WWE FASTLANE

Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida

RIDDLE vs. MUSTAFA ALI (9:15): This was the first PPV on Peacock, NBC's streaming service. The WWE Network is gone and everything is moving to Peacock. This is good for me, as I already have Comcast and Peacock is free. It's also good for others as Peacock has a $5 tier so it's cheaper than the WWE Network. So far, Peacock is pretty much the same as the WWE Network. You can't pause or rewind a live show, but hopefully they'll change that. The picture quality was not as good as the WWE Network, but not really that noticeable. I'm guessing this was a trial run for Wrestlemania on Peacock, since, let's face it, no one but hardcore WWE fans are watching this show but a ton will be watching Wrestlemania. It worked...so far. Watch Wrestlemania crash the whole streaming service. This show had some noteworthy events (a Reigns title defense, the return of The Fiend), but was pretty forgettable. The main event was good and the longest WWE singles match in some time. This match was on the pre-show and for some random title that Matt Riddle has. Oh, wait...he's known only as Riddle now for no apparent reason. I love Riddle, but like Ricochet, the WWE is destroying him. It's kind of sad to see that when it happens. The WWE has a giant graveyard of ruined careers. Riddle is at least still somewhat fun to watch so this was decent. Ali's evil group is just about the least threatening, "evil" group ever concocted. And after this match it looks like they might be breaking up. Great, so now we'll be stuck with a bunch of singles matches with those losers. ** (out of ****)

NIA JAX & SHAYNA BASZLER vs. SASHA BANKS & BIANCA BELAIR (9:45): Banks and Belair are wrestling for the title at 'Mania...so they're going for the tag team titles tonight for...who the fuck knows? This PPV seemed to be kind of thrown together at the last second. There wasn't much to this match. Belair won the Royal Rumble but, honestly, she's not particularly great or anything. She did a 450 splash from the top rope that was cool but that was about it. I guess that wasn't too impressive considered I watched the Will Ospreay vs. Shingo Takagi New Japan match before this show and Ospreay did a top rope 450 through Takagai on a ringside table which was awesome. You're really not supposed to watch a New Japan show before a WWE show because the WWE show is always terrible after you've witnessed greatness. Banks and Belair obviously eventually bickered by the end and lost. **

BIG E vs. APOLLO CREWS (5:45): I think Big E was primed to get pushed like Kofi did a few years ago when he won the title at 'Mania. Remember that great Kofi push that lasted maybe 6 months and is now forgotten while he clowns around backstage on every show? Well I guess that Big E push has stalled, or isn't happening, or maybe never was. He does have a title. I think it's the U.S. title but it may be the IC title. Him and Riddle have titles, that's all I know. This was actually pretty entertaining but super short and the ref botched the final count. Even the announcers were flabbergasted and confounded when the ref did like a six count while both men's shoulders were down. **1/2

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. ELIAS (3:50): Shane O'Mac was set to wrestle Braun tonight but that didn't happen so Elias wrestled Braun. Thanks, WWE, for promising a match that never happened. It was always supposed to happen at 'Mania so I'm not sure why they decided to tease and not deliver it on this show. And what happened to Elias? Vince has obviously soured on him because he's been in purgatory for awhile. His schtick doesn't work without an audience to hear his song and boo but that doesn't mean you can't have him do things...or anything, really. I mean...he could still play a song and they could just pipe in boos. He was also a good guy for awhile for no good reason but I guess he's a heel again now. Braun won quickly. I'm not entirely sure what the point of this was. 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS vs. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (12:55): It's been...what? Four years? And I'm still mad that Nakamura left NJPW. Although, I'm mad when anyone leaves New Japan. Like AJ. Like Omega. Like Ricochet. Like The Young Bucks. Like Kushida. Nakamura's last great match was his first in the WWE...him and Sami Zayn tore the fucking house down at that NXT show. I suppose this is as good as it gets for Nakamura these days: a good match in the undercard that means nothing. The first half of this was kind of boring but the final few minutes were excellent. **1/2

DREW McINTYRE vs. SHEAMUS "NO HOLDS BARRED" (19:40): These two were supposed to have a title match either at Elimination Chamber or here. That never happened because some idiot decided to give The Miz and then Bobby Lashley the title for no good reason whatsoever. So this wasn't a title match, just a fight. They brawled around the Thunderdome. McIntyre pushed Sheamus through some of those fan video screens and sparks flew up. They broke the announce table. They used Singapore canes. It was entertaining. Would've been better as a title match. **1/2

ALEXA BLISS vs. RANDY ORTON (4:45): Is this the first man vs. woman WWE match ever? Probably not...but they rarely do it. Neither one even touched the other so I guess it doesn't matter. This feud/storyline has to be one of the worst/stupidest things the WWE has ever done. And that's saying something considering what's happened in this company over the years. Bliss pointed to the ceiling and a light fixture fell down and almost hit Orton. Bliss threw a fireball at Orton. Finally The Fiend climbed out through the ring and he was in a costume that looked like he was burnt to a crisp. If you remember, he was burnt to death last year by Orton. The Fiend gave Orton the Sister Abigail finisher and Bliss pinned Orton. I guess this storyline isn't boring. That's about the highest praise I can give it. 1/2*

ROMAN REIGNS vs. DANIEL BRYAN (30:00): Ospreay and Shingo went a little over 30 minutes earlier today. Crazy that this match went almost as long. When was the last time a singles match in the WWE went that long? It's been awhile, anyway. This was good. The problem was the scriptwriters really went to hog heaven writing up the ending to this. It was way too over-written. Just have a match...these two are good enough to do it. But no...they had to have a ref bump. Then Edge, who was the "special enforcer," whatever that means, became the ref and was counting pinfalls. Then Jey Uso came in and beat up Bryan with a chair. Then Bryan tried to hit Jey with a chair but hit Edge instead. So Edge got mad and hit Bryan and Reigns with a chair then left. Yeah, it sounds as dumb and as ridiculous as it was. Reigns tapped out at one point but it was meaningless amidst the chaos. Eventually Reigns just pinned Bryan when a new ref ran in. Good match but the clusterfuck ending was too over-produced. It's funny, but these two were in the main event at the first ever Fastlane six years ago and that match was also for the main event slot at 'Mania. Crazy how six years later they're still doing the same shit. So we're getting Edge vs. Reigns at 'Mania for the title, as well as Lashley vs. McIntyre for the title, Belair vs. Sasha for the title, Braun vs. Shane, and The Fiend vs. Orton. 'Mania is 2 nights this year and they're having 25,000 fans each night at Tampa's football stadium. I suppose the card doesn't really matter since this will be first WWE show with fans since last March. That'll be a cool spectacle. I'm looking forward to it, which is a shocking thing to say since this is the WWE we're talking about. **1/2

AEW REVOLUTION

Jacksonville, FL

DR. BRITT BAKER & MAKI ITOH vs. RIHO & THUNDER ROSA (14:50): This was an entertaining, fun show, although there were two problems with it. The first problem was that, unlike most AEW PPV's, there wasn't a great match on the show. Usually there's at least one match-of-the-year type of a match. This show had some good matches but nothing great. The second problem, and the reason the show ended up being looked at as disappointing, is the terrible, anti-climatic ending. This match was the pre-show match (the pre-show started at 7:30 PM and the show ended at 11:45 PM...yep, way too long). This was fun and fast paced and we got to see the exuberant Maki Itoh debut. She's from Tokyo Joshi-Pro. I actually watched the main event of one of their shows recently and didn't like it at all. Maki Itoh is more of a sports entertainer type than a wrestler, though her charisma is ecstatic. It's kind of too bad either of these 4 weren't a part of the women's title match. **1/2

THE YOUNG BUCKS vs. CHRIS JERICHO & MJF (17:50): By the end of this it turned out to be pretty entertaining with a bunch of near-falls. The Young Bucks did all of their usual high flying, although I kind of wish Jericho was just a manager and didn't wrestle anymore. His dull in-ring ability didn't really work in this type of a match because Young Bucks matches are usually fast paced and thrilling. This wasn't a great match but it was one of the better ones on the show. **1/2

CASINO TAG TEAM ROYALE (REY FENIX) (26:45): The end of this match, with Fenix and Jungle Boy battling it out, was awesome. Maybe they should have just had a Fenix vs. Jungle Boy singles match? Other than that, it was a typical battle royale. **

HIKARU SHIDA vs. RYO MIZUNAMI (15:10): This was okay. Shida is a decent wrestler but she's never in spectacular matches and the crowd isn't really into her so I'm not sure why she's the champ. AEW hasn't really figured out the women's division yet. It's not that they don't have the stars...Riho and Thunder Rosa are both great. The other problem was that nobody even really knows who the hell Ryo Mizunami is. It seems like she just showed up in the company. The crowd, shockingly, was kind of into this match (Jacksonville let over 1,000 fans into the building). Maybe AEW will figure out the women's division one day. **

MIRO & KIP SABIAN vs. ORANGE CASSIDY & CHUCK TAYLOR (7:50): Miro and Kip beat up Cassidy and Taylor backstage before the match then dragged them out to the ring to finish them off. They slammed Chuck Taylor's head through a window backstage but I guess he put his hand up to block it or something because he cut his arm and was bleeding all over everyone during the match. That must've been real glass, which is a surprise since the barbed wire in the main event was fake. There wasn't much to this match, although Orange Cassidy was mildly entertaining even though he didn't get to do much. *1/2

"HANGMAN" ADAM PAGE vs. MATT HARDY (14:40): This wasn't bad but it was just a typical wrestling match without much pop. The Dark Order came out to save Page when he was falling out of the ring and he came back to clothesline Hardy and win. *1/2

SCORPIO SKY vs. CODY RHODES vs. PENTA EL ZERO MIEDO vs. LANCE ARCHER vs. MAX CASTER vs. ETHAN PAGE "LADDER MATCH" (23:15): This match was really good, with the usual bunch of sickening ladder bumps. Penta did a Canadian Destroyer type of a move on Cody on a ladder bridge. Scorpio Sky got tossed out of the ring onto a ladder bridge that broke in half. Cody left for awhile because he was "injured" but returned late. Lance Archer choke slammed everyone at one point. 

Scorpio Sky did a frog splash onto someone on a ladder. Maybe it was Max Caster? I don't even know who that is and I actually watch Dynamite every week. Ethan Page was the surprise 6th entrant. Who is Ethan Page? He was kind of forgettable. Scorpio grabbed the brass ring hanging from the ceiling and won and gets a TNT title shot against Darby Allin on Wednesday. ***

DARBY ALLIN & STING vs. BRIAN CAGE & RICKY STARKS "STREET FIGHT" (13:40): Before this match, Christian came out to announce that he signed an AEW contract. The Big Show is also in AEW now. So AEW is becoming the WWE Legends show now. Christian looked good in this year's Royal Rumble. Do I really want to see him wrestling in AEW, though? Not really. And do I really want to see Sting wrestling? Not really. This was a "cinematic" taped match. I'm not the biggest fan of these for whatever reason. I think the only one I ever enjoyed was that first Matt Hardy TNA Deletion match because it was funny. This was the opposite of funny. It was in an old abandoned warehouse. It was dark, gothic, creepy. It started with Sting driving in a pickup truck in a city and Darby on a skateboard holding onto the back of the truck. The one big move in this was Darby jumping out of a window and onto Brian Cage who was on a stage that collapsed down through the floor. That was kind of cool. Darby also got tossed through a standing plate glass window. Sting used his bat. They all threw each other into walls. I guess it was watchable, though just your usual "cinematic" match. **1/2

KENNY OMEGA vs. JON MOXLEY "EXPLODING BARBED WIRE DEATH MATCH" (25:15): Unfortunately, the ending to this match ruined not only the match but the entire show. First off, the exploding barbed wire ropes were a pretty cool visual. I was kind of surprised how well that looked. It did not look as cool as the exploding barbed wire in those old Onita matches, but it was pretty close (those old ones had sparks and smoke...tonight there was only the pop and the smoke). They had three sides of the ring wrapped in barbed wire around the ropes (alas, this was not a no-rope, barbed wire match...plus the barbed wire wasn't real barbed wire...it wasn't sharp and you could tell because it didn't cut anyone). They had two barbed wire boards in the ring. On the floor they had three barbed wire boards that were supposedly landmines. They only fell on one of those (Moxley gave Omega a DDT from the apron onto one of those). The landmine explosion was kind of weak. Later on, when Gallows and Anderson came out to interfere, Omega hit Moxley with an exploding, barbed wire bat. That looked awesome. Onita's been using one of those for the last few years. The bat actually produced a pop, sparks, and smoke and looked tremendous. So for awhile it was pretty cool and even though they weren't doing much wrestling moves and it wasn't Omega/Okada great or anything, it was working. I was actually kind of surprised. One particular unique move was when Omega delivered the One Winged Angel for the pin (nobody has ever kicked out of this) and Moxley touched the ropes with his foot to trigger a blast and avoid the pin fall. Omega finally pinned Moxley after Gallows and Anderson came out to interfere. The three of them then handcuffed Moxley and left him in the ring for the 30:00 exploding ring finale. There was a countdown. They did the old Onita savior gimmick and Eddie Kingston came out, tried to get Moxley out of the ring, ran out of time and so he just laid on top of Moxley to shield him from the blast. Then the countdown ended and the ring exploded...or, was supposed to explode. They had sparklers shoot out of all four ring posts which looked ultra lame and puny. And they set off the landmine explosions on the floor which were not really that big or anything, just roman candle type of fire and smoke shooting up fireworks. Moxley and Kingston played like they were dead and paramedics came out even though the crowd was booing and the exploding ring was groan-inducingly bad. Some wondered if maybe the pyro malfunctioned or something but I think in this day and age, with fire marshals and laws (unlike dangerous 1990's Japan), they probably couldn't actually do anything much more than that. Either way, the end was fucking awful and really ruined this show. If they had just done the exploding barbed wire ropes and the exploding barbed wire bat this match might've been 4 stars. Because all of that was great. It was shocking, really, to actually see them pull all of that stuff off. If you don't know, no major U.S. wrestling company has done an exploding barbed wire match. CZW did it once outside in Jersey in front of maybe 100 people. I remember ECW doing a landmine match that was super weak. So I am glad they tried it and most of it came off really well. The exploding ring matches in Japan haven't really been that impressive, either, though. Hell, even the infamous Terry Funk/Mick Foley exploding ring match ended with a dull explosion that made Mick Foley quickly come up with a new ending by pulling a ladder out from under the ring and improvising. I think the key is the smoke. You can pretend like it's a big explosion if there's a wall of smoke. Sparklers shooting out of the ring posts just came across as bush league. It was, by far, the worst thing AEW has ever done. And it's a shame because the match was visually very cool and violent and the crowd loved it before the lame duck ending. Will they ever do one of these again? Or is this type of a match forgotten? Even Japan doesn't do them anymore. I used to have a VHS tape called "The Best of Onita Vol. 1-3." I bought it online in the late 90's and loved it. Onita and Terry Funk and Hayabusa and Tarzan Goto with exploding barbed wire ropes and exploding rings and stadium crowds of 30,000 cheering them on. That was all in the early to mid 90's. Maybe it's best to leave things in the past. Or, as Faulkner famously wrote, "The past is never dead. It's not even past." I say do it again someday and get it right. They learned their lesson. And you'll never learn anything from never failing. ***