WWE NO WAY OUT

Sunday, June 17th, 2012 from East Rutherford, NJ

SHEAMUS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Good opener. Randy Orton was suspended for using steroids and then Alberto Del Rio got a concussion so this left Dolph Ziggler to take the spot against Sheamus. Perhaps the best match of the show (and if you couldn't tell by that, the show was awful). **1/2 (out of ****)

SANTINO MARELLA vs. RICARDO RODRIGUEZ "TUXEDO MATCH": Yeah...a match where you have to rip off the other person's tuxedo. A leftover from the Russo era? 1/2*

CHRISTIAN vs. CODY RHODES: Kind of stale, although name a good match Cody has ever been in. Yeah. *1/2

PRIMO & EPICO vs. TYSON KIDD & JUSTIN GABRIEL vs. TITUS O'NEAL & DARREN YOUNG (THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS) VS. USOS: Who are these people? There was one good spot where one dude jumped off the top rope down onto seven people. But look at this card...most of it is worse than a RAW card. *1/2

LAYLA vs. BETH PHOENIX: Ugh. Women wrestling. 1/2*

HUNICO vs. SIN CARA: Really? On a ppv? 1/2*

C.M. PUNK vs. DANIEL BRYAN vs. KANE: Good, not great. Thank Kane. **1/2

RYBACK vs. ROB GRYMES & DAN DELANY: Goldberg! 1/2*

JOHN CENA vs. BIG SHOW "CAGE MATCH": So The Big Show beats the shit out of Cena. Then Brodus Clay shows up with a steel chair and won't let Show out. Then Kofi climbs the cage to prevent Show from escaping and then Ryder does the same. All of this interference helps Cena give Show the Attitude Adjustment and climb out to win. Thus Vince McMahon fires John Laurinaitis and then Cena tosses him threw the Spanish announce table. A good clusterfuck of an ending. **1/2



        

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY

Sunday, June 10th, 2012 from Arlington, Texas

AUSTIN ARIES vs. SOMOA JOE: A terrific match, albeit a little short. Fuck...Somoa Joe has been losing for decades, right? Remember when he was the TNA champ? ***

HERNANDEZ vs. KID KASH: Eh. Hernandez did a great over the top-rope leap down onto the floor and Kash, although Hernandez did look like he landed on his shoulder. I see a wheelchair in your future, big man. **

DEVON & GARETT BISCHOFF vs. ROBBIE E & ROBBIE T: Not good. 1/2*

MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY vs. RVD: Good. And I guess it's a surprise that Mr. Kennedy won, although not surprising that he lost in the title match on Impact to Bobby Roode (the winner of this got a title shot). **1/2

JAMES STORM vs. CRIMSON: So Crimon's Goldberg-like winning streak ends. So what was the point of this winning streak? At least Goldberg won the title and the winning streak went somewhere. Crimson's winning streak was a year of beating B-stars. *

MISS TESSMACHER vs. GAIL KIM: So what does Tessmacher mean, anyway? Is it some sex joke like Ms. Hancock was? The women's division in TNA hasn't been the same since Awesome Kong left. *

JOSEPH PARK vs. BULLY RAY: Really? REALLY? What is this storyline, anyway? Park is supposed to be Abyss' brother but we all know he's Abyss without a mask. So Park rolls under the ring mid-match and Abyss comes out and choke slams Bully Ray then goes back under the ring and Park comes out. I know everyone on wrestling internet sites hates hardcore wrestling but that Abyss/Bully match earlier in the year with barbed wire was fucking awesome. **

A.J. STYLES & KURT ANGLE vs. KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS: The best TNA match in a LONG time. The final few minutes were a crazy flurry of activity and it was wild and entertaining and fun. Great match. ***1/2

STING vs. BOBBY ROODE: Please, Sting: stop wrestling. Also, Bobby Roode stop wrestling. 1/2*