Allegiant Stadium, Paradise, Nevada
NIGHT 1 (Saturday, April 18th):
THE USO'S & LA KNIGHT vs. THE VISION (LOGAN PAUL & AUSTIN THEORY) & ISHOWSPEED (7:08): Last year's Wrestlemania was in this football stadium, too, which is kind of lazy and weird, right? Even weirder, though, is that this stadium, which is, literally, on the next street from The Strip, is in Paradise, Nevada technically and not Las Vegas. Next year's Wrestlemania is in Saudi Arabia, which is even more weird, and we haven't even started hearing about all the controversy and bitching that's going to get (I don't think TKO understands how much backlash that's going to get yet). I do like Wrestlemania week with all of the other wrestling shows and a lot going on...but, man, the "aura" of Wrestlemania being this big, great, legendary show is fucking over. Other than the fact that Wrestlemania takes place in a football stadium, why is this show even a big deal anymore? They at least made CM Punk vs. Roman seem like a big deal...but it wasn't some long simmering feud or anything. Also, they're both babyfaces, which is odd for a Wrestlemania main event. The biggest story of the week ended up being a non-WWE story: Darby Allin won the AEW championship on Dynamite. & I didn't really watch any of the other Las Vegas wrestling shows. I tuned into Joey Janela's Spring Break show and watched about 10 minutes of the new Hyabusa match. There's way too much to watch, anyway. I saw people online talking about the hardcore match on the New Japan Death Vegas show that featured Nick Gage and Matt Tremont vs. some of the famous Japanese Death Match dudes. Apparently, that was pretty wild. & I heard that the Brodie Lee, Jr. match against Janela was surprisingly great. As for the big dog: Wrestlemania night 1 sucked hard, and night 2 had a good main event and a few other good matches. Everyone complained that the shows had too many commercials and the matches were all too short. I didn't watch either night live, so I fast forwarded through the commercials which probably helped my enjoyment of the shows. Yes, the matches, for what's supposed to be this big, epic, once-a-year show, were way too short. The women's title match on night 1 was a mere 6 minutes long. What the fuck, dude? I mean, if they're worried they don't want the shows to go too long, then don't have 6 or 7 matches. I don't want to say TKO has ruined the WWE, because it wasn't exactly legendary before Vince sold it, but they certainly haven't made it better. The other big talking point of this year's Wrestlemania was ticket prices. The average ticket price was $635. The cheapest in the lower bowl (this is a football stadium, so the lower bowl is, like, 20-30,000 tickets) was $2,000. Prices were so high that they made a few 25% off deals plus they made it a storyline where CM Punk on RAW told the audience that ticket prices were too high and they needed to lower them. The stadium was filled to the brim both nights, so maybe they eventually gave away some tickets to tourists on the strip or something. And as for this opener: John Cena was the host. They added him last minute to probably attempt to sell more tickets. They also added a late Pat McAfee heel storyline to drum up interest that ended up being talked about as being similar to how bad late stage WCW was. This opener had one highlight: when Ishowspeed, who's apparently a Youtube celebrity, did a top rope dive to Austin Theory on the announce table. The Uso's, who's entrance used to be this big deal, seemed to have cooled off. And The Vision used to be the big deal group on RAW...felt like an afterthought here. They turned on Ishowspeed. Why is he called Ishowspeed, anyway? Did he, like, run races on his Youtube videos or something? I feel like anyone that's famous from Youtube just did pranks, right? Or, like, just stupid comedy set ups. Anyway, this match was really short and like most of the matches on both nights, pretty monotonous. *1/2
JACOB FATU vs. DREW McINTYRE "UNSANCTIONED MATCH" (14:09): This was a hardcore match, so both men ended up going through tables at one point. Fatu did a moonsault off the top rope through McIntyre on a table to win. I feel like both of these guys were bigger stars practically a month ago. What happened? McIntyre lost the title to Cody on Smackdown a month ago and Fatu is popular with fans, but management hasn't pushed him to the top yet. With the hardcore stuff the match was at least semi-entertaining. **
BRIE BELLA & PAIGE vs. THE IRRESISTIBLE FORCES (NIA JAX & LASH LEGEND) vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR & ALEXA BLISS vs. BAYLEY & LYRA VALKYRIA (8:33): Nikki Bella was injured so she brought out Paige to take her place. Paige hasn't been in AEW in awhile so that answers that question. She got a huge reaction. I guess we'll see how long she stays back, though she did win the tag titles with Brie. This match was fine but just felt like a typical TV match. Most of the matches on both shows just felt like random TV matches. That was a giant problem with both nights. *1/2
BECKY LYNCH vs. AJ LEE (8:15): This was for the Intercontinental title and they got a whopping 8 minutes. I think the entrances to all of these matches were longer than the actual matches. You can't really do much of anything in 8 minutes. Night 1 ended up being close to 4 hours and there was only 1 hour and 24 minutes of wrestling. That's...insane! These WWE shows almost seem like wrestling is secondary. You can't build any kind of drama in 8 minutes. There's no beginning, middle, and end. There was a story here, and that's how Becky hates the female referee. Um...maybe the story should be about the title and not the referee? These two also just had a match on the last PPV. I feel like that was better. I did like AJ's entrance when a group of little girls came out dressed like her and skipping down the ramp. That was cute. And one little girl seemed lost and just stood behind everyone in the entrance and finally just walked off backstage. Maybe she realized how much of a trainwreck night 1 was, too, and thought: I'm not gonna be a part of this mess. *1/2
GUNTHER vs. SETH ROLLINS (17:52): So this match was good and by far the best match on night 1. They started fast and it was back and forth and by WWE standards it was excellent. Bron Breaker returned to spear Rollins when the ref wasn't looking. Considering Gunther just retired Cena and AJ Styles...you'd think he would've been pushed to be in the main event or something by this juncture. Nope! I guess they at least gave him a win. Rollins had returned with a group of masked men but they were mysteriously absent for this match. Probably because the online hatred for how stupid the gimmick was (Rollins was one of the masked men and they would all run around in circles so you didn't know which one Rollins was). ***
LIV MORGAN vs. STEPHANIE VAQUER (6:51): This was for the women's championship. Wrestlemania was the latest it's ever been so they had plenty of time to build it up...and yet we got an almost 7 minute match. Jesus Christ. I give up. Vaquer is actually a really good wrestler. I'm sure she could've pulled out a good match against Morgan if they had been given the time. Nope! We've got a 20 minute block of commercials we've gotta get to! *1/2
BIANCA BELAIR: Cena didn't do much as the host. He came out for this segment for the return of Bianca Belair. She's been out for a year with a finger injury. Yes, a finger injury. And she announced she's pregnant by taking off her robe to reveal a baby bump which means she'll be out for another year. They're still paying her for two years off? I want that job.
CODY RHODES vs. RANDY ORTON (22:44): Originally this match seemed to be heading to being McIntyre as champ vs. Cody vs. Jacob Fatu. The company seemed to realize that McIntyre isn't a star (they even had Roman completely and totally bury him on Smackdown when he was picking his opponent for 'Mania) and so they pivoted to this. Then they seemingly didn't want their boy Cody to get booed so they turned Orton heel. Then they realized that Orton would still be cheered so they introduced Pat McAfee as a heel character aligned with Orton. McAfee went on Smackdown to belittle the audience and complain about ticket prices and also bury the WWE by saying that it sucks because Orton isn't champion. Well...it got worse. They seemed to realize that this McAfee storyline sucked so they got rid of it in this match by having Orton give McAfee an RKO at the end. All of this just made a bunch of fans online note that this feels like late-stage WCW in how ludicrous and nonsensical the storyline is. McAfee also said that if Orton loses then he will leave the WWE forever. Orton lost. Knowing this company, McAfee will probably be on RAW this week. The match started with McAfee hitting Cody over the head with the microphone. Orton and McAfee beat up Cody before the bell even started. Cody gave McAfee a Cross Roads. Jelly Roll got involved to give McAfee a splash through the announce table. McAfee was taken out on a stretcher. Then the actual match happened and it was a total fucking bore. Cody turned heel in this match which kind of made no sense since Orton turned babyface by giving McAfee an RKO but then punting Cody in the head after the match to basically revert back to heel. Yeah, this match was a logical disaster of epic proportions. It just felt like the writers and people in charge had no idea what to do or how to do it or why to do it. McAfee was apparently in the storyline because his agent is Ari Emmanuel and Ari works for TKO. Both men ended up bleeding. Cody gave Orton a finger poke in the eye and so Orton inadvertently gave the ref an RKO. McAfee returned with a neck brace and a referee shirt to give a 2 count. Another ref eventually came out. Cody gave Orton an RKO. Orton gave Cody a Cross Roads. Eventually Cody won to retain the title. Then Orton RKO'd McAfee. Then Orton punted Cody in the head and grabbed the title and the show ended. So...the actual wrestling portion was dull. All of the smoke and mirrors was at least intriguing. The amount of hate this match and Night 1 got online was immense. Has Cody ever been a heel? They booed him in AEW at the end of his run but he was still attempting to be a good guy. I don't know if Cody as a bad guy is a good thing. It seems kind of stupid to turn him heel considering he was one of their biggest draws. They do have too many good guys, though. The only "big" heel is McIntyre, realistically, and he lost on a random mid-card match. I have no idea if Orton is supposed to be a heel still or not...but the fans seem to cheer him no matter what. You know...I actually liked late-stage WCW so that's probably why I didn't hate this. Watching this match was like driving past the remnants of a car accident in that it kept your eyes glued to the disaster. **
NIGHT 2 (Sunday, April 19th):
OBA FEMI vs. BROCK LESNAR (4:46): Everyone online hated Night 1 but liked Night 2. It's funny, but everyone (including me) complained for years to make Wrestlemania two nights and now are complaining to return it back to one night. This was the shortest match on either night. It was exciting and entertaining, though, so you can't really complain. It was all big moves and then Oba slammed Brock and won. Brock left his boots in the ring and left, presumably to retire (next year's Wrestlemania is in Saudi Arabia, though, so it's guaranteed he'll wrestle there). Remember Lesnar destroyed Cena last September and they never did anything with that? Like...give him a title shot or something? He is still involved tangentially with Vince's sexual assault case...maybe his "retirement" has something to do with that, who knows? Now the big question is: will they actually do something with Oba Femi? Realistically he should go win the title now since he beat the monster Brock. **1/2
PENTA vs. JE'VON EVANS vs. DRAGON LEE vs. JD McDONAGH vs. RUSEV vs. REY MYSTERIO "LADDER MATCH" (15:08): This was an exciting match, one of the better matches on either night. The big move was Penta giving JD a Canadian Destroyer onto a ladder bridge in the ring. Mysterio also did a top rope jump onto Rusev through a ladder bridge at ringside. Je'von did a bunch of crazy, top rope leaps that looked cool. Mysterio gave Dragon Lee a 619 when Lee was stuck in a ladder. That was unique. Penta retained the Intercontinental title. I'm still baffled that the WWE signed Penta and Fenix and haven't put them together as The Lucha Brothers. Oh, well. ***
TRICK WILLIAMS vs. SAMI ZAYN (7:07): Sami is a heel now because the WWE seemed to run out of things to do with him since they refused to ever give him the title. I think Trick is also supposed to be a heel, but maybe they're turning him into a babyface. The crowd do love his entrance because they can shout, "Whoop that Trick!" whatever the fuck that means. Doesn't it mean beat up Trick? So wouldn't that be a bad thing? The crowds that all love his entrance don't really give two shits about his wrestling, though, which would be a problem if they ever decide to put him in a long match. That shouldn't be a problem in the WWE, though, since long matches are rare. There wasn't much to this match. Some rapper came out with Trick and ended up getting involved. Trick won the U.S. title. *
'THE DEMON' FINN BALOR vs. DOMINIK MYSTERIO "STREET FIGHT" (10:27): Remember when "The Demon" gimmick was a big deal in NXT? Yeah. It's been awhile. This was a hardcore match. Dominik put Finn's head in a chair and gave him a 619. Finn did a top rope foot stomp onto Dominik through a table to win. Match wasn't anything special. Now that Finn is a babyface...I wonder what the heck they're gonna do with him. *1/2
RHEA RIPLEY vs. JADE CARGILL (10:08): This was for the women's title. At least they gave them over 10 minutes. Rhea won the title. Michin and B-Fab were interfering and beating up Rhea when the ref wasn't looking. Iyo Skye ran out to beat them up. This was pretty basic stuff. At one point, Jade did a One Winged Angel. I didn't realize she did Omega's move. I guess it's not her finisher because Rhea kicked out of it. I wonder if Omega cares. I also wonder if Omega stole that from someone else. Maybe I should look it up! *1/2
DANHAUSEN & THE MIZ SEGMENT: Cena was the host and didn't do much. He started the show and then did this segment. Danhausen came out with a bunch of dwarfs dressed up like Danhausen. The WWE crowds seem to like Danhausen so that's good. This WWE crowd did seem different than in past years when they would sometimes cheer heels and boo babyfaces. It was always mentioned that, well, the Wrestlemania crowds are always different. Not this year. Anyway, the dwarfs beat up The Miz and carried him away to the back.
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