WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER

Houston, TX

BUDDY MURPHY vs. AKIRA TOZAWA (13:25): This was on the pre-show and was perhaps the best match of the night (the final ten minutes or so of the main event was better, though). The problem? Even the WWE doesn't care about 205Live, the Dead Man Walking of shows. During the match they had an interview segment with The New Day backstage and had to split screen the match and the interview. The pre-show was an hour long! Why didn't they do the interview segment during the other forty five minutes of pre-show instead of during this great match? Who the fuck knows. The WWE has baffled me for awhile now and the dropping ratings are proof that they're lost in a heavy fog with no way out. On any other show from a different company like ROH or PWG or Dragon Gate or REVPRO (I could go on), this match would be the main event for the title. That's how good and exciting these guys and this match was. But with a dead crowd, a frigging split screen, a non-existent push for 205Live for no reason, you got a great match that meant nothing and was forgotten. I mention Dragon Gate because Tozawa  used to wrestle there. Perhaps he should go back. And Murphy, for the love of God, get the fuck out of this company pronto. ***

BAYLEY & SASHA BANKS vs. CARMELLA & NAOMI vs. MANDY ROSE & SONYA DEVILLE vs. NIA JAX & TAMINA vs. THE ICONICS vs. THE RIOTT SQUAD "ELIMINATION CHAMBER" (33:00): Well the best I can say about this match was that it wasn't as bad as everyone thought it would be. This was for the tag team women's title, a new title released tonight onto the world. This means that us suckers that watch RAW and Smackdown will now have to not only sit through boring singles and multi women matches...we'll now have to suffer through women's tag team matches. Nothing remarkable happened in this match. It wasn't cringe inducing. The hot crowd helped. **

THE USO'S vs. SHANE McMAHON & THE MIZ (14:10): One of the Uso's got arrested by the Detroit police last week for trying to fight them. Apparently his wife, Naomi from the previous match, was driving down a one way street so the police pulled them over and smelled alcohol in their car. The Uso took his shirt off and wanted to fight so the police pulled out a taser until they calmed him down. So you'd think the dude would get suspended from the WWE or something, right? Nope. Him and his brother won the tag team titles. Uh...okay. Shane did his top rope elbow through the announce table. That was hard to watch. Shane is too old and he'll be in a wheel chair and be a mindless vegetable soon if he doesn't stop doing shit like that at his age. *

FINN BALOR vs. BOBBY LASHLEY & LIO RUSH (9:30): So this was a handicap match but still for the IC title. What? That makes zero sense. I guess they just didn't want Finn to pin Lashley. He didn't. He pinned Lio Rush instead. Rush used to wrestle in CZW. He's a hell of a wrestler but has already been destroyed by the WWE. Way to go. 1/2*

RONDA ROUSEY vs. RUBY RIOTT (1:40): Rousey tapped out Riott very quickly. Then Becky Lynch came out on crutches and beat up Rousey and Charlotte (who was sitting at ringside) until security came out. Lynch is the hottest thing since forever in the WWE. It's really too bad that they're just recycling the 'Stone Cold' vs. McMahon storyline, though. Shit's tired. *1/2

BARON CORBIN vs. BRAUN STROWMAN "NO DQ MATCH" (10:50): Eventually, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley came out and all three put Strowman through two stacked tables in the ring and Corbin won. What an entertaining villainous trio! Seriously, the WWE needs new writers or something. *

DANIEL BRYAN vs. KOFI KINGSTON vs. SAMOA JOE vs. A.J. STYLES vs. RANDY ORTON vs. JEFF HARDY "ELIMINATION CHAMBER" (36:40): Kofi Kingston took Mustafa Ali's place because Ali suffered a concussion last week. Which means this mega push that worked for Kofi this week was never planned. Let's hope the WWE stops planning things then, because this Kofi push out of nowhere was solid gold. The final two were Bryan and Kofi and the crowd was ecstatic and behind Kofi like he was Hulk Hogan in the 80's or something. Kofi isn't even that popular...is he? Or was the crowd just into Kofi because they're fucking sick of the same old shit and want some new faces to win titles? Either way, the final ten minutes or so was great when Kofi almost won after a bunch of near-falls. Bryan eventually won and the air was sucked out of the building. Before that, Jeff Hardy did a Swanton Bomb off the top of one of the pods onto A.J. who was draped over the top rope. That was pretty cool. The match started with Samoa Joe and Bryan trading vicious, NJPW style chops. This wasn't a great match but the end was fantastic. For some reason, this show had usually been a lot better and more meaningful in years past. It probably didn't help that the RAW champ, Lesnar, and his WrestleMania foe, Seth Rollins, weren't even on the show, and that one Chamber match was wasted with a stupid women's tag team match. The other matches on the show were all lame and pointless besides the great 205Live bout. There's actually still one more PPV before WrestleMania. Which makes no fucking sense. Welcome to WWE. **1/2