WWE ROYAL RUMBLE

Sunday, January 26th, 2014
Pittsburgh

DANIEL BRYAN vs. BRAY WYATT: Good match. The match of the night. Towards the end it got brutal and wild and the crowd was energetic. Bryan lept off the apron and gave Wyatt a tornado ddt on the floor. Sick. Then later Bryan lept through the ropes, was caught by Wyatt, and he delivered his finisher by planting Bryan's head into the ringside barrier (sick because Bryan had a concussion a week ago...pretty dumb to have let this move take place). Wyatt won clean which the crowd thought meant Bryan was going to win the Rumble later on...**1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. THE BIG SHOW: Before the match started Lesnar hit Show then beat him with a chair. Finally the ref rang the bell and Show punched Lesnar. Then Lesnar F5'd him and won. Then Lesnar hit Show with a chair like fifty times. This was to prove Lesnar is a beast...but I'd rather have seen a real match. **

JOHN CENA vs. RANDY ORTON: The crowd chanted, "This is awful!" and also "Randy Savage" and other randomness during this okay match. Both guys gave the other the other person's finisher. It was okay, nothing special. The Wyatt family showed up to distract Cena and Orton won. **

THE ROYAL RUMBLE (BATISTA): The story of the show was the crowd. When #30 was announced and it wasn't Daniel Bryan but was Mysterio, the crowd booed until the end. They booed Mysterio, booed Batista winning, cheered Roman Reigns who was left with Batista at the end. We all wanted Bryan. Why the WWE hates Bryan is beyond me. On RAW the next night they acknowledged this by having Bryan come out to open the show and confront Stephanie and Hunter. Hunter, in a baby voice, said, "Awww...you didn't get what you wanted?" to the crowd. Way to sell the WWE network by fucking the fans. I'm sure people will want to pay for it now that you hate us. As for the Rumble...it had spots of entertainment. Torrito, the midget, came in and eliminated Fandango. Diesel, Sheamus, and JBL were surprise entrants. Kofi was thrown out but caught by some new NXT star who slammed him onto the ringside barrier. Kofi had never touched the floor so he stood up and ran and lept onto the ring apron. Cool. But a mediocre Rumble, mediocre show, awful booking. Batista vs. Orton as the 'Mania main event? Good luck with that. **

Best Wrestler of 2013: CM PUNK

CM Punk had the best match at Wrestlemania (against The Undertaker) and Summerslam (against Lesnar), was in the best match of the year, had one of the best matches on RAW all year (against Cena for the title in February) was terrific and awesome during his war of words in feuds against Lesnar, The Rock, and Paul Heyman. It's not easy to be great in the ring or great on the mic but Punk is both. He will go down as one of WWE's great stars. It was a good year for the little tattooed kid from Ring of Honor.

Best PPV of 2013: WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

Two three-star ladder matches, a three-star Alberto Del Rio match (still can't believe it), RVD jumping off the top of a big dog ladder, Paul Heyman turning on Punk...this show was a good one. Sure, it had filler, but the three good matches were highly entertaining and super fun. This is always a good show and with the Smackdown title now gone this is an end of an era. A nice way to go out.

Best Match of 2013: CM PUNK vs. BROCK LESNAR WWE SUMMERSLAM

Nearly a masterpiece, this epic showdown between the beast and the little punk kid provided the most action, entertainment, and emotion of any match I saw last year. The reason was simple; they went back and forth in brutal fashion and the near-falls had me on the edge of my seat. A great match between two legends.

WWE TLC

Sunday, December 12th, 2013
Houston

 FANDANGO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: In a perfect world, Ziggler is facing Bryan for the title tonight. Imagine that! This was a pre-show match. Mediocre but Ziggler wrestles and comes out like he chugged a Red Bull. **

CM PUNK vs. THE SHIELD: Good opener, albeit unrealistic that one (scrawny) man would defeat three men. **1/2

AJ LEE vs. NATALYA: I do like AJ's "character. Not her wrestling, however. *

BIG E LANGSTON vs. DAMIAN SANDOW: A little sad that the Smackdown title is gone. This means that Sandow will never be champ ever. Langston is just dull, a slow bore. This match? Eh. *1/2

THE RHODES BROTHERS vs. THE REAL AMERICANS vs. REY MYSTERIO & BIG SHOW vs. RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL: Good stuff. An elimination melee. Went 21 minutes. The tag title division is back! I guess that's good. **1/2

BRODUS CLAY vs. R. TRUTH: I didn't watch the next three matches.

THE MIZ vs. KOFI KINGSTON: The Miz is in a WWE holiday movie out on DVD. It's probably funnier than Anchorman 2.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. THE WYATT FAMILY: Sigh.

RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN CENA "TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS": Well they broke the Spanish announce table, botched the finish, used chairs. Orton handcuffed Cena to the ropes but Cena undid them and still lost. Whatever. Bryan should beat Orton for the title...when? **

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

Sunday, November 24th, 2013
Long Island, NY

What happened to Survivor Series?
Not that it was ever that great to begin with...but it is one of the big four...definitely the worst of the four...but it's supposed to be a big deal, right? This show may have been the worst ppv of the year. It wasn't that there were no good matches, it's just that the two matches that were good felt like Smackdown main events.
I will say this: the main event of next month's TLC, a TLC match with Orton vs. Cena for both titles, is a lot more intriguing than the last few ppv main events.
My hope? Orton unifies the belts, keeps the title 'till 'Mania and loses it to Daniel Bryan. A boy can dream, no?

CODY RHODES, GOLDDUST, REY MYSTERIO & THE USO'S vs. THE REAL AMERICANS & THE SHIELD: The match of the night! Roman Reigns won after eliminating four of his foes. It was fast-paced, felt like a TV main event. A good start to a dull show. **1/2 (out of ****)

BIG E LANGSTON vs. CURTIS AXEL: Ugh. Didn't watch.

DIVA ELIMINATION MATCH: 7 on 7. What a trainwreck! Didn't watch. I assume it was a trainwreck. I do like AJ, though, just not in the ring.

MARK HENRY vs. RYBACK: More ugh. Didn't watch.

JOHN CENA vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: Cena won in a match nobody cared about. There were a ton of near-falls but that didn't even compel me. *

CM PUNK & DANIEL BRYAN vs. LUKE HARPER & ERIK ROWAN: Good match but nothing special. The main dude of the Wyatt family didn't even wrestle...his two brothers did. I feel bad that the two best wrestlers in the WWE are in a feud like this. **

THE BIG SHOW vs. RANDY ORTON: Awful. I figured that, since the WWE knew this would suck, they'd throw in some tables, chairs, ring-steps, anything really, to make it watchable. I believe a chair was used...but Orton won after HHH and Stephanie showed up on the stage and "distracted" The Big Show. Orton punted The Big Show in the head and won. Cena came out after and raised his title in the ring and got in Orton's face...for no real good reason. -No Stars-

WWE HELL IN A CELL

Sunday, October 27th, 2013
Orlando

I miss Halloween Havoc. But, alas, most of 'em probably sucked. Like how that "great" party you went to when you were 16 was epic and the girl you kissed was hot...but memory is a funny thing and go back in a time machine and the party was basic and the girl was just okay. All Hell in a Cell matches are fused and promoted by past memories, faded glories, and they'll never be the same, as great, as epic. So why even have them anymore?

GOLDDUST & CODY RHODES vs. THE USSO'S vs. SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS: They did a cool maneuver where Rhodes suplexed Rollins off the top rope and onto all of the guys on the floor. Sick. Not a bad opener. ** (out of ****)

FANDANGO & SUMMER RAE vs. KHALI & NATALYA: Really?

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BIG E LANGSTON: What a feud! I skipped this and the previous match.

CM PUNK vs. RYBACK & PAUL HEYMAN "HELL IN A CELL": Punk won after elbow dropping Ryback and a table from the top rope. Heyman got up on top of the cell thanks to a crane lift...so Punk then climbed up, hit him with a cane then delivered the GTS. Why was Heyman up there? At least Punk goes to the top. *1/2

LOS MATADORES vs. SWAGGER & CESARO: Didn't watch.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. JOHN CENA: Well Cena gets injured, returns here and wins the title. Cena and Del Rio bore me. 1/2*

AJ LEE vs. BRIE BELLA: Didn't watch.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. RANDY ORTON "HELL IN A CELL": Shawn Michaels was the ref...so of course he super kicks Bryan and Orton wins. I give up. *