WWE SUMMERSLAM

Brooklyn

ANDRADE "CIEN" ALMAS & ZELINA VEGA vs. RUSEV & LANA (7:00): Another long show. This match started around 5:30 and the show ended at 11:00. C'mon, that's too long. Even New Japan shows aren't that long, and those things are fucking marathons. Almas was the NXT champ this year and had a hell of a match against Johnny Gargano in January. Since moving up to the main roster he's been forgotten. It's a shame as he's a good wrestler with a the entertaining Zelina at ring side. This was short at least. *1/2

CEDRIC ALEXANDER vs. DREW GULAK (10:15): Gulak is by far the weakest 205Live wrestler. So of course he gets a title shot and bores the world. 1/2*

THE B-TEAM vs. THE REVIVAL (6:15): The Revival is another one that was super hot and super entertaining on NXT and is now a total joke. Why is NXT so much better? Hotter crowds? Better writing/booking? Maybe because they only do five big shows a year instead of twelve? Well the B-Team retained their tag titles with another fluke win. Groan. *

SETH ROLLINS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (22:00): Good match. The crowd, still awake at this early juncture, helped. Rollins won the IC title. Dean Ambrose and Drew Mcintyre were ringside. The reunited The Shield on RAW the day after Summerslam so I guess we won't be seeing Rollins/Reigns for the title anytime soon. Which is a shame because Rollins has had a stellar year. **1/2

THE NEW DAY vs. THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS (9:45): A DQ finish when The Bludgeon Brothers used their fake Thor hammer to, well, bludgeon The New Day. Xavier Woods did a top rope elbow to the floor which was cool. This was too short with that lame ending, though. The BB have destroyed any ounce of entertainment this tag division once had. *1/2

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. KEVIN OWENS (1:50): The first of three squash matches on the show. And the show was still too long! I guess the point of this was because Strowman showed up in the main event to tease a Money in the Bank briefcase cash in...so they had to show that he was a strong killer by having him utterly destroy Owens. It was still pointless and a waste of two minutes in my book. -No Stars-

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. CARMELLA vs. BECKY LYNCH (15:15): This would've been great if Carmella wasn't in it. Carmella mostly just broke up in counts. When she was on offense it was just silly and embarrassing. Lynch turned heel after Charlotte won the title. So are they ever going to give Lynch the title? **

SOMOA JOE vs. AJ STYLES (22:45): Good, albeit the ending was a lame DQ when Styles used a chair. AJ's wife and daughter were in the crowd and Joe got on the mic twice to taunt her about being her new, "daddy." Great story line...if you're a Jerry Springer fan. It reminded me of the Attitude-era shit, right? Joe wants to fuck AJ's wife. And AJ's daughter was even crying at points. After the match, AJ went over to his wife and daughter and his daughter said, "Daddy, you're bleeding." I guess the family drama helped somewhat, but let's face it, these two are past their prime, so this wasn't a masterpiece or anything. **1/2

THE MIZ vs. DANIEL BRYAN (23:50): Slow and fairly dull. I guess it's either because The Miz sucks or Bryan's been out too long plus isn't suicidal anymore. This was Bryan's first big one on one match since returning. The story line's been built for years. But, damn, it was just too plodding. It wasn't terrible, but I expected something faster and better. The Miz cheated to win when Maryse gave him brass knuckles or some foreign object. Of course Bryan lost. The WWE's hated him for years. **

FINN BALOR vs. BARON CORBIN (1:35): The Demon came out and won fast. Finn faced Reigns on RAW the day after this for the title, so I guess this was to build him up. 1/2*

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. JEFF HARDY (11:00): Crowd was dead. Nakamura had some amusing facial gestures. Hardy did a Swanton onto the edge of the ring. Eh. *

RONDA ROUSEY vs. ALEXA BLISS (4:00): Another squash! Bliss got zero offense in. Rousey won the title. Kind of fast for that, right? She just came here in April. Not sure what you do with her now. Fight men? 1/2*

ROMAN REIGNS vs. BROCK LESNAR (6:10): Well this was short. And, by far, the weakest Lesnar and Reigns/Lesnar match in some time. Braun Strowman stood ringside waiting to cash in his MITB briefcase. Eventually Lesnar F-5'd Braun and hit him with a chair to take him out. Reigns won super fast after that and the credits to the show hit almost immediately. Reigns has had the title before of course, but it was a mistake then and it's a mistake now because he's a good guy that nobody likes. *1/2