WWE THE BASH

Sunday, June 28^th, 2009 from Sacramento, CA

 

Remember when June's ppv used to be one of the big four? It used to be the King of the Ring and it used to be a big show. Now it's turned into The Bash, a new name for what July's show used to be called (The Great American Bash...which used to be a WCW ppv). This ppv used to be the King of the Ring then Vengeance then Night of Champions and now the Bash. What are they going to call it next year? King of The Bash? King of Vengeance?

So it's a new title. Nothing else is new. Randy Orton is the champ (Batista got hurt and forfeited his title). CM Punk is champ (like he was last summer). The Miz is in a very big match. That's new (but not good). Chris Jericho is in two matches (that's good). It ended up a typical show. No stand-out matches but at least it was an entertaining show.

+TOMMY DREAMER vs. MARK HENRY vs. CHRISTIAN vs. JACK SWAGGER vs. FINLAY (14:46): They did this last September at the Unforgiven ppv. They had a bunch of scramble matches on the show. What a scramble match is: a new wrestler enters the match every five minutes. The last person to make a pin ends up the winner. It's kind-of-sort-of cool because these matches don't happen very often so they're fresh and unique. The only dumb part is when someone else makes a pin during the match and is “the ECW champ” for a few minutes. Tommy Dreamer won. Jack Swagger and Mark Henry were sent to RAW after this ppv. What does that tell you? **

+REY MYSTERIO vs. CHRIS JERICHO (15:42): This has to be the feud of the year, right? The WWE knows it, as this show makes it three in a row with these two fighting each other. I think that the reason it works is because Mysterio is fast and jumping all over the place while Jericho is cunning and methodical. Although, realistically, it can't be explained. It's just one of these things that occur without explanation. These two just work really, really well together. And sadly, this was probably the worst of their trilogy. It was also the match for the biggest prize: Rey's mask (although after he lost it in WCW and everyone saw how lame that turned out, nobody really believes he'll ever lose it again). So Mysterio won and Jericho lost the IC title (Jericho did pull off Rey's mask during the match but Rey was wearing double masks). Good but not stellar. Still, it will go down in the history books as a legendary trilogy. **1/2

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. THE GREAT KHALI (4:59): Yeah...um...yeah...why is the Great Khali still wrestling? And what's up with Dolph Ziggler's name? And who is he again? Khali lost by DQ. And I don't know where this is going. *

+CHRIS JERICHO & EDGE vs. CARLITO & PRIMO vs. TED DIBIASE & CODY RHODES (9:37):

Jeez...was it that obvious that Jericho and Edge would win the tag titles? I mean, why else would they even be in this match if they lost? And even though I have seen Carlito and Primo in some very exciting, fast-paced matches in the past, this match just did not work. Could we possibly blame Dibiase and Rhodes, the two most boring men in the history of wrestling? Check. *1/2

MICHELLE McCOOL vs. MELINA (6:34): Yes, Michelle is very pretty. Yes, they dress like sluts and all have silicone tits. Yes, they can't wrestle. Yes, I'm sexist and realistic and women's wrestling, like women's boxing, just isn't entertaining. So sue me. ½*

JEFF HARDY vs. CM PUNK (14:36): Well Jeff Hardy did in fact win this match. CM Punk came and left as champ, though. The match was not actually that good. As much as I like CM Punk, I haven't seen a truly great match with him yet. I think I only like him because he's new and I like when they give the title to new guys that aren't WWE molded behemoths. Jeff Hardy delivered his Swanton Bomb finisher and pinned Punk...but after the pin the ref waved it off because CM Punk's foot was under the ropes. This was all a storyline to make the fans hate CM Punk...which makes their feud more of a heel vs. face feud than what is used to be. The WWE hates good guys vs. good guys for some reason. CM Punk got himself DQ'd by kicking the ref. Why? Who cares? Just put on a good match next time and forget the storylines. Jeff Hardy doesn't need 'em. **

+JOHN CENA vs. THE MIZ (5:39): The Miz is really Mike, the doofus from MTV's tenth season of The Real World (Back to New York). He didn't make his mark there, he made it on numerous MTV challenges where he got drunk and turned into The Miz, his alter ego. So who knew that someday he would be fighting John Cena on a WWE ppv as...The Miz. I didn't. The problem with The Miz is that the sober Miz and the real wrestling Miz isn't half as entertaining as the drunk, fun one. He's a heel, sure, but he's not a fun heel, he's just a mean one. It doesn't help that his wrestling arsenal is bare bones and he's not very exciting. Add Cena to that mix and you get this one-sided dud. *

+RANDY ORTON vs. HHH THREE STAGES OF HELL MATCH (21:23): This match was a best out of three match. The first was a standard wrestling match (HHH got DQ'd when he used a chair). The second match was a no DQ (Orton won). The third was a stretcher match that Orton won when his cronies, Dibiase and Rhodes, prevented HHH from pushing Orton on the stretcher past the line. This was a long match and if it wasn't for the various weapons and stipulations it would have been a bore. Randy Orton is again the champ (Batista did win the title at Extreme Rules but had to forfeit it because he got hurt...which led to Orton winning the title at RAW). Eh. **

This was a stale show. It was entertaining but not exciting and there wasn't a stand-out match. Has there even been a stand-out match since last year at No Mercy? Probably not. Putting The Miz against Cena certainly didn't do the WWE any favors (c'mon, idiots, that's a RAW match not a ppv match). Mysterio vs. Jericho was again the match of the night...and it was still the worst match they've had. CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy had such a bizarre ending that didn't work at all. They wanted Punk to be a heel so they had him purposely DQ'ing and getting pinned but still keeping the title. Why make him a heel? He's a boring heel.

Next up is Night of Champions. It was held in Philly. Orton vs. Cena vs. HHH is the main event. And once again Jeff Hardy takes on CM Punk. Not a bad lineup. We'll see how it goes down.