NJPW KING OF PRO-WRESTLING

Ryogoku, Tokyo, Japan

EL DESPERADO & YOSHINOBU KANEMARU vs. ROPPONGI 3K (10:44): There was a super typhoon that hit Japan on Saturday, which meant changes to this show which was oddly not cancelled. Tokyo supposedly got hit with a lot of flooding but I guess the show must go on! Two wrestlers couldn't make the show, presumably because of flight cancellations. Zack Sabre, Jr. wasn't there but was only scheduled for a superfluous multi-man tag match. Jon Moxley, however, couldn't make it to Japan and was thus stripped of his coveted U.S. title. The Moxley/Juice no DQ match for the title probably would have been one of the better matches on the show, so that was a letdown. The show was a good one, though, save for most of these lame tag matches that New Japan fucking adores for some reason. There doing a Jr. tag tournament starting on Wednesday so I guess this was a preview. El Desperado is back after having his jaw broken in a match against Jun Kasai last Spring. That elusive mask vs. mask match between Dragon Lee and El Desperado certainly seems further away than ever thanks to CMLL firing Dragon Lee and New Japan pulling Dragon Lee out of the Jr. tournament. As for this match...Roppongi 3K is always entertaining so it was at least watchable. El Desperado came out wearing a blood stained shirt that he supposedly was wearing in the match he broke his jaw in. Does he even wear a white shirt in matches? No. So that confused me. Jun Kasai is nuts. Remember the infamous CZW Fans Bring the Weapons match with him like fifteen years ago in Delaware where he got his elbow cut open after being power bombed out of the ring through a stack of fluorescent light tubes? Yep. So it certainly doesn't surprise me that he broke someone's jaw. **1/2

HIROSHI TANAHASHI & TOMOAKI HONMA vs. TOGI MAKABE & TORU YANO (9:43): Tanahashi is in the second match of one of their biggest shows. My how the mighty have fallen. Well Naito was in the third match and Jay White in a nothing six man so I guess this show wasn't as "big" as some may thing. Usually this is there third biggest show after the Dome and Dominion, right? Although, the championship hasn't changed hands on this show in five years (when AJ Styles lost to Tanahashi) so it's been a little stale (and how can we forget last year's epic fail when Ibushi vs. Omega was ruined by inserting Cody into the match). And what's up with Honma? Dude was almost paralyzed with a neck injury and he's still doing twenty diving head butts every match. This wasn't terrible or anything, just forgettable. **

TETSUYA NAITO & SHINGO TAKAGI vs. TAICHI & DOUKI (9:00): Shingo should be battling for the title in the main event. What's wrong with this company? I guess he's still new and a Dragon Gate guy but still, c'mon, what's one of your best wrestlers doing in a lame match against the two stupidest wrestlers on the roster, Taichi and Douki? I will admit that Taichi's ultra stupid entrance always makes me laugh at how ridiculous it is. He's lip singing while holding a microphone obviously not plugged in and he looks like the Phantom of the Opera and he's supposed to be this tough, bad ass heel? Douki is worse. Guy wears a dress that's flapping around while he's trying to do dives and flips. And I can never get past his name. Shingo saved this, though, and Naito is always amusing. There was that. *1/2

MINORU SUZUKI vs. JYUSHIN THUNDER LIGER (17:38): This was a letdown. Liger didn't wear his whole costume, just a new mask and pants. They set this up by doing a ridiculous, hard core run in with a spike and a table so you figured this would be a hardcore match or something. Nope. It was boring. Liger didn't do any of his high flying. Eh. His retirement tour isn't going so well. *

WILL OSPREAY vs. EL PHANTASMO (27:58): The match of the night! Ospreay is just having one of those years. He's already the best wrestler of 2019 and he's still putting out unbelievably awesome matches. They did pretty much everything. Phantasmo did a dive off an entranceway amidst the crowd. The ref got knocked out and Ishimori interfered. They both kicked out of everything. Phantasmo jumped up from the top rope to give Ospreay a Hurricanrana off the top rope by Ospreay slammed him down in mid-air from like ten feet. This was just nuts. Great match. ***1/2

HIROOKI GOTO, TOMOHIRO ISHII & YOSHI-HASHI vs. JAY WHITE, KENTA & YUJIRO TAKAHASHI (12:27): Ishii and Kenta are on a collision course that will probably end at Wrestle Kingdom even though they already wrestled in August in London when Kenta was legit knocked out. Besides the Kenta/Ishii stuff there wasn't much of anything else noteworthy. Kenta has yet to have a great match in New Japan so fingers crossed we'll get it someday. **1/2

LANCE ARCHER vs. JUICE ROBINSON "NO DQ" (14:58): Archer replaced Moxley and won the U.S. title. They broke a bunch of tables and used chairs. This never heated up into anything special or awesome or anything but it was at least semi-entertaining. Archer had a hell of a G1 but maybe he doesn't have anything left after that because this felt like the old, dull Archer. **

KOTA IBUSHI vs. EVIL (24:05): Ugh...a twenty five minute Evil match. What, are you trying to torture us? I can't wait for the day when Shingo takes Evil's spot up here in the prestigious matches. This was for Ibushi's Wrestle Kingdom title shot contract...which makes no sense because he won the whole fucking G1 to get it and all Evil has to do is win one match to get the same thing? Stupid. Has anyone ever won the contract this way? I'll have to investigate. But of course Ibushi won. If Evil ever main events a Dome then I'm done watching this company. I'm also trying to think of the last good Evil match. Has there ever been one? Maybe Ospreay got a good match out of him once. I'll have to do more investigating. Evil sucks. I will admit that the final flurry was entertaining. The problem was that Evil wasn't winning and that sucked any sort of drama out of this. The other problem is that as big as Okada vs. Ibushi is...the previous times they've wrestled it never turned out as epic and as awesome as you'd think. I hope it's not that they don't have chemistry together and I'm totally wrong and their Dome match is the greatest thing in the world ever. **

KAZUCHIKA OKADA vs. SANADA (36:21): Sanada loses to Okada all the time so why are they wrestling again? Oh, right, Sanada beat Okada in the G1 which, let's face it, was meaningless because it wasn't the final or semi-final. These two had a better match earlier in the year. It was either the New Japan Cup final or their match right before that. But this was still good, at least by the end when the crowd was into it and there were a bunch of near falls. One glaring issue with this match was that Sanada had his submission hold locked in for probably ten minutes total in this match...which made a lot of this boring. I can see Sanada winning the title but probably at the February show when it doesn't mean as much. **1/2

WWE HELL IN A CELL

Sacramento

NATALYA vs. LACEY EVANS (9:25): And so the greatest week in the history of wrestling has come to an end. Maybe not "greatest" but it certainly was a huge week. It all started with last Friday's Ring of Honor ppv where Rush beat Matt Taven for the title and afterwards Dragon Lee and Rush were fired from CMLL. There was also CMLL's biggest show of the year where Negro Casas lost his hair in a cage match (the show sucked btw). Then we had the big premiere of RAW which featured stars like Ric Flair and Hogan and a bunch of hot angles like Lesnar destroying Mysterio and his kid and Bobby Lashley making out with Rusev's wife Lana in front of him. Then on Wednesday we had a huge NXT episode that went head to head with the first ever episode of AEW's Dynamite on TNT. Adam Cole defended his NXT title against Matt Riddle in a great match and over on AEW Riho won the women's title and Jon Moxley gave Kenny Omega a DDT through a glass coffee table. Then it was the big Smackdown premiere on FOX on Friday. The Rock showed up to roast Baron Corbin, Kevin Owens retired Shane in a Ladder match, and Brock Lesnar beat Kofi Kingston for the title in five seconds then Cain Valasquez showed up to set up a Lesnar/Cain fight in Saudi Arabia. And now to end this insane week was the WWE ppv Hell in a Cell. Granted, that's more than seven days but you get the gist. It's been a crazy week. AEW also beat NXT in the ratings which was noteworthy. And this show ended with the fans booing. Literally it went off the air with everyone booing. Nice. This first match kind of sums up the WWE. They actually did a really good job this week with surprises and stories and good matches. Better than usual, anyway. But this show went off the rails after the Daniel Bryan match. And this show started off very poor with this awfully boring match. Lacey Evans sucks and Natalya is boring. What'd you expect? -No Stars-

BECKY LYNCH vs. SASHA BANKS "HELL IN A CELL" (21:50): Banks is back after being pissed off and wanting out of her contract. So what happened? She signed a new contract! Or is rumored to. I guess money talks or the WWE was just going to keep her sidelined forever so she was a trapped animal. Either way, she's been the WWE's most entertaining women's wrestler forever and she proved it here. This was the match of the night. They didn't do any high dives off the cage or anything, they just used canes and chairs and a table but it was brutal and wild and a hell of match. I suppose they couldn't have ended the show with this because all of the promotion has been about Bray Wyatt but still, this should've closed the show. Lynch kept her title when she submitted Banks. ***

DANIEL BRYAN & ROMAN REIGNS vs. ERICK ROWAN & LUKE HARPER (16:45): This was a wild brawl and very entertaining. Reigns ended up spearing Rowan through one of the announce tables which was cool. A lot of action and the crowd popped big for all of Reigns' spots and did the Yes! chant when Bryan wanted to hug Reigns at the end. Entertaining stuff. **1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. ALI (12:10): Ali lost and didn't look as good as he usually does against 205Live dudes. Ali is awesome, though, so it's kind of sad seeing him in a dull match like this. At least put him in there with someone he can work with doing the high flying style like Ricochet or Mysterio. 1/2*

ASUKA & KAIRI SANE vs. ALEXA BLISS & NIKKI CROSS (10:25): Ugh. Asuka and Kairi Sane's tag team name is The Kabuki Warriors. Isn't that racist? Maybe it's not but it sounds racist. It also sounds fucking stupid. Well they won the "coveted" women's tag team titles which have become a joke and, let's face it, were never really turned into anything worthwhile in their short existence so far. I'd have rather seen Sane vs. Asuka. 1/2*

THE VIKING RAIDERS & BRAUN STROWMAN vs. THE O.C. (8:15): Remember how entertaining The War Raiders were in New Japan and Ring of Honor only a year ago? Fuck me but they suck now. What happened? Even The O.C. (which...no, doesn't have anything to do with the great FOX teenage show from years ago) is pretty monotonous these days even though AJ was one of the best wrestlers in the world not too long ago. I'm still not entirely sure why Braun Strowman was in this match and teaming with The Viking Raiders. *

CHAD GABLE vs. KING CORBIN (12:40): There were a bunch of unannounced matches on this show because the WWE spent so much time hyping up Smackdown that they forgot they had a ppv. This was one of them. Or was it? There were four unannounced matches and I'm not even sure which ones they were. Baron Corbin beat Gable on RAW two weeks ago to win the King of the Ring. So this was their third match. Gable beat Corbin after Corbin won the KOTR so I guess this was a rubber match. I will admit that Corbin can be pretty funny when he does heel stuff on the mic but he's never been a good wrestler. Gable tried hard as usual but even he couldn't put together a quality match with Corbin. 1/2*

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. BAYLEY (10:15): Flair won the title in another yawn inducing match. I can see why the WWE's ratings have plummeted in the last year and a lot of people are dying for an alternative like AEW. Flair is a great wrestler. And Bayley had some great matches on NXT. So why is their title match so lame? Give me strength. 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS vs. THE FIEND "HELL IN A CELL" (17:30): I already noted that the show ended with the entire arena booing. I didn't mention that this match was held under red lights that were so stupid and awful looking that it boggles my mind that they decided to go with that bad idea. It looked terrible! And ridiculous! So if the regular lights were on we'd see that Bray Wyatt is just a dude in a clown mask and not scary? We kind of already know that, idiots. They really didn't do much of anything interesting in this match. Rollins finally put a ladder on Bray's head when Bray was lying on the mat and then Seth threw a tool box at the ladder. Okay. Then Seth got a sledgehammer and hit the ladder with it so the ref called for the bell. Yep, a no contest in a Hell in a Cell match. But Mick Foley falling off the top of the cage twice wasn't a no contest? Or Shane jumping off the top of the cell in two different matches wasn't a no contest? Or Dean Ambrose and Rollins falling off the side of the cell through the announce table wasn't a no contest? Or Rikishi falling off the top of the cell onto a truck filled with sawdust wasn't a no contest? Okay, that last one was super dumb and obviously didn't deserve to have a ref stoppage. So the ref stopping this was lame but I guess it was because they didn't want either guy to lose. The Fiend got up anyway and attacked Rollins after the ref stopped it so that was stupid. Someone online posted a shot of the crowd chanting, "Refund," after the match. Nice end to the show! -No Stars-

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS

Charlotte, NC

DREW GULAK vs. HUMBERTO CARRILLO vs. LINCE DORADO (10:05): Wrestling is about to get interesting. This week, NXT starts a live 2 hour show on the USA network every Wednesday night. And in October, AEW starts their 2 hour live Wednesday night show on TNT and Smackdown moves to FOX on Friday night. This is the beginning before the storm. Will everything totally change? Will the WWE go down in flames and die? It's been pretty much running on fumes lately anyway, and now that the NFL is back the RAW ratings are taking a nose dive. But what about the product? It's been pretty stale for years, right? Summerslam was a monotonous bore. This show was surprisingly better, albeit it was more of the same really and an average show, although entertaining in spots and there certainly wasn't anything completely awful. This opener on the pre-show was the match of the night. Of course it was because Vince probably doesn't know that 205Live exists and thus can't sneak his greedy paws into it and turn it into mush. Gulak isn't particularly exciting, but this match also happened to feature two luchadores who are dynamic and fun to watch. A lot of big dives and flips and near falls and it was great. What happens to 205Live now is up for debate. Everyone seems to think it will be moved to Full Sail University and go on before or after NXT, which would be a vast improvement. Although the problem is what happens to guys when they "graduate" from 205Live? See the next match to view the bone chilling answer. And what the hell happened to Buddy Murphy? ***

AJ STYLES vs. CEDRIC ALEXANDER (4:55): Alexander used to be on 205Live and now he's losing to AJ in less than five minutes on the pre-show. I suppose that tells you what Vince thinks of 205Live (wait a minute...you said earlier that Vince doesn't know 205Live exists). These two could have had a match of the year if they had gone thirty minutes. They didn't. And that's the problem with the WWE these days and why a hungry, rabid fanbase is about to explode when AEW starts on TV. As for this actual match: I don't even remember what the hell happened. It was a flash. And why is one of their biggest stars on the pre-show? 1/2*

ROBERT ROODE & DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. SETH ROLLINS & BRAUN STROWMAN (9:40): Rollins and Strowman lost the RAW tag titles to Roode and Ziggler even though I never remember Rollins and Strowman ever winning the titles. That tells you all you need to know about the coveted RAW tag team titles. This was at least entertaining though nothing special. I will say that this PPV was greatly helped by the Charlotte crowd that was not only loud and into every match but seemed to actually be interested in the show and invested in the WWE. Those dumb hicks, right? But it's actually refreshing after watching so many WWE events before a bored, tired, silent crowd or one that chants, "AEW! AEW!" after Kevin Owens was fired on Smackdown last week (if you don't like the WWE why are you going to their events?). **1/2

BAYLEY vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR (3:45): Short match. Bayley threw Charlotte into a turnbuckle that was missing the padding and then pinned her and ran away. Nice. Would it kill pro-wrestling to have a heel actually win by not cheating? I suppose it happens sometimes. Hell, it just happened at AEW's All Out when PAC submitted Kenny Omega clean. It's just sad to see Bayley be a champ but also be a bad wrestler. 1/2*

THE REVIVAL vs. THE NEW DAY (10:15): Usually these two teams have good matches but this one was flat for whatever reason. The Revival won the Smackdown titles. I could swear that they're supposed to be on RAW, though. *

ALEXA BLISS & NIKKI CROSS vs. MANDY ROSE & SONYA DEVILLE (9:05): Mandy Rose is like a model so of course she's a terrible wrestler. Nikki Cross is probably the only one that's a half decent wrestler. At least Bliss is fairly decent and being a heel. I cringed when Bliss got destroyed by the leg-sweep-and-legs-kicked-out-from-under-her-at-the-same-time move (I'm sure it has a name) because Bliss was recently sidelined because of excessive concussions. So let's do a move where she's quickly slammed down on the back of her head! Why the fuck not! Ugh. Bliss and Cross retained the women's tag team title. *

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. THE MIZ (9:35): Sammi Zayn might just be the best thing the WWE has. I guess they're at least using him...although does he even wrestle anymore? You know he's a really good wrestler, right? Do they know that? Lately he's been Nakamura's heel manager even though Vince hates managers and rarely uses them (Paul Heyman is probably the only other one these days). This match sucked but during the match, Sami took the microphone and was making all kinds of jokes and mocking The Miz and doing a play by play during the match. And it wasn't on commentary at the announce table...he had the live mic that the whole crowd could hear. It was hilarious and preposterous (there was a match going on of course while he was talking). Since this show featured all of the titles on the line I'm assuming it was for the IC title. And The Miz sucks worse as a face, if that's possible. *1/2

SASHA BANKS vs. BECKY LYNCH (20:00): This was a good match. Not surprising, as Banks is the WWE's best main roster woman wrestler. She tried to quit and they wouldn't let her so she sat out all summer but is back for some reason. Lynch got DQ'd because she used a chair but she retained the title. They ended knocking out the referee and brawling up and down the arena and out on the concourse. It's so funny seeing them fake punching each other up on the stairs amidst the crowd and everyone is looking at their phones filming it instead of just looking at it. Every "great" moment has to downloaded and then showcased to the world for some reason. Why is that? Validation? Strange how our culture has become that way. The next PPV is the Hell in a Cell. Let's hope these two are in one. It'd be interesting. **1/2

KOFI KINGSTON vs. RANDY ORTON (20:50): Not as terrible as some of their previous matches. Thank the crowd for this, as they were into this match and every near fall and into Kofi. Why was this North Carolina crowd so into this show? Because it wasn't that great of a show. Is life in Charlotte that fucking boring? Or is the WWE just really popular in Charlotte? I don't think it's that popular, as one half of the arena was obviously closed as they intricately and carefully never shot one side of the building. But the crowd loved this basic, no frills match. It was okay. Kofi's reign will go down as one of the least exciting runs ever I think. **

ERICK ROWAN vs. ROMAN REIGNS "NO DQ MATCH" (17:25): Tells you a lot about Kofi and Orton, no? That they don't even get to go on second to last? Reigns is the big dog so he has to go on close to the top. This match was bad. They used the ringside steps. Reigns went through the announce table and another table out on the arena floor. The ending had Luke Harper returning and helping Rowan beat Reigns. I thought Harper was quitting but I guess they threw money at him to return like they did with Gallows and Anderson. Money talks! Why Daniel Bryan wasn't on this show is beyond me. He was supposed to wrestle Reigns at Summerslam and that never happened and now it might never happen. I'm still sad we'll never see Bryan in the G1...but at least put him on this show. I guess the table breaks were amusing. The rest? Eh. *1/2

SETH ROLLINS vs. BRAUN STROWMAN (11:00): Short match for a title main event, right? Have they ever given Strowman the title? I kind of think they never have. And why is that? Kind of weird as he's supposed to be this unstoppable monster who apparently is always stopped. They did give him two kick outs on Rollins' finishing move, though. Rollins had to give Strowman three Curb Stomps to pin him. That actually woke me up when Strowman kicked out at 1 on Rollins' finishing move. What a finishing move! Remember how nobody has ever kicked out of Kenny Omega's finishing move? And so it built his finishing move, The One Winged Angel, into this awesome thing? Well Rollins' finishing move is pretty much the exact opposite now. Nice. I guess Strowman is so big that he can't do a long match. But Walter just did a 45 minute match in NXT UK. Granted, Strowman is no Walter. But this is the main event for the title on a PPV! We need more than 11 minutes, idiots. We need a fucking epic masterpiece! After the match, Bray Wyatt, aka The Fiend, gave Rollins the Sister Abigail by the entrance. That was kind of cool. *1/2

AEW ALL OUT

Chicago

WOMEN'S BATTLE ROYAL (NYLA ROSE): This was an insane weekend for wrestling. On Saturday there were three big shows. NXT UK had a Takeover show from Wales. New Japan had a show from London. And then there was this, AEW's second PPV and their last show before they debut on TNT in October. Considering college football also started on Saturday, the best fighter in  the world (Lomanchenko won at the 02 Arena in London on Saturday) was fighting, and the U.S. Open was going on. It's too bloody much. I kind of want to see the sun. I still haven't watched a second of the NJPW show, although I did watch the NXT UK main event, which was a really good, 42 minute title match between Tyler Bate and Walter, who retained. As for this AEW show...it was great, but not as good as Double or Nothing. This Chicago crowd wasn't as hot as the Vegas crowd. I guess because in Vegas everybody's on vacation, it's an earlier start time so they're more awake, and it's Vegas so they're probably fucking blitzed and don't have to drive. This show started with an hour, free pre-show. This battle royal was never boring but was never awesome or anything. Awesome Kong was in it. Cody's wife was in it. Will Ospreay's lover, Bea Preistely, was in it. Nyla Rose, a big girl, won, and will face Riho on the TV debut for the title. **

PRIVATE PARTY vs. ANGELICO & JACK EVANS (11:35): This was an excellent match. The one dude in Private Party wrestles with sunglasses on, which I think is hilarious. Angelico and Jack Evans have apparently held the AAA tag titles in the past. What this turned into was just a bunch of wild, fast, intricate, creative moves on top of a bunch of high flying. It was sheer spectacle. ***1/2

SOCAL UNCENSORED vs. MARKO STUNT, LUCHASAURUS & JUNGLE BOY (11:45): This was another awesome match with more of the same; a bunch of creative, thrilling moves one after the other and a bunch of high flying. Luchasaurus does a bunch of crazy stuff for a tall guy like the standing moonsault and the Matrix bend-backwards-to-avoid-a-punch maneuver (I'm sure there's a name for that...somewhere). The crowd fucking roared in approval for everything Luchasaurus did. Jungle Boy, who's excellent, didn't get to do much here, though it was fast paced and wild. ***1/2

PAC vs. KENNY OMEGA (23:20): This was supposed to be the big Jon Moxley vs. Omega match but Moxley got a staph infection during the G1 so had to pull out. So we got what I figured would be a better match. It wasn't...but it was definitely Omega's best match so far in AEW. It was kind of weird that this went on so early considering these two superstars are used to being in the main event for a title when in Japan (PAC lost the Dragon Gate title in July...Omega lost the NJPW title in January). Omega did his patented over the top rope dive and hit is feet on the metal guardrail. PAC did a moonsault off of the top rope and hit his feet on the guardrail. Maybe they forget that this isn't Japan where if there is a guardrail it's like twenty feet away. For whatever reason the crowd was not super hot for this. And it never heated up into anything like a classic Omega/Okada bout or anything. This was about as good as PAC's matches in Dragon Gate over the last year. Good but not great. PAC won with a submission hold which the crowd loathed. ***

JIMMY HAVOC vs. JOEY JANELA vs. DARBY ALLIN (15:00): This match was insane. AEW, at least tonight, seemed to be veering into becoming ECW. Which isn't a bad thing...but I kind of hoped it would turn into something like New Japan, which good, long, dramatic matches that the WWE never does. Unfortunately the crowds so far just want tables and blood. Well they got it here. I'm not sure I can even attempt to describe the mayhem in this match. They put thumbtacks in Havoc's mouth then taped his mouth shut then taped him to a chair then Allin did a flip over the top rope and onto Havoc on the chair. Yep. They used a staple gun. Havoc gave Janela paper cuts between his fingers and on his mouth with a sheet of paper which, let's be honest, the crowd popped big for but it was stupid. Allin did a skateboard trick from the top rope onto Janela's back and the bottom of the skateboard had thumbtacks on it. I guess I could just describe everything but it might sound like I'm a crazy person. Allin did a back drop with a wooden barrel from the top rope onto the steel stairs and the barrel shattered into a million pieces. Janela did a gruesome over the top rope DDT type of slam on Allin through a ringside table. This was truly a clusterfuck of epic proportions. And perhaps the best match of the show. ***1/2

THE DARK ORDER vs. BEST FRIENDS (13:40): The Dark Order just doesn't get much of a crowd response. I'm not sure why, because as The Super Smash Brothers, they've had some great matches in the past with The Young Bucks in Ring of Honor. They're definitely entertaining but the crowd doesn't like them for whatever reason. The Best Friends are popular but not the most entertaining to be honest. This wasn't bad or anything just kind of okay, especially going after that last match. Post-match, Orange Cassidy showed up after the lights went out and did a dive through the ropes while keeping his hands in his pockets. I guess his gimmick is he's too cool? **1/2

RIHO vs. HIKARU SHIDA (13:35): The crowd actually made more noise for this match than the last, which, let's face it, is astounding. Two Japanese girls wrestling? It wasn't great or anything but Riho, the young, skinny, small girl is great. She's actually teaming up with Omega in a tag match for DDT in November. And she'll probably end up being AEW's first women's champ since she won here and will face Nyla Rose for the title. **1/2

CODY vs. SHAWN SPEARS (16:20): Spears used to be in the WWE. Remember him? He was called the Perfect Ten or something stupid? For whatever reason, AWE crowds love Cody. I'm not exactly sure why. He's not a particularly good wrestler. But in this company he's a fucking star. And while this match wasn't much of anything, there was a ton of outside interference from legends that brought the crowd to an orgiastic frenzy. Tully Blanchard, who used to wrestle Dusty Rhodes a lot back in the day, was in Spears' corner. Eventually Arn Anderson came out to slam Spears which got the loudest pop of the night. All of this spectacle made this feel like a big time PPV match. And, Jesus Christ, when was the last time a WWE match felt like that? **1/2

THE LUCHA BROTHERS vs. THE YOUNG BUCKS "LADDER MATCH" (21:00): This match reminded me of the Naito/Ibushii match from Dominion in June. That match was incredible, one of the year's best, but afterwards I thought that I never want to see them do it again. After this match I thought the same thing. Never do a ladder match again with these two teams. They're going to fucking kill each other. There were two spots that were so brutal I thought someone was going to die. And I'm not even talking about the Canadian Destroyer that Pentagon did on one of the Jackson's through a table from the top of a ladder. Are you kidding me? That has to be the craziest spot in the history of wrestling. Seriously. One of the Jackson's was supposed to fall of a ladder and through two ringside tables but his foot caught the rope and it whiplashed him straight down hard and he landed through the table headfirst. That was brutal and oh-so hard to watch. He's lucky he's not paralyzed or dead. The other spot was when Pentagon pushed a ladder out from one of the Jackson's and he fell right onto the ladder in a sickening thud. There was also a Pentagon package piledriver on one of the Jackson's onto a ladder bridge. This was just a car crash and while it was entertaining and exciting and all of that by the end it was just difficult to see so much suffering. There match at Double or Nothing, which didn't have ladders or anything and was just a wrestling match, was still insane but not this insane and was a better match. This was the 6th time this year these teams wrestled each other and I think it's hopefully the last. The Lucha Brothers retained their AAA tag titles. After this match, TNA's LAX showed up to a crowd that sort of, kind of knew who they were. ***1/2

CHRIS JERICHO vs. ADAM PAGE (26:25): And now we come to the dud of the night which also happened to be the longest and the main event. Jericho won the title here in a long, mostly dull, slow match that never turned into much of anything. Page did his moonsault off of the edge of the ring and Jericho hit him with a Code Breaker. Jericho bled. Jericho wasn't as fat as he was in his previous matches so I guess he hit the gym since Dominion. But he's still 48 and still slow and while making the big star the champ makes sense...does anyone really want to see title, main event matches with Jericho? Nope. Page has never been a main event star in my mind and he didn't exactly prove it here. Granted, there's not much to do with Jericho besides brawl. Naito learned this, as his match earlier this year at Wrestle Kingdom against Jericho was actually, shockingly pretty good, probably because Naito is a crazy person who will take DDT's on ringside tables. So Jericho is the champ and now we have to wait a month until the TV debut on TNT. This show was crazy and great. Will we get sick of it when it's on every week, though? I guess we'll see. After all, every great or popular TV show either dies or turns into something as boring as RAW. *

WWE SUMMERSLAM

Toronto

DREW GULAK vs. ONEY LORCAN (8:45): I was on vacation during Summerslam weekend so I missed a ton of wrestling and it took me about a week to catch up. There was of course the last three nights of New Japan's G1 tournament. Usually the A and B block finales are best of the year type matches, but this year they weren't. Probably blame Jay White for that, as he's not really on par with the likes of Okada, Omega, Naito, Ibushi, Tanahashi, Ishii...I guess I could go on. The Ibushi/Okada match was good not great...so that doesn't entirely give me hope for their inevitable Dome main event next year. Ibushi and Okada are both awesome, but for whatever reason against each other there nowhere near Omega/Okada. The final had Jay White vs. Ibushi with Ibushi winning. That match was great late but not as good as last year's Ibushi/Tanahashi final. Ishii and Ospreay were the MVP's of the tournament and Shingo Takagi was probably the close second. Ring of Honor also put on a big show on Friday night of Summerslam weekend in the same city, Toronto, as Summerslam and Takeover. While it was an entertaining show main evented by a Ladder War match between The Uso's and The Briscoe's, the crowd size was small and disappointing. Ring of Honor has a major problem these days with getting crowds to their shows and I can't really envision them existing in the future. The funny thing about that is that this will probably be ROH's biggest money making year ever thanks to the Madison Square Garden sell-out in April. The other big show of the weekend was the Takeover show, a typical, entertaining NXT show, although it wasn't as good a show as they usually put on. Every match was good except for the Shayna Baszler match. The main event was another great match between Johnny Gargano and Adam Cole, although they did a stupid two out of three falls match where one fall was a wrestling match, one a street fight, and one a weapons filled cage. These two are the rare types that can put on a four star match without gimmicks so the weapons filled cage wasn't needed and detracted. That match went 46 minutes...so it was definitely epic. And here we finally come to Summerslam, the dud of the bunch. I suppose after watching awesome matches every night in the G1 and then watching Takeover...it's tough to give a shit about the WWE main roster. It's honestly as bad and as lifeless as I can ever remember. The main event was good, although not as half as good as those great Lesnar matches five or so years ago when CM Punk faced Lesnar at Summerslam and John Cena faced Lesnar in his re-debut. And how can you forget that awesome Royal Rumble match with Cena vs. Lesnar vs. Rollins? So the show started with the 205Live title match. 205Live has just gotten unwatchable. I suppose it's because the champ, Gulak, is a bore. This was typically average. *

BUDDY MURPHY vs. APOLLO CREWS (4:20): Murphy made 205Live great...then he left and disappeared only to reappear facing Crews in a four minute, nothing match. Huh? Murphy is a star and should be the champ and main eventing. Oh, well. Murphy did some cool stuff here but no one cared. *1/2

ALEXA BLISS & NIKKI CROSS vs. THE ICONICS (6:15): I think the one problem with the WWE is they have all these lame, short matches. Seriously, when was the last time a match of the year candidate was under ten minutes? Has it ever happened? You have to build drama and suspense and get people invested. Whatever. I suppose it's good that this match didn't go thirty. Bliss and Cross retained the Women's tag titles...titles I swore The Iconics never lost. Okay. This was as awful as one would expect. 1/2*

BECKY LYNCH vs. NATALYA (12:35): This wasn't terrible. Natalya is Canadian so the crowd was somewhat into this. They popped big when she put Lynch into the Sharpshooter. Then Lynch won. **

GOLDBERG vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (1:50): Okay. Why is Goldberg facing Ziggler? Does it matter? I mean...Goldberg is a legend and only comes out to wrestle once in a blue moon...so, you know, why not make it special? Not just some random, early-on-the-card, superfluous match? It was short. And, hell, a lot better than Goldberg's last match, his Undertaker match in Saudi Arabia that was perhaps the worst match in the history of wrestling. The crowd liked this. Goldberg did a sick spear. It pointless fun. **1/2

AJ STYLES vs. RICOCHET (13:00): There are a lot of reasons that the WWE depresses me, but nothing worse than seeing them utterly humiliate, embarrass, and destroy Ricochet, who only a few years ago was one of the best and most exciting wrestlers in the world. Tonight they made him wear this stupid, Tron-like body suit that was so stupid looking it made me cringe in embarrassment. There's no way in hell he wanted to wear that. Did he? He looked like a fucking moron. Not to mention that AJ Styles vs. Ricochet didn't have a good match. In what world do these two not have a good match? In the WWE universe. I guess it wasn't awful. But it was fucking depressing as hell. When's Ricochet's contract up? *1/2

BAYLEY vs. EMBER MOON (10:00): Bayley is the Women's champ. But there's two women's champs. So she's, like, the lesser champ. I'm grasping at straws. This was another awful match. This show sucked. Did you figure that out yet? Maybe I should have reviewed the G1 tournament this year like I did last year. Although fast-forwarding through Bad Luck Fale's matches has its perks. -No Stars-

KEVIN OWENS vs. SHANE MCMAHON (9:20): If Owens lost he had to quit the WWE. That's like a reward these days. He should've just laid down and taken the pin! If Shane lost...nothing happened. Nice stipulation! Makes zero sense. They really need to forget about this "evil boss" storyline with the McMahons that's, like, twenty years too old. I will say that Elias singing his Toronto sucks song before this was funny. Elias was the special guest enforcer or something during this match. Seriously, what the hell is going on with this company? And they expect to go on FOX and deliver big ratings? Oh, boy, are they fucked. *1/2

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. TRISH STRATUS (16:40): Trish is 43. I'm not entirely sure why she's back and wrestling this one-off. It actually got good late (this was the longest match on the show). The crowd was semi into it. The place was sold out, so any sort of crowd reaction helped the matches that were actually not half bad. **

KOFI KINGSTON vs. RANDY ORTON (16:45): This ended as a double count out. Ugh. Was making Kofi the champ a mistake? I don't know...because his match to win the title was awesome...but every match since has been terrible. Orton is too old to be in good matches anymore, so maybe it's not Kofi's fault. But, seriously, a double count out? If they're trying to save something for a rematch...then do they forget that this is supposed to be the 2nd biggest show of the year? What the fuck are you saving a rematch for? Some dumb B-ppv no one is going to watch or care about? 1/2*

THE FIEND vs. FINN BALOR (3:25): Bray Wyatt is now The Fiend. His gimmick is kind of scary and kind of basically Sami Callihan. It surprised me that Wyatt actually wrestled with his evil clown mask on. I'm not sure how far they expect to go with this "character" when he's going to eventually have to wrestle longer matches and not just be a stupid, scary gimmick thing. I feel bad for Finn Balor. Remember a few years ago at Summerslam he WON THE FUCKING TITLE? Yeah, even the WWE forgets that apparently. *1/2

SETH ROLLINS vs. BROCK LESNAR (13:25): This was entertaining. And this was the longest Brock Lesnar match in years. Rollins did a frog splash from the top rope to Lesnar down on the announce table. That was cool and, also, been-there-done-that. They kind of sort of did a back and forth which is the only thing that makes Lesnar matches work (the WWE probably doesn't realize this). If it's just Lesnar beating you down and then finally a miraculous comeback it's boring. So this had Rollins do a little more offense and eventually win the title. I'm not sure why he even lost the title last month if he was just going to win it back. This show was atrociously dull but at least this main event was pretty good. **1/2

WWE EXTREME RULES

Philly

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. FINN BALOR (7:40): Extreme Rules? More like Extreme Crap. God was this show a bore. None of the matches were really awful, just the entire show was a lifeless pile of nothingness. I suppose Lesnar winning the title to close the show gave it some notoriety...although Lesnar being the champion yet again isn't very exciting anymore. This match was early on the hour long pre-show. The whole night started at 6 and ended a little before 11. No, we do not want a 5 hour B-PPV. This match was short and pretty basic.WWE is awful these days if you haven't realized that yet. *

DREW GULAK vs. TONY NESE (7:25): So this was a gigantic weekend for wrestling. There were G1 shows on Saturday and Sunday. AXS TV showed the Saturday G1 show on tape delay in a two hour block from 9 to 11 PM on Saturday night. AEW had their third show from Jacksonville on Saturday night and it was free on the Bleacher Report Live App. And Evolve, an indy promotion, had their 10th anniversary show live on the WWE Network on Saturday night. It was the first non-WWE show on the network. The reason it was on was because Gulak faced Matt Riddle and Tozawa faced Adam Cole for the NXT title on the show. It also took place at the ECW Arena in Philly...and this show, Extreme Rules, was in Philly the next night on Sunday so the WWE crew was already in town anyway. So Gulak had two big bouts this weekend. Both were average at best, surprisingly. Maybe it's because Gulak isn't that good? Hmmm. This match was one of the worst 205Live PPV matches in recent memory. They're usually pretty entertaining. I don't know...it was too short and not very exciting. Gulak retained the Cruiserweight title. *1/2

THE UNDERTAKER & ROMAN REIGNS vs. SHANE McMAHON & DREW McINTYRE (17:00): Well the crowd loved The Undertaker...even though he's old and cumbersome and shouldn't be wrestling anymore. I will say that he looked better than he did against Goldberg in Saudi Arabia in what has to be the worst match of the year (or any year). The Undertaker tried to pick up Shane at the end and couldn't so he tried again and could do it so he delivered the Tombstone Piledriver and won. This was supposed to be a hardcore match or a no DQ match or something. Shane jumped off the top rope and did an elbow drop onto The Undertaker on the announce table. Shane also did a coast to coast drop kick onto a trashcan and The Undertaker. I'm still not sure why Reigns and The Undertaker were teaming up. Remember that Reigns retired The Undertaker in the main event of a WrestleMania a few years back? I suppose this wasn't terrible. That's about the best I can say. **

THE REVIVAL vs. THE USO'S (12:35): These two have had great matches in the past. I'm not entirely sure why this just turned out mediocre. Every match from this on just seemed to be plodding and lifeless. Maybe after the crowd cheered for everything The Undertaker did they decided that they did enough cheering and caring for the night. *1/2

ALEISTER BLACK vs. CAESARO (9:45): If these two put on a thirty minute, main event title match somewhere it probably would be a four star, excellent match. Well a nine minute, meaningless match in the middle of a long night just isn't going to cut it. Black looked good. Caesaro is a master. But this was just too short to turn into anything worthwhile. **

BAYLEY vs. NIKKI CROSS & ALEXA BLISS (10:30): I was taking out the trash during most of this match (I should have also taken this match out! To the trash! Get it?), so I didn't hear the announcer's explanation as to who would be the champion if Nikki or Alexa had pinned Bayley. I guess who ever pinned her? But that wouldn't make sense because it wasn't a triple threat match it was a handicap match. The reason it was a handicap match was because Alexa had a bunch of concussions lately and they wanted her to lay low. This was by far the worst match on the show...although, granted, I didn't see the whole thing. 1/2*

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. BOBBY LASHLEY "LAST MAN STANDING" (17:30): Ugh. The finale had Braun slamming Lashley through a completely stupid, fake looking cardboard box set in the crowd. It was so fake looking and they knew it so they didn't even show the landing and didn't light it properly. They brawled all over the arena and out on the concourse for what seemed like hours. Who knew that two big men battling all over the arena for hours would be boring? Maybe if they had actually done something exciting around the arena besides fake punch each other and toss each other into walls. Is that exciting to you? There was a, "This is awesome!" chant during this match...but there was also one during the Daniel Bryan match and, let's face it, neither were awesome. *1/2

THE NEW DAY vs. DANIEL BRYAN & ROWAN vs. HEAVY MACHINERY (14:00): This was the best match on the show. Daniel Bryan & Rowan had a good match against Heavy Machinery last month on the PPV. And throw in The New Day and you at least get some entertainment. They weren't exactly re-inventing the wheel but it was fun. **1/2

AJ STYLES vs. RICOCHET (16:30): So what happened to Ricochet exactly? Did the WWE just neuter him like they do everyone? Because he used to be one of my favorite wrestlers and he used to be exciting and in great matches. AJ won the title here. What title? I think it was the U.S. title. Isn't AJ Styles like a big, main event star? So why's he have the U.S. title? I give up. If Ricochet and AJ Styles can't have a great match, then nobody in the WWE can. *1/2

KEVIN OWENS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (0:30): Wasn't Dolph battling Kofi for the title last month? So why is he losing in thirty seconds to Owens? Owens now has a new storyline. He's doing the CM Punk Pipe Bomb schtick and this time he's against Shane McMahon. I guess the WWE's solution to their dying ratings and product is to reach back into the closet for ideas that worked years ago. They hired Eric Bischoff to run Smackdown because I guess he was successful in the late 90's? They put Heyman in charge of RAW because I guess he was successful with ECW in the late 90's? Becky Lynch is basically doing the 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin gimmick. Does this company not believe in new, fresh ideas? Well, obviously not since Lesnar is the new champ. 1/2*

KOFI KINGSTON vs. SOMOA JOE (9:45): Yawn. I guess Kofi's title run is officially a disappointment. 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS & BECKY LYNCH vs. BARON CORBIN & LACEY EVANS/ 
BROCK LESNAR vs. SETH ROLLINS: I think even Wikipedia got bored with this match because this was the only match that they didn't print how long it went. I'll just tell you: it was too fucking long. This match was super boring and went on forever and nothing remotely exciting happened. Seriously, though, what did you expect? The main event of a WWE PPV is Seth Rollins & Becky Lynch vs. Baron Corbin & Lacey Evans. That's a bad RAW main event, not a PPV main event. The WWE even knew it, as they flew in Lesnar to cash in his Money in the Bank title to beat Rollins after the match and win the title. The crowd did pop when Lesnar came out...though when he pinned Rollins the crowd didn't seem that exciting. The whole, Lesnar is an unstoppable beast thing is old hat and oh-so tired. Lesnar has only been exciting when he's been in long, back and forth matches. When he just comes out and destroys someone and wins it's awful. So of course they did that. As for the match that proceeded the Lesnar cash-in: it was a no DQ match or a hardcore match or something. They used Singapore canes. They did a double table spot where Lynch went off the apron onto Lacey and a table and Rollins did a Frog Splash onto Corbin through a table from the top rope. The big moment that seemed to wake up the crowd was when Corbin gave Becky Lynch an End of Days. I guess this is shocking since the WWE rarely has men hit women. So Lesnar is the champ and the WWE is still really, really bad. The only thing extreme about this show was how extremely dull it was. *1/2

WWE STOMPING GROUNDS

Tacoma, Washington

DREW GULAK vs. AKIRA TOZAWA vs. TONY NESE (11:20): This was the only match on the card I thought would be any good and it turned out to be the best match of the night. A better company would have Tozawa vs. Ricochet in the main event for the title. The WWE is sadly not that company. Gulak ended up winning the 205Live title that Nese had. This was all action and the hot crowd made this even better. There were two particular head bumps that made me wonder if Nese had been watching Naito/Ibushi matches recently. Not a good thing! So Gulak is now the champ of a show nobody watches or cares about. Kind of sad that the best match of the show featured wrestlers relegated to the purgatory of 205Live. ***

BECKY LYNCH vs. LACEY EVANS (11:30): Evans was amusing in the main event later on as the heel referee. Maybe they should just make her Corbin's manager or something, because she can do everything but wrestle. She's a pretty blonde so of course they gave her a push...but this match was a complete bore and Evans just seems flustered and lost amidst the wrestling moves. Charlotte Flair wasn't even on this show. I'd be happy if Lynch faced Charlotte on every PPV until the end of time to be honest. 1/2*

KEVIN OWENS & SAMI ZAYN vs. THE NEW DAY (11:05): Good match. Zayn and Owens together are two of the only watchable things on RAW these days. It probably helps that they can both actually wrestle in entertaining matches. The crowd was hot for this (later on they died and started chanting various, random things) and Xavier Woods and Big E. are usually always in fast-paced, fun matches. This was bell to bell non-stop action. ***

RICOCHET vs. SAMOA JOE (12:25): If these two had wrestled four years ago in PWG it might have been the greatest match ever. Hell, if these two wrestled in another company today it would have been better. It was a good match but never turned into anything great. Ricochet, for whatever reason, just seems like a shell of his former self. He still does most of his flips and leaps and jumps and dives but for whatever reason it doesn't connect in the way that Will Ospreay's arsenal of maneuvers does. If you remember that infamous Ospreay/Ricochet match from a few years ago...they were pretty much on par with each other, yet now Ospreay is the best wrestler in the world and Ricochet is perhaps a little better than okay. He did usually excel in multi-man tag matches in New Japan, so maybe he was just never cut out for single matches. Or maybe Joe is just too old these days. The first half was a beat-down bore, then the second half was fairly dramatic. Ricochet won the U.S. title and looked like he just won the lottery. It's not that great of a title, kid. **1/2

DANIEL BRYAN & ROWAN vs. HEAVY MACHINERY (14:25): Good match, thanks mostly to the loud and proud Washington crowd. Bryan was born in Aberdeen, Washington so of course they showered him with approval and cheers and booed the good guys. They even cheered for Rowan. Heavy Machinery are pretty much two fat/fun guys. This wasn't exactly anything special, fresh, or new. But it was watchable. **1/2

BAYLEY vs. ALEXA BLISS (10:35): And here is where the show, which was pretty good up to this point, fell off a cliff. This was perhaps the worst match ever. Well, not really, but it was still awful. Bliss has never been and never will be in a good match ever. Bayley should just go back to NXT and wrestle Sasha Banks, because that's the last time she was ever relevant. This was for the Women's Title, which Bayley retained. This was simply the definition of boring. -No Stars-

ROMAN REIGNS vs. DREW McINTYRE (17:20): This match was also awful...until the last few minutes. The end was somewhat exciting with some near-falls and Shane giving Reigns the coast-to-coast dropkick when the ref was knocked out. These two are just both so fucking dull, lifeless, and mediocre. *

KOFI KINGSTON vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER "STEEL CAGE MATCH" (20:00): I'm really not sure what match was worse, this or the Bayley/Bliss one. This match was so God-awful boring. Ziggler showed up out of nowhere last month to wrestle Kofi for the title in Saudi Arabia after being gone for seemingly years. Now they're in a steel cage match that put everyone in the Tacoma Dome to sleep. Yes, Kofi had a great match at 'Mania against Bryan. Perhaps that was a fluke, because he definitely doesn't have the chops to put on great, main event matches. Nobody did anything suicidal off the cage. The finish had Dolph crawling out of the door but Kofi leaped through the ropes over him and landed on the floor to retain his title. Groan. 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS vs. BARON CORBIN (18:25): You know this PPV had zero interest when this main event was announced. Everyone hates Corbin except Vince. They've pushed Corbin to the fucking moon for some reason. I'm almost kind of shocked he didn't win the title (they have to save their Lesnar/Rollins Summerslam main event, I suppose). The hatred for Corbin isn't the usual heel heat, though. People don't hate him because he's a bad guy and he mocks the crowd. No, they hate him because he's an awful wrestler and he sucks and why are they pushing him? It's mind boggling. They did save this match from being a dumpster fire by having Corbin pick Lacey Evans to be the special referee. Which meant we got all of the hilarious, heel ref shenanigans. Slow counts and non-counts. Lacey changed the match to a "No Count Out" match when Baron couldn't make the ten count after being put through the announce table. Then Lacey made the match a "No DQ" match when Corbin started beating Seth with a steel chair. Yes, all of that heel ref schtick has been done a million times before but I still found it to be amusing and entertaining. It sure made this match a hell of a lot better than it had any right to be. The crowd chanted, "AEW," "Daniel Bryan," and "boring" during this match, although they got into it by the half way mark and popped big when Becky Lynch finally came out to beat up Lacey (Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch are dating in real life...which the announcers have been telling us constantly for the last few weeks). I was entertained by the second half of this match. Which, for the WWE these days, is a complete and utter shock. "Wait...you were entertained?" I can't believe it either. **1/2