WWE TABLES, LADDERS, CHAIRS & STAIRS

Cleveland

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. LUKE HARPER "LADDER MATCH": Well Ziggler is being pushed again. Weird how he had that "lost" year. I guess Vince and creative realized they need more top stars. The fans won't remember how we buried Ziggler for over a year after he won the title then lost it without being pinned. Whatever. Good match, albeit more hard to watch than entertaining. All of the bumps were painful looking. There was blood. Harper looked like he broke his arm. There weren't any major spots...just pain. **1/2 (out of ****)

MIZ & MIZDOW vs. THE USO'S: The Miz and his stunt double, Damien "Mizdow" Sandow, kept the titles because they lost by DQ. It's like no matter how hard the WWE tries to bury Sandow he keeps coming out on top (the crowd loves Mizdow). This was pure comedy. And pure filler. It's a little sad that the WWE has become a kid's comedy show whereas companies like New Japan put on pure wrestling shows and are superior. NXT had a special event four days before this ppv and every critic/fan online raved about it while they thought this ppv was so-so. NXT is more wrestling based. The "skits" and comedy aren't prominent. I think a healthy mix "for everyone" is good...but it really seems like the WWE these days is 90% a kaleidoscopic carnival. 1/2*

BIG SHOW vs. ERICK ROWAN "STAIRS MATCH": So this match made them change the name of this ppv from TLC to TLC&S. Yawn. They should not have split up the great tag team of Harper and Rowan because they had a great tag team and now they have two dull single wrestlers. And why, honestly, is The Big Show not retired? 1/2*

JOHN CENA vs. SETH ROLLINS "TABLES MATCH": I've always hated tables matches because only one table will be broken. I want to see a hundred tables broken. Well in this match everyone circumnavigated the rules so that a plethora of tables were indeed smashed. Cena put Rollins through a table when the ref was knocked out so it didn't count. Both guys fell through two tables at ringside at the same time so it didn't count. Roman Reigns later came out to spear The Big Show through a table. And finally, Cena put Rollins through a table to win. So it was wild, fairly entertaining. And, honestly, this should've been the main event. **1/2

NIKKI BELLA vs. A.J. LEE: Ah...the illustrious women's division. Why do they bother? 1/2*

RYBACK vs. KANE "CHAIRS MATCH": This was actually worse than the women's match. Nikki is at least eye candy. AJ is a decent wrestler stuck in a mediocre creative division. But Ryback and Kane have pretty much nothing to work with. They're awful and have always been. -No Stars-

RUSEV vs. JACK SWAGGER: Short. Bad. They're pushing the hell out of Rusev and I can't figure out why. He's not entertaining out of or in the ring. He's like a bygone villain of 1987's WWE. Wake up, Vince. 1/2*

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BRAY WYATT "TLC MATCH": Good match with a weird, awful end. Ambrose ended up leaping off a ladder through Wyatt on a table then did it again with a bigger ladder then did it again with a bigger ladder and the Spanish announce table. But the end...my God the end. Was that how it was supposed to end? If so...who actually thought that would be a compelling end to a ppv? So Ambrose pulls in a TV to the ring but it was still plugged in. So when Ambrose pulled it to get the cords loose the thing exploded in a hail of sparks. Ambrose, blind. Wyatt gets up and finishes him and wins. Huh. So Dean causes himself to lose. Why not have Wyatt hit Ambrose with the TV and it explodes? Cool ending! But no. Super lame finish. Good match up to that. **1/2

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

St. Louis

STARDUST & GOLDUST vs. THE USO'S vs. THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW vs. LOS MATADORES: I thought this match might be good since, with eight guys wrestling, it wouldn't be boring. Sadly, it didn't turn out all that great. I'd much rather see The Uso's vs. The Wyatt Family on every ppv until the end of time. To add salt to the wound, The Miz and his shadow won the tag titles. Ugh. *1/2 (out of ****)

NATALYA & NAOMI & EMMA & ALICIA FOX vs. PAIGE & SUMMER RAE & CAMERON & LAYLA: I always rag on the women's division because, let's face it, there's never been a good match or interesting storyline ever. The WWE doesn't even try to create long-term, compelling feuds with these women so why should I care? Paige was the lone one left in this traditional SS elimination match and lost. 1/2*

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BRAY WYATT: These two sort of tried a B-version of a tough, hard NJPW match. Didn't entirely work. Ambrose got DQ'd when he used a chair and then jumped off the top rope and elbow dropped Wyatt through a table...setting up next month's TLC match. **

ADAM ROSE & THE BUNNY vs. TITUS O'NEILL & HEATH SLATER: What's worse? A guy in an Easter Bunny suit wrestling or an entire 5 person team of Doink the Clowns? Discuss. -No Stars-

AJ LEE vs. NIKKI BELLA: Nikki won the coveted women's title. Okay. I guess at least AJ tries. Like swimming up river, though. *

JOHN CENA & RYBACK & DOLPH ZIGGLER & THE BIG SHOW & ERICK ROWAN vs. RUSEV & MARK HENRY & SETH ROLLINS & KANE & LUKE HARPER: This match, literally, was an hour long (granted, the opening package and entrances took over ten minutes and the post-match meltdown was about five). It was a typical RAW main event until the end. Mark Henry got KO'd and pinned by The Big Show to start the match...which makes no sense since later The Big Show KO'd his own teammate, John Cena, and then shook HHH's hand. Rusev jumped through the Spanish announce table and got counted out. Ziggler was the lone good guy left and won thanks to Sting coming out and helping him after Sting gave HHH the Death Drop or whatever his finisher is called. HHH knocked out a few refs to prevent Ziggler from winning and Sting saved the day. This means HHH and Stephanie are out as RAW's evil bosses. Good. This was a mediocre match. Good finish, though. Really, for a free ppv (the WWE Network numbers were so bad that they decided to give everyone this show for free which would have helped if the ppv wasn't awful) you'd think they'd try and showcase the best of WWE to get new subscribers. This was the worst ppv I've seen in years. Good ending but...like putting lipstick on a pig, no? **

WWE HELL IN THE CELL

Dallas

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. CESARO "2 OUT OF 3 FALLS": Good match, albeit Ziggler won two straight falls so it wasn't as dramatic as it could've been. What does this mean for Cesaro? I thought he'd be in the main event picture by now. Oh, well. **1/2 (out of ****)

BRIE BELLA vs. NIKKI BELLA: Just okay. Brie has to be Nikki's assistant (i.e. slave) for a month. Can't wait for those hilarious RAW vignettes.
*

THE USOS vs. STARDUST & GOLDUST: Not as good as their last match on ppv. It was kind of the same old shit. *1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN CENA "HELL IN THE CELL": All in all this was a better match than the main event, but the main event had spectacle and felt fresh. I'm sick of these two so I didn't really care about the near falls. It was entertaining but I never want to see these two again. **

THE MIZ vs. SHEAMUS: A comedy show. I feel bad for Sandow. 1/2*

THE BIG SHOW vs. RUSEV: Well Rusev suplexed The Big Show. That was cool. That was about it. *1/2

AJ LEE vs. PAIGE: Eh. Mediocre. *

SETH ROLLINS vs. DEAN AMBROSE "HELL IN THE CELL": Well finally someone falls off the frigging Hell in the Cell. When was the last time that happened? The nineties? Granted, the thing is taller now then when Mankind fell off it. And...these two both fell halfway while climbing down then stopping to beat each other. The falls were pretty sick...and the bell hadn't even rung. So the match starts with Ambrose climbing up to the top. Rollins sends his two security guards up then climbs up. They fight, fall, then climb off stretchers to eventually get inside. The crowd was mostly silent when the fight was in the ring. Not good for these two and their future as main eventers. They broke tables and used chairs and then the lights hit and Bray Wyatt was in the ring and slammed Ambrose leaving Rollins to pin him. Great opening half, terrible ending. I wanted to see these two finish the match. But no, WWE ruined another one. **1/2

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS

Nashville

STARDUST & GOLDUST vs. THE USO'S: The end was pretty fun with a lot of near falls. It was not as good as The Uso's vs. The Wyatt family matches, though. The weirdo's won the titles. ** (out of ****)

SHEAMUS vs. CESARO: The match of the night. Reminded me of a New Japan match. Back and forth, hard hitting, got better towards the end. Really, I'd rather see a WWE ppv with a main event title match like this. Oh, well. ***

THE MIZ vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Not that good, mostly because of the atrocious announcers busy talking with country music band The Georgia Line who was sitting in. Ziggler is wild, crazy, and fun to watch. It's a shame he's in the fucking doghouse. *1/2

SETH ROLLINS vs. DEAN AMBROSE: Roman Reigns is out recovering from hernia surgery...which left Rollins without an opponent. He came out and gave an open challenge so of course Ambrose shows up and beats him up around the arena until security breaks it up.

RUSEV vs. MARK HENRY: Awfully boring. Not sure why they push Rusev so hard. He's so dull. At least put him in with a high flyer to excite us. 1/2*

RANDY ORTON vs. JERICHO: Good flurry finish with some exciting near falls and back and forth action. Started kind of slow, though. **1/2

BRIE BELLA vs. PAIGE vs. AJ: Pretty much an all-over-the-map mess. 1/2*

BROCK LESNAR vs. JOHN CENA: Last month it was a one-sided destruction. This time Cena almost won. It was still mostly a destruction but Cena got more offense in. Towards the end Cena was winning, gave Lesnar his finisher and then Seth Rollins came out and hit Cena with the MITB briefcase. This caused a DQ win for Cena. Rollins tried to cash his contract in but Cena beat him up. It was more entertaining than last month's match. That's not saying much. I guess this, sigh, means another match. **

WWE SUMMERSLAM

From Los Angeles

THE MIZ vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Decent opener. Ziggler wins the IC title. The Miz is just not a good wrestler, so that didn't help. But it was high energy with some good near falls. **1/2 (out of ****)

PAIGE vs. AJ: Better than last month. Paige is gorgeous so that helps. And better as a heel. It was okay. **

RUSEV vs. JACK SWAGGER "FLAG MATCH": Russia won! And they played the Russian national anthem. I kind of thought the flags were supposed to be on a pole? *1/2

DEAN AMBROSE vs. SETH ROLLINS "LUMBERJACK MATCH": The match of the night! Who knew? Lumberjack matches suck. But these two ended up escaping and going into the crowd. Ambrose also dove off the top rope down onto Rollins and the lumberjacks when they were carrying him towards the ring. And Ambrose ran across the announce table and lept over the guardrail to clothesline/tackle Rollins and a few lumberjacks. This was a wild mele. Fun stuff. Rollins hit Ambrose with the MITB and won. ***

CHRIS JERICHO vs. BRAY WYATT: These two just don't mesh. At all. 1/2*

STEPHANIE McMAHON vs. BRIE BELLA: So Brie's sister, Nicky, turned heel and Stephanie won. I guess that's okay. I am, like everyone, sick of this owner/heel story. Enough. It was mediocre. *1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. ROMAN REIGNS: Sadly, Reigns is not the "future." He just isn't that compelling. This was decent late but not all that good. *1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. JOHN CENA: Tonight I realized why everyone loves NJPW. They never do what the WWE always does: a beat-down followed by a miraculous comeback. NJPW usually does back and forth action throughout. This match, however, was a beat-down. Period. Lesnar gave Cena 16 German suplexes. Cena had three very short comebacks but it was a one-sided destruction. Good storyline for the future; Lesnar, the unbeatable champ. But bad for entertainment purposes. This was a fucking bore. 1/2*

WWE BATTLEGROUND

Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Tampa, FL

Crazy that it's July 20th already. Right? Summer flying by. Didn't help that the WWE's annual great ppv, Money in the Bank, was pushed earlier to June. & this, Battleground, is an odd duck. CM Punk quit, Daniel Bryan is hurt, no Brock Lesnar on this B-show...and Battleground is between MITB and Summerslam. So...yeah. The opener and main event were good. The rest was bad. So it goes.

THE USO'S vs. LUKE HARPER & ERIK ROWAN "2 OUT OF 3 FALLS": Great match. The first two falls were so-so but the 3rd fall was epic and awesome. These two teams really click, which is good. ***

SETH ROLLINS vs. DEAN AMBROSE: Never happened. Ambrose beat up Rollins backstage so HHH barred him from the building and canceled the match. This didn't prevent Ambrose from attacking Rollins in the ring later and then in the parking lot later on. Not sure why they didn't have a match. I guess to build up their match at Summerslam.

AJ LEE vs. PAIGE: Man...Paige botched a ton of spots. Probably because Vince McMahon doesn't like her and she knows it and her dreams of being a WWE star are perhaps over. -No Stars-

RUSEV vs. JACK SWAGGER: So Rusev, who's Bulgarian, has a Russian spokeswoman that comes to ring with him and praises Vladimir Putin and puts down the U.S. This is all well and good, but she mentioned something in the news and American propaganda. On Thursday, pro-Russian rebels in the Ukraine shot down a plane that killed 298 people. So of course the news had a field day with this saying the WWE made fun of a plane crash or something stupid. That was realistically the only interesting thing about this match and it not only happened a day later but involved pre-match talk. Sigh. 1/2*

CHRIS JERICHO vs. BRAY WYATT: Jericho is back. & he won! These two just didn't mesh at all. *

BATTLE ROYAL (THE MIZ): The winner won the IC title. Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler battled last and Ziggler won! But no...The Miz had gone under the ropes and waited. He came in and tossed Ziggler over the ropes and won. Nobody likes The Miz. So why is he here? *1/2

JOHN CENA vs. ROMAN REIGNS vs. KANE vs. RANDY ORTON: A good match. The end had a lot of big moves and near-falls and it was exciting. Not as good as a Daniel Bryan vs. ? title match would've been but this is what we're stuck with. **1/2

WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

Sunday, June 29th, 2014
Boston

THE USOS vs. HARPER & ROWAN: Good opener. Fast-paced, brutal, the early, non-asleep/tired crowd was alive. The tag team division is actually decent lately, perhaps cuz they have to fill 3 hours every Monday. **1/2

PAIGE vs. NAOMI: Paige is hot. Paige is not an entertaining in-ring performer. Even Vince doesn't think so as AJ beat her for the title on Monday's RAW. 1/2*

ADAM ROSE vs. DAMIAN SANDOW: A year ago, Sandow was winning the MITB match. Now he's dressed as Paul Revere losing to the terribly dry Rose. What happened, kid? *

SETH ROLLINS vs. DEAN AMBROSE vs. RVD vs. KOFI KINGSTON vs. JACK SWAGGER vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER "MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH": The greatest match I've ever seen...until Kane's ring-post fireworks erupted and he came out to help Rollins win. So why was this a great match? Easy. Ambrose. See...Ambrose apparently separated his shoulder and was forced to the back. Later he ran out, the crowd went ape-shit and he ascended the ladder and was going to win and the pop would have been Daniel Bryan-loud and...yeah, Kane came out. These six guys took sick, sadistic bumps. A wild, full-on assult of a ladder match. Ambrose took a wicked suplex off the top rope. Rollins took a flip off the top of the ladder, landed on a ladder bridge which collapsed and he fell to the mat while hitting his head on the standing ladder. This was sick, awesome, one for the ages. The late, "corporate" interference ruined it all. Thanks. Still awesome for the majority, though. ***1/2

STARDUST & GOLDUST vs. RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL:

BIG E vs. RUSEV: Not bad. Not good. Big E did his through-the-ropes dive and took Rusev off the apron to the floor. It was typical I guess. *1/2

LAYLA vs. SUMMER RAE: Fandango was the special ref. Yep, this show had two women's matches. 1/2*

BRAY WYATT vs. KANE vs. SHEAMUS vs. CESARO vs. ROMAN REIGNS vs. RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN CENA vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO "LADDER MATCH":  So to return to the first ladder match's story, Cena prevented Kane from again helping the evil ones and Orton from winning. But man was this a bad ladder match, especially compared to the awesomeness of the first one. These eight lumbering bores took no chances, did no big spots. And Cena, the 15 time champ now, won the title. It wasn't horrible just not very good. **

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY

Sunday, June 15th, 2014
Arlington, Texas

SEIYA SANADA vs. TIGRE UNO vs. MANIK vs. CRAZZY STEVE vs. EDDIE EDWARDS vs. DAVEY RICHARDS "LADDER MATCH": So there was a ladder match, a cage match, and a death match. I guess TNA can't get by on regular old wrestling, eh? I'm not complaining. This opener was a bit too short but definitely wild. One of the Wolves, Richards, got flipped off the top rope onto a ladder arranged atop the top rope and ladder. That was the brutal move of the night. Just a bunch of craziness, really. Sanada retains the X-Division title. He did do a moonsault onto someone laying atop a ladder. That was sick. ***

 SOMOA JOE vs. BOBBY LASHLEY: Not bad. Crowd was good tonight. The winner of this and the Aries/King match goes into the main event against champ Young. **

WILLOW vs. MAGNUS: Jeff Hardy is Willow. Willow is weird. That's the gimmick. He did do a backwards leap/Nestea plunge from the top rope onto Magnus and Bram which was pretty crazy actually. Other then that it was pretty lame. *1/2

AUSTIN ARIES vs. KENNY KING: Eh. Aries needs to go to the WWE yesterday. King is mediocre. *1/2

ROSS & MARSHALL VON ERICH vs. DJ ZEMA ION & JESSIE GODDERZ: I'm too young to remember the Von Erich's. But these are Kevin Von Erich's sons. Kevin did get in the ring late and the crowd went nuts. Fuck...I'm 34 and too young to remember these guys. Who the hell in that audience does? Not a particularly good match. Ion and Golderrz used a chair and lost by DQ. **

ANGELINA LOVE vs. GAIL KIM: I'll be honest: I didn't watch this.

BULLY RAY vs. ETHAN CARTER III "TEXAS DEATH MATCH": This was a "Last Man Standing Match." They just called it a TDM for no other reason then it was in Texas. They did use broken glass. Bully fell through two tables at ringside and lost. It was entertaining but mostly dumb. **

MR. ANDERSON vs. JAMES STORM: Not good. Storm spit beer at a few Dallas Cowboys at ringside and the one interfered in the ring and cost Storm to lose. Eh. *

ERIC YOUNG vs. BOBBY LASHLEY vs. AUSTIN ARIES "CAGE MATCH":  Young did an elbow drop off the top of the cage. He retained. A decent main event to a decent show. The problem? Young lost the title to Lashley on Impact four days after this show...so what was the point of him retaining here? **1/2

WWE PAYBACK

Sunday, June 1st
Chicago

I kind of feel bad for those in Chicago at this show because game seven of the Eastern Conference NHL finals between the Blackhawks and the Kings was on at the same time in Chicago (albeit, Payback is over and it's 11:11 PM and the game is still on and tied in OT). Thought most fake-sport fans probably don't watch real sports. Although every heel on this show mentioned how the Blackhawks would lose and a guy in the second row was dressed as a clown and wearing a Blackhawks jersey.

TORITO vs. HORNSWOGGLE "MASK vs. HAIR": Yes, you read that right. I'm wondering if this was WWE's first ever hair vs. mask match. Mexico does it every day practically. Not a good match but 3MB and Los Matadores got involved and everyone took turns jumping off the top rope onto a pile of men that fell over. And then the ridiculous shave. This was on the pre-show. *1/2

CESARO vs. SHEAMUS: And the Blackhawks did lose in OT. The heels were right. And this was a fairly good show, albeit with some lame undercard matches. This was not lame. A good, high-action, back and forth wrestling match. Finisher was bad (Cesaro gave Sheamus The Swing and then Sheamus rolled Cesaro up in a small package to win and keep his U.S. title). I still don't get how Cesaro is a heel...but he's had some good matches this year so far and I wouldn't be surprised if he's fighting for the real title later this year. **1/2

RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL vs. GOLDDUST & CODY RHODES: Not very good. Rhodes quit his team post-match. 1/2*

RUSEV vs. BIG E: Yeah, the undercard mostly blew. Big E did do his patented tackle through the ropes maneuver which is always cool. Del Rio, Swagger, and Dolph Ziggler didn't wrestle on this show. But Bo Dallas and Alicia Fox did. And no WWE title defense. So weird show. 1/2*

BAD NEWS BARRETT vs. RVD: Barrett is funny but a boring wrestler. RVD is old. This is what you get. 1/2*

DANIEL BRYAN, BRIE BELLA & STEPHANIE MCMAHON: So Bryan, who had neck surgery and is out for awhile, had to give up the title or his wife, Brie, would be fired. The Chicago crowd chanted, "CM Punk!" Stephanie said something about how the people want Bryan to quit like Punk did. Brie Bella said that she quit then called Stephanie a bitch and slapped her. Good segment. Bryan, if ready, will fight Kane in a stretcher match for the title on June 29th at MITB. Otherwise...a MITB match for the title. **1/2

JOHN CENA vs. BRAY WYATT "LAST MAN STANDING": Good match. Yes, Cena in a good match. Thank the tables and chairs and the Wyatt family and Uso's. Luke Harper gave one of the Uso's a suplex off the top rope through two tables. Cena threw the steel ring steps over the top rope at Bray on the floor. The finish had Bray pinned under a utility crate over by the pyrotechnic desk. He couldn't get up and lost. Wild stuff with a lame end. ***

PAIGE vs. ALICIA FOX: Paige is the hottest chick in wrestling in a long time. Sadly, she's not entertaining in the ring. 1/2*

THE SHIELD vs. EVOLUTION "NO HOLDS BARRED ELIMINATION MATCH": A good, long main event. They brawled everywhere. Seth Rollins lept off the lower half of the titan tron. They used Singapore canes and the ring steps. Reigns was put through the announce table. After thirty minutes finally all three members of Evolution were pinned and eliminated. Sweep. Good clusterfuck melee. Batista, who wore a ridiculous blue outfit, was pelted with "Bluetista" chants. He quit on RAW. The end of this feud I suppose. ***

WWE EXTREME RULES

Sunday, May 4th, 2014
East Rutherford, NJ

HORNSWOGGLE vs. TORITO "WEELC MATCH": The match of the night. And it was free on the pre-show. This was a midget tlc match. So little tables, chairs, ref, and announcers. Hilarity ensues. The three little announcers sat at a small desk that Hornswoggle put Torito through. The announcers were Jerry Smaller, JB Elf, and Micro Cole. Whoever wrote that needs to put more of that creativity into the rest of the show. 3MB and Los Matadores eventually got in the mix and went through big tables and ladders at ringside. Yes, this was a farce but hugely entertaining. ***

JACK SWAGGER vs. RVD vs. CESARO: Eh. Cesaro had a great match on NXT awhile back but hasn't been as good on the main shows. Swagger is dull, RVD is good but been-there-done-that. An okay opener. **

ALEXANDER RUSEV vs. R. TRUTH & XAVIER WOODS: A squash. Funny that Rusev's lady friend put Vladimir Putin's picture on the Titantron and lauded him to the crowd. Other than that...1/2*

BIG E. vs. BAD NEWS BARRETT: A new IC champ! Who cares? Barrett is at least amusing on the mic, but both guys are pretty boring in the ring. Big E. did a dive through the rope and tackled Barrett off the apron and onto the floor. That was cool. *

THE SHIELD vs. EVOLUTION: Good match. Seth Rollins did a New Jack dive off a balcony and onto HHH and Orton. That was wild. Batista got pinned. Funny how Rollins, the one not being pushed, is turning out to be the true star. **1/2

BRAY WYATT vs. JOHN CENA "CAGE MATCH": Ugh. The two members of The Wyatt Family not in the match both climbed the cage, interfered, and were basically in the match. The lights went out, returned, and a child in a robe on the mic at the cage door sang a line from the song, "He got the whole world in his hands," and Cena, momentarily confused, got Wyatt's finisher and then Wyatt left the cage. Stupid ending. *1/2

PAIGE vs. TAMINA: Women's matches are dull. Paige is chalk-white, young, and hot...but for the love of god, give them ladders, tables, or something to entertain us. 1/2*

KANE vs. DANIEL BRYAN: The writer's room was probably so baffled at how to make this good they said, "Do a flaming table!" So they did...the first time in WWE since Edge/Mick Foley at 'Mania, right? Kane lit the table at ringside on fire then climbed up on the apron and Bryan pushed him into it. Ringside guys put it out and then Kane, dazed, entered the ring, got a flying knee, and was pinned. They did cane shots, Bryan went through the announce table, and after backstage brawling, Bryan put Kane on a forklift and drove him to the ring then climbed up on the pallet on the forklift and dove off and delivered a flying headbutt. Most of this was terrible, though. Bad feud. **

TNA SACRIFICE

Sunday, April 27th, 2014
Orlando

There was a time when I genuinely liked TNA. I used to look forward to their ppv's. Often I liked their ppv's better than the WWE's. Perhaps I'm just a WCW guy through and through, because TNA just feels like WCW all over again, and this time it's reminiscent of the end. For reasons nobody knows, TNA put two ppv's back to back this year even though they only have four. If you only have four...shouldn't you make them special? What the fuck was special about this show? I watched one match on this show in it's entirety, the others I fast-forwarded and watched in spots. This was just a demoralizing show. How this company still exists is beyond me. And the saddest fact is they have a stellar roster: Somoa Joe, Jeff Hardy, Kurt Angle, Austin Aries. C'mon! Wake...up.

BRO MANS & DJ ZEMA ION vs. THE WOLVES: Good, high-action opener. The Wolves won the titles even though it was 3 vs. 2 for no reason. **1/2

SAMUEL SHAW vs. MR. ANDERSON: The loser gets committed! To an asylum! Feels like bad Vince Russo. And the premise was funnier than the match. Pretty dull. *

WILLOW & KURT ANGLE vs. ECIII & ROCK STAR SPUD: TNA's biggest star is now wrestling under a mask and pseudonym. Makes sense to hide their popular guy, right? This match was short and awful. Not sure what the point was. 1/2*

SANADA vs. TIGRE UNO: Not bad. Felt too choreographed, not fluid enough. Uno gave Sanada a sick twist/flip into a spike DDT. Cool moves...just didn't mesh. **

JAMES STORM vs. GUNNER "I QUIT MATCH": Not as good as last month's cage brawl. Gunner bled from a beer bottle hit to the head. Gunner suplexed Storm from the top rope onto a guardrail set up between two chairs. Storm quit when Gunner had a piece of glass and started cutting his face. The WWE can't do this stuff, so it was unique. **

MADISON RAYNE vs. VELVET SKY: The Beautiful People are the kind of sluts you'd fuck and feel bad about it in the morning. This was pretty lame. 1/2*

BULLY RAY vs. BOBBY ROODE "TABLES MATCH": Dixie dressed up in a fake beard as a crew member and pushed Bully Ray off the top rope through a table. Then she took the beard off right there. Shocking! This was boring. 1/2*

MAGNUS vs. ERIC YOUNG: I admit...I said TNA should make Eric Young the champ years ago. He's entertaining, a decent wrestler, and a crowd favorite. Sadly, they gave him the title on a random Impact show. Everyone thinks they did it because Eric Young looks like Daniel Bryan. The underdog with the beard is apparently in vogue in pro-wrestling. So they stick Young in a feud with the world's most boring wrestler. It was a mediocre match to a poor, pointless show. *

WWE WRESTLEMANIA XXX

Sunday, April 6th, 2014
New Orleans

THE ROCK, HULK HOGAN, & 'STONE COLD' STEVE AUSTIN: To start the show these three dudes came out, did their one-liners and usual schtick, then left. It was kind of cool and mostly pointless.

THE USO'S vs. LOS MATADORES vs. THE REAL AMERICANS vs. RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL: This was on the pre-show, which is ridiculous because why do they have a pre-show when the show is already four hours? I only caught some of this. Good action. Cesaro turned face post-match.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. HHH: Good match. Not spectacular. HHH is rarely in great matches. After Bryan won, HHH beat him up. I think having Bryan in two matches would have been good six months ago when he was super hot...now he's just hot. But CM Punk quitting really turned this show around. The original plan for this show was Bryan vs. Sheamus, HHH vs. Punk, and Batista vs. Orton. Horrible! So it turned out better. **1/2

THE SHIELD vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS & KANE: They should have had The Wyatt's vs. The Shield on this show. This pointless match was short and fairly dull. *1/2

THE ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL (CESARO): Ugh. No one likes a battle royal. The winner gets a trophy. Why not have the winner get, I dunnoh, a title shot? Cesaro wasn't even supposed to be in this...he was #31 in a 30-man match. Cesaro picking up The Big Show and tossing him over the top rope to win was cool. 1/2*

JOHN CENA vs. BRAY WYATT: Not sure why this match was on the biggest show of the year. To make it fairly obvious and apparent that Vince McMahon and HHH didn't believe in Daniel Bryan for real...they had Bryan lose to Wyatt at The Royal Rumble and even though Cena got nothing out of this victory and was the betting underdog he still had to win tonight. I honestly think one reason The Undertaker didn't want to retire with an undefeated WM streak was because of Cena's "superman" aura. *1/2

THE UNDERTAKER vs. BROCK LESNAR: Well...it's too bad the dead man didn't lose during that five year string of good WM matches. Why? His loss would have been attached to a good match instead of this so-so affair. He's old, figured it out in training so decided to lose. After a few near-falls, Lesnar delivered an F-5 and won. The fans were shocked and silent. It was the hot topic everyone is still talking about (when I say everyone...I mean wrestling fans and...well, Jon Stewart mentioned it on The Daily Show). I think it was good that he lost for a lot of reasons. The last few years these streak matches have gotten tired. Both guys kick out of a million finishers then The Undertaker wins. Also, The Undertaker is too old to be doing this. Nice to pass the torch to the next generation. Not a good match but a great moment that will live on. *1/2

VICKIE GUERRERO DIVA'S INVITATIONAL (AJ LEE): Yeah. I didn't watch this.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. BATISTA vs. RANDY ORTON: The best WM main event in years. Lots of action. A sick spot. A good win for Bryan. A good way to end a so-so show. The two Bryan matches were really the only two good ones on this show. Batista picked up Bryan while standing on the announce table, Batista bombed him and Orton RKO'd him in mid-air through the Spanish announce table. The medics put Bryan on a stretcher but he got off. Orton's back was bleeding because he landed on a TV monitor. Sadistic spot. Bryan made Batista tap out. And then confetti and celebration. ***

TNA LOCKDOWN

Sunday, March 9th, 2014
Miami

GREAT MUTA & SEIYA SANADA & YASU vs.. CHRIS SABIN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN: So because American audiences are dumb, Yasufumi Nakanoueno was only referred to as "Yasu." Those two (Sanada is the X-Division champ...he beat Aries for it last week in Japan) are in the Wrestle-1 promotion that Muta started in Japan. This was a fairly good match. Muta can barely walk but I've already seen him wrestle twice this year (last time was at the Tokyo Dome New Year's show). Good action. Sanada and Yasu are both awesome, high-fliers. **1/2

SAMUEL SHAW vs. MR. ANDERSON: There were 1,500 people at this show. If you wonder why no one goes to TNA shows then look at this match. It's amidst a stalker storyline. Shaw is stalking announcer Christy Hemme. He pulled her into the cage and was going to, what? Rape her? But Anderson stopped it. Lame match. One of the weirdest ones I've seen. 1/2*

EC3 & BOBBY LASHLEY: The big surprise was Lashley. Haven't seen him since his old WWE days. Remember he main evented a Great American Bash verse Cena for the title? I like him. This wasn't a match. He just came out and slammed Ethan Carter III.

MANIK vs. TIGRE UNO: Good match. Nice high-energy, luchadore stuff. Uno is great, Manik looked good. A bit sloppy but it reminded me of the old, good days of the X-Division. **1/2

JAMES STORM vs. GUNNER "LAST MAN STANDING MATCH": Good match. The crowd chanted, "This is awesome!" Granted, they also chanted that during the main event and the main event was far from awesome (perhaps they saw the ghost of Mike Awesome?). This was brutal. They used the ring steps and a chair and the final had Gunner super-plexing Storm off the top rope through two chairs. Nice. **1/2

MADISON RAYNE vs. GAIL KIM: Not particularly memorable. *

MAGNUS vs. SOMOA JOE: Bad match. Abyss came out through the ring, pulled Joe under, then both got back out and Abyss hit Joe in the gut with his stick of nails. Magnus as champ is just a bore. 1/2*

MVP & WOLVES & WILLOW vs. BRO MANS & BOBBY ROODE & AUSTIN ARIES "LETHAL LOCKDOWN": An awful main event. Bully Ray, the "evil" ref, turned face leading to MVP and his team winning and gaining control of the company. Willow, aka Jeff Hardy in a mask, lept off the top of the cage, which was realistically the only moment of entertainment. Mostly it was a sea of bodies lumbering around with trashcans. *1/2

WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER

Sunday, February 23rd, 2014
Minneapolis

BIG E. LANGSTON vs. JACK SWAGGER: The crowd was really into this towards the end. Kind of still surprised that Swagger held the title once. It was okay stuff. **

THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE USSO'S: Really? It's not 1997 still, is it? I didn't watch this.

TITUS O'NEILL vs. DARREN YOUNG: On a ppv? Really? I didn't watch this.

THE WYATT FAMILY vs. THE SHIELD: Good match, strange match. Six heels. Huh? Well Roman Reigns is leaning face and will apparently be the next big star...so they have him be pinned. Nice. Early it was okay but got exciting late. They put Seth Rollins through the Spanish announce table. **1/2

CAMERON vs. AJ LEE: Didn't watch. Kind of a shame that the women's division is a joke.

BATISTA vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: I laughed when Batista was booed out of the building the entire match. Del Rio was cheered. Michael Cole said it was because of NAFTA. Del Rio came out with a crutch and neck brace then beat Batista with the cruch then ended up losing pretty fast. It's hilarious that Batista is being booed. *

RANDY ORTON vs. SHEAMUS vs. JOHN CENA vs. DANIEL BRYAN vs. CHRISTIAN vs. CESARO ELIMINATION CHAMBER: Good match, albeit not one of the better EC matches. No one was pinned until Christian lept off the top of a pod and onto Sheamus and pinned him at 26 minutes in. The Wyatts came out and beat up Cena for no reason leading to Orton pinning Cena. Early on it was a little dull. Bryan and Orton were the last two left and Bryan did kick out of one RKO but Kane interfered and Orton won and what the fuck? How many times will Bryan be screwed out of the title? No wonder CM Punk quit this company. ***

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE

Sunday, January 26th, 2014
Pittsburgh

DANIEL BRYAN vs. BRAY WYATT: Good match. The match of the night. Towards the end it got brutal and wild and the crowd was energetic. Bryan lept off the apron and gave Wyatt a tornado ddt on the floor. Sick. Then later Bryan lept through the ropes, was caught by Wyatt, and he delivered his finisher by planting Bryan's head into the ringside barrier (sick because Bryan had a concussion a week ago...pretty dumb to have let this move take place). Wyatt won clean which the crowd thought meant Bryan was going to win the Rumble later on...**1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. THE BIG SHOW: Before the match started Lesnar hit Show then beat him with a chair. Finally the ref rang the bell and Show punched Lesnar. Then Lesnar F5'd him and won. Then Lesnar hit Show with a chair like fifty times. This was to prove Lesnar is a beast...but I'd rather have seen a real match. **

JOHN CENA vs. RANDY ORTON: The crowd chanted, "This is awful!" and also "Randy Savage" and other randomness during this okay match. Both guys gave the other the other person's finisher. It was okay, nothing special. The Wyatt family showed up to distract Cena and Orton won. **

THE ROYAL RUMBLE (BATISTA): The story of the show was the crowd. When #30 was announced and it wasn't Daniel Bryan but was Mysterio, the crowd booed until the end. They booed Mysterio, booed Batista winning, cheered Roman Reigns who was left with Batista at the end. We all wanted Bryan. Why the WWE hates Bryan is beyond me. On RAW the next night they acknowledged this by having Bryan come out to open the show and confront Stephanie and Hunter. Hunter, in a baby voice, said, "Awww...you didn't get what you wanted?" to the crowd. Way to sell the WWE network by fucking the fans. I'm sure people will want to pay for it now that you hate us. As for the Rumble...it had spots of entertainment. Torrito, the midget, came in and eliminated Fandango. Diesel, Sheamus, and JBL were surprise entrants. Kofi was thrown out but caught by some new NXT star who slammed him onto the ringside barrier. Kofi had never touched the floor so he stood up and ran and lept onto the ring apron. Cool. But a mediocre Rumble, mediocre show, awful booking. Batista vs. Orton as the 'Mania main event? Good luck with that. **

Best Wrestler of 2013: CM PUNK

CM Punk had the best match at Wrestlemania (against The Undertaker) and Summerslam (against Lesnar), was in the best match of the year, had one of the best matches on RAW all year (against Cena for the title in February) was terrific and awesome during his war of words in feuds against Lesnar, The Rock, and Paul Heyman. It's not easy to be great in the ring or great on the mic but Punk is both. He will go down as one of WWE's great stars. It was a good year for the little tattooed kid from Ring of Honor.

Best PPV of 2013: WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

Two three-star ladder matches, a three-star Alberto Del Rio match (still can't believe it), RVD jumping off the top of a big dog ladder, Paul Heyman turning on Punk...this show was a good one. Sure, it had filler, but the three good matches were highly entertaining and super fun. This is always a good show and with the Smackdown title now gone this is an end of an era. A nice way to go out.

Best Match of 2013: CM PUNK vs. BROCK LESNAR WWE SUMMERSLAM

Nearly a masterpiece, this epic showdown between the beast and the little punk kid provided the most action, entertainment, and emotion of any match I saw last year. The reason was simple; they went back and forth in brutal fashion and the near-falls had me on the edge of my seat. A great match between two legends.