Monday, November 19, 2012

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

Sunday, November 18th, 2012, from Indianapolis

BRODUS CLAY & TYSON KIDD & JUSTIN GABRIEL & REY MYSTERIO & SIN CARA vs. TENSAI & TITUS O'NEIL & DARREN YOUNG & PRIMO & EPICO: This stale, dull show opened with an un-announced traditional elimination match. It was entertaining, but with no build up, who cares? ** (out of ****)

EVE TORRES vs. KAITLYN: I read the paper. *

ANTONIO CESARO vs. R-TRUTH: More paper. The WWE roster isn't bad, just boring. 1/2*

AJ/VICKY SEGMENT: Tamima is Vicky's new "enforcer." AJ is actually the most entertaining "diva" in the WWE in a long time. Why? She doesn't wrestle.

BIG SHOW vs. SHEAMUS: Boring until the end when there were some near-falls and a ref bump. Sheamus sucks. On RAW they even gave him the "What?" treatment. *1/2

TEAM FOLEY (RANDY ORTON & KOFI KINGSTON & THE MIZ & DANIEL BRYAN & KANE vs. TEAM ZIGGLER (DOLPH ZIGGLER & ALBERTO DEL RIO & DAMIEN SANDOW & DAVID OTUNGA & WADE BARRETT): So the day after Hell in a Cell they set up a Team Foley vs. Team CM Punk match for this show but a week later changed it and now we had this pointless dreck. The WWE needs new writers and fast. *1/2

RYBACK vs. CM PUNK vs. JOHN CENA: The plan for the past few months has been for The Rock to fight CM Punk at the Royal Rumble for the title. This plan would not make sense if CM Punk wasn't the champ. So the WWE does the worst thing ever and introduces an undefeated, new, fan-friendly star into the title hunt. Why? I'm not entirely sure. I guess to sell ppv's, although Cena vs. Punk would have done the job better. They probably didn't want Cena to lose again to Punk at Hell in a Cell...but he lost here, anyway, and Ryback was undefeated but has now lost in the main event at two straight ppv's. Logic? So now it's a matter of: how can WWE keep the title on CM Punk in the strangest ways possible? God forbid he win a match clean. Last month the ref was evil and during this match three NXT stars beat up Ryback and put him through the -guess- Spanish announce table (earlier, Punk & Cena teamed up to put Ryback through the regular announce table). This match had two table breaks but a poor ending (we already saw a NXT invasion). A very weak show. **

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

TNA TURNING POINT

Sunday, November 11th, 2012, from Orlando

SOMOA JOE vs. MAGNUS: I can't stand Magnus. He's so cookie cutter. * (out of ****)

ODB & ERIC YOUNG vs. TARA & JESSE: Another comedy fest. If you're a redneck maybe you loved this. Eric Young should be the TNA champ, though. *

RVD vs. JOEY RYAN: Really? The X-Division used to be incredible. *1/2

DOC vs. JOSEPH PARK: I miss Abyss. 1/2*

CHAVO GUERRERO & HERNANDEZ vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN: Hernandez landed on his head at a house show so he didn't do his top-rope, head-first dive in this match. **

JAMES STORM vs. BOBBY ROODE vs. AJ STYLES: Without blood and weapons, Roode and Storm are dull. **

KURT ANGLE vs. DEVON: Still waiting for a Bubba/Devon clusterfuck. *1/2

JEFF HARDY vs. AUSTIN ARIES "LADDER MATCH": Seriously sadistic. This was brutal. Hardy took a ton of sick falls in this one, landing like a marionette every time. The final was clever; Aries grabbed the controls that raised the titles higher so Hardy had to bring out a bigger ladder. Hardy gave Aries a twist of fate on a ladder on the top rope then won it. Great match. ***

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

WWE HELL IN A CELL

Sunday, October 28th, 2012 from Atlanta

RANDY ORTON vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: Orton is apparently filming a movie but still on all the shows. This means that Orton is almost literally walking through the motions. Not good. *

DANIEL BRYAN & KANE vs. CODY RHODES & DAMIEN SANDOW: As much as I like the comedy of Bryan and Kane...I'd rather see Bryan in main event title matches. *1/2

THE MIZ vs. KOFI KINGSTON: Kofi will never be a head-liner no matter how exciting he is. The Miz was a head-liner. Go figure. *1/2

ANTONIO CESARO vs. JUSTIN GABRIEL: Cesaro is at least funny. Gabriel at least does the top-rope flip splash finisher. 1/2*

REY MYSTERIO & SIN CARA vs. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS: Basic. *1/2

SHEAMUS vs. THE BIG SHOW: So The Big Show won the title clean. Really? He's so old and dull. **

EVE TORRES vs. KAITLYN vs. LAYLA: Boring. 1/2*

CM PUNK vs. RYBACK "HELL IN A CELL":  I wrote this last November: "This means that Punk had the title in July, Cena in August, Punk in August, Del Rio in August, Cena in September, Del Rio in October, now Punk in November. Way to make it special." Are they reading my blog? Punk has had the title for almost a year. Wow. This match was the best of the night but not really that good. I loved the finish, though. Ryback was ready to deliver his finisher when the ref low-blowed him and Punk rolled up Ryback to pin him and end his Goldberg-esque undefeated streak. At least it was something different...and Punk needs to keep the title so he can lose it to The Rock at The Royal Rumble. What I loved was that the guys climbed on top of the cell. When was the last time the frigging cell was actually used? Nice unique ending albeit on RAW they didn't even bring out the evil ref. **1/2

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY

Sunday, October 14th, 2012 from Phoenix

RVD vs. ZEMA ION (8:04): This is the "Wrestlemania" show...but was it really a big show? The main event had zero heat or build up besides a tournament that Hardy won. Roode and Storm have been feuding but they had already fought in a bigger, title match in the Spring. The big difference in this show was the crowd. A hot, loud Phoenix audience of 5,530 certainly helped. To open they had RVD win the X-Division title. He isn't even in the X-Division. It was mediocre with some good high flying moves. ** (out of ****)

SAMOA JOE vs. MAGNUS (9:15): The crowd chanted, "This is awesome!" during this match. It wasn't. They're both big guys so any move they deliver looks destructive. Good but nothing special. **

BOBBY ROODE vs. JAMES STORM (17:35): A bloody, cluster fuck, ECW-esque match that was by far the match of the night. Who knew these two would ever be in a good match? First off, the original plan seemed to be Roode keeping the title until this show and headlining against Storm. Instead they were in a match early for no title. I hate these two. They're boring. This match was sick, though, and super engrossing. They used trash cans, thumbtacks, canes, beer bottles, and went through a table. Storm wore a crimson mask. Epic and awesome. ***1/2

JOEY RYAN vs. AL SNOW (8:32): I was hoping this feud would get Tazz out of retirement but no, Al Snow and head came out of retirement. The crowd chanted, "We want head!" Matt Morgan showed up to help Ryan win and get a TNA contract. *

CHAVO GUERRERO & HERNANDEZ vs. KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs. KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (15:39): Chavo sucks, okay? And this was a good match but he just does not fit into this dynamic. Angle was awesome, Kazarian landed hard on his shoulder from the top rope to the floor, Hernandez lept over the top rope. A lot of excitement when Chavo wasn't in it. **1/2

TARA vs. MISS TESSMACHER (6:21): Well the ref was hot. Tara brought out her special, Hollywood boyfriend post-match and it was some guy from Big Brother and the crowd chanted, "Who are you?" Funny. *

ACES & EIGHTS vs. BULLY RAY & STING (10:51): D-Von was unmasked as the leader of Aces & Eights. The original plan was Bischoff. Bully Ray came out with Sting makeup. Hogan came out and did all his moves. Bully Ray went through a table. This storyline sucks but I do like D-Von as the bad guy because I see some bloody Dudley battles in the future. *1/2

JEFF HARDY vs. AUSTIN ARIES (23:03): Long and surprisingly void of excitement. This is TNA's "Wrestlemania," right? Where are the big Swanton Bombs off stages? Hardy is too old and Aries has been a dull champ. The final flurry was good when the 2.5 counts were flowing but overall it wasn't that good. **


Monday, September 17, 2012

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS

Sunday, September 16th, 2012 from Boston

SIN CARA vs. REY MYSTERIO vs. THE MIZ vs. CODY RHODES: This, surprisingly, was a pretty good show. I think one reason is that there was mostly wrestling without a lot of bullshit, although the ending of the night was pretty lame. I also was half asleep so maybe that's why I enjoyed it (wide awake and paying close attention to anything WWE related means you spot the badness). Apparently, The Miz and Sin Cara had a match on Smackdown that was so bad it had to be heavily edited...but this match was good. I like four ways because there's usually never a dull moment. **1/2 (out of ****)

KANE & DANIEL BRYAN vs. KOFI KINGSTON & R. TRUTH: I like that Kane and D-Bryan are in anger management class and sort of like Laurel & Hardy or some sort of comedy duo these days. It's funny...and when was the last time Kane was a part of anything entertaining? Well this duo won the tag titles. **

ANTONIO CESARO vs. ZACK RYDER: Yeah...Cesaro is from Switzerland and a former rugby player. He's TNA material. He did have a cool uppercut move, though. *1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Ziggler is more entertaining than Orton and even the crowd agreed by cheering him and booing Orton. An okay match...but for no title on a show about titles. **

LAYLA vs. EVE TORRES: Well the women have a storyline. Eve beat up the girl that was going to be in this match so Eve got the spot and...oh, did I mention that it's a bad storyline? 1/2*

SHEAMUS vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO: Another dull match with these two. *

CM PUNK vs. JOHN CENA: A good, almost great main event. I guess the WWE learned how to produce a classic by re-watching the last few Undertaker Wrestlemania matches; make the guys kick out of every finisher. And Cena also kicked out of a Rock Bottom and the finale had Cena running up to Punk on the top rope to suplex him off like Kurt Angle does. Cena pinned Punk and won...but the ref said that both of their shoulders were down so it was a draw. A long (27 minutes) match with a lame finish. The crowd did chant, "This is awesome!" so I'm assuming they got their money's worth. ***




Friday, September 14, 2012

TNA NO SURRENDER

Sunday, September 9th, 2012 from Orlando

JEFF HARDY vs. SOMOA JOE: Um...why did these two wrestle Thursday just to wrestle again tonight? It was good but nothing spectacular. Sadly, both guys haven't been in a great match in awhile. **

BULLY RAY vs. JAMES STORM: Well...Bully is only good if tables, barbed wire, fire, or something destructive is in the ring. Storm is just dull. This was boring but at least the big Storm ain't getting the title. *

MISS TESSMACHER vs. TARA: Not good. *

AUSTIN ARIES vs. THE ARM BREAKER: Yes, the champ of the company wrestled a masked man with no name in a match with no ref or ending. 1/2*

ZEMA ION vs. SONJAY DUTT: Dutt is a good, entertaining wrestler. Zema is getting there. It was typical. **

RVD vs. MAGNUS: Eh. *1/2

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN vs. AJ STYLES & KURT ANGLE: Angle is hurt, but honestly you couldn't tell. It wasn't as good as their match of the year in June but it was the best of the night. **1/2

JEFF HARDY vs. BULLY RAY: Unwatchable. Hardy was hurt by the Aces & Eights during the Aries/Arm Breaker match that had the locker room come out and fight the bad, masked dudes. So Hardy was hurt, didn't do anything, then at the end miraculously won. Um...I'd rather see an epic, hardcore classic. 1/2*

Sunday, August 26, 2012

WWE SUMMERSLAM

Sunday, August 19th, 2012 from Los Angeles

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. CHRIS JERICHO (13:05): TNA must be really good this year, right? Because this show was perhaps 2012's worst ppv of the year. First off, this opener was for nothing. But on RAW they fought with big stipulations; Jericho loses and he's fired, Ziggler loses and he forfeits his MITB contract. I understand you want to get ratings for a 3 hour RAW (they're 3 hours now for no good reason...perhaps they want to slowly die off like WCW) but Summerslam is supposed to be the 2nd biggest show of the year. And this match was the best on the show and not all that good. ** (out of ****)

KANE vs. DANIEL BRYAN (8:02): At least Bryan won. Why is Kane still wrestling? 1/2*

THE MIZ vs. REY MYSTERIO (9:09): Really? Really? Still pushing The Miz? *

SHEAMUS vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO (11:22): Del Rio will never be in a good match. Just realize that already and get rid of him. 1/2*

R. TRUTH & KOFI KINGSTON vs. PRIME TIME PLAYERS (7:07): I just love the tag title division. There's, like, one team in it now. *

CM PUNK vs. BIG SHOW vs. JOHN CENA (12:34): Funny...but they did the same thing in this match that TNA did last week. Punk and Cena both put on submission holds on Show and two refs rang the bell but AJ came out to restart it. Punk has been the champ since last November. Wow. This match was dull. First off; Kane and The Big Show suck and have always sucked. I think Shane O'Mac was the only one ever to get a good match out of them. & he quit the company. *1/2

BROCK LESNAR vs. HHH (18:45): So...Cena had a great, messy, bizarre match against Lesnar in April. You'd think HHH would put on a better one, right? You would be wrong. This was 19 boring minutes. & it was obvious Lesnar wouldn't lose both of his WWE matches this year, right? So HHH taps out and loses. What a downbeat way to end a show. I'm falling asleep. 1/2*