WWF ARMAGEDDON

Sunday, December 12th, 1999 from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

    Okay. Where the fuck was I? I leave you with the predictions for Halloween Havoc and then I disappear until Christmas. I’ll explain, and yes, I know I’d better.
    I realized that when I rated matches I would actually have to watch all the matches, not just the ones I cared about. I was stuck watching Van Hammer take on the Dog just because I had to rate it so I could rate the ppv as a whole. Well I got sick of wading through boring ass pre-lim matches so I quit it. I’m back though, because I had a day off and a late work night and decided to catch the encore of Armageddon and watch the whole thing.
    Now I have a realization why I stopped in the first place. BUT Survivor Series and Mayhem sucked anyway, and ‘Havoc was marginal so you didn’t miss much. 
    Oh, yeah, winners underlined and correct predictions +ed:

THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE HEADBANGERS vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN vs. THE HARDY BOYZ vs. PETE GAS & RODNEY vs. THE ACOLYTES vs. TOO COOL vs. SEXUAL CHOCOLATE & THE GODFATHER: Jesus Christmas, what the hell kind of match was this? Well a Royal Rumble type of matchup. I picked Edge & Christian, but the Acolytes (who always win) took it. I miss the ECW Dudley’s. Barbed wire. Flaming table. Major juicage. Major heat. Oh well. Average matchup. **

+STEVE BLACKMAN vs. KURT ANGLE: I seriously have nothing to say about this match. Really. *

JAQUELINE vs. MS. KITTY vs. IVORY vs. BB: The WWF has really sunken to a new low with the so-called ‘Women’s Division’. They had a mud wrestling match, a gravy match, a swimming pool match, and on Raw last night a pudding match. Jesus H. Christ. This one at the ppv was a swimming pool four way. Oh yeah, Ms. Kitty showed her tits. Talk about an exhibitionist champion. ***

+THE HOLLY’S vs. VISCERA & RAKISHI FATU: On Smackdown, Too Cool and Rakishi were in a dance club and it was pretty damn funny. This match was pretty lame, though, but I love the Holly’s. Those guys are pretty damn funny. I wish Hardcore went back to the hardcore division, though, because quite frankly, Bossman isn’t cutting it. *1/2

+VAL VENIS vs. D’LO vs. BULLDOG: This matchup was for the coveted European Championship. Val Venis said he was going to go to Europe and get some tail if he won. Hopefully on Smackdown we’ll have a funny segment with plane ride and all. I’m not exactly counting on it. This match was okay I s’pose. **

+KANE vs. X-PAC: My boy Kane gave X-Pac a good ass whipping. This was a cage match, and if you hadn’t figured it out yet, I like Kane; The Big Red Machine. I think he deserves a title reign, since he has held the belt but only for 24 hours. Turn him heel, too, because as a good guy he blows. Turn him evil and make him a sick bastard and have him win the belt at February’s ppv. This match was pretty cool. Pac handcuffed Kane to the cage and hit him a few times with a chair. Kane eventually clotheslined Pac after jumping off the top of the cage. He tombstoned the little man and won. I love that red bastard. Hopefully at Wrestlemania he’ll take his mask off…now that’s sports entertainment. ***

+CHRIS ‘Y2J’ JERICHO vs. CHYNA: Jericho, my boy, won his first WWF belt, the Intercontinental Belt, which is more or less Mid-Card belt. Jericho kicked off Raw too so he’s going places. He’s funny as all hell and I like him. WWF is really good right now, as opposed to WCW which just can’t seem to get it together. This match was pretty good with Jericho’s antics and moves. I still can’t get over Ms. Kitty going out with that old bag Lawler. **1/2

NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. ROCK ‘N SOCK CONNECTION: I was thinking at work tonight, instead of HHH vs. Rock at Wrestlemania, make it Rock vs. Mankind. Why? Those two jabronies have had the best matches in the past year. Though both are faces so don’t watch for it to happen soon. This match was okay. Mankind just isn’t watchable unless he falls on barbed wire or goes through a table or bleeds like a stuck pig. The last hardcore match he had was way back in April when he took on Big Show in the boiler room brawl. Hopefully his match against Al Snow at the Royal Rumble will be a no-holds barred war. Hopefully. **

GIANT vs. BOSSMAN: I picked Bossman. You would think with all of this major buildup there would be a payoff. Bossman did shit to Giant for a month and a half and Bossman doesn’t take any major bumps? Put him through a table, hit him with a chair, make him bleed and take him within seconds of his life. This match was such a letdown it wasn’t even funny. Giant as the champ is a laughing joke. He’s losing it to HHH at the Royal Rumble anyway so that’s kind of a good thing, though Hunter as champ is a little bit old. *

+HHH vs. VINCE McMAHON: Well HHH proved it. Evey match Shane or Vince in this year has been a ***1/2 affair. The Vince/Austin cage match, the Shane/X-Pac match, the Shane/Vince/Austin ladder match, and the Shane/Test match were all memorable and best of the year candidates. This match was pretty lame. Why? HHH. He sucks. Austin has charisma, and Shane has the high flying vernacular. Plus, Vince was heel the other times he fought. This was a lame match to cap off an average night with. Yes, it ended good, with Steph turning against Vince and hugging HHH, but that was obvious (thanks to the ‘net). They went outside and shit. It was too long. I’m very dissappointed. Though Raw kicked ass so I’m back on the WWF bandwagon. Right now WWF is better than WCW. Last week it wasn’t. What about next week after Starrcade? We’ll just have to see. **

    66%, a D. I predicted 6 out of 10. Seriously, though, that tag match had 8 teams to pick from, and the female match had 4 to choose, and the European had 3. I ain’t complaining. Armageddon gets **. It was okay. Highlights? Ms. Kitty flashing her tits, the cage match between Kane and X-Pac, Jericho winning the IC belt, and Steph turning heel. Bad parts? The Giant/Bossman match was a MAJOR letdown, and I would love to see Mick Foley take some bumps on the pay per views, shit- people pay 30 large.
    Anyway, next week is WCW’s supposed big show, Starrcade. It has a triple main event. The only match I’m curious about is the Benoit/Hall ladder match, though Scott Hall is a litle old to do anything interesting in the ring. The DDP/David Flair crowbar on a pole match sounds interesting, but Russo & Ferrara so far are having a lot of trouble with WCW. It’s funny and watchable, yes, but it really isn’t any better than it was in September, and WWF is kicking it’s ass with reuniting DX and heel Steph storylines. Oh well. Hopefully at the Rumble in MSG, Mankind will face Al Snow in a hardcore bout with some great bumps, I mean remember Rock and Mick’s I Quit Rumble match last January? A classic. It’ll probably be HHH and Big Show where HHH will win. The Rock is going to Wrestlemania, but whether or not he wins the Rumble is beyond me. I’d like to see Shane O’Mac wrestle, and hopefully the Hardy’s take on someone other than Edge & Christian. I haven’t seen a RR in years, so I’m definitely looking forward to it, plus with MSG taking center stage, there will be magic in the air. Until then.