TNA GENESIS

Sunday, January 9th, 2010, from Orlando, Florida

JAY LETHAL vs. FRANKIE KAZARIAN: The X-Division title changed hands yet again. I kind of thought the Jersey Shore dude had the title. Kazarian is a member of the N.W.O....I mean “Immortal,” the group led by Bischoff and Flair and pretty much everyone in TNA. This was, more or less, a basic match. It was typical, really, and not all that exciting. *1/2 (out of ****)

MADISON RAYNE vs. MICKIE JAMES: For some strange reason the crowd was really into this match. You know...they could have just went to a strip club that features Jell-O wrestling. I heard that Awesome Kong signed with the WWE. Really? I hope she knows they fucking destroy all women wrestlers that sign with them. Look at Gail Kim. Or, actually, don't. I'm not even sure if she's still with them. This was better than most WWE women's matches...but I paid little attention to it. I remember them jumping on each other and fake punching. *

THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. BEER MONEY: A total let down. Why is this surprising? The Machine Guns are the best, most exciting tag team in wrestling. Beer Money is the exact opposite. It had less spots and was more a traditional match. Eh. **

BROTHER RAY vs. D-VON: I hope we don't see a rematch. 1/2*

DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. ABYSS: AJ Styles was supposed to wrestle Williams. Think of the worst wrestler that they could replace him with. Yes, Abyss. And Abyss won the title here, whatever TNA calls their “B” belt. *

RVD vs. MATT HARDY: So RVD told Bischoff that he wants to wrestle Hardy. Well, tough luck, because you didn't say “Jeff.” Matt looked fat and was boring. RVD is still exciting but a little slow in his old age. This was mostly pointless except to introduce a fat, old, used-to-be star. *1/2

JEFF JARRETT vs. KURT ANGLE: This was MMA rules. The first round had Angle sitting in the middle of the ring and JJ afraid to go near him. The second round had some mat wrestling. The third had JJ getting an illegal solution in Angle's eyes and the match ended with Angle a bloody mess. These two had some spectacular matches in the past. This was awful. Fake MMA is not fun to watch. 1/2*

MATT MORGAN vs. MR. ANDERSON: A real bore. *

MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY: Wow. An unannounced match. What is this? WCW? Oh...wait. This was the best match of the night even though it wasn't even that good. Mick Foley showed up and took a chair away from Jeff Hardy. Bischoff got hit with a chair from Mr. Anderson. Jeff Hardy took Anderson's finisher and got right back up like he was fine. Weird. It culminated with Mr. Anderson winning eventually. A good finish to a really awful ppv. **1/2