< 1999 YEAR END AWARDS >

    The year in wrestling has come to a close. WCW started with Kevin Nash laying down for ‘Hollywood’ Hogan and the Wolfpac and Black & White combining forces for a brand new N.W.O. WCW ended ’99 with a new silver and black N.W.O. with new members Jeff Jarrett and Bret Hart. WWF kicked off 1999 with Mankind as champ and ended with The Big Show as champ. Vince McMahon eventually became good again and Stephanie turned bad. ECW kicked off ’99 with The Franchise as champ and ended with Mike Awesome reigning supreme. We saw Taz and The Dudley Boyz leave to go to Stamford, Connecticut.
    It was a momentous year for wrestling, albeit a harrowful one with the deaths of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, and Gorilla Monsoon. But there were triumphs. RAW set a ratings record with an 8.1 one night. Stone Cold regained the title in Philly at Wrestlemania. The WWF’s writers stormed away and hopped aboard the newly revamped WCW. Nitro is back to 2 hours this week and Thunder moves to Wednesdays shortly. Things are changing. ECW premiered nationally on TNN and New Jack was found not-guilty in a wrasslin’ related case against an overweight bleeder.
    It was a great year for wrestling, and here are my picks for the best of the year. From hardcore king to best champ to best ppv to best federation. Enjoy:

Best Pay Per View: ECW’s HARDCORE HEAVEN (May)
    ECW always puts out the best pay per vews, and arguably HH takes the cake as the best. The main event consisted of a two disgusting bloody heaps beating the shit out of eachother in a match that went in and out of the building. Taz and Buh Buh Ray Dudley didn’t pull out any spectacular moves, but the pouring blood made this one of the most memorable matches. Don’t expect Taz to bleed that much in the WWF. The other memorable matches include the pinnacle of the Jerry Lynn/ Rob Van Damme feud, which included the horrible bump Lynn took when his face hit the hard concrete after spiraling over the top rope. This pay per view also showcased a hardcore bout between Dreamer and Lance Storm, and don’t forget Sabu leg dropping Sid through a table after Sid powerbombed this shit out of the Impact Players. As a whole, this pay per view rocked.

Worst Pay Per View: WCW’s STARRCADE (December)
Talk about a disaster. This is supposed to be the biggest pay per view of the year for World Championship Wrestling. It’s WCW’s Wrestlemania. This year Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara booked the show and proved that they are idiots. Russo was quoted as saying that his booking style is showcased the best at Starrcade. The horrible matches included Evan Kourageous taking on Medusa, Sting boring us against Luger, Dustin Rhodes putting us to sleep against Jarrett in a ‘Bunkhouse Brawl’, Booker T and Midnight against Creative Control and Henig, David Flair verse DDP, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Varsity Club verse the Revolution. The main event was Bret Hart pitted against Goldberg, which would have been awesome…but they cut the match off at around six minutes to screw Goldberg out of the title in an ode to the Surivor Series ’97 screwjob. The only thing WCW did was screw the fans out of their thirty bones.

Best Announcer: ECW’s JOEY STYLES
    As Bill Alfonoso so dramatically displays when he enters the ring, Joey Styles calls it, “Right down the middle.” He’s unbiased, and he is just plain awesome. His catchphrase, “Oh my God!” defines ECW so damn well. He hosts the ECW Hardcore TV show himself, and proves that no announcer can outwit him or outsell a match more than he can. He puts excitement into matches that would be snoozers in WCW or WWF. He is the epitome of a great announcer.

Best Hardcore Wrestler: WWF’s MANKIND
    This year Mankind didn’t fall off a cage twice or have his ear ripped off, but all in all he took the most chances and most bumps in his supposed last full wrestling year. While ECW’s Balls Mahoney did take numerous bumps through flaming thumbtack strewn tables, Mankind took hard hits in almost every match he was in this year, while Mahoney was known for that and that alone. Mankind was hit over the head with a steel chair fourteen times at January’s Royal Rumble I-Quit Match with The Rock. He fell roughly seven feet off a ladder onto a power supply box that sparked and shut the lights down. In February The Rock beat his candy ass all over the arena in the Last Man Standing Match. The roughest bump was when his head hit the side of the announce table and snapped back. In March he was chokeslammed from a ladder onto two tables and glass in a Boiler Room Brawl with Big Show. And in September he was thrown from the Smackdown set about twenty feet to the hard earth of the Buried Alive set. He held the WWF Championship three times this year, but it was soley through his hardcore addiction that he became the fan favorite. In his last full year of wrasslin’, he proved that Mick Foley is, and always will be…hardcore.

Best Champion: ECW’s ROB VAN DAM
    He beat Bam Bam Bigelow for the ECW TV belt in the Spring of 1998. He has gone into 2000 with it still firmly around his waist. There is a problem though in the future. He faces Sabu at ECW’s Guilty as Charged on January 9th. He is the best champion of the year, and not because he hasn’t lost the belt. He is a great wrestler…period. The only reason he isn’t the wrestler of the year as a lot of internet fools believe is because his personality lacks. His storylines aren’t epic and he hasn’t gotten the mainstream push he deserves. His hi-light matches have been with Jerry ‘The New Fucking Show’ Lynn and this Fall he took on Sabu at the ECW arena which ended in a time limit draw. Forget Goldberg. Van Dam is da man.

Best Heel: ECW/WWF’s BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY
    So far in the WWF, the white half of the Dudley Boyz has mostly floundered. Why? He hasn’t gotten enough interview time. Dudley’s cruelness reached it’s zenith in July at ECW’s Heatwave pay per view, where he cursed out the entire crowd, threw a beer at a fan, and taunted the fan to punch him. He then saw a mom and daughter ringside. He made a few lewd remarks about the daughter with her mom standing there helpless. In the match the two went on to put Spike Dudley through a flaming table and Balls Mahoney practically on his head. The Dudley Boyz are a great team, but this year Buh Buh proved without a shadow of a doubt he is the biggest asshole this sport has seen this year. Hopefully in the new millennium the WWF will let Buh Buh truly shine as a bad guy instead of as a backwoods joke like they did in December at the poker game between the Dudleys and The Acolytes. Buh Buh Ray was cheating. He put down his hand and said, “Six aces.”

Funniest Wrestler: WCW’s THE CAT
    In the Fall of 1998 The Cat premiered and took the world by storm. Okay, he didn’t exactly make waves, but he took his act into 1999 full throttle and became the funniest wreslter of the year. Yes, Vince McMahon is hilarious, and Steve Corino and Chris Jericho are amusing, but no wrestler this year has consistently been as funny as The Cat. His dancing red shoes. His new James Brown music. His dancing. His cheating. Just the way he would come into the ring and make fun of the people at ringside. He would tell people, “I’m the greatest, nobody can whup me, call my momma!” He told fat women they couldn’t even get over the rail. Lately Russo and Ferrara haven’t been using The Cat, but hopefully in 2000 they’ll bring him and his antics back in style.

Best Group: WWF’s THE MEAN STREET POSSE
    Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs make up the funniest and most entertaining group in wrestling these days. Think about it. DX and the N.W.O. are so old and lame. The Corporate Ministry and Corporation were pretty decent, but no other group lasted all year and still brings laughs and a smile to everyone watching. As soon as laid back entrance music hits I know I will be entertained. Their pinnacle hit in August at the WWF’s Summerslam during the Test/Shane O’Mac match. The posse brought a couch, light, and posse portrait to ringside to watch the match. Hilarious. Entertaining. The best group by far.

Best Storyline: WWF- STEPHANIE McMAHON’S WEDDING
    Most wrestling fans agree that the best storyline this year was the epic one that led up to Stephanie marrying Triple H and then turning on her father. It was a simple storyline, but it lasted from the Summer until Decmeber, which is epic in scope. Usually wrestling is so fast these days the storylines fly by, but not this. Vince waited and it turned out to be awesome. We got the Test/Shane match at Summerslam, we got the England ppv where Stephanie was injured and had ‘head tramau’ (blunty put: amnesia), we got the Raw is War marriage which turned into a hilarious farce where Triple H had already married Steph the night before in Vegas, and finally we got the Vince/HHH match which ended with Stephanie turning on her father and turning heel. Wow.

Best Feud: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN/ VINCE McMAHON
    This feud will probably go down as the best feud in wrestling…period. A lot of entertainment came out of this feud in 1998, but we only saw them in a ring once in 1998 (it was in Philly and Austin had to tie one hand behind his back), but we saw them three times in a ring in 1999. The feud reached a boiling point when Vince McMahon was the first participant in the Royal Rumble. Eventually Austin became number two. After Vince won the Rumble, the two ended up fighting a memorable match in a steel cage on St. Valentine’s Day. Of course Austin won the belt at ‘Mania and Vince got Stone Cold-stunned. They had a ladder match in June at the King of the Ring when Austin was the WWF’s CEO. Things went back and forth, and eventually Vince left his heel persona after the first blood matchup in July. When it was full steam ahead, the feud put the WWF ahead in the ratings and kept them there. Their feud sold the Royal Rumble, King of the Ring, St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and Fully Loaded pay per views. To cap it all off…who can forget the beer truck fiasco?

Best Tag Team: WWF’s THE HARDY BOYZ
    The Hardy Boyz were the best tag team this year. Why? Because this year to be a good ‘wrestler’ you had to have good storylines and have good mic skills. The Hardy Boyz proved that they don’t need shit. They are fantastic wrestlers, and that’s the bottom line. This year we saw them hold the tag titles on one occasion, and we saw a terrific tournament with Edge & Christian which ended in the best match of the year at No Mercy. The Hardy Boyz had lousy storylines and didn’t say a single word on TV yet they proved everything with their high flying maneuvers and pure entertainment style. I predict them to take this award next year also.

Best Rookie: WWF’s SHANE McMAHON
    Realistically there were only two rookies, Shane O’Mac and ECW’s Rhino, but Shane takes the award with flying colors. He proved his entertainment worth with three pay per view matches that standout this year. He took on X-Pac at Wrestlemania in a brutal and highly entertaining bout. He faced Austin with his dad in a hilarious and truly great ladder match at the King of the Ring. He jumped off a cage and tackled members of the Mean Street Posse which he used to be friends with on Raw is War in the fall, but his shining moment was his match against Test at Summerslam. Not only were the Mean Street Posse’s antics in full force, but Shane proved that it was worth paying money for the ppv with one single move. He put Test on the Spanish announce table and climbed the top rope. With a high flying elbow off the top rope he crashed onto Test and through the table. It was the best moment of the pay per view, and it proved that Shane wanted to entertain, that he wanted to prove his worth. A great start for what surely will be a long haul.

Best TV Show: WWF’s RAW IS WAR
    Nitro floundered at three hours, and Smackdown wore out it’s welcome and became stale since it’s never live. ECW is uneven because TNN censors a good majority of the bloodshed, and ECW’s Hardcore TV is now full of B-matches. But there was one show that was always consistent, especially this year when the WWF pulled out no stops and left the WCW in the dust. Raw is War is the WWF’s best program. The show is better than any pay per view they put on. All of the good stuff that happens in the WWF occurs on Raw. The infamous beer truck fiasco, the tribute to Owen Hart, the Rock/Mankind ladder match for the gold, the Greater Power mystery, Stephanie’s botched wedding, Mankind’s firing. All of the big stuff happened there, on Raw is War. It was the show to beat in ’99.

Best Announce Team: ECW’s JOEY STYLES & CYRUS THE VIRUS
    The only team to even come close is Monday Nitro’s team consisting of Tony Schiavone, Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan, and Mike Tenay. The problem was they cut Tenay out of the picture for the majority of the year, so the team fell apart. ECW’s Joey Styles is the best announcer of the year, but the only thing to elevate his commentary is the sidekick antics of Cyrus the Virus. He commentates along Styles on the ECW pay per views, and only makes Styles sound better. Their banter and humorous stories and antecdotes are downright entertaining. Cyrus’ commentary on ‘The Office’ at ECW’s November to Remember elevated the average program to a good one. Announcing can’t get better.

Best Moment: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN & THE BEER TRUCK
    They seem to still talk about it. The Monday night before Wrestlemania, the Corporation (Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, the Stooges, and The Rock) assembled in the ring and began to mock Austin and hammer the point that he has no chance in hell of winning the title at the ppv. Austin answered this criticism by driving a Coors Light beer truck into the arena and up to the ring. He pulled out a hose and sprayed the Corporation with beer (and even attempted to drink from the hose full of beer himself) and they slipped and fell all over the ring. The crowd went crazy. Austin then stood on top of the truck and downed a few cold cans. It was the shining moment of Raw. No one saw it coming. It was funny, it was great, and it was the best moment of ’99.

Best Matches: #1 WWF- EDGE & CHRISTIAN VS. THE HARDY BOYZ 
                       “LADDER MATCH”  NO MERCY
    There were a lot of good matches this year, but for my money, the ones that truly stood out where the ones full of hardcore shenanigans. Mankind getting hit over the head fourteen times with a chair is a lot more entertaining that Bret Hart putting Van Hammer in a sharpshooter. At least in my book. The standout matches were Bam Bam verse Hak at Spring Stampede, Mankind vs. The Rock at the Royal Rumble, Test vs. Shane at Summer Slam, and Tanka losing to Mike Awesome at November 2 Remember. But for my money, and most people’s, the best of the year took place at WWF’s October pay per view, No Mercy. It was a horribly boring pay per view, but this match was a true four star affair. Both teams are known for their high flying maneuvers, but the Hardy Boyz truly proved that they are the best talent working today. This was a Mexican Ladder match, meaning there were two ladders in the ring. These four combatants did so many crazy moves off the ladders and off the ropes onto the ladders it was nuts. There were at least fifteen instant replays, which is uncanny. Usually a basic wrestling match has two or three. It is impossible to even put into words how great this match was. It had to be seen to be believed. Epic and awesome.

#2  ECW-  Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka      November to Remember

#3  WCW- Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow   Spring Stampede

#4  WWF- Shane McMahon vs. Test                     Summer Slam

#5  WWF- Mankind vs. The Rock  “I Quit”           Royal Rumble

#6   ECW-  Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn              Hardcore Heaven

#7   ECW-  Sabu vs. Tazz                                     Living Dangerously

#8   ECW-  Vince & Shane McMahon vs.
     ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin  “Ladder”     King of the Ring

#9   ECW-  Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu             ECW Arena (Oct ’99)

#10 WWF-  Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac         Wrestlemania XV   


Best Company: THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
    1998 and 1999 were the two best years ever for the WWF. They took over the ratings with their explicit but highly exciting Crash-TV programs. They infused hilarious backstage antics, massively hyped main events, and crowd loving interviews from the superstars to prove that the best in the business is under Vincent K. McMahon. The WWF got into the stock market, they brought out Smackdown which single handedly saved the UPN, and they received a record 8.1 rating for Raw is War. They beat WCW every single Monday Night this year, and the proved that losing two top writers DOES…NOT…MATTER. Even though Survivor Series blew and once the writers left the product grew stale for about a month, they regained their lead and capped off on a high note. Even with ‘Stone Cold’ hurt they beat the competition. This year the WWF reigned supreme. It was a momentous year. I truly doubt they will ever be this high again.
   
Best Wrestler: WCW/ECW’s HARDCORE HAK/ THE SANDMAN
    When 1999 started out I didn’t even know who the fucking Sandman was. He showed up in WCW as Hardcore Hak and soon enough I thought he was awesome. He would come out draped in barb wire and call anyone out at any time. He made watching WCW interesting. From March to July he was the best wrestler and entertainer WCW had to offer. His matches at Spring Stampede and Uncensored were classics. He got hurt and was abruptly fired. He showed up one night at the ECW Arena with his classic Metallica tune ‘Enter Sandman’ blaring in the background. The crowd was estatic. It was one of the best moments of the year. As The Sandman, he showed up and took over. His entrance lasts around five minutes as his music blares and he chugs a few cold ones and smokes a cigarette. He became the one to watch in WCW to the one to watch in ECW. He was the most entertaining wrestler of the year. Any match he was in was entertaining and hugely watchable. Whenever you hear his music you smile and sit down and know you will have fun watching. He is by far the best wrestler of the year.

WWF- 11 awards
ECW-    6 awards
WCW-   1 award (take one away for winning worst ppv)   


1999 FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP REIGNS:

ECW: The Franchise- Taz- Mike Awesome- Masato Tanaka- Mike Awesome

WWF: Mankind- The Rock- Mankind- The Rock- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- The Undertaker- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- Mankind- Triple H- Vince McMahon- Triple H- The Big Show

WCW: Kevin Nash- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Ric Flair- DDP- Sting- DDP- Kevin Nash- Macho Man- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Sting- Goldberg- Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

< YEAR END AWARD NOMINATIONS ‘99 >

Yes, it’s that time again. Okay that was a joke. This is a first. My Year End Wrestling Awards. Who was the best wrestler of the year? The best hardcore wrestler of the year? What was the best match? The best federation? The best piece of ass? Here are the nominees. The winners will be announced in the early days of the year 2000.

Best Wrestler:                              Best Company:
-Shane McMahon                       -WWF
-The Rock                                  -ECW
-Hardcore Hak/ The Sandman    -WCW
-Mankind                                   -XPW
-Rob Van Dam                           -CZW

Best Match
-Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz  ‘Ladder Match’ from WWF’s No Mercy
-The Rock vs. Mankind  ‘I Quit Match’ from WWF’s Royal Rumble
-Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow from WCW’s Spring Stampede
-Shane McMahon vs. Test from WWF’s Summer Slam
-Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka from ECW’s November to Remember

Best Tag Team                       Best Champion
-The Dudley Boyz                  -Rob Van Dam
-The Hardy Boyz                   -Taz
-The Holly’s                           -‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin
-The Outsiders                       -Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart
-Raven & Tommy Dreamer    -‘Hollywood’ Hogan

Best Feud                                      Best Pay Per View
-Chris Jericho & Ken Shamrock    -ECW Living Dangerously
-Rob Van Dam & Jerry Lynn         -WWF St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
-Mankind & The Rock                  -WWF Wrestlemania XV
-‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin &        -ECW Anarchy Rulz
   Vince McMahon                        -ECW Hardcore Heaven
-Triple H & Vince McMahon

Best Storyline                              Best TV Show
-WWF Greater Power                -ECW on TNN
-WCW Powers to Be                 -WWF Raw is War
-WWF Stephanie’s Wedding       -WCW Monday Nitro
-WCW Ric Flair as President       -WWF Smackdown!
- WWF Big Show’s Father           -ECW Hardcore TV

Worst Pay Per View                  Best Group
-WCW Starrcade                    -The Corporation       
-WCW Fall Brawl                    -The N.W.O.
-WWF Fully Loaded                -DX
-WCW Great American Bash  -The Corporate Ministry
-WWF Unforgiven                  -The Mean Street Posse

Funniest Wrestler            Best Heel
-Vince McMahon            -Buh Buh Ray Dudley
-‘Hardcore’ Holly            -Triple H
-Steve Corino                  -Vince McMahon
-Chris Jericho                  -Rhino
-The Cat                          -Steve Corino

Best Announcer                   Best Hardcore Wrestler
-Joey Styles                           -Mankind
-Jim Ross                               -L’il Spike Dudley
-Cyrus the Virus                     -Sabu
-Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan    -New Jack
-Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler        -Balls Mahoney

Best Announce Team
-Cyrus & Joey Styles>ECW Pay Per Views
-Jim Ross & Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler> WWF Raw is War
-Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, & Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan>WCW Monday Nitro
-Joey Styles & Joel Gertner>ECW on TNN
-Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler & Michael Cole>WWF Smackdown!

Best Moment
-Balls Mahoney going through a thumbtack strewn flaming table
-‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin crashing the Corporation’s party with a beer truck
-The Sandman returning to ECW at Philadelphia’s ECW Arena
-The Big Bossman ruining The Big Show’s father’s funeral
-the L.W.O. dance party

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WCW’s STARRCADE

Sunday, December 19th from Washington D.C.

    Apparently this is the WCW’s biggest event of the year. It’s supposed to be their Wrestlemania, their November to Remember, their…you get the fucking point. I am sad to say that WCW’s worst pay per view of the year was Starrcade. It lacked focus, it lacked excitement, it lacked good matches, good endings, good heel/babyface turns, good surprises, good wrestling, good fun. It lacked EVERYTHING. There was no stand out matches, everything was marginal.
Which brings back the simple point: When will Russo and Ferrara be fired?

+JOHNNY DA BULL & BIG VITO vs. DISCO INFERNO & LASH LE-WHO?: Arguably the best match of the night. Why? Well the two ‘gangsters’ were in ECW only a month ago. They were in the group known as The Baldies. They didn’t make much of an impression, but this was their first real big match and they proved they know how to wrestle. One of the two gangsters gave the move of the night with a really high spin DDT move that was fucking awesome. Sadly, their ECW moves and persona will diminish and their excitement factor will die. At least we saw the spinning DDT once. **1/2

+MADUSA vs. EVAN KOURAGEOUS: I was so pig headed that when Russo/Ferrara started booking WCW I figured it would steal the ratings back easily. The first few weeks were solid, watchable, and it was exciting to see WCW in a great new direction. Unfortunately, their magic charm has diminished and WCW sucks. Yes, it is funny, but it needs what the WWF has; attitude. It could also use some excitement and seriousness, and some damn heels!!! This match was actually promoted on the radio. They mentioned Goldberg versus Bret Hart and then mentioned this match. What??? WCW is dead in the water as far as I’m concerned. No matter how much I hate to say this…WCW was better before the two New York writers showed up. ½*

NORMAN SMILEY vs. MENG: My brother says he would give this four stars. Come on. Yes, it had one of the funniest moments in a while when Norman jumped through a curtain and over a table just because. The hardcore belt is tarnished though and the joke is over. Hardcore doesn’t mean using  just trashcans. What about tables? Barb wire? Fire? Tacks? Gimmie blood and by the gallons. Sure this match was funny, but do we want to see this shit at Souled Out, too? No. **1/2

THE REVOLUTION vs. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & THE VARSITY CLUB: Duggan was coming out with 3 mystery partners. I figured it might be Hogan and Flair. It turned out to be the Kevin Sullivan, Dogg, and I.R.S. (or M. Wallstreet as he was known for awhile). This match was lame. WCW truly sucks. God I’m livid. *

BOOKER T. & MIDNIGHT vs. CREATIVE CONTROL & CURT HENIG: Is it me, or does Midnight suck? As of Thunder Creative Control is now the Harris twins or something and PTB (powers to be…Vince Russo) is running solo now. What a dumb match. Imagine having the entire booking reigns handed over. You can book pay per views, Thunder, and Nitro. You need storylines and character development and everything. Sorry to say it, but I think 99.9% of the wrestling fans out there can do better than what Russo/Ferrara have been doing. ½*

DUSTIN RHODES vs. JJ: No, not JJ F’ng Dillon, Jeff Jarrett. This was a Bunkhouse Brawl, or, in laments terms, a hardcore match. This match was hardcore allright. It hurt to watch. ½*

+DDP vs. CRAZY DAVID FLAIR: I’m sure Ric Flair is a little mad at watching the PTB turn Little Natch into a crazy mofo with a plotline going nowhere fast. At least he does a good job with his character, which is more than he ever did beforehand. This was a crowbar on a pole match. Should I have even mentioned that? Nah. *1/2

STING vs. LEX LUGER: No matter that Lex Luger is now The Total Package instead of Lex Luger, the fucking announcers even call him Lex Luger every once in awhile. This match would have been monumental on any other ppv. Did I mention they reformed the N.W.O. on Nitro? Oh, maybe you can now figure out why I hate WCW. Yes, I loved the N.W.O., but that was two years ago. I was glad to finally see it go, not when it is finally in the ground they bring it back. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, this match blew harder than DG at the Christmas Party. Nuff said. *

+SID vs. KEVIN NASH: Why did they turn Sid good? Probably the best match in the Russo/Ferrara era was the Sid/Goldberg match at Halloween Havoc when Sid bled like a stuck pig and the ref called the match. Now he’s good and he sucks. And Nash is supposed to be ‘bad’? WCW has no good bad guys anymore. The N.W.O. is going to get a lot of pops no matter how much they make fun of the city they’re in…which only JJ probably will do. Bret Hart is great as a heel, though, so I guess that’s a plus. *1/2

CHRIS ‘SILENT BUT VIOLENT’ BENOIT vs. JJ: Yes, JJ F’ng Dillon wrestled Benoit. No, I’m fuckin’ wit ya. Jeff Jarrett pulled out no stops in this Ladder Match because Scott Hall is injured. On the ‘net they said Ric Flair was offered to fight Benoit in this match but he declined. This was supposedly the only watchable match on the ppv (said the PWTorch), but I’ve never seen a good Ladder Match in WCW and I doubt I’ll start now. **1/2

BRET HART vs. BILL GOLDBERG: They recreated Survivor Series ’97 and ref Roddy Piper rang the bell and screwed Goldberg out of the title even though he didn’t tap out. On Nitro they revealed that Russo felt bad for Bret Hart ever since the ’97 incident so he put the screwjob in his favor this time. Whatever….this match sucked and anyone that paid a cool 33 bills probably has his head in an oven somewhere. Nitro sucked even more when the fucking N.W.O. reunited. Is it too hard to make another name for them? Do we really have to see the N.W.O…again? No. The N.W.O. was good in the beginning, but they ran that plot into the ground. The N.W.O. does not equal ratings…especially when you look at whose in it: JJ, Hart, Hall, and Nash. At least Hogan was a great personality. Hopefully Russo will get so drunk for the Millennium he’ll fall down a flight of stairs and have an epiphany: stop writing this shit and make WCW good again. Forget the N.W.O. Create some major heels and quit fucking around with the backstage hijinks. We want to see serious shit, too, blood and tits, sure, but we don’t want 3 hours of bullshit. Russo: congratulations, you’ve officially killed WCW. Rumors on the ‘net say he’ll be fired in April. Well start counting the days big boy. *

I ripped Russo a new a-hole, didn’t I? Sure, but did you watch Starrcade? It not only sucked, it blew, and then Nitro pulled out no stops and reunited the fucking N.W.O. Jesus F. Christ. All the while WCW is in the gutter, WWF is promising the return of Cactus Jack and has the MSG Royal Rumble to pump up. I give Starrcade ½* and it will definitely win the award for Worst PPV of the Year, even though ‘Mad Dog’ Tearson believed Heroes of Wrestling to be the worst. I predicted an awful 5 out of 11, which is a 45%, an F-. Though me and my brother split all picks so there’s method to my madness. The next big two pay per view is Souled Out in January, where Jeff Jarrett and Benoit have a match which supposedly features a CRAZY stipulation. Hope it’s not as crazy as the Dog Kennel From Hell match the WWF put on in September. ‘Mad Dog’ picked that as the worst match of the year. I can’t disagree. Next Monday WCW has a ppv calibur Nitro titled New Year’s Evil from Houston’s AstroDome. Don’t expect much. I’m looking forward to ECW’s January 9th ppv Guilty as Charged. The hi-light matches include Sandman vs. Rhino, Sabu vs. Van Damme, and Raven & Dreamer vs. The Impact Players. Looks to be one of the year’s best ppv’s already. Of course there’s the ‘Rumble, where a rumored Cactus Jack/HHH main event will take place. I can’t wait. Wanted: Dead. Until then…        

WWF ARMAGEDDON

Sunday, December 12th, 1999 from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

    Okay. Where the fuck was I? I leave you with the predictions for Halloween Havoc and then I disappear until Christmas. I’ll explain, and yes, I know I’d better.
    I realized that when I rated matches I would actually have to watch all the matches, not just the ones I cared about. I was stuck watching Van Hammer take on the Dog just because I had to rate it so I could rate the ppv as a whole. Well I got sick of wading through boring ass pre-lim matches so I quit it. I’m back though, because I had a day off and a late work night and decided to catch the encore of Armageddon and watch the whole thing.
    Now I have a realization why I stopped in the first place. BUT Survivor Series and Mayhem sucked anyway, and ‘Havoc was marginal so you didn’t miss much. 
    Oh, yeah, winners underlined and correct predictions +ed:

THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE HEADBANGERS vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN vs. THE HARDY BOYZ vs. PETE GAS & RODNEY vs. THE ACOLYTES vs. TOO COOL vs. SEXUAL CHOCOLATE & THE GODFATHER: Jesus Christmas, what the hell kind of match was this? Well a Royal Rumble type of matchup. I picked Edge & Christian, but the Acolytes (who always win) took it. I miss the ECW Dudley’s. Barbed wire. Flaming table. Major juicage. Major heat. Oh well. Average matchup. **

+STEVE BLACKMAN vs. KURT ANGLE: I seriously have nothing to say about this match. Really. *

JAQUELINE vs. MS. KITTY vs. IVORY vs. BB: The WWF has really sunken to a new low with the so-called ‘Women’s Division’. They had a mud wrestling match, a gravy match, a swimming pool match, and on Raw last night a pudding match. Jesus H. Christ. This one at the ppv was a swimming pool four way. Oh yeah, Ms. Kitty showed her tits. Talk about an exhibitionist champion. ***

+THE HOLLY’S vs. VISCERA & RAKISHI FATU: On Smackdown, Too Cool and Rakishi were in a dance club and it was pretty damn funny. This match was pretty lame, though, but I love the Holly’s. Those guys are pretty damn funny. I wish Hardcore went back to the hardcore division, though, because quite frankly, Bossman isn’t cutting it. *1/2

+VAL VENIS vs. D’LO vs. BULLDOG: This matchup was for the coveted European Championship. Val Venis said he was going to go to Europe and get some tail if he won. Hopefully on Smackdown we’ll have a funny segment with plane ride and all. I’m not exactly counting on it. This match was okay I s’pose. **

+KANE vs. X-PAC: My boy Kane gave X-Pac a good ass whipping. This was a cage match, and if you hadn’t figured it out yet, I like Kane; The Big Red Machine. I think he deserves a title reign, since he has held the belt but only for 24 hours. Turn him heel, too, because as a good guy he blows. Turn him evil and make him a sick bastard and have him win the belt at February’s ppv. This match was pretty cool. Pac handcuffed Kane to the cage and hit him a few times with a chair. Kane eventually clotheslined Pac after jumping off the top of the cage. He tombstoned the little man and won. I love that red bastard. Hopefully at Wrestlemania he’ll take his mask off…now that’s sports entertainment. ***

+CHRIS ‘Y2J’ JERICHO vs. CHYNA: Jericho, my boy, won his first WWF belt, the Intercontinental Belt, which is more or less Mid-Card belt. Jericho kicked off Raw too so he’s going places. He’s funny as all hell and I like him. WWF is really good right now, as opposed to WCW which just can’t seem to get it together. This match was pretty good with Jericho’s antics and moves. I still can’t get over Ms. Kitty going out with that old bag Lawler. **1/2

NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. ROCK ‘N SOCK CONNECTION: I was thinking at work tonight, instead of HHH vs. Rock at Wrestlemania, make it Rock vs. Mankind. Why? Those two jabronies have had the best matches in the past year. Though both are faces so don’t watch for it to happen soon. This match was okay. Mankind just isn’t watchable unless he falls on barbed wire or goes through a table or bleeds like a stuck pig. The last hardcore match he had was way back in April when he took on Big Show in the boiler room brawl. Hopefully his match against Al Snow at the Royal Rumble will be a no-holds barred war. Hopefully. **

GIANT vs. BOSSMAN: I picked Bossman. You would think with all of this major buildup there would be a payoff. Bossman did shit to Giant for a month and a half and Bossman doesn’t take any major bumps? Put him through a table, hit him with a chair, make him bleed and take him within seconds of his life. This match was such a letdown it wasn’t even funny. Giant as the champ is a laughing joke. He’s losing it to HHH at the Royal Rumble anyway so that’s kind of a good thing, though Hunter as champ is a little bit old. *

+HHH vs. VINCE McMAHON: Well HHH proved it. Evey match Shane or Vince in this year has been a ***1/2 affair. The Vince/Austin cage match, the Shane/X-Pac match, the Shane/Vince/Austin ladder match, and the Shane/Test match were all memorable and best of the year candidates. This match was pretty lame. Why? HHH. He sucks. Austin has charisma, and Shane has the high flying vernacular. Plus, Vince was heel the other times he fought. This was a lame match to cap off an average night with. Yes, it ended good, with Steph turning against Vince and hugging HHH, but that was obvious (thanks to the ‘net). They went outside and shit. It was too long. I’m very dissappointed. Though Raw kicked ass so I’m back on the WWF bandwagon. Right now WWF is better than WCW. Last week it wasn’t. What about next week after Starrcade? We’ll just have to see. **

    66%, a D. I predicted 6 out of 10. Seriously, though, that tag match had 8 teams to pick from, and the female match had 4 to choose, and the European had 3. I ain’t complaining. Armageddon gets **. It was okay. Highlights? Ms. Kitty flashing her tits, the cage match between Kane and X-Pac, Jericho winning the IC belt, and Steph turning heel. Bad parts? The Giant/Bossman match was a MAJOR letdown, and I would love to see Mick Foley take some bumps on the pay per views, shit- people pay 30 large.
    Anyway, next week is WCW’s supposed big show, Starrcade. It has a triple main event. The only match I’m curious about is the Benoit/Hall ladder match, though Scott Hall is a litle old to do anything interesting in the ring. The DDP/David Flair crowbar on a pole match sounds interesting, but Russo & Ferrara so far are having a lot of trouble with WCW. It’s funny and watchable, yes, but it really isn’t any better than it was in September, and WWF is kicking it’s ass with reuniting DX and heel Steph storylines. Oh well. Hopefully at the Rumble in MSG, Mankind will face Al Snow in a hardcore bout with some great bumps, I mean remember Rock and Mick’s I Quit Rumble match last January? A classic. It’ll probably be HHH and Big Show where HHH will win. The Rock is going to Wrestlemania, but whether or not he wins the Rumble is beyond me. I’d like to see Shane O’Mac wrestle, and hopefully the Hardy’s take on someone other than Edge & Christian. I haven’t seen a RR in years, so I’m definitely looking forward to it, plus with MSG taking center stage, there will be magic in the air. Until then.

WCW HALLOWEEN HAVOC

Sunday, October 24th, 1999 from Las Vegas, Nevada

    I can proudly claim that I was present at the first Nitro Russo and Ferrera booked. The beginning of the new ‘era’. Much more backstage shenanigans, the return of the hardcore division, an evening gown match, and the return of Jeff Jarrett and his guitar! Was it good? Nothing spectacular, but definitely better than usual. The Bret Hart/Sting match was good, especially pumping it up, the Goldberg/Sid confrontation was great, also the Nash and Hall storyline, though it was hilarious backstage. Actually, the show was better backstage. Supposedly this was tame because the new writers merely had to pump up ‘Havoc, which they are booking, but all of the storylines that spawn from the ppv and lead into Nitro will be the brand new storylines that the new team has concocted. The first storylines of their new WCW career. The ‘net is reporting that next week’s Nitro will be shocking. I can’t wait. At least it’s more exciting that the WWF these days, with a lame 3-way main event at Survivor Series (Rock/HHH/Austin). They just had a 3-way main event at Summerslam, why not do something a little bit different?
    Anyway, back to Halloween Havoc. The new writers are booking the entire ppv, so expect something cool to happen. The only standout match is Sid vs. Goldberg, and since Hogan wasn’t in Philly who knows what’s going to happen with him in Vegas. Here are my official predictions for what is usually the biggest WCW ppv of the year:

KONNAN & MYSTERIO vs. HUGH MORRIS & BRIAN KNOBBS: The biggest thing that Russo & Ferrera did was to push The Filthy Animals (Kidman, K-Dawg, Mysterio, Torri, & Kidman). They must have come out at least five times during the three hours. I like them all except for Konnan, but agree that these high flying cruiserweights deserve a push. They took Harlem Heat out of the pay per view, and that’s a good thing because I kind’ve like Knobbs and Morris, especially The Laughing Man. Except an average match with some high flying manuevers and the Animals to come out on top.

DISCO INFERNO vs. LASH LE-WHO?: I have renamed Lash Leroux. His new name is Lash Le-Who? Because he is just that, a nobody. He was a big shot on Saturday Night and WorldWide, and now all of a sudden he’s fighting for the Cruiserweight Belt when neither wrestlers are cruiserweights. Expect an extremely boring match. The only thing Russo and Ferrera can do is to send someone in to beat them up which they definitley will do. Disco shouldn’t lose, though if he does I will not be shocked.

BRET HART vs. LEX LUGER: They did a great job and pumping up the big fights on the card, especially this one. Luger fucked up Hart’s chance at Sting’s Championship belt. Bret Hart seems like he’ll be getting a major push…like fighting Hogan next month at Mayhem, so he’ll definitely win here.

CHRIS BENOIT vs. RICK STEINER: Benoit is yet another wrestler that will be getting a push, so don’t expect to see him drop the gold to Dog when he only recently took it from him. Should be a good match since both wrestlers at least entertain.

DDP vs. RIC FLAIR: There’s a ‘net rumor going around that a new retirement storyline is going to occur Sunday for the Nature Boy. I don’t buy it but the new writing team definitely used him as he should be used on Nitro when Kimberly was in the hotel room waiting for David Flair and out comes Natch, hopping on the bed and telling her if she’s ever been with a 14-time champion. Flair is and always will be the man. He should take DDP out of the picture since DDP wasn’t even on Nitro.

SID vs. GOLDBERG: I really think Sid is going to win here. Why? Well everyone and their mother thinks Da Man is going to win, especially since Sid’s U.S. Belt isn’t on the line. I figure if Russo and Ferrera want to do something exciting and different then they’ll have Goldberg lose. On Nitro they definitely changed things around when Sid powerbombed Goldberg in the center of the ring. That was great. So far I’m ver excited about the new changes on Nitro. I’ve stuck with it over the summer even when it truly sucked…now it’s getting a resurgence. I wish Bischoff was along for the ride. He was one of the better characters WCW had.

STING vs. HOGAN: I believe if the Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan match happens at Mayhem, then a title will not be involved. Secondly, Russo and Ferrera obviously have plans for Hogan and those plans do not involve Hogan as champ. Hogan apparently told someone that their original plans were for Hogan to lose in a quick two minutes which I don’t exactly believe. If he does win it will not be a long reign, but seeing that Sting was awesome on Nitro (with new rock music and solid air time) he should definitely keep the belt.

BERLYN vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG: Berlyn is the kind of character that the new writing team can do wonders for. It might be tough at first to have a lot of separate storylines running, especially for a 3 hour Nitro, but Berylyn can turn into a great angle. So far this angle sucks. Brad Armstrong? He was probably working on a farm last week and now he’s wrestling in Las Vegas…Sin City? The one thing you have to realize is that WWF pay per views were never as good as the Monday night shows…except for the main event. Meaning this: Goldberg/Sid and Hogan/Sting will be awesome, the rest of the ppv will be basic. Though it is their first big ppv with fresh ideas for new wrestlers…except a surprise. I am.

WWF NO MERCY

Sunday, October 17th, 1999 from Cleveland, Ohio

    The most interesting thing these days in the wide world of wrestling is that the top writers in the WWF, Vince Russo and Ed Ferrera, left McMahon and are now working in WCW. Tonight on Nitro in my hometown it is supposed to be the first show this dynamic duo books. It should be wild. So No Mercy was more or less the official end to all Russo/Ferrera storylines. Can the WWF run with the ball? As Jim Morrison once sang, “The future is uncertain and the end is always near.”
    No Mercy was an okay WWF pay per view. It was much better than Unforgiven but nothing spectacular. The best match of the night was the only one I was really waiting for. The Hardy Boyz versus Edge and Christian in a ladder match! It could be the best match of the year. The main event was same-old and nothing spectacular happened. The only other match that was sort of watchable was the JJ/Chyna Good Housekeeping match. Apparently Jeff Jarrett is going to be on Nitro….tonight. Here are my thoughts, gripes, bitches, and moans. And oh yeah…I tied my prediction record. So there.

+THE GODFATHER vs. MIDEON: It’s always great to see some strippers to remind you how much sexual frustration truly is building up inside you. This match was pretty lame. The only funny thing to come out of this feud was when the Godfather offered a ‘ho’ to Mideon and he said, “No…got any farm animals?” Too bad that happened on Smackdown. Boring match. ½*

+IVORY vs. THE FABULOUS MOOLAH: It surprises me every time I see these old geizers. They’re over seventy years old yet they’re getting thrown around and knocked on their backs. I guess all those years of wrestling and training has done something. This was just silly and how much can you possibly expect? *

+NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE HOLLY’S: I love Crash and Hardcore Holly. Those guys crack me up, and at least they’re fun to watch. The New Age Outlaws are oh-so-two-years-ago. I think we’ve heard, “Suck it!” one time too many. Holly’s win by cheating of course. **

+CHYNA vs. JJ: Double J, Jeff Jarrett, is apparently going to WCW tonight, so it was sort of obvious that he lost here…right? I do remember when he was in WCW last it was only for like a month or two and he was really lame…though he was near undefeated which made no sense. This match was sort of funny because they used kitchen appliances like bananas, cakes, the kitchen sink, and a frying pan. Ms. Kitty is engaged to Jerry the King Lawler in real life. Can you believe that? I can’t. I guess fame does garner something ‘sides money. **

+THE ROCK vs. BRITISH BULLDOG: Right now, whether you like it or not, The Rock is more popular than Stone Cold Steve Austin. Just a little bit, but he is. He gets a bigger ovation and he is better because everyone is damn sick of Austin. He’s been in the main event at every single ppv since last November’s Survivor Series. He doesn’t have any cool moves except the stunner and the only other thing he does is clothesline you. The Rock has the ddt, the elbow and the rock bottom. Give him the mike though and he rules. This match was early on and short. Rock of course wins. Who is this bulldog character? Why is he even in the WWF? He’s so lame. **

THE HARDY BOYZ vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN: I predicted five matches correctly in a row…and then the Hardy Boyz won. I’m glad, though, those Hardy Boyz are fucking awesome. This match proved that all four of these competitors were the kings of hardcore and entertainment in the WWF. This was a Mexican ladder match, which means there are two ladders used. It was the last and final round of the Terry Invitational. To win you have to climb a ladder and grab the burlap sack of money ($100,000) and you also get to fuck Terry Runnels for an undetermined amount of time. You could tell this match was downright awesome because they must have showcased at least 20 instant replays, which is uncanny. These guys got the shit beat out of eachother. Yes, the ladders they used weren’t real ladders but still. These guys were flying everywhere, it was insane. It was literally an instant classic and the kind of match you truly have to see to believe. I would have paid the $30 bucks for the ppv and would have thought it was worth it. Definitely a top contender for best match of the year. This is what wrestling is all about. ****

VAL VENIS vs. MANKIND: Mick Foley is only entertaining when he gets his ass beat from one side of the arena to the other. His last good feud was with The Rock, and since then he hasn’t had a good feud since. His standout matches this year were the I-Quit match against Rocky and the Boiler Room brawl against Big Slow. He hasn’t had a standout match since. This fight was so slow and boring. Venis wins. It seems like Val’s storylines have thinned and his character has almost literally nothing left to do. Maybe he should go back to the movies...*

X-PAC vs. BRADSHAW vs. KANE vs. FAAROQ: How can I be so blind as to predict Kane to win? Yes, he was the obvious second choice…but X-Pac was the obvious first choice. This was a four corners elimination matchup. You know, the Mexican Ladder Match was so fucking great every match afterwards was probably good but I was blinded. I knew that match was going to be good when I heard about it, since my favorite type of matches are Ladder, but man, they went beyond my expectations. The only thing to achieve perfection would have been to add barb wire and tables. Wrap Edge in barb wire, put him on a table outside the ring. Jeff Hardy would climb to the top of the ladder, jump off, crash through Edge and the barb wire and the table. I would give that 5 stars. By the way, this 4-way match really blew. *

+HHH vs. AUSTIN: I predicted it when even the WCW Hotline and internet were reporting Austin would win. The goddamned Raw preview from one of those satellite tv guides stated <9:00: The New WWF Champion 10:00 The Rock Hits Rock Bottom> so you would have figured Austin to get the belt. Think about it. Austin has had the belt way too much. If he ever wins it back it will be at a bigger pay per view, and anyway I believe The Rock will be the next one to get the belt. Every match Austin has ever been in was the same. He punches the opponent twenty or thirty times around the arena, then he clotheslines them and then he’ll get a stunner but the ref will be out. HHH won because The Rock mistakenly hit Austin with the sledgehammer. I would love to see The Rock get the belt at Survivor Series and successfully defend it at Wrestlemania. They always make the title change hands at ‘Mania. I think it would be great to see him keep it. **

    No Mercy was a solid ppv but needed a lot more. ** it gets, mostly because of the Mexican Ladder Match. Wow. I truly doubt I will be seeing a better match this year. I predicted 7 out of 9 matches which ties my Summerslam record at 77%, a C+. That ladder match really was a standout. Without that the ppv would have been retitled No Entertainment. Next up on my slate is WCW’s Halloween Havoc, which is usually the biggest ppv of the year for those dudes. The new writers are aboard but I’m a little pissed that the ‘net is reporting they fired Hak. He was the best wrestler those losers had, though to see him come back to Philly as Sandman would be a welcoming sight. The big fights on that card include Goldberg/Sid, Hogan/Sting, Luger/Bret Hart, and Lash Leroux/Disco. Wait a minute…Lash LeWho? What can I say. That’s WCW for you. I’ll definitely do predictions this time around and they’ll be in two or three days. Until then.

WWF UNFORGIVEN

Sunday, September 26th, 1999, from Charlotte, North Carolina

ECW has great cards. Anarchy Rulz was a wild pay per view. Mike Awesome wins the coveted ECW Heavyweight Belt. Taz leaves with tears in his eyes. Sabu beats Justin Credible into a bloody mess. The Orignial Gangster shows up with a staple gun around his neck and a heap of weapons. Okay. I’ve given up on WCW for the time being. Nitro wasn’t bad, but they really need to do something with Hogan. He fucking blows. Hollywood Hogan was at least hysterical and evil. Now he’s red and yellow and fully lame. The rest of the WCW staff is marginal. Chris Benoit and the Luchadores are getting a seminal push but they have to make Goldberg and Sid stay off the mike before their careers disappear. While ECW sets it’s own standards, WWF is definitely the best it’s ever been. Of course if you like basic, technical wrestling and not gimmicks, then the World Wrestling Federation is not for you. On this week’s Smackdown they had a Boiler Room Brawl, a Casket Match, a First Blood Match, and an Inferno Match. Holy shit that show rocks. I hope when it comes to Philly it’s not too great of a show because otherwise I’ll beat my head into a wall. Unforgiven is Sunday. It has the best card in a loooooong time. The main event isn’t that great, it’s the undercards. Jericho and The Dudley Boyz wrestle, and there’s a gimmick match here that takes the official GIMMICK MATCH OF THE YEAR award. I seriously doubt they can out-do this one:

AL SNOW vs. BIG BOSSMAN: Might as well get right into it. The gimmick is what can be titled a Double Cage Dog Match. A basic top-less cage is around the ring. A Hell in the Cell around the first cage. Between the Hell in the Cell and the first cage are two rottweiler dogs. The first man to get out of both cages wins the match. Jesus. It’s fair to say there’s no way in hell this match will reach anyone’s expectations. First off, the dog element is a rip-off of WCW’s Great American Bash, where the Steiner’s fed Sting to three dogs. Expect the dogs to just run around and do nothing. I seriously doubt they’ll attack either man. Hopefully there will be some tables and chairs into the mix. I’d love Al Snow to smash Bossman through a table after leaping off the original cage. It’s a silly idea but I love it. Realistically it should be the best match of the night. This match I’m looking forward to more than any match this year.

THE ACOLYTES vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ: Even if The Dudleys lost their ECW-charm, I still love ‘em. ECW has a great style where it’s a free for all/barbed wire/cheese grater/blood splattering everything mentality. It’s wild. WWF is more casual. –seriously- The Acolytes are just okay but kind’ve funny. It should be a good match. It seemed like the Dudley boy matches in ECW were good only because their opponents got the shit beat out of them. Don't expect anyone in the WWF to be willing to go through a flaming table or be wrapped in barbed wire. If the WWF needs one thing it’s barbed wire. I doubt they’ll ever indulge, but when they do I’m saying goodbye to the WCW for good.

KEN SHAMROCK vs. CHRIS JERICHO: WCW has two good talkers and they are Scott Steiner and Ric Flair. Chris Jericho and The Rock are the best mic(rophone) workers in the biz, and the WWF has ‘em. Jericho is definitely one of my top 5 wrestlers, that’s why I love WWF even more now. In the ring he’s okay, but it’s the skits and interviews he does that makes him the man. Expect an okay matchup but I’ll watch it because I love Y2J. One of the funniest things I’ve heard was about his last match he did for WCW. It was a house show and before the match he told the audience he was going to quit WCW if he lost. Raw…is…Jericho.

LUNA vs. IVORY: The WWF always surprises me. I was worried about this match because it more or less ruins a near perfect card (Chyna/JJ is worse). But wait! The WWF realized it, too and they’ve made this into a hardcore matchup, which, at the very least, makes it watchable. Tables, chairs, frying pans, oh my!

MARK HENRY vs. D’LO BROWN: This feud came out of nowhere. I hate it when the WCW or WWF make a good guy bad just…because. At least with WCW and Sting, they’ve created a promo to put out the idea that maybe he was bad ever since he put on the Crow makeup. Mark Henry is bad for absolutely no-reason. The only good thing to come out of this feud is Mark Henry getting lap dances left and right. He was in a strip club when D’Lo came in and they fought. Raw gets more risque every week. I eat it up like vanilla pudding.

VAL VENIS vs. STEVE BLACKMAN: They don’t know what to do with Steve Blackman. At King of the Ring he had a little bit to do with the main event just because at that time he was doing absolutely nothing with the company. His feud with Shamrock has been over for awhile now, and that was the only thing he ever did. Expect him to be fired or given a massive storyline like Test has been given. I can’t wait for the wedding on October 11th  between Test and Stephanie McMahon.

CHYNA vs. JJ: The worst match of the night, even though they’ve built this match up more then any other. JJ’s current storyline is putting the figure-4 on any woman in his sight. He’s also knocked out Chyna with a frying pan and put an apron on her and a cooking spoon in her hand and told her to make him dinner. It’s funny but lame. I hate Chyna, but I hate JJ worse. Boring matchup guaranteed.

THE BIG SHOW vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. KANE vs. HHH vs. THE ROCK vs. MANKIND: Stone Cold is the special referee. I guarantee that Kane wins the belt. Why? Well it definitely could be The Rock. The ‘net hints at it, and The Rock winning the belt makes a lot of sense…but I think they’ll wait for a bigger event to have The Rock win, like Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, or Wrestlemania 2000 from Da Pond. Mankind just won the belt, albeit for one night. Big Show could take the belt because it was rumored that he would take on Austin when Raw hits the Georgia Dome at the end of October. Big Show sucks, though, and I truly doubt they would give it to him. HHH just had the belt and if he won again it would equal low ratings and bad fan reaction. The British Bulldog? I think not. He just got into the WWF and they usually make you pay for your gold. He may do something big but don’t expect him to win this early on. My pick, Kane, had the belt for one 24 hour period after 1998’s KOTR’s First Blood Main Event matchup. Kane deserves it. He’s been gaining TV time ever since the summer. He’s a crowd favorite. The match will be lame because everyone will go everywhere and they can’t show all the action at once, can they? What will Austin 3:16 do? Will he count the 1-2-3? Who knows, but if anyone gets the belt I’m guaranteeing it’s the Big Red Machine. And then he fights the Dudleys in a barbed wire match……

    What irony. I was writing up my predictions for WWF’s September pay per view, Unforgiven, and I stated that the WWF is the best that it has ever been. After Unforgiven I have one-thousand doubts. See, it was, in my mind, the worst pay per view of the year. Totally lame. A waste of everyone’s talents, everyone’s time, and everyone’s 30+ bucks. I always state that Raw and Nitro and now Smackdown are much better than the pay per views. Unforgiven defines my reasons why I believe this. There wasn’t one stand-out match of the bunch. Usually the WWF has awful, unwatchable, bore-ass pay per views with a great main event or stand-out match that makes you forget the rest of the boring show. Backlash had two good matches and the rest blew. King of the Ring had a stelar main event and a wasted two hours or shit. Unforgiven was unforgiveably lame. The main event was filled with high-energy and that is about the best thing I can say about the entire event. Wasted talent. Wasted time.

+VAL VENIS vs. STEVE BLACKMAN: I have absolutely nothing to say about this match. Blackman hits Venis once (yes, I said once) with a singapore cane and he needs medical attention. Come on. Venis at least usually has funny storylines (the Ryan Shamrock fiasco was pretty entertaining) but lately he’s been a waste. Blackman is aother story. He belongs in a stable run by WCW’s superstar, Brad Armstong. ½*

D’LO BROWN vs. MARK ‘SEXUAL CHOCOLATE’ HENRY: I picked Mark Henry because I figured he would cheat and win so the feud would at least continue until No Mercy. D’Lo won with his 5-star frog splash. *1/2

JEFF JARRETT vs. CHYNA: Technically the match sucked, but those two old geezers Moolah and Mae Brown came in and got their ass beat and then Deborah hit JJ over the skull with a gee-tar. Chyna loses by DQ because of the Deborah thing-a-ma-jig (since when did wrestling have instant replay?). The re-match has been set for No Mercy already. Expect Chyna to win there. **

+THE ACOLYTES vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ: The Dudley’s were definitely at their pinnacle during their match at ECW’s Heatwave when they cursed off the crowd for five minutes then beat the shit out of Balls Mahoney and Spike Dudley and put ‘em through flaming tables. The hardcore element has seemingly been dropped from the Dudley’s arsonal and it sucks. Why? Well the Dudley boys were only as good as the pain they induced. Barbed wire? Tables? Cheese graters? Chairs? The WWF has seemingly said, “No way.” No hardcore Dudley’s? No fun. This match was okay for a basic wrestling match but everyone expected their ECW Dudley boys. Right now they’re unrecognizable. Hopefully they’ll speed up the speech impediment storyline and put the Dudley’s back on track. Curse out the crowd, and beat the shit out of the other guy. C’mon WWF: show us the Dudley’s we’ve grown to love. Hopefully, the bookers will start a feud between the Dudley’s and the Holly’s, because right now they’re  slowly falling into boring chant territory. * ½

IVORY vs. LUNA: A hardcore women’s match? I’m going to admit right now that the worst hardcore division every devised is right there in the ol’ WWF. WCW had a small hardcore division from March until July and they at least showed us some memorable matches (Uncensored’s Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, Spring Stampede’s Hak vs. Bam Bam, and Bash at the Beach’s Junkyard Invitational). How many memorable matches has the WWF hardcore division given us? Yes, Hardcore and Al Snow fought briefly in the Mississippi river but the rest of that match was just okay. Nothing else extremely memorable in any of the Hardcore matches. Unforgiven will officially be named the time and place when the world realized the WWF HARDCORE DIVISION IS OFFICIALLY D.O.A That’s right. A god-awful women’s hardcore match and unbelieveably bad kennel from hell hardcore matchup. No bumps, no blood, no fun. This match was only about three minutes long and it was officially four minutes too long. –no stars-

+THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN: I’ve never liked either member of the NAO. They have no good moves and their personalities are lame no matter how many fans cheer. Edge and Christian are lifeless and pale in comparison to the high-flying Hardy boyz. This match was extremely slow and doesn’t anyone but me get sick of Road Dogg fake punching people? *

+AL SNOW vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN: After viewing this so-called Kennel From Hell matchup I downed two cyanide capsules and chugged half a bottle of Old No. 7. In the predictions I mentioned a now sad fact that this match was the one match of the year that I was looking forward to most. It wasn’t that I was thinking it would be good, but just to see the whole thing come together. A steel cage around the ring. A Hell in the Cell steel cage around that one. Pittbulls between the cages. Whomever gets out of both cages wins. Big Bossman deserves to be cut from the WWF roster. He’s never had a good match in his lifetime. He already ruined the menacing factor surrounding the Hell in the Cell matches. The first two HITC matches were fucking classics. Bossman and Undertaker bored the world at Wrestlemania, and now Al Snow and Bossman prove that there was absolutely no reason to have a cage around the ring, no reason to have a Hell in the Cell around that, and no reason to have pittbulls between the cages. Why? Because nothing was used. The dogs had leashes on and owners holding them back. No one took any major bumps, they didn’t even fight on the top or push someone off of either cage. This match defined the word letdown. ½*

+X-PAC vs. CHRIS JERICHO: I had one problem with Chris Jericho when I was a fan of his back in his WCW days. He was great when he got ahold of the michrophone, and hilarious in his various skits, but when he went into the ring he became a boring, average wrestler. Granted, he has a few slick moves and he’s a tad better than most, but he just can’t follow up to his talk. Ken Shamrock apparently left the WWF a little early to train for his UFC return, so Jericho was stuck with X-Pac. Jericho didn’t talk. Jericho didn’t do any skits. Jericho wrestled. ‘Nuff said. ½*

HHH vs. KANE vs. THE ROCK vs. MANKIND vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. THE BIG SHOW: The first ever 6-pack challenge. Hopefully the last. WCW had the same problem with their cruiserweight match at Fall Brawl. They used up Mysterio, Kidman, Guerrerro, and Vampiro in one match. They should have spread out the talent. This 6-pack challenge was the same way. Every match before this paled in comparison. There were a lot of finishing moves but very little special pay per view worthy moments. The biggest and best moment came when the refs on strike showed up and beat up the strike-breaking ref. It was funny in the kind of only-WWF-would-do-this way. In my oh-so studious predictions I stated that HHH wouldn’t win because it would equal low ratings and bad crowd reaction. Guess what: You heard the silent crowd, now say g’bye to ratings! **1/2

Unforgiven was a bad pay per view. I usually don’t say that about the WWF, but in the end they will be known as the uneven wrestling federation. You never know if Raw will be great or lame. With Nitro it’s the same every week. Summerslam was good but Unforgiven sucked. August was a great month for the ppv’s and September wasn’t. I’ll give Unforiven a low * because it was epically lame. Every match could have been better. I wanted something to happen. Nothing happened. $30+ for this? At least you lucky few get a copy of the WWF Music CD volume 2. It’s too bad there’s already a volume 3 out and volume 2 has crappy entrance music like Doink the Clown’s. What about my predictions? My record came last month for Summerslam. I predicted 77% of the matchups. A C+. Not bad. For Unforgiven I predicted 5 matches out of 9, which tallies up as a 55.5%….an F. You have to add the fact that I had a 1 in 6 chance of predicting the main event, plus I predicted the double main event correctly at King of the Ring and ended up failing. So there. The next pay per view is surprisingly another WWF pay per view, No Mercy. Austin takes on HHH and Chyna faces JJ. Dream matches I want to see? Dudleys vs. Holly’s or Hardy’s hardcore, Mankind vs. Big Show I-Quit, and The Rock vs. Kane. I’ll have my No Mercy predictions in about 15 days. Until then.

WCW FALL BRAWL

Sunday, September 12th from Winston-Salem, North Carolina

    WWF has three ‘gimmick’ pay per views. The Royal Rumble, The King of the Ring, and Survivor Series which at least use to have a 4 on 4 setting. WCW has World War 3, which has three rings set up and is madness, and of course Uncensored which throws the rules out the windows. WCW’s best gimmick was War Games. A 3 on 3 on 3 matchup in a two-ring steel cage. Whoever wins goes to Halloween Havoc. I’ve never seen War Games, so maybe it sucks, but at least it sounds fucking cool. If WWF had War Games they’d burn the world down. This Fall, though, the first time I will actually watch Fall Brawl, the War Games element is dropped. Why? The bookers say the last two years were disappointing. Still, will you make more bucks hyping up a lame ass same-old pay per view with nine matches or a pay per view with a main event consisting of nine wrestlers and a double steel cage? I’d choose the cage, although I would also have Hak win the whole thing, but that’s me. The card for this years Fall Brawl? It’s okay. WCW was good going into the summer, but right now they are losing it, big time. Meanwhile ECW is kicking ass with the return of Raven and the TNN show, and WWF is showcasing it’s better than ppv UPN program, Smackdown. My god, this Thursday on Smackdown! (the exclamation point is mandatory) they have (it was filmed already but not aired) a buried alive match between The Rock & Mankind vs. The Big Show & The Undertaker. Kane versus Triple H for the belt! Chris Jericho hiding in a steel cage so Shamrock can’t get to him. The Dudley Boys do an interview in the ring! So here goes my (snooze…) Fall Brawl predictions:

KAZ HAYASHI vs. LENNY LANE: What a matchup! And they wonder why they’re losing to the WWF in the ratings. I didn’t even know Kaz Hayashi existed until a week ago, so I doubt he’s going to win. Lenny and Lodi are the so-called Gaylords, though WCW made them brothers so in reality they can’t be gay. Whatever, it’s a stupid gimmick and truly lame to give Lenny Lame the fucking cruiserweight belt. Expect Lame to hold on to it for awhile anyway, since I can’t for the love of me picture Kaz walking to the ring with gold. Expect Eddie Guererro to take the belt very soon, probably at Havoc.

SATURN vs. RIC STEINER: This is for the coveted TV Title. It was rumored on the elusive ‘net that Hardcore Hak was scheduled to get the TV Title but now because he’s bitching to the executives at Chastity’s firing The Cat will receive a push. Whatever. Give the belt to anyone but Ric Steiner, he’s even more boring bad then he was good. Saturn was good when he feuded with Raven, but that was only because Raven was my favorite WCW wrestler at the time. I guess now it’s The Cat, though I’m counting down the days to Hak’s return. It’s a tossup as to who will win the belt, but I’m guessing the dawg will retain it, possibly with the help of his bro, Scott, who is apparently almost ready to return to the squared circle.

VAMPIRO & THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE vs. MYSTERIO, KIDMAN, & EDDIE GUERRO: Expect ICP to win. Why you say? Because they were mad that they had to keep jobbing and then they signed a one-year deal. Guess what? They’re winning! I like Vampiro now, too, he’s pretty wild. This should be a great matchup because ICP are fun to watch and Mysterio, Kidman, & Guerrero are three of the best wrestlers around. Could turn into the best match of the night.

BERLYN vs. BUFF BAGWELL: Alex Wright needed a gimmick so they sold him on this techno German super machine anti-USA robot-esque black death dude. He actually showed up before Columbine sitting in the stands but of course they had to pull the gimmick because he wears a black trenchcoat. Now he’s back and this is his first matchup. Expect Berlyn to win because a new guy losing doesn’t help anyone. The more life rambles on the more I hate Buff. He was great when he was bad, now he’s a sucker. This match will probably start out wild, because no one knows what to expect from Berlyn, but after five seconds expect a Bore-A-Thon 2000.

GOLDBERG vs. DDP: You love me, you hate me, you’ll never forget me. Diamond Dallas Page isn’t the best personality, but get him in the ring and he does entertain. The last time he faced Goldberg was at last year’s Halloween Havoc, the one that actually ran 3 hrs. and 10 minutes. A few cable companies pulled the plug and they had to re-air the match on Nitro the next day. The more I think about it HH had a great card last year. Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash, DDP vs. Da Man, Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior, and Bret Hart vs. Sting. Wow. Anyway, back to the matchup, Goldberg of course won with his spear and jackhammer after he kicked out of the diamond cutter. Don’t expect DDP to win here either, because no belts are on the line and when Goldberg loses again it won’t be against Diamond Scum Page. The Triad will show up and receive spears, and Da Man will make the pin. Expect a so-so matchup.

SID vs. CHRIS BENOIT: The WCW bookers gave Sid a Millennium Man gimmick where he racks up an unbeatable streak to shadow Goldberg’s and then the two will face probably at Starrcade. Problem? Some idiot in the back had Sid lose to Saturn on Thunder last week because of a DQ. No matter, Thunder gets about two viewers anyway. But giving with the Millennium Man gimmick, Sid will definitely win here, which is a shame because I expected Benoit to hold the U.S. Title for longer than a month. Hopefully he’ll get his Heavyweight push. This match will be just okay. Benoit is a great intense wrestler but Sid has one move and his fake punches miss his oppenent’s by two feet. Sid with the U.S. Belt? It sounds lame, but this is Dubbya-See-Dubbya we’re talking about.

BARRY & KENDALL WINDHAM vs. HARLEM HEAT: The West Texas Rednecks gimmick is great, especially since they’ve acquired Vincent. Now, officially, the New World Order is over. Bischoff and Co. have hinted at a reunion, but please call it something else. N.W.O. was the greatest gimmick in the sport in the last decade, but it’s over. This matchup is a joke. The Windham’s? They belong in the fucking Cuba Backyard Wrestling Alliance, not the WCW. And to boot, they’ve got the damn tag belts! It was said that they got the belts because they’re friends with the backstage bookers. Who cares, expect that friendship to die once Harlem Heat take back their belts. At least HH is a real tag team. Expect this match to reach a new record on the Lame-O-Meter.

DEAN MALENKO & SHANE DOUGLAS vs. HUGH MORRIS & BRIAN KNOBBS: This is a no-DQ match, meaning…Hardcore Rules!!! The hardcore WCW is back. Wow. Expect one of the best matches of the night. Why? Because I’ve been waiting for Douglas to hit a ppv in style…E.C.fuckin’W-style. No rules, no DQ! Boy am I impressed. Then I realized Dean Malenko, the man of a thousand positions (Ric Flair joke…where is the old timer when WCW needs him?) isn’t hardcore. Hugh Morris has that great moonsault, and he knows how to take hits. Hopefully, Hak will show up and beat the shit out of everyone. I can dream, right? Expect The Revolution to get the win, but hopefully WCW won’t fuck this up like they’ve fucked up everything in their company and make a armageddon bodies everywhere ladder smashing table crashing chair mashing monstrosity classic. Yep, still dreamin’…

STING vs. HULK HOGAN: Let me guess? Sting…or Hogan? Oh, come on fuck the charades…I guarantee Hulk Hogan wins. Why? Because Hulk Hogan is an asshole. He hogs the belt for himself. He’ll keep it until he loses it to Bret Hart at Starrcade. And even then he’ll bitch and moan and get it back for Superbrawl. What I would like to see is ANYONE OTHER THAN HOGAN WITH THE BELT. There. I said it. Sting won’t win it. Why? Because Luger is going to show up and beat him up. I was such an idiot to predict Hogan to retire. Give me a break…the signs were all there. Nash was losing. Everyone said it. Why was I so blind. I guarantee Hogan wins. Why? Because WCW hasn’t had a good main event since…since…well, the, no…since Spring Stampede. And even that was just okay, but that was the last good one. WCW has better midcard talent than stars. Hogan is such a boring wrestler! He’s a fucking old man! Make him an announcer, a manager, anything but a wrestler. Okay, I’ve said my peace. Here’s another possibility. Sting wins then faces Goldberg at Havoc. Or Sting loses and faces Luger at Havoc. He’s going to face Luger at Havoc whether you like it or not. I can’t picture a Championship match between Sting and Luger. So there. I said it. My last guarantee shocked the world. Will this one? No, but from now on I’ll try to guarantee at lest one match per ppv. It’ll be my best bet. Until the show.

    ECW’s Anarchy Rulz ppv tomorrow should be awesome. Sabu vs. Justin Credible should be better than 99.9% of what the WCW passes on as wrasslin’. Fall Brawl didn’t have the War Games element and it definitley needed something like it. It was, without a doubt, the worst WCW ppv so far this year. At least the Great American Bash had Hak vs. Brian Knobbs in what turned into a ladder match, Sting being attacked by two dobermans and a pitt bull, and Sid Vicious making his first WCW appearance. The ppv sucked, but it had three moments. Fall Brawl didn’t have any. Sting winning surprised me, since I did gurantee the opposite. Bischoff isn’t the president anymore of WCW so that’s more or less why Hogan lost the belt. The problem was the card. WCW hasn’t put together a good card since they had the three good pay per views in a row, Uncensored, Spring Stampede, and Slamboree. Then they dropped every slice of quality they had with the awful Great American Bash, they below-average Bash at the Beach and the marginal Road Wild. I enjoyed Road Wild but that was just because WCW actually put together a half decent pay per view. Compare Road Wild to an ECW ppv and you fall out of your seat. Even WWF’s Unforgiven has a sweet card, much better than the lousy Summerslam card. Here are my thoughts on WCW’s 1999 Fall Bore:

STING vs. HULK HOGAN: This was such a major angle that it should have shocked the world. By the time Sting turned bad and hit Hulk Hogan with his black baseball bat I was so damned bored and lifeless from the other matches that I couldn’t give eight shits. The match really sucked. Hogan was good when he was bad. He could hit you with chairs, whip you with his strap, and cheat like the evil bastard he was. Now he’s back in his lame red and yellow good-guy image and it blows. He’s so fucking old he can’t execute any great moves or offense. Sting is at least exciting. The only good part of this match was when DDP showed up, then Sid, then Luger. Sting of course turned bad but nobody cares. If life was good then Hogan would become a manager and keep out of the ring. *1/2 (out of ****)

+KAZ HYASHI vs. LENNY LANE: I’m almost ashamed to admit this was probably the best match of the night. Lenny Lane surprised me with his great cruiserweight moves, and even though I’ve never seen Kaz wrestle, he’s not too bad. The match had some great moves and a lot of close 2 ½ almost-pins. It’s too bad they didn’t build this match up at all like WWF and ECW do their ppv matches. It seemed like they were just fighting because WCW needed more matches on their pay per view. **1/2

+SATURN vs. RIC STEINER: Chris Benoit has the TV Title now, which is better then either Saturn or Dog. I hate both wrestlers. Saturn is okay. His feud with Chris Jericho earlier in the year was pretty wild, but now he’s only mildly entertaining. Without Raven, Saturn is lost. Raven and Saturn’s feud was one of WCW’s best in recent years. Did you hear Hak is back from his injuries? He’s wrestling at a house show tomorrow, which hopefully means he'll be on Nitro. Must’ve been a half-assed lame match if I’m talking about someone who has absolutely nothing to do with this match whatsoever. *1/2

VAMPIRO & THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE vs. MYSTERIO, KIDMAN, & EDDIE GUERRERO: This was a re-match from Road Wild. I think they should have made a singles match between Vampiro and one of the three good-guys, and then have the ICP face the other two in tag-team competition. I would have made more sense then to again waste some of the best talent WCW has in one match. I liked the Road Wild match better, though it was interesting to find that Mysterio hurt his knee, Eddie was injured somehow, and Vampiro got a black eye and mild concussion during this match. With all of those injuries you would think the match was jaw-droppingly awesome. It wasn’t. **

HUGH MORRIS & BRIAN KNOBBS vs. DEAN MALENKO & SHANE DOUGLAS: This match was a No-DQ match, which I had figured was more or less a Hardcore match. I was totally wrong. Why they instituted the no-disqualification gimmick for this match is beyond me. No ladders, no tables, no chairs, no fun. It was such a lame match. The only thing they did that would have gotten them disqualified was fighting outside of the ring for more then a 10-count. Wow. Big fucking deal. *1/2

+HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. BERLYN: Buff Bagwell was in the back but the announcers gave a note that Bagwell was late to the arena and he wouldn’t be wrestling Berlyn. So guess who they got? I was hoping for someone other than Jerry Flynn, and I was surprised that they got the overweight, senior citizen Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Yes, the guy beat cancer. I respect that he’s been though a lot, but why is he still being paid by WCW? He doesn’t even wrestle on Nitro or Thunder. The new president of WCW, Bill Busch, was noted as saying expect twenty wrestlers to be fired come the end of the year. Bye, bye Hacksaw. ½ *

+BARRY & KENDALL WINDHAM vs. HARLEM HEAT: Give me a break. I always made fun of the WWF for not having a good tag team division. Boy do I room to talk. The WCW tag team division consists, more or less, of Harlem Heat. The Windhams aren’t even a tag team, they’re part of a bigger group called The West Texas Rednecks. This match was a disaster. Hopefully Bill Busch will pull out no stops to have Halloween Havoc actually be a watchable pay per view. To think, Fall Brawl cost thirty-bucks. I give out my sympathies to friends and family of those who purchased the ppv. *

GOLDBERG vs. DDP: The only other watchable match on the pay per view. Goldberg never disappoints, so it’s with good reason that Bill Busch (I love that name don’t I?) has mentioned the new center of WCW will be Goldberg. More or less this says fuck Hogan, right? Expect Goldberg to get the belt soon, either on a Nitro (In Philly on Oct. 18th…that’d be toooo sweeeeet) or an upcoming ppv. I would love to see a re-match of Goldberg and Sting, since both times they’ve fought neither guy has one. The first time they fought Sting had the scorpion deathlock on Bill when the N.W.O. showed up and it turned into a DQ. The next time they fought Bret Hart showed up and beat the shit out of both dudes, turning it into yet another DQ. So Goldberg/Sting still has to be resolved. Now with a belt on the line it’s even sweeter. Hopefully, if Bill Busch and Co. realize a Hogan/Sting rematch would enact an anti-WCW campaign worldwide, they’ll push for a Sting/Goldberg main event at ‘Havoc for the coveted belt. I’d much rather see that then Sid/Goldberg. Who cares about the Millennium Man storyline? I think it sucks. **1/2

6 out of 9 predictions I got correctly. That’s a marginal 66.6%, a D. All in all Fall Brawl gets a * star rating. I know it’s low, but Fall Bore was so bad it wasn’t even funny. You have to factor in the price. I’d rather pay $30 bucks for ECW on TNN or WWF’s Smackdown!. Nitro has gotten bad fast. This week it started off great with Dean Malenko verse Chris Benoit in one of the best Nitro fights in years, then Ric Flair’s great return. It ended up same-old and sort of lame, compared to Raw which showcased the return of Vinnie Mac and Jericho’s hilarious Gotch Gracie routine. Did I mention Thunder wasn’t live or taped, it showcased recent matches and events while Smackdown had Vinnie Mac beat HHH for the belt with the help of Austin 3:16. Take that. Hopefully, Halloween Havoc will surprise us, since WCW is making a lot of changes. With Goldberg as the center of attention doesn’t that technically mean he’ll be in the main event of Havoc? I’d love to see a three-way dance with Hogan/Sting/Goldberg, but that’s not exactly what the bookers want, is it? Tomorrow ECW’s Anarchy Rulz is on, with Taz vs. Masato Tanaka, Justin Credible vs. Sabu, Lance “I’m from Calgary, Alberta, Canada” Storm vs. Jerry Lynn, and Raven & Dreamer vs. Steve Chorino and a mystery opponent. Wow! ECW always has the best ppv’s, and so far this years best pay per view is, without a doubt, May’s Hardcore Heaven. WWF’s Unforgiven is in eight days. The card is great. HHH vs. Rock vs. ‘Taker vs. Big Slow vs. Kane vs. Mankind in a six-way match for the belt. How Vince McMahon’s win over HHH will factor into this is beyond me. Other matches are Jericho vs. Shamrock, The Dudley Boys vs. The Acolytes, and Bossman vs. Al Snow in a hardcore cage match within a Hell in the Cell circled by dogs. Whew. And you wonder why I re-named it Fall Bore. Until then.

WWF SUMMERSLAM

Sunday, August 22nd, 1999 from Minneapolis, Minnesota

    Summerslam is two days away and I’m not very excited. Wrestlemania excited me because, well, for the most part I was excited because it took place in Philly. King of the Ring was exciting because it had a killer main event. Summerslam is supposed to be the second biggest WWF ppv of the year, right? This year they’ve brought Jesse “The Gov’na” Ventura to ref the main event. That’s big, sure, but it seems like the rest of the card is mediocre at best. The actual main event is much better now that Mankind has been added to the mix. It looks as if the bookers realized no one in their right mind gave three fucks about HHH so they added a real crowd favorite. Smart move, kid. And guess what? Mankind will be champ. I guarantee it. But more on that below:

THE ROAD DOGG vs. AL SNOW vs. BIG BOSSMAN: This is a three-way hardcore match. I’m a very big fan of these matches, but only if they leave the arena and fight backstage and outside. Why you say? Well, it’s different than the other matches and adds something to a ppv. The hardcore division really jumpstarted with that great Hardcore Holly/ Al Snow feud which lasted from February until May. It was wild, and because of it Hardcore ‘The Big Shot’ Holly is a big time WWF player. This three-way should be decent but don’t expect The Bossman to take any major bumps. He’s been adamant to the WWF that he hates hardcore wrestling and he wants to drop the belt. Guess what, folks? The Road Dogg should retain the Hardcore Belt.

THE BIG SHOW & THE UNDERTAKER vs. KANE & X-PAC: This match has a lot of superstars…but seriously. The Big Show sucks. He’s so damn slow and lame. The Undertaker has lost all of his charm, and even though one of my favorties is Kane, he’s not the best wrestler. You would expect The Big Show & ‘Taker to win, right? Undertaker is going to have hip surgery so don’t expect them to win. Anyway, expect Kane and ‘Pac to lose to the winners of the tag tourney either on Raw or during the re-match on Smackdown.

SHANE McMAHON vs. TEST: Shane only wrestlers on the BIG ppvs. He wrestled a fantastic match at Wrestlemania against X-Pac that I garnered ***1/2. Why? Because Shane is fucking hilarious and very entertaining. The next time he wrestled was at the hilarious ladder matchup for all the marbles at KOTR. I gave that ***1/2, though I do admit I have a soft spot for ladder matches, my favorite kind of match. Expect this to be a great matchup. Expect the Greenwhich Possee to show up, and Stephanie to show up, since the stipulation involves her. If Test wins he can continue to see Steph and Shane will not interfere. If Shane wins Test must break up with Steph and never see her again. I think since the Test and Stephanie storlyine is kind’ve old expect Shane to win.

IVORY vs. TORI: If they actually put this match on TV I will puke. The WWF’s women’s division is almost as sad as the WCW’s women’s division. Ivory vs. Tori? That’s more or less Shotgun-calibur. I don’t even know who has the belt, but Ivory is tough…isn’t she?

THE ROCK vs. MR. ASS: If Bad Ass Billy Gunn wins I will give you fifty million dollars. Why you say? The Rock, in my mind, is the best personality the WWF has had in a loooooong time. Mr. Ass sucks. He won the KOTR tournament for no reason at all. This feud is so lame it’s worth spilling milk over. I want to see that Rock/Jericho feud. Rumors say it won’t happen soon enough, meaning Jericho may just feud with X-Pac at first. Anyway, this match will probably suck though at least Rock entertains the piss out of you.

JEFF JARRETT vs. D’LO BROWN: D’Lo Brown has the European Title and the Intercontinental Title. One has to give, right? Rumors on the net say he’ll lose the IC title to JJ who will lose it to Jericho on Raw. These aren’t really rumors but fantasies. Expect JJ to take the IC title off him and lose it on Smackdown…but to Jericho? Who knows.

KEN SHAMROCK vs. STEVE BLACKMAN: This is a so-called ‘Lions Den Weapons Match’. The Lion’s Den is pretty cool, but adding weapons to such a small area? I don’t buy it, but at least it’s not a regular wrasslin’ match. This technically could go either way, especially since Shamrock beat Blackman last month, but I still expect the bastard to win.

TAG TEAM TURMOIL (ACOYLTES): This is a tag team tournamanet that probably will majorily be on Sunday Night Heat involving the following teams:
The Acolytes
Droz & Prince Albert
The Hardy Boyz
Hardcore Holly
Edge & Christian
Val Venis & The Godfather
Mideon & Viscera
    The funniest part is Hardcore Holly being a tag team. At first I figured it would be him and his cousin, (great concept) Crash Holly, but no- it’s just The Big Shot. That will be very funny, but in the end, expect The Acolytes to win the tournament which gets them a shot at the real tag team the following night on Raw. Why the Acolytes? Well yes, the do suck, but in the world of WWF they always win or have the number one contender shots. Why? Maybe McMahon likes them, I don’t know, but they always come out on top so it makes sense they’ll win here.

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN vs. MANKIND vs. HHH: Ever since Hunter Hearst Helmsley signed a contract that stated he’d be the WWF champ sometime in 1999, everyone figured he’d win it at Summerslam. Hell, it has been practically sealed in stone on the internet that HHH would win. Now wait one fucking minute. Remember the KOTR where everyone thought The Big Show would win? They tricked us. No way in hell is Triple H going to win here. Why you say? Because it would ruin the end of a ppv. HHH will win the belt from Mankind on the premiere of Smackdown! Yes, that’s right. Mankind winning the belt at the climax of Summerslam would be shining, great moment. HHH winning would piss everyone off. Expect a brutal matchup and Mankind to take the gold.

    It’s 2:56 pm on Monday, August 23rd, 1999. I start school tomorrow, but I’m more focused on the great night of wrestling ahead of me. The Las Vegas Nitro proves to be a big one. Sting vs. Hogan for the belt, with rumors of Sting going oldschool colors and Hogan turning bad, plus Kiss performing, and a possible return for Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. Wow. WWF doesn’t really have anything set it stone but last night’s Summerslam was a great ppv. And guess what folks? I guaranteed that Mankind would win the title. No one in the world said Mankind would win. I did. I was right. You can take that guarantee to the bank. It should be a great live RAW tonight with rumors of Jericho interrupting Stone Cold’s interview, plus tomorrow night they’re taping Smackdown! To premiere on Thursday night on UPN. Wow. What a big fat wrestling week. After I catch the re-play of Summerslam on Tuesday I’ll write my in-depth review, but for now I’ll let you know what my record was. There were 9 matches. I correctly predicted 7, though I did pick the winners of the whole fucking tag team tournament, which should garner extra points. But I won’t become an asshole. 7 out of 9 is an astounding 77%. My highest prediction number. Along with that I’m pushing towards a *** rating for the event. Wow. It truly was a big ppv.

+JEFF JARRETT vs. D’LO BROWN: Coming into this match, D’Lo Brown had both the European Title and the Intercontinental Title. He left title-less. How? Mark ‘Sexual Chocolate’ Henry turned on his best bud to let JJ get the win. All in all a pretty lame even. This was the first ppv to have no wrestling on Sunday Night Heat before the ppv. I think this is good, because filling four hours of wrestling is hard, and the past few ppv’s had better Heat’s than actual ppvs. Now it’s all backstage interviews and music filled promos. Because of Smackdown now Heat has no wrestling anyway, just re-caps of the week, interviews, and my favorite new segment: Deja Video, where they show classic WWF moments with bonus interviews. The first segment had the infamous ‘Taker/Mankind Hell in the Cell matchup. Great. Heat is turning out to be a great show. Anyway, this match up here, why am I not talking about it? Two words: It sucked. ‘Nuff said. *1/2

+AL SNOW vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN: Yes, I am aware of the fact that up there a few ways I predicted The Road Dogg Jesse James to win the coveted Hardcore title in this match. Wait a minute. He didn’t even fight! No, he didn’t, but I did predict Bossman after I realized Dogg wasn’t fighting, just more or less ‘reffing’. The two combatants went across the street into a bar where they fought over bar stools and pool tables. I love these hardcore matches, though the WWF Hardcore Matches aren’t really ‘hardcore’, just No-DQ. You want hardcore? Check out TNN Friday’s at 8. Oh yeah, ECW’s got Raven back. Excellent, though I will miss him in Dubbya-C-Dubbya. He was once my favorite wrestler. Maybe he still will be. **1/2

+TAG TEAM TURMOIL (THE ACOLYTES): I picked the whole fucking tag team tournament! Of course my reasoning was excellent. The Acolytes do always win, I don’t know why. They got their title shot and lost, and now Mankind and The Rock are the tag team champs…how lame, though I have to give the WWF it’s due; without Vinnie Mac and Austin, they’ve got four hours a week to fill, which isn’t easy. This so-called Tag Team Turmoil was pretty fast paced and exciting. The Hardy Boyz definitely were the show stoppers, and the Hardcore Hollys the comedy relief. **1/2

SHANE O’MAC vs. TEST: I should have known better. This match had an interesting stipulation. If Shane McMahon wins, then Test can never see Stephanie McMahon again. If Test wins, then Shane and his posse have to leave the couple alone. Of course Test wins leading into the big time storyline of Test and Stephanie’s wedding, with the stoogest, Brisco and Patterson as the best men. At first I figured this wedding to take place at Wrestlemania, but that’s kind of a long way away, I’m figuring at the Survivor Series it’ll go down. Remember the Macho Man/Elizabeth wedding when Jake the Snake ruined it? Hilarious shit. Anyway, back to the best match of the night. Maybe it’s me, but Shane McMahon always has the best matches. Remember his Wrestlemania match against X-Pac? ***1/2. Remember the ladder match against Austin at KOTR? ***1/2. Here’s another ***1/2 for ya. Not only did Shane jump off the top rope and elbow drop Test through the spanish announce table, but the Greenwich Posse showed up and sat on a couch (yes, a couch) at ringside with a lamp and even a self portrait (I’m not kidding you). This is what wrestling is all about. Wow!

+IVORY vs. TORRI: What a lame match. This women’s division blows. Luna, Torri, and Ivory. Snooze Alert. Ivory wins. Can you believe I picked it? You know what’s wrong with this women’s division? The women aren’t hot! Sable was hot! Get some hot women! ½*

+THE ROCK vs. MR. ASS: This was a bad match…why? Because Mr. Ass is not in The Rock’s league. Add to the fact that they were both fighting for really no reason or belt, and you’ve got a bad ppv match. The only redeeming thing was Mr. Ass’s surprise; a fat women hidden under a grey blanket. The Rock is great when he’s got the mike, though it takes Mankind to get a good match out of the dude. *1/2

X-PAC & KANE vs. THE BIG SHOW & THE UNDERTAKER: Right now The Big Show is the worst wrestler in the business. Why? Because he’s so fucking slow and lame. Right now he has the worst storyline; working for The Undertaker. The ‘Taker has a neat gimmick, but get him in the ring and you will fall asleep. The only good matches he’s been in is when the other wrestler did cool stuff. I say bring back the Hell in the Cell but put The Dudley Boyz in it. Who should they face? Kane is good. Mankind’s already done everything possible with the HITC. Maybe the Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz Hell in the Cell. I’d order that ppv! This match was lame, though, and I was wrong, so let’s go to the next match before you make a lame ass comment. **

+STEVE BLACKMAN vs. KEN SHAMROCK: This was a Lions Den Weapons match. Everyone in the arena was apparently upset because they couldn’t see the thing. You didn’t miss anything. The weapons included nunchucks and a singapore cane. I think a chain was hanging around. Shamrock knocked out Blackman. I never liked either wrestler, but at least Jericho is starting a feud with the rock of sham. *1/2

+TRIPLE H vs. MANKIND vs. STONE COLD: I picked it. Yeah, enough gloating. Triple H won the belt anyway the next night, so it wasn’t too sweet a victory for Mc. This match had a lot of potential but failed. Stone Cold hasn’t been involved in a good match lately. The KOTR ladder match was halfway decent, but Stone Cold is more stale than ever for me. The last good main event WWF feud was The Rock/Mankind. Boy were those a great series of matches; the I-Quit match, the ladder match, the Halftime Heat match, the Survivor Series finale, and the Last Man standing match. With Triple H holding the belt, don’t expect any good main event feuds. This match was just okay. Jesse Ventura really didn’t do anything, which was a little disappointing. I wish the main event had a night ending bang but it didn’t. **

    So there you go. Summerslam ’99 is over. It was a good ppv. **1/2. The best parts were the Shane/Test fight and the tag team turmoil. The hardcore fight was entertaining. The main event needing some fireworks, but all in all the ppv was a worthy Summerslam. As you all know, I shattered my old predictions with a staggeringly okay 77%, C+. I added up the stars and got 17.5. In twelve days WCW’s Fall Brawl greets us with it’s presence, minus the War Games element. The main event is Sting vs. Hogan. I’m sorry, but WCW has me frustrated. I thought they were on an upswing but they’re slowing down. Road Wild was good, but they need more. The Sid as Millenium Man isn’t cutting it. Where is Hak? As soon as he returns, all will be good. Until then.