WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS

Nashville

STARDUST & GOLDUST vs. THE USO'S: The end was pretty fun with a lot of near falls. It was not as good as The Uso's vs. The Wyatt family matches, though. The weirdo's won the titles. ** (out of ****)

SHEAMUS vs. CESARO: The match of the night. Reminded me of a New Japan match. Back and forth, hard hitting, got better towards the end. Really, I'd rather see a WWE ppv with a main event title match like this. Oh, well. ***

THE MIZ vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Not that good, mostly because of the atrocious announcers busy talking with country music band The Georgia Line who was sitting in. Ziggler is wild, crazy, and fun to watch. It's a shame he's in the fucking doghouse. *1/2

SETH ROLLINS vs. DEAN AMBROSE: Roman Reigns is out recovering from hernia surgery...which left Rollins without an opponent. He came out and gave an open challenge so of course Ambrose shows up and beats him up around the arena until security breaks it up.

RUSEV vs. MARK HENRY: Awfully boring. Not sure why they push Rusev so hard. He's so dull. At least put him in with a high flyer to excite us. 1/2*

RANDY ORTON vs. JERICHO: Good flurry finish with some exciting near falls and back and forth action. Started kind of slow, though. **1/2

BRIE BELLA vs. PAIGE vs. AJ: Pretty much an all-over-the-map mess. 1/2*

BROCK LESNAR vs. JOHN CENA: Last month it was a one-sided destruction. This time Cena almost won. It was still mostly a destruction but Cena got more offense in. Towards the end Cena was winning, gave Lesnar his finisher and then Seth Rollins came out and hit Cena with the MITB briefcase. This caused a DQ win for Cena. Rollins tried to cash his contract in but Cena beat him up. It was more entertaining than last month's match. That's not saying much. I guess this, sigh, means another match. **

WWE SUMMERSLAM

From Los Angeles

THE MIZ vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Decent opener. Ziggler wins the IC title. The Miz is just not a good wrestler, so that didn't help. But it was high energy with some good near falls. **1/2 (out of ****)

PAIGE vs. AJ: Better than last month. Paige is gorgeous so that helps. And better as a heel. It was okay. **

RUSEV vs. JACK SWAGGER "FLAG MATCH": Russia won! And they played the Russian national anthem. I kind of thought the flags were supposed to be on a pole? *1/2

DEAN AMBROSE vs. SETH ROLLINS "LUMBERJACK MATCH": The match of the night! Who knew? Lumberjack matches suck. But these two ended up escaping and going into the crowd. Ambrose also dove off the top rope down onto Rollins and the lumberjacks when they were carrying him towards the ring. And Ambrose ran across the announce table and lept over the guardrail to clothesline/tackle Rollins and a few lumberjacks. This was a wild mele. Fun stuff. Rollins hit Ambrose with the MITB and won. ***

CHRIS JERICHO vs. BRAY WYATT: These two just don't mesh. At all. 1/2*

STEPHANIE McMAHON vs. BRIE BELLA: So Brie's sister, Nicky, turned heel and Stephanie won. I guess that's okay. I am, like everyone, sick of this owner/heel story. Enough. It was mediocre. *1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. ROMAN REIGNS: Sadly, Reigns is not the "future." He just isn't that compelling. This was decent late but not all that good. *1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. JOHN CENA: Tonight I realized why everyone loves NJPW. They never do what the WWE always does: a beat-down followed by a miraculous comeback. NJPW usually does back and forth action throughout. This match, however, was a beat-down. Period. Lesnar gave Cena 16 German suplexes. Cena had three very short comebacks but it was a one-sided destruction. Good storyline for the future; Lesnar, the unbeatable champ. But bad for entertainment purposes. This was a fucking bore. 1/2*

WWE BATTLEGROUND

Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Tampa, FL

Crazy that it's July 20th already. Right? Summer flying by. Didn't help that the WWE's annual great ppv, Money in the Bank, was pushed earlier to June. & this, Battleground, is an odd duck. CM Punk quit, Daniel Bryan is hurt, no Brock Lesnar on this B-show...and Battleground is between MITB and Summerslam. So...yeah. The opener and main event were good. The rest was bad. So it goes.

THE USO'S vs. LUKE HARPER & ERIK ROWAN "2 OUT OF 3 FALLS": Great match. The first two falls were so-so but the 3rd fall was epic and awesome. These two teams really click, which is good. ***

SETH ROLLINS vs. DEAN AMBROSE: Never happened. Ambrose beat up Rollins backstage so HHH barred him from the building and canceled the match. This didn't prevent Ambrose from attacking Rollins in the ring later and then in the parking lot later on. Not sure why they didn't have a match. I guess to build up their match at Summerslam.

AJ LEE vs. PAIGE: Man...Paige botched a ton of spots. Probably because Vince McMahon doesn't like her and she knows it and her dreams of being a WWE star are perhaps over. -No Stars-

RUSEV vs. JACK SWAGGER: So Rusev, who's Bulgarian, has a Russian spokeswoman that comes to ring with him and praises Vladimir Putin and puts down the U.S. This is all well and good, but she mentioned something in the news and American propaganda. On Thursday, pro-Russian rebels in the Ukraine shot down a plane that killed 298 people. So of course the news had a field day with this saying the WWE made fun of a plane crash or something stupid. That was realistically the only interesting thing about this match and it not only happened a day later but involved pre-match talk. Sigh. 1/2*

CHRIS JERICHO vs. BRAY WYATT: Jericho is back. & he won! These two just didn't mesh at all. *

BATTLE ROYAL (THE MIZ): The winner won the IC title. Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler battled last and Ziggler won! But no...The Miz had gone under the ropes and waited. He came in and tossed Ziggler over the ropes and won. Nobody likes The Miz. So why is he here? *1/2

JOHN CENA vs. ROMAN REIGNS vs. KANE vs. RANDY ORTON: A good match. The end had a lot of big moves and near-falls and it was exciting. Not as good as a Daniel Bryan vs. ? title match would've been but this is what we're stuck with. **1/2

WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

Sunday, June 29th, 2014
Boston

THE USOS vs. HARPER & ROWAN: Good opener. Fast-paced, brutal, the early, non-asleep/tired crowd was alive. The tag team division is actually decent lately, perhaps cuz they have to fill 3 hours every Monday. **1/2

PAIGE vs. NAOMI: Paige is hot. Paige is not an entertaining in-ring performer. Even Vince doesn't think so as AJ beat her for the title on Monday's RAW. 1/2*

ADAM ROSE vs. DAMIAN SANDOW: A year ago, Sandow was winning the MITB match. Now he's dressed as Paul Revere losing to the terribly dry Rose. What happened, kid? *

SETH ROLLINS vs. DEAN AMBROSE vs. RVD vs. KOFI KINGSTON vs. JACK SWAGGER vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER "MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH": The greatest match I've ever seen...until Kane's ring-post fireworks erupted and he came out to help Rollins win. So why was this a great match? Easy. Ambrose. See...Ambrose apparently separated his shoulder and was forced to the back. Later he ran out, the crowd went ape-shit and he ascended the ladder and was going to win and the pop would have been Daniel Bryan-loud and...yeah, Kane came out. These six guys took sick, sadistic bumps. A wild, full-on assult of a ladder match. Ambrose took a wicked suplex off the top rope. Rollins took a flip off the top of the ladder, landed on a ladder bridge which collapsed and he fell to the mat while hitting his head on the standing ladder. This was sick, awesome, one for the ages. The late, "corporate" interference ruined it all. Thanks. Still awesome for the majority, though. ***1/2

STARDUST & GOLDUST vs. RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL:

BIG E vs. RUSEV: Not bad. Not good. Big E did his through-the-ropes dive and took Rusev off the apron to the floor. It was typical I guess. *1/2

LAYLA vs. SUMMER RAE: Fandango was the special ref. Yep, this show had two women's matches. 1/2*

BRAY WYATT vs. KANE vs. SHEAMUS vs. CESARO vs. ROMAN REIGNS vs. RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN CENA vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO "LADDER MATCH":  So to return to the first ladder match's story, Cena prevented Kane from again helping the evil ones and Orton from winning. But man was this a bad ladder match, especially compared to the awesomeness of the first one. These eight lumbering bores took no chances, did no big spots. And Cena, the 15 time champ now, won the title. It wasn't horrible just not very good. **

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY

Sunday, June 15th, 2014
Arlington, Texas

SEIYA SANADA vs. TIGRE UNO vs. MANIK vs. CRAZZY STEVE vs. EDDIE EDWARDS vs. DAVEY RICHARDS "LADDER MATCH": So there was a ladder match, a cage match, and a death match. I guess TNA can't get by on regular old wrestling, eh? I'm not complaining. This opener was a bit too short but definitely wild. One of the Wolves, Richards, got flipped off the top rope onto a ladder arranged atop the top rope and ladder. That was the brutal move of the night. Just a bunch of craziness, really. Sanada retains the X-Division title. He did do a moonsault onto someone laying atop a ladder. That was sick. ***

 SOMOA JOE vs. BOBBY LASHLEY: Not bad. Crowd was good tonight. The winner of this and the Aries/King match goes into the main event against champ Young. **

WILLOW vs. MAGNUS: Jeff Hardy is Willow. Willow is weird. That's the gimmick. He did do a backwards leap/Nestea plunge from the top rope onto Magnus and Bram which was pretty crazy actually. Other then that it was pretty lame. *1/2

AUSTIN ARIES vs. KENNY KING: Eh. Aries needs to go to the WWE yesterday. King is mediocre. *1/2

ROSS & MARSHALL VON ERICH vs. DJ ZEMA ION & JESSIE GODDERZ: I'm too young to remember the Von Erich's. But these are Kevin Von Erich's sons. Kevin did get in the ring late and the crowd went nuts. Fuck...I'm 34 and too young to remember these guys. Who the hell in that audience does? Not a particularly good match. Ion and Golderrz used a chair and lost by DQ. **

ANGELINA LOVE vs. GAIL KIM: I'll be honest: I didn't watch this.

BULLY RAY vs. ETHAN CARTER III "TEXAS DEATH MATCH": This was a "Last Man Standing Match." They just called it a TDM for no other reason then it was in Texas. They did use broken glass. Bully fell through two tables at ringside and lost. It was entertaining but mostly dumb. **

MR. ANDERSON vs. JAMES STORM: Not good. Storm spit beer at a few Dallas Cowboys at ringside and the one interfered in the ring and cost Storm to lose. Eh. *

ERIC YOUNG vs. BOBBY LASHLEY vs. AUSTIN ARIES "CAGE MATCH":  Young did an elbow drop off the top of the cage. He retained. A decent main event to a decent show. The problem? Young lost the title to Lashley on Impact four days after this show...so what was the point of him retaining here? **1/2

WWE PAYBACK

Sunday, June 1st
Chicago

I kind of feel bad for those in Chicago at this show because game seven of the Eastern Conference NHL finals between the Blackhawks and the Kings was on at the same time in Chicago (albeit, Payback is over and it's 11:11 PM and the game is still on and tied in OT). Thought most fake-sport fans probably don't watch real sports. Although every heel on this show mentioned how the Blackhawks would lose and a guy in the second row was dressed as a clown and wearing a Blackhawks jersey.

TORITO vs. HORNSWOGGLE "MASK vs. HAIR": Yes, you read that right. I'm wondering if this was WWE's first ever hair vs. mask match. Mexico does it every day practically. Not a good match but 3MB and Los Matadores got involved and everyone took turns jumping off the top rope onto a pile of men that fell over. And then the ridiculous shave. This was on the pre-show. *1/2

CESARO vs. SHEAMUS: And the Blackhawks did lose in OT. The heels were right. And this was a fairly good show, albeit with some lame undercard matches. This was not lame. A good, high-action, back and forth wrestling match. Finisher was bad (Cesaro gave Sheamus The Swing and then Sheamus rolled Cesaro up in a small package to win and keep his U.S. title). I still don't get how Cesaro is a heel...but he's had some good matches this year so far and I wouldn't be surprised if he's fighting for the real title later this year. **1/2

RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL vs. GOLDDUST & CODY RHODES: Not very good. Rhodes quit his team post-match. 1/2*

RUSEV vs. BIG E: Yeah, the undercard mostly blew. Big E did do his patented tackle through the ropes maneuver which is always cool. Del Rio, Swagger, and Dolph Ziggler didn't wrestle on this show. But Bo Dallas and Alicia Fox did. And no WWE title defense. So weird show. 1/2*

BAD NEWS BARRETT vs. RVD: Barrett is funny but a boring wrestler. RVD is old. This is what you get. 1/2*

DANIEL BRYAN, BRIE BELLA & STEPHANIE MCMAHON: So Bryan, who had neck surgery and is out for awhile, had to give up the title or his wife, Brie, would be fired. The Chicago crowd chanted, "CM Punk!" Stephanie said something about how the people want Bryan to quit like Punk did. Brie Bella said that she quit then called Stephanie a bitch and slapped her. Good segment. Bryan, if ready, will fight Kane in a stretcher match for the title on June 29th at MITB. Otherwise...a MITB match for the title. **1/2

JOHN CENA vs. BRAY WYATT "LAST MAN STANDING": Good match. Yes, Cena in a good match. Thank the tables and chairs and the Wyatt family and Uso's. Luke Harper gave one of the Uso's a suplex off the top rope through two tables. Cena threw the steel ring steps over the top rope at Bray on the floor. The finish had Bray pinned under a utility crate over by the pyrotechnic desk. He couldn't get up and lost. Wild stuff with a lame end. ***

PAIGE vs. ALICIA FOX: Paige is the hottest chick in wrestling in a long time. Sadly, she's not entertaining in the ring. 1/2*

THE SHIELD vs. EVOLUTION "NO HOLDS BARRED ELIMINATION MATCH": A good, long main event. They brawled everywhere. Seth Rollins lept off the lower half of the titan tron. They used Singapore canes and the ring steps. Reigns was put through the announce table. After thirty minutes finally all three members of Evolution were pinned and eliminated. Sweep. Good clusterfuck melee. Batista, who wore a ridiculous blue outfit, was pelted with "Bluetista" chants. He quit on RAW. The end of this feud I suppose. ***

WWE EXTREME RULES

Sunday, May 4th, 2014
East Rutherford, NJ

HORNSWOGGLE vs. TORITO "WEELC MATCH": The match of the night. And it was free on the pre-show. This was a midget tlc match. So little tables, chairs, ref, and announcers. Hilarity ensues. The three little announcers sat at a small desk that Hornswoggle put Torito through. The announcers were Jerry Smaller, JB Elf, and Micro Cole. Whoever wrote that needs to put more of that creativity into the rest of the show. 3MB and Los Matadores eventually got in the mix and went through big tables and ladders at ringside. Yes, this was a farce but hugely entertaining. ***

JACK SWAGGER vs. RVD vs. CESARO: Eh. Cesaro had a great match on NXT awhile back but hasn't been as good on the main shows. Swagger is dull, RVD is good but been-there-done-that. An okay opener. **

ALEXANDER RUSEV vs. R. TRUTH & XAVIER WOODS: A squash. Funny that Rusev's lady friend put Vladimir Putin's picture on the Titantron and lauded him to the crowd. Other than that...1/2*

BIG E. vs. BAD NEWS BARRETT: A new IC champ! Who cares? Barrett is at least amusing on the mic, but both guys are pretty boring in the ring. Big E. did a dive through the rope and tackled Barrett off the apron and onto the floor. That was cool. *

THE SHIELD vs. EVOLUTION: Good match. Seth Rollins did a New Jack dive off a balcony and onto HHH and Orton. That was wild. Batista got pinned. Funny how Rollins, the one not being pushed, is turning out to be the true star. **1/2

BRAY WYATT vs. JOHN CENA "CAGE MATCH": Ugh. The two members of The Wyatt Family not in the match both climbed the cage, interfered, and were basically in the match. The lights went out, returned, and a child in a robe on the mic at the cage door sang a line from the song, "He got the whole world in his hands," and Cena, momentarily confused, got Wyatt's finisher and then Wyatt left the cage. Stupid ending. *1/2

PAIGE vs. TAMINA: Women's matches are dull. Paige is chalk-white, young, and hot...but for the love of god, give them ladders, tables, or something to entertain us. 1/2*

KANE vs. DANIEL BRYAN: The writer's room was probably so baffled at how to make this good they said, "Do a flaming table!" So they did...the first time in WWE since Edge/Mick Foley at 'Mania, right? Kane lit the table at ringside on fire then climbed up on the apron and Bryan pushed him into it. Ringside guys put it out and then Kane, dazed, entered the ring, got a flying knee, and was pinned. They did cane shots, Bryan went through the announce table, and after backstage brawling, Bryan put Kane on a forklift and drove him to the ring then climbed up on the pallet on the forklift and dove off and delivered a flying headbutt. Most of this was terrible, though. Bad feud. **