WWE FASTLANE

Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida

RIDDLE vs. MUSTAFA ALI (9:15): This was the first PPV on Peacock, NBC's streaming service. The WWE Network is gone and everything is moving to Peacock. This is good for me, as I already have Comcast and Peacock is free. It's also good for others as Peacock has a $5 tier so it's cheaper than the WWE Network. So far, Peacock is pretty much the same as the WWE Network. You can't pause or rewind a live show, but hopefully they'll change that. The picture quality was not as good as the WWE Network, but not really that noticeable. I'm guessing this was a trial run for Wrestlemania on Peacock, since, let's face it, no one but hardcore WWE fans are watching this show but a ton will be watching Wrestlemania. It worked...so far. Watch Wrestlemania crash the whole streaming service. This show had some noteworthy events (a Reigns title defense, the return of The Fiend), but was pretty forgettable. The main event was good and the longest WWE singles match in some time. This match was on the pre-show and for some random title that Matt Riddle has. Oh, wait...he's known only as Riddle now for no apparent reason. I love Riddle, but like Ricochet, the WWE is destroying him. It's kind of sad to see that when it happens. The WWE has a giant graveyard of ruined careers. Riddle is at least still somewhat fun to watch so this was decent. Ali's evil group is just about the least threatening, "evil" group ever concocted. And after this match it looks like they might be breaking up. Great, so now we'll be stuck with a bunch of singles matches with those losers. ** (out of ****)

NIA JAX & SHAYNA BASZLER vs. SASHA BANKS & BIANCA BELAIR (9:45): Banks and Belair are wrestling for the title at 'Mania...so they're going for the tag team titles tonight for...who the fuck knows? This PPV seemed to be kind of thrown together at the last second. There wasn't much to this match. Belair won the Royal Rumble but, honestly, she's not particularly great or anything. She did a 450 splash from the top rope that was cool but that was about it. I guess that wasn't too impressive considered I watched the Will Ospreay vs. Shingo Takagi New Japan match before this show and Ospreay did a top rope 450 through Takagai on a ringside table which was awesome. You're really not supposed to watch a New Japan show before a WWE show because the WWE show is always terrible after you've witnessed greatness. Banks and Belair obviously eventually bickered by the end and lost. **

BIG E vs. APOLLO CREWS (5:45): I think Big E was primed to get pushed like Kofi did a few years ago when he won the title at 'Mania. Remember that great Kofi push that lasted maybe 6 months and is now forgotten while he clowns around backstage on every show? Well I guess that Big E push has stalled, or isn't happening, or maybe never was. He does have a title. I think it's the U.S. title but it may be the IC title. Him and Riddle have titles, that's all I know. This was actually pretty entertaining but super short and the ref botched the final count. Even the announcers were flabbergasted and confounded when the ref did like a six count while both men's shoulders were down. **1/2

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. ELIAS (3:50): Shane O'Mac was set to wrestle Braun tonight but that didn't happen so Elias wrestled Braun. Thanks, WWE, for promising a match that never happened. It was always supposed to happen at 'Mania so I'm not sure why they decided to tease and not deliver it on this show. And what happened to Elias? Vince has obviously soured on him because he's been in purgatory for awhile. His schtick doesn't work without an audience to hear his song and boo but that doesn't mean you can't have him do things...or anything, really. I mean...he could still play a song and they could just pipe in boos. He was also a good guy for awhile for no good reason but I guess he's a heel again now. Braun won quickly. I'm not entirely sure what the point of this was. 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS vs. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (12:55): It's been...what? Four years? And I'm still mad that Nakamura left NJPW. Although, I'm mad when anyone leaves New Japan. Like AJ. Like Omega. Like Ricochet. Like The Young Bucks. Like Kushida. Nakamura's last great match was his first in the WWE...him and Sami Zayn tore the fucking house down at that NXT show. I suppose this is as good as it gets for Nakamura these days: a good match in the undercard that means nothing. The first half of this was kind of boring but the final few minutes were excellent. **1/2

DREW McINTYRE vs. SHEAMUS "NO HOLDS BARRED" (19:40): These two were supposed to have a title match either at Elimination Chamber or here. That never happened because some idiot decided to give The Miz and then Bobby Lashley the title for no good reason whatsoever. So this wasn't a title match, just a fight. They brawled around the Thunderdome. McIntyre pushed Sheamus through some of those fan video screens and sparks flew up. They broke the announce table. They used Singapore canes. It was entertaining. Would've been better as a title match. **1/2

ALEXA BLISS vs. RANDY ORTON (4:45): Is this the first man vs. woman WWE match ever? Probably not...but they rarely do it. Neither one even touched the other so I guess it doesn't matter. This feud/storyline has to be one of the worst/stupidest things the WWE has ever done. And that's saying something considering what's happened in this company over the years. Bliss pointed to the ceiling and a light fixture fell down and almost hit Orton. Bliss threw a fireball at Orton. Finally The Fiend climbed out through the ring and he was in a costume that looked like he was burnt to a crisp. If you remember, he was burnt to death last year by Orton. The Fiend gave Orton the Sister Abigail finisher and Bliss pinned Orton. I guess this storyline isn't boring. That's about the highest praise I can give it. 1/2*

ROMAN REIGNS vs. DANIEL BRYAN (30:00): Ospreay and Shingo went a little over 30 minutes earlier today. Crazy that this match went almost as long. When was the last time a singles match in the WWE went that long? It's been awhile, anyway. This was good. The problem was the scriptwriters really went to hog heaven writing up the ending to this. It was way too over-written. Just have a match...these two are good enough to do it. But no...they had to have a ref bump. Then Edge, who was the "special enforcer," whatever that means, became the ref and was counting pinfalls. Then Jey Uso came in and beat up Bryan with a chair. Then Bryan tried to hit Jey with a chair but hit Edge instead. So Edge got mad and hit Bryan and Reigns with a chair then left. Yeah, it sounds as dumb and as ridiculous as it was. Reigns tapped out at one point but it was meaningless amidst the chaos. Eventually Reigns just pinned Bryan when a new ref ran in. Good match but the clusterfuck ending was too over-produced. It's funny, but these two were in the main event at the first ever Fastlane six years ago and that match was also for the main event slot at 'Mania. Crazy how six years later they're still doing the same shit. So we're getting Edge vs. Reigns at 'Mania for the title, as well as Lashley vs. McIntyre for the title, Belair vs. Sasha for the title, Braun vs. Shane, and The Fiend vs. Orton. 'Mania is 2 nights this year and they're having 25,000 fans each night at Tampa's football stadium. I suppose the card doesn't really matter since this will be first WWE show with fans since last March. That'll be a cool spectacle. I'm looking forward to it, which is a shocking thing to say since this is the WWE we're talking about. **1/2