WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER

Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida

JOHN MORRISON vs. ELIAS vs. MUSTAFA ALI vs. RICOCHET (7:10): This was the pre-show match. The winner would be added to the U.S. title match. Keith Lee was supposed to be in the U.S. title match but is out for either an injury or because his fiancee had the coronavirus. The WWE keeps coronovirus infections super secret sometimes for unknown reasons. When McIntyre had it, they had to admit it because it put the Goldberg match in jeopardy. When AJ Styles had it they never said anything until months later AJ mentioned it on a podcast. As for this match...it was a typical, superfluous pre-show match. Every time I see Ricochet in a match in WWE I just cringe. He could have been a fucking mega star if they didn't have their head up their ass. I guess I'll just have to go watch old NJPW matches with him and cry myself to sleep next time I forget how great he is. Ricochet looked good, as usual, although the WWE has neutered him like they did with Keith Lee. Why do they care if he does suicidal shit? That's what made him. Eh. This was at least fairly entertaining, although Mustafa Ali's Retrobution group is the silliest thing that's supposed to be serious that I've witnessed in some time. And what happened to Elias? The coronavirus really destroyed his career...because without a live crowd to heckle his songs he's absolutely nothing. **1/2

DANIEL BRYAN vs. JEY USO vs. KEVIN OWENS vs. KING CORBIN vs. SAMI ZAYN vs. CESARO "ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH" (34:20): This show is kind of a bad remembrance of things past. The last live show I watched with a sold out crowd and people in the stands without masks was last year's Elimination Chamber in Philly in March. A week after that, the whole world was shut down and, unfortunately, things aren't much better a whole year later, even with a vaccine. I remember writing a review of that show and mentioning Japan doing pro-wrestling shows in empty buildings and hoping that it doesn't happen here. The good news is that this show was a lot better than that forgettable show. I guess I'm just used to watching sports now with no fans, fake crowd noise, or sparse crowds with masks on. The Australian Open just ended today, and the men's final had a decent size, rowdy crowd...so I guess in some corners of the Earth things are getting better. And the WWE's "Thunderdome" setup is actually pretty watchable, surprisingly. This was a really good match, very entertaining, with a bunch of good wrestlers (except Corbin) doing good work. Watching Daniel Bryan and Cesaro start out wrestling each other just made me wish this company was smarter and the main event of this show would've just been those two in a 30 minute title match. Bryan won...but winning this was punishment since you had to face Roman Reigns for the title immediately after. ***

ROMAN REIGNS vs. DANIEL BRYAN (1:32): I guess the only reason they did this was so Edge could come in and spear Reigns to set up their Wrestlemania match. Otherwise, what the fuck was the point to humiliate Bryan after delivering him a big win and some momentum? Bryan did put Reigns in a Cross Face briefly, but then Reigns just pounded him and choked him out. 1/2*

MATT RIDDLE vs. BOBBY LASHLEY vs. JOHN MORRISON (8:40): I guess I should be surprised that a genuinely great indie wrestler actually came out of NXT and is on the main roster getting a decent push. Most go to the main roster to die, but here's Matt Riddle (now only referred to as "Riddle" for some unknown, stupid reason) winning the U.S. title (he's also a pretty big mainstay star on RAW these days). I'm not that surprised, though, because I know why he hasn't been destroyed like Ricochet. Vince loves dumb comedy and Matt Riddle's low-IQ "bro" gimmick is pure, dumb comedy bliss. This match certainly would have been better if Keith Lee was in it, although Morrison, even at his old age, looked fantastic with all of his flips and dives. **1/2

NIA JAX & SHAYNA BASZLER vs. SASHA BANKS & BIANCA BELAIR (9:35): Lacey Evans was supposed to face Asuka for the title but Lacey is pregnant in real life. They gave her the great storyline on RAW of getting pregnant by Ric Flair. Okay. Hopefully she doesn't give birth to a hand. So this match seemingly was thrown on a show with, realistically, only four matches (it went 2.5 hours...though they'll make that up in April when Wrestlemania is two nights and probably 16 hours long). It didn't even make sense, really, since Banks and Belair are on Smackdown and Baszler and Jax are on RAW. Jax and Baszler retained the tag team titles. Reggie, who's another comedy character, gave Sasha Banks a champagne bottle to hit Jax over the head with but the ref saw it and Jax used that distraction to slam Banks and pin her. *1/2

DREW McINTYRE vs. AJ STYLES vs. JEFF HARDY vs. RANDY ORTON vs. SHEAMUS vs. KOFI KINGSTON "ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH" (31:10): Good match. The Elimination Chamber has always been one of my favorite WWE PPV's. I guess because it's unique and never boring. AJ looked on fire tonight. He was jumping off the top rope so many times that I was reminiscing to his glory days in New Japan. Fuck...take me back; that G1 semi-final verse Tanahashi? That Okada title match at Dominion? The Nakamura Wrestle Kingdom last match? The Suzuki G1 match of the year? Swoon. I kind of wish AJ actually tried this hard more often. The big thing in this match was when AJ's personal bodyguard ripped the plastic wall off the outside of AJ's chamber so he could escape and enter the ring before his time to enter occurred. That was dumb but I guess something new. Jeff Hardy did a Swanton and a flip off of the top of one of the pods. McIntyre pinned AJ to win and retain his title. ***

THE MIZ vs. DREW McINTYRE (0:30): After the Elimination Chamber match, Bobby Lashley came out and beat up McIntyre. Then The Miz came out and cashed in his Money in the Bank contract and pinned McIntyre fairly quickly to win the title. Groan. The Miz is the champ? Really? They do know it's 2021, right? And The Miz is a joke? Not that he ever wasn't a joke...but I remember when he cashed in a MITB contract to win the title on RAW years and years ago it was pretty cool. Now it's just embarrassing. I get that there's another PPV before Wrestlemania...but you kind of don't want to change titles this close to Wrestlemania. Drew didn't have an opponent for Wrestlemania yet so I guess it's not that bad. Still...the end of this show closing with The Miz as champ just made me want to never watch the WWE again. Even worse is that The Miz cashed in his contract already at TLC in December and failed. Remember? Then on RAW is some stupid storyline he got the briefcase back. I actually watched that episode of RAW and still don't remember why he got his briefcase back. This fucking company. 1/2*