WCW ROAD WILD

Saturday, August 14th from The Black Hills of Sturgis, South Dakota

    It’s Tuesday afternoon and even though I have to go back to Delco in two weeks, I’m riding a good August wave with Road Wild, Pocono weekend, Summer Slam, Smackdown, ECW on TNN, Great Adventure, and Penn State’s first game verse Arizona on the 28th. Life is good…and so is wrestling! Last night the Monday shows pulled out no stops. WCW was same old but did feature the return of Hulkamania and put into effect a massive stipulation for Sturgis. WWF had a monster of a show that featured Jesse Ventura, Shawn Michaels…and the introduction of Chris Jericho! If you thought that wasn’t enough, Jericho officially has started his first WWF feud with none other than…The Rock. That’s right…The Rock and Chris Jericho. Talk about the mother of all feuds.
    Right now though I’m writing the predictions for this Saturday Night’s Sturgis, SD based event, Road Wild. I’m not even going to be here to see it but hopefully the ppv box will work in upstate PA. If not I’ll catch the replay…but I’m seriously mad if I miss the end. Not only is Nash fighting Hogan for the belt…whoever loses retires! Hogan recently went to doctors to see if his knee was okay and since he brought the red and yellow back wouldn’t it make sense he leaves? Nash on the other hand has quit his booking job and was rumored to want to be taking some time off. So realistically, either man could lose here. The card is half decent, too, and definitely better than Summer Slam’s majorily lame card. Austin vs. HHH? Snooze alert. The Rock vs. B.A. Billy Gunn? B..o..r..i..n..g. Why don’t you scratch Gunn and just have Rock and Jericho talk? There’s a thought, and here’s my predictions, my thoughts, bitches, etc etc etc. Oh yeah, underlined are the predicted winners, in case you were inept.

ICP & VAMPIRO vs. MYSTERIO, GUERRERO, & KIDMAN: This probably will be the best matchup of the evening, and probably the first, since they usually put the luchadores on first. Doesn’t that AC/DC song, ‘Money Talks’ rock? Anyway, I just got the Insane Clown Possee’s lastest album, ‘The Amazing Jeckyl Brothers’. It’s really funny and really great. I thought I would hate it but I was very surprised. As wrestlers they’re decent, but Vampiro is pretty entertaining, as our the three dudes facing them. Mysterio, Guerrero, and Kidman are the best of the best, real talent. Should be a good match. I hope Raven interferes somehow. He used to be one of my favorties, but since he was injured I’ve lost interest. I can’t wait until he comes back into action. Good guys should get the win, even if Raven tries some funny stuff.

THE CAT vs. BUFF BAGWELL: Technically this match could go either way, but most would think Buff would take the win. I’m betting on The Cat. Early summer they gave Buff a minor push with the Roddy Piper storyline but now he’s lost in space and lame as ever. The Cat however has been doing the same schtick for almost a year and still is fresh as ever. This match will be lame but funny with The Cat and is antics.

STING vs. SID VICIOUS: Sting is still a very entertaining wrestler. Sid was good in ECW but he’s just okay in WCW. He does the powerbomb and looks monstrous, but he’s not really anything special. This match should be good since Sting always gets the crowd into it. Expect the good guy to get the win.

THE MACHO MAN vs. DENNIS RODMAN: Dennis Rodman was much more entertaining last year when he was with Hogan and they were calling him Rodzilla. Now he’s pretty lame. This match will be a laughing stock. Dennis Rodman could get the win since he’s not really a wrestler, but I think Macho will take it home because otherwise he’ll look like a chump and can’t really be a big guy in WCW if they have him lose to this dridiot. Should entertain when GG shows up.
   
CHRIS BENOIT vs. DDP: Benoit finally took the U.S. Title off of David Flair. There are rumors that David will quit and become a state trooper and other rumors that Meng will be his bodyguard. David is sort of funny but I think he’s been used up, don’t you? Benoit is the real deal, he’s great. Remember the diving headbutt off of the top of the cage? How about the diving headbut onto the steel chair on Raven’s head? He needed stitches for that massive cut. DDP is sort of entertaining. It should be a great U.S. Title reign since Benoit is great. He’ll keep the title for awhile.

KANYON & BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. HARLEM HEAT: Right now The Triad has the belts, and them with the belts is getting old even though they just won them this summer. Harlem Heat are crowd favorites and a real tag team so they deserve it, and they should get it. This match is going to be boring: the reason they invented FF.
   
GOLDBERG vs. RIC STEINER: Bill Goldberg is officially back after WCW decided to pay him over a million a year like he wanted. It’s a big month for him, what, with his new movie coming out next Friday: Universal Soldier 2: The Return. It looks like a Showtime original but I’ll check it out for ‘Da Man. I enjoy him because he’s entertaining. Ric Steiner has the TV title. I doubt he’ll get it because isn’t he main event material? I’m guessing Scott Steiner will show up to cause a DQ and then Goldberg will spear both of them and the crowd will go nuts. Should be a wild match. Remember last year’s Road Wild when Godlberg jacknifed The Giant? Crazy.

CHAD BROCK & THE REVOLUTION vs. THE WEST TEXAS REDNECKS: No one even knows if this match is happening. It could just be a singles match between Chad Brock (a country singer I’ve never heard of) and Henig, but I’m guessing they’ll involve everyone anyway. Should be a lame matchup, but the Rednecks are at least funny, and this will be the first ppv for The Franchise himself so maybe he’ll prove WCW spent their money wisely for him. Expect Brock to get the pin since you’ll never hear from him again.

KEVIN NASH vs. HULK HOGAN: If Hogan wins, which everyone thinks will happen, then Nash would take his vacation he wanted and somehow show up at Starrcade, right? I’m guessing Hogan loses. It will probably be because of Scott Hall, right? I’m sort of doubting he’ll show up, but I think Hogan is gone. Why? First off, he had his knee injured earlier and had surgery. Last month he went to the doctors because he thought he had re-injured it. This could make him want to retire because he doesn’t want to hurt his knee anymore. Plus, he wore the red and yellow last night on Nitro. That could mean he’s leaving for good so why not wear the red and yellow before he’s gone? Of course I can’t believe Hogan would leave forever. The WCW hotline reports Hogan will start his feud on Monday with Bret Hart, then Nash will feud with Bret Hart in the winter. That technically means Hogan wins Saturday. Should I believe the horses mouth? Nah. Here’s my thoughts: Nash wins, loses to Goldberg, who loses to Bret Hart. I can dream right?

    I should remember this moment because what I’m about to type rarely comes. WCW’s Road Wild was a good ppv. I didn’t say great. For it to be a great ppv they would have had someone turn good or bad or Scott Hall to show up. Plus…the main event could have been good. All in all though, the majority of the matches weren’t awesome but definitely above average for WCW. The motorcylce/outdoor atmosphere added a lot. The highlights? Rodman and Macho showed up and put on the best match of the night, Sid beat Sting cleanly, and Chris Benoit showed us why he’s definite U.S. Title material. As for the big Heavyweight/Retirement match? Did you have to ask? Hulkamania remains and Kevin ‘Big Sexy’ Nash has officially RETIRED. Don’t bet on it. Anyway, here are my rambling incoherent thoughts on WCW’s Road Wild 1999. Rumors persist it’ll be the last ppv at Sturgis. Too bad, they’ve really got something going with it. Checked are my correct predictions, underlined the true winners. Can I beat my record of 75%? You’ll have to read three pages of shit to get to the answer. Good luck.

+MYSTERIO, KIDMAN, & GUERRERO vs. THE DEAD POOL: Why did they waste so much talent on one simple match? Why not spread it out? Vampiro, Kidman, Mysterio, and Eddie Guerroro are all great wrestlers. The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) add an entertaining angle, and at least Raven is sitting ringside instead of backstage. An above average high-flying opening bout. Vampiro is starting to become a big time wrestler. I’d love to see him with the Cruiserweight belt. Mysterio sucks ass now that his mask is off. **1/2 (out of ****)

+BAM BAM & KANYON vs. HARLEM HEAT: I picked it, asshole. The Triad didn’t have DDP for this match so I guess the bookers decided it was as good a reason as any to give a real tag team the Tag Team belts. This match was boring. DDP interfered. Same old shit. Harlem Heat got the crowd involved. Filler. *1/2

+THE REVOLUTION vs. WEST TEXAS REDNECKS: The Revolution is pretty lame. I like Shane Douglas but so far he’s proven that WCW is wasting their money. Boy does he have to go on a diet. Malenko wasn’t even tagged into this match…man he must feel like an asshole. The West Texas Rednecks are sort of funny but their gimmick has worn off and left me cold. The chaos of seven men running around beating eachother into submission was enough to garner it an average **.

BUFF BAGWELL vs. THE CAT: My streak is ruined when Buff is not the Stuff wins over my man… Da Cat. This match was awful. Why you say? Well when The Cat attemtped to talk the bikers revved their engines…so The Cat couldn’t make us laugh. Sadly, that is The Cat’s only quality. *

+CHRIS BENOIT vs. DDP: This was a no-DQ match. Chris Benoit is definitely one of the best wrestlers in WCW. His mike skills and personality need work…but he’s not really into that. He’s into…wrestling. This was a fairly decent above average matchup. Benoit is ferocious…he’s intense. That’s what wrestling needs. ECW usually pumps up the intensity. WCW does not. DDP chokes the life out of Benoit with the ref’s belt. Kanyon and Bam Bam show up to thward Benoit’s fight. Chris Benoit gets the belt. Finally a true champion has arisen from the smoke. **1/2

STING vs. SID VICIOUS: The only surprise of the entire night. Sid not only beat Sting…he beat him without cheating…without outside interference…without an illegal object. He beat Sting cleanly. Fucking Goldberg, Bret Hart, and Hulk Hogan have never beaten Sting cleanly. The only reason they let Sid win is because they’ve given him the old Goldberg gimmick. What is it? He racks up a crazy win streak. This will ultimately lead to unbeaten Sid facing unstoppable Goldberg down the road. This match was more or less the same but both competitors I like and the surprise win gave it the oomph it needed to garner a decent **1/2 rating.

+RIC STEINER vs. GOLDBERG: Why is Bill Goldberg facing a loser like Ric Steiner? Because WCW has desperately been trying to turn Ric Steiner into Scott Steiner ever since Scott Steiner’s back injury. When the hell is that Goldberg/Sting matchup going to occur? The first time they fought Sting had Goldberg in the scorpion death lock and he was about to win. Hogan interfered or someone forcing a DQ. The next time the two faced Bret Hart hit both of them with a chair forcing a DQ. I want to see a clean match. Now of course...with Sting losing to Sid…don’t expect a re-match until next Spring or Summer. I guess this match sucked if I’m talking about totally different things. Same old shit. Good energy. Nothing new. Ric Steiner sucks now. I guess he’s always sucked. Oh well. Give Da Man a worthy opponent please. **

+MACHO MAN vs. DENNIS RODMAN: I am still surprised to say that the best match of the night involved the Macho Man and Dennis Rodman. In actuality, no real moves occurred, not even the big elbow…but just the way both men kicked the shit out of eachother. They both knocked out almost six referrees, plus, Macho took Dennis backstage and threw him into a port-o-potty and tipped it. You could actually see the shit running out the side, I swear to God. Rodman complained a few days after that Macho wrestled too stiff. It sure looked like it. Great fun matchup. Macho wins with help from GG and a chain. What ppv matches should look like. ***

HULK HOGAN vs. KEVIN ‘BIG SEXY’ NASH: If Kevin Nash never shows his face again then maybe I will be happy and say this was a great main event. The only retirement match that actually proved to be a retirement match was when Bret Hart faced Bob Backlund at some Wrestlemania. Gee, I wonder who fucking won. This matchup anyway sucked. Hulk Hogan is a goddamned geizer. He bores the shit out of me. I loved when he was the evil menacing N.W.O.-leader, Hollywood Hogan. Now he’s back to his lame assed red and yellow. I wish he was an announcer or manager. Wrestler he aint. Champion? Give me a fucking break. Although I’m glad to see Nash go, boy did he get boring fast. *1/2

   
    Road Wild gets a 16.4 rating. I think I’ve fucked up, though. Is it out of 8 or 9? See I think I started doing it out of 9 but then changed to 8 without realizing. Who cares. Road Wild was a **1/2 star event, the best since Slamboree. The main event blew, but the Macho Man/Rodman match, the ICP match, and the Benoit defense were all very entertaining. Plus…the outside motorclye South Dakota sun setting wild party atmosphere is much better than a enclosed souless dome. I predicted 6 out of 9 matches, which is a lame 66.6%. I fucked up. The Cat was a good pick, as was Sting, but what was I thinking when I chose Hogan to retire. I was blinded with what I wanted. Like Hak to bring back the hardcore style at Fall Brawl. Speaking of which, every September WCW has it’s ppv titled Fall Brawl: War Games. The war games part is a two-ring steel cage extravaganza with 3 three-man teams battling it out. The winner goes on to face the champ at Halloween Havoc, which ends up usually being the big ppv even though they say Starrcade is it. Rumors persist that they may not even have a War Games this year. That FUCKING SUCKS. I’ve never seen War Games. I’ve been waiting all year. I’ve got my box and everything. Two rings with a steel cage wrapped around it! And this is the first year the hardcore element is in swing. Could it mean….okay. This is WCW were talking about. Anyway, in a measly three days time Summerslam hits ppv boxes everywhere. I’m not that excited. At least Mankind is now in the main event, if he wasn’t in it I’d have loaded my gun and painted a bullseye on my forehead prior to the show. Ventura is there, so there’s that. Hopefully Jericho will show up and create some carnage, and if us wrestling fanz are really lucky, they’ll introduce The Dudly Boyz…otherwise, I can’t wait until Raw or Smackdown for those dudes. Until then.