WWE EXTREME RULES

Sunday, June 7^th, 2009 from New Orleans

 

They should change the name of this ppv to “The Night of Title Changes.” It got a little ridiculous, actually.

This is the show where every match has a stipulation. It used to be ECW One Night Stand, but after two years they got rid of that (although Tommy Dreamer winning the ECW title on this show made me nostalgic). This show had a cage match and a ladder match. It also had a few matches with lame stipulations. The submission match. The strap match. The hog pen match. Wait...the what? Yes, a match that could rival the infamous Champagne Bottle on a Pole match was on this show.

This is one of my favorite ppv's because of the gimmick matches (hell, who wouldn't rather watch a no-rope, barbed wire match compared to a boring, regular one?). There were a lot of bad and pointless matches on the show, but there were enough good ones to make it one of the year's more interesting shows. So yes, John Cena and The Big Show put the world to sleep...but Jericho and Mysterio tore the roof off the place and CM Punk won the title. Yep, it was a strange night full of hogs and Singapore canes. Gimmicks. I love them.

KOFI KINGSTON vs. MVP vs. MATT HARDY vs. WILLIAM REGAL (6:43): A lot of the matches on this show were short. That's a good thing. It's rare for a wrestler to be good enough to be able to make a long match dramatic and engrossing. Kofi was jumping all over the place and the pace was fast. Matt Hardy wrestled with a cast on his hand and William Regal was his usual old, bumbling self but it was a short, sweet match. ***

+CHRIS JERICHO vs. REY MYSTERIO (14:46): This was the match of the night. For some reason these two just mesh perfectly together. I picked Jericho to win the Intercontinental Title here. He lost last month to Mysterio. I figured he'd win this time around. The finish had Mysterio in the Walls of Jericho. Mysterio wormed his way out and pushed Jericho onto the ropes where he was draped over the second rope. Mysterio went for the 619 maneuver. In mid-kick, Jericho pulled off Mysterio's mask. Jericho then quickly pinned him and won. Rey obviously covered his face up (even though we all remember when he wrestled without a mask for years in WCW). It was a tricky finish but they pulled it off. Great, dramatic, exciting match. ***

+CM PUNK vs. UMAGA (9:02): This was a Somoan Strap match. First off, I've never seen a good strap match ever. Second, this stipulation seemed forced simply because every match had to have one. Since the wrestler's hands are strapped together they can't really do any good moves. To win you have to touch each corner. I remember Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan had a strap match once and Hogan just pinned Flair instead of touching the corners. The announcers and audience were dumbfounded. Well CM Punk at least remembered the rules. He won. This was a very dull match. 1/2*

+TOMMY DREAMER vs. CHRISTIAN vs. JACK SWAGGER (9:41): This match was for the coveted ECW Championship. Dreamer's contract was up and it would be his last match. Duh. Of course he won. This wasn't a very good match, although Christian was jumping all over the place and it was cool to see Dreamer win the title and celebrate in the crowd. Trashcans and Singapore canes were used. This is what ECW has become: a pale imitation of itself. **

+SANTINA vs. VICKIE GUERRERO & CHAVO GUERRERO (2:45): Remember Vince Russo's awful stipulation matches he orchestrated in WCW? This seems like one of those. Utterly pointless and the type of match that good wrestling can't possibly occur in. This was a Hog Pen match. There was a mud filled pen at ringside with pigs. The three of them threw mud at one another and tossed slop buckets at each other. Realistically, it should have been funny. It was just gross. 1/2*

BATISTA vs. RANDY ORTON (7:07): This was a cage match. Batista won the title here. That shocked me, actually. It was also short. And it actually wasn't that bad. The match started with Orton trying to climb the cage. They realized these two weren't going to exactly blow the roof off the place with their wrestling, so it was most cage type wrestling. They threw each other into the cage. Orton tried to climb the cage and Batista pulled him down. Batista won the title after delivering his power bomb finisher. So the Age of Orton is over? Good. **

+JOHN CENA vs. THE BIG SHOW (19:04): I said that their match last month was one of the worst I've ever seen. This was just as bad (and almost twenty minutes long! Jesus). It was a submission match. The Big Show beat up Cena for a good fifteen minutes. Cena was hurt and laid there. The Big Show walked around at the fast speed of two miles an hour. For fifteen minutes! This was unGodly brutal...to watch. Did they learn nothing from last month? These two know how to do one thing: put the crowd to sleep. Cena did some moves at the end and then won by hooking The Big Show's leg in the ropes and putting on his FU submission hold. But...if the opponent's foot is on the ropes doesn't that mean you have to break the hold? It made no sense! Truly the worst feud in the history of the business. -No Stars-

+JEFF HARDY vs. EDGE LADDER MATCH (20:18)/ +CM PUNK vs. JEFF HARDY (1:03): This should have been the greatest match in the history of the WWE. It wasn't. They couldn't live up to the hype of course, but it was also fairly typical and not as fast paced and shocking as it should have been. It was still good, definitely, just not as legendary as some of their previous ladder matches (perhaps it was the lack of tables). There were more sick moves than exciting ones. Jeff Hardy sat a ladder upside down in the ring and tossed Edge chest first onto the middle thing that holds up the ladder. That looked like it was going to cut him in half. The other gruesome bump had both guys fall off a ladder at ringside and crash onto a ladder that was rested from the ring to the audience railing. That move looked like it really hurt Jeff. And there were the typical ladder match antics: Jeff hanging from the title high above the ring. Both falling off the top and landing on the ropes. A mid-air Twist of Fate. Jeff Hardy won after pulling Edge through the rungs of the ladder, causing him to be stuck. After Jeff won the title, though, CM Punk came out, cashed his Money in the Bank contract and went on to pin Jeff. Hardy did kick out of Punk's first G.T.S., but his second was too much. I like that CM Punk has the title, but Jeff hasn't held the title for a long reign yet. Also...a ladder match is exciting. Shouldn't you have someone cash in the MITB contract after a boring match? This was a good finish to the night but it was not significant. ***

Besides the Hog Pen match and the Big Show/Cena match, this was a good show. The ladder match was typical and sick but not one of the best. Mysterio and Jericho blew the roof off with a great match and the opener was fast paced and exciting. This show was missing HHH but I actually didn't miss him. This show brings forth all new champions. Dreamer, CM Punk, Jericho, and Batista are all new champs. This should make the slew of TV shows interesting (they now have four shows weekly, as WGN on Thursday has a new hour show called Superstars). Extreme Rules was a success because they did have some good gimmicks. It's always nice to see a cage and a ladder match. The others were mostly pointless but at least the stipulations add something special to the show. It's been one of the better shows these past few years. The Bash is up next (it used to be the Great American Bash and it used to be in July). I'm guessing that we'll see a Batista vs. HHH vs. Orton three way and perhaps an Edge vs. CM Punk vs. Hardy three way. Let's hope that this time CM Punk doesn't lose the title in a match he isn't in (yes, we remember last year's Unforgiven). Don't fuck it up. Right?