WWE ROYAL RUMBLE

from The Alamo Dome, San Antonio, TX

MEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH (CODY RHODES) (71:42): This was one of the better Royal Rumble matches they've done in the last few years. My only problem was that Sami Zayn wasn't in it and thus didn't win it and thus isn't going to main event Wrestlemania. They threw a bunch of big stars into the middle of this match which helped. Brock Lesnar, Bobby Lashley, and Seth Rollins were all out there in the middle of it. Bobby Lashley eliminated Brock Lesnar. They pushed Domink Mysterio pretty hard, surprisingly, even though his gimmick is still being a goof. The final two were Cody and Gunther and they actually wrestled each other for a long time (probably too long) until Cody finally won. Gunther was the first one in so are they actually giving him a big push? They're, like, two years too late on that one. Better late than never I suppose. Logan Paul and Edge returned. They did a big spot where Edge eliminated Finn Balor and Damian Priest and then beat them up on the way back to the entrance way. Rhea Ripley came out and knocked Edge over and then Edge's wife, Beth Phoenix, came out to slam Rhea Ripley onto the cement. Logan Paul and Ricochet did a cool looking maneuver where they both jumped on opposite top ropes and flew through the air at each other and collided. The only big, old school surprise was Booker T. This was entertaining throughout, and since it went on first the crowd was hot and alive. It's also hilarious seeing Cody cheered so much considering he was booed constantly in AEW the last few months he was there. He never said it, but I think it's pretty obvious that's why he left. ***

BRAY WYATT vs. LA KNIGHT "PITCH BLACK MATCH" (5:06): This match wasn't in complete darkness. It was kind of in a blue light and a bunch of things were neon that stood out like LA Knight's trunks and a Singapore cane. It looked pretty cool but it's not something I ever want to see again. After Bray Wyatt won, they battled back by the entrance where Mr. Howdy, a masked figure in a top hat, jumped off a high stage and missed LA Knight. Then flames shot up from the stage. Okay. I was kind of hoping with Triple H in charge of booking he would have got rid of all this stupid, supernatural bullshit that just comes across as silly. Nope. I was also hoping for a lot of things with Triple H in charge. Like...would WWE PPV's suddenly be as awesome as those old NXT Takeover's? Sadly, no. It was probably a good idea to fire Bray Wyatt when they did. It's looking like an even better idea now. 1/2* 

BIANCA BELAIR vs. ALEXA BLISS (7:33): Bianca Belair retained the title. The crowd was a silent tomb. Nobody cared about this match. It also wasn't any good, which might have been the reason. Mr Howdy showed up on the screen after this match to tell Alexa something. I'm sure Alexa Bliss just loves that she's been sucked back into this murky, ridiculous storyline. 1/2*

WOMEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH (RHEA RIPLEY) (61:08): I loathe that there's two Royal Rumble matches now on this PPV. It's too much! I watched the men's match on Saturday when it happened and then watched the rest of the show on Sunday, so that probably helped. This was not as good as the men's match. There were a few surprises, none worthwhile. Michelle McCool was sitting ringside with her kids and she was a surprise entrant. Nia Jax at #30 was another surprise. There were a few NXT women in it. The final two were Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan. Ripley was hanging off the ropes and then lifted herself up to grab Liv around the neck with her legs and toss her out. That was a unique ending. Doudrop showed up with a new name. Asuka was popular with the crowd and was the 3rd last to be eliminated. While the match was never atrociously boring, it wasn't fantastic or anything. They had a big, 40,000 crowd tonight which was good. Because of that, the stage was miniscule and basically just a small screen and door amidst the crowd. That looked low rent. And it took wrestlers forever to get to the ring. It also seemed like the entrants in both Rumbles came out pretty fast. It still baffles me how the WWE gets these huge crowds and AEW is kind of floundering with smaller crowds when the products are light years apart in terms of quality. I guess it's just because the WWE is older and thus ingrained in people's minds as "the" wrestling show. **1/2

ROMAN REIGNS vs. KEVIN OWENS (19:15): Owens botched a spot on the ropes and slipped and fell. That was one of the more memorable moments of the match, which tells you something. The other memorable moment was Roman slamming the back of Kevin Owen's head onto the ring steps twice which looked fucking brutal. While the match was kind of boring, the post-match was fantastic. First off, we did get a ref bump. We did not get a thousand instances of interference, though, which surprised me. Reigns won fairly easily. After the match, Roman and The Uso's beat up Owens then handcuffed him to the ropes. Roman wanted Sami to hit Owens with a chair. Finally Sami turned on Roman and hit him with a chair. Then everyone beat up Sami except for Jey Uso, who left the ring and walked away. This segment was fantastic. The emotion! The turn! The drama! This has been the best storyline in the WWE since The Summer of Punk, which was in 2011. Ultimately, the storyline will only work if Sami faces Roman for the title and wins. Anything else would be a disappointing finish. Sadly, it looks like we're getting the disappointing finish. Cody won the Rumble, which presumably means it'll be Cody vs. Roman at Wrestlemania. Honestly, I never in a million years thought that the WWE would put a guy like Sami Zayn in the main event of Wrestlemania. The WWE just doesn't push guys like Sami Zayn to the top. The only reason they pushed Daniel Bryan was because the fans turned on them. Considering the next PPV, Elimination Chamber, is in Sami Zayn's hometown, Montreal, it looks like they might do Zayn vs. Roman there. They can't have Zayn win the title, though, because what the fuck is the point of that? You think they'd really have Cody vs. Sami Zayn main event Wrestlemania? And if they'd actually have the guts to do what everyone wants and have Zayn win the title and end Roman's streak...why waste it on a February PPV and not do it on the grand stage? I'm so mad at this company. The Bloodline storyline has been so great and such a ratings boon. And yet...and yet...they're going to ruin the ending. These fucking idiots. It's no wonder I love AEW so much more. The WWE have a perfect, storybook ending to an epic storyline and they're about to completely botch the ending. This might go down as one of the biggest failures in wrestling history. ** for the match. **** for the post match.