Sunday, December 19th from Washington D.C.
Apparently this is the WCW’s biggest event of the year. It’s supposed to be their Wrestlemania, their November to Remember, their…you get the fucking point. I am sad to say that WCW’s worst pay per view of the year was Starrcade. It lacked focus, it lacked excitement, it lacked good matches, good endings, good heel/babyface turns, good surprises, good wrestling, good fun. It lacked EVERYTHING. There was no stand out matches, everything was marginal.
Which brings back the simple point: When will Russo and Ferrara be fired?
+JOHNNY DA BULL & BIG VITO vs. DISCO INFERNO & LASH LE-WHO?: Arguably the best match of the night. Why? Well the two ‘gangsters’ were in ECW only a month ago. They were in the group known as The Baldies. They didn’t make much of an impression, but this was their first real big match and they proved they know how to wrestle. One of the two gangsters gave the move of the night with a really high spin DDT move that was fucking awesome. Sadly, their ECW moves and persona will diminish and their excitement factor will die. At least we saw the spinning DDT once. **1/2
+MADUSA vs. EVAN KOURAGEOUS: I was so pig headed that when Russo/Ferrara started booking WCW I figured it would steal the ratings back easily. The first few weeks were solid, watchable, and it was exciting to see WCW in a great new direction. Unfortunately, their magic charm has diminished and WCW sucks. Yes, it is funny, but it needs what the WWF has; attitude. It could also use some excitement and seriousness, and some damn heels!!! This match was actually promoted on the radio. They mentioned Goldberg versus Bret Hart and then mentioned this match. What??? WCW is dead in the water as far as I’m concerned. No matter how much I hate to say this…WCW was better before the two New York writers showed up. ½*
NORMAN SMILEY vs. MENG: My brother says he would give this four stars. Come on. Yes, it had one of the funniest moments in a while when Norman jumped through a curtain and over a table just because. The hardcore belt is tarnished though and the joke is over. Hardcore doesn’t mean using just trashcans. What about tables? Barb wire? Fire? Tacks? Gimmie blood and by the gallons. Sure this match was funny, but do we want to see this shit at Souled Out, too? No. **1/2
THE REVOLUTION vs. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & THE VARSITY CLUB: Duggan was coming out with 3 mystery partners. I figured it might be Hogan and Flair. It turned out to be the Kevin Sullivan, Dogg, and I.R.S. (or M. Wallstreet as he was known for awhile). This match was lame. WCW truly sucks. God I’m livid. *
BOOKER T. & MIDNIGHT vs. CREATIVE CONTROL & CURT HENIG: Is it me, or does Midnight suck? As of Thunder Creative Control is now the Harris twins or something and PTB (powers to be…Vince Russo) is running solo now. What a dumb match. Imagine having the entire booking reigns handed over. You can book pay per views, Thunder, and Nitro. You need storylines and character development and everything. Sorry to say it, but I think 99.9% of the wrestling fans out there can do better than what Russo/Ferrara have been doing. ½*
DUSTIN RHODES vs. JJ: No, not JJ F’ng Dillon, Jeff Jarrett. This was a Bunkhouse Brawl, or, in laments terms, a hardcore match. This match was hardcore allright. It hurt to watch. ½*
+DDP vs. CRAZY DAVID FLAIR: I’m sure Ric Flair is a little mad at watching the PTB turn Little Natch into a crazy mofo with a plotline going nowhere fast. At least he does a good job with his character, which is more than he ever did beforehand. This was a crowbar on a pole match. Should I have even mentioned that? Nah. *1/2
STING vs. LEX LUGER: No matter that Lex Luger is now The Total Package instead of Lex Luger, the fucking announcers even call him Lex Luger every once in awhile. This match would have been monumental on any other ppv. Did I mention they reformed the N.W.O. on Nitro? Oh, maybe you can now figure out why I hate WCW. Yes, I loved the N.W.O., but that was two years ago. I was glad to finally see it go, not when it is finally in the ground they bring it back. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, this match blew harder than DG at the Christmas Party. Nuff said. *
+SID vs. KEVIN NASH: Why did they turn Sid good? Probably the best match in the Russo/Ferrara era was the Sid/Goldberg match at Halloween Havoc when Sid bled like a stuck pig and the ref called the match. Now he’s good and he sucks. And Nash is supposed to be ‘bad’? WCW has no good bad guys anymore. The N.W.O. is going to get a lot of pops no matter how much they make fun of the city they’re in…which only JJ probably will do. Bret Hart is great as a heel, though, so I guess that’s a plus. *1/2
CHRIS ‘SILENT BUT VIOLENT’ BENOIT vs. JJ: Yes, JJ F’ng Dillon wrestled Benoit. No, I’m fuckin’ wit ya. Jeff Jarrett pulled out no stops in this Ladder Match because Scott Hall is injured. On the ‘net they said Ric Flair was offered to fight Benoit in this match but he declined. This was supposedly the only watchable match on the ppv (said the PWTorch), but I’ve never seen a good Ladder Match in WCW and I doubt I’ll start now. **1/2
BRET HART vs. BILL GOLDBERG: They recreated Survivor Series ’97 and ref Roddy Piper rang the bell and screwed Goldberg out of the title even though he didn’t tap out. On Nitro they revealed that Russo felt bad for Bret Hart ever since the ’97 incident so he put the screwjob in his favor this time. Whatever….this match sucked and anyone that paid a cool 33 bills probably has his head in an oven somewhere. Nitro sucked even more when the fucking N.W.O. reunited. Is it too hard to make another name for them? Do we really have to see the N.W.O…again? No. The N.W.O. was good in the beginning, but they ran that plot into the ground. The N.W.O. does not equal ratings…especially when you look at whose in it: JJ, Hart, Hall, and Nash. At least Hogan was a great personality. Hopefully Russo will get so drunk for the Millennium he’ll fall down a flight of stairs and have an epiphany: stop writing this shit and make WCW good again. Forget the N.W.O. Create some major heels and quit fucking around with the backstage hijinks. We want to see serious shit, too, blood and tits, sure, but we don’t want 3 hours of bullshit. Russo: congratulations, you’ve officially killed WCW. Rumors on the ‘net say he’ll be fired in April. Well start counting the days big boy. *
I ripped Russo a new a-hole, didn’t I? Sure, but did you watch Starrcade? It not only sucked, it blew, and then Nitro pulled out no stops and reunited the fucking N.W.O. Jesus F. Christ. All the while WCW is in the gutter, WWF is promising the return of Cactus Jack and has the MSG Royal Rumble to pump up. I give Starrcade ½* and it will definitely win the award for Worst PPV of the Year, even though ‘Mad Dog’ Tearson believed Heroes of Wrestling to be the worst. I predicted an awful 5 out of 11, which is a 45%, an F-. Though me and my brother split all picks so there’s method to my madness. The next big two pay per view is Souled Out in January, where Jeff Jarrett and Benoit have a match which supposedly features a CRAZY stipulation. Hope it’s not as crazy as the Dog Kennel From Hell match the WWF put on in September. ‘Mad Dog’ picked that as the worst match of the year. I can’t disagree. Next Monday WCW has a ppv calibur Nitro titled New Year’s Evil from Houston’s AstroDome. Don’t expect much. I’m looking forward to ECW’s January 9th ppv Guilty as Charged. The hi-light matches include Sandman vs. Rhino, Sabu vs. Van Damme, and Raven & Dreamer vs. The Impact Players. Looks to be one of the year’s best ppv’s already. Of course there’s the ‘Rumble, where a rumored Cactus Jack/HHH main event will take place. I can’t wait. Wanted: Dead. Until then…
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