Sunday, July 15, 2018

WWE EXTREME RULES

Pittsburgh

ANDRADE "CIEN" ALMAS vs. SIN CARA (7:00): Remember when Almas was the NXT champ and in an excellent main event at Takeover in January against Gargano? Well now he's on the first pre-show match facing Sin Cara. Jesus Christ. It only took six months to completely ruin him. Thanks. And this was a good match, too. **1/2

SANITY vs. THE NEW DAY "TABLES MATCH" (8:00): A pre-show tables match. So...extreme. I really shouldn't have watched the Omega/Naito G1 Day 2 match right before this show. This was pretty much eight minutes of various people stacking and unfolding tables until one of them fell through one and it was over. It was basic. **

THE B-TEAM vs. MATT HARDY & BRAY WYATT (8:00): Remember when Bo Dallas was the NXT champ? Yeah, I don't. That was pre-WWE Network, and the only NXT I ever watch are the Takeover shows. Well Bo Dallas is the tag team champ now with Curt Henning's son. Ugh. The WWE still loves comedy. But...not good/funny comedy. They like showcasing dumb, groan inducing comedy like the stupid B-Team team. This was fairly atrocious. And Wyatt was just in a car accident a few week's ago but looked fine. Weird. 1/2*

FINN BALOR vs. BARON CORBIN (8:20): Yawn. Finn is great. Even the audience loves him. On RAW after this show, he was in a triple threat match with Reigns and Drew Mcintyre and the crowd was dying for him to win. Unfortunately, that time he won the Universal championship at Summerslam was apparently some sort of drunken mirage. He only won here with a cheap roll-up. And Corbin has always sucked, long haired or bald. *

CARMELLA vs. ASUKA (5:25): James Ellsworth is back and so they put him in a shark cage above the ring. So he threw down some weapons for Carmella like a spray bottle (?) and then he unlocked the cage somehow but got stuck and was dangling by one leg. So Asuka kicked him a bunch then Carmella threw Asuka into the side of the cage (which had been lowered when Ellsworth was hanging out of it) and then pinned her. I suppose the shark cage stuff was amusing. *

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. JEFF HARDY (0:06): Nakamura low-blowed Hardy pre-match then hit his finisher, the Kinsasha, and won the U.S. title. I'm guessing this is because Hardy is a fucking broken shell that can't wrestle anymore? Orton came out post-match and kicked Hardy in the balls for some reason. 1/2*

KEVIN OWENS vs. BRAUN STROWMAN "STEEL CAGE MATCH" (8:05): Strowman tossed Owens off the top of the cage and Owens went through the announce table. This was basically the same spot that Mankind took from The Undertaker in '98 off the Hell in a Cell. Which was one of the most historic spots in WWE history. I guess just doing it again isn't as spectacular, although it was fucking gruesome. Owens hit his head on the top, over-hanging edge part before the desk collapsed and then he flailed around in pain. Usually, if a wrestler isn't injured he would just lay there like he's dead, so he probably did, at the very least, get a concussion. Great final spot (Owens one since he was the first out of the cage, technically) but boring before that. **1/2

THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS vs. TEAM HELL NO (8:20): Daniel Bryan and Kane got beat up backstage earlier by The Bludgeon Brothers so Daniel Bryan came out alone to face them. Kane eventually came out with a boot on his foot. Bryan had a valiant effort. But, c'mon, why is the best wrestler in the company in matches like this? And before this he feuded with Big Cass. His contract is up in September and I think everyone and their mother expects him to leave. Why stay for shit like this? *

BOBBY LASHLEY vs. ROMAN REIGNS (14:50): Lashley shockingly won. Even more shocking, this wasn't the main event even though it was by far the most promoted match leading up to this. They're having a re-match next week on RAW so expect Reigns to win there then win the title from Lesnar at Summerslam. This was fairly decent late but boring early. **

ALEXA BLISS vs. NIA JAX "EXTREME RULES MATCH" (7:30): Ronda Rousey is suspended, so of course she bought a ringside ticket and then eventually ran in and beat up Mickie James and Bliss. They used a Singapore Cane but this wasn't exactly very "extreme." When Rousey came out it was great, she's like a caged tiger set loose and definitely the best thing in the WWE these days. But before Rousey came in it was pretty awful. **

AJ STYLES vs. RUSEV (15:35): Kind of boring. AJ is great, but even the crowd was pretty bored by this. I guess because nobody figured Rusev would win the title. They better hurry up and get an AJ/Bryan title match in before Bryan quits. **

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. SETH ROLLINS "IRON MAN MATCH" (30:10): Ah, the short Iron Man match. Last month, Omega and Okada went over an hour in a match, and even last month at Money in the Bank, AJ and Nakamura went 31 minutes, so calling this half hour match an "Iron Match" seems silly. It went into over-time when it was a 4-4 draw. But Angle re-started it and Mcintyre interfered and Ziggler retained his IC title. Why Angle didn't re-start it again after the interference is beyond me. They also had a big countdown clock on the Titan Tron and the crowd was chanting 10-9-8 and then "Ehhhhh" at 0 like it was the Royal Rumble or something. This apparently annoyed the WWE so they took the clock off the screen. Then the crowd still was chanting it so after awhile they put it back up. Which meant the crowd was not into this match in the slightest. And because of the distracted crowd or the late hour on a long show or that it just wasn't that good, this match paled in comparison to the Ziggler/Rollins main event on RAW a few weeks ago that the crowd liked. This wasn't a terrible show. But it wasn't particularly good, either. It probably needed at least one great match that we just never got. **


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