WWE's JUDGMENT DAY

Sunday, May 17th, 2009 from Rosemont, Illinois

Last year I said that the biggest disappointment of the year in wrestling was the WWE giving up on the undercard. They always promote the hell out of the main event matches (now they have two title matches on every show). The undercard guys are stuck with no storylines and in matches that are utterly pointless. Well this show, at least wrestling wise, proved that theory wrong. The first half of this show was good. The second half was mostly awful. The reasons are obvious. CM Punk, Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Jericho, and John Morrison are all terrific, exciting, entertaining wrestlers. The Big Show, John Cena, Randy Orton and Edge (lately) are not.

This turned out to be a half good and half bad show. But it at least proves that the WWE has a healthy roster of stars ready to emerge. Let's hope that this summer they finally break through.

UMAGA vs. CM PUNK (11:54): CM Punk won the Money in the Bank Ladder match at Wrestlemania. He was swiftly given to losing matches. Thanks. Umaga is back. I guess they wanted to give him a new, healthy push. This was a brutal and entertaining match. It wasn't shockingly good or anything, but it worked. The finale had Umaga giving CM Punk the thumb to the neck finisher and tossing him down to the mat like a rag doll. CM Punk: remember when you were the champion? Yeah, I'm kind of forgetting that myself. **1/2

CHRISTIAN vs. JACK SWAGGER (9:35): Christian is a star. The crowd loves him. It seems to be only a matter of time before the WWE relents and takes him off the ECW show. Christian lept off the top rope and down onto Swagger at ringside. Christian was all over the place. He's really trying unlike <ahem> Cena, The Big Show, Orton. I could go on and on. Swagger, meanwhile, kept to his ground game, submission pummeling. Sadly, Swagger's “style” isn't going to get him over in the WWE. He's a snooze to watch. This was a half-decent match, though. Christian wins by pulling Swagger's tights to help pin him. **

+JOHN MORRISON vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN (10:10): Morrison is a great wrestler. He's crazy, too. A lot of his insane moves miss their mark, though, which means he probably won't be in the main event of Summerslam anytime soon. Benjamin is also a high flier and this match should have been utterly awesome. It wasn't, but it was good. Morrison did a wild top-rope flip onto Benjamin for the win. It was sloppy in spots (Morrison almost missed an over the top rope somersault) but it was something fresh. **1/2

THE MIZ SEGMENT: Real World's The Miz came out and mocked John Cena. Then he mocked Alfonso Soriano of the Cubs. Then he beat up Santino. Then Chavo Guerrero came out and frog-splashed Chavo. The Miz is a hardcore heel but it comes off as trying too hard. Santino is hilarious. Why won't they give him a bigger push already? This was amusing stuff. And actually a lot more fun than a match between any of them would have been. **1/2

+REY MYSTERIO vs. CHRIS JERICHO (12:38): This was a stellar match. The main event in my opinion, as the rest of the show sucked. Rey was all over the place. Jericho put Rey in the Walls of Jericho a few times. It was back and forth and a tough, exciting match. This was for no title. There was no storyline going on. What is wrong with the WWE? ***

BATISTA vs. RANDY ORTON (14:43): This match was awful, awful stuff. HHH is on the sidelines. They needed an Orton opponent. Batista is a beast but also a walking tree-trunk of a wrestler. What this means is it was a physical match but a slow, plodding one. The finish was horrendously silly. Orton wanted to get a DQ and keep the title so he slapped the referee. Match over. Terrible. ½*

+JOHN CENA vs. THE BIG SHOW (14:59): Did you think that the last match was terrible? This was a lot worse. This might have been the worst match I have ever seen. Yes, it was that bad. Last month at Backlash, The Big Show threw Cena through an entranceway spotlight. Cena was hurt for this match because of that. What this means is...for twelve minutes The Big Show beat up Cena. It was so fucking boring. The crowd was ready to riot (they would have if they weren't asleep). After twelve or so ultra-slow minutes, Cena miraculously started to do things and then won. Huh? I can't wait for their submission match next month. -No Stars-

+EDGE vs. JEFF HARDY (19:55): This was the main event. Jeff Hardy lost after getting hit by Matt Hardy. Matt broke his arm last month at Backlash and he's wearing a cast. Jeff was dazed after his brother knocked him over. This led to Edge doing a really sick DDT from the top rope on Jeff. This match was mediocre, actually. It was also a little boring. Jeff Hardy did his usual high flying shit, but Edge was monotonous. The finish was lame. Do we really need to see a third Hardy vs. Hardy match? Not the epic main event we wanted. **

This show started off very good. Not just the wrestling but also the writing. The writers assembled a good lineup with a lot of possibilities. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison is a fucking dream match (granted, it only turned out to be a little better than average). Mysterio vs. Jericho is a stellar match on paper (it turned out to be a good one). Even Jeff Hardy vs. Edge and Batista vs. Orton are two of the best title matches out there with the WWE's current champs (really...who else could Edge or Orton face and get the crowd and fans into it?). The problem with the show was that the second half was boring. I will say that at least a title didn't change hands. I'm sick of it.

So it was hit or miss for Judgment Day, a show that I never remember being floored by (last year's featured an awfully slow main event cage match between Orton and HHH). Next up is ECW One Night Stand...which is now called WWE Extreme Rules. There is only one good match on the show, but it could turn out to be the match of the year. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge or the title in a Ladder match. I can't wait.