WWE TLC

Sunday, December 12th, 2013
Houston

 FANDANGO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: In a perfect world, Ziggler is facing Bryan for the title tonight. Imagine that! This was a pre-show match. Mediocre but Ziggler wrestles and comes out like he chugged a Red Bull. **

CM PUNK vs. THE SHIELD: Good opener, albeit unrealistic that one (scrawny) man would defeat three men. **1/2

AJ LEE vs. NATALYA: I do like AJ's "character. Not her wrestling, however. *

BIG E LANGSTON vs. DAMIAN SANDOW: A little sad that the Smackdown title is gone. This means that Sandow will never be champ ever. Langston is just dull, a slow bore. This match? Eh. *1/2

THE RHODES BROTHERS vs. THE REAL AMERICANS vs. REY MYSTERIO & BIG SHOW vs. RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL: Good stuff. An elimination melee. Went 21 minutes. The tag title division is back! I guess that's good. **1/2

BRODUS CLAY vs. R. TRUTH: I didn't watch the next three matches.

THE MIZ vs. KOFI KINGSTON: The Miz is in a WWE holiday movie out on DVD. It's probably funnier than Anchorman 2.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. THE WYATT FAMILY: Sigh.

RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN CENA "TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS": Well they broke the Spanish announce table, botched the finish, used chairs. Orton handcuffed Cena to the ropes but Cena undid them and still lost. Whatever. Bryan should beat Orton for the title...when? **

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

Sunday, November 24th, 2013
Long Island, NY

What happened to Survivor Series?
Not that it was ever that great to begin with...but it is one of the big four...definitely the worst of the four...but it's supposed to be a big deal, right? This show may have been the worst ppv of the year. It wasn't that there were no good matches, it's just that the two matches that were good felt like Smackdown main events.
I will say this: the main event of next month's TLC, a TLC match with Orton vs. Cena for both titles, is a lot more intriguing than the last few ppv main events.
My hope? Orton unifies the belts, keeps the title 'till 'Mania and loses it to Daniel Bryan. A boy can dream, no?

CODY RHODES, GOLDDUST, REY MYSTERIO & THE USO'S vs. THE REAL AMERICANS & THE SHIELD: The match of the night! Roman Reigns won after eliminating four of his foes. It was fast-paced, felt like a TV main event. A good start to a dull show. **1/2 (out of ****)

BIG E LANGSTON vs. CURTIS AXEL: Ugh. Didn't watch.

DIVA ELIMINATION MATCH: 7 on 7. What a trainwreck! Didn't watch. I assume it was a trainwreck. I do like AJ, though, just not in the ring.

MARK HENRY vs. RYBACK: More ugh. Didn't watch.

JOHN CENA vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: Cena won in a match nobody cared about. There were a ton of near-falls but that didn't even compel me. *

CM PUNK & DANIEL BRYAN vs. LUKE HARPER & ERIK ROWAN: Good match but nothing special. The main dude of the Wyatt family didn't even wrestle...his two brothers did. I feel bad that the two best wrestlers in the WWE are in a feud like this. **

THE BIG SHOW vs. RANDY ORTON: Awful. I figured that, since the WWE knew this would suck, they'd throw in some tables, chairs, ring-steps, anything really, to make it watchable. I believe a chair was used...but Orton won after HHH and Stephanie showed up on the stage and "distracted" The Big Show. Orton punted The Big Show in the head and won. Cena came out after and raised his title in the ring and got in Orton's face...for no real good reason. -No Stars-

WWE HELL IN A CELL

Sunday, October 27th, 2013
Orlando

I miss Halloween Havoc. But, alas, most of 'em probably sucked. Like how that "great" party you went to when you were 16 was epic and the girl you kissed was hot...but memory is a funny thing and go back in a time machine and the party was basic and the girl was just okay. All Hell in a Cell matches are fused and promoted by past memories, faded glories, and they'll never be the same, as great, as epic. So why even have them anymore?

GOLDDUST & CODY RHODES vs. THE USSO'S vs. SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS: They did a cool maneuver where Rhodes suplexed Rollins off the top rope and onto all of the guys on the floor. Sick. Not a bad opener. ** (out of ****)

FANDANGO & SUMMER RAE vs. KHALI & NATALYA: Really?

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BIG E LANGSTON: What a feud! I skipped this and the previous match.

CM PUNK vs. RYBACK & PAUL HEYMAN "HELL IN A CELL": Punk won after elbow dropping Ryback and a table from the top rope. Heyman got up on top of the cell thanks to a crane lift...so Punk then climbed up, hit him with a cane then delivered the GTS. Why was Heyman up there? At least Punk goes to the top. *1/2

LOS MATADORES vs. SWAGGER & CESARO: Didn't watch.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. JOHN CENA: Well Cena gets injured, returns here and wins the title. Cena and Del Rio bore me. 1/2*

AJ LEE vs. BRIE BELLA: Didn't watch.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. RANDY ORTON "HELL IN A CELL": Shawn Michaels was the ref...so of course he super kicks Bryan and Orton wins. I give up. *

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY

Sunday, October 20th, 2013
From San Diego




KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. HERNANDEZ & CHAVO GUERRERO/ CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN vs. ERIC YOUNG & JOSEPH PARK/ JESSE GODDERZ & ROBBIE E vs. ERIC YOUNG & JOSEPH PARK: So this was a gauntlet match on the pre-show. It was mediocre. The problem was that Daniels and Kazarian, two of TNA's best, were relegated to the pre-show (they did show up during the ppv only to be destroyed by Abyss). ** (out of ****)

MANIK vs. SOMOA JOE vs. JEFF HARDY vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. AUSTIN ARIES "ULTIMATE X": Super disappointing. They used a ladder but no big spots for anyone. Sabin pushed his girl, Velvet Sky, into the ring to distract Hardy while Sabin snagged the title. Really a waste since Aries, Joe, and Hardy didn't have singles matches on the company's biggest show. *1/2

JAMES STORM & GUNNER vs. JESSE GODDERZ & ROBBIE E: The Jersey Shore guys won the tag titles here even though the Jersey Shore TV show hasn't been on for a few years. Does TNA realize this? I guess they'll be putting together a Breaking Bad style tag team in a few years. I'll be honest; I didn't watch this.

ODB vs. GAIL KIM vs. BROOKE: Kind of sad that this might have been the match of the night. And it wasn't that good. Some thick black chick named L'ed Tapa showed up at the end and power-bombed Brooke and kicked ODB and this led to Kim winning. **1/2

BOBBY ROODE vs.
KURT ANGLE: Before this, Angle told the crowd he was turning down his Hall of Fame initiation because he didn't deserve it...yet. Then this slow, semi-okay match happened. We got an Angle moonsault. And typical boring Roode. *1/2

EC3 vs. NORV FERNUM: EC3 is some new fish that, story-line wise, is Dixie Carter's nephew. So he beat up his hand-picked, 100 pound weakling nobody. Yeah. -No Stars-

MAGNUS vs. STING: I admit: the first and last match on this card were good on paper. This match? Not. Who came up with this? Bound For Glory is supposed to be TNA's Wrestlemania. Jesus. Magnus won. I didn't watch.

AJ STYLES vs. BULLY RAY: So this was just okay...but we did get a really sick springboard 450 that AJ did off the top rope and through a ringside table. Bully moved and AJ landed hard and I thought he was either a) dead or b) paralyzed. He continued. Knucks showed up and Garrett Bischoff brought a hammer, Dixie threatened Hebner not to let AJ win (apparently there's a Dixie/AJ storyline that is so preposterous I haven't bothered to pay attention to it), and Bully exposed the wooden ring mat floor. AJ won. He went into the crowd and they put him on their shoulders. Cool ending. But TNA is dismal these days. **1/2

WWE BATTLEGROUND

Sunday, October 7th, 2013
Pittsburgh, PA

 
DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. DAMIAN SANDOW: This was on the pre-show.
And to think...Ziggler was the champ in the Spring. I guess it doesn't say much
either about Sandow, the MITB winner. Ziggler was high energy in a pointless
match. *1/2 (out of ****) 

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. RVD: Good opener. This was a "hardcore" match...but
it probably should've just been a ladder match as that's pretty much the only weapon
they used. RVD did a frog splash off of the apron onto a ladder draped on Del Rio.
RVD also did a split-legged moon sault off the ropes onto a ladder on Del Rio. RVD
is so old, right? But compared to broken guys like Sabu he's still very exciting. Nice
to see a watchable Del Rio match. It's been like forever. ***

                                                                                                                                                       





THE GREAT KHALI & SANTINO MARELLA vs. ANTONIO CESARO & JACK SWAGGER:
This was announced the day of because after writing the show they came up short on time. I suppose not everyone can be awesome and a star...every show needs it's B-side, filler stuff. Not that I watched this.

CURTIS AXEL vs. R-TRUTH: I didn't watch this.

AJ LEE vs. BRIE BELLA: Nor this.

SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS vs. GOLDDUST & CODY RHODES: This has to be the first "big" match that Cody has ever been in, right? And the crowd loves him now...for no real reason.
If the Rhodes' won then they got their jobs back. They won. Good match, but, realistically, this should've been a RAW main event. **1/2

BRAY WYATT vs. KOFI KINGSTON: I like the Wyatt's entrance...but that's it. Perhaps they should enter, walk right past the ring and leave. I mean, nobody wants to see them wrestle anyway. I didn't watch this match. We're seeing a trend.

CM PUNK vs. RYBACK: Not good. Very boring. Punk won after low-blowing Ryback. I'm sick of this Heyman/Punk feud. *

DANIEL BRYAN vs. RANDY ORTON: So Bryan wins the title at Summerslam...then Orton cashes in his MITB contract and HHH turns heel and Bryan loses. Last month at NOC, Bryan wins the title but is stripped the next night on RAW when HHH says the ref counted too fast to 3. So in this match, NOBODY WINS. Nobody loses, either. Bryan has Orton in the Yes Lock when The Big Show comes down, knocks out the ref. The Big Show then KO's Bryan and Orton and the ppv goes off the air.
WTF? Yes, a $55 ppv with NO ENDING. Who's the genius that came up with that? This was, perhaps, the worst ending to a ppv ever. And the match up until the horrendous ending wasn't even that good. *1/2

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS

Sunday, September 15th, 2013
From Detroit


CURTIS AXEL vs. KOFI KINGSTON: An un-announced IC title match. HHH announced it at the top of the show. Well...the end had some near falls. Not really ppv calibur stuff. & this ppv sucked. *1/2 (out of ****)

A.J. LEE vs. BRIE BELLA VS. NATALYA VS. NAOMI: Um...yeah. AJ got a tattoo of the date in June she won the women's title. On her neck. What? She's really crazy? She is cute. But I didn't watch this.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. ROB VAN DAM: RVD did a Van Terminator post match after he lost because Del Rio wouldn't release his arm lock so the ref called a DQ. So RVD won but didn't get the title. Not a good match at all. And a terrible finish. This makes Christian look like a God because he's perhaps the only one ever to get a half decent match out of dull Del Rio. *1/2

FANDANGO vs. THE MIZ: Yeah. Not good. At all. Fandango isn't bad but The Miz is just awful. 1/2*


C.M. PUNK vs. CURTIS AXEL & PAUL HEYMAN: Punk beat Axel then beat up Heyman (it was a handicap match) then Ryback came out and speared Punk through a table and Heyman won (it was also no DQ). I remember last year Heyman hired The Shield to take out Ryback multiple times so why would Ryback be a Heyman guy? Kind of lame. **


DEAN AMBROSE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Remember Ziggler had the title in April? Yeah. He's losing to Ambrose for the coveted U.S. title now. What the hell did he do to get in the doghouse? Get a concussion? 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS vs. TITUS O'NEIL & DARREN YOUNG: Didn't watch this. Oh well.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. RANDY ORTON: Not that good. Bryan won with a flying knee and the ref, Scott Armstrong, did a fast count for no reason. Nobody bothered to mention that it was a fast count. Orton didn't even complain. On RAW, the ref was fired and Bryan was stripped of the title. So Bryan is a 3 time champ. His first time losing the title was in 19 seconds or something at Wrestlemania to Sheamus. The second time was in about that time at Summerslam. Now he's stripped a night later. Does the WWE not like their best star? **

 

WWE SUMMERSLAM

Sunday, August 18th, 2013
From Los Angeles


DEAN AMBROSE vs. RVD: This was on the hour long preview show. Typical...although RVD is usually more exciting. The Shield has grown stale my friend. *1/2 (out of ****)

KANE vs. BRAY WYATT "RING OF FIRE MATCH": Unfortunately, the old stipulation from those crazy 90's where you had to set your opponent on fire to win this match was excised. I vaguely recall Kane having is boot on fire in one match and his arm in another. The flames looked cool. Terrible match, though. They couldn't really do anything like climb the ropes. Wyatt's gang put a blanket over the flames, climbed in, then beat up Kane. *

CODY RHODES vs. DAMIAN SANDOW: I admit. I didn't watch this. I can see Sandow being forced to use his MITB contract to face Daniel Bryan for the title at Night of Champions by the McMahons and losing.

CHRISTIAN vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: Christian had one more match against Orton for the title on RAW this week and it was great. Sadly, he doesn't mesh with Del Rio. Not his fault. No one does. *1/2

BRIE BELLA vs. NATALYA: Didn't watch this match.

BROCK LESNAR vs. CM PUNK: Great match. Perhaps the best Lesnar match since his return. That's not saying much because his 3 against HHH weren't very good. The key that HHH didn't realize is that you've gotta go back and forth...nobody wants to see a one sided beat down for the majority. Paul Heyman interfered and a chair and cane were used. A lot of near falls. Possibly the match of the year thus far. If Punk had won it would have been a masterpiece. The problem is...what now? These two won't have a re-match until, what, Wrestlemania? ***1/2

DOLPH ZIGGLER & KAITLYN vs. AJ & BIG E LANGSTON: Didn't watch. Ziggler sure fell off the map. He coulda been somebody. How long was his title reign this year? A day?

JOHN CENA vs. DANIEL BRYAN/ RANDY ORTON vs. DANIEL BRYAN: Good match. Bryan won with a flying knee to the head (kind of anticlimatic). HHH, the ref, gave Bryan a pedigree. Orton cashed his MITB contract in and pinned Bryan, won the title. Welcome to the new Corporation. Been done before, sure, but it worked then. Hell, they even did the special ref turning heel back then (it was Shane O'Mac). Good match though and a good show, albeit a two match show. Sets up a lot. Cena is out 4 to 6 months. Won't miss 'em. ***

WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

Sunday, July 14th, 2013, from Philly

Kind of sad. I know. My favorite WWE show just so happened to be in my town tonight and not only did I not go, I didn't even watch it live on TV. I caught a replay, which was good, since I could fast forward through the matches nobody cared about like The Miz vs. Mr. Perfect's kid and the women's title match. I'll admit as well: when the crowd started chanting, "Boring!" during the Jericho/Ryback match I also skipped until the end of it to see the finish. So it wasn't, obviously, the best card. When tickets first went on sale I did look at them and did think about buying them. Lower level were $125 at the cheapest. Ridiculous. But someone paid for them as the building was filled. Tickets never got cheaper on stubhub and craigslist and the card wasn't that great so I missed it. I haven't seen a WWE show since the infamous Royal Rumble that Benoit won. That was a decent show highlighted by a "Last Man Standing" match between HHH and Shawn Michaels (there was a pedigree through the announce table). Think it was in '05. Eight years since I've been to a WWE show. The last wrestling show I went to was an ROH show two years ago. That was good, not great. I guess I'm due. Wrestlemania in N'Awlins trip next year?


DAMIEN SANDOW vs. CODY RHODES vs. WADE BARRETT vs. DEAN AMBROSE vs. FANDANGO vs. JACK SWAGGER vs. ANTONIO CESARO "LADDER MATCH": A match with all heels. Well they won't do it again. Good match, though. Ambrose did some neat stuff; head in a ladder, swinging it around. He also skinned the cat, pulled himself up on top of a ladder carried by Cesaro and Rhodes who tossed him over the ropes from the top of the ladder (yeah, guess you had to see it). Sandow turned on Rhodes and won it. Sandow as champ? Eh, why not? He's amusing. ***

CURTIS AXEL vs. THE MIZ: Fast-forwarded this.

AJ vs. KAITLYN: Fast-forwarded this.

RYBACK vs. CHRIS JERICHO: Caught the end. Ryback won his first ppv match since last year. Not particularly good, but definitely pointless. 1/2*

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Great match. Yes, a great Del Rio match. Until the end. AJ caused a DQ. Ziggler is fast and furious, all over the map and falling around like a marionette. Del Rio sucks...but the back and forth flury of near-falls was epic. ***

MARK HENRY vs. JOHN CENA: Well Cena won. There were near falls again, good, but Henry is a bore, and Cena is too plain. **

C.M. PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN vs. CHRISTIAN vs. SHEAMUS vs. RANDY ORTON vs. ROB VAN DAM "LADDER MATCH": Jeez. RVD and Sheamus got fucking destroyed. Sheamus fell off the top rope in the corner and through a ladder bridge. RVD did a frog splash from the top of a big dog ladder. Orton won. Paul Heyman turned on Punk. Good match. Wild crowd during this. ***

WWE PAYBACK

Sunday, June 16th, 2013, from Chicago

WADE BARRETT vs. THE MIZ vs. CURTIS AXEL: I didn't realize it, but Axel is Mr. Perfect's kid. Mr. Perfect is dead. Totally forgot that. Axel is Paul Heyman's newest boy. This match was all action for awhile, so that was good. It didn't help that The Miz, Axel, and Barrett, aren't very good. **

KAITLYN vs. AJ: This was AJ's first title win. Really? Really. A typical women's match. I prefer AJ in skits. *1/2

DEAN AMBROSE vs. KANE: Ugh. Why is Kane still around? The 90's called and wants him back. 1/2*

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Okay. So this match was, apparently, the reason the show was titled "Payback." Ziggler beat a hurt Del Rio for the title after cashing in his MITB contract the night after Wrestlemania. Ziggler hasn't wrestled in a month because of a concussion...so Del Rio kicked him in the head and stuff and won. Jeez. Who the fuck likes Del Rio? Well he's a heel again now but still can't wrestle. Ziggler is great. What a horrible title reign. *

CM PUNK vs. CHRIS JERICHO: The Chi-town crowd roared and cheered for Punk. Still...these two don't mesh that well. The end was good with a flurry of activity but Jericho is not as fast or exciting as he once was. **

SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS vs. DANIEL BRYAN & RANDY ORTON: They got the short end of the stick. It didn't get any time, felt pointless (Bryan battling The Shield has been the main event on Smackdown forever). *1/2

JOHN CENA vs. RYBACK "THREE STAGES OF HELL": So there was a lumberjack match that Ryback won. A tables match that Cena won. Then Cena threw Ryback through the top of an ambulance to win the ambulance match and keep the title. Still not sure why the roof of the ambulance was made of, apparently, cardboard. It was semi-entertaining. **

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY

Sunday, June 2nd, 2013 from Boston

This is how great TNA is: I couldn't even remember the name of this show when starting to write this. Alas, this was a good show. The company only has 4 ppv's a year now...and the first two weren't good...so it's nice to see a good show from the Orlando boys.

KENNY KING vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. SUICIDE "ULTIMATE X MATCH": Sadly, I missed this match. From the highlights it looked mediocre. Sabin won and gets a title shot at Destination X which, confusedly, doesn't exist now (I guess they'll do it on Impact).

SAMOA JOE & MAGNUS & JEFF HARDY vs. GARETT BISCHOFF & WES BRISCO & MR. ANDERSON: I kind of wish there were more singles matches. A ton of great wrestlers like Aries and Hardy and Samoa Joe were stuck in these multiple dude matches. This match was good but nothing special. Hardy did a cool Senton Bomb on Brisco that looked like it hurt. **1/2

SAM SHAW vs. JOEY BRADLEY: Two fresh fishes, battling for a contract. I didn't bother to watch.

DEVON vs. ABYSS: Abyss is back! And more plodding than ever. 1/2*

CHAVO GUERRERO JR. & HERNANDEZ vs. AUSTIN ARIES & BOBBY ROODE vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN vs. JAMES STORM & GUNNER: Good action. Aries was on fire. Chavo is doing all these crazy moves he never did before...which is odd. Why the fuck didn't he do this in WCW or WWE? **1/2

TARYN TERRELL vs. GAIL KIM : The match of the night. Yep. But...all the WWE has to do is put their "divas" in a ladder match or something like this to get these type of results. It was brutal. Good. They really beat the shit out of each other. Taryn gave Kim a bulldog off the walkway entrance to the floor. The landing was off camera live but they did show the replay. **1/2
"LAST WOMAN STANDING MATCH"

AJ STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE: It heated up towards the end. Both guys did some wicked back and forth action. The finish was fast and less than climatic but it was good. **1/2

STING vs. BULLY RAY "NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH": Good stuff...surprisingly. Bully Ray cut the ring ropes and exposed the hard, wood mat floor and gave Sting a pile driver on it. Aces & Eights came out. Sting beat them up. Mr. Anderson gave Bully a hammer and he used it to KO Sting. A wild, amusing main event. Now Sting can never wrestle for the TNA title again...ever. Not a bad thing. **1/2

WWE EXTREME RULES

Sunday, May 19th, 2013, from St. Louis

CHRIS JERICHO vs. FANDANGO: I like Fandango. He's amusing. In the ring he's not boring. Jericho won. No stips. It was okay. **

DEAN AMBROSE vs. KOFI KINGSTON: Another no stips match. I do like Ambrose. He's got charisma. *1/2

SHEAMUS vs. MARK HENRY "STRAP MATCH": Interesting. A strap match? What is this...Russo's WCW? I guess it was better than a regular match between these two. **

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. JACK SWAGGER "I QUIT MATCH": Well this was supposed to be a three way ladder match but Ziggler, the champ, got a concussion. So we got this. God is Del Rio an awful good guy. *

SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS vs. KANE & DANIEL BRYAN: I love Bryan but even I'm sick of his tag team. The Shield won the tag titles and earlier Ambrose won the U.S. title. **

RANDY ORTON vs. THE BIG SHOW "EXTREME RULES MATCH": They used a cane and a chair. Eh. *1/2

JOHN CENA vs. RYBACK "LAST MAN STANDING MATCH": A no contest! What the hell? Ryback slammed Cena through the stage and the set lights sparked and it was kind of cool but neither guy got up. **1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. HHH "STEEL CAGE MATCH": Please retire, HHH. This was perhaps their best match. That's not saying a lot. Heyman low-blowed HHH and then Lesnar F-5'd him for the win. No blood but they did use a sledgehammer. It was okay. **1/2

WWE WRESTLEMANIA XXIX

Sunday, April 7th, 2013 from Met Life Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ

SHEAMUS, RANDY ORTON & THE BIG SHOW vs. THE SHIELD: Sadly, this was a weak show. The post RAW was actually better. On RAW, Dolph Ziggler won the title and Ryback turned heel (plus the crowd more than made up for the dull Met Life Stadium crowd). I missed this first match...so perhaps it was epic and awesome. I heard it wasn't.

MARK HENRY vs. RYBACK: Wow. Dull. I was wondering why Ryback got a big push only to lose seemingly every match since October...but on RAW they pushed him big time. Ryback did lift Henry onto his shoulders in this match. That was pretty cool. 1/2*

DANIEL BRYAN & KANE vs. BIG E. LANGSTON & DOLPH ZIGGLER: Too short. And by releasing Bryan with Kane's music to enter the stadium it robbed of us an epic crowd roar. Bryan is, really, the most over guy in WWE. Big E. Langston made his in-ring debut. He's mediocre. **

CHRIS JERICHO vs. FANDANGO: This was also Fandango's in-ring debut. He's mediocre. First off, he's amusing. I'm waiting for a crowd to start chanting "fag" at him and it getting awkward. Second, what's the point of giving a new guy a stupid name like Fandango when you know saddled with that stigma of stupidity he'll never be a main eventer. Isn't the point to bring new guys up and groom them to be a star? With a lame name and gimmick like a ballroom dancer he's already ruined. I can see that the WWE wants variety...but, hell, give him a better name than the frigging movie ticket website. He did win in an okay match. **

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. JACK SWAGGER: Not good. Both wrestlers are boring. Del Rio is a lousy good guy. Swagger's anti-immigrant schtick never really hit it off. Eh. *

CM PUNK vs. THE UNDERTAKER: This was a good match, the best of the night, although riddled with the cliches of every 'Taker/'Mania match. Punk did a top rope elbow onto 'Taker and the Spanish announce table but it didn't break and thus the big spot fell flat. Both of them kicked out of a ton of finishers but, c'mon, nobody thought Punk was winning. **1/2

HHH vs. BROCK LESNAR: Lesnar has only been in two matches since returning. Against Cena at last year's Extreme Rules and against HHH at last year's Summerslam. One was great and one sucked...so of course they have a re-match of the bad match. This was a little too plodding and slow. HHH got beat up then miraculously had a few big counters here and there. Lesnar did toss HHH through the Spanish announce table and this time it broke. The finish involved a pedigree on the ring steps inside the ring...which was the same type of finish that the Cena/Lesnar match had. It was average. **

THE ROCK vs. JOHN CENA: Not good. Even the crowd chanted "boring" at one part. Cena won and was cheered even though he was booed after and before and during. This show just didn't have any great matches or moments. The set was pretty, though. *1/2

TNA LOCKDOWN

Sunday, March 10th, 2012
San Antonio, TX

ZEMA ION vs. KENNY KING vs. CHRISTIAN YORK: I missed this somewhere. When did King beat Ion for the title? Where's Jesse Sorenson? These are all pertinent questions. I actually really liked this match. It felt like going to a local, small time wrestling show and seeing a bunch of suicidal teens doing a lot of insane maneuvers and messing up most of them. The moves that weren't messed up and/or sloppy, though, were glorious. This was the best X-Division match I've seen in awhile actually. **1/2 (out of ****)

JOSEPH PARK vs. JOEY RYAN: They really gotta bring back Abyss. I missed most of the next three matches so there will be no review of them.

VELVET SKY vs. GAIL KIM: Seriously...do you care what happened in this one?

ROBBIE E vs. ROBBIE T: Or this? I mean...Robbie E versus his bodyguard? On a ppv! And there's only four of these a year you know. And "Jersey Shore" isn't on TV anymore but Robbie E is still around. TNA really & truly is a comedy of errors. Not that you didn't know that. Why am I even bringing that up? Well the bodyguard won. Nobody cared.

AUSTIN ARIES & BOBBY ROODE vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR. & HERNANDEZ vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN: Not as good as it could've should've been but still probably the most entertaining match on the show. Hernandez got a lot of props from the audience, including his head-first dive over the ropes from the ramp into the ring. Guerrero is doing all these crazy, high-flying moves that he never did in WCW or WWE. I guess he realizes the end is near. **1/2

KURT ANGLE vs. WES BRISCO: This was the first of three cage matches. Normally this show is all cage matches. I have no idea why they changed it (probably because it was stupid). But then why not put the tag team match in a cage? Daniels, after all, is only the second man in history to dive off a hell in a cell size cage. This match featured a nobody from Aces & 8's beating Kurt Angle. Yeah. 1/2*

STING & SAMOA JOE & JAMES STORM & ERIC YOUNG & MAGNUS vs. DEVON & DOC & GARETT BISCHOFF & KNOX & KENNETH ANDERSON: This match was called "Lethal Lockdown." Every single "Lethal Lockdown" match ever culminates with a roof of weapons lowering down. I guess the Alamo Dome was too spacious for this far-out concept of a roof being lowered so what they did was just have the last man enter, Sting, waltz out with two trashcans filled with weapons. So yes, this was a letdown. They did have one unique pyramid suplex maneuver that featured six men toppling over in a corner and Young did a top of the cage elbow drop...but, man, I was so pumped for that roof of weapons being lowered. *1/2

JEFF HARDY vs. BULLY RAY: Remember the N.W.O.? Well the reason it worked was mostly because it actually featured prominent stars of WCW like Hogan and Nash and Hall and eventually pretty much everyone at one point or another. TNA's big evil group is Aces & 8's, a motorcycle group that doesn't really have an agenda. At first it was a bunch of masked men...then Devon was unmasked as the leader. Nobody cared. Then more were unmasked and less cared; D'Lo Brown, Garrett Bischoff, unknowns called Doc, Wes Brisco, and others I forget. I guess even TNA realized that this group blows. It's a bunch of losers. So they had Bully Ray turn heel in this match and win the title. Now Aces & 8's is led by The Dudley Boyz. The match and turn were eh...but Ray on the mic post-match were great. He called Hulk Hogan's daughter and his TV wife a "bitch." And the fans threw bottles and trash into the ring. Good, amusing ending to, seriously, an awful show. **

WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER

Sunday, February 17th, 2012, from New Orleans

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. THE BIG SHOW: I missed the first twenty minutes of the show. Usually on this ppv they have one of the two Elimination Chamber matches on first. Thank God I didn't miss that. When I turned the show on, Del Rio had The Big Show in some submission hold and The Big Show tapped out. I really dislike Del Rio as a good guy. He's not particularly good at it and I wonder why anyone would cheer for him now or ever. He's a dud.

ANTONIO CESARO vs. THE MIZ: I, thankfully, didn't see this match. I think I was on Twitter or something. Either way, honestly, both of these guys are awfully boring.

CHRIS JERICHO vs. RANDY ORTON vs. MARK HENRY vs. DANIEL BRYAN vs. KANE vs. JACK SWAGGER "ELIMINATION CHAMBER": Well this ended up being the only EC match on the show. I figured Henry would win but Swagger, who's anti-immigrant now, won. This sets up the worst title match in the history of Wrestlemania: Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio. That's not even worthy of Wednesday's Main Event show on ION. Jericho and Bryan started the match which was awesome. Orton took a wicked bump through the plexi-glass pod. Nobody climbed a pod. Henry lost then came back and slammed everyone. Good not great. **1/2

JOHN CENA & SHEAMUS & RYBACK vs. THE SHIELD: I thought that this was supposed to be an EC match. It should have been. Sheamus was speared through the crowd wall at ringside and the final minute was a flurry of excitement but, eh, it was just okay. **

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KOFI KINGSTON: An unannounced match. Yee Gods, why? *

KAITLYN vs. TAMINA SNUKA: Yawn. They really should put these women in an EC match. -No Stars-

THE ROCK vs. CM PUNK: This was better than their match at the Rumble yet the announce table didn't break this time (last month it broke before the People's Elbow). There were ref bumps and Punk had it won but no ref. I guess since we all knew who was going to win it came down to how. The Rock did all his moves and won. Good match, nothing special. Kind of a lackluster show. **1/2

CM PUNK'S TITLE REIGN: 11/21/11 - 1/28/13

CM Punk won the title in November of 2011 and kept it until this month. That's a hell of a streak, especially considering the WWE has four weekly TV shows now and monthly ppv's. The one interesting thing is that he was not in the main event for 8 straight ppv's. The best match? Either the Daniel Bryan match at MITB or the Cena one at NOC. The worst? Duh. When he won the title. You probably won't see something like this for awhile if ever, so I thought I'd do a little retrospective.

 * means this match was the main event

(Survivor Series)
CM PUNK vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: This was a super dull match. Punk may be a good talker but he's rarely in great matches. He did win the title. This means that Punk had the title in July, Cena in August, Punk in August, Del Rio in August, Cena in September, Del Rio in October, now Punk in November. Way to make it special. *

(TLC)
*ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. CM PUNK vs. THE MIZ "TLC MATCH": The surprise? Cena wasn't on this show. Another surprise? Del Rio's ring announcer took the biggest bump in this match, falling off a ladder and through a ringside table, backwards. There weren't as many big spots in this match, but it was entertaining. **1/2

(The Royal Rumble)
CM PUNK vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: John Laurenitis decided to let another, regular ref call the match. It was slow until the finish that had Punk beating Dolph four times while the ref was hurt outside the ring and John was tending to him. Both the ref and John L. did the final pin and Punk won. It was mediocre. **

(Elimination Chamber)
 C.M. PUNK VS. CHRIS JERICHO VS. THE MIZ VS. R-TRUTH VS. KOFI KINGSTON VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH: Good opener with a weird, anti-climatic finish. Jericho ended up being kicked in the head by Punk and falling out of the chamber (the door was open because Jericho threw the eliminated Kofi Kingston out). Jericho was knocked out and couldn't continue. So Punk ended up beating The Miz to win. I guess this sets up a Jericho/Punk 'Mania title match. **1/2 (out of ****)

(Wrestlemania XXVIII)
CM PUNK vs. CHRIS JERICHO: I was looking forward to this...but it was slow, awkward, and didn't get exciting and fast until the end. The crowd was also dead for most of it. Punk just has not been in a great match in forever. Maybe he isn't the best wrestler in the world? Jericho tapped out to the Anaconda Vice after a back-and-forth of submission holds. **

(Extreme Rules)
CHRIS JERICHO vs. CM PUNK "CHICAGO STREET FIGHT": A little awkward and slow early but it picked up at the end with a ton of gimmicks. Punk used a fire extinguisher and lept off the top rope and onto Jericho and the Spanish announce table. Punk's sister was ringside and slapped Jericho. Chairs and canes were used. These two just don't mesh well but it had enough craziness to work. & my god the crowd was awesome tonight. ***

(Over the Limit)
C.M. PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN: Good, not great. Really looked like a ROH match. Long, holds, back and forth. A crap WWE finish, though; Punk was in the Yes Lock but rolled over to pin Bryan and then Punk tapped. So kind of a lame ending but a good match. **1/2

(No Way Out)
C.M. PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN vs. KANE: Good, not great. Thank Kane. **1/2

(Money in the Bank)
CM PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN: Good match. They used a chair, a table, and kendo sticks. AJ didn't really sway the match...so what was the point of her being the ref? Punk put Bryan through a table from the top rope to win. ***

(Summerslam)
CM PUNK vs. BIG SHOW vs. JOHN CENA (12:34): Funny...but they did the same thing in this match that TNA did last week. Punk and Cena both put on submission holds on Show and two refs rang the bell but AJ came out to restart it. Punk has been the champ since last November. Wow. This match was dull. First off; Kane and The Big Show suck and have always sucked. I think Shane O'Mac was the only one ever to get a good match out of them. & he quit the company. *1/2

(Night of Champions)
*CM PUNK vs. JOHN CENA: A good, almost great main event. I guess the WWE learned how to produce a classic by re-watching the last few Undertaker Wrestlemania matches; make the guys kick out of every finisher. And Cena also kicked out of a Rock Bottom and the finale had Cena running up to Punk on the top rope to suplex him off like Kurt Angle does. Cena pinned Punk and won...but the ref said that both of their shoulders were down so it was a draw. A long (27 minutes) match with a lame finish. The crowd did chant, "This is awesome!" so I'm assuming they got their money's worth. ***

(Hell in a Cell)
 *CM PUNK vs. RYBACK "HELL IN A CELL":  I wrote this last November: "This means that Punk had the title in July, Cena in August, Punk in August, Del Rio in August, Cena in September, Del Rio in October, now Punk in November. Way to make it special." Are they reading my blog? Punk has had the title for almost a year. Wow. This match was the best of the night but not really that good. I loved the finish, though. Ryback was ready to deliver his finisher when the ref low-blowed him and Punk rolled up Ryback to pin him and end his Goldberg-esque undefeated streak. At least it was something different...and Punk needs to keep the title so he can lose it to The Rock at The Royal Rumble. What I loved was that the guys climbed on top of the cell. When was the last time the frigging cell was actually used? Nice unique ending albeit on RAW they didn't even bring out the evil ref. **1/2

(Survivor Series)
*RYBACK vs. CM PUNK vs. JOHN CENA: The plan for the past few months has been for The Rock to fight CM Punk at the Royal Rumble for the title. This plan would not make sense if CM Punk wasn't the champ. So the WWE does the worst thing ever and introduces an undefeated, new, fan-friendly star into the title hunt. Why? I'm not entirely sure. I guess to sell ppv's, although Cena vs. Punk would have done the job better. They probably didn't want Cena to lose again to Punk at Hell in a Cell...but he lost here, anyway, and Ryback was undefeated but has now lost in the main event at two straight ppv's. Logic? So now it's a matter of: how can WWE keep the title on CM Punk in the strangest ways possible? God forbid he win a match clean. Last month the ref was evil and during this match three NXT stars beat up Ryback and put him through the -guess- Spanish announce table (earlier, Punk & Cena teamed up to put Ryback through the regular announce table). This match had two table breaks but a poor ending (we already saw a NXT invasion). A very weak show. **

(The Royal Rumble)
*THE ROCK vs. CM PUNK: Poor. The Rock is a star, sure, but over acts and just isn't wrestling enough these days to be at his peak. The big spot, a Rock Bottom through the announce table, was botched when the table collapsed before the move. The swerve, the lights went out, The Rock was put through the other announce table by The Shield, CM Punk won, was awful. Vince let Rock re-start the match (also The Rock more or less gave himself this title match...?) and Rock quickly won. Really? I guess this was to shock those (everyone) that thought Punk would never win. But to have Rock win this way the big celebration finish was marred. Bad choice, dull match, mediocre show. *1/2

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE

Sunday, January 27th, 2013
Phoenix, Arizona

THE BIG SHOW vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO "LAST MAN STANDING MATCH": Wow. If you had told me that the best match on any show would be between these two and I would have laughed in your face. But it wasn't a very good show and this one at least had some hijinks by the entrance (Show tossed Del Rio off the set through a table) to make it entertaining. The ending however was atrocious. Del Rio taped Show's ankles to the ring ropes so he couldn't stand for the ten count. **1/2 (out of ****)

DAMIEN SANDOW & CODY RHODES vs. DANIEL BRYAN & KANE: Pretty boring. And, seriously, what are there? Three tag teams in this division? *

THE ROYAL RUMBLE (JOHN CENA): The surprise was Chris Jericho as entry no. 2. The highlight was The Godfather who was quickly eliminated after what seemed like a ten minute entrance. Sin Cara and Mysterio came back. Some young buck from Next eliminated Wade Barrett. The finale had Cena eliminating Ryback to win. Not the best Rumble. **

THE ROCK vs. CM PUNK: Poor. The Rock is a star, sure, but over acts and just isn't wrestling enough these days to be at his peak. The big spot, a Rock Bottom through the announce table, was botched when the table collapsed before the move. The swerve, the lights went out, The Rock was put through the other announce table by The Shield, CM Punk won, was awful. Vince let Rock re-start the match (also The Rock more or less gave himself this title match...?) and Rock quickly won. Really? I guess this was to shock those (everyone) that thought Punk would never win. But to have Rock win this way the big celebration finish was marred. Bad choice, dull match, mediocre show. *1/2

TNA GENESIS

Sunday, January 13th, 2013, from Orlando

What a way to kick off a new year! Sadly, that's just me being sarcastic. This ppv was mostly a joke. In fact, TNA's ppv's have been jokes for so long that this year they're doing something about it. This show, Genesis, April's Lockdown, June's Slammiversary, and October's Bound for Glory will be the only four live ppv's of the year from now on. The others will be pre-taped and air on Friday nights for a cheaper price. In fact, they taped February and April's ppv's on the Saturday before this show. Yes, two ppv's taped in one day (one was a joker's wild tag team show airing April 5th...the other an X-Division show with an RVD/Jerry Lynn main event for Feb.) This means that these taped ppv's won't have title matches or current storylines. The point is that most of the wrestlers had ppv money in their contracts so they couldn't get rid of 12 a year just yet. But this show, Genesis, will be the last live ppv in Orlando. The rest are on the road. God speed.

CHAVO GUERRERO JR. & HERNANDEZ vs. MATT MORGAN & JOEY RYAN: I'll admit up front that I was mostly paying attention to The Golden Globes telecast. This match was mediocre. Joey Ryan is hilarious but they stuck him in a tag team and he's better on his own. *1/2

SAMOA JOE vs. KEN ANDERSON: Mr. Anderson won. Samoa Joe is great but still buried. This was very dull. 1/2*

CHRISTIAN YORK vs. KENNY KING: Ugh. Who are these bores? 1/2*

RVD vs. CHRISTIAN YORK: Yeah...so the winner of the last match got to lose to RVD. Remember when the X Division was awesome? Memories...1/2*

DEVON vs. JOSEPH PARK: I miss Abyss. Strange...but a lot of the wrestling writers/critics online always talk down on violent matches that feature barbed wire and thumbtacks and what-not. I love those type of matches, though, and now that Park is not Abyss but just Joseph Park...it's all gone. And he's a fucking bore. His "storyline" has gone nowhere. And Devon and Aces & Eights are dull...until we get that epic, violent, clusterfuck that will be Bully Ray vs. Devon. -No Stars-

WOMEN'S GAUNTLET MATCH (VELVET SKY): Kind of hate the TNA's girl division. Velvet is back. She looks like a plastic Barbie doll except the white trash version. *

JAMES STORM vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS: Eh. Daniels is great. Hilarious. Storm is kind of overweight and boring...though in WWE he'd be great; they'd make him lose weight, he'd be the outlaw. *1/2

STING vs. DOC: God did this ppv blow. Sting is too old. -No Stars-

AUSTIN ARIES vs. BOBBY ROODE vs. JEFF HARDY: Well this was a good match. The only one. The crowd even chanted, "This is awesome!" during it. They did it elimination style; so the heels teamed up on Hardy then turned on each other and Roode was pinned then Hardy won. The finish was great; Hardy did a Twist of Fate on Aries over the top rope and onto the edge of the mat. Good ending to a dismal night. ***

Best Wrestler of 2012: DANIEL BRYAN

Daniel Bryan came into 2012 as the Smackdown champ and was as big this year as almost anyone in the company. He not only had a great match with Sheamus at Extreme Rules but he was teamed with Kane for the second half of the year and actually made Kane entertaining. He was in a wedding on RAW's 1,000 episode -and- got a nickname (Goat Face). He was all over. The WWE gave Bryan the lamest, most comedic storylines and gimmicks this year and any other wrestler would have withered and died but Bryan is such a good in-ring wrestler and such a great personality that he elevated everything. He had a few terrific matches with Punk in the summer and closed out the year in a very entertaining TLC match. He was one of the only aspects of RAW worth watching and one of the only wrestlers you actually wanted to see in skits and in the ring. He got a massive catchphrase that will go down in history as the new "what?" by shouting "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and then "No! No! No!" When he's introduced at a show the crowd stands up and chants...still. His schtick hasn't gotten old. It's already legend. It was his year.

Best Show of 2012: WWE EXTREME RULES

It's a little surprising that the best show of 2012 was the follow up to Wrestlemania, which is supposed to be the best of the year. Extreme Rules of course featured the return of Brock Lesnar, which I think was even bigger than The Rock returning. Lesnar vs. Cena did not disappoint. It was a wild, sloppy, bloody main event that was better than expected. This show also featured one of the year's best: a 2 out of 3 Falls match between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan. Their match at 'Mania lasted mere seconds so it was good to see them go long and entertain the hell out of the audience. CM Punk also did a top-rope elbow drop onto Jericho and the Spanish announce table on this show and Kane was actually in a good match that went all over the building. The show had a few awful matches but it had enough great moments to make it the best show of the year. &, seriously, has there ever been a show where Cena and Kane were in good matches?