WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

Sunday, July 15th, 2012 from Phoenix

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. DAMIEN SANDOW vs. SIN CARA vs. CHRISTIAN vs. CODY RHODES vs. TENSAI vs. TYSON KIDD vs. SANTINO MARELLA "LADDER MATCH": This has become my favorite WWE ppv. I mean, two ladder matches guarantees two good matches. The only other show that guarantees two good matches is the Elimination Chamber ppv. & I love Wrestlemania, sure, but I love ladder matches more. And even though I picked Ziggler and Cena to both win and they did, they were both good matches, this one being a zany clusterfuck of a match with missed spots and sick spots and a wild energy to it. The sickest spot had Tensai tossing Dolph over the announce table and onto the announcer's chair. The catch? Dolph flew through the air and landed upside down on the chair and bounced off. It was scary. Definitely one of the best WWE matches of the year. ***1/2

SHEAMUS vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: Yawn. 1/2*

TITUS O'NEAL & DARREN YOUNG vs. PRIMO & EPICO: I read the paper while this was going on.

CM PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN: Good match. They used a chair, a table, and kendo sticks. AJ didn't really sway the match...so what was the point of her being the ref? Punk put Bryan through a table from the top rope to win. ***

RYBACK vs. CURT HAWKINS & TYLER REKS: More paper.

LAYLA & KAITLYN & TAMINA SNUKA vs. BETH PHOENIX & NATALYA & EVE TORRES: More paper. Really...the WWE can't put a good 3 hour show together? There were 3 matches that didn't even belong on RAW.

JOHN CENA vs. BIG SHOW vs. THE MIZ vs. KANE vs. CHRIS JERICHO "LADDER MATCH": Good not great, but it had some interesting stuff that made it stand out. Like Cena tossing Show through the announce table early. Kane being suplexed onto a ladder. Cena won, cashed in his briefcase on RAW to announce he'll face Punk at the 1,000 RAW on July 23rd. Everyone says this means a Punk heel turn. We'll see. But it looks like Summerslam will be Lesnar/HHH and Cena/Punk which ain't bad. ***

TNA DESTINATION X

Sunday, July 8th, 2012 from Orlando

RUBIX (JIGSAW) VS. MASON ANDREWS (SCORPIO SKY) VS. LARS ONLY (JOHNNY YUMA) VS. DAKOTA DARSOW: There were a lot of "stars" not on the show tonight; no Bully Ray, Mr. Anderson, Jeff Hardy, Abyss. This show felt like a CZW Best of the Best type of show...which isn't bad...but it would have helped if we knew who any of these guys were (they had them on only one Impact). This was wild but also a mess. **

KID KASH VS. MASON ANDREWS: Yes, Kid Kash is still wrestling. I saw him in ECW at the ECW Arena in, like, '99. He's still mediocre. *1/2

DOUGLAS WILLIAMS VS. KENNY KING: King jumped ship from ROH who fired him. He's got a dumb name and isn't all that exciting. *

SONJAY DUTT VS. RASHAD CAMERON: Dutt has a crazy finisher. He leaps off the top rope and does a flip and lands feet first on the opponent's chest. Sick! I also saw him at the ECW Arena at CZW's Cage of Death X. I guess that says something about TNA's star power. **1/2

ZEMA ION VS. FLIP CASANOVA: Jesse Sorensen came out before this match to say that he will return, win the X-Division title and then the World title. Zema, if you forget, broke Sorensen's neck by accident. I like Zema. Go figure. **

KURT ANGLE VS. SAMOA JOE: Not good. Bad finish. Joe choked out Angle and the ref called it. Jeez, remember when these guys were in the main event burning the house down? It felt stale, bygone. **

A.J. STYLES VS. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS "LAST MAN STANDING MATCH": Great match that I missed most of thanks to an internet stream failing. The finish had AJ giving Daniels his face plant finish off the ramp through a table. ***

KENNY KING VS. ZEMA ION VS. SONJAY DUTT VS. MASON ANDREWS "ULTIMATE X MATCH": They haven't had a great Ultimate X match in a long time. I remember them always being stellar. Not sure what happened, but I guess the wrestlers haven't been as good. Dutt got hurt but came back out late to take a hard bump off the X in the center of the ring and Zema won. **1/2

BOBBY ROODE VS. AUSTIN ARIES: This, like every Roode match, was not good...but Aries won the title clean and that was shocking and awesome. It's nice to be surprised. **   

WWE NO WAY OUT

Sunday, June 17th, 2012 from East Rutherford, NJ

SHEAMUS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Good opener. Randy Orton was suspended for using steroids and then Alberto Del Rio got a concussion so this left Dolph Ziggler to take the spot against Sheamus. Perhaps the best match of the show (and if you couldn't tell by that, the show was awful). **1/2 (out of ****)

SANTINO MARELLA vs. RICARDO RODRIGUEZ "TUXEDO MATCH": Yeah...a match where you have to rip off the other person's tuxedo. A leftover from the Russo era? 1/2*

CHRISTIAN vs. CODY RHODES: Kind of stale, although name a good match Cody has ever been in. Yeah. *1/2

PRIMO & EPICO vs. TYSON KIDD & JUSTIN GABRIEL vs. TITUS O'NEAL & DARREN YOUNG (THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS) VS. USOS: Who are these people? There was one good spot where one dude jumped off the top rope down onto seven people. But look at this card...most of it is worse than a RAW card. *1/2

LAYLA vs. BETH PHOENIX: Ugh. Women wrestling. 1/2*

HUNICO vs. SIN CARA: Really? On a ppv? 1/2*

C.M. PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN vs. KANE: Good, not great. Thank Kane. **1/2

RYBACK vs. ROB GRYMES & DAN DELANY: Goldberg! 1/2*

JOHN CENA vs. BIG SHOW "CAGE MATCH": So The Big Show beats the shit out of Cena. Then Brodus Clay shows up with a steel chair and won't let Show out. Then Kofi climbs the cage to prevent Show from escaping and then Ryder does the same. All of this interference helps Cena give Show the Attitude Adjustment and climb out to win. Thus Vince McMahon fires John Laurinaitis and then Cena tosses him threw the Spanish announce table. A good clusterfuck of an ending. **1/2



        

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY

Sunday, June 10th, 2012 from Arlington, Texas

AUSTIN ARIES vs. SOMOA JOE: A terrific match, albeit a little short. Fuck...Somoa Joe has been losing for decades, right? Remember when he was the TNA champ? ***

HERNANDEZ vs. KID KASH: Eh. Hernandez did a great over the top-rope leap down onto the floor and Kash, although Hernandez did look like he landed on his shoulder. I see a wheelchair in your future, big man. **

DEVON & GARETT BISCHOFF vs. ROBBIE E & ROBBIE T: Not good. 1/2*

MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY vs. RVD: Good. And I guess it's a surprise that Mr. Kennedy won, although not surprising that he lost in the title match on Impact to Bobby Roode (the winner of this got a title shot). **1/2

JAMES STORM vs. CRIMSON: So Crimon's Goldberg-like winning streak ends. So what was the point of this winning streak? At least Goldberg won the title and the winning streak went somewhere. Crimson's winning streak was a year of beating B-stars. *

MISS TESSMACHER vs. GAIL KIM: So what does Tessmacher mean, anyway? Is it some sex joke like Ms. Hancock was? The women's division in TNA hasn't been the same since Awesome Kong left. *

JOSEPH PARK vs. BULLY RAY: Really? REALLY? What is this storyline, anyway? Park is supposed to be Abyss' brother but we all know he's Abyss without a mask. So Park rolls under the ring mid-match and Abyss comes out and choke slams Bully Ray then goes back under the ring and Park comes out. I know everyone on wrestling internet sites hates hardcore wrestling but that Abyss/Bully match earlier in the year with barbed wire was fucking awesome. **

A.J. STYLES & KURT ANGLE vs. KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS: The best TNA match in a LONG time. The final few minutes were a crazy flurry of activity and it was wild and entertaining and fun. Great match. ***1/2

STING vs. BOBBY ROODE: Please, Sting: stop wrestling. Also, Bobby Roode stop wrestling. 1/2*

WWE OVER THE LIMIT

From Raleigh, NC



BATTLE ROYALE (CHRISTIAN): The winner of this un-announced match got to face either the U.S. Title holder or the IC title holder. Christian obviously won. It was typical. **

R. TRUTH & KOFI KINGSTON vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & JACK SWAGGER: Didn't even realize the WWE still had a Tag Team division. I will say that for some strange reason the commentary tonight by Cole, Booker, and King was hilarious, bizarre, and entertaining. *1/2

LAYLA vs. BETH PHOENIX: Sloppy. Awful. -No Stars-

SHEAMUS vs. RANDY ORTON vs. CHRIS JERICHO vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: The match of the night. Seriously. The final five to ten minutes was a wild frenzy. Good stuff. ***

BRODUS CLAY vs. THE MIZ: The Miz was in the battle royale. Yep, him and Christian wrestled twice tonight. The Miz did dance The Thriller pre-match. That was interesting (sadly, they couldn't afford to use the music). *

CODY RHODES vs. CHRISTIAN: Very dull. 1/2*

C.M. PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN: Good, not great. Really looked like a ROH match. Long, holds, back and forth. A crap WWE finish, though; Punk was in the Yes Lock but rolled over to pin Bryan and then Punk tapped. So kind of a lame ending but a good match. **1/2

RYBACK vs. CAMACHO: More "Goldberg!" chants. 1/2*

JOHN LAURANAITIS vs. JOHN CENA: Cena beat up Big Johnny, sprayed him with a fire extinguisher, doused him with water. Big Show came out and KO'd Cena. This was unGodly awful. -No Stars-

TNA SACRIFICE

Sunday, May 13th, 2012 from Orlando

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN vs. SOMOA JOE & MAGNUS: I missed this match...but we have new tag teams! Does anyone care? Where are the Motor City Machine Guns, anyway?

GAIL KIM vs. BROOKE TESSMACHER: I missed this match, too. Lazy.

DEVON vs. ROBBIE E. & ROBBIE T.: Kind of still mad they split up the Dudley Boyz. Not because I like them but because now we have to sit through Devon matches. * (out of ****)

MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY: The finish was super awkward. Anderson rolled up Hardy for a quick pin that might have been a 2 and a 1/2 count. After the pin, Anderson spoke to the ref and stood in the ring looking like a mistake just occurred. Either way, it wasn't that great. *1/2

CRIMSON vs. ERIC YOUNG: Eric Young might be TNA's most entertaining wrestler...but even he couldn't make a Crimson match watchable. *

AUSTIN ARIES vs. BULLY RAY: This was the match of the night. Austin Aries is phenomenal. Funny, a high-flyer, sarcastic, semi-evil, and all around fun to watch. His entrance proclaims him to be "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived." He even had a good match with Bully Ray. **1/2

KURT ANGLE vs. A.J. STYLES: Eh. It was twenty-minutes, so-so. **

RVD vs. BOBBY ROODE "LADDER MATCH":  No big spots but at least it was semi-entertaining. RVD is lucky he's still alive as he got destroyed. He did a Five Star Frog Splash off the top rope and Roode moved and RVD landed on his knees onto a ladder. He lept onto a ladder and got his foot stuck in an awkward maneuver that left him dangling. The finish had him kicked off the ladder where his head landed onto a chair. Roode is officially now the longest reigning TNA champ. **

WWE EXTREME RULES

From Rosemont, Illinois

KANE vs. RANDY ORTON "FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE": This was, shockingly, the best match Kane has been in for years. And it wasn't even that good! They brawled all over the building...so I guess the secret to having a good Kane match is to not let him actually wrestle. **1/2 (out of ****)  

BRODUS CLAY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Short. Mediocre. 1/2*

BIG SHOW vs. CODY RHODES "TABLES MATCH": The Big Show was kicked by Cody Rhodes and fell off the apron and stepped through a table, thus he lost the IC Title. Groan. Then he put Cody through two tables and the last time it was a patented Mike Awesome-over-the-top-rope toss. Nice. *1/2  

SHEAMUS vs. DANIEL BRYAN "2 OUT OF 3 FALLS": Great match. I guess now it makes the WWE look bad for only giving their best wrestler 18 seconds at 'Mania. The first fall was a DQ because Bryan was kicking Sheamus too much. The second fall was because Sheamus passed out. The last fall had a Brogue Kick and Bryan lost. It was long but one of the year's best. ***1/2

AARON RELIC & JAY HATTON vs. RYBACK: Yawn. The crowd chanted, "Goldberg!" because Ryback is...oh, who cares? -No Stars-

 CHRIS JERICHO vs. CM PUNK "CHICAGO STREET FIGHT": A little awkward and slow early but it picked up at the end with a ton of gimmicks. Punk used a fire extinguisher and lept off the top rope and onto Jericho and the Spanish announce table. Punk's sister was ringside and slapped Jericho. Chairs and canes were used. These two just don't mesh well but it had enough craziness to work. & my god the crowd was awesome tonight. ***

NICKI BELLA vs. LAYLA: Boring filler. When's Kharma coming back? -No Stars-

BROCK LESNAR vs. JOHN CENA "EXTREME RULES MATCH": Wow...a good main event. & they cheered Cena. & he pinned Lesnar...then said he was taking a vacation. First off, Brock looked like he really hurt Cena. Both guys bled and both were practically falling all over each other and out of the ring at one point or another. Cena gave the FU to Brock onto the steel ring steps in the ring and won. Two refs were knocked out and a medic tended to Cena's head wound during the match. A total cluster fuck and dull early but it was insanely watchable. This was a really good show. ***