kane put Strowman through a table by the Titan Tron and then dropped a pile of chairs from the ceiling on him even though they were supposed to be on the same team (Kane hit Strowman with a chair by accident earlier...so I guess that's why they're feuding now). Angle did an Olympic Slam to Cesaro through a table. So it was a long, sloppy cluster fuck. It was fun in spots and boring in spots. **1/2 

NJPW KING OF PRO WRESTLING

Tokyo

BAD LUCK FALE & LEO TONGA & YUJIRO TAKAHASHI vs. BUSHI, HIROMU TAKAHASHI & SANADA (6:44): Hiromu Takahashi is one of New Japan's most exciting wrestlers, so it's sad that he hasn't been in a solo match since June and his mega-push earlier this year has stalled (he will probably end up facing Ospreay at Wrestle Kingdom in January, though). He was, literally, the only one worth watching in this. And he didn't even really do anything! Sanada did a big top rope to the floor flip. And why does Sanada always have that permanent scowl like he wishes he was somewhere else? *1/2

HIROOKI GOTO & TORU YANO vs. MINORU SUZUKI & ZACK SABRE, JR. (9:18): Ugh. When will Yano retire already? He was doing commentary during the main event, so maybe (hopefully) soon. He won the match when Suzuki was counted out thanks to Yano's shenanigans. I kind of feel bad when real wrestlers have a match with him. It's like if Daniel Day Lewis would be forced to be on an episode of The Big Bang Theory. 1/2*

RAPPONGI 3K vs. RICOCHET & RYUSUKE TAGUCHI (14:52): The mystery team, Rappongi Vice 3000, turned out to be two guys I didn't even know, Sho and Yo, former Young Lions who wrestled in CMLL last year and in ROH as The Tempura Boys. They're young and fast and sort of fun to watch. I think a match against The Young Bucks would be suited better for them then this. They won the Jr. tag titles here. And while Ricochet and Taguchi are mildly amusing...it pisses me off that such a superior talent like Ricochet is stuck in a frigging comedy tag team low on the card. He should be the main event star. This had a few good high flying sequences but not much else. **1/2

KILLER ELITE SQUAD vs. WAR MACHINE vs. GUERRILLAS OF DESTINY (16:10): This was an elimination match for the tag titles, which Davey Boy Smith, Jr. and Lance Archer retained. It was kind of odd to see six non-Japanese wrestlers wrestling in Japan for the tag team championship. It was also lame that these three already had two back to back matches in September at the big shows. I guess New Japan has no idea what to do with the tag division...or just doesn't care. At least the Jr. tag division has been awesome the last few years, so there's that. This was at least entertaining. The winners put the fat viking of War Machine through a table to win, although the table more collapsed than broke and it looked stupid. Killer Elite Squad are a big, dumb, early 90's style of tag team. Which means they suck. But, hey, big guys doing big moves is usually at least watchable. **1/2

CODY, KENNY OMEGA & MARTY SCURLL vs. BERETTA, JADO & YOSHI-HASHI (13:42): The Bullet Club were amusing (even doing a 2-foot ring-post head stomp and then a 4-foot ring-post head stomp). So this was more comedy than anything. Beretta as a singles dude is still up in the air. He does some high flying suicide stuff which is good but other than that he seems lost. Omega is facing Yoshi-Hashi next week in Chicago at a ROH show for NJPW's U.S. title so those two fought early on. I suppose they could have a good match because Omega is the best wrestler in the world, but, you know, I'm skeptical. Yoshi-Hashi is pretty forgettable. **1/2

JUICE ROBINSON & KOTA IBUSHI vs. HIROSHI TANAHASHI & TOGI MAKABE (10:26): Tanahashi is facing Ibushi for the IC title next month in the main event of Power Struggle, so I guess he wanted to sell the shit out of it because he actually looked fast and good here. All summer he's looked hurt and slow because of his tendon tear or whatever the hell it was (Japanese people apparently never take vacations). This match was short and sort of

fun while it lasted. Nothing special. **

WILL OSPREAY vs. KUSHIDA (15:32): Good match, albeit probably only half as good as their brutal, epic Best of the Super Jr.'s final. Ospreay is just incredible to watch. He's one of those guy's that you watch no matter who his opponent is. He beat Kushida for the Jr. title here. His ridiculously melodramatic victory shock face was priceless. It's the fucking Jr. title, not a million bucks. ***

TETSYA NAITO vs. TOMOHIRO ISHII (23:56): Great match. Anti climatic...but stellar nonetheless. This was for the contract to be in the main event of Wrestle Kingdom...which the G1 winner already won (Naito). Which makes the entire G1 tournament completely pointless (it basically means the winner gets a semi-main event at King of Pro-Wrestling and perhaps the main event at WK). There were maybe one thousand near falls in this match and both guys landed sickeningly on their heads a dozen times. The final ten minutes or so were a typical NJPW frenzy with drama, brutality, kick-outs, and big moves. It wasn't Naito or Ishii's best match together...but it was by far the match of the show. ***1/2

KAZUCHIKA OKADA vs. EVIL (33:26): Evil is boring. And Okada tried his best but this turned out to just okay. Evil, since he's, well, evil, used a chair a few times outside the ring. Yawn. The final few minutes were good with reversals and near falls but, let's face it, Evil wasn't fucking winning the title. That kind of made this match ridiculously pointless. The end was good but it went way too long. And this sets up Naito vs. Okada for the title at WK, which I'm not too happy about. I wanted to see Omega/Okada 4. Naito and Okada for whatever reason have not had the greatest matches against each other. I'm much more looking forward to Omega vs. Ibushi at WK. And what does that say about the champ? **

WWE HELL IN A CELL

from Detroit

CHAD GABLE & SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. THE HYPE BROS (10:20): Shelton Benjamin is back. That's crazy. He hasn't been in the WWE in years. I vaguely recall him wrestling in Japan last year...but he certainly became somewhat forgotten after he left WWE. They threw him together with Gable since Gable's former tag team partner got the new, lame story line of being Kurt Angle's long lost son. This was a typical pre-show match that started at 7:30 PM. The show ended at 11:30 PM. Are they trying to be more like New Japan or something? I miss the days of these Smackdown ppv's being 2 and 1/2 hours long. * (out of ****)

THE USO'S vs. THE NEW DAY "HELL IN A CELL" (22:00): These teams had exceptional matches the last two times they wrestled on ppv. Unfortunately, this one wasn't as good. Blame the weapons. Their other matches were fast paced and exciting because of wrestling moves and action and near falls. This was more brutal and slow. They kept diving through the ropes into the cage wall and they used Singapore canes and handcuffs. The Uso's won the titles here when they did a double top rope splash onto Xavier and a chair. **1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. RUSEV (11:40): Kind of meandering. They really need to give these two some meaty story lines or something. The crowd loved Orton, though. So perhaps I'm just wrong. He won with, yep, an RKO outta nowhere. *

BARON CORBIN vs. AJ STYLES vs. TYE DILLINGER (19:20): This was the match of the night. And it may have been better if Corbin wasn't in it. On the pre-show, Daniel Bryan added Dillinger to this to make it a triple threat. Good move, as AJ and Dillinger work well together. And while AJ is the WWE's best wrestler by far, I doubt even he could have gotten a good solo match out of Corbin. Corbin won the U.S. title here. Yawn. ***

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. NATALYA (12:15): Natalya used a chair and got DQ'd. Charlotte is a good girl now and boring, although she did a cool top rope moonsault to the floor. *1/2

JINDER MAHAL vs. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (12:10): It probably tells you something about Jinder, the champ, when his title match isn't the main event and only goes twelve minutes. He's fucking awful, that's what it tells you. But WWE is doing a tour in India in December and they want to start making money and fans in India because it has over a billion people...so we're stuck with Jinder as champ for awhile. The end wasn't bad. There was interference with Mahal's boys and a close, near victory by Nakamura but Jinder put his foot on the ropes. Other than the entertaining last minute, this was a bust. *1/2

BOBBY ROODE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (11:35): The WWE writers have apparently given up Dolph. He came to the ring with a black Titantron screen entrance. Roode has a nice entrance song but is a complete bore. This was forgettable. 1/2*

KEVIN OWENS vs. SHANE McMAHON "HELL IN A CELL" (39:00): The last five minutes were great. The previous 34...not so good. Shane delivered his ridiculously fake punches throughout. Shane did a ring long Van Terminator with a trash can to Owens. Owens did a running flip off the apron through a table at ringside. Eventually they got on top of the cell and delivered fake punches and a power bomb and a few other lame moves for what seemed like forever. Finally, Owens started to climb down but Shane climbed down and kicked him and Owens fell halfway off the cell through the announce table. Then Shane put Owens on another announce table and climbed back up and jumped off to deliver an elbow. But...wait! Sami Zayn pulled Owens off the table and Shane crashed down alone. So that was awesome. Shane jumping off the top of the cell has been done before but it was still cool to see. And Zayn, Owen's nemesis, helping him to get the pin at the end was at least something new and a good way to end the show. Zayn is a great wrestler so it's nice to see them give him something to do for once. Most of this match was a train wreck, however. Shane should have just jumped off the cell right away as that's all we wanted to see. And the jump was great but it's been done before. And while most of this was a mess, at least the terrific final minutes were worth it. **1/2

WWE NO MERCY

Los Angeles

     This was a big weekend of wrestling. When I say "big" I technically mean that the three big promotions had ppv's. They weren't "big" shows, they were all B-shows. This one, No Mercy, was set up to be a big show but ultimately failed thanks to a lackluster main event. Ring of Honor had Death by Dishonor on Friday night. It was a fun show but nothing spectacular. The main event was an atrocious, short bore between dull champ Cody and NJPW's Minoru Suzuki (who was once awesome...but he's gotten old and is involved in the NWO rip-off Suzuki Gun, which is a stale spectacle). NJPW had a B-show early Sunday that featured Kenny Omega in the main event defending his utterly pointless U.S. title for the first time against Juice Robinson (who, for whatever reason, doesn't do it for me). That match was okay. And to cap off the weekend we had this, a RAW ppv, and the first ppv since Summerslam.

ELIAS vs. APOLLO CREWS (8:35): I love Elias...but not his matches. He comes out and plays guitar and sings a song about how bad the city he's in is. It's always so stupid it's hilarious. In the ring he's same old. This was the only match on an ungodly long one hour pre-show. Crews would be a champ and star in a promotion like ROH. Here he's a forgotten loser. This was pure filler. * (out of ****)

THE MIZ vs. JASON JORDAN (10:15): The L.A. crowd booed the good guy, Jordan, and cheered the bad guy, The Miz. They also chanted, "This is awesome!" when both guys were laying on the mat. I guess they were being sarcastic? The Miz is a true star these days but his matches are still mediocre. Making Jordan be Kurt Angle's lost son as a story line hasn't really gone anywhere. Every title was retained tonight. This was just okay. **

FINN BALOR vs. BRAY WYATT (11:35): Good match, at least compared to their awfully dull Summerslam snooze. I think they realized how bad that match was so they decided to ramp up the action and drama. Wyatt beat up Balor before the bell and so he was being led away by the refs but decided to go back and fight anyway! The bell rang and it was all action which was good. Remember Wyatt was the Smackdown champ this year? I totally forgot that. **1/2

DEAN AMBROSE & SETH ROLLINS vs. CESARO & SHEAMUS (15:55): Cesaro hit teeth first into the metal ring post and his front teeth went up into his gums. His mouth was a bloody mess and everyone thought he had broken them off or something. He finished the match and it had some action and near falls. Decent. **

ALEXA BLISS vs. BAYLEY vs. EMMA vs. NIA JAX vs. SASHA BANKS (9:40): Short. Fast paced. Not bad. They all suplexed the fat Jax off the apron to the floor. Bliss retained. **

ROMAN REIGNS vs. JOHN CENA (22:05): The match of the night! Reigns speared Cena on top of the announce tables and through an announce table. Reigns kicked out Cena's AA finisher a bunch of times including one from the top rope (which was ridiculous). Cena sat in the ring after the match then slowly walked away as if this was a retirement match or something. The problem was that these are two good guy's fighting for no good reason or any titles. Maybe they should have nursed a feud for awhile to have made this meaningful. But it turned out to be good so who cares? ***

ENZO AMORE vs. NEVILLE (10:40): Amore, cast off from his tag team partner and flying solo, won the cruiserweight title when he kicked Neville in the balls when the ref had his back turned. Remember that Neville vs. Balor match on one of those NXT ppv's a few year's ago that was incredible? I haven't seen a good Neville match since then (and Balor isn't exactly lighting the world on fire these days, either). This was a joke but, hell, at least it gave the 205Live crew something fresh. *

BROCK LESNAR vs. BRAUN STROWMAN (9:00): I always rant about the WWE never properly building anything up. Well they built the hell out of this match. These two were supposed to wrestle in July but Somoa Joe got Braun's spot when Braun was injured. Then at Summerslam they had a four way that was crazy and had Braun putting Brock through two announce tables and sending him away on a stretcher. So this match was a fucking Wrestlemania event! Right? Wrong! It was too short. And after Braun beat up Lesnar, Lesnar put him in the arm lock and then won with an F5. Bye, bye momentum. Braun is a chump now. Way to destroy his monster character. I was hoping for tables and destruction but it turned out to be two lumbering guys that got tired way too fast. Disappointing to say the least. **

WWE SUMMERSLAM

Brooklyn

THE MIZ, CURTIS AXEL & BO DALLAS vs. THE HARDY BOYZ & JASON JORDAN (11:20): 13 matches! You think that this company would have learned their lesson from the way too long Wrestlemania this year which went from 5 to after midnight. This only went from a little after 5 to 11...so only 6 hours. Jesus Christ. This show was so long that during this match the building had only a few hundred people. It was totally embarrassing...especially considering The Hardy Boyz and The Miz are big stars. This was forgettable. And if no one was there to see it...did it really happen? 1/2* (out of ****) 

NEVILLE vs. AKIRA TOZAWA (11:45): Neville has been the cruiserweight champ forever. So when someone finally beat him it should have been a big deal, right? Nope. It was on RAW recently and I either didn't see it or don't remember it. It doesn't matter because Neville won back the title here in a so-so match. I wonder what Austin Aries is doing these days. *1/2

THE USO'S vs. THE NEW DAY (19:20): This was the last of the pre-show matches (the pre-show was ridiculously 2 hours long) and this was super entertaining and the best match of Summerslam. A ton of near fall's, a ton of action, a title change. It was wild and, this early, the crowd was alive and rapturous. ***1/2

JOHN CENA vs. BARON CORBIN (10:15): Cena is filming the Transformers spin-off film, Bumblebee, at the moment. He must not have a big part because he's been on every show and is facing Roman Reigns for no good reason at the next ppv. Corbin failed in his MITB cash in a week ago on Smackdown and lost here in a super dull match. I guess his push will never occur. That's a good thing. 1/2*

NATALYA vs. NAOMI (11:10): Natalya won the title. So where's Becky Lynch and Charlotte, the only two good women wrestlers on Smackdown? This at least had some action late. *1/2

BIG CASS vs. THE BIG SHOW (10:30): Enzo was in a shark cage above the ring...but he oiled himself, escaped, and then Cass kicked him in the face and he didn't do anything else after that. So what was the point of all this? It was the only watchable aspect of this boring match. 1/2*

RUSEV vs. RANDY ORTON (0:10): At least it was short! Orton won with the RKO as soon as the bell rang.

SASHA BANKS vs. ALEXA BLISS (13:10): Banks won the title here then lost it a week later to Bliss on RAW (I'm reviewing this late...or maybe I can see the future!). Bliss is hot and all but just doesn't have it when it comes to in-ring work. And the submission tap-out came out of nowhere depriving this match of drama. *1/2

FINN BALOR vs. BRAY WYATT (10:40): Why are these two dudes wrestling? Just because. *

DEAN AMBROSE & SETH ROLLINS vs. CESARO & SHEAMUS (18:35): This was basically a typical RAW main event. Ambrose and Rollins won the tag titles. It was basic with a hot finish. **

AJ STYLES vs. KEVIN OWENS (17:20): This was the best of their matches...but still not as good as what either man is capable of. Shane O'Mac was the special ref which is leading to a Shane/Owens match down the line. **1/2

JINDER MAHAL vs. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (11:25): Ugh. Jinder is, apparently, going to keep the title until Wrestlemania for some reason. The WWE is doing a tour in India in the Fall...plus maybe the WWE is trying to push their business in India. Plus Vince likes big steroid dudes and Jinder is jacked. The problem is that he's an incompetent wrestler and a so-so talker. Nakamura hasn't done much of anything good since is Zayn match debut. This sucked. 1/2*

BROCK LESNAR vs. SAMOA JOE vs. ROMAN REIGNS vs. BRAUN STROWMAN (20:45): This was awesome stuff. Braun was the crowd favorite. He slammed Lesnar through two announce tables then flipped one of the tables onto Brock. Brock was then carted off on a stretcher but returned to pin Reigns. The first ten minutes were brutal and crazy and wild and the best the WWE can do. The latter half was good but didn't reach the intense peak of the beginning. Good ending to a mostly poor show. ***

WWE BATTLEGROUND

Philly

AIDEN ENGLISH vs. TYE DILLINGER (9:54): This was a B-show ppv...meaning it's supposed to be the show with less wrestlers, right? So it should be...shorter? Nope. A mind-boggling hour pre-show (with this match) followed by a show that started at 8 PM and ended at 11:10 PM. Fuck! Eight matches in four hours and ten minutes? Ridiculous. As for this match...well, Dillinger would be a big star if they pushed him. He has the charisma, anyway. Aiden English is basically lost at sea these days since his tag-team partner quit the WWE. This was good, though. Basic. Pretty fast paced. It wasn't spectacular...but a hell of a lot better than most of this show. **1/2 (out of ****)

THE NEW DAY vs. THE USO'S (13:50): Good match. The best on the show. The crowd was hot and awake early, so that helped. A ton of near fall's and a lot of action. The New Day won the tag titles. ***

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. BARON CORBIN (12:25): Nakamura has been in NXT and WWE for a year and a half and has only had one good match, his first, against Sami Zayn. That's not saying a hell of a lot. Granted, he is wrestling cardboard cut-outs like Corbin, who's as entertaining as a slab of granite. Even the finish of this was lame. Corbin kicked Nakamura in the balls and lost by DQ. 1/2*

NATALYA vs. BECKY LYNCH vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. LANA vs. TAMINA (11:00): This was an elimination match to become the #1 contender for the women's title...a title not even defended on this show. The ppv's are supposed to be the big shows, right? So shouldn't they, like, defend all the titles? Anyway, this was fast-paced and there was a lot of action. Lana sucks and shouldn't be wrestling, and no one wants to see Natalya in a title match, but whatever. Charlotte and Lynch should just wrestle each other on Smackdown forever considering they're the only two competent ones. **1/2

KEVIN OWENS vs. AJ STYLES (17:50): These are two of the best wrestlers in the WWE...yet for some reason together they don't mesh. Their last match against each other was just okay and this was mostly flat. Owens won with a weird, out of nowhere pin. It looked like Styles lifted his shoulder but then remembered he was supposed to lose so dropped his shoulder. Styles did a 450 splash that was awesome. Otherwise, it felt like a typical TV match. Not bad...it's just that these two should be knocking it out of the park. **1/2

JOHN CENA vs. RUSEV "FLAG MATCH" (21:10): So boring. Ugh. This was twenty minutes of men trudging slowly around. They had to take the flag off the pole then carry it up the stand at the entrance way. Cena put Rusev through two tables and won. 1/2*

SAMI ZAYN vs. MIKE KANELLIS (7:15): Mike K. used to be in ROH. I saw him when he was in The Kingdom against The Young Bucks and AJ Styles at the ECW Arena two year's ago. It was awesome. This was not. Zayn is great but this was short filler. Still, Mike's "wife" at ringside, Maria, is looking as gorgeous as ever. So there was that. 1/2*

RANDY ORTON vs. JINDER MAHAL "PUNJABI PRISON MATCH" (27:40): Remember this? A double bamboo cage? They did it twice a decade ago when The Great Khali was around. He did come back at the end of this match to choke Orton and let Jinder escape the structure and win. This was match was slow, long, and terrible. The only exciting moment came when Orton pushed one of the Singh brothers off the cage and down through the announce table. Other than that this was just awful. First off, the rules are stupid. Inside the inner-cage, you can just climb out. So fucking climb out! No. Four doors are opened for 60 seconds and then locked forever. Okay...so just climb out then! No, they have to struggle with each other trying to get out of the doors for no good reason. And since Jinder won...that means he beat Orton at three straight ppv's. Nice! God, Smackdown fucking blows. 1/2*

WWE GREAT BALLS OF FIRE

Dallas, TX

Vince McMahon has a crude, silly sense of humor...so I'm guessing the title of this show was either his idea or he approved it. While it is an eye-catching title (perhaps that's the point; to get a B-show noticed in the summer doldrums), it makes zero sense. At least they could've thrown an Inferno match on the show. Or something.

NEVILLE vs. AKIRA TOZAWA (11:40): Good, basic match. They've put the 205 Live crew on the pre-show now. That, along with Austin Aries quitting last week, isn't a good sign for the cruiser weight division. **1/2

BRAY WYATT vs. SETH ROLLINS (12:10): Good match. Nothing special...but I'm so used to both of these guys putting me to sleep as of late that this was a revelation. Fast, action packed. **1/2

BIG CASS vs. ENZO AMORE (5:25): Ugh. This was a squash. Enzo gave a decent promo. They should just make him Cass' manager. 1/2*

THE HARDY BOYZ vs. SHEAMUS & CESARO "30 MINUTE IRON-MAN MATCH": The last five minutes were good. Calling this an iron man match after seeing Omega and Okada go 60 minutes without any pinfalls a few weeks ago is kind of ridiculous. Maybe call it a Bronze Man Match? Either way, The Hardy's are kind of dull without the Broken Matt gimmick. And Cesaro should be main eventing, not stuck in a tag team. This was hot at the end but mostly boring. **

SASHA BANKS vs. ALEXA BLISS (11:40): This was Bliss' best match maybe ever. That says a lot about how good Banks is. Multiple times it looked like Banks was paralyzed, concussed, or dead. Teach the rag doll how to take a bump or not be suicidal already. Bliss kept the title by count out. Bad end. But then Banks beat up Bliss by the entrance then jumped off the announce table by the entrance and did her double-knee land on Bliss's head. Payback's a bitch! Apparently. Every heel either won or kept their title tonight. Evil wins! Suckers. **

THE MIZ vs. DEAN AMBROSE (11:20): Okay match. The Miz was great on the post-show. They should only let him talk and not wrestle. And this never-ending feud goes on, like boats against the current, born back ceaselessly into the past. The Miz's new entourage, with Bray Wyatt's bro and Mr. Perfect's son, The Miztourage, is amusing. **

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. ROMAN REIGNS "AMBULANCE MATCH" (16:35): Okay match. Reigns pushed Strowman through the LED screen on the entrance. Reigns went for a spear but missed and flew into the ambulance and lost. Huh? After this, Reigns put Strowman into the ambulance and backed it up into a truck. The next match went on so they did a split-screen and then basically forgot another match was going on. The paramedics freed a bloody Strowman from the wreckage and he wandered off. The post-match stuff was probably more entertaining. **1/2

HEATH SLATER vs. CURT HAWKINS (2:10): This has to be one of the shortest matches in WWE history.

SAMOA JOE vs. BROCK LESNAR (6:25): Good match. Short but with a lot of action. Before the bell rang, Joe pushed Lesnar out of the ring and put him through the announce table. Then there were suplex's and Joe's sleeper hold. Lesnar turned the sleeper hold into an F5. This was Joe's best match in years. And Lesnar's first title defense of the Universal title. He won it at Wrestlemania. Ridiculous. ***

ROH BEST IN THE WORLD

from Lowell, Massachusetts
attendance: 2,500

EL TERRIBLE & ULTIMO GUERRERO vs. THE KINGDOM (11:10): Guerrero is 45 years old...so why does he look like he's a lot older? Like...ten years older. I've been watching CMLL on Friday nights lately so I see him all the time. He's kind of like Hulk Hogan at the end. The crowd pops for him and he entertains but he's older and slower and can't really hang with the young, fast dudes. But he has been doing this so long that he knows what works. The Kingdom are the opposite; young, brash, suicidal idiots. This was mediocre stuff. And if you're gonna fly some wrestlers all the way from Mexico to Massachusetts...why not bring some good ones like Dragon Lee? **

KAZARIAN vs. HANGMAN PAGE "STRAP MATCH" (12:06): They each had a leather strap attached to their wrist. At one point, Page brought out a strap with nails on it...and they both used it! Sick. Page usually wrestles in New Japan. He's actually much more entertaining doing this hardcore-style type of stuff than actual wrestling. This was mildly amusing. **

ALEX SHELLEY, CHRIS SABIN, JAY WHITE & JONATHAN GRESHAM vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN, KENNY KING, RHETT TITUS & SHANE TAYLOR (12:45): The losing team must disband. Really? Are there that many 4-man tag-team matches that this stipulation matters? Shelley and Sabin, the Motor City Machine Guns, are stellar. The rest are a mixed bag. There was a lot of action so it worked. **1/2

JAY LETHAL vs. SILAS YOUNG (16:40): Young is the so-called "Last Real Man." Because he's going bald and has a mustache? Post-match, Young's obese sidekick did a top rope splash down onto Lethal on a table. That was cool. **

DALTON CASTLE & THE BOYS vs. BULLY RAY & THE BRISCOE'S (13:45): Dalton's gimmick might be the zaniest and best in wrestling. His "boys" are natives that undress his coat and pants in the ring and are used as foot stools when he enters. It's so silly and ridiculous that it's awesome. So this was mostly pure comedy. It was somewhat entertaining. **

KUSHIDA vs. MARTY SCURLL (14:54): With these two superstars I figured this would be great. It didn't work. At all. I guess they don't mesh? Kushida kept his TV title here, which was a surprise since he lives and wrestles in Japan (he's wrestling Bushi in the main event on Tuesday in Tokyo for the Jr. Heavyweight title). It just never really heated up to much. And there were way too many submission holds to excite anyone. *1/2

THE YOUNG BUCKS vs. WAR MACHINE vs. BARETTA & CHUCKIE T (12:27): This was the best match on the show. Baretta (where's Romero?) and Chuckie T were a last minute addition. It was a typical Bucks match. Tons of flips, dives, craziness. ***

CODY vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (19:18): A typical, dull Cody match. He won the title here and next weekend is facing Okada for the NJPW title in Long Beach. Not sure why he's getting a global push since he's never been that exciting in the ring to produce anything worth watching. They did a ringside table break which was cool. And Daniel's always does some cool stuff like his Best Moonsault Ever. But this was a poor main event. *1/2

WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

from St. Louis
attendance: 15,932

THE HYPE BROS vs. THE COLONS (8:30): Mojo Rawley, part of the Hype bros tag team with Zack Ryder, seems pretty over. So why is he in this, a forgotten, mediocre pre-show match against a joke team while he's in a joke team? He did win the Andre the Giant Battle Royal at 'Mania this year. And I swear I haven't seen him since until tonight. *1/2

CARMELLA vs. CHARLOTTE vs. NATALYA vs. TAMINA vs. BECKY LYNCH "LADDER MATCH" (13:20): Well this, the first ever women's Money in the Bank ladder match was won by man. There's progress, feminism, modern thinking and (whatever else you want to come up with) right there. Carmella's manager (or whatever he is), James Ellsworth, climbed up and grabbed the briefcase for her. Oh, the controversy! Besides that, this match had only five wrestlers in it but the men's ladder match had six for some reason (depleted roster?). Oh, and this was probably the worst ladder match I've ever seen. No big bumps, no suicide dives, no spectacle. If you want the women to be on the level playing field with men then fucking do it right. Not this tame, short, dull, lifeless thing. Charlotte did a ladder-less top-rope flip twist to ringside which was cool...but this is a ladder match! Use the ladder! * 

THE NEW DAY vs. THE USO'S (12:00): Good, fast paced, competitive match. Bad ending, though, with the tag champ's, the Uso's, leaving and being counted out. **1/2

LANA vs. NAOMI (7:30): Horrible. Just...truly unwatchable. And this was a title match! -No Stars-

JINDER MAHAL vs. RANDY ORTON (20:50): They did the same thing they did last month. Orton put one of the Singh brother's through the announce table with a wicked RKO and then went back into the ring and Jinder hit his forgettable slam finish and kept the title. Honestly? Smackdown's title picture/program sucks. You should be having Nakamura vs. Styles or Owens vs. Zayn for the title. Not a dull amateur and an old, boring dude. **

BREEZANGO vs. THE ASCENSION (3:50): Palette cleanser. I seriously didn't think The Ascension still worked here. 1/2*

BARON CORBIN vs. AJ STYLES vs. KEVIN OWENS vs. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. SAMI ZAYN vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER "LADDER MATCH" (29:45): Good match but it didn't have a lot of carnage or big spots like we used to see. Zayn did a top of the ladder Blue Thunder Bomb on Ziggler which is basically a Hiromu Takahashi jump over and power-bomb maneuver. AJ slammed Owens onto a ladder bridge at ringside. Zayn gave Owens a Dragon Suplex on the edge of the ring. Zayn pushed Owens off the top rope and onto a ladder that was laying down open. Corbin hit Nakamura before the match with a ladder so Nakamura was out for twenty minutes until his big return. They did a cool spot where AJ and Nakamura faced off and pushed the ladder out of the way just to wrestle each other. Corbin, the obvious worst choice, won. And so goes another Smackdown! ppv. Hopefully this stupid split ends soon because last week both RAW and Smackdown scored record low ratings plus John Cena is returning July 4th as a free agent to roam both shows. **1/2

NJPW DOMINION

from Osaka, Japan

DAVID FINLAY, SHOTA UMINO & TOMOYUKI OTA vs. HIRAI KAWATO, KATSYUA KITAMURA & TETSUHIRO YAGI (7:37): This was a pre-show match featuring the rookies, aka The Young Lions. Also David Finlay for some reason. Mildly entertaining but forgettable. **

TIGER MASK, TIGER MASK W, TOGI MAKABE & YUJI NAGATA vs. HIROYOSHI TENZAN, JUSHIN THUNDER LIGER, MANABU  NAKANISHI & SATOSHI KOJIMA (7:01): Tiger Mask W is really one of the best wrestlers on the planet (Kota Ibushi)...so why is he dressing up as an Anime character and only wrestling once in a blue moon? Who the fuck knows. Nagata is 49 years old. Liger is 52. Nakanishi is 50. Why are they still doing this? Alas, these questions are more interesting than this match was. **

LOS IGNOBERNABLES vs. BULLET CLUB vs. CHAOS vs. SUZUKI GUN vs. TAGUCHI JAPAN (18:39): Two teams started this match and the winner moved on and the losers went home until a final champion was crowned. Bushi, Evil, and Sanada retained their 3-man tag title belts. Ricochet was fun to watch. Taichi bored us with his mediocrity. And where was Ospreay? He wasn't even on this show. This was fast paced and fun, albeit for a stupid belt. **1/2

THE YOUNG BUCKS vs. RAPPONGI VICE (14:14): The Bucks won back their Jr. tag titles here in a good match that, sadly, wasn't as entertaining as their usual matches are. They're usually better doing fun, silly, crazy matches like the ROH Hardy Boyz matches from earlier this year or even their match on Friday with Omega vs. Rappongi Vice and Okada. The last couple of years they were constantly in these three or four tag team cluster fuck matches with reDragon and Sydal and Ricochet and everyone complained that they did them too much but, hell, these two team matches aren't as good. Oh, well. **1/2

GUERRILLAS OF DESTINY vs. WAR MACHINE (10:43): The Guerrillas won the tag titles here in an okay match. War Machine are two fat, bearded guys that for some reason the Japanese crowds love (it reminds them of Sumo wrestling? Or they rarely see fat people in Japan?). The Guerillas have gotten better but are still pretty bland. **

CODY vs. MICHAEL ELGIN (11:53): An average bore. Cody is facing Okada for the title in Long Beach next month so that's why he won. Cody is one of the most dull wrestlers on the planet. I think the WWE realized this years ago and that's why they stuck him with the ridiculous, out-there Stardust gimmick. Elgin is in good matches sometimes (at last year's Dominion he tore the house down with Omega in a ladder match) but this just was lifeless. 1/2*

KUSHIDA vs. HIROMU TAKAHASHI (19:12): Good match. It was better than their Wrestle Kingdom match. Takahashi has the coolest move in wrestling but it probably should be outlawed. He runs and jumps over the opponent on the ring apron and power bombs him onto the floor. Well he did this to Kushida and Kushida landed head first right on the back of his skull. If that padding wasn't there his skull probably would have cracked. The story here was that Kushida basically went heel to win. Or at least, to a new level of brutality to get the title. He kicked Takahashi multiple times in the head and the crowd booed. Then he put Takahashi's arm in the Hoverboard Lock and twisted his wrist back in a gruesome display and Takashi quit. This wasn't as good as the Ospreay vs. Kushida match from last week nor the Dragon Lee vs. Takashi match in February. But it was the best match on this show. ***

MINORU SUZUKI vs. HIROOKI GOTO "LUMBERJACK DEATH MATCH" (16:00): I miss Shibata. And I'm not sure why this was a "death" match. Suzuki was in the match of the year three year's ago against AJ Styles but so far this year he's been kind of bland. His Suzuki Gun group is like the NWO when the NWO was old and lame. Suzuki retained the NEVER title. This was nothing special. **

HIROSHI TANAHASHI vs. TETSUYA NAITO (25:56): The final ten minutes were awesome. Tanahashi and Naito had one of the year's best matches at Wrestle Kingdom but this was about half as good. Tanahashi hurt his bicep at the ECW Arena last month and just came back Friday. Usually that injury takes six months to heal. So, yes, he's an idiot for returning so soon. Most of the match had Naito working the injured arm. But the end was high drama and two-counts and it was mesmerizing stuff. **1/2

KENNY OMEGA vs. KAZUCHIKA OKADA (60:00): How would they top their first match, the 47 minute epic that Dave Meltzer gave 6 stars and some said was the greatest match of all time? Do a sixty minute draw! Huh? The problem with the first match was that it started slow. I thought they might try a shorter, faster paced match. No. The last ten minutes of this had both men basically laying on the ground or draped on the ropes dead tired for long stretches. The crowd was a silent tomb when the match ended in a draw (NJPW title matches have a 60 minute time limit for some reason). Both guys did all their spots that they did at Wrestle Kingdom with some tweaks. Omega did his top rope moonsault. Okada did a top rope elbow through Omega on a ringside table. Omega kicked out of the Rainmaker. Omega hit his finisher, the One-Winged Angel, but Okada put his foot on the ropes at the two and a half count. By the end they were delivering big moves but too tired to pin one another. Okada hit a Rainmaker and was crawling over for the pin when the bell rang. This was a good match, great in spots, but way too long. It was not as good as their first match in January. Last year, Okada and Tanahashi wrestled to a 30 minute draw in the G1 tournament. That ending was ecstatic; big moves and near-falls and both guys racing to win. This was the opposite. Both men were too tired to race for the pin. It didn't help that they didn't put a countdown clock on the screen. And the draw was a letdown here, even though last year the Okada/Tanahashi draw didn't feel like a letdown. So now, honestly, what the hell do they do next? An eighty minute match? ***

WWE EXTREME RULES

from Baltimore
attendance: 11,769

KALISTO vs. APOLLO CREWS (9:40): This was the best match on the show...and it was on the frigging pre-show (and a WWE commercial aired halfway through it). Kalisto should be on 205 Live and in the cruiserweight division. It helped here that Crews does a lot of flips and high flying so the two meshed well. I'm going to take a wild guess that Kalisto watched the superb Will Ospreay vs. Kushida Best of the Super Juniors finals match in NJPW on Saturday night because Kalisto did some insane stuff here. He did a flip to the floor after bouncing off the top rope ass first from the corner. I don't even know what the fuck that's called...dangerous? These two were back and forth with leaps and dives and 2 counts and it just made you wonder why they're mired in the WWE's forgotten low-card wasteland. These two would have been stars in the BOTSJ tournament. Here, in Baltimore, they were at least crowd favorites while it lasted. *** (out of ****)

THE MIZ vs. DEAN AMBROSE (20:00): The Miz is a star now thanks to the brand split. He's still not in the main event title picture, probably because no one can fathom a Brock Lesnar vs. Miz match. Having his model/bimbo wife at ringside certainly helped his recent surge because his wrestling ability has never been as good as his mic work. This heated up at the end when The Miz attempted to get Ambrose DQ'd (the stip was that Ambrose could lose the title if he was DQ'd...such an extreme rule). The Miz got Maryse to slap him to get a DQ...then pushed the ref from behind and blamed it on Ambrose. Eventually, Ambrose was distracted and The Miz hit is finisher and won the coveted IC title. This was mostly boring and same-old. *1/2

RICH SWANN & SASHA BANKS vs. ALICIA FOX & NOAM DAR (6:20): The WWE did a mixed tag-team match at 'Mania...so why not another one? Unfortunately, this was too short to ever really turn into much of anything. The women's revolution has apparently died prematurely. 1/2*

ALEXA BLISS vs. BAYLEY "SINGAPORE CANE ON A POLE MATCH" (5:20): Bliss is cute...if you like caked on makeup, giant fake eyelashes that look like praying mantis' legs, and the look of a 17 year old cheerleader. But like any oasis, there isn't anything there besides looks. This was super short for a title match. Bliss pretty much won easily after hitting Bayley with the cane and then tossing her head first into the cane lodged against the turnbuckles. I'm baffled at why there wasn't any drama or near-falls. But, let's be honest; how great can anything on a pole match be? 1/2*

CESARO & SHEAMUS vs. THE HARDY BOYZ "STEEL CAGE MATCH" (15:00): Yawn. The only way to win was for both guys on each team to escape the cage. That meant that this was all people climbing up the cage only to be thwarted. That gets stale. Jeff did a twist/flip off the top of the cage, the lone highlight. Cesaro & Sheamus won the titles. *

NEVILLE vs. AUSTIN ARIES "SUBMISSION MATCH" (17:35): These two are great but have yet to have a great match against one another. This was mostly average stuff. And since when is a submission match extreme? **

SOMOA JOE vs. ROMAN REIGNS vs. FINN BALOR vs. SETH ROLLINS vs. BRAY WYATT "EXTREME RULES MATCH" (29:15): This wasn't very good for twenty minutes. The last ten minutes had a table spot and a broken barricade spot and some high drama that saved it. Joe was the favorite and won by putting Finn in the sleeper hold. So the next RAW ppv has Joe, a heel, vs. Brock Lesnar, a heel, for the title. Huh. That match will probably suck. Joe is past his prime and doesn't have a chance. They're saving Roman vs. Brock for Summerslam. I'd have rather seen a Finn vs. Brock match. But I was glad to see Seth Rollins jumping off the top rope and through Bray Wyatt on the announcer's table. That was the best moment of this not-so-great show. **1/2

WWE BACKLASH

from Rosemont, Illinois

TYE DILLINGER vs. AIDEN ENGLISH (8:20): It was a hell of a good week for pro-wrestling...until this show occurred. New Japan started their Best of the Super Juniors tournament on Wednesday and three matches on the first two shows were excellent (Dragon Lee vs. Takahashi, Ospreay vs. Scurll, and Ospreay vs. Ricochet). NXT Takeover Chicago happened last night in the same building as this show and had, by far, WWE's best match of 2017 when Pete Dunn beat Tyler Bate for the U.K. title. The crowd for the NXT show was also ecstatic. Tonight in the same building the crowd was fairly pedestrian. I guess because this card wasn't all that great? Or...NXT fan's are older, hardcore fans. Either way, this pre-show match was forgettable like the majority of this show. Aiden English's tag team partner quit WWE so English is now stuck jobbing to guys. Dillinger, the "perfect ten," is above average but, still, he's wrestling Aiden English on the pre-show. *

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (15:50): This was Nakamura's WWE in-ring debut (he wrestled in NXT since March of 2016...coincidentally, his last great match was in March '16 against Zayn). Dolph is just okay, and Nakamura is charismatic and all but this was in no way, shape, or form a classic Nakamura NJPW type of match. Yes, Ziggler isn't Okada, AJ Sytles, or Tanahashi (few are)...but what does it mean? That Nakamura isn't that good? That he was only great in NJPW because of his stellar opponents? I guess time will tell. This was kind of dull. **

THE USO'S vs. BREEZANGO (9:15): I laughed. Tyler Breeze and Fandango are doing a hilarious Fashion Police routine on Smackdown. So, being police, Breeze went undercover during this match and dressed up as a janitor with a mop and then an old lady with a walker...in the ring! While wrestling! The crowd chanted for the mop and then for "grandma!" It was amusing. Fandango also did a very cool, over the top rope back flip maneuver to the floor (is he studying Ospreay's tapes?). So this entertained me. **1/2

SAMI ZAYN vs. BARON CORBIN (14:35): Zayn is awesome, one of the best wrestlers in the WWE. But even he couldn't get Baron out of his boring, zombie-crawl offense. Corbin is supposedly Vince's next big star. Wonder why he sucks and lost here? *1/2

NATALYA, CARMELLA & TAMINA vs. CHARLOTTE, NAOMI & BECKY LYNCH (10:05): Forgettable. Forgotten. They should have done a title match instead, right? Since this was the first Smackdown ppv since February. It was a typical TV melee. *1/2

KEVIN OWENS vs. AJ STYLES (21:10): I thought that this would have been better. AJ has been in great matches so far in his WWE career (against Dolph, Ambrose, Cena, and Reigns). Owens was in some classic matches against Cena...two year's ago. This was good, just not a classic we all expected. The finish had AJ being counted out when he got his foot tangled in the wires on the announce table. Groan. The story during the match was Owens working on AJ's damaged leg. Yawn. Hopefully, the rematch is better. **1/2

LUKE HARPER vs. ERICK ROWAN (9:00): This felt like a half an hour...yet it only went nine minutes. Seriously, who gives a fuck about these two? They're big guys so their moves all seemed brutal and devastating...but the crowd snored. 1/2*

JINDER MAHAL vs. RANDY ORTON (15:45): Was Jinder Mahal even on TV before April? I vaguely remember him. I guess he took Rusev's spot as the #1 heel on Smackdown because Rusev got injured. Or the WWE wants to promote their business in India since Mahal is from India. Mahal is a jobber, though. A total loser who was pushed, surprisingly, to the main event for no good reason and shockingly won the title here in a so-so match. I guess if he had lost he would have been back to the R. Truth pile so a win makes sense. Plus, Randy Orton is been-there-done-that. It would help if Jinder was, like, exciting and a good wrestler. He's not. I can't even remember the moves he did in this match besides some forgettable slams. Mahal has two Indian boys that helped him win. Orton tossed them on their heads on the announce table at one point and it surprised me that they're both not paralyzed. This was a surprise of an ending...so this show had that. It's...er...something. **

WWE PAYBACK

from San Jose, CA

ENZO AMORE & BIG CASS vs. LUKE GALLOWS & KARL ANDERSON (6:35): This was a pre-show match. I'll admit it: I'm sick of these four. Amore and Cass are at least mildly amusing on the mic. Gallows and Anderson are so dull they were even boring in NJPW, which is hard to do. This was short, typical, forgotten. *

MIZ TV with FINN BALOR: Good segment. I liked that this was a "skit" and so the show wasn't just three and a half hours of wrestling. And The Miz is great when he's talking (and Maryse is by his side). This led to a #1 Contenders match on RAW for the IC title (Balor vs. Miz vs. Seth Rollins) that was so much better than any match on this card (Miz won).

CHRIS JERICHO vs. KEVIN OWENS (17:55): Surprise, surprise. Jericho is leaving the WWE to go tour with his band...so he was definitely going to lose. He didn't! He won the U.S. title and is headed to Smackdown for...what? A week or two? This match was better than their Mania match but pretty average. **1/2

AUSTIN ARIES vs. NEVILLE (11:20): Good match, albeit Aries won by DQ when Neville grabbed the ref instead of tapping out. This was a lot better than their Mania match (a trend?) but the non-finish destroyed it's greatness. ***

THE HARDY BOYZ vs. CESARO & SHEAMUS (12:45): Sheamus, who pretty much legit retired Daniel Bryan by having brutally stiff matches with him at the end, kicked Jeff Hardy in the face and Hardy lost a front tooth. After the match, Cesaro and Sheamus turned heel and beat up The Hardy's. This was mostly boring. Where, oh where, is Broken Matt and Brother Nero? *1/2

ALEXA BLISS vs. BAYLEY (11:15): Ugh. Vince loves to see his wrestlers lose and/or be humiliated in their home town. Why? Apparently to get "heel heat," which Dave Meltzer says is hard to get (not that hard...if you write a good script for once). So Bayley lost her title in her home town to the cute, blonde pixie. Considering Bayley isn't that over on the main roster...maybe this was dumb. A so-so match. *1/2

BRAY WYATT vs. RANDY ORTON "HOUSE OF HORRORS" (17:10): We all wondered what a HOH match was. Well it's just a low-class, white-trash, meth den...apparently. Half of this was pre-taped. Orton showed up in a limo to the house at night (the ppv was in California so it was still light out in real life). A tractor crossed the lawn without a driver. Scary! And the door to the house was locked. So...Wyatt made the match. Why'd he lock the door? I thought he wanted the match? It got worse. The house was just a dirty house. One room had hanging baby dolls from the ceiling. The two fake punched each other. Wyatt tossed a refrigerator onto Orton and left. After the Rollins/Joe match, these two came to the ring and continued to wrestle and Wyatt won. But this wasn't for Orton's title. And as silly and non-scary as this was (a house of horrors should have spiders, blood, bats, snakes...something frightening, right?), at least it entertained me. It was so stupid it was funny. And it now goes into lore alongside the Kennel from Hell match and other atrocities. **

SETH ROLLINS vs. SAMOA JOE (15:55): These two, for whatever reason, just aren't as entertaining as they once were. Joe is too old I guess. And the match was basic. *1/2

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. ROMAN REIGNS (11:50): This was boring. Strowman tipped over an ambulance with Reigns in it two weeks ago on RAW but Reigns was still here and alive. His shoulder was taped up and so that's why he lost...he wasn't 100%. Strowman is big but dull. Reigns is only in good matches when wrestling someone awesome like AJ Styles. After the match, they were putting Reigns in another ambulance but Reigns thwarted Strowman and tossed him into the ambulance door then slammed it on him. This all leads to Brock Lesnar vs. Strowman for the Universal title...in July. Fuck. This show was in
April. *1/2

WWE WRESTLEMANIA XXXIII

From The Citrus Bowl in Orlando, FL

When the final list of matches for this show was announced, a lot of fans noted that it was gonna be a long night. Which means we shouldn't have been surprised that this was the longest Wrestlemania in history and perhaps the longest pro-wrestling show in the U.S. ever. It didn't matter that we figured it'd go long...but this fucking long? The first match on the pre-show started around 5:45 PM and the whole show ended at 12:13 AM. That's right. 6 1/2 hours long. Perhaps Wrestlemania will just turn into the Oscars, always going long and pissing off everyone and never changing, or maybe they'll cut things next year and wake up. They could make it a two-night event. Hell, this show could've been broken up into four nights. Alas, this show had it's moments. It was entertaining but just way too long.

Pre-Show:

NEVILLE vs. AUSTIN ARIES (15:40): Neville retained the title here in a so-so match. Jack Gallagher actually had a much better match last month at Fastlane. Perhaps Aries is too old these days or these two don't mesh or the tepid crowd response didn't help. Aries did land on his head in one gruesome moment when Neville German suplexed him. Neville raked Aries' eyes to cheat and to win. ** (out of ****)

THE ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL (MOJO RAWLEY) (14:07): The major story wasn't that Major won (who?), it was that the New England Patriots' Rob Gronkowski jumped out of the crowd to help him win. The big fat Irish dude from NXT, Killain Dain, was also one of the stars. The Big Show and Braun Strauman got eliminated early. It was entertaining. **1/2

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BARON CORBIN (10:55): Ugh. These two had a great hardcore match on Smackdown two days after Wrestlemania where tables were smashed and chairs were used. This was just two dudes wrestling with a dead crowd waiting for the real show to start. *

Main Card:

AJ STYLES vs. SHANE McMAHON (20:35): Good match. Shane did his usual stuff (top rope elbow drop through the announce table, a post to post Van Terminator trashcan spot) but no high altitude suicide drop. Shane did a Shooting Star press and landed on his knees instead of flat. AJ is great and all and the match was good but, c'mon, the best wrestler in the world should be in a long, title match against a top-notch opponent on the biggest show of the year. ***

KEVIN OWENS vs. CHRIS JERICHO (16:20): This was actually pretty forgettable. Jericho is funny on the mic but not exactly a spring chicken in the ring. Owens did all of his patented spots and won. It was average. **

BAYLEY vs. SASHA BANKS vs. CHARLOTTE vs. NIA JAX (12:08): Good match, but a 1 on 1 longer, epic title battle would have been  better. They teamed up to eliminate Nia first. Banks was eliminated next and Bayley pinned Charlotte to keep the title. The highlight was Charlotte doing a top rope moonsault/twist to the floor. **1/2

THE HARDY BOYZ vs. LUKE GALLOWS & KARL ANDERSON vs. CESARO & SHEAMUS vs. ENZO AMORE & BIG CASS "LADDER MATCH" (11:05): The loudest the crowd got all night was when The New Day came out and announced that this match would now be a Fatal Four Way and the new team in it would be...The Hardy Boyz! The place went berserk. The Hardy Boyz were in a ladder match on Saturday night in ROH against The Young Bucks...so, yes, it was a surprise that they were here. And this turned out to be the match of the night. It wasn't one of the best ladder matches ever or anything, but the crowd went nuts and Jeff Hardy did a Swanton off the Big Dog ladder at ringside onto Sheamus and Cesaro laid out on two ladder bridges. It was a fucking spectacle. ***

NIKKI BELLA & JOHN CENA vs. THE MIZ & MARYSE (9:40): Short, average match. But after the match, Cena proposed to Nikki and she said yes and it was a cool moment. She should have said no, kicked him the balls and went and made out with The Miz...but Vince Russo isn't writing this shit anymore. **

SETH ROLLINS vs. HHH (25:30): This was the longest match on the show...and the crowd yawned. Rollins did do some cool top rope jumps even though his knee was supposed to be injured. Stephanie went through a table at ringside when Seth shoved HHH and HHH knocked her off the apron. That got a big pop. But most of this was pretty dull. **

BRAY WYATT vs. RANDY ORTON (10:30): They had an awesome set with a big Earth globe and a rollercoaster and a walkway down to the ring that was also a video screen. When Orton walked down to the ring a viper snake followed him down on the screen. That was neat. And three times during the match a video projection filled up the ring with bugs and worms and things for no real good reason. I guess Wyatt is friends with the guys in the production truck? Orton won the title here with an RKO out of nowhere. There really was no drama or build. This was short, it was late, who cares? Wyatt just won the title at the last Smackdown PPV. What a title reign! *1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. GOLDBERG (4:45): Good match. As good as it could be, really. Goldberg took bumps! Ten German suplexes! Lesnar kicked out of the Jackhammer. Goldberg also speared Lesnar through the guardrail at ringside. All big moves, all action. And Lesnar won the Universal title. ***

NAOMI vs. ALEXA BLISS vs. CARMELLA vs. MICKIE JAMES vs. NATALYA vs. BECKY LYNCH (5:35): Someone complained that the Smackdown Women's Title shouldn't be defended on the pre-show so they moved it to the dead spot. Nice. This was very short and chaotic and a mess and just okay. Naomi, who's from Orlando, won the title. *1/2

THE UNDERTAKER vs. ROMAN REIGNS (23:05): The worst match on the show was saved for last! Reigns won in a botch-filled, ugly match. 'Taker did get speared and slammed through the announce table. That was the one entertaining moment. 'Taker is too old so it's good that he retired. After he lost he laid his jacket, gloves, and hat in the ring and left. They kicked out of everything of course but this was just awful. The retirement thing was a good "big" ending but at this point, past midnight, we all just wanted to either go home or go to bed. *

 

WWE FAST LANE

from Milwaukee

RICH SWANN & AKIRA TOZAWA vs. BRIAN KENDRICK & NOAM DAR (9:25): A pre-show match. There was one moment when Swann flipped over the top rope to the floor and Tozawa jumped through the ropes to the floor simultaneously that was great. Unfortunately, that was it. *1/2 (out of ****)

SOMOA JOE vs. SAMI ZAYN (9:45): Maybe it's because Joe is past his prime (he hasn't been in a really good match in NXT or in the WWE) or maybe it's because this was a one-sided, beat down bore. But this was an awful match. Zayn is awesome when let loose (his match a year ago against Nakamura made my Top 10 Best Matches of the year list). But lately he's been a punching bag. On the first NXT WWE Network special, Cesaro and Zayn had a fantastic match. But look at what they're doing with Cesaro and Zayn now, a few years later. They're completely wasting two of the most talented wrestlers on the roster. It's just sad. Can you imagine how awesome a Joe vs. Zayn match would be today in PWG or ROH? Keep dreaming. -No Stars-

LUKE GALLOWS & KARL ANDERSON vs. ENZO AMORE & BIG CASS (8:40): Gallows and Anderson retained the tag titles in this duller than dull match. This show had a ton of matches under ten minutes yet still didn't end until 11:05 PM. Yawn. 1/2*

SASHA BANKS vs. NIA JAX (8:15): Banks won with a pseudo-small package. It looked like Banks was supposed to hold the ropes to cheat to win but she couldn't reach them. Everyone does say that Banks was better as a heel in NXT. This was forgettable. 1/2*

CESARO vs. JINDER MAHAL (8:20): An un-announced match. Yay! This was basic. The crowd was a silent tomb. 1/2*

THE BIG SHOW vs. RUSEV (8:45): Show punched Rusev in the face while Rusev was sitting down against the ropes in the corner which led to the pin. This was another un-announced match. Also, Rusev got a haircut and it was perhaps the most memorable thing here. *

NEVILLE vs. JACK GALLAGHER (12:10): Good match and by far the match of the night. After Honma in NJPW was injured on Friday taking a botched DDT, seeing all of these brutal landing-on-their-head moments was sickening. Maybe get a coach to show these guys how to be a little more safe? It was dramatic and entertaining, though. This was the best cruiser weight match the WWE's had all year. ***

ROMAN REIGNS vs. BRAUN STROWMAN (17:20): It wasn't awful, which I guess is a compliment. Strowman was pinned for the first time. Reigns was put through a ring side announce table. After Strowman missed a top-rope splash, Reigns speared him for the win. **

BAYLEY vs. CHARLOTTE (16:55): Botch City. These two were a mess tonight, particularly Bayley. This was the surprise of the night, as everyone figured Charlotte would win the continue her PPV win streak. Sasha Banks interfered but the ref didn't care. **

GOLDBERG vs. KEVIN OWENS (0:22): Owens stalled at ringside. When he finally entered, Jericho's music hit and Jericho came out. Owens was shocked. So Goldberg speared and Jack Hammered Owens and won the title. Yes, a 49 year old part timer who just came out of a ten year retirement is the WWE champion and headlining Wrestlemania. Groan. *

WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER

Phoenix, Arizona

MOJO RAWLEY vs. CURT HAWKINS (8:05): Who are these two? One of them is Zack Ryder's tag team partner. So that makes the other one...? This was a pre-show match. And I was mostly watching the Grammy's while watching this. -No Stars-

BECKY LYNCH vs. MICKIE JAMES (11:40): So Smackdown doesn't have a large roster (one reason that The Miz is suddenly a big star), and six top guys were in the main event, which meant this show had three women's matches. Now I like women's matches if they're good, but let's face it: 90% of all women's matches suck (usually the one's not involving Charlotte, Bayley, or Sasha against each other...and they're all on RAW). And all three on this show were awful. I should also admit, besides watching the Grammy's while watching this show, that yesterday, New Japan had a big show yesterday. So, really, try watching anything after Dragon Lee vs. Hiromu Takahashi and it'll look like paint drying. 1/2*

KALISTO & APOLLO CREWS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (7:20): Ziggler is a heel now. So why is the heel facing two men? Isn't that a baby face position? Logic! Does the WWE care? Eh. Crews looks like Bobby Lashley. Kalisto should be on 205Live. And this was dull. *

AMERICAN ALPHA vs. THE ASCENSION vs. THE USO'S vs. HEATH SLATER & RHYNO vs. THE VAUDEVILLAINS vs. BREEZANGO (21:10): Jesus. Look at this shit. This is the tag team division? I guess AA are decent. Their match against The Revival at that NXT: Takeover last year was great. So why are they not great now? This was a tag-team turmoil match. Meaning two teams started and the winner went on to face another team and so on. AA beat The Ascension at the end to keep their titles. This was average. **

NIKKI BELLA vs. NATALYA (13:40): A no-contest. Some nice brawling. They should have gave Nikki the win since she's in a big Wrestlemania match teaming with her real life boyfriend, John Cena, against The Miz and Maryse. I guess they wanted to continue this boring feud. *1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. LUKE HARPER (17:15): Harper broke free from The Wyatt Family again. Remember he did that a few year's ago? I guess the writer's are out of ideas. Or...out of good ideas. Why is Orton in the Wyatt family? Remember when Daniel Bryan joined the Wyatt family? That was pointless. I don't think they realize that joining or leaving that family isn't compelling. Do they think it's like when people joined or left the NWO and the Wolfpac? An entertaining shocker! Well it's not. It's just a lifeless, tired plot. And this match was a stale TV match. Yawn. *1/2

ALEXA BLISS vs. NAOMI (8:20): Bliss is hot. End positive attributes. I mean...she can't wrestle. And wasn't Naomi a back-up dancer to that fat wrestler when she started? I totally forget his name but he's in TNA now. Well Naomi is the champ now. Did I mention Will Ospreay's performance against Shibata yesterday? Why am I not reviewing that show? 1/2*

BRAY WYATT vs. JOHN CENA vs. AJ STYLES vs. THE MIZ vs. DEAN AMBROSE vs. BARON CORBIN "ELIMINATION CHAMBER" (34:20) So Wyatt is finally champion. Took long enough. Although I'm not complaining. The only good match he's ever been in was that Royal Rumble match against Daniel Bryan two year's ago. Right? Wyatt is not known for good matches. He's not bad, he's just fat and slow and not that exciting. His cult-leader gimmick is his saving grace. And he pinned AJ Styles to win here. Cena lost the title he had just won two week's ago. The chamber was new. They made it higher so the wrestler's can stand and fight on top of the pods. Also the chain floor on the sides was replaced with boards. This was a good match but nothing special. If you want something special, go watch the last fifteen minutes of that Naito/Elgin match.
**1/2