WWE ROYAL RUMBLE

from Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida

NIA JAX & SHAYNA BASZLER vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR & ASUKA (10:30): This was the pre-show match and it went on a little after 6:30 PM and the show ended a little before 11 PM. The show was a little over 4 hours long. Thankfully, the show was entertaining and none of the matches were awful, but I'd still rather see a shorter show. It probably didn't help that 24 minutes elapsed between the end of the women's Rumble match and the Roman Reigns match when all they did was have the panel talk, the 24/7 title change hands, and a bunch of commercials aired. The big story in this match was that Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler won the tag team titles thanks to interference by Ric Flair and Lacey Evans. As stupid as that storyline is, it's probably the most entertaining RAW storyline. Plus, Ric Flair looks like he's having the time of his life getting to hang with a pretty, young blonde. Why four singles wrestlers are randomly in tag teams vying for the title is beyond me. One of the only pure women's tag team that I can think of that the WWE had was The Iconics and they broke them up. Oh, well. *1/2

DREW McINTYRE vs. GOLDBERG (2:30): This match was a bit longer than 2 and a 1/2 minutes because they did a bunch before the bell rang like Goldberg spearing McIntyre through the barrier wall thing at ringside. This was, as expected, short with all big moves. Both men kicked out of the other's finisher. Eventually McIntyre won after a Claymore kick. I'm not entirely sure what the point of this match was, especially since it wasn't the main event or co-main event, but it was entertaining. **1/2

SASHA BANKS vs. CARMELLA (10:25): Most people blame the WWE's nosedive in quality in the last twenty years to bad writing. John Cena was probably the last big star the company produced, but good writing should kind of make stars, right? But I think the one reason the WWE isn't as good anymore is because they split the brands. If they only had RAW and only one set of women's, tag team, and men's championships, I think the quality wouldn't be so diluted and the product would shine and they wouldn't be stuck having to fill airtime and thus letting losers be on TV. So instead of having this match, we'd have gotten Sasha vs. Asuka for the only women's title, which would have been a superior match. This wasn't terrible or anything, just kind of mediocre. Carmella did a through the ropes dive to the floor and pretty much went right past Sasha and landed on her face. That amused me. *1/2

WOMEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE (BIANCA BELAIR) (58:50): Bianca Belair won the Rumble. Really? I couldn't even tell you if she's on RAW or Smackdown. I vaguely remember her being on NXT. She's memorable because of her epic long pony tail braid that she swings around like a rope. I kind of think they had her win because they knew they'd get heat from having an old man, Edge, win the men's Rumble instead of properly giving that to a fresh face that needs a boost or even a regular roster dude. So now you fuckers can't complain because they gave Bianca Belair a shot in the arm. After the match she gave an interview where she legit cried and could barely talk. Jeez...is winning the Royal Rumble that emotional and that big of a deal? It's not by the way, if you were wondering. At least not these days. This match wasn't very good, although it held my interest at least. They pushed Rhea Ripley, although she got tossed out last. Charlotte laughed after getting eliminated which made little sense. There were a few older wrestlers that were surprise entrants, like Tori Wilson. At least the winner was surprising, as the whole match was just okay. **

ROMAN REIGNS vs. KEVIN OWENS "LAST MAN STANDING MATCH" (24:54): This was a good match but they botched part of the ending and the finish was poor. Both men climbed up into the stands where all the video screens of people at home are. Reigns threw Owens off of the stands and through a table. Then they went outside the Thunderdome into the baseball stadium area. This was visually very cool, as you could see the cavernous, empty stadium and it made a really interesting backdrop. There's no baseball field, it's just a black floor. I guess they just throw an astroturf rug over it when baseball starts. Reigns hit Owens with a golf cart, so I guess somebody loved the AEW Sami golf cart spot. Owens put Reigns through two tables out there in the stadium. Owens climbed up a forklift and did a Senton bomb onto Reigns and a table which was the highlight. Then came the botch. Owens handcuffed Reigns to a post and Reigns couldn't stand up to make the 10 count so Reigns pushed the ref into the post and knocked him out. The problem was that another ref came out and started to count. Paul Heyman had the keys to the handcuffs and couldn't get them uncuffed so the ref just stopped counting at 5 because the finish wasn't for Reigns to lose. Ugh. That looked terrible. I hope they try to explain that on Smackdown. Finally, Heyman got Reigns out of the handcuffs and he put Owens in a sleeper hold and Owens couldn't get up for the 10 count. Good match with a bad finish. These two are always in good hardcore matches. I'm wondering who will face Reigns for the title at 'Mania. There are still 2 PPV's before 'Mania, though, which kind of makes the winners of the Rumble matches go to 'Mania a stupid thing. Will we see another Lesnar/Reigns match? Edge/Reigns? I'm trying to think who's a babyface on Smackdown. There's Daniel Bryan. Who else? AJ's a heel. Kevin Owens already lost to Reigns like ten times. They should totally fly Walter in from Germany. He's a heel but who cares, he's the WWE's best wrestler. ***

MEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE (EDGE) (58:30): This was entertaining but not really a great Rumble or anything. Edge won which is weird considering he's an old man and not a regular. Edge entered at #1. There were some surprises like Kane, who looked fat, Hurricane Helms, Carlito, and Christian. Seth Rollins and Braun Strowman came back after both being out for awhile. #2 was Orton and so Edge and Orton battled outside the ring for awhile until Edge hit Orton's leg with a chair and Orton went to the back. So of course Orton came back out at the end to surprise Edge but Edge tossed him out to win. Rollins and Strowman were out there at the end. Matt Riddle lasted until the end, too. Ricochet was in there but didn't do too much. Mysterio and his son were both in it. The only NXT guy was Damian Priest, who looked decent. AJ's tall bodyguard guy kept helping him from being eliminated. Christian looked like a million bucks. Where the hell has he been hiding? So who will Edge face at 'Mania? 'Mania is 2 nights this year. It's going to be at Tampa's football stadium so there will be some fans. Drew McIntyre and Roman Reigns are the two champions. I guess Edge vs. Reigns makes the most sense. Is that a big match? Does anyone want to see that? No and no. And so it goes. **1/2