Philadelphia, PA
The big news of the week isn’t really what went down at the ppv, but what went down on Raw is War on TNN. Yep, Raw’s first show on The National Network (they changed the name…that’ll be a quiz question somewhere down the road…what was TNN first called?).
I was there. I was at Raw is War’s premiere on TNN. And yes, it was a big show. A ladder match? A first blood match? A double people’s elbow from HHH and Rocky?
You bet. It’s funny. Last year around this time me and Stu went to Vince Russo’s first Nitro. It was better than average, but compared to Raw on TNN, that show fucking sucked. It was great to finally see the WWF in person. I had been to two house shows way back when (I remember Yokozuna fought someone and the one show featured a main event cage match between Owen and Bret Hart), but never in the current, ‘cool’ era.
The WWF is downright great live, especially this show. Everyone cheered for ‘Stone Cold’ and The Rock. The ladder match got big pops. The entrance explosions rock the building. Kane’s explosive entrance is mind numbingly cool.
It was a great night of wrasslin’, and I can always say that I saw The Hardy Boyz successfully defend their belts against Edge and Christian in a ladder match. That’s right. The ticket cost me $22, and it was all worth it to see Edge spear Matt Hardy in mid-air as he hung onto the belts.
Wow.
But wait a minute…there was a ppv the night previous. So what happened? Did Rock successfully defend the title? Well… And you already know E&C lost the tag belts. What about Raven?
I’ll get to my man soon enough. Here’s an in-depth look at Unforgiven, which would have probably gotten a lower rating had I watched it alone. Instead, I watched it in the confines of a rowdy, beer soaked Champs crowd.
Correct predictions are +ed, and yada yada yada.
RIGHT TO CENSOR vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ & THE ACOLYTES: I expected this match to be a twenty minute brawl for all with tables, blood, chairs, and bodies falling all over the place. I was wrong. It kicked off the evening, but it didn’t last long at all. Stevie Richards won with his missed Stevie Kick, but then Buh Buh put him through a table after the loss. I expected a lot from this match, because I enjoy The Dudleys and Stevie, but The Acolytes suck, and it was too short. Right to Censor has already moved on to battle with Chyna and Eddie G., so I guess this eight man feud is over…for now. **
+TAZZ vs. JERRY ‘THE KING’ LAWLER: This was a ‘strap’ match, but the actual match totally sucked. But there was something cool that did happen. Yep, as stated higher up, Raven showed up, DDT’d Lawler, leading to Tazz getting the pin. On Raw Raven DDT’d both Lawler and Buh Buh Ray Dudley. So…for No Mercy (the WWF’s next ppv) we’ll hopefully see an all ECW tag match pitting Tazz & Raven vs. The Dudley Boyz. Wow. I can’t fucking wait. **
+STEVE BLACKMAN vs. CRASH vs. SATURN vs. AL SNOW vs. TEST vs. FUNAKI:
This was another God awful Hardcore Invitational thingamajig where there’s a ten minute time limit and of course the belt keeps changing hands. Blackman ended up winning. Real lame stuff. *
+CHRIS JERICHO vs. X-PAC: If you can believe it, these two actually faced each other last year…at the same fucking ppv, Unforgiven. Last year though Jericho was set to face Shamrock but Ken left so Y2J and X were stuck with eachother. On another note, I gave their match last year a mere ½ of a *. Which is bad, though, granted, not as bad as the Scott Steiner vs. Tank Abbot match from Bash at the Beach which garnered minus one star. Anyway, seriously, all that I do remember is that these two faced eachother in a 2 minute First Blood match on Raw where X-Pac won but Jericho gave him the lion tamer on the announce desk (another thing, on Raw there was no Spanish announce table! No way!). Since Jericho won, this match was pretty hot, especially his wild lionsault. I love that move. **
+THE HARDY BOYZ vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN: Finally…The Rock…sorry. I mean finally The Hardy Boyz have won back the titles. They deserved it last month at the T.L.C. match, but I’ll take this win. The ladder match on Raw between these two teams was actually more exciting, but I enjoyed the cage match nonetheless. The biggest high spot happened when Jeff Hardy (i.e. the crazy one) doing a wild spin-flip from the top of the cage and landing between both Christian and Jeff (I think they were supposed to catch him, but everyone fell over and it still worked). The other big move (beside Jeff toppling from the top of the cage to the mat floor at least three times) was Lita doing a hurricanrana (when Sandman does it it’s known as a Heinekenrana) on Edge from the top of a ladder outside the cage. Both landed hard. This was a wild match, not as good as any of the others these teams have been in this year, but it was great to see The Hardy’s snag the titles. It’s been at least a year since they’ve had the gold. ***
+EDDIE GUERRERO vs. RIKISHI: On Raw, Chyna came out with two big cut outs of her Playboy cover (yes, as if you need a reason to throw up, she’s in Playboy, though I think it’s only topless not…okay I won’t go there) and had this big, long B.S. speech about how she worked hard and you don’t have to be ultra thin to be in Playboy. Okay, manwoman, you are in Playboy because Hugh Hefner and his cronies know the same guys who like wrestling like porn, so they’ll put anyone in the WWF in Playboy, and this manwoman was the only beast that said yes. Where’s Lita? Trish? Lilian Garcia even? Anyway, there was a match going on, and the only reason this mid-card match was placed this high in the card was to not make the other matches seem so lame after the high spots during the cage mele. ½*
HHH vs. KURT ANGLE: This ‘Love Triangle’ is still going on (and currently stemming out of it is HHH’s baby face turn), and while the triple threat Summerslam match really benefited from the storyline, this match royally sucked. HHH is usually only entertaining against much more exciting wrestlers, like Cactus Jack or The Rock. This match just didn’t work, at all. The one good aspect was Angle’s wrestleplex style move where he tossed HHH over his head and through the…guess…the Spanish announce table. It wasn’t boring, just not as exciting as it should have been. **
THE ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN SEGMENTS: The best aspect of Unforgiven was not the cage match or the debut of Raven, even though both of those moments were terrific. The best parts were every segment featuring ‘Stone Cold’. He showed up in a truck and pushed announcer Kevin Kelly onto the ground, he met face to face with The Rock, and he told Kurt Angle to shove his honary gold medal up his ass. But the best part was the segment where Austin hit the ring. It would be the first time Austin would be in a WWF ring since way back in April at Backlash, where he looked uncoordinative and fat. The big storyline in the WWF is ‘Who Hit Stone Cold?’. See, last year at Survivor Series, Austin got hit by a car and he came back to find out who did it. Well, during this segment, Shane O’Mac came to ring ready to show his alleged proof of who hit ‘Stone Cold’. His proof? A silly segment from a year ago where Steve Blackman backed his car into Ken Shamrock (don’t ask). Of cousre Blackman came out to demand retribution, but then the glass broke (Austin’s music), and his new heavy metal theme filled the arena. Austin was back. Shane then pretended like his proof was accurate, so he began to celebrate with Austin and drink some beers. Then of course Austin turned and gave Shane three stunners, and Blackman one or two, I forget. Then he left. Every Austin segment was hilarous (except for his quote, “There are three things that are permanent. Death, taxes, and you don’t trust anywhere around here.” Whatever) and it really helped lift this average ppv and made you glad you checked it out. All of his segments combined: ***1/2
THE ROCK vs. CHRIS BENOIT vs. KANE vs. THE UNDERTAKER: Chris Benoit pinned The Undertaker to win the belt, but of course ‘Taker’s foot was on the rope, so the decision was reversed. This happened to Benoit at Fully Loaded, too, but then the big deal was that it was a fast count or interference or something. It must not have been that great because I forget. Anyway, I picked Kane, and I really though ‘Taker might take it, but Rock wins, which was smart because he showed up for TNN as the champ. This match wasn’t as exciting as it could have been. Benoit sucks, Kane and ‘Taker were kind of boring. Benoit winning was really lame and I don’t see any point to have done it except to have the rematch on Raw (which Rock won clean). Hopefully No Mercy will be a tad better, especially if Austin reinforces the rumors and actually wrestles. **
And so it goes. The WWF is pretty hot right now, what with Austin and Raven in the mix, but unfortunately my cable company (which the University runs) doesn’t offer TNN or UPN. So I can only watch MTV’s Sunday Night Heat. Wow. So I guess I won’t be following the old WWF as usual, but I’ll still keep up with everything and I’ll definitely catch No Mercy.
Unforgiven received only ** but a healthy 18 rating. I liked the Austin stuff, Raven’s debut, and the cage match, but not much else. Raw on TNN was better, albeit on TV it may have been worse. I don’t know.
I guessed a decent 62.5% of the matches correctly, which isn’t bad. I was surprised Right to Censor won, and Triple H beating Angle again was pointless.
Anyway, Nitro was interesting to say the least. Vince Russo beat Booker T. for the title (yes, another Russo title change…though is it as bad as Arquette as champ? That is the question) in a hell in the cell, er…I mean a caged heat match. Goldberg speered Russo through the cage wall. Also, a few guy’s from Stern’s radio program showed up to judge a swimsuit contest. Hank was there, and Beetlejuice got knocked out thanks to JJ and a guitar.
On Thunder (supposedly, since I don’t get TBS either) Russo says he doesn’t want the title and will give it up on Nitro. Russo: Please don’t give it to Nash. Give it to Steiner. Or even start another tournament. Just don’t give it to Nash.
Well, next Sunday is ECW’s annual Anarchy Rulz ppv, which is headlined by Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible for the belt. Also Rhino faces Rob Van Dam, Corino vs. C.W. Anderson, The F.B.I. vs. Whipwreck & Tajiri, and last but definitely not least, Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus. I haven’t seen ECW since Labor Day, but seriously, where the hell is Sandman? And Psicosis? And Super Crazy? New Jack is back, and he’s reffing one of the matches. I think it’s the main event. I’m sure Sandman’ll be there. I really hope ECW gets on USA. I miss those crazy fucks.
WWF puts on No Mercy October 22nd, which is a huge weekend. Tyson faces Golota on Friday and the Fightin’ Illini take on Penn St. up here in the Valley of Happiness. I’m not sure who will fight at No Mercy, but who the hell is left to fight The Rock? I hope it’s Undertaker or Kane solo against the Rock. Who will Austin face? I have no idea, but I hope he does wrestle. The other big match should be Dudleys vs. Raven & Tazz, but it’s kind of early right now…
Which brings us to Halloween Havoc, which is even further away, not hitting us until the 29th. The promos say that Sting will bring a new image to WCW. Wow. I can’t wait. How much is it again?
Just fuckin’ around. Hopefully it’ll have Steiner vs. Booker T., Goldberg vs. Nash, and Terry Funk vs. Mike Awesome. Those are distant dreams though, and by the time ‘Havoc does roll around, Russo will have lost the title to Booker T., who will have lost to Nash, who will have lost to Steiner, so who will lost it to David Arquette.
Okay, you get the point.
Anyway, I’ll do a review of Anarcy Rulz on my Fall Break, which is the 6th through 9th of October. So until then.
Sunday, September 24, 2000
Sunday, January 23, 2000
WWF ROYAL RUMBLE
from Madison Square Garden, New York, New York
I haven’t actually written out my predictions for an event since WCW’s Halloween Havoc which I incidentally did not review. I came to a point where I was sick of watching those show opening B matches just because I had an obligation to review them so I could rate the entire ppv. I also came to a reasoning that there hadn’t been a ppv that I was excited about in a long time. The last time I was excited about a ppv was probably the King of the Ring way back in June. That was mostly because of the main event which consisted of Austin-Shane- and Vince in a ladder match.
But here comes the WWF’s first ppv of 2000. The infamous Royal Rumble, held in the even more infamous Madison Square Garden. The main event is Triple H taking on Cactus Jack in a street fight which promises buckets of blood and at least one or two major bumps. The other matches include the 30 man rumble, a table match between my favorite two tag teams, a women’s swimsuit competition, and a rumored premiere of ECW’s own Taz(z). So here goes nothing. My predictions are underlined.
THE ACOLYTES vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS: You know how Sting is always stung? Well the Acolytes always win. This is the only match I couldn’t give a shit about, since I hate DX and the Acolytes are only entertaining backstage.
MYSTERY OPPONENT vs. KURT ANGLE: Angle is undefeated, so the rumors persist that Tazz will show up and taxplex his ass through a table and give him a loss. WWF.com stated that Tazz will not be at the Rumble, which means that the other rumor is Ken Shamrock will show up. Sinze Tazz is from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, and he’d be premiering in his hometown, it only makes sense that he’ll come out and beat the shit out of Angle, then he could do an interview on Raw in Philly. But even if it isn’t Tazz…I see Angle going down.
BB vs. TORRI vs. TERRI vs. MAE YOUNG vs. THE KAT vs. IVORY vs. JAQUELINE vs. LUNA: This is a swimsuit competition. I don’t even know if it’s a fight…and I don’t even know if the women’s title is on the line. I do know that the elusive ‘net rumors at this match featuring nudity. The reasons? Supposedly WWF is promoting the ppv with a TV-14 rating. Well below the TV-14 rating were the letters V-L and N. Violence, Language…Nudity??? They did it at Armageddon…so it wouldn’t surprise me here. I’ll take the blonde bombshell ‘cuz she’s new and has to get a win somewhere.
THE HARDY BOYZ vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ: This is the one match that could actually turn out –better- than Jack and HHH. Why? Well, the WWF finally realized the Dudley’s are only entertaining when the hardcore quotient comes into play. This is a tables match, which I guess means you have to put your opponents through as many tables as possible. The Hardy Boyz and the Dudley Boyz are my favorite two tag teams in any federation, and expect this to be a great match since all four guys will take major falls and keep on coming. Expect a classic…and since the Dudley’s are getting a push (new outfits…new hardcore attitude) expect them to snag the upset.
CHRIS JERCHO vs. HARDCORE HOLLY vs. CHYNA: I guess it was interesting on paper. They made Jericho –and- Chyna co-Intercontinental Champs. Meaning expect Holly to win and do away with this silly stipulation that hasn’t really been too entertaining.
THE ROYAL RUMBLE (Undertaker, Big Show, Val Venis, British Bulldog, Al Snow, Rodney, Scotty 2 Hotty, Test, Stephanie McMahon, Mark Henry, & Rikishi Phatu)
Me, Stu, and Jack bet on this year’s 30-man Rumble. Supposedly there are two mystery guys, so that’s where Undertaker and Stephanie McMahon stem from. I think the only guys that have a shot are Kane, The Rock, The Big Show, and The Undertaker. The bottom line is that if ‘Taker shows up he’ll win, if he doesn’t I’m betting on Kane…though Stu has him so I’ll take my guys like a man. The Rock is the obvious choice, and The Big Show is another choice that makes sense, but Show just had the fucking belt so I doubt he’ll win. Rock would be way too obvious. I say The Big Show –and- The Rock won’t win. I really think Kane will win. Hopefully it’ll a good Rumble, since it’s roughly an hour long. 30 man total. Each man comes in every two-minutes. I hope there’s a surprise at the end…like last year. Vince winning the ‘Rumble and drinking a few cold ones with the corporation was classic.
The 2000 Royal Rumble was an okay ppv. I can’t say good because it wasn’t. I will say that it had two good enough matches to make it the best WWF ppv since Summerslam. The internet seemed to enjoy the ppv because it had a lot of moments you can talk about for a few weeks. One of the Hardy boys jumping off a balcony (okay, it wasn’t a balcony but I don’t know what you call it) and giving D-Von a senton bomb through a table. Mae Young showing MSG her puppies (I’m not kidding…and yes, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up). Cactus Jack pulling out a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. The Rock winning his first Rumble. And I can’t forget how they kicked off the show…the introduction of Tazz into the WWF.
It was a wild night…and definitely worth watching, which I usually don’t say about pay per views. Here are my thoughts, my bitches, gripes, and moans…and oh yeah…that Raw in Philly really sucked.
TRIPLE H vs. CACTUS JACK: I picked Mick Foley to take the strap off the French dude. I figured he’d have a re-match at No Way Out in February and lose the title. Guess not. It was a solid, brutal, 30-minute matchup that was awesome but had enough silly things to make me garner it ***. Triple H bled, yes, but it was obviously fake blood. Also, Cactus pulled out a piece of wood wrapped in –real- barbed wire. Triple H hit Jack three times in the gut and over his back with the –real- barbed wire. The ref made the spanish announcers hide the wired board under their table. When Jack ran over and got it he pulled out a board with rubber barbed wire on it. Of course he hit Triple H in the head with the –fake- barbed wire about five times but it was extremely silly. HHH did take a stiff piledriver on the spanish announce table which didn’t break, and he had a huge gash in his leg that spewed real blood, so I guess I can forgive him for not taking a –real- barbed wire shot or gushing –real- blood. The match was definitely a classic for one simple reason: HHH gave Jack a pedigree on thousands of thumbtacks. Jack got up with them sticking in his forehead and one was in his neck. Hardcore to the bone. If he retires soon and this is his last big match, then he definitely went out in style. Wrestling ain’t gonna be the same without that ol’ bastard.
THE ROYAL RUMBLE (THE ROCK): So the obvious choice won, and it’s going to be HHH taking on The Rock at Wrestlemania 2000 from Anaheim’s Pond. That match just plain sucks…so hopefully the undercards will be amusing like last year’s. I’ve only seen one or two Rumbles…and they’ve never been good. This was was extremely boring, and it was only exciting because me and my bro and friend bet on it. They have to keep the Rumble just because it’s a pretty interesting concept, but at least add some –oomph-. They at least tried to last year. This year they didn’t attempt anything. And where the hell are Vince and Shane? Your company sucks without you. Though Tazz is pretty cool. *1/2
CHRIS JERICHO vs. CHYNA vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: I picked Hardcore, being that Jericho and Chyna were in the IC title storyline for way too long and have made the title boring. Jericho is funny when he talks. Before the match Chyna told Jericho he has to be, “Chivalrous.” Jericho laughs, “Chivalrous? We aren’t in medieval times.” The funniest thing I’ve heard so far this year. That guy is great. Though his storyline with Chyna is so old. Give him a new opponent. He hasn’t been the same ever since The Fink left him. *1/2
BB, MAE YOUNG, JACKIE, TERRI, IVORY, MS. KITTY: This was a swimsuit competition, and yes, Mae Young showed everyone her tits. It was the furthest the WWF has ever gone and I seriously doubt they will ever go any further. Sick. Disgusting. Twisted. What the hell is Vince McMahon thinking? And what was up with the censored bar on the screen? It didn’t even censor the horrors of…Mae Young. I wish they had just cut to black. Horrible. Horrible. Terri looked hotter than she’s ever looked, though. Man. To think Golddust was banging her. Man. What the hell did he do to leave that slice? I don’t know if I should rate this. Though it’s something that will unfortunately never be forgotten. At least there were three hot chicks. Where’s Sable when you need her, though? **1/2
+TAZZ vs. KURT ANGLE: The only match of the night I predicted correctly. Talk about a jip. Tazz’s entrance was awesome. Orange flashing lights. Pounding music. He walks out with his towel over his head. He’s a tough a-hole but whether or not he can pull it off in the big league is beyond me. I think he’s got enough to do it. His storyline with Angle is interesting. He choked out Angle and Angle says his win streak is not in jeopardy because the choke was illegal. Whatever. Great way to start off the ppv and Tazz looked sharp. Too bad he had to give Angle the tazzplex on the mat instead of through a table like in his ECW days. **1/2
THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE ACOLYTES: I mentioned The Acolytes always win. Apparently they don’t. This match was maybe three minutes long and three minutes too long. ½* only because Bradshaw gave Ass a sweet looking clothesline from hell that flipped him.
THE HARDY BOYZ vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ: The best match of the night ended up being the table match between my two favorite tag teams in all of wrestling. Finally…the Rock has come back to…wait a minute. Finally the Dudley Boyz are becoming ‘hardcore’. When they started in the WWF they were just a basic kicks-and-punches tag team, but now they’re table smashing mother fuckers and the fans (at least I am) are eating it all up. Buh Buh Ray started off the match by calling John Rocker (the Braves b-ball player that publicly stated he hated New York because of all the immigrants) a “hero”. There were some sweet table bumps by every member of the team, but the best one was Jeff Hardy’s senton bomb off the entranceway onto D-Von. As the Hardy’s celebrated their win, the Dudley’s lay in the entrance on smashed tables looking like they’d been in a tornado. Buh-Buh and D-Von grabbed eachother’s fingers in a half-handshake as they lay on the debris. It was a touching moment. They did it. They had to go through a lot of pain and a lot of heartbreak but it was over and they survived and they were in the big leagues in the WWF in MSG with fans chanting their match. It was a truly touching moment. Just them two saying we did it. Wow. What a fucking match. ***1/2
So there it is. The 2000 Royal Rumble will never be forgotten…whether it be for the brutal Cactus Jack match, the Dudley/Hardy high flying hardcore table bout, or the ninety year old hag flashing the crowd. It was an okay ppv…simply because the actual Rumble sucked big time. It was way too obvious for The Crock to win. I give the ppv **1/2 only because of the two hardcore matches and the intro of Tazz. It was definitely a ‘big’ ppv, in fact so ‘big’ that they decided to have nothing happen at the Philly Raw. I was sincerely glad I didn’t go. I expected Tazz to talk, and Vince or Shane to show up. It was a lame Raw, though Nitro wasn’t really any better either, though Funk’s moonsault off the top rope was pretty funny, and with Sid the champ at least it’s not Hogan. Though I am sad to admit I miss the old guy.
I predicted a meager 1 match out of 7 which is a horrible record setting 14.29%. There is no way in hell I’ll ever predict lower. The only way would be for me to watch a ppv and not predict one match. Hell, at least the Rumble surprised me…though not with The Rock. I just figured he wouldn’t win because it was too obvious. Oh well.
The next ppv up is Superbrawl 2000. If you will remember it was last year’s Superbrawl that was the first wreslting ppv I watched on my box and the first ppv I rated and reviewed. Last year’s wasn’t too great, and don’t expect fireworks from this one. So far it’s Sid taking on Hart, Funk and Ric Flair vs. Scott Hall & Nash, JJ vs. Kidman, and Fit Finlay vs. Knobbs. As of now Benoit and Saturn are officially out of WCW, and supposedly them and Malenko and Douglas are signing with the WWF and will probably show up in February. Chris Benoit at Wrestlemania. I never thought I’d see it. Maybe he’ll go fight Tazz. That’d be a wild match. Anyway, my time here is done, and my oh-so interesting Superbrawl 2000 (it’s really Superbrawl X, as if you cared) predictions won’t be out until around February 17th…which is 3 and ½ weeks away. 23 looong days. Hell, I can cope. So it goes. Until then.
I haven’t actually written out my predictions for an event since WCW’s Halloween Havoc which I incidentally did not review. I came to a point where I was sick of watching those show opening B matches just because I had an obligation to review them so I could rate the entire ppv. I also came to a reasoning that there hadn’t been a ppv that I was excited about in a long time. The last time I was excited about a ppv was probably the King of the Ring way back in June. That was mostly because of the main event which consisted of Austin-Shane- and Vince in a ladder match.
But here comes the WWF’s first ppv of 2000. The infamous Royal Rumble, held in the even more infamous Madison Square Garden. The main event is Triple H taking on Cactus Jack in a street fight which promises buckets of blood and at least one or two major bumps. The other matches include the 30 man rumble, a table match between my favorite two tag teams, a women’s swimsuit competition, and a rumored premiere of ECW’s own Taz(z). So here goes nothing. My predictions are underlined.
THE ACOLYTES vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS: You know how Sting is always stung? Well the Acolytes always win. This is the only match I couldn’t give a shit about, since I hate DX and the Acolytes are only entertaining backstage.
MYSTERY OPPONENT vs. KURT ANGLE: Angle is undefeated, so the rumors persist that Tazz will show up and taxplex his ass through a table and give him a loss. WWF.com stated that Tazz will not be at the Rumble, which means that the other rumor is Ken Shamrock will show up. Sinze Tazz is from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, and he’d be premiering in his hometown, it only makes sense that he’ll come out and beat the shit out of Angle, then he could do an interview on Raw in Philly. But even if it isn’t Tazz…I see Angle going down.
BB vs. TORRI vs. TERRI vs. MAE YOUNG vs. THE KAT vs. IVORY vs. JAQUELINE vs. LUNA: This is a swimsuit competition. I don’t even know if it’s a fight…and I don’t even know if the women’s title is on the line. I do know that the elusive ‘net rumors at this match featuring nudity. The reasons? Supposedly WWF is promoting the ppv with a TV-14 rating. Well below the TV-14 rating were the letters V-L and N. Violence, Language…Nudity??? They did it at Armageddon…so it wouldn’t surprise me here. I’ll take the blonde bombshell ‘cuz she’s new and has to get a win somewhere.
THE HARDY BOYZ vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ: This is the one match that could actually turn out –better- than Jack and HHH. Why? Well, the WWF finally realized the Dudley’s are only entertaining when the hardcore quotient comes into play. This is a tables match, which I guess means you have to put your opponents through as many tables as possible. The Hardy Boyz and the Dudley Boyz are my favorite two tag teams in any federation, and expect this to be a great match since all four guys will take major falls and keep on coming. Expect a classic…and since the Dudley’s are getting a push (new outfits…new hardcore attitude) expect them to snag the upset.
CHRIS JERCHO vs. HARDCORE HOLLY vs. CHYNA: I guess it was interesting on paper. They made Jericho –and- Chyna co-Intercontinental Champs. Meaning expect Holly to win and do away with this silly stipulation that hasn’t really been too entertaining.
THE ROYAL RUMBLE (Undertaker, Big Show, Val Venis, British Bulldog, Al Snow, Rodney, Scotty 2 Hotty, Test, Stephanie McMahon, Mark Henry, & Rikishi Phatu)
Me, Stu, and Jack bet on this year’s 30-man Rumble. Supposedly there are two mystery guys, so that’s where Undertaker and Stephanie McMahon stem from. I think the only guys that have a shot are Kane, The Rock, The Big Show, and The Undertaker. The bottom line is that if ‘Taker shows up he’ll win, if he doesn’t I’m betting on Kane…though Stu has him so I’ll take my guys like a man. The Rock is the obvious choice, and The Big Show is another choice that makes sense, but Show just had the fucking belt so I doubt he’ll win. Rock would be way too obvious. I say The Big Show –and- The Rock won’t win. I really think Kane will win. Hopefully it’ll a good Rumble, since it’s roughly an hour long. 30 man total. Each man comes in every two-minutes. I hope there’s a surprise at the end…like last year. Vince winning the ‘Rumble and drinking a few cold ones with the corporation was classic.
The 2000 Royal Rumble was an okay ppv. I can’t say good because it wasn’t. I will say that it had two good enough matches to make it the best WWF ppv since Summerslam. The internet seemed to enjoy the ppv because it had a lot of moments you can talk about for a few weeks. One of the Hardy boys jumping off a balcony (okay, it wasn’t a balcony but I don’t know what you call it) and giving D-Von a senton bomb through a table. Mae Young showing MSG her puppies (I’m not kidding…and yes, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up). Cactus Jack pulling out a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. The Rock winning his first Rumble. And I can’t forget how they kicked off the show…the introduction of Tazz into the WWF.
It was a wild night…and definitely worth watching, which I usually don’t say about pay per views. Here are my thoughts, my bitches, gripes, and moans…and oh yeah…that Raw in Philly really sucked.
TRIPLE H vs. CACTUS JACK: I picked Mick Foley to take the strap off the French dude. I figured he’d have a re-match at No Way Out in February and lose the title. Guess not. It was a solid, brutal, 30-minute matchup that was awesome but had enough silly things to make me garner it ***. Triple H bled, yes, but it was obviously fake blood. Also, Cactus pulled out a piece of wood wrapped in –real- barbed wire. Triple H hit Jack three times in the gut and over his back with the –real- barbed wire. The ref made the spanish announcers hide the wired board under their table. When Jack ran over and got it he pulled out a board with rubber barbed wire on it. Of course he hit Triple H in the head with the –fake- barbed wire about five times but it was extremely silly. HHH did take a stiff piledriver on the spanish announce table which didn’t break, and he had a huge gash in his leg that spewed real blood, so I guess I can forgive him for not taking a –real- barbed wire shot or gushing –real- blood. The match was definitely a classic for one simple reason: HHH gave Jack a pedigree on thousands of thumbtacks. Jack got up with them sticking in his forehead and one was in his neck. Hardcore to the bone. If he retires soon and this is his last big match, then he definitely went out in style. Wrestling ain’t gonna be the same without that ol’ bastard.
THE ROYAL RUMBLE (THE ROCK): So the obvious choice won, and it’s going to be HHH taking on The Rock at Wrestlemania 2000 from Anaheim’s Pond. That match just plain sucks…so hopefully the undercards will be amusing like last year’s. I’ve only seen one or two Rumbles…and they’ve never been good. This was was extremely boring, and it was only exciting because me and my bro and friend bet on it. They have to keep the Rumble just because it’s a pretty interesting concept, but at least add some –oomph-. They at least tried to last year. This year they didn’t attempt anything. And where the hell are Vince and Shane? Your company sucks without you. Though Tazz is pretty cool. *1/2
CHRIS JERICHO vs. CHYNA vs. HARDCORE HOLLY: I picked Hardcore, being that Jericho and Chyna were in the IC title storyline for way too long and have made the title boring. Jericho is funny when he talks. Before the match Chyna told Jericho he has to be, “Chivalrous.” Jericho laughs, “Chivalrous? We aren’t in medieval times.” The funniest thing I’ve heard so far this year. That guy is great. Though his storyline with Chyna is so old. Give him a new opponent. He hasn’t been the same ever since The Fink left him. *1/2
BB, MAE YOUNG, JACKIE, TERRI, IVORY, MS. KITTY: This was a swimsuit competition, and yes, Mae Young showed everyone her tits. It was the furthest the WWF has ever gone and I seriously doubt they will ever go any further. Sick. Disgusting. Twisted. What the hell is Vince McMahon thinking? And what was up with the censored bar on the screen? It didn’t even censor the horrors of…Mae Young. I wish they had just cut to black. Horrible. Horrible. Terri looked hotter than she’s ever looked, though. Man. To think Golddust was banging her. Man. What the hell did he do to leave that slice? I don’t know if I should rate this. Though it’s something that will unfortunately never be forgotten. At least there were three hot chicks. Where’s Sable when you need her, though? **1/2
+TAZZ vs. KURT ANGLE: The only match of the night I predicted correctly. Talk about a jip. Tazz’s entrance was awesome. Orange flashing lights. Pounding music. He walks out with his towel over his head. He’s a tough a-hole but whether or not he can pull it off in the big league is beyond me. I think he’s got enough to do it. His storyline with Angle is interesting. He choked out Angle and Angle says his win streak is not in jeopardy because the choke was illegal. Whatever. Great way to start off the ppv and Tazz looked sharp. Too bad he had to give Angle the tazzplex on the mat instead of through a table like in his ECW days. **1/2
THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE ACOLYTES: I mentioned The Acolytes always win. Apparently they don’t. This match was maybe three minutes long and three minutes too long. ½* only because Bradshaw gave Ass a sweet looking clothesline from hell that flipped him.
THE HARDY BOYZ vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ: The best match of the night ended up being the table match between my two favorite tag teams in all of wrestling. Finally…the Rock has come back to…wait a minute. Finally the Dudley Boyz are becoming ‘hardcore’. When they started in the WWF they were just a basic kicks-and-punches tag team, but now they’re table smashing mother fuckers and the fans (at least I am) are eating it all up. Buh Buh Ray started off the match by calling John Rocker (the Braves b-ball player that publicly stated he hated New York because of all the immigrants) a “hero”. There were some sweet table bumps by every member of the team, but the best one was Jeff Hardy’s senton bomb off the entranceway onto D-Von. As the Hardy’s celebrated their win, the Dudley’s lay in the entrance on smashed tables looking like they’d been in a tornado. Buh-Buh and D-Von grabbed eachother’s fingers in a half-handshake as they lay on the debris. It was a touching moment. They did it. They had to go through a lot of pain and a lot of heartbreak but it was over and they survived and they were in the big leagues in the WWF in MSG with fans chanting their match. It was a truly touching moment. Just them two saying we did it. Wow. What a fucking match. ***1/2
So there it is. The 2000 Royal Rumble will never be forgotten…whether it be for the brutal Cactus Jack match, the Dudley/Hardy high flying hardcore table bout, or the ninety year old hag flashing the crowd. It was an okay ppv…simply because the actual Rumble sucked big time. It was way too obvious for The Crock to win. I give the ppv **1/2 only because of the two hardcore matches and the intro of Tazz. It was definitely a ‘big’ ppv, in fact so ‘big’ that they decided to have nothing happen at the Philly Raw. I was sincerely glad I didn’t go. I expected Tazz to talk, and Vince or Shane to show up. It was a lame Raw, though Nitro wasn’t really any better either, though Funk’s moonsault off the top rope was pretty funny, and with Sid the champ at least it’s not Hogan. Though I am sad to admit I miss the old guy.
I predicted a meager 1 match out of 7 which is a horrible record setting 14.29%. There is no way in hell I’ll ever predict lower. The only way would be for me to watch a ppv and not predict one match. Hell, at least the Rumble surprised me…though not with The Rock. I just figured he wouldn’t win because it was too obvious. Oh well.
The next ppv up is Superbrawl 2000. If you will remember it was last year’s Superbrawl that was the first wreslting ppv I watched on my box and the first ppv I rated and reviewed. Last year’s wasn’t too great, and don’t expect fireworks from this one. So far it’s Sid taking on Hart, Funk and Ric Flair vs. Scott Hall & Nash, JJ vs. Kidman, and Fit Finlay vs. Knobbs. As of now Benoit and Saturn are officially out of WCW, and supposedly them and Malenko and Douglas are signing with the WWF and will probably show up in February. Chris Benoit at Wrestlemania. I never thought I’d see it. Maybe he’ll go fight Tazz. That’d be a wild match. Anyway, my time here is done, and my oh-so interesting Superbrawl 2000 (it’s really Superbrawl X, as if you cared) predictions won’t be out until around February 17th…which is 3 and ½ weeks away. 23 looong days. Hell, I can cope. So it goes. Until then.
Sunday, January 16, 2000
WCW’s SOULED OUT
from Cincinatti, Ohio
There is an epic story to tell about Dubbya-See-Dubbya, but I’ll try to compact it as short as possible. Vince Russo was named the head booker of WCW, the so-called ‘Creative Director’ back in October. As of Friday, January 14th, Russo was demoted from the rank and Kevin ‘Taskmaster’ Sullivan was put in charge as the head booker. Russo was offered a writing job, but as of now he may just take his contract money and leave. Because a lot of wrestlers hate Sullivan. Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Konnan, Shane Douglas, Saturn, Rey Mysterio Jr., and Eddie Guerrero all wanted to leave the company. WCW offered them an out on their contracts effective Feb. 1st. Right now neither man has officially taken their release, though the bottom line is that WCW is in turmoil. Yes, I enjoyed Vince Russo’s Crash-TV style which is too focused on backstage antics instead of actual wrestling, but it was getting old fast, and Starrcade absolutely sucked…which supposedly showcased his true booking style. Nitro and Thunder were pretty good and Souled Out was okay, but I think it’s a relief to get away from Russo’s Crash-TV. He had some entertaining ideas and I think he deserved at least three more months as Creative Director, but he’s gone and he probably ain’t coming back.
And can you believe that throughout all of this chaos, they had a ppv to put on? Add this to the fact that Jeff Jarrett and Bret Hart were respectively to be in 4 ppv matches and they were injured. Did I mention The Wall faced Kidman in a Hell in the Cell match? Okay, so it was pretty interesting to say the least.
+KIDMAN vs. DEAN MALENKO: To lose this match you have to be thrown out of the ring and touch the ground. Well Dean Malenko apparently forget these rules and slipped under the ropes for a breather and it was called a win for Kidman. In my humbly sober oppinion, Malenko did this to piss of management because he’s one of the elusive seven that want to leave WCW. This match was about two minutes long and it gets a goose egg. -0 stars-
VAMPIRO vs. CROWBAR vs. DAVID FLAIR: One of the first things WCW did was to strip Flair and Crowbar of the tag titles. This was a three way dance and pretty wild. Crowbar (who was previously known as Devon Storm on Saturday Night) is a high flying maniac, and he’s extremely entertaining. Vampiro is a decent wrestler, and at David Flair is funny. **1/2
HARRIS BOYS vs. THE MAMALUCS (JOHNNY THE BULL & BIG VITO): Kevin Sullivan and the new booking team are now calling the new tag team of Bull & Vito…The Mamalucs. I like these guys. They were known as ‘Da Baldies’ in ECW only four months ago, and Vito has a killer tornado ddt finisher that’s wild. I like these new tag champs. This match was pretty lame, because the Harris Boys aren’t even the Harris Boys anymore. They back to being suit dressing bodyguards.
OKLAHOMA vs. MADUSA: Why Madusa is even in WCW anymore is beyond me. At least Russo gave her a few plotlines, even though this one is a Jeff Jarrett rip-off from his days in Stamford. Nothing special. *
NORMAL SMILEY vs. BRIAN KNOBBS vs. FIT FINLAY vs. MENG: A sub-par hardcore bout, mostly because it wasn’t really hardcore and Smiley was a helluva lot funnier on Thunder when he dismantled Three Count and said he breathed, “Hardcore air,” and ate, “Hardcore food.” **
+KIDMAN vs. SATURN: The original plan was for Benoit to face JJ in three matches. Benoit got elevated to the title match because JJ and Bret Hart were injured. They stuck Kidman in this triple threat theater. This was the best of the three, with Kidman taking a decent bump over the top rope through a table. Kidman is the only ‘filthy animal’ to definitely agree to stay with WCW. Smart move. He’s almost guaranteed another Cruiserweight reign. **
+BOOKER T. vs. STEVIE RAY: This brother vs. brother match was boring. A big brick shithouse black man known as Big T. came in at the end to help Stevie Ray. Russo really pumped up this Midnight-Harlem Heat plot even though it completely sucked. I’ve never liked HH and am never going to start. *
+TANK ABBOT vs. JERRY FLYNN: One of the funnier aspects about the demotion of Russo was his ideas about this ppv. He conceived an idea to have all the winners of the ppv fight in a battle royal which would be a main event. Whomever won would get the title. Well his original idea was for Tank Abbot to win the title on a fluke. Because of this idea some say Russo was fired because he got into a fight with one of the WCW exectuvies that he was the Creative Director and he could do ‘whatever he wanted’. One punch and Flynn was out. Remember how Russo pumped up ‘The Block’ with Jerry Flynn? Proof that everything Russo touched did not turn to gold. *1/2
+BUFF BAGWELL vs. DDP: I know it sounds corny and stupid, but DDP does deliver the goods at the ppv’s and always pushes the limit. On Nitro and Thunder he’s just okay, but on the ppv’s he always exerts himself and pulls out no stops. Remember his strap match with Ric Flair at Halloween Havoc? That almost stole the show. This was a Last Man Standing Match. Buff put DDP through the internet table and DDP smashed Buff’s face with a computer. Great match. ***
KIDMAN vs. THE WALL: Russo stole a lot of things from the WWF, and his final steal was the awesome ‘Hell in the Cell’ matchup. Basically it’s a cage with a roof that covers the ring and the apron. In WCW they call it the ‘Caged Heat’ matchup, but I’ll still refer to it as a HITC. Shaun Michaels vs. The Undertaker was the first ever HITC match. The second made history when Mankind almost got himself killed when he lost to the ‘Taker. Of course this year we had the third HITC matchup with Bossman being hung against the ‘Taker. Kidman vs. The Wall was horrible. If you have the whole fucking cage there you might as well walk across it or fall off it climbing up. This was disappointment, though I seriously doubted anyone would take a major bump anyway. The Wall wins…what??? *1/2
+NASH vs. TERRY FUNK: Funk is the hardcore king. I knew when he became the commissioner that if only one good thing comes out of it, he’ll at least have one good match while he’s in WCW. This match was short and tooooo sweet. Funk got hit over the head with a few chair shots, got powerbombed through the announce table, and then got powerbombed over three chairs in the ring while bleeding like a stuck pig. He bled so much that WCW actually filmed the match from further away than they had been all night just because it was TV-PG and they couldn’t have any closeups. Funk is 54 years old and takes more bumps that 99.9% of any wrestler out there. He’ll live on as a king. This might be his last reign, but I’m sure he’ll show up down the road. ***
CHRIS BENOIT vs. SID: Benoit won, but it was revealed on Thunder and Nitro that Sid’s foot was under the ropes so Benoit didn’t win. Technically, Benoit is leaving the company so it was impossible for him to keep the title. On Thunder it was put into stone that Sid will face Nash on next week’s Nitro. Of course Sid has to beat JJ first. Reminds me of how Goldberg had to beat Scott Hall before he could face Hogan for the belt? If I do remember correctly, Goldberg beat both of ‘em and won the title. I guran-damn-tee that Sid is your new WCW World Heavyweight Champion come next Monday. As for this match, it was marginal, but Sid can only do one thing in a match that’s exciting and that’s powerbomb you, though at Halloween Havoc he bled like a stuck boar and showed a different side of himself. Who knows. **
Nitro and Thunder were good shows, which proves that Kevin Sullivan as the head booker isn’t hurting anybody. If Benoit, Malenko, Saturn, Doulgas, Konnan, Guerro, and Mysterio leave, that in all honestly I could give a fuck and WCW will still carry on. I liked Mysterio with a mask on but now he literally blows. I like Shane Douglas but he’s hurt and hasn’t wrestled in months. Benoit is old and I’m sick of him. He has no personality. Good riddance. WCW needs to cut corners, and getting rid of these lame wrestlers is okay by me. Sid as the champ? Sullivan as booker? I can live with that.
Souled Out 2000 gets ** because it had three good matches (DDP/Buff, Funk/Nash, Crowbar/Vampiro/Flair) and entertained. I predicted 7 out of 12 matches which is 58.3%, an F. Only surprise was The Wall really. Next up is Superbrawl X…or as they’re calling it…Superbrawl 2000. It’ll be Sid verse someone, and by that time Goldberg, Sting, Ric Flair, and Hogan should be back, so it’ll probably be Sid vs. Sting or Sid vs. Goldberg. In three days is WWF’s annual Royal Rumble from the prestigious Madison Square Garden. Cactus Jack vs. Triple H, Chyna vs. Jericho vs. Holly, Dudley’s vs. Hardy’s Table Match, a four way women’s battle royal, and of course the 30-man rumble. It has an excellent card, and with my luck Tazz, Undertaker, and Vince McMahon will show up. Until then.
There is an epic story to tell about Dubbya-See-Dubbya, but I’ll try to compact it as short as possible. Vince Russo was named the head booker of WCW, the so-called ‘Creative Director’ back in October. As of Friday, January 14th, Russo was demoted from the rank and Kevin ‘Taskmaster’ Sullivan was put in charge as the head booker. Russo was offered a writing job, but as of now he may just take his contract money and leave. Because a lot of wrestlers hate Sullivan. Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Konnan, Shane Douglas, Saturn, Rey Mysterio Jr., and Eddie Guerrero all wanted to leave the company. WCW offered them an out on their contracts effective Feb. 1st. Right now neither man has officially taken their release, though the bottom line is that WCW is in turmoil. Yes, I enjoyed Vince Russo’s Crash-TV style which is too focused on backstage antics instead of actual wrestling, but it was getting old fast, and Starrcade absolutely sucked…which supposedly showcased his true booking style. Nitro and Thunder were pretty good and Souled Out was okay, but I think it’s a relief to get away from Russo’s Crash-TV. He had some entertaining ideas and I think he deserved at least three more months as Creative Director, but he’s gone and he probably ain’t coming back.
And can you believe that throughout all of this chaos, they had a ppv to put on? Add this to the fact that Jeff Jarrett and Bret Hart were respectively to be in 4 ppv matches and they were injured. Did I mention The Wall faced Kidman in a Hell in the Cell match? Okay, so it was pretty interesting to say the least.
+KIDMAN vs. DEAN MALENKO: To lose this match you have to be thrown out of the ring and touch the ground. Well Dean Malenko apparently forget these rules and slipped under the ropes for a breather and it was called a win for Kidman. In my humbly sober oppinion, Malenko did this to piss of management because he’s one of the elusive seven that want to leave WCW. This match was about two minutes long and it gets a goose egg. -0 stars-
VAMPIRO vs. CROWBAR vs. DAVID FLAIR: One of the first things WCW did was to strip Flair and Crowbar of the tag titles. This was a three way dance and pretty wild. Crowbar (who was previously known as Devon Storm on Saturday Night) is a high flying maniac, and he’s extremely entertaining. Vampiro is a decent wrestler, and at David Flair is funny. **1/2
HARRIS BOYS vs. THE MAMALUCS (JOHNNY THE BULL & BIG VITO): Kevin Sullivan and the new booking team are now calling the new tag team of Bull & Vito…The Mamalucs. I like these guys. They were known as ‘Da Baldies’ in ECW only four months ago, and Vito has a killer tornado ddt finisher that’s wild. I like these new tag champs. This match was pretty lame, because the Harris Boys aren’t even the Harris Boys anymore. They back to being suit dressing bodyguards.
OKLAHOMA vs. MADUSA: Why Madusa is even in WCW anymore is beyond me. At least Russo gave her a few plotlines, even though this one is a Jeff Jarrett rip-off from his days in Stamford. Nothing special. *
NORMAL SMILEY vs. BRIAN KNOBBS vs. FIT FINLAY vs. MENG: A sub-par hardcore bout, mostly because it wasn’t really hardcore and Smiley was a helluva lot funnier on Thunder when he dismantled Three Count and said he breathed, “Hardcore air,” and ate, “Hardcore food.” **
+KIDMAN vs. SATURN: The original plan was for Benoit to face JJ in three matches. Benoit got elevated to the title match because JJ and Bret Hart were injured. They stuck Kidman in this triple threat theater. This was the best of the three, with Kidman taking a decent bump over the top rope through a table. Kidman is the only ‘filthy animal’ to definitely agree to stay with WCW. Smart move. He’s almost guaranteed another Cruiserweight reign. **
+BOOKER T. vs. STEVIE RAY: This brother vs. brother match was boring. A big brick shithouse black man known as Big T. came in at the end to help Stevie Ray. Russo really pumped up this Midnight-Harlem Heat plot even though it completely sucked. I’ve never liked HH and am never going to start. *
+TANK ABBOT vs. JERRY FLYNN: One of the funnier aspects about the demotion of Russo was his ideas about this ppv. He conceived an idea to have all the winners of the ppv fight in a battle royal which would be a main event. Whomever won would get the title. Well his original idea was for Tank Abbot to win the title on a fluke. Because of this idea some say Russo was fired because he got into a fight with one of the WCW exectuvies that he was the Creative Director and he could do ‘whatever he wanted’. One punch and Flynn was out. Remember how Russo pumped up ‘The Block’ with Jerry Flynn? Proof that everything Russo touched did not turn to gold. *1/2
+BUFF BAGWELL vs. DDP: I know it sounds corny and stupid, but DDP does deliver the goods at the ppv’s and always pushes the limit. On Nitro and Thunder he’s just okay, but on the ppv’s he always exerts himself and pulls out no stops. Remember his strap match with Ric Flair at Halloween Havoc? That almost stole the show. This was a Last Man Standing Match. Buff put DDP through the internet table and DDP smashed Buff’s face with a computer. Great match. ***
KIDMAN vs. THE WALL: Russo stole a lot of things from the WWF, and his final steal was the awesome ‘Hell in the Cell’ matchup. Basically it’s a cage with a roof that covers the ring and the apron. In WCW they call it the ‘Caged Heat’ matchup, but I’ll still refer to it as a HITC. Shaun Michaels vs. The Undertaker was the first ever HITC match. The second made history when Mankind almost got himself killed when he lost to the ‘Taker. Of course this year we had the third HITC matchup with Bossman being hung against the ‘Taker. Kidman vs. The Wall was horrible. If you have the whole fucking cage there you might as well walk across it or fall off it climbing up. This was disappointment, though I seriously doubted anyone would take a major bump anyway. The Wall wins…what??? *1/2
+NASH vs. TERRY FUNK: Funk is the hardcore king. I knew when he became the commissioner that if only one good thing comes out of it, he’ll at least have one good match while he’s in WCW. This match was short and tooooo sweet. Funk got hit over the head with a few chair shots, got powerbombed through the announce table, and then got powerbombed over three chairs in the ring while bleeding like a stuck pig. He bled so much that WCW actually filmed the match from further away than they had been all night just because it was TV-PG and they couldn’t have any closeups. Funk is 54 years old and takes more bumps that 99.9% of any wrestler out there. He’ll live on as a king. This might be his last reign, but I’m sure he’ll show up down the road. ***
CHRIS BENOIT vs. SID: Benoit won, but it was revealed on Thunder and Nitro that Sid’s foot was under the ropes so Benoit didn’t win. Technically, Benoit is leaving the company so it was impossible for him to keep the title. On Thunder it was put into stone that Sid will face Nash on next week’s Nitro. Of course Sid has to beat JJ first. Reminds me of how Goldberg had to beat Scott Hall before he could face Hogan for the belt? If I do remember correctly, Goldberg beat both of ‘em and won the title. I guran-damn-tee that Sid is your new WCW World Heavyweight Champion come next Monday. As for this match, it was marginal, but Sid can only do one thing in a match that’s exciting and that’s powerbomb you, though at Halloween Havoc he bled like a stuck boar and showed a different side of himself. Who knows. **
Nitro and Thunder were good shows, which proves that Kevin Sullivan as the head booker isn’t hurting anybody. If Benoit, Malenko, Saturn, Doulgas, Konnan, Guerro, and Mysterio leave, that in all honestly I could give a fuck and WCW will still carry on. I liked Mysterio with a mask on but now he literally blows. I like Shane Douglas but he’s hurt and hasn’t wrestled in months. Benoit is old and I’m sick of him. He has no personality. Good riddance. WCW needs to cut corners, and getting rid of these lame wrestlers is okay by me. Sid as the champ? Sullivan as booker? I can live with that.
Souled Out 2000 gets ** because it had three good matches (DDP/Buff, Funk/Nash, Crowbar/Vampiro/Flair) and entertained. I predicted 7 out of 12 matches which is 58.3%, an F. Only surprise was The Wall really. Next up is Superbrawl X…or as they’re calling it…Superbrawl 2000. It’ll be Sid verse someone, and by that time Goldberg, Sting, Ric Flair, and Hogan should be back, so it’ll probably be Sid vs. Sting or Sid vs. Goldberg. In three days is WWF’s annual Royal Rumble from the prestigious Madison Square Garden. Cactus Jack vs. Triple H, Chyna vs. Jericho vs. Holly, Dudley’s vs. Hardy’s Table Match, a four way women’s battle royal, and of course the 30-man rumble. It has an excellent card, and with my luck Tazz, Undertaker, and Vince McMahon will show up. Until then.
Sunday, January 9, 2000
ECW’s GUILTY AS CHARGED
It’s Thursday already, but I knew I had to write a re-cap on the first ppv of 2000, the 21st century. ECW showed up with one of the best cards ever. Yes, that’s right…ever. Sandman vs. Rhino, Sabu vs. Rob VanDamme, Dreamer & Raven vs. Impact Players, New Jack vs. Angel, and Spike Dudley vs. Mike Awesome. Sandman had family responsibilities and bowed out, leaving a bad taste in our mouths before the pay per view ever started. It was a good ppv, although not a great one, not as good as it could have been. The match of the night was Sabu and Rob VanDamme, though Little Spike Dudley proved that he’s a natural candidate for hardcore wrestler of January. He got his little ass kicked and kept on coming.
MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. ‘THE ENFORCER’ C.W. ANDERSON: Yes, ECW has crappy matches on their ppv’s that they don’t promote too, though they don’t end up as bad as Whipwreck/Scotty Riggs (from Spring Stampede…if you don’t remember than you probably did see it). Whipwreck is a great wrestler, he proved this in WCW once when he took on Kidman at Uncensored. Anderson? He’s about as respectable as WCW’s Jerry Flynn. This was a short and sweet matchup and the two did enough cool moves to garner a decent **1/2 affair.
+SIMON DIAMOND, ‘DASTARDLY’ DANNY DORING, & ROADKILL vs.
NOVA, KID KASH, JAZZ, & -eventually- CHRIS CHETTI: This was more made a nine man tag team extravaganza just to get all the jobbers in the locker room a prime time shot. Though realistically, these guys are far from jobbers…except for Jazz and that Kid Rock wannabe. Chetti, Doring, and Diamond are top notch performers, and this was an exciting match nontheless, though these guys are more towards ‘cool moves’ than bloodbaths which the fans support. I’m really curious what Sandman had planned for his matchup. I haven’t seen him in a one-on-one pay per view matchup since June’s match against Knobbs. I guess I have to wait til fucking March. Thanks SM. **1/2
LITTLE GUIDO & JERRY ‘THE NEW FUCKING SHOW’ LYNN vs. SUPER CRAZY & TAJIRI: This was a pretty exciting matchup even though I don’t exactly like anyone in it. Lynn is pretty interesting, and Super Crazy’s audience moonsault was impressive. Same old high flying shiznit. **1/2
ANGEL vs. NEW JACK: I realized that New Jack’s only interesting aspect is jumping from high places. He never even attempts one ‘real’ move inside the ring. He’ll hit you with a guitar, a vaccum, and a Stop sign, but won’t do any damage until he jumps from the rafters onto your sorry ass on a table. New Jack did another impressive jump, but it wasn’t on Angel, it was on one of da Baldies. He also used a cheese grater on Angel and stapled the third baldie’s skull. Decent hardcore stuff, but it was really too short to be anything awesome. **1/2
ROB VAN DAM vs. SABU: Arguably the match of the night, these two warriors fought for twenty minutes beating the living shit out of eachother, though Sabu took a lot more chances than Van Dam. Sabu has been getting his ass kicked all of ’99 and so far all of 2000, will you guys let him win for once!!! ***
+JUSTIN CREDIBLE & LANCE STORM vs. RAVEN & DREAMER: One of the more obvious wins of the night, the so-called ‘Impact Players’ took the tag titles off the unlikely pair of Raven and Tommy Dreamer, the ‘Innovator of Violence’, though he hasn’t been an innovator of violence since about ’97. Raven didn’t do anything exciting, and Lance Storm and Justin aren’t really the two best hotshots, though the crowd was really into this one and it went all over the building and it was sort of interesting. It had a catfight, too. I really missed Sandman. Hopefully they’ll pump up a Raven/Sandman feud for the next ppv because those guys are great when they get in the ring. **1/2
+MIKE AWESOME vs. L’IL SPIKE DUDLEY: A great main event, which is such a change because there hasn’t been a good main event since…King of the Ring? Shit. Dudley showed up and took the mic, which he never does, and he tells Awesome (who recently turned heel) that Awesome’s move his putting his opponent’s through a table, well his whole life he’s been put through tables. He set up a table on each side of the ring before the bout, and stacked two on top of eachother on one side. Five tables were broken, and I believe Spike went through all of them, though he did DDT Awesome through one from the top rope which had to be seen to be believed. You know it’s a great match when you can’t really explain it but it has to be ‘seen…to…be…believed’. Dudley is definitley one of the true hardcore icons out there, and Awesome always entertains and puts it all on the line. What a great main event. ***
It wasn’t the best ECW pay per view, though it was a good one, and a lot better than the marginally lame November to Remember. **1/2 stars it receives, though it is already the number one ppv on my exclusive Bob list. Sabu/Damme and Dudley/Awesome were just plain great fights, and the other highlight included New Jack’s awesome jump. I predicted 3 matches out of 7, which is a record low at 42.86%…an F-. This is the first ECW ppv I’ve reviewed, and it’s downright obvious they blow the big two out of the water, though ECW is special of sorts because the guys don’t really care much about being hurt and losing the spotlight because Pauly is a down to Earth guy who just happens to say “fuck” a lot. In a meager three days is WCW’s Souled Out, and surprisingly it has a great card, though Ferrara and Russo are infamous for pumping the shit out of a ppv and having a special delivery of nothing. Nash vs. Terry Funk in a hardcore commisioner bout is the obvious looking-forward-to matchup, but the others of interest are Sid/Bret Hart for the belt, Smiley-Knobbs-Finlay-Meng for the hardcore strap, Madusa/Oklahoma for the cruiserweight belt, and Benoit/JJ in a triple threat theater which includes a no-rope dungeon match, a cage match, and a bunkhouse brawal. Should be at least marginally interesting. And of course in ten days we’ve got Cactus Jack ‘bang-bang’ taking on HHH for the wwf belt in Madison Square Garden. Until then.
Friday, December 31, 1999
< 1999 YEAR END AWARDS >
The year in wrestling has come to a close. WCW started with Kevin Nash laying down for ‘Hollywood’ Hogan and the Wolfpac and Black & White combining forces for a brand new N.W.O. WCW ended ’99 with a new silver and black N.W.O. with new members Jeff Jarrett and Bret Hart. WWF kicked off 1999 with Mankind as champ and ended with The Big Show as champ. Vince McMahon eventually became good again and Stephanie turned bad. ECW kicked off ’99 with The Franchise as champ and ended with Mike Awesome reigning supreme. We saw Taz and The Dudley Boyz leave to go to Stamford, Connecticut.
It was a momentous year for wrestling, albeit a harrowful one with the deaths of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, and Gorilla Monsoon. But there were triumphs. RAW set a ratings record with an 8.1 one night. Stone Cold regained the title in Philly at Wrestlemania. The WWF’s writers stormed away and hopped aboard the newly revamped WCW. Nitro is back to 2 hours this week and Thunder moves to Wednesdays shortly. Things are changing. ECW premiered nationally on TNN and New Jack was found not-guilty in a wrasslin’ related case against an overweight bleeder.
It was a great year for wrestling, and here are my picks for the best of the year. From hardcore king to best champ to best ppv to best federation. Enjoy:
Best Pay Per View: ECW’s HARDCORE HEAVEN (May)
ECW always puts out the best pay per vews, and arguably HH takes the cake as the best. The main event consisted of a two disgusting bloody heaps beating the shit out of eachother in a match that went in and out of the building. Taz and Buh Buh Ray Dudley didn’t pull out any spectacular moves, but the pouring blood made this one of the most memorable matches. Don’t expect Taz to bleed that much in the WWF. The other memorable matches include the pinnacle of the Jerry Lynn/ Rob Van Damme feud, which included the horrible bump Lynn took when his face hit the hard concrete after spiraling over the top rope. This pay per view also showcased a hardcore bout between Dreamer and Lance Storm, and don’t forget Sabu leg dropping Sid through a table after Sid powerbombed this shit out of the Impact Players. As a whole, this pay per view rocked.
Worst Pay Per View: WCW’s STARRCADE (December)
Talk about a disaster. This is supposed to be the biggest pay per view of the year for World Championship Wrestling. It’s WCW’s Wrestlemania. This year Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara booked the show and proved that they are idiots. Russo was quoted as saying that his booking style is showcased the best at Starrcade. The horrible matches included Evan Kourageous taking on Medusa, Sting boring us against Luger, Dustin Rhodes putting us to sleep against Jarrett in a ‘Bunkhouse Brawl’, Booker T and Midnight against Creative Control and Henig, David Flair verse DDP, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Varsity Club verse the Revolution. The main event was Bret Hart pitted against Goldberg, which would have been awesome…but they cut the match off at around six minutes to screw Goldberg out of the title in an ode to the Surivor Series ’97 screwjob. The only thing WCW did was screw the fans out of their thirty bones.
Best Announcer: ECW’s JOEY STYLES
As Bill Alfonoso so dramatically displays when he enters the ring, Joey Styles calls it, “Right down the middle.” He’s unbiased, and he is just plain awesome. His catchphrase, “Oh my God!” defines ECW so damn well. He hosts the ECW Hardcore TV show himself, and proves that no announcer can outwit him or outsell a match more than he can. He puts excitement into matches that would be snoozers in WCW or WWF. He is the epitome of a great announcer.
Best Hardcore Wrestler: WWF’s MANKIND
This year Mankind didn’t fall off a cage twice or have his ear ripped off, but all in all he took the most chances and most bumps in his supposed last full wrestling year. While ECW’s Balls Mahoney did take numerous bumps through flaming thumbtack strewn tables, Mankind took hard hits in almost every match he was in this year, while Mahoney was known for that and that alone. Mankind was hit over the head with a steel chair fourteen times at January’s Royal Rumble I-Quit Match with The Rock. He fell roughly seven feet off a ladder onto a power supply box that sparked and shut the lights down. In February The Rock beat his candy ass all over the arena in the Last Man Standing Match. The roughest bump was when his head hit the side of the announce table and snapped back. In March he was chokeslammed from a ladder onto two tables and glass in a Boiler Room Brawl with Big Show. And in September he was thrown from the Smackdown set about twenty feet to the hard earth of the Buried Alive set. He held the WWF Championship three times this year, but it was soley through his hardcore addiction that he became the fan favorite. In his last full year of wrasslin’, he proved that Mick Foley is, and always will be…hardcore.
Best Champion: ECW’s ROB VAN DAM
He beat Bam Bam Bigelow for the ECW TV belt in the Spring of 1998. He has gone into 2000 with it still firmly around his waist. There is a problem though in the future. He faces Sabu at ECW’s Guilty as Charged on January 9th. He is the best champion of the year, and not because he hasn’t lost the belt. He is a great wrestler…period. The only reason he isn’t the wrestler of the year as a lot of internet fools believe is because his personality lacks. His storylines aren’t epic and he hasn’t gotten the mainstream push he deserves. His hi-light matches have been with Jerry ‘The New Fucking Show’ Lynn and this Fall he took on Sabu at the ECW arena which ended in a time limit draw. Forget Goldberg. Van Dam is da man.
Best Heel: ECW/WWF’s BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY
So far in the WWF, the white half of the Dudley Boyz has mostly floundered. Why? He hasn’t gotten enough interview time. Dudley’s cruelness reached it’s zenith in July at ECW’s Heatwave pay per view, where he cursed out the entire crowd, threw a beer at a fan, and taunted the fan to punch him. He then saw a mom and daughter ringside. He made a few lewd remarks about the daughter with her mom standing there helpless. In the match the two went on to put Spike Dudley through a flaming table and Balls Mahoney practically on his head. The Dudley Boyz are a great team, but this year Buh Buh proved without a shadow of a doubt he is the biggest asshole this sport has seen this year. Hopefully in the new millennium the WWF will let Buh Buh truly shine as a bad guy instead of as a backwoods joke like they did in December at the poker game between the Dudleys and The Acolytes. Buh Buh Ray was cheating. He put down his hand and said, “Six aces.”
Funniest Wrestler: WCW’s THE CAT
In the Fall of 1998 The Cat premiered and took the world by storm. Okay, he didn’t exactly make waves, but he took his act into 1999 full throttle and became the funniest wreslter of the year. Yes, Vince McMahon is hilarious, and Steve Corino and Chris Jericho are amusing, but no wrestler this year has consistently been as funny as The Cat. His dancing red shoes. His new James Brown music. His dancing. His cheating. Just the way he would come into the ring and make fun of the people at ringside. He would tell people, “I’m the greatest, nobody can whup me, call my momma!” He told fat women they couldn’t even get over the rail. Lately Russo and Ferrara haven’t been using The Cat, but hopefully in 2000 they’ll bring him and his antics back in style.
Best Group: WWF’s THE MEAN STREET POSSE
Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs make up the funniest and most entertaining group in wrestling these days. Think about it. DX and the N.W.O. are so old and lame. The Corporate Ministry and Corporation were pretty decent, but no other group lasted all year and still brings laughs and a smile to everyone watching. As soon as laid back entrance music hits I know I will be entertained. Their pinnacle hit in August at the WWF’s Summerslam during the Test/Shane O’Mac match. The posse brought a couch, light, and posse portrait to ringside to watch the match. Hilarious. Entertaining. The best group by far.
Best Storyline: WWF- STEPHANIE McMAHON’S WEDDING
Most wrestling fans agree that the best storyline this year was the epic one that led up to Stephanie marrying Triple H and then turning on her father. It was a simple storyline, but it lasted from the Summer until Decmeber, which is epic in scope. Usually wrestling is so fast these days the storylines fly by, but not this. Vince waited and it turned out to be awesome. We got the Test/Shane match at Summerslam, we got the England ppv where Stephanie was injured and had ‘head tramau’ (blunty put: amnesia), we got the Raw is War marriage which turned into a hilarious farce where Triple H had already married Steph the night before in Vegas, and finally we got the Vince/HHH match which ended with Stephanie turning on her father and turning heel. Wow.
Best Feud: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN/ VINCE McMAHON
This feud will probably go down as the best feud in wrestling…period. A lot of entertainment came out of this feud in 1998, but we only saw them in a ring once in 1998 (it was in Philly and Austin had to tie one hand behind his back), but we saw them three times in a ring in 1999. The feud reached a boiling point when Vince McMahon was the first participant in the Royal Rumble. Eventually Austin became number two. After Vince won the Rumble, the two ended up fighting a memorable match in a steel cage on St. Valentine’s Day. Of course Austin won the belt at ‘Mania and Vince got Stone Cold-stunned. They had a ladder match in June at the King of the Ring when Austin was the WWF’s CEO. Things went back and forth, and eventually Vince left his heel persona after the first blood matchup in July. When it was full steam ahead, the feud put the WWF ahead in the ratings and kept them there. Their feud sold the Royal Rumble, King of the Ring, St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and Fully Loaded pay per views. To cap it all off…who can forget the beer truck fiasco?
Best Tag Team: WWF’s THE HARDY BOYZ
The Hardy Boyz were the best tag team this year. Why? Because this year to be a good ‘wrestler’ you had to have good storylines and have good mic skills. The Hardy Boyz proved that they don’t need shit. They are fantastic wrestlers, and that’s the bottom line. This year we saw them hold the tag titles on one occasion, and we saw a terrific tournament with Edge & Christian which ended in the best match of the year at No Mercy. The Hardy Boyz had lousy storylines and didn’t say a single word on TV yet they proved everything with their high flying maneuvers and pure entertainment style. I predict them to take this award next year also.
Best Rookie: WWF’s SHANE McMAHON
Realistically there were only two rookies, Shane O’Mac and ECW’s Rhino, but Shane takes the award with flying colors. He proved his entertainment worth with three pay per view matches that standout this year. He took on X-Pac at Wrestlemania in a brutal and highly entertaining bout. He faced Austin with his dad in a hilarious and truly great ladder match at the King of the Ring. He jumped off a cage and tackled members of the Mean Street Posse which he used to be friends with on Raw is War in the fall, but his shining moment was his match against Test at Summerslam. Not only were the Mean Street Posse’s antics in full force, but Shane proved that it was worth paying money for the ppv with one single move. He put Test on the Spanish announce table and climbed the top rope. With a high flying elbow off the top rope he crashed onto Test and through the table. It was the best moment of the pay per view, and it proved that Shane wanted to entertain, that he wanted to prove his worth. A great start for what surely will be a long haul.
Best TV Show: WWF’s RAW IS WAR
Nitro floundered at three hours, and Smackdown wore out it’s welcome and became stale since it’s never live. ECW is uneven because TNN censors a good majority of the bloodshed, and ECW’s Hardcore TV is now full of B-matches. But there was one show that was always consistent, especially this year when the WWF pulled out no stops and left the WCW in the dust. Raw is War is the WWF’s best program. The show is better than any pay per view they put on. All of the good stuff that happens in the WWF occurs on Raw. The infamous beer truck fiasco, the tribute to Owen Hart, the Rock/Mankind ladder match for the gold, the Greater Power mystery, Stephanie’s botched wedding, Mankind’s firing. All of the big stuff happened there, on Raw is War. It was the show to beat in ’99.
Best Announce Team: ECW’s JOEY STYLES & CYRUS THE VIRUS
The only team to even come close is Monday Nitro’s team consisting of Tony Schiavone, Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan, and Mike Tenay. The problem was they cut Tenay out of the picture for the majority of the year, so the team fell apart. ECW’s Joey Styles is the best announcer of the year, but the only thing to elevate his commentary is the sidekick antics of Cyrus the Virus. He commentates along Styles on the ECW pay per views, and only makes Styles sound better. Their banter and humorous stories and antecdotes are downright entertaining. Cyrus’ commentary on ‘The Office’ at ECW’s November to Remember elevated the average program to a good one. Announcing can’t get better.
Best Moment: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN & THE BEER TRUCK
They seem to still talk about it. The Monday night before Wrestlemania, the Corporation (Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, the Stooges, and The Rock) assembled in the ring and began to mock Austin and hammer the point that he has no chance in hell of winning the title at the ppv. Austin answered this criticism by driving a Coors Light beer truck into the arena and up to the ring. He pulled out a hose and sprayed the Corporation with beer (and even attempted to drink from the hose full of beer himself) and they slipped and fell all over the ring. The crowd went crazy. Austin then stood on top of the truck and downed a few cold cans. It was the shining moment of Raw. No one saw it coming. It was funny, it was great, and it was the best moment of ’99.
Best Matches: #1 WWF- EDGE & CHRISTIAN VS. THE HARDY BOYZ
“LADDER MATCH” NO MERCY
There were a lot of good matches this year, but for my money, the ones that truly stood out where the ones full of hardcore shenanigans. Mankind getting hit over the head fourteen times with a chair is a lot more entertaining that Bret Hart putting Van Hammer in a sharpshooter. At least in my book. The standout matches were Bam Bam verse Hak at Spring Stampede, Mankind vs. The Rock at the Royal Rumble, Test vs. Shane at Summer Slam, and Tanka losing to Mike Awesome at November 2 Remember. But for my money, and most people’s, the best of the year took place at WWF’s October pay per view, No Mercy. It was a horribly boring pay per view, but this match was a true four star affair. Both teams are known for their high flying maneuvers, but the Hardy Boyz truly proved that they are the best talent working today. This was a Mexican Ladder match, meaning there were two ladders in the ring. These four combatants did so many crazy moves off the ladders and off the ropes onto the ladders it was nuts. There were at least fifteen instant replays, which is uncanny. Usually a basic wrestling match has two or three. It is impossible to even put into words how great this match was. It had to be seen to be believed. Epic and awesome.
#2 ECW- Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka November to Remember
#3 WCW- Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow Spring Stampede
#4 WWF- Shane McMahon vs. Test Summer Slam
#5 WWF- Mankind vs. The Rock “I Quit” Royal Rumble
#6 ECW- Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn Hardcore Heaven
#7 ECW- Sabu vs. Tazz Living Dangerously
#8 ECW- Vince & Shane McMahon vs.
‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin “Ladder” King of the Ring
#9 ECW- Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu ECW Arena (Oct ’99)
#10 WWF- Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac Wrestlemania XV
Best Company: THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
1998 and 1999 were the two best years ever for the WWF. They took over the ratings with their explicit but highly exciting Crash-TV programs. They infused hilarious backstage antics, massively hyped main events, and crowd loving interviews from the superstars to prove that the best in the business is under Vincent K. McMahon. The WWF got into the stock market, they brought out Smackdown which single handedly saved the UPN, and they received a record 8.1 rating for Raw is War. They beat WCW every single Monday Night this year, and the proved that losing two top writers DOES…NOT…MATTER. Even though Survivor Series blew and once the writers left the product grew stale for about a month, they regained their lead and capped off on a high note. Even with ‘Stone Cold’ hurt they beat the competition. This year the WWF reigned supreme. It was a momentous year. I truly doubt they will ever be this high again.
Best Wrestler: WCW/ECW’s HARDCORE HAK/ THE SANDMAN
When 1999 started out I didn’t even know who the fucking Sandman was. He showed up in WCW as Hardcore Hak and soon enough I thought he was awesome. He would come out draped in barb wire and call anyone out at any time. He made watching WCW interesting. From March to July he was the best wrestler and entertainer WCW had to offer. His matches at Spring Stampede and Uncensored were classics. He got hurt and was abruptly fired. He showed up one night at the ECW Arena with his classic Metallica tune ‘Enter Sandman’ blaring in the background. The crowd was estatic. It was one of the best moments of the year. As The Sandman, he showed up and took over. His entrance lasts around five minutes as his music blares and he chugs a few cold ones and smokes a cigarette. He became the one to watch in WCW to the one to watch in ECW. He was the most entertaining wrestler of the year. Any match he was in was entertaining and hugely watchable. Whenever you hear his music you smile and sit down and know you will have fun watching. He is by far the best wrestler of the year.
WWF- 11 awards
ECW- 6 awards
WCW- 1 award (take one away for winning worst ppv)
1999 FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP REIGNS:
ECW: The Franchise- Taz- Mike Awesome- Masato Tanaka- Mike Awesome
WWF: Mankind- The Rock- Mankind- The Rock- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- The Undertaker- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- Mankind- Triple H- Vince McMahon- Triple H- The Big Show
WCW: Kevin Nash- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Ric Flair- DDP- Sting- DDP- Kevin Nash- Macho Man- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Sting- Goldberg- Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It was a momentous year for wrestling, albeit a harrowful one with the deaths of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, and Gorilla Monsoon. But there were triumphs. RAW set a ratings record with an 8.1 one night. Stone Cold regained the title in Philly at Wrestlemania. The WWF’s writers stormed away and hopped aboard the newly revamped WCW. Nitro is back to 2 hours this week and Thunder moves to Wednesdays shortly. Things are changing. ECW premiered nationally on TNN and New Jack was found not-guilty in a wrasslin’ related case against an overweight bleeder.
It was a great year for wrestling, and here are my picks for the best of the year. From hardcore king to best champ to best ppv to best federation. Enjoy:
Best Pay Per View: ECW’s HARDCORE HEAVEN (May)
ECW always puts out the best pay per vews, and arguably HH takes the cake as the best. The main event consisted of a two disgusting bloody heaps beating the shit out of eachother in a match that went in and out of the building. Taz and Buh Buh Ray Dudley didn’t pull out any spectacular moves, but the pouring blood made this one of the most memorable matches. Don’t expect Taz to bleed that much in the WWF. The other memorable matches include the pinnacle of the Jerry Lynn/ Rob Van Damme feud, which included the horrible bump Lynn took when his face hit the hard concrete after spiraling over the top rope. This pay per view also showcased a hardcore bout between Dreamer and Lance Storm, and don’t forget Sabu leg dropping Sid through a table after Sid powerbombed this shit out of the Impact Players. As a whole, this pay per view rocked.
Worst Pay Per View: WCW’s STARRCADE (December)
Talk about a disaster. This is supposed to be the biggest pay per view of the year for World Championship Wrestling. It’s WCW’s Wrestlemania. This year Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara booked the show and proved that they are idiots. Russo was quoted as saying that his booking style is showcased the best at Starrcade. The horrible matches included Evan Kourageous taking on Medusa, Sting boring us against Luger, Dustin Rhodes putting us to sleep against Jarrett in a ‘Bunkhouse Brawl’, Booker T and Midnight against Creative Control and Henig, David Flair verse DDP, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Varsity Club verse the Revolution. The main event was Bret Hart pitted against Goldberg, which would have been awesome…but they cut the match off at around six minutes to screw Goldberg out of the title in an ode to the Surivor Series ’97 screwjob. The only thing WCW did was screw the fans out of their thirty bones.
Best Announcer: ECW’s JOEY STYLES
As Bill Alfonoso so dramatically displays when he enters the ring, Joey Styles calls it, “Right down the middle.” He’s unbiased, and he is just plain awesome. His catchphrase, “Oh my God!” defines ECW so damn well. He hosts the ECW Hardcore TV show himself, and proves that no announcer can outwit him or outsell a match more than he can. He puts excitement into matches that would be snoozers in WCW or WWF. He is the epitome of a great announcer.
Best Hardcore Wrestler: WWF’s MANKIND
This year Mankind didn’t fall off a cage twice or have his ear ripped off, but all in all he took the most chances and most bumps in his supposed last full wrestling year. While ECW’s Balls Mahoney did take numerous bumps through flaming thumbtack strewn tables, Mankind took hard hits in almost every match he was in this year, while Mahoney was known for that and that alone. Mankind was hit over the head with a steel chair fourteen times at January’s Royal Rumble I-Quit Match with The Rock. He fell roughly seven feet off a ladder onto a power supply box that sparked and shut the lights down. In February The Rock beat his candy ass all over the arena in the Last Man Standing Match. The roughest bump was when his head hit the side of the announce table and snapped back. In March he was chokeslammed from a ladder onto two tables and glass in a Boiler Room Brawl with Big Show. And in September he was thrown from the Smackdown set about twenty feet to the hard earth of the Buried Alive set. He held the WWF Championship three times this year, but it was soley through his hardcore addiction that he became the fan favorite. In his last full year of wrasslin’, he proved that Mick Foley is, and always will be…hardcore.
Best Champion: ECW’s ROB VAN DAM
He beat Bam Bam Bigelow for the ECW TV belt in the Spring of 1998. He has gone into 2000 with it still firmly around his waist. There is a problem though in the future. He faces Sabu at ECW’s Guilty as Charged on January 9th. He is the best champion of the year, and not because he hasn’t lost the belt. He is a great wrestler…period. The only reason he isn’t the wrestler of the year as a lot of internet fools believe is because his personality lacks. His storylines aren’t epic and he hasn’t gotten the mainstream push he deserves. His hi-light matches have been with Jerry ‘The New Fucking Show’ Lynn and this Fall he took on Sabu at the ECW arena which ended in a time limit draw. Forget Goldberg. Van Dam is da man.
Best Heel: ECW/WWF’s BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY
So far in the WWF, the white half of the Dudley Boyz has mostly floundered. Why? He hasn’t gotten enough interview time. Dudley’s cruelness reached it’s zenith in July at ECW’s Heatwave pay per view, where he cursed out the entire crowd, threw a beer at a fan, and taunted the fan to punch him. He then saw a mom and daughter ringside. He made a few lewd remarks about the daughter with her mom standing there helpless. In the match the two went on to put Spike Dudley through a flaming table and Balls Mahoney practically on his head. The Dudley Boyz are a great team, but this year Buh Buh proved without a shadow of a doubt he is the biggest asshole this sport has seen this year. Hopefully in the new millennium the WWF will let Buh Buh truly shine as a bad guy instead of as a backwoods joke like they did in December at the poker game between the Dudleys and The Acolytes. Buh Buh Ray was cheating. He put down his hand and said, “Six aces.”
Funniest Wrestler: WCW’s THE CAT
In the Fall of 1998 The Cat premiered and took the world by storm. Okay, he didn’t exactly make waves, but he took his act into 1999 full throttle and became the funniest wreslter of the year. Yes, Vince McMahon is hilarious, and Steve Corino and Chris Jericho are amusing, but no wrestler this year has consistently been as funny as The Cat. His dancing red shoes. His new James Brown music. His dancing. His cheating. Just the way he would come into the ring and make fun of the people at ringside. He would tell people, “I’m the greatest, nobody can whup me, call my momma!” He told fat women they couldn’t even get over the rail. Lately Russo and Ferrara haven’t been using The Cat, but hopefully in 2000 they’ll bring him and his antics back in style.
Best Group: WWF’s THE MEAN STREET POSSE
Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs make up the funniest and most entertaining group in wrestling these days. Think about it. DX and the N.W.O. are so old and lame. The Corporate Ministry and Corporation were pretty decent, but no other group lasted all year and still brings laughs and a smile to everyone watching. As soon as laid back entrance music hits I know I will be entertained. Their pinnacle hit in August at the WWF’s Summerslam during the Test/Shane O’Mac match. The posse brought a couch, light, and posse portrait to ringside to watch the match. Hilarious. Entertaining. The best group by far.
Best Storyline: WWF- STEPHANIE McMAHON’S WEDDING
Most wrestling fans agree that the best storyline this year was the epic one that led up to Stephanie marrying Triple H and then turning on her father. It was a simple storyline, but it lasted from the Summer until Decmeber, which is epic in scope. Usually wrestling is so fast these days the storylines fly by, but not this. Vince waited and it turned out to be awesome. We got the Test/Shane match at Summerslam, we got the England ppv where Stephanie was injured and had ‘head tramau’ (blunty put: amnesia), we got the Raw is War marriage which turned into a hilarious farce where Triple H had already married Steph the night before in Vegas, and finally we got the Vince/HHH match which ended with Stephanie turning on her father and turning heel. Wow.
Best Feud: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN/ VINCE McMAHON
This feud will probably go down as the best feud in wrestling…period. A lot of entertainment came out of this feud in 1998, but we only saw them in a ring once in 1998 (it was in Philly and Austin had to tie one hand behind his back), but we saw them three times in a ring in 1999. The feud reached a boiling point when Vince McMahon was the first participant in the Royal Rumble. Eventually Austin became number two. After Vince won the Rumble, the two ended up fighting a memorable match in a steel cage on St. Valentine’s Day. Of course Austin won the belt at ‘Mania and Vince got Stone Cold-stunned. They had a ladder match in June at the King of the Ring when Austin was the WWF’s CEO. Things went back and forth, and eventually Vince left his heel persona after the first blood matchup in July. When it was full steam ahead, the feud put the WWF ahead in the ratings and kept them there. Their feud sold the Royal Rumble, King of the Ring, St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and Fully Loaded pay per views. To cap it all off…who can forget the beer truck fiasco?
Best Tag Team: WWF’s THE HARDY BOYZ
The Hardy Boyz were the best tag team this year. Why? Because this year to be a good ‘wrestler’ you had to have good storylines and have good mic skills. The Hardy Boyz proved that they don’t need shit. They are fantastic wrestlers, and that’s the bottom line. This year we saw them hold the tag titles on one occasion, and we saw a terrific tournament with Edge & Christian which ended in the best match of the year at No Mercy. The Hardy Boyz had lousy storylines and didn’t say a single word on TV yet they proved everything with their high flying maneuvers and pure entertainment style. I predict them to take this award next year also.
Best Rookie: WWF’s SHANE McMAHON
Realistically there were only two rookies, Shane O’Mac and ECW’s Rhino, but Shane takes the award with flying colors. He proved his entertainment worth with three pay per view matches that standout this year. He took on X-Pac at Wrestlemania in a brutal and highly entertaining bout. He faced Austin with his dad in a hilarious and truly great ladder match at the King of the Ring. He jumped off a cage and tackled members of the Mean Street Posse which he used to be friends with on Raw is War in the fall, but his shining moment was his match against Test at Summerslam. Not only were the Mean Street Posse’s antics in full force, but Shane proved that it was worth paying money for the ppv with one single move. He put Test on the Spanish announce table and climbed the top rope. With a high flying elbow off the top rope he crashed onto Test and through the table. It was the best moment of the pay per view, and it proved that Shane wanted to entertain, that he wanted to prove his worth. A great start for what surely will be a long haul.
Best TV Show: WWF’s RAW IS WAR
Nitro floundered at three hours, and Smackdown wore out it’s welcome and became stale since it’s never live. ECW is uneven because TNN censors a good majority of the bloodshed, and ECW’s Hardcore TV is now full of B-matches. But there was one show that was always consistent, especially this year when the WWF pulled out no stops and left the WCW in the dust. Raw is War is the WWF’s best program. The show is better than any pay per view they put on. All of the good stuff that happens in the WWF occurs on Raw. The infamous beer truck fiasco, the tribute to Owen Hart, the Rock/Mankind ladder match for the gold, the Greater Power mystery, Stephanie’s botched wedding, Mankind’s firing. All of the big stuff happened there, on Raw is War. It was the show to beat in ’99.
Best Announce Team: ECW’s JOEY STYLES & CYRUS THE VIRUS
The only team to even come close is Monday Nitro’s team consisting of Tony Schiavone, Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan, and Mike Tenay. The problem was they cut Tenay out of the picture for the majority of the year, so the team fell apart. ECW’s Joey Styles is the best announcer of the year, but the only thing to elevate his commentary is the sidekick antics of Cyrus the Virus. He commentates along Styles on the ECW pay per views, and only makes Styles sound better. Their banter and humorous stories and antecdotes are downright entertaining. Cyrus’ commentary on ‘The Office’ at ECW’s November to Remember elevated the average program to a good one. Announcing can’t get better.
Best Moment: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN & THE BEER TRUCK
They seem to still talk about it. The Monday night before Wrestlemania, the Corporation (Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, the Stooges, and The Rock) assembled in the ring and began to mock Austin and hammer the point that he has no chance in hell of winning the title at the ppv. Austin answered this criticism by driving a Coors Light beer truck into the arena and up to the ring. He pulled out a hose and sprayed the Corporation with beer (and even attempted to drink from the hose full of beer himself) and they slipped and fell all over the ring. The crowd went crazy. Austin then stood on top of the truck and downed a few cold cans. It was the shining moment of Raw. No one saw it coming. It was funny, it was great, and it was the best moment of ’99.
Best Matches: #1 WWF- EDGE & CHRISTIAN VS. THE HARDY BOYZ
“LADDER MATCH” NO MERCY
There were a lot of good matches this year, but for my money, the ones that truly stood out where the ones full of hardcore shenanigans. Mankind getting hit over the head fourteen times with a chair is a lot more entertaining that Bret Hart putting Van Hammer in a sharpshooter. At least in my book. The standout matches were Bam Bam verse Hak at Spring Stampede, Mankind vs. The Rock at the Royal Rumble, Test vs. Shane at Summer Slam, and Tanka losing to Mike Awesome at November 2 Remember. But for my money, and most people’s, the best of the year took place at WWF’s October pay per view, No Mercy. It was a horribly boring pay per view, but this match was a true four star affair. Both teams are known for their high flying maneuvers, but the Hardy Boyz truly proved that they are the best talent working today. This was a Mexican Ladder match, meaning there were two ladders in the ring. These four combatants did so many crazy moves off the ladders and off the ropes onto the ladders it was nuts. There were at least fifteen instant replays, which is uncanny. Usually a basic wrestling match has two or three. It is impossible to even put into words how great this match was. It had to be seen to be believed. Epic and awesome.
#2 ECW- Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka November to Remember
#3 WCW- Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow Spring Stampede
#4 WWF- Shane McMahon vs. Test Summer Slam
#5 WWF- Mankind vs. The Rock “I Quit” Royal Rumble
#6 ECW- Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn Hardcore Heaven
#7 ECW- Sabu vs. Tazz Living Dangerously
#8 ECW- Vince & Shane McMahon vs.
‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin “Ladder” King of the Ring
#9 ECW- Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu ECW Arena (Oct ’99)
#10 WWF- Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac Wrestlemania XV
Best Company: THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
1998 and 1999 were the two best years ever for the WWF. They took over the ratings with their explicit but highly exciting Crash-TV programs. They infused hilarious backstage antics, massively hyped main events, and crowd loving interviews from the superstars to prove that the best in the business is under Vincent K. McMahon. The WWF got into the stock market, they brought out Smackdown which single handedly saved the UPN, and they received a record 8.1 rating for Raw is War. They beat WCW every single Monday Night this year, and the proved that losing two top writers DOES…NOT…MATTER. Even though Survivor Series blew and once the writers left the product grew stale for about a month, they regained their lead and capped off on a high note. Even with ‘Stone Cold’ hurt they beat the competition. This year the WWF reigned supreme. It was a momentous year. I truly doubt they will ever be this high again.
Best Wrestler: WCW/ECW’s HARDCORE HAK/ THE SANDMAN
When 1999 started out I didn’t even know who the fucking Sandman was. He showed up in WCW as Hardcore Hak and soon enough I thought he was awesome. He would come out draped in barb wire and call anyone out at any time. He made watching WCW interesting. From March to July he was the best wrestler and entertainer WCW had to offer. His matches at Spring Stampede and Uncensored were classics. He got hurt and was abruptly fired. He showed up one night at the ECW Arena with his classic Metallica tune ‘Enter Sandman’ blaring in the background. The crowd was estatic. It was one of the best moments of the year. As The Sandman, he showed up and took over. His entrance lasts around five minutes as his music blares and he chugs a few cold ones and smokes a cigarette. He became the one to watch in WCW to the one to watch in ECW. He was the most entertaining wrestler of the year. Any match he was in was entertaining and hugely watchable. Whenever you hear his music you smile and sit down and know you will have fun watching. He is by far the best wrestler of the year.
WWF- 11 awards
ECW- 6 awards
WCW- 1 award (take one away for winning worst ppv)
1999 FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP REIGNS:
ECW: The Franchise- Taz- Mike Awesome- Masato Tanaka- Mike Awesome
WWF: Mankind- The Rock- Mankind- The Rock- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- The Undertaker- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- Mankind- Triple H- Vince McMahon- Triple H- The Big Show
WCW: Kevin Nash- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Ric Flair- DDP- Sting- DDP- Kevin Nash- Macho Man- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Sting- Goldberg- Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Saturday, December 25, 1999
< YEAR END AWARD NOMINATIONS ‘99 >
Yes, it’s that time again. Okay that was a joke. This is a first. My Year End Wrestling Awards. Who was the best wrestler of the year? The best hardcore wrestler of the year? What was the best match? The best federation? The best piece of ass? Here are the nominees. The winners will be announced in the early days of the year 2000.
Best Wrestler: Best Company:
-Shane McMahon -WWF
-The Rock -ECW
-Hardcore Hak/ The Sandman -WCW
-Mankind -XPW
-Rob Van Dam -CZW
Best Match
-Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz ‘Ladder Match’ from WWF’s No Mercy
-The Rock vs. Mankind ‘I Quit Match’ from WWF’s Royal Rumble
-Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow from WCW’s Spring Stampede
-Shane McMahon vs. Test from WWF’s Summer Slam
-Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka from ECW’s November to Remember
Best Tag Team Best Champion
-The Dudley Boyz -Rob Van Dam
-The Hardy Boyz -Taz
-The Holly’s -‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin
-The Outsiders -Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart
-Raven & Tommy Dreamer -‘Hollywood’ Hogan
Best Feud Best Pay Per View
-Chris Jericho & Ken Shamrock -ECW Living Dangerously
-Rob Van Dam & Jerry Lynn -WWF St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
-Mankind & The Rock -WWF Wrestlemania XV
-‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin & -ECW Anarchy Rulz
Vince McMahon -ECW Hardcore Heaven
-Triple H & Vince McMahon
Best Storyline Best TV Show
-WWF Greater Power -ECW on TNN
-WCW Powers to Be -WWF Raw is War
-WWF Stephanie’s Wedding -WCW Monday Nitro
-WCW Ric Flair as President -WWF Smackdown!
- WWF Big Show’s Father -ECW Hardcore TV
Worst Pay Per View Best Group
-WCW Starrcade -The Corporation
-WCW Fall Brawl -The N.W.O.
-WWF Fully Loaded -DX
-WCW Great American Bash -The Corporate Ministry
-WWF Unforgiven -The Mean Street Posse
Funniest Wrestler Best Heel
-Vince McMahon -Buh Buh Ray Dudley
-‘Hardcore’ Holly -Triple H
-Steve Corino -Vince McMahon
-Chris Jericho -Rhino
-The Cat -Steve Corino
Best Announcer Best Hardcore Wrestler
-Joey Styles -Mankind
-Jim Ross -L’il Spike Dudley
-Cyrus the Virus -Sabu
-Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan -New Jack
-Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler -Balls Mahoney
Best Announce Team
-Cyrus & Joey Styles>ECW Pay Per Views
-Jim Ross & Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler> WWF Raw is War
-Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, & Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan>WCW Monday Nitro
-Joey Styles & Joel Gertner>ECW on TNN
-Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler & Michael Cole>WWF Smackdown!
Best Moment
-Balls Mahoney going through a thumbtack strewn flaming table
-‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin crashing the Corporation’s party with a beer truck
-The Sandman returning to ECW at Philadelphia’s ECW Arena
-The Big Bossman ruining The Big Show’s father’s funeral
-the L.W.O. dance party
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Sunday, December 19, 1999
WCW’s STARRCADE
Sunday, December 19th from Washington D.C.
Apparently this is the WCW’s biggest event of the year. It’s supposed to be their Wrestlemania, their November to Remember, their…you get the fucking point. I am sad to say that WCW’s worst pay per view of the year was Starrcade. It lacked focus, it lacked excitement, it lacked good matches, good endings, good heel/babyface turns, good surprises, good wrestling, good fun. It lacked EVERYTHING. There was no stand out matches, everything was marginal.
Which brings back the simple point: When will Russo and Ferrara be fired?
+JOHNNY DA BULL & BIG VITO vs. DISCO INFERNO & LASH LE-WHO?: Arguably the best match of the night. Why? Well the two ‘gangsters’ were in ECW only a month ago. They were in the group known as The Baldies. They didn’t make much of an impression, but this was their first real big match and they proved they know how to wrestle. One of the two gangsters gave the move of the night with a really high spin DDT move that was fucking awesome. Sadly, their ECW moves and persona will diminish and their excitement factor will die. At least we saw the spinning DDT once. **1/2
+MADUSA vs. EVAN KOURAGEOUS: I was so pig headed that when Russo/Ferrara started booking WCW I figured it would steal the ratings back easily. The first few weeks were solid, watchable, and it was exciting to see WCW in a great new direction. Unfortunately, their magic charm has diminished and WCW sucks. Yes, it is funny, but it needs what the WWF has; attitude. It could also use some excitement and seriousness, and some damn heels!!! This match was actually promoted on the radio. They mentioned Goldberg versus Bret Hart and then mentioned this match. What??? WCW is dead in the water as far as I’m concerned. No matter how much I hate to say this…WCW was better before the two New York writers showed up. ½*
NORMAN SMILEY vs. MENG: My brother says he would give this four stars. Come on. Yes, it had one of the funniest moments in a while when Norman jumped through a curtain and over a table just because. The hardcore belt is tarnished though and the joke is over. Hardcore doesn’t mean using just trashcans. What about tables? Barb wire? Fire? Tacks? Gimmie blood and by the gallons. Sure this match was funny, but do we want to see this shit at Souled Out, too? No. **1/2
THE REVOLUTION vs. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & THE VARSITY CLUB: Duggan was coming out with 3 mystery partners. I figured it might be Hogan and Flair. It turned out to be the Kevin Sullivan, Dogg, and I.R.S. (or M. Wallstreet as he was known for awhile). This match was lame. WCW truly sucks. God I’m livid. *
BOOKER T. & MIDNIGHT vs. CREATIVE CONTROL & CURT HENIG: Is it me, or does Midnight suck? As of Thunder Creative Control is now the Harris twins or something and PTB (powers to be…Vince Russo) is running solo now. What a dumb match. Imagine having the entire booking reigns handed over. You can book pay per views, Thunder, and Nitro. You need storylines and character development and everything. Sorry to say it, but I think 99.9% of the wrestling fans out there can do better than what Russo/Ferrara have been doing. ½*
DUSTIN RHODES vs. JJ: No, not JJ F’ng Dillon, Jeff Jarrett. This was a Bunkhouse Brawl, or, in laments terms, a hardcore match. This match was hardcore allright. It hurt to watch. ½*
+DDP vs. CRAZY DAVID FLAIR: I’m sure Ric Flair is a little mad at watching the PTB turn Little Natch into a crazy mofo with a plotline going nowhere fast. At least he does a good job with his character, which is more than he ever did beforehand. This was a crowbar on a pole match. Should I have even mentioned that? Nah. *1/2
STING vs. LEX LUGER: No matter that Lex Luger is now The Total Package instead of Lex Luger, the fucking announcers even call him Lex Luger every once in awhile. This match would have been monumental on any other ppv. Did I mention they reformed the N.W.O. on Nitro? Oh, maybe you can now figure out why I hate WCW. Yes, I loved the N.W.O., but that was two years ago. I was glad to finally see it go, not when it is finally in the ground they bring it back. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, this match blew harder than DG at the Christmas Party. Nuff said. *
+SID vs. KEVIN NASH: Why did they turn Sid good? Probably the best match in the Russo/Ferrara era was the Sid/Goldberg match at Halloween Havoc when Sid bled like a stuck pig and the ref called the match. Now he’s good and he sucks. And Nash is supposed to be ‘bad’? WCW has no good bad guys anymore. The N.W.O. is going to get a lot of pops no matter how much they make fun of the city they’re in…which only JJ probably will do. Bret Hart is great as a heel, though, so I guess that’s a plus. *1/2
CHRIS ‘SILENT BUT VIOLENT’ BENOIT vs. JJ: Yes, JJ F’ng Dillon wrestled Benoit. No, I’m fuckin’ wit ya. Jeff Jarrett pulled out no stops in this Ladder Match because Scott Hall is injured. On the ‘net they said Ric Flair was offered to fight Benoit in this match but he declined. This was supposedly the only watchable match on the ppv (said the PWTorch), but I’ve never seen a good Ladder Match in WCW and I doubt I’ll start now. **1/2
BRET HART vs. BILL GOLDBERG: They recreated Survivor Series ’97 and ref Roddy Piper rang the bell and screwed Goldberg out of the title even though he didn’t tap out. On Nitro they revealed that Russo felt bad for Bret Hart ever since the ’97 incident so he put the screwjob in his favor this time. Whatever….this match sucked and anyone that paid a cool 33 bills probably has his head in an oven somewhere. Nitro sucked even more when the fucking N.W.O. reunited. Is it too hard to make another name for them? Do we really have to see the N.W.O…again? No. The N.W.O. was good in the beginning, but they ran that plot into the ground. The N.W.O. does not equal ratings…especially when you look at whose in it: JJ, Hart, Hall, and Nash. At least Hogan was a great personality. Hopefully Russo will get so drunk for the Millennium he’ll fall down a flight of stairs and have an epiphany: stop writing this shit and make WCW good again. Forget the N.W.O. Create some major heels and quit fucking around with the backstage hijinks. We want to see serious shit, too, blood and tits, sure, but we don’t want 3 hours of bullshit. Russo: congratulations, you’ve officially killed WCW. Rumors on the ‘net say he’ll be fired in April. Well start counting the days big boy. *
I ripped Russo a new a-hole, didn’t I? Sure, but did you watch Starrcade? It not only sucked, it blew, and then Nitro pulled out no stops and reunited the fucking N.W.O. Jesus F. Christ. All the while WCW is in the gutter, WWF is promising the return of Cactus Jack and has the MSG Royal Rumble to pump up. I give Starrcade ½* and it will definitely win the award for Worst PPV of the Year, even though ‘Mad Dog’ Tearson believed Heroes of Wrestling to be the worst. I predicted an awful 5 out of 11, which is a 45%, an F-. Though me and my brother split all picks so there’s method to my madness. The next big two pay per view is Souled Out in January, where Jeff Jarrett and Benoit have a match which supposedly features a CRAZY stipulation. Hope it’s not as crazy as the Dog Kennel From Hell match the WWF put on in September. ‘Mad Dog’ picked that as the worst match of the year. I can’t disagree. Next Monday WCW has a ppv calibur Nitro titled New Year’s Evil from Houston’s AstroDome. Don’t expect much. I’m looking forward to ECW’s January 9th ppv Guilty as Charged. The hi-light matches include Sandman vs. Rhino, Sabu vs. Van Damme, and Raven & Dreamer vs. The Impact Players. Looks to be one of the year’s best ppv’s already. Of course there’s the ‘Rumble, where a rumored Cactus Jack/HHH main event will take place. I can’t wait. Wanted: Dead. Until then…
Apparently this is the WCW’s biggest event of the year. It’s supposed to be their Wrestlemania, their November to Remember, their…you get the fucking point. I am sad to say that WCW’s worst pay per view of the year was Starrcade. It lacked focus, it lacked excitement, it lacked good matches, good endings, good heel/babyface turns, good surprises, good wrestling, good fun. It lacked EVERYTHING. There was no stand out matches, everything was marginal.
Which brings back the simple point: When will Russo and Ferrara be fired?
+JOHNNY DA BULL & BIG VITO vs. DISCO INFERNO & LASH LE-WHO?: Arguably the best match of the night. Why? Well the two ‘gangsters’ were in ECW only a month ago. They were in the group known as The Baldies. They didn’t make much of an impression, but this was their first real big match and they proved they know how to wrestle. One of the two gangsters gave the move of the night with a really high spin DDT move that was fucking awesome. Sadly, their ECW moves and persona will diminish and their excitement factor will die. At least we saw the spinning DDT once. **1/2
+MADUSA vs. EVAN KOURAGEOUS: I was so pig headed that when Russo/Ferrara started booking WCW I figured it would steal the ratings back easily. The first few weeks were solid, watchable, and it was exciting to see WCW in a great new direction. Unfortunately, their magic charm has diminished and WCW sucks. Yes, it is funny, but it needs what the WWF has; attitude. It could also use some excitement and seriousness, and some damn heels!!! This match was actually promoted on the radio. They mentioned Goldberg versus Bret Hart and then mentioned this match. What??? WCW is dead in the water as far as I’m concerned. No matter how much I hate to say this…WCW was better before the two New York writers showed up. ½*
NORMAN SMILEY vs. MENG: My brother says he would give this four stars. Come on. Yes, it had one of the funniest moments in a while when Norman jumped through a curtain and over a table just because. The hardcore belt is tarnished though and the joke is over. Hardcore doesn’t mean using just trashcans. What about tables? Barb wire? Fire? Tacks? Gimmie blood and by the gallons. Sure this match was funny, but do we want to see this shit at Souled Out, too? No. **1/2
THE REVOLUTION vs. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & THE VARSITY CLUB: Duggan was coming out with 3 mystery partners. I figured it might be Hogan and Flair. It turned out to be the Kevin Sullivan, Dogg, and I.R.S. (or M. Wallstreet as he was known for awhile). This match was lame. WCW truly sucks. God I’m livid. *
BOOKER T. & MIDNIGHT vs. CREATIVE CONTROL & CURT HENIG: Is it me, or does Midnight suck? As of Thunder Creative Control is now the Harris twins or something and PTB (powers to be…Vince Russo) is running solo now. What a dumb match. Imagine having the entire booking reigns handed over. You can book pay per views, Thunder, and Nitro. You need storylines and character development and everything. Sorry to say it, but I think 99.9% of the wrestling fans out there can do better than what Russo/Ferrara have been doing. ½*
DUSTIN RHODES vs. JJ: No, not JJ F’ng Dillon, Jeff Jarrett. This was a Bunkhouse Brawl, or, in laments terms, a hardcore match. This match was hardcore allright. It hurt to watch. ½*
+DDP vs. CRAZY DAVID FLAIR: I’m sure Ric Flair is a little mad at watching the PTB turn Little Natch into a crazy mofo with a plotline going nowhere fast. At least he does a good job with his character, which is more than he ever did beforehand. This was a crowbar on a pole match. Should I have even mentioned that? Nah. *1/2
STING vs. LEX LUGER: No matter that Lex Luger is now The Total Package instead of Lex Luger, the fucking announcers even call him Lex Luger every once in awhile. This match would have been monumental on any other ppv. Did I mention they reformed the N.W.O. on Nitro? Oh, maybe you can now figure out why I hate WCW. Yes, I loved the N.W.O., but that was two years ago. I was glad to finally see it go, not when it is finally in the ground they bring it back. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, this match blew harder than DG at the Christmas Party. Nuff said. *
+SID vs. KEVIN NASH: Why did they turn Sid good? Probably the best match in the Russo/Ferrara era was the Sid/Goldberg match at Halloween Havoc when Sid bled like a stuck pig and the ref called the match. Now he’s good and he sucks. And Nash is supposed to be ‘bad’? WCW has no good bad guys anymore. The N.W.O. is going to get a lot of pops no matter how much they make fun of the city they’re in…which only JJ probably will do. Bret Hart is great as a heel, though, so I guess that’s a plus. *1/2
CHRIS ‘SILENT BUT VIOLENT’ BENOIT vs. JJ: Yes, JJ F’ng Dillon wrestled Benoit. No, I’m fuckin’ wit ya. Jeff Jarrett pulled out no stops in this Ladder Match because Scott Hall is injured. On the ‘net they said Ric Flair was offered to fight Benoit in this match but he declined. This was supposedly the only watchable match on the ppv (said the PWTorch), but I’ve never seen a good Ladder Match in WCW and I doubt I’ll start now. **1/2
BRET HART vs. BILL GOLDBERG: They recreated Survivor Series ’97 and ref Roddy Piper rang the bell and screwed Goldberg out of the title even though he didn’t tap out. On Nitro they revealed that Russo felt bad for Bret Hart ever since the ’97 incident so he put the screwjob in his favor this time. Whatever….this match sucked and anyone that paid a cool 33 bills probably has his head in an oven somewhere. Nitro sucked even more when the fucking N.W.O. reunited. Is it too hard to make another name for them? Do we really have to see the N.W.O…again? No. The N.W.O. was good in the beginning, but they ran that plot into the ground. The N.W.O. does not equal ratings…especially when you look at whose in it: JJ, Hart, Hall, and Nash. At least Hogan was a great personality. Hopefully Russo will get so drunk for the Millennium he’ll fall down a flight of stairs and have an epiphany: stop writing this shit and make WCW good again. Forget the N.W.O. Create some major heels and quit fucking around with the backstage hijinks. We want to see serious shit, too, blood and tits, sure, but we don’t want 3 hours of bullshit. Russo: congratulations, you’ve officially killed WCW. Rumors on the ‘net say he’ll be fired in April. Well start counting the days big boy. *
I ripped Russo a new a-hole, didn’t I? Sure, but did you watch Starrcade? It not only sucked, it blew, and then Nitro pulled out no stops and reunited the fucking N.W.O. Jesus F. Christ. All the while WCW is in the gutter, WWF is promising the return of Cactus Jack and has the MSG Royal Rumble to pump up. I give Starrcade ½* and it will definitely win the award for Worst PPV of the Year, even though ‘Mad Dog’ Tearson believed Heroes of Wrestling to be the worst. I predicted an awful 5 out of 11, which is a 45%, an F-. Though me and my brother split all picks so there’s method to my madness. The next big two pay per view is Souled Out in January, where Jeff Jarrett and Benoit have a match which supposedly features a CRAZY stipulation. Hope it’s not as crazy as the Dog Kennel From Hell match the WWF put on in September. ‘Mad Dog’ picked that as the worst match of the year. I can’t disagree. Next Monday WCW has a ppv calibur Nitro titled New Year’s Evil from Houston’s AstroDome. Don’t expect much. I’m looking forward to ECW’s January 9th ppv Guilty as Charged. The hi-light matches include Sandman vs. Rhino, Sabu vs. Van Damme, and Raven & Dreamer vs. The Impact Players. Looks to be one of the year’s best ppv’s already. Of course there’s the ‘Rumble, where a rumored Cactus Jack/HHH main event will take place. I can’t wait. Wanted: Dead. Until then…
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