WWE SUMMERSLAM

Orlando

APOLLO CREWS vs. MVP (6:40): I noted in the NXT: Takeover 30 review that the only reason I watched that show or this show was because the WWE emailed me and offered me a free month of the WWE network. This was probably the weekend to start watching, as they introduced The Thunderdome (sadly, Tina Turner wasn't around...is she even still alive? That "Thunderdome" song of hers was a good one, though). Ratings have plummeted and Vince and co. wanted a fresh look for the shows since they've all been taking place at the performance center since March (except for NXT...which takes place at Full Sail University even though they both look pretty much the same). So the WWE decided to rent out the Amway Center in Orlando, which is where the Orlando Magic play. The WWE has it booked until October. So what they did was have TV screens in all of the seats in the lower level that show fans watching the show from their computers. Plus the WWE has a thousand laser lights that make the presentation look colorful and fresh, albeit too busy. It is rather difficult to pay attention to the in-ring moves and action with the wall of fan's faces. They also added fake crowd noise which helps, as those silent, empty building shows in March and April were unwatchable. This all meant that this show was better to watch than the WWE has been...that, or maybe I'm just used to watching things without crowds in the U.S. The other thing I wondered about was...is "Thunderdome" not trademarked? I mean...that's a famous movie. I guess not. This match was the pre-show. I haven't been watching any WWE lately so I'm not sure why MVP is back after a decade. This was forgettable. 1/2*

BAYLEY vs. ASUKA (11:35): Bayley retained the Smackdown women's title. This was just okay. Bayley and Sasha Banks are a heel team now and Asuka had to face both of them in one night for some reason. I still think turning Bayley heel was a terrible move. 1/2*

THE STREET PROFITS vs. ANDRADE & ANGEL GARZA (7:50): Hmmm. The Street Profits are the tag team champs? Okay. They're kind of like AEW's Private Party. Two apparently "cool" black dudes that do some high flying. Andrade is great, and, if the WWE was smart, would have made him champion years ago. But he's stuck in lame tag feuds. Ugh. This fucking company. There wasn't much too this. Realistically, what do you expect from an 8 minute match? *

MANDY ROSE vs. SONYA DEVILLE "LOSER LEAVES WWE MATCH" (10:05): This was actually pretty good, although why they went and did this match is beyond me. In real life last week, a crazy stalker guy broke into Sonya Deville's house and was going to kidnap her. Sonya and Mandy were both in the house when this happened but heard the alarms go off and got out safely. The police arrested the guy and this match was changed from a "Loser Gets Their Head Shaved Match" to a "Loser Leaves the WWE Match" (the latter being more of a good thing, no?). I'm assuming that's because they want to give Sonya some time off to probably move and/or take a much needed vacation. They probably should have just cancelled this match since Sonya was almost just kidnapped and probably raped and murdered. Think her head's on straight to fucking wrestle? Well since these two are friends they beat the shit out of each other with aplomb. Mandy is gorgeous...and I forgot that the WWE's best storyline in years revolved around her and Otis but the pandemic kind of ruined that. Otis did come out to congratulate Otis so I guess that storyline had a happy ending. They used a table and chairs in this. It was probably as good as it ever was going to be. **1/2

SETH ROLLINS vs. DOMINIK MYSTERIO "STREET FIGHT" (22:35): This was the best match of the night mostly because it was a classic, melee clusterfuck. So Seth Rollins rammed Rey Mysterio's head into the ring steps last month which caused Rey to lose his eye in the "Eye for an Eye Match." Yep...there was a match where to win you had to gouge out someone's eye. So I guess Rey's son, Dominik, wanted revenge. Rey was at ringside and ended up being handcuffed while his son was beaten. Rey's wife and Dominik's mother was backstage and eventually came out by the stage to watch. Buddy Murphy, Seth Rollin's evil assistant, ended up interfering and beating up everyone. They used a Singapore cane and chairs in this. This was just a lot of fun and crazy and wild even though Dominik is as green as they come. **1/2

ASUKA vs. SASHA BANKS (11:25): Asuka won in a brutal match. She took a ring apron power-bomb move similar to Hiromu's move that had Asuka slamming down hard on the floor and obviously getting a concussion. Asuka delivered a top rope DDT on Banks. Sasha eventually tapped out and lost the RAW title. In spots this reminded me of those great, NXT women's matches of old that usually involved Sasha Banks. Those were the days. **1/2

DREW MCINTYRE vs. RANDY ORTON (20:35): Are they out of options? For a show that's supposed to be the 2nd biggest show of the year...this card didn't exactly feature any big matches. Brock Lesnar, their usual to-go guy on big shows, hasn't been around since 'Mania, Cena is doing movies, and Roman didn't return until the finale. And a lot of the usual WWE guys didn't wrestle on this show; AJ Styles, Daniel Bryan, King Corbin, Sheamus, Kevin Owens, Ricochet, Matt Riddle, The Miz, John Morrison, The New Day, The Uso's, Dolph Ziggler, Aleister Black, Cesaro, Shinsuke Nakamura, Charlotte Flair, etc. I haven't been watching the WWE lately, but all of those people can't be injured, can they? Are some of them afraid to leave their house during the pandemic? Either way, this wasn't a big match, big name Summerslam. Case in point: the big RAW title match was Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre, a pretty lame match even if it was on a random Smackdown. They did end up having a pretty entertaining match, albeit nothing special, although giving it 20 minutes probably helped it since the WWE loves 10 minute or less matches for some reason and they never have room to grow and build up any kind of drama. McIntyre won, which is kind of surprising since he's fairly boring. **1/2

'THE FIEND' BRAY WYATT vs. BRAUN STROWMAN "FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH" (12:00): Ugh. They should have ended this show with McIntyre retaining. The Fiend won the title from Braun here...although wasn't The Fiend the champion? I think he lost to Goldberg somewhere...and I guess Braun beat Goldberg? Who knows? More importantly, who cares? This match sucked. Last month these two had a swamp fight that was worse. But it was at least amusing. These two didn't do much. They brawled backstage but didn't go far...they only went into the prep room area for a minute or two. Braun was bleeding thanks to a DDT. Wyatt looked as fat as ever. Braun took a box cutter and cut the ring mat to expose the wood and he ended up getting Wyatt's finisher on the wood. This just made me reminisce about Omega doing a Phoenix splash onto the wooden floor below the mat at last year's AEW Full Gear. That was one of the most painful moves I've ever seen. Here it didn't have quite the impact. After Wyatt won, Roman Reigns returned to spear both men for some reason. I guess Roman has been out for awhile so this was a big deal. Eh. For whatever reason, the WWE is doing another PPV a week after this show. So they're having a three way with Roman vs. Wyatt vs. Braun. They did this thirty years ago after a Survivor Series when Hogan lost the title to The Undertaker but then won it back six days later on another PPV called Tuesday in Texas or something lame. It didn't work 30 years ago, why do they think it'll work now? 1/2*