Sunday, February 12, 2017

WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER

Phoenix, Arizona


MOJO RAWLEY vs. CURT HAWKINS (8:05): Who are these two? One of them is Zack Ryder's tag team partner. So that makes the other one...? This was a pre-show match. And I was mostly watching the Grammy's while watching this. -No Stars-

BECKY LYNCH vs. MICKIE JAMES (11:40): So Smackdown doesn't have a large roster (one reason that The Miz is suddenly a big star), and six top guys were in the main event, which meant this show had three women's matches. Now I like women's matches if they're good, but let's face it: 90% of all women's matches suck (usually the one's not involving Charlotte, Bayley, or Sasha against each other...and they're all on RAW). And all three on this show were awful. I should also admit, besides watching the Grammy's while watching this show, that yesterday, New Japan had a big show yesterday. So, really, try watching anything after Dragon Lee vs. Hiromu Takahashi and it'll look like paint drying. 1/2*

KALISTO & APOLLO CREWS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (7:20): Ziggler is a heel now. So why is the heel facing two men? Isn't that a baby face position? Logic! Does the WWE care? Eh. Crews looks like Bobby Lashley. Kalisto should be on 205Live. And this was dull. *

AMERICAN ALPHA vs. THE ASCENSION vs. THE USO'S vs. HEATH SLATER & RHYNO vs. THE VAUDEVILLAINS vs. BREEZANGO (21:10): Jesus. Look at this shit. This is the tag team division? I guess AA are decent. Their match against The Revival at that NXT: Takeover last year was great. So why are they not great now? This was a tag-team turmoil match. Meaning two teams started and the winner went on to face another team and so on. AA beat The Ascension at the end to keep their titles. This was average. **

NIKKI BELLA vs. NATALYA (13:40): A no-contest. Some nice brawling. They should have gave Nikki the win since she's in a big Wrestlemania match teaming with her real life boyfriend, John Cena, against The Miz and Maryse. I guess they wanted to continue this boring feud. *1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. LUKE HARPER (17:15): Harper broke free from The Wyatt Family again. Remember he did that a few year's ago? I guess the writer's are out of ideas. Or...out of good ideas. Why is Orton in the Wyatt family? Remember when Daniel Bryan joined the Wyatt family? That was pointless. I don't think they realize that joining or leaving that family isn't compelling. Do they think it's like when people joined or left the NWO and the Wolfpac? An entertaining shocker! Well it's not. It's just a lifeless, tired plot. And this match was a stale TV match. Yawn. *1/2

ALEXA BLISS vs. NAOMI (8:20): Bliss is hot. End positive attributes. I mean...she can't wrestle. And wasn't Naomi a back-up dancer to that fat wrestler when she started? I totally forget his name but he's in TNA now. Well Naomi is the champ now. Did I mention Will Ospreay's performance against Shibata yesterday? Why am I not reviewing that show? 1/2*

BRAY WYATT vs. JOHN CENA vs. AJ STYLES vs. THE MIZ vs. DEAN AMBROSE vs. BARON CORBIN "ELIMINATION CHAMBER" (34:20) So Wyatt is finally champion. Took long enough. Although I'm not complaining. The only good match he's ever been in was that Royal Rumble match against Daniel Bryan two year's ago. Right? Wyatt is not known for good matches. He's not bad, he's just fat and slow and not that exciting. His cult-leader gimmick is his saving grace. And he pinned AJ Styles to win here. Cena lost the title he had just won two week's ago. The chamber was new. They made it higher so the wrestler's can stand and fight on top of the pods. Also the chain floor on the sides was replaced with boards. This was a good match but nothing special. If you want something special, go watch the last fifteen minutes of that Naito/Elgin match.
**1/2

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