TNA VICTORY ROAD

Sunday, March 13th, 2011 from Orlando, Florida

TOMMY DREAMER vs. BULLY RAY: This was a classic pseudo-ECW match. They wrestled all over the building. They used weapons like a blow-up sex doll. The finish had D-Von's sons come out and distract Bully Ray and then Dreamer and D-Von put Bully through a table. Probably as good as it ever could have been. *1/2 (out of ****)

ANGELINA LOVE & WINTER vs. SARITA & ROSITA: Remember when TNA had good women's matches? Those were the days. -No Stars-

MATT MORGAN vs. HERNANDEZ "First Blood Match": Hernandez should go back to AAA. And I've never seen a good First Blood match. Hernandez was cut but sprayed fake blood onto Morgan and Morgan lost. 1/2*

KAZARIAN vs. ROBBIE E vs. MAX BUCK vs. JEREMY BUCK "Ultimate X Match": This was a great match. Kazarian's moves look so dangerous. I'd never agree to wrestle him. The two Bucks, who make up Generation Me, were phenomenal. Tazz called their one maneuver, "Circue du Soleil." The finish had Kazarian walking across the top of the structure while Robbie E set up a ladder and started climbing up. Kazarian knocked Robbie E off the ladder and grabbed the belt. There were a ton of moves that you really had to see to believe, but it was wild and super entertaining. ***1/2

BEER MONEY vs. INK INC.: Shannon Moore still looks like he's 12...but wasn't he wrestling in WCW? This match was oh-so boring. Beer Money is an embarrassment. -No Stars-

A.J. STYLES vs. MATT HARDY: Hardy did a moonsault off of the top rope. Otherwise this match was epically slow. Why weren't Somoa Joe and Kurt Angle on this show? *

MR. ANDERSON vs. RVD: Dave Meltzer said it best when he said, "Does TNA want people to stop buying their ppv's?" This match ended in a double count out when Anderson DDT'd RVD on the ring apron and they both couldn't get back in. A terrible finish to an average match. **

STING vs. JEFF HARDY: Wow. A minute long main event. And it was still better than half of the other matches. Sting pinned Hardy 1:28 into the match. Hardy did take a very long time getting out from the back to make his entrance. I'm guessing he was hurt. If that's the case...why not change the main event? It's not like TNA promotes their ppv matches anyway. As Sting walked up the entrance way after the match the fans were yelling stuff at him and he said, "I agree. I agree." Even the wrestlers realize their company sucks. That's not good. 1/2*

WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER

Sunday, February 20th, 2011 from Oakland, California

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. KOFI KINGSTON: I missed this non-title match, but Del Rio won. Remember when this ppv used to have the first Elimination Chamber match go on first?

EDGE vs. REY MYSTERIO vs. THE BIG SHOW vs. DREW MCINTYRE vs. WADE BARRET vs. KANE: Epic and awesome. This was the best WWE match since the Smackdown TLC match in December. It was fast paced and was pretty brutal. Barret and Mysterio both got tossed through the plastic pod door causing a loud crash that the audience loved. Mysterio also got tossed head first into one of the pod walls. The ending had Mysterio and Edge left and both kicked out of a ton of finishing moves before Edge speared Mysterio in mid-air and won. Smackdown is a terrible show, but this was a masterpiece. **** (out of ****)

BOOKER T. & TRISH STRATUS: These two, along with 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, are hosting the new Tough Enough show. They more or less talked to the audience and it was awful. What's up with all the filler on this show?

SATINO MARELLA & VLADIMIR KOSLOV vs. HEATH SLATER & JUSTIN GABRIEL: The Tag titles changed hands...but are there any other tag teams on RAW? Gabriel's finisher is great. When he stood on the top rope ready to deliver is double flip maneuver the crowd was oohing and aahing. That's about it. *1/2

VICKI GUERRERO & KELLY KELLY & LAYCOOL: Dolph Ziggler was fired on Smackdown. That was the reason The Big Show was in the first chamber match. Teddy Long re-hired Kelly Kelly, who beat down Vicki. Then Laycool came out and Trish Stratus and it was a sloppy mess.

THE MIZ vs. JERRY 'THE KING' LAWLER: Very dull. There wasn't one surprise on this show which was kind of sad. *1/2

JOHN CENA vs. RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN MORRISON vs. KING SEAMUS vs. CM PUNK vs. R. TRUTH: A little too slow compared to the terrific first chamber match. CM Punk got stuck getting out of his pod and was thus beat down and pinned so the RAW GM let him re-enter the match. Morrison climbed up the ceiling and dropped down onto Seamus. That was the highlight. Cena won after pinning CM Punk. The crowd was pretty dead for this match. It was good but nothing special. **1/2

TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS

Sunday, February 13th, 2011, from Orlando, Florida

KAZARIAN vs. ROBBIE E: I only caught the tail end of this match, but Kazarian won the X-Division title.

BEER MONEY & SCOTT STEINER vs. GUNNER & MURPHY & ROB TERRY: Steiner is still wrestling? That's a surprise. Kind of sad ppv with The Motor City Machine Guns and AJ Styles absent. This was average stuff really. **

SOMOA JOE vs. POPE: The Pope stalled early and kept leaving the ring. Ooooh...psychological mind games! The stalling probably is the reason I thought that this match was kind of short, because when they started wrestling it didn't seem to last long enough. Pope tapped out and Joe won. Nothing special, but Joe looked good. **

MADISON RAYNE vs. MICKIE JAMES: A wild brawl more than a match. **

MATT MORGAN/HERNANDEZ: So Hernandez hates Morgan because of the tension between Mexicans and Americans? Huh? Weird. Hernandez came out and beat up Morgan to set up a feud that makes absolutely no sense.

RVD vs. MATT HARDY: It was entertaining, but both guys are shells of their former selves and it's kind of sad. **

BULLY RAY vs. DEVON: So Devon's two sons came out and obviously got beat up by Bubba Ray Dudley...or Bully Ray...or whatever he's called now. Bully handcuffed Devon to the ring post and then put one of his kids through a table. It was a super slow, super mediocre match. 1/2*

JEFF JARRETT vs. KURT ANGLE: Good but not great, although Angle was incredible, fast, and almost at his best. These two had a spectacular match a few years ago in TNA and this one wasn't as good but still the best of the night. The hilarious stipulation is that if Angle lost he would have to walk Karen down the aisle to renew JJ and Karen's wedding vows. Who writes this shit? Oh, wait...I think Vince Russo still does. **1/2

JEFF HARDY vs. MR. ANDERSON “Ladder Match”: Remember the epic ladder matches Jeff Hardy was in in the WWE? Well forget those because they're gone. This was slow and really sloppy. Jeff did a lot of suicidal stuff but even the ending was botched when he fell from the top without the belt and then had to go scramble back up and get it. Anderson did take a ton of punishment, and even delivered his Fireman's Carry finisher onto a ladder which was awesome. Why did Jeff lose last month only to win here? A one month title reign for Anderson? Kind of lame. **1/2

WWE Royal Rumble

Sunday, January 30th, 2011, from Boston

EDGE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: I loved that both title matches went on first. Usually at a ppv you have to slog through an hour and a half waiting to see the main event matches. The problem was that there were no title changes and both matches ended in controversy. In this match, Edge's Spear was deemed illegal by Vickie Guerrero...so of course he used it to win when the ref wasn't looking. Not great, but the best match of the night. **1/2

THE MIZ vs. RANDY ORTON: CM Punk and Nexus helped The Miz win for no other reason than to set up Orton vs. Punk at Wrestlemania. As much as I like The Miz as champ, he's never been in a great match. The Nexus showing up helped alleviate this match from a total bore. **

EVE vs. NATALYA vs. LAYLA vs. MICHELLE McCOOL: A Fatal Four Way Women's Title match. What's worse? Probably nothing. 1/2*

THE ROYAL RUMBLE (ALBERTO DEL RIO): I picked John Morrison, but when he was knocked off the ring early and clung to the barrier like a cat I knew he wasn't winning. He eventually climbed up and lept onto the stairs and back into the ring, but if he was supposed to win than he never would have been given the chance to do something like that. With forty wrestlers, this was the biggest Rumble ever. It was also very boring. The Nexus took control early until The Great Khali showed up. Diesel and Booker T. were surprise entrants that got thrown out super fast even though the crowd loved them. The Miz, doing commentary, ran into the ring and threw John Cena out. Santino got KO'd and fell to the floor under the ropes and didn't return until Alberto Del Rio was the only one left. Would Santino actually win this thing? Flashbacks of David Arquette as the WCW Champ swirled in my head...but Del Rio tossed Santino out and Alberto Del Rio won. Not the best show but a good choice to have Del Rio win. **

TNA GENESIS

Sunday, January 9th, 2010, from Orlando, Florida

JAY LETHAL vs. FRANKIE KAZARIAN: The X-Division title changed hands yet again. I kind of thought the Jersey Shore dude had the title. Kazarian is a member of the N.W.O....I mean “Immortal,” the group led by Bischoff and Flair and pretty much everyone in TNA. This was, more or less, a basic match. It was typical, really, and not all that exciting. *1/2 (out of ****)

MADISON RAYNE vs. MICKIE JAMES: For some strange reason the crowd was really into this match. You know...they could have just went to a strip club that features Jell-O wrestling. I heard that Awesome Kong signed with the WWE. Really? I hope she knows they fucking destroy all women wrestlers that sign with them. Look at Gail Kim. Or, actually, don't. I'm not even sure if she's still with them. This was better than most WWE women's matches...but I paid little attention to it. I remember them jumping on each other and fake punching. *

THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. BEER MONEY: A total let down. Why is this surprising? The Machine Guns are the best, most exciting tag team in wrestling. Beer Money is the exact opposite. It had less spots and was more a traditional match. Eh. **

BROTHER RAY vs. D-VON: I hope we don't see a rematch. 1/2*

DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. ABYSS: AJ Styles was supposed to wrestle Williams. Think of the worst wrestler that they could replace him with. Yes, Abyss. And Abyss won the title here, whatever TNA calls their “B” belt. *

RVD vs. MATT HARDY: So RVD told Bischoff that he wants to wrestle Hardy. Well, tough luck, because you didn't say “Jeff.” Matt looked fat and was boring. RVD is still exciting but a little slow in his old age. This was mostly pointless except to introduce a fat, old, used-to-be star. *1/2

JEFF JARRETT vs. KURT ANGLE: This was MMA rules. The first round had Angle sitting in the middle of the ring and JJ afraid to go near him. The second round had some mat wrestling. The third had JJ getting an illegal solution in Angle's eyes and the match ended with Angle a bloody mess. These two had some spectacular matches in the past. This was awful. Fake MMA is not fun to watch. 1/2*

MATT MORGAN vs. MR. ANDERSON: A real bore. *

MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY: Wow. An unannounced match. What is this? WCW? Oh...wait. This was the best match of the night even though it wasn't even that good. Mick Foley showed up and took a chair away from Jeff Hardy. Bischoff got hit with a chair from Mr. Anderson. Jeff Hardy took Anderson's finisher and got right back up like he was fine. Weird. It culminated with Mr. Anderson winning eventually. A good finish to a really awful ppv. **1/2

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS

Sunday, July 26th, 2009 from Philly

CM Punk is the champ. Orton is the champ. It's their night.

This show was in Philly. It featured two women's title matches (ugh). It also featured the biggest match of the night early (which made it fairly obvious that Orton would retain). I guess this show was supposed to be a night of straight forward title matches. No gimmicks, just some good old fashioned wrestling.

And that was probably the problem. Good wrestling rarely occurs. Jeff Hardy and HHH blew the roof off the arena last October at No Mercy. That was awhile ago, though. Has there been a match that came close to being that good since? The only matches that were very good lately have been the Mysterio vs. Jericho matches. Their feud is over, though. And this show had one feud that has been a little exciting: Hardy vs. Punk. CM Punk is now a heel. Hardy is the friendly avenger. They had the main event spotlight. Did they blow the roof off?

CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW vs. TED DIBIASE & CODY RHODES (9:32): WWE's brilliant idea to team up Jericho and Edge as the tag champs didn't even last a month. Edge injured his foot (he had surgery and is out until next year). Jericho's big mystery opponent turned out to be The Big Show. I figured this idea to team up two single's wrestlers as a tag team was over when Edge got hurt...but they're still running with the idea. Dibiase and Rhodes lost pretty easily. Are we still duped into thinking that The Big Show is powerful and ferocious and not lunk-headed and slow? I guess the WWE thinks we forget his endless, boring matches with Cena. Jericho, however, is fast and fun and a great wrestler. It's too bad that they're wasting him. **

CHRISTIAN vs. TOMMY DREAMER (8:28): Oooh, let's punish the Philly fans! Dreamer lost the ECW Title here. Why? Because the WWE loves to punish the hometown crowd (every time they're in Oklahoma, JR gets beat up). This match was obviously a snoozer. Dreamer without chairs, trashcans, canes, or barbed wire is just a fat, pizza maker. That's harsh but true. *

+KOFI KINGSTON vs. MVP vs. CARLITO vs. PRIMO vs. THE MIZ vs. JACK SWAGGER (8:35): Kofi came into this match the champ and left the champ (it was the coveted U.S. Title from WCW). In between, the rest of the crew put on a fast-paced, fun match. Swagger was typically boring, but Carlito and Kofi and Primo were exciting. Actually this was a good match. **1/2

MICHELLE McCOOL vs. MELINA (6:12): This was the first women's match on the show (yes, there were two). And surprisingly it was very good. The reason was because they both beat the shit out of each other. It was sloppy and feral, like two dogs in a cage. Sure, they can't “wrestle.” But it was the best women's bout I've seen in awhile. **1/2

+RANDY ORTON vs. HHH vs. JOHN CENA (22:19): The threw this show on early which meant one thing: the bad guy was going to win. And he did. It was a long match and a half-decent one. It wasn't spectacular...and didn't they just have this match at Wrestlemania? Orton as the champ is getting old. He's evil. We get it. There were a few nifty moves (HHH and Cena put a submission hold on Orton at the same time and he tapped out...but the ref didn't do anything), but it wasn't anything special. Typical, really. **1/2

MICKIE JAMES vs. MARYSE (8:36): What's the chance that there would be two good women's matches on one show? Zero. Maryse is hot (and French Canadian) and Mickie can wrestle, but this match was a snooze. 1/2*

+REY MYSTERIO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (14:20): Who is Dolph Ziggler? You don't want to know. The WWE thinks a lot of him because they had Dolph push Mysterio to the limit. I'm not sure why. I'm also not sure why Mysterio has the IC title when a few years ago he had the World title. Mysterio did all of his patented moves. Dolph is hard to nail down. He's steroid big. He doesn't do much high-flying. He's utterly forgettable. **

JEFF HARDY vs. CM PUNK (14:56): I feel bad for CM Punk. He was wrestling on the Indy circuit for years (he was in ROH and wrestled once or twice for CZW). He was in TNA and eventually got his big WWE break. The WWE surprised everyone by giving him the title last summer. Sadly, he lost that title in a match he wasn't in. This year's reign was even worse. He won the title at the beginning of June and lost it here. He did get one ppv victory at The Bash, but that was by DQ. Why even give him the title if they're going to make his run so short? Perhaps they don't think he's a good wrestler. He hasn't been in a classic in the WWE yet. For some reason his matches with Jeff Hardy don't work. They tried making him a heel but that didn't work, either. This match was so-so. I guess it was obvious that he was going to lose (this was the main event...and Orton, the other bad guy, had already retained). I thought that the WWE would save a big Jeff Hardy victory for Summerslam. I was wrong. **

Night of Champions was an entertaining show but it was too simple. Yes, Jeff Hardy won the Smackdown title. That would have been a worthy event if Jeff hadn't just won the title last month at Extreme Rules. The other “big” story was having The Big Show replace Edge on Jericho's tag team. Is that a big deal? At least we won't have to sit through any Big Show solo matches. Then again, we won't be seeing a Jericho solo match for awhile.

Summerslam is up next. The mega match is CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy in a Tables, Ladders, & Chairs match. Haven't seen one of those in awhile. It's about damn time.

WWE THE BASH

Sunday, June 28^th, 2009 from Sacramento, CA

 

Remember when June's ppv used to be one of the big four? It used to be the King of the Ring and it used to be a big show. Now it's turned into The Bash, a new name for what July's show used to be called (The Great American Bash...which used to be a WCW ppv). This ppv used to be the King of the Ring then Vengeance then Night of Champions and now the Bash. What are they going to call it next year? King of The Bash? King of Vengeance?

So it's a new title. Nothing else is new. Randy Orton is the champ (Batista got hurt and forfeited his title). CM Punk is champ (like he was last summer). The Miz is in a very big match. That's new (but not good). Chris Jericho is in two matches (that's good). It ended up a typical show. No stand-out matches but at least it was an entertaining show.

+TOMMY DREAMER vs. MARK HENRY vs. CHRISTIAN vs. JACK SWAGGER vs. FINLAY (14:46): They did this last September at the Unforgiven ppv. They had a bunch of scramble matches on the show. What a scramble match is: a new wrestler enters the match every five minutes. The last person to make a pin ends up the winner. It's kind-of-sort-of cool because these matches don't happen very often so they're fresh and unique. The only dumb part is when someone else makes a pin during the match and is “the ECW champ” for a few minutes. Tommy Dreamer won. Jack Swagger and Mark Henry were sent to RAW after this ppv. What does that tell you? **

+REY MYSTERIO vs. CHRIS JERICHO (15:42): This has to be the feud of the year, right? The WWE knows it, as this show makes it three in a row with these two fighting each other. I think that the reason it works is because Mysterio is fast and jumping all over the place while Jericho is cunning and methodical. Although, realistically, it can't be explained. It's just one of these things that occur without explanation. These two just work really, really well together. And sadly, this was probably the worst of their trilogy. It was also the match for the biggest prize: Rey's mask (although after he lost it in WCW and everyone saw how lame that turned out, nobody really believes he'll ever lose it again). So Mysterio won and Jericho lost the IC title (Jericho did pull off Rey's mask during the match but Rey was wearing double masks). Good but not stellar. Still, it will go down in the history books as a legendary trilogy. **1/2

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. THE GREAT KHALI (4:59): Yeah...um...yeah...why is the Great Khali still wrestling? And what's up with Dolph Ziggler's name? And who is he again? Khali lost by DQ. And I don't know where this is going. *

+CHRIS JERICHO & EDGE vs. CARLITO & PRIMO vs. TED DIBIASE & CODY RHODES (9:37):

Jeez...was it that obvious that Jericho and Edge would win the tag titles? I mean, why else would they even be in this match if they lost? And even though I have seen Carlito and Primo in some very exciting, fast-paced matches in the past, this match just did not work. Could we possibly blame Dibiase and Rhodes, the two most boring men in the history of wrestling? Check. *1/2

MICHELLE McCOOL vs. MELINA (6:34): Yes, Michelle is very pretty. Yes, they dress like sluts and all have silicone tits. Yes, they can't wrestle. Yes, I'm sexist and realistic and women's wrestling, like women's boxing, just isn't entertaining. So sue me. ½*

JEFF HARDY vs. CM PUNK (14:36): Well Jeff Hardy did in fact win this match. CM Punk came and left as champ, though. The match was not actually that good. As much as I like CM Punk, I haven't seen a truly great match with him yet. I think I only like him because he's new and I like when they give the title to new guys that aren't WWE molded behemoths. Jeff Hardy delivered his Swanton Bomb finisher and pinned Punk...but after the pin the ref waved it off because CM Punk's foot was under the ropes. This was all a storyline to make the fans hate CM Punk...which makes their feud more of a heel vs. face feud than what is used to be. The WWE hates good guys vs. good guys for some reason. CM Punk got himself DQ'd by kicking the ref. Why? Who cares? Just put on a good match next time and forget the storylines. Jeff Hardy doesn't need 'em. **

+JOHN CENA vs. THE MIZ (5:39): The Miz is really Mike, the doofus from MTV's tenth season of The Real World (Back to New York). He didn't make his mark there, he made it on numerous MTV challenges where he got drunk and turned into The Miz, his alter ego. So who knew that someday he would be fighting John Cena on a WWE ppv as...The Miz. I didn't. The problem with The Miz is that the sober Miz and the real wrestling Miz isn't half as entertaining as the drunk, fun one. He's a heel, sure, but he's not a fun heel, he's just a mean one. It doesn't help that his wrestling arsenal is bare bones and he's not very exciting. Add Cena to that mix and you get this one-sided dud. *

+RANDY ORTON vs. HHH THREE STAGES OF HELL MATCH (21:23): This match was a best out of three match. The first was a standard wrestling match (HHH got DQ'd when he used a chair). The second match was a no DQ (Orton won). The third was a stretcher match that Orton won when his cronies, Dibiase and Rhodes, prevented HHH from pushing Orton on the stretcher past the line. This was a long match and if it wasn't for the various weapons and stipulations it would have been a bore. Randy Orton is again the champ (Batista did win the title at Extreme Rules but had to forfeit it because he got hurt...which led to Orton winning the title at RAW). Eh. **

This was a stale show. It was entertaining but not exciting and there wasn't a stand-out match. Has there even been a stand-out match since last year at No Mercy? Probably not. Putting The Miz against Cena certainly didn't do the WWE any favors (c'mon, idiots, that's a RAW match not a ppv match). Mysterio vs. Jericho was again the match of the night...and it was still the worst match they've had. CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy had such a bizarre ending that didn't work at all. They wanted Punk to be a heel so they had him purposely DQ'ing and getting pinned but still keeping the title. Why make him a heel? He's a boring heel.

Next up is Night of Champions. It was held in Philly. Orton vs. Cena vs. HHH is the main event. And once again Jeff Hardy takes on CM Punk. Not a bad lineup. We'll see how it goes down.