TNA DESTINATION X

Sunday, July 10th, 2011 from Orlando, Florida

KAZARIAN vs. SOMOA JOE: Good opener. The crowd was fucking nuts early on. Did a bus full of drunk frat boys break down out front of the arena or something? Somoa Joe dominated and lost. Go figure. **1/2

DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. MARK HASKINS: Who are these two again? Not bad, but...really? On a show without the TNA champ, Kurt Angle, Hogan, or Flair...and they have the debut of some nobody from England who botches his final move? *1/2

MAX & JEREMY BUCK vs. SHARK BOY & ERIC YOUNG: Short and semi-entertaining. When Eric Young was asking luchadores to be his partner pre-match I laughed. **

AMAZING RED vs. ROBBIE E. vs. SHANNON MOORE vs. ALEX SHELLEY "ULTIMATE X-MATCH": Ah...the worst Ultimate-X match ever. That's not good, especially when the show is called "Destination X." There weren't any big moves. All of the guys fell from the hanging ropes, but that was it. Not boring, but it just wasn't as good as a typical UX match. *1/2

ROB VAN DAM vs. JERRY LYNN: Yes, they're older, slower, but this turned out to be an exciting match. Perhaps the most entertaining match RVD has been in since showing up in TNA. **1/2

AUSTIN ARIES vs. JACK EVANS vs. ZEMA ION vs. LOW KI: Well, the fans orgasmed over this match. I thought it was good, not great. The winner gets a TNA contract. Um...shouldn't the loser get a TNA contract? **1/2

ABYSS vs. BRIAN KENDRICK: Kendrick, the shy, little boy won the X-Division title from the monster Abyss. The problem? Nobody likes Kendrick and Abyss is boring. This was a God-awful match. 1/2*

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. A.J. STYLES: I admit: I said that this would be one of the year's best. It wasn't. It didn't work. First off, it went too long at thirty minutes. Second, there weren't any big show-stopping moves. It was a classic, slow, plodding, back-and-forth snooze fest. Shocking, really, since these two are great wrestlers. The other surprise: the TNA champ didn't even defend the title. What company puts on a $35 ppv and doesn't even have a main title match? *

WWE CAPITOL PUNISHMENT

Sunday, June 19th, 2011 from Washington, D.C.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KOFI KINGSTON: Good opener. Someone backstage, probably a young writer, was like: "How come the sleeper hold never fucking works?" It worked and Kofi went to sleep and lost. **1/2 (out of ****)

THE MIZ vs. ALEX RILEY: I suppose this is the summer of the big Alex Riley push. And wasn't he busted for a D.U.I. this year in Florida? I guess Michael Vick got a second chance, why not Alex Riley? This match was not entertaining. The only amusing part was when Riley pulled Cole by the tie and threw him to the floor. I have yet to see a good Miz match. *1/2

THE BIG SHOW vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: Mark Henry put The Big Show through the announce table. That was a good spot. After that, Show was hobbling around and eventually the ref just rang the bell and said he couldn't continue. *1/2

EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. WADE BARRETT: Barrett was funny on the mic making fun of the U.S. pre-match. Jackson won the IC title here. Meh. Who cares? 1/2*

CM PUNK vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR.: Great last few minutes of this match. Quick, fun, slick, surprising. **1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. CHRISTIAN: Orton got a concussion in Spain a week ago. Why was he wrestling? An okay match, but not up to their last two. **

JACK SWAGGER vs. EVAN BOURNE: Filler, but better than the usual filler. *1/2

R. TRUTH vs. JOHN CENA: Really awful. Surprising? No. Little Jimmy: help. 1/2*

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY

Sunday, June 12th, 2011 from Orlando

JAMES STORM & ALEX SHELLEY vs. DOUG WILLIAMS & MAGNUS: One half of Beer Money is hurt so Alex Shelley took his place. It didn't exactly work. *1/2 (out of ****)

SCOTT STEINER vs. MATT MORGAN: Surprised that Steiner lost considering he probably thinks he's God. 1/2*

ABYSS vs. KAZARIAN vs. BRIAN KENDRICK: Abyss is the X-Division champ, aka the cruiserweight champ. No, it doesn't make sense nor is it an intriguing storyline. Because Kendrick and Kazarian were stuck with a plodding fat guy this match was a mess. 1/2*

SOMOA JOE vs. CRIMSON: Somoa Joe lost to the undefeated TNA version of Seamus? Lame. 1/2*

MICKIE JAMES vs. ANGELINA LOVE: Remember when TNA had good women's matches? Those were the days. 1/2*

A.J. STYLES vs. BULLY RAY "Last Man Standing Match": Great finish to a match that was all fake punching for the first five minutes. Bully Ray bled and Styles jumped off the light pole on the set and down onto Bully on a table. It was a crazy leap and the highlight of the show. ***

STING vs. MR. ANDERSON: So Mr. Anderson is the new champ. When your title match isn't the main event something is probably wrong with your company. 1/2*

JEFF JARRETT vs. KURT ANGLE: A good match but not nearly as good as some of their epic matches like April's cage match. It seemed a little off and didn't go as long as I'd hoped to build momentum. Kind of disappointing since it was their apparent last match. **1/2

WWE OVER THE LIMIT

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011 from Seattle


R. TRUTH vs. REY MYSTERIO: Not bad, but R. Truth just is not an exciting wrestler. *1/2 (out of ****)

EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. WADE BARRETT: Why is Wade Barrett still around? And they're still doing the lame DQ finishes with him where his gang shows up and beats up the opponent? So been-there-done-that. *

SIN CARA vs. CHAVO GUERERO: Sin Cara is great and Chavo isn't. **

THE BIG SHOW & KANE vs. CM PUNK & MASON RYAN: So what do you do with the two worst, slowest, most boring wrestlers in the business? Put them together! So stupid. At least Kane made a joke about being upset that The Rapture didn't happen yesterday. *

BRIE BELLA vs. KELLY KELLY: The only entertaining female wrestler, Kharma, wasn't on the show. Smart. 1/2*

CHRISTIAN vs. RANDY ORTON: I hated that Orton won the title 5 days after Christian finally won it. That said, this was a great match with a ton of near-falls, a Christian spear, and an awesome, back-and-forth pace. ***

JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER vs. MICHAEL COLE: Brett Hart came out post-match to put Cole in a Sharpshooter for no real reason. Cole is hilarious but c'mon: why is he wrestling? *1/2

JOHN CENA vs. THE MIZ "I Quit Match": Perhaps the worst main event in WWE PPV history. The Miz and Alex Riley beat Cena up for twenty minutes than played a tape-recording of Cena saying, "I Quit." The ref realized this and re-started the match and Cena, even though he was apparently dead from the beating, hulked up and beat up both guys and then put The Miz in the Crippler Crossface submission hold and The Miz quit. The Miz did a funny bit where he told a ringside Cena fan to stop the beating and tell Cena to quit. That was really the only mildly entertaining aspect of this oh-so dull match. Awful, awful stuff. 1/2*

TNA SACRIFICE

Sunday, May 15th, 2011 from Orlando, FL

HERNANDEZ & ANARQUIA vs. SHANNON MOORE & JESSE NEAL: A lot of people said that TNA's "Victory Road" ppv in March was the worst ppv ever. I kind of thought this show was. Shannon Moore did some high-flying moves but this wasn't very entertaining. * (out of ****)

BRIAN KENDRICK vs. ROBBIE E.: Super dull. -No Stars-

MICKIE JAMES vs. MADISON RAYNE: Kind of a mess, although Tara knocking out Rayne looked real. *

KAZARIAN vs. MAX BUCK: The best, and only good, match on the show. Buck took a wicked bump onto the floor that looked like it cracked his skull. Kazarian is a beast. **1/2

ABYSS vs. CRIMSON: Unwatchable. -No Stars-

BEER MONEY vs. MATT HARDY & CHRIS HARRIS: Not good. Are we seeing a pattern? 1/2*

A.J. STYLES vs. TOMMY DREAMER: When a table was brought into the ring the fans chanted, "We want fire." You blood-thirsty pricks. I'm not sure why Dreamer is back, but he beat one of TNA's premiere stars for no apparent reason. **

KURT ANGLE & CHYNA vs. JEFF JARRETT & KAREN JARRETT: Chyna, where have you been? She botched every move and this wasn't half as good as any JJ/Angle match. If the Kurt Angle match on your show isn't good than you know something is wrong. *1/2

STING vs. RVD: Yes, RVD worked his ass off, but this was just boring stuff. We don't need these old guys wrestling in the main event. *1/2

WWE EXTREME RULES

Sunday, May 1st, 2011 from Tampa Bay, Florida

CM PUNK vs. RANDY ORTON "Last Man Standing": Great match. CM Punk is one of the WWE's best wrestlers. Why hasn't he had the title lately? They used a Singapore Cane on each other and Orton RKO'd Punk on top of the announce table. It was long, brutal, and the crowd loved it. I think it was the best match of the night. *** (out of ****)

SEAMUS vs. KOFI KINGSTON "Tables Match": Why wasn't Mistico...I mean Sin Cara on this show? This was typical and mediocre. *1/2

JIM ROSS & JERRY 'THE KING' LAWLER vs. MICHAEL COLE & JACK SWAGGER "Country Whipping Match": Cole is hilarious on the mic but this was another disastrous match for Cole and Lawler. It was sloppy, silly, lame, and boring. I did laugh when Cole came out wrapped up in bubble wrap, though. *

REY MYSTERIO VS. CODY RHODES "Falls Count Anywhere": They brawled around the arena and then finally went back to the ring where Mysterio won after delivering the 619. Semi-entertaining. **

MICHELLE McCOOL vs. LAYLA "Loser Leaves Town": Kind of a wild, hot mess. The best part? Kharma, aka Awesome Kong from TNA, came out post-match and destroyed McCool. Gail Kim is still in the WWE, right? Those Kong/Kim matches from TNA a few years back were epic. I want to see another one ASAP. *1/2

CHRISTIAN vs. ALBERTO Del RIO "Ladder Match": Good match, not great. Del Rio seemed awkward around the ladders, though he did leap off the top rope and onto a ladder at ringside which was sick (Christian moved off the ladder just in time). Edge came out in a jeep to distract Del Rio and Christian pushed him off the ladder and then climbed it to win. Will Del Rio ever be champ? Christian is aging but it was nice to see him finally win the WWE title. **1/2

BIG SHOW & KANE vs. WADE BARRETT & EZEKIEL JACKSON "Lumberjack Match": Awful, awful stuff. Wade Barrett is still around? -No Stars-

THE MIZ vs. JOHN CENA vs. JOHN MORRISON "Steel Cage Match": Cena won the title for the 10th time. Yawn. Morrison did won flip/spin backwards dive off the cage which was cool. R. Truth came out and beat up Morrison which led to Cena delivering his finisher on The Miz off the top rope to get the pin. The Miz took a superplex off the top of the cage and landed bad but he got up and finished. He's tough, dude. I thought there would be a little more high-flying theatrics with Morrison in this match. Would this have been better if R. Truth was in it? **

TNA LOCKDOWN

Sunday, April 17th, 2011 from Cincinnati, Ohio

RED vs. SUICIDE vs. ROBBIE E vs. MAX BUCK vs. JEREMY BUCK vs. AMAZING RED vs. JAY LETHAL vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. BRIAN KENDRICK: TNA might save some money by not having five-thousand wrestlers on their shows. This was an "Escape the Cage" match. Like most of the matches on this show the rules were ill-defined. You could pin people until there were two left and then one had to escape. I think. There were some wild, crazy, sloppy moves. It was entertaining. **1/2 (out of ****).

SHANNON MOORE & JESSE NEAL vs. SCOTT STEINER & CRIMSON vs. ORLANDO JORDAN & ERIC YOUNG vs. DOUGLAS WILLIAMS & MAGNUS: Steiner thinks he's God. Is he? He wouldn't let anyone get a shot in on him but his team still lost. Mostly boring. *1/2

MICKIE JAMES vs. MADISON RAYNE: This match was thirty-five seconds. And this was a "Hair vs. Belt" match. James won the belt. And I wanted to see a bald girl crying. *1/2

SOMOA JOE vs. POPE: Remember when Somoa Joe was in exciting matches? This was very methodical and boring. The crowd was there but seemingly asleep. *

MATT MORGAN vs. HERNANDEZ: Another boring match. 1/2*

JEFF JARRETT vs. KURT ANGLE: A sloppy, wild, insane match. Jarrett slammed Angle onto the mat from the top of the cage and Angle landed on his head. Angle then did a moonsault off the top of the cage and missed Jarrett. Angle also got hit with a guitar and Jarrett bled. It was by far the match of the night. It was a mess but super entertaining. ***

STING vs. RVD vs. MR. ANDERSON: Sting won in a short, dull match. RVD didn't even deliver any patented moves. Eh. 1/2*

BEER MONEY & KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. RIC FLAIR & MATT HARDY & BULLY RAY & ABYSS "Lethal Lockdown": Daniels actually did what I've been begging somebody to do in the WWE's endless amount of terrible Hell in a Cell matches: he jumped off the top of the cage. The only other highlight was seeing Flair a ragged, bloody, embarrassing mess. AJ Styles did show up to beat up Bully Ray. The rest was stale. **1/2