Friday, December 31, 1999

< 1999 YEAR END AWARDS >

    The year in wrestling has come to a close. WCW started with Kevin Nash laying down for ‘Hollywood’ Hogan and the Wolfpac and Black & White combining forces for a brand new N.W.O. WCW ended ’99 with a new silver and black N.W.O. with new members Jeff Jarrett and Bret Hart. WWF kicked off 1999 with Mankind as champ and ended with The Big Show as champ. Vince McMahon eventually became good again and Stephanie turned bad. ECW kicked off ’99 with The Franchise as champ and ended with Mike Awesome reigning supreme. We saw Taz and The Dudley Boyz leave to go to Stamford, Connecticut.
    It was a momentous year for wrestling, albeit a harrowful one with the deaths of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, and Gorilla Monsoon. But there were triumphs. RAW set a ratings record with an 8.1 one night. Stone Cold regained the title in Philly at Wrestlemania. The WWF’s writers stormed away and hopped aboard the newly revamped WCW. Nitro is back to 2 hours this week and Thunder moves to Wednesdays shortly. Things are changing. ECW premiered nationally on TNN and New Jack was found not-guilty in a wrasslin’ related case against an overweight bleeder.
    It was a great year for wrestling, and here are my picks for the best of the year. From hardcore king to best champ to best ppv to best federation. Enjoy:

Best Pay Per View: ECW’s HARDCORE HEAVEN (May)
    ECW always puts out the best pay per vews, and arguably HH takes the cake as the best. The main event consisted of a two disgusting bloody heaps beating the shit out of eachother in a match that went in and out of the building. Taz and Buh Buh Ray Dudley didn’t pull out any spectacular moves, but the pouring blood made this one of the most memorable matches. Don’t expect Taz to bleed that much in the WWF. The other memorable matches include the pinnacle of the Jerry Lynn/ Rob Van Damme feud, which included the horrible bump Lynn took when his face hit the hard concrete after spiraling over the top rope. This pay per view also showcased a hardcore bout between Dreamer and Lance Storm, and don’t forget Sabu leg dropping Sid through a table after Sid powerbombed this shit out of the Impact Players. As a whole, this pay per view rocked.

Worst Pay Per View: WCW’s STARRCADE (December)
Talk about a disaster. This is supposed to be the biggest pay per view of the year for World Championship Wrestling. It’s WCW’s Wrestlemania. This year Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara booked the show and proved that they are idiots. Russo was quoted as saying that his booking style is showcased the best at Starrcade. The horrible matches included Evan Kourageous taking on Medusa, Sting boring us against Luger, Dustin Rhodes putting us to sleep against Jarrett in a ‘Bunkhouse Brawl’, Booker T and Midnight against Creative Control and Henig, David Flair verse DDP, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Varsity Club verse the Revolution. The main event was Bret Hart pitted against Goldberg, which would have been awesome…but they cut the match off at around six minutes to screw Goldberg out of the title in an ode to the Surivor Series ’97 screwjob. The only thing WCW did was screw the fans out of their thirty bones.

Best Announcer: ECW’s JOEY STYLES
    As Bill Alfonoso so dramatically displays when he enters the ring, Joey Styles calls it, “Right down the middle.” He’s unbiased, and he is just plain awesome. His catchphrase, “Oh my God!” defines ECW so damn well. He hosts the ECW Hardcore TV show himself, and proves that no announcer can outwit him or outsell a match more than he can. He puts excitement into matches that would be snoozers in WCW or WWF. He is the epitome of a great announcer.

Best Hardcore Wrestler: WWF’s MANKIND
    This year Mankind didn’t fall off a cage twice or have his ear ripped off, but all in all he took the most chances and most bumps in his supposed last full wrestling year. While ECW’s Balls Mahoney did take numerous bumps through flaming thumbtack strewn tables, Mankind took hard hits in almost every match he was in this year, while Mahoney was known for that and that alone. Mankind was hit over the head with a steel chair fourteen times at January’s Royal Rumble I-Quit Match with The Rock. He fell roughly seven feet off a ladder onto a power supply box that sparked and shut the lights down. In February The Rock beat his candy ass all over the arena in the Last Man Standing Match. The roughest bump was when his head hit the side of the announce table and snapped back. In March he was chokeslammed from a ladder onto two tables and glass in a Boiler Room Brawl with Big Show. And in September he was thrown from the Smackdown set about twenty feet to the hard earth of the Buried Alive set. He held the WWF Championship three times this year, but it was soley through his hardcore addiction that he became the fan favorite. In his last full year of wrasslin’, he proved that Mick Foley is, and always will be…hardcore.

Best Champion: ECW’s ROB VAN DAM
    He beat Bam Bam Bigelow for the ECW TV belt in the Spring of 1998. He has gone into 2000 with it still firmly around his waist. There is a problem though in the future. He faces Sabu at ECW’s Guilty as Charged on January 9th. He is the best champion of the year, and not because he hasn’t lost the belt. He is a great wrestler…period. The only reason he isn’t the wrestler of the year as a lot of internet fools believe is because his personality lacks. His storylines aren’t epic and he hasn’t gotten the mainstream push he deserves. His hi-light matches have been with Jerry ‘The New Fucking Show’ Lynn and this Fall he took on Sabu at the ECW arena which ended in a time limit draw. Forget Goldberg. Van Dam is da man.

Best Heel: ECW/WWF’s BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY
    So far in the WWF, the white half of the Dudley Boyz has mostly floundered. Why? He hasn’t gotten enough interview time. Dudley’s cruelness reached it’s zenith in July at ECW’s Heatwave pay per view, where he cursed out the entire crowd, threw a beer at a fan, and taunted the fan to punch him. He then saw a mom and daughter ringside. He made a few lewd remarks about the daughter with her mom standing there helpless. In the match the two went on to put Spike Dudley through a flaming table and Balls Mahoney practically on his head. The Dudley Boyz are a great team, but this year Buh Buh proved without a shadow of a doubt he is the biggest asshole this sport has seen this year. Hopefully in the new millennium the WWF will let Buh Buh truly shine as a bad guy instead of as a backwoods joke like they did in December at the poker game between the Dudleys and The Acolytes. Buh Buh Ray was cheating. He put down his hand and said, “Six aces.”

Funniest Wrestler: WCW’s THE CAT
    In the Fall of 1998 The Cat premiered and took the world by storm. Okay, he didn’t exactly make waves, but he took his act into 1999 full throttle and became the funniest wreslter of the year. Yes, Vince McMahon is hilarious, and Steve Corino and Chris Jericho are amusing, but no wrestler this year has consistently been as funny as The Cat. His dancing red shoes. His new James Brown music. His dancing. His cheating. Just the way he would come into the ring and make fun of the people at ringside. He would tell people, “I’m the greatest, nobody can whup me, call my momma!” He told fat women they couldn’t even get over the rail. Lately Russo and Ferrara haven’t been using The Cat, but hopefully in 2000 they’ll bring him and his antics back in style.

Best Group: WWF’s THE MEAN STREET POSSE
    Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs make up the funniest and most entertaining group in wrestling these days. Think about it. DX and the N.W.O. are so old and lame. The Corporate Ministry and Corporation were pretty decent, but no other group lasted all year and still brings laughs and a smile to everyone watching. As soon as laid back entrance music hits I know I will be entertained. Their pinnacle hit in August at the WWF’s Summerslam during the Test/Shane O’Mac match. The posse brought a couch, light, and posse portrait to ringside to watch the match. Hilarious. Entertaining. The best group by far.

Best Storyline: WWF- STEPHANIE McMAHON’S WEDDING
    Most wrestling fans agree that the best storyline this year was the epic one that led up to Stephanie marrying Triple H and then turning on her father. It was a simple storyline, but it lasted from the Summer until Decmeber, which is epic in scope. Usually wrestling is so fast these days the storylines fly by, but not this. Vince waited and it turned out to be awesome. We got the Test/Shane match at Summerslam, we got the England ppv where Stephanie was injured and had ‘head tramau’ (blunty put: amnesia), we got the Raw is War marriage which turned into a hilarious farce where Triple H had already married Steph the night before in Vegas, and finally we got the Vince/HHH match which ended with Stephanie turning on her father and turning heel. Wow.

Best Feud: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN/ VINCE McMAHON
    This feud will probably go down as the best feud in wrestling…period. A lot of entertainment came out of this feud in 1998, but we only saw them in a ring once in 1998 (it was in Philly and Austin had to tie one hand behind his back), but we saw them three times in a ring in 1999. The feud reached a boiling point when Vince McMahon was the first participant in the Royal Rumble. Eventually Austin became number two. After Vince won the Rumble, the two ended up fighting a memorable match in a steel cage on St. Valentine’s Day. Of course Austin won the belt at ‘Mania and Vince got Stone Cold-stunned. They had a ladder match in June at the King of the Ring when Austin was the WWF’s CEO. Things went back and forth, and eventually Vince left his heel persona after the first blood matchup in July. When it was full steam ahead, the feud put the WWF ahead in the ratings and kept them there. Their feud sold the Royal Rumble, King of the Ring, St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and Fully Loaded pay per views. To cap it all off…who can forget the beer truck fiasco?

Best Tag Team: WWF’s THE HARDY BOYZ
    The Hardy Boyz were the best tag team this year. Why? Because this year to be a good ‘wrestler’ you had to have good storylines and have good mic skills. The Hardy Boyz proved that they don’t need shit. They are fantastic wrestlers, and that’s the bottom line. This year we saw them hold the tag titles on one occasion, and we saw a terrific tournament with Edge & Christian which ended in the best match of the year at No Mercy. The Hardy Boyz had lousy storylines and didn’t say a single word on TV yet they proved everything with their high flying maneuvers and pure entertainment style. I predict them to take this award next year also.

Best Rookie: WWF’s SHANE McMAHON
    Realistically there were only two rookies, Shane O’Mac and ECW’s Rhino, but Shane takes the award with flying colors. He proved his entertainment worth with three pay per view matches that standout this year. He took on X-Pac at Wrestlemania in a brutal and highly entertaining bout. He faced Austin with his dad in a hilarious and truly great ladder match at the King of the Ring. He jumped off a cage and tackled members of the Mean Street Posse which he used to be friends with on Raw is War in the fall, but his shining moment was his match against Test at Summerslam. Not only were the Mean Street Posse’s antics in full force, but Shane proved that it was worth paying money for the ppv with one single move. He put Test on the Spanish announce table and climbed the top rope. With a high flying elbow off the top rope he crashed onto Test and through the table. It was the best moment of the pay per view, and it proved that Shane wanted to entertain, that he wanted to prove his worth. A great start for what surely will be a long haul.

Best TV Show: WWF’s RAW IS WAR
    Nitro floundered at three hours, and Smackdown wore out it’s welcome and became stale since it’s never live. ECW is uneven because TNN censors a good majority of the bloodshed, and ECW’s Hardcore TV is now full of B-matches. But there was one show that was always consistent, especially this year when the WWF pulled out no stops and left the WCW in the dust. Raw is War is the WWF’s best program. The show is better than any pay per view they put on. All of the good stuff that happens in the WWF occurs on Raw. The infamous beer truck fiasco, the tribute to Owen Hart, the Rock/Mankind ladder match for the gold, the Greater Power mystery, Stephanie’s botched wedding, Mankind’s firing. All of the big stuff happened there, on Raw is War. It was the show to beat in ’99.

Best Announce Team: ECW’s JOEY STYLES & CYRUS THE VIRUS
    The only team to even come close is Monday Nitro’s team consisting of Tony Schiavone, Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan, and Mike Tenay. The problem was they cut Tenay out of the picture for the majority of the year, so the team fell apart. ECW’s Joey Styles is the best announcer of the year, but the only thing to elevate his commentary is the sidekick antics of Cyrus the Virus. He commentates along Styles on the ECW pay per views, and only makes Styles sound better. Their banter and humorous stories and antecdotes are downright entertaining. Cyrus’ commentary on ‘The Office’ at ECW’s November to Remember elevated the average program to a good one. Announcing can’t get better.

Best Moment: WWF- ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN & THE BEER TRUCK
    They seem to still talk about it. The Monday night before Wrestlemania, the Corporation (Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, the Stooges, and The Rock) assembled in the ring and began to mock Austin and hammer the point that he has no chance in hell of winning the title at the ppv. Austin answered this criticism by driving a Coors Light beer truck into the arena and up to the ring. He pulled out a hose and sprayed the Corporation with beer (and even attempted to drink from the hose full of beer himself) and they slipped and fell all over the ring. The crowd went crazy. Austin then stood on top of the truck and downed a few cold cans. It was the shining moment of Raw. No one saw it coming. It was funny, it was great, and it was the best moment of ’99.

Best Matches: #1 WWF- EDGE & CHRISTIAN VS. THE HARDY BOYZ 
                       “LADDER MATCH”  NO MERCY
    There were a lot of good matches this year, but for my money, the ones that truly stood out where the ones full of hardcore shenanigans. Mankind getting hit over the head fourteen times with a chair is a lot more entertaining that Bret Hart putting Van Hammer in a sharpshooter. At least in my book. The standout matches were Bam Bam verse Hak at Spring Stampede, Mankind vs. The Rock at the Royal Rumble, Test vs. Shane at Summer Slam, and Tanka losing to Mike Awesome at November 2 Remember. But for my money, and most people’s, the best of the year took place at WWF’s October pay per view, No Mercy. It was a horribly boring pay per view, but this match was a true four star affair. Both teams are known for their high flying maneuvers, but the Hardy Boyz truly proved that they are the best talent working today. This was a Mexican Ladder match, meaning there were two ladders in the ring. These four combatants did so many crazy moves off the ladders and off the ropes onto the ladders it was nuts. There were at least fifteen instant replays, which is uncanny. Usually a basic wrestling match has two or three. It is impossible to even put into words how great this match was. It had to be seen to be believed. Epic and awesome.

#2  ECW-  Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka      November to Remember

#3  WCW- Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow   Spring Stampede

#4  WWF- Shane McMahon vs. Test                     Summer Slam

#5  WWF- Mankind vs. The Rock  “I Quit”           Royal Rumble

#6   ECW-  Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn              Hardcore Heaven

#7   ECW-  Sabu vs. Tazz                                     Living Dangerously

#8   ECW-  Vince & Shane McMahon vs.
     ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin  “Ladder”     King of the Ring

#9   ECW-  Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu             ECW Arena (Oct ’99)

#10 WWF-  Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac         Wrestlemania XV   


Best Company: THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
    1998 and 1999 were the two best years ever for the WWF. They took over the ratings with their explicit but highly exciting Crash-TV programs. They infused hilarious backstage antics, massively hyped main events, and crowd loving interviews from the superstars to prove that the best in the business is under Vincent K. McMahon. The WWF got into the stock market, they brought out Smackdown which single handedly saved the UPN, and they received a record 8.1 rating for Raw is War. They beat WCW every single Monday Night this year, and the proved that losing two top writers DOES…NOT…MATTER. Even though Survivor Series blew and once the writers left the product grew stale for about a month, they regained their lead and capped off on a high note. Even with ‘Stone Cold’ hurt they beat the competition. This year the WWF reigned supreme. It was a momentous year. I truly doubt they will ever be this high again.
   
Best Wrestler: WCW/ECW’s HARDCORE HAK/ THE SANDMAN
    When 1999 started out I didn’t even know who the fucking Sandman was. He showed up in WCW as Hardcore Hak and soon enough I thought he was awesome. He would come out draped in barb wire and call anyone out at any time. He made watching WCW interesting. From March to July he was the best wrestler and entertainer WCW had to offer. His matches at Spring Stampede and Uncensored were classics. He got hurt and was abruptly fired. He showed up one night at the ECW Arena with his classic Metallica tune ‘Enter Sandman’ blaring in the background. The crowd was estatic. It was one of the best moments of the year. As The Sandman, he showed up and took over. His entrance lasts around five minutes as his music blares and he chugs a few cold ones and smokes a cigarette. He became the one to watch in WCW to the one to watch in ECW. He was the most entertaining wrestler of the year. Any match he was in was entertaining and hugely watchable. Whenever you hear his music you smile and sit down and know you will have fun watching. He is by far the best wrestler of the year.

WWF- 11 awards
ECW-    6 awards
WCW-   1 award (take one away for winning worst ppv)   


1999 FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP REIGNS:

ECW: The Franchise- Taz- Mike Awesome- Masato Tanaka- Mike Awesome

WWF: Mankind- The Rock- Mankind- The Rock- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- The Undertaker- ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin- Mankind- Triple H- Vince McMahon- Triple H- The Big Show

WCW: Kevin Nash- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Ric Flair- DDP- Sting- DDP- Kevin Nash- Macho Man- ‘Hollywood’ Hogan- Sting- Goldberg- Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart

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Saturday, December 25, 1999

< YEAR END AWARD NOMINATIONS ‘99 >



Yes, it’s that time again. Okay that was a joke. This is a first. My Year End Wrestling Awards. Who was the best wrestler of the year? The best hardcore wrestler of the year? What was the best match? The best federation? The best piece of ass? Here are the nominees. The winners will be announced in the early days of the year 2000.

Best Wrestler:                              Best Company:
-Shane McMahon                       -WWF
-The Rock                                  -ECW
-Hardcore Hak/ The Sandman    -WCW
-Mankind                                   -XPW
-Rob Van Dam                           -CZW

Best Match
-Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz  ‘Ladder Match’ from WWF’s No Mercy
-The Rock vs. Mankind  ‘I Quit Match’ from WWF’s Royal Rumble
-Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow from WCW’s Spring Stampede
-Shane McMahon vs. Test from WWF’s Summer Slam
-Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka from ECW’s November to Remember

Best Tag Team                       Best Champion
-The Dudley Boyz                  -Rob Van Dam
-The Hardy Boyz                   -Taz
-The Holly’s                           -‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin
-The Outsiders                       -Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart
-Raven & Tommy Dreamer    -‘Hollywood’ Hogan

Best Feud                                      Best Pay Per View
-Chris Jericho & Ken Shamrock    -ECW Living Dangerously
-Rob Van Dam & Jerry Lynn         -WWF St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
-Mankind & The Rock                  -WWF Wrestlemania XV
-‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin &        -ECW Anarchy Rulz
   Vince McMahon                        -ECW Hardcore Heaven
-Triple H & Vince McMahon

Best Storyline                              Best TV Show
-WWF Greater Power                -ECW on TNN
-WCW Powers to Be                 -WWF Raw is War
-WWF Stephanie’s Wedding       -WCW Monday Nitro
-WCW Ric Flair as President       -WWF Smackdown!
- WWF Big Show’s Father           -ECW Hardcore TV

Worst Pay Per View                  Best Group
-WCW Starrcade                    -The Corporation       
-WCW Fall Brawl                    -The N.W.O.
-WWF Fully Loaded                -DX
-WCW Great American Bash  -The Corporate Ministry
-WWF Unforgiven                  -The Mean Street Posse

Funniest Wrestler            Best Heel
-Vince McMahon            -Buh Buh Ray Dudley
-‘Hardcore’ Holly            -Triple H
-Steve Corino                  -Vince McMahon
-Chris Jericho                  -Rhino
-The Cat                          -Steve Corino

Best Announcer                   Best Hardcore Wrestler
-Joey Styles                           -Mankind
-Jim Ross                               -L’il Spike Dudley
-Cyrus the Virus                     -Sabu
-Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan    -New Jack
-Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler        -Balls Mahoney

Best Announce Team
-Cyrus & Joey Styles>ECW Pay Per Views
-Jim Ross & Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler> WWF Raw is War
-Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, & Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan>WCW Monday Nitro
-Joey Styles & Joel Gertner>ECW on TNN
-Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler & Michael Cole>WWF Smackdown!

Best Moment
-Balls Mahoney going through a thumbtack strewn flaming table
-‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin crashing the Corporation’s party with a beer truck
-The Sandman returning to ECW at Philadelphia’s ECW Arena
-The Big Bossman ruining The Big Show’s father’s funeral
-the L.W.O. dance party

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Sunday, December 19, 1999

WCW’s STARRCADE

Sunday, December 19th from Washington D.C.

    Apparently this is the WCW’s biggest event of the year. It’s supposed to be their Wrestlemania, their November to Remember, their…you get the fucking point. I am sad to say that WCW’s worst pay per view of the year was Starrcade. It lacked focus, it lacked excitement, it lacked good matches, good endings, good heel/babyface turns, good surprises, good wrestling, good fun. It lacked EVERYTHING. There was no stand out matches, everything was marginal.
Which brings back the simple point: When will Russo and Ferrara be fired?

+JOHNNY DA BULL & BIG VITO vs. DISCO INFERNO & LASH LE-WHO?: Arguably the best match of the night. Why? Well the two ‘gangsters’ were in ECW only a month ago. They were in the group known as The Baldies. They didn’t make much of an impression, but this was their first real big match and they proved they know how to wrestle. One of the two gangsters gave the move of the night with a really high spin DDT move that was fucking awesome. Sadly, their ECW moves and persona will diminish and their excitement factor will die. At least we saw the spinning DDT once. **1/2

+MADUSA vs. EVAN KOURAGEOUS: I was so pig headed that when Russo/Ferrara started booking WCW I figured it would steal the ratings back easily. The first few weeks were solid, watchable, and it was exciting to see WCW in a great new direction. Unfortunately, their magic charm has diminished and WCW sucks. Yes, it is funny, but it needs what the WWF has; attitude. It could also use some excitement and seriousness, and some damn heels!!! This match was actually promoted on the radio. They mentioned Goldberg versus Bret Hart and then mentioned this match. What??? WCW is dead in the water as far as I’m concerned. No matter how much I hate to say this…WCW was better before the two New York writers showed up. ½*

NORMAN SMILEY vs. MENG: My brother says he would give this four stars. Come on. Yes, it had one of the funniest moments in a while when Norman jumped through a curtain and over a table just because. The hardcore belt is tarnished though and the joke is over. Hardcore doesn’t mean using  just trashcans. What about tables? Barb wire? Fire? Tacks? Gimmie blood and by the gallons. Sure this match was funny, but do we want to see this shit at Souled Out, too? No. **1/2

THE REVOLUTION vs. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & THE VARSITY CLUB: Duggan was coming out with 3 mystery partners. I figured it might be Hogan and Flair. It turned out to be the Kevin Sullivan, Dogg, and I.R.S. (or M. Wallstreet as he was known for awhile). This match was lame. WCW truly sucks. God I’m livid. *

BOOKER T. & MIDNIGHT vs. CREATIVE CONTROL & CURT HENIG: Is it me, or does Midnight suck? As of Thunder Creative Control is now the Harris twins or something and PTB (powers to be…Vince Russo) is running solo now. What a dumb match. Imagine having the entire booking reigns handed over. You can book pay per views, Thunder, and Nitro. You need storylines and character development and everything. Sorry to say it, but I think 99.9% of the wrestling fans out there can do better than what Russo/Ferrara have been doing. ½*

DUSTIN RHODES vs. JJ: No, not JJ F’ng Dillon, Jeff Jarrett. This was a Bunkhouse Brawl, or, in laments terms, a hardcore match. This match was hardcore allright. It hurt to watch. ½*

+DDP vs. CRAZY DAVID FLAIR: I’m sure Ric Flair is a little mad at watching the PTB turn Little Natch into a crazy mofo with a plotline going nowhere fast. At least he does a good job with his character, which is more than he ever did beforehand. This was a crowbar on a pole match. Should I have even mentioned that? Nah. *1/2

STING vs. LEX LUGER: No matter that Lex Luger is now The Total Package instead of Lex Luger, the fucking announcers even call him Lex Luger every once in awhile. This match would have been monumental on any other ppv. Did I mention they reformed the N.W.O. on Nitro? Oh, maybe you can now figure out why I hate WCW. Yes, I loved the N.W.O., but that was two years ago. I was glad to finally see it go, not when it is finally in the ground they bring it back. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, this match blew harder than DG at the Christmas Party. Nuff said. *

+SID vs. KEVIN NASH: Why did they turn Sid good? Probably the best match in the Russo/Ferrara era was the Sid/Goldberg match at Halloween Havoc when Sid bled like a stuck pig and the ref called the match. Now he’s good and he sucks. And Nash is supposed to be ‘bad’? WCW has no good bad guys anymore. The N.W.O. is going to get a lot of pops no matter how much they make fun of the city they’re in…which only JJ probably will do. Bret Hart is great as a heel, though, so I guess that’s a plus. *1/2

CHRIS ‘SILENT BUT VIOLENT’ BENOIT vs. JJ: Yes, JJ F’ng Dillon wrestled Benoit. No, I’m fuckin’ wit ya. Jeff Jarrett pulled out no stops in this Ladder Match because Scott Hall is injured. On the ‘net they said Ric Flair was offered to fight Benoit in this match but he declined. This was supposedly the only watchable match on the ppv (said the PWTorch), but I’ve never seen a good Ladder Match in WCW and I doubt I’ll start now. **1/2

BRET HART vs. BILL GOLDBERG: They recreated Survivor Series ’97 and ref Roddy Piper rang the bell and screwed Goldberg out of the title even though he didn’t tap out. On Nitro they revealed that Russo felt bad for Bret Hart ever since the ’97 incident so he put the screwjob in his favor this time. Whatever….this match sucked and anyone that paid a cool 33 bills probably has his head in an oven somewhere. Nitro sucked even more when the fucking N.W.O. reunited. Is it too hard to make another name for them? Do we really have to see the N.W.O…again? No. The N.W.O. was good in the beginning, but they ran that plot into the ground. The N.W.O. does not equal ratings…especially when you look at whose in it: JJ, Hart, Hall, and Nash. At least Hogan was a great personality. Hopefully Russo will get so drunk for the Millennium he’ll fall down a flight of stairs and have an epiphany: stop writing this shit and make WCW good again. Forget the N.W.O. Create some major heels and quit fucking around with the backstage hijinks. We want to see serious shit, too, blood and tits, sure, but we don’t want 3 hours of bullshit. Russo: congratulations, you’ve officially killed WCW. Rumors on the ‘net say he’ll be fired in April. Well start counting the days big boy. *

I ripped Russo a new a-hole, didn’t I? Sure, but did you watch Starrcade? It not only sucked, it blew, and then Nitro pulled out no stops and reunited the fucking N.W.O. Jesus F. Christ. All the while WCW is in the gutter, WWF is promising the return of Cactus Jack and has the MSG Royal Rumble to pump up. I give Starrcade ½* and it will definitely win the award for Worst PPV of the Year, even though ‘Mad Dog’ Tearson believed Heroes of Wrestling to be the worst. I predicted an awful 5 out of 11, which is a 45%, an F-. Though me and my brother split all picks so there’s method to my madness. The next big two pay per view is Souled Out in January, where Jeff Jarrett and Benoit have a match which supposedly features a CRAZY stipulation. Hope it’s not as crazy as the Dog Kennel From Hell match the WWF put on in September. ‘Mad Dog’ picked that as the worst match of the year. I can’t disagree. Next Monday WCW has a ppv calibur Nitro titled New Year’s Evil from Houston’s AstroDome. Don’t expect much. I’m looking forward to ECW’s January 9th ppv Guilty as Charged. The hi-light matches include Sandman vs. Rhino, Sabu vs. Van Damme, and Raven & Dreamer vs. The Impact Players. Looks to be one of the year’s best ppv’s already. Of course there’s the ‘Rumble, where a rumored Cactus Jack/HHH main event will take place. I can’t wait. Wanted: Dead. Until then…        


Sunday, December 12, 1999

WWF ARMAGEDDON

Sunday, December 12th, 1999 from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

    Okay. Where the fuck was I? I leave you with the predictions for Halloween Havoc and then I disappear until Christmas. I’ll explain, and yes, I know I’d better.
    I realized that when I rated matches I would actually have to watch all the matches, not just the ones I cared about. I was stuck watching Van Hammer take on the Dog just because I had to rate it so I could rate the ppv as a whole. Well I got sick of wading through boring ass pre-lim matches so I quit it. I’m back though, because I had a day off and a late work night and decided to catch the encore of Armageddon and watch the whole thing.
    Now I have a realization why I stopped in the first place. BUT Survivor Series and Mayhem sucked anyway, and ‘Havoc was marginal so you didn’t miss much. 
    Oh, yeah, winners underlined and correct predictions +ed:

THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE HEADBANGERS vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN vs. THE HARDY BOYZ vs. PETE GAS & RODNEY vs. THE ACOLYTES vs. TOO COOL vs. SEXUAL CHOCOLATE & THE GODFATHER: Jesus Christmas, what the hell kind of match was this? Well a Royal Rumble type of matchup. I picked Edge & Christian, but the Acolytes (who always win) took it. I miss the ECW Dudley’s. Barbed wire. Flaming table. Major juicage. Major heat. Oh well. Average matchup. **

+STEVE BLACKMAN vs. KURT ANGLE: I seriously have nothing to say about this match. Really. *

JAQUELINE vs. MS. KITTY vs. IVORY vs. BB: The WWF has really sunken to a new low with the so-called ‘Women’s Division’. They had a mud wrestling match, a gravy match, a swimming pool match, and on Raw last night a pudding match. Jesus H. Christ. This one at the ppv was a swimming pool four way. Oh yeah, Ms. Kitty showed her tits. Talk about an exhibitionist champion. ***

+THE HOLLY’S vs. VISCERA & RAKISHI FATU: On Smackdown, Too Cool and Rakishi were in a dance club and it was pretty damn funny. This match was pretty lame, though, but I love the Holly’s. Those guys are pretty damn funny. I wish Hardcore went back to the hardcore division, though, because quite frankly, Bossman isn’t cutting it. *1/2

+VAL VENIS vs. D’LO vs. BULLDOG: This matchup was for the coveted European Championship. Val Venis said he was going to go to Europe and get some tail if he won. Hopefully on Smackdown we’ll have a funny segment with plane ride and all. I’m not exactly counting on it. This match was okay I s’pose. **

+KANE vs. X-PAC: My boy Kane gave X-Pac a good ass whipping. This was a cage match, and if you hadn’t figured it out yet, I like Kane; The Big Red Machine. I think he deserves a title reign, since he has held the belt but only for 24 hours. Turn him heel, too, because as a good guy he blows. Turn him evil and make him a sick bastard and have him win the belt at February’s ppv. This match was pretty cool. Pac handcuffed Kane to the cage and hit him a few times with a chair. Kane eventually clotheslined Pac after jumping off the top of the cage. He tombstoned the little man and won. I love that red bastard. Hopefully at Wrestlemania he’ll take his mask off…now that’s sports entertainment. ***

+CHRIS ‘Y2J’ JERICHO vs. CHYNA: Jericho, my boy, won his first WWF belt, the Intercontinental Belt, which is more or less Mid-Card belt. Jericho kicked off Raw too so he’s going places. He’s funny as all hell and I like him. WWF is really good right now, as opposed to WCW which just can’t seem to get it together. This match was pretty good with Jericho’s antics and moves. I still can’t get over Ms. Kitty going out with that old bag Lawler. **1/2

NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. ROCK ‘N SOCK CONNECTION: I was thinking at work tonight, instead of HHH vs. Rock at Wrestlemania, make it Rock vs. Mankind. Why? Those two jabronies have had the best matches in the past year. Though both are faces so don’t watch for it to happen soon. This match was okay. Mankind just isn’t watchable unless he falls on barbed wire or goes through a table or bleeds like a stuck pig. The last hardcore match he had was way back in April when he took on Big Show in the boiler room brawl. Hopefully his match against Al Snow at the Royal Rumble will be a no-holds barred war. Hopefully. **

GIANT vs. BOSSMAN: I picked Bossman. You would think with all of this major buildup there would be a payoff. Bossman did shit to Giant for a month and a half and Bossman doesn’t take any major bumps? Put him through a table, hit him with a chair, make him bleed and take him within seconds of his life. This match was such a letdown it wasn’t even funny. Giant as the champ is a laughing joke. He’s losing it to HHH at the Royal Rumble anyway so that’s kind of a good thing, though Hunter as champ is a little bit old. *

+HHH vs. VINCE McMAHON: Well HHH proved it. Evey match Shane or Vince in this year has been a ***1/2 affair. The Vince/Austin cage match, the Shane/X-Pac match, the Shane/Vince/Austin ladder match, and the Shane/Test match were all memorable and best of the year candidates. This match was pretty lame. Why? HHH. He sucks. Austin has charisma, and Shane has the high flying vernacular. Plus, Vince was heel the other times he fought. This was a lame match to cap off an average night with. Yes, it ended good, with Steph turning against Vince and hugging HHH, but that was obvious (thanks to the ‘net). They went outside and shit. It was too long. I’m very dissappointed. Though Raw kicked ass so I’m back on the WWF bandwagon. Right now WWF is better than WCW. Last week it wasn’t. What about next week after Starrcade? We’ll just have to see. **

    66%, a D. I predicted 6 out of 10. Seriously, though, that tag match had 8 teams to pick from, and the female match had 4 to choose, and the European had 3. I ain’t complaining. Armageddon gets **. It was okay. Highlights? Ms. Kitty flashing her tits, the cage match between Kane and X-Pac, Jericho winning the IC belt, and Steph turning heel. Bad parts? The Giant/Bossman match was a MAJOR letdown, and I would love to see Mick Foley take some bumps on the pay per views, shit- people pay 30 large.
    Anyway, next week is WCW’s supposed big show, Starrcade. It has a triple main event. The only match I’m curious about is the Benoit/Hall ladder match, though Scott Hall is a litle old to do anything interesting in the ring. The DDP/David Flair crowbar on a pole match sounds interesting, but Russo & Ferrara so far are having a lot of trouble with WCW. It’s funny and watchable, yes, but it really isn’t any better than it was in September, and WWF is kicking it’s ass with reuniting DX and heel Steph storylines. Oh well. Hopefully at the Rumble in MSG, Mankind will face Al Snow in a hardcore bout with some great bumps, I mean remember Rock and Mick’s I Quit Rumble match last January? A classic. It’ll probably be HHH and Big Show where HHH will win. The Rock is going to Wrestlemania, but whether or not he wins the Rumble is beyond me. I’d like to see Shane O’Mac wrestle, and hopefully the Hardy’s take on someone other than Edge & Christian. I haven’t seen a RR in years, so I’m definitely looking forward to it, plus with MSG taking center stage, there will be magic in the air. Until then.