WWE FASTLANE

Memphis

Wow. WWE's first ever Fastlane ppv. Hopefully it'll be the last. A bad, meaningless title. I miss the Elimination Chamber. And this show was on at the exact same time as the Oscar's. I guess they figure dumb wrestling fans don't watch the Oscar's. Either way, what I did was watch the first match live at 8 (the Oscar's, which turned out dreadfully dull, didn't start until 8:30). Then I watched the rest of the show Monday night (and of course I watched the main event first on Monday...it was the only match anyone cared about). It's 16 degrees right now. That has no correlation on anything...except perhaps an Inferno match would've spiced up this show...a bit?

SETH ROLLINS & KANE & THE BIG SHOW vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & ERICK ROWAN & RYBACK (13:01): Kind of just a same-old TV caliber match...except Orton returned post-match to chase Rollins out of the building. *1/2 (out of ****)

GOLDUST vs. STARDUST (8:55): The ref didn't even touch his hand to the mat for the "3" but it ended anyway. A botch? I'm not complaining...this match wasn't going anywhere. The crowd was lifeless for this, too, which didn't help. *1/2

THE USO'S vs. CESARO & TYSON KIDD (9:33): Cesaro has really been fucked over, eh? Remember when he was slowly becoming a big singles star? Jeez. I thought this would be better, as The Uso's at least usually entertain. It was just okay. And Cesaro just looks like he doesn't want to be there. *1/2

HHH & STING: A confrontation! And some fake punching and a Scorpion Death Drop. Sting is too old to still be wrestling. Someone tell him.

NIKKI BELLA vs. PAIGE (5:34): Paige is so gorgeous I'd rather just see her stand in the ring. This was another atrocious "Diva's" match. Why the WWE can't figure out how to make women's wrestling exciting outside of NXT is beyond me. 1/2*

BAD NEWS BARRETT vs. DEAN AMBROSE (7:58): Ambrose reminds of of vintage The Sandman. He's wild, loose, crazy. Sadly, he's stuck fighting boring Barrett. The end was a DQ because Ambrose kept punching Barrett in the corner. Huh? *1/2

BRAY WYATT: The Undertaker's robed figures with torches came out with a casket but Bray Wyatt was in it. Okay...

RUSEV vs. JOHN CENA (18:42): Good match. Rusev kicked Cena in the balls when the ref wasn't looking and it helped him win (Rusev is undefeated). What was good on this whole show was the matches were back and forth instead of the usual WWE protocol of having a beat down followed by a miraculous recovery. **1/2

ROMAN REIGNS vs. DANIEL BRYAN (20:10): Good match. Definitely Reigns' best singles match thus far. He still isn't there yet. Will he ever be? Bryan is on another level. He looked as good as he's ever looked. The crowd didn't boo Reigns as much but they still cheered more for Bryan. A Lesnar/Bryan match would be a masterpiece. I just hope we see it someday. The finish had Bryan ready to deliver his flying knee when Reigns speared him for the clean finish. **1/2

So Wrestlemania has:

Sting vs. HHH
Wyatt vs. Undertaker
Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
Reigns vs. Lesnar
Orton vs. Rollins

Not a bad card, but not as good as it could be. Ziggler and Bryan should steal the show...albeit the match is meaningless. The Undertaker and Sting are too old to be wrestling so those matches won't work. Reigns/Lesnar will be obviously mediocre. And Orton/Rollins has dull written all over it.
I guess we'll see. Please surprise me.

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE

 Philadelphia

THE ASCENSION vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS: This is how out of touch Vince McMahon is. Just watch this show from top to bottom. NXT is the WWE's farm system show. It's great. They have a ton of good wrestlers like Sami Zayn and Finn Balor and Hideo Itami and Adrian Neville. So who do they bring up to put on the main roster? A lame, early 90's style tag team that looks like a rip-off of The Road Warriors. Jesus. The crowd boos them, they're pretty pathetic on the mic, and in-ring they're fairly basic. They beat DX here. *1/2 (out of ****)

THE USO'S vs. THE MIZ & MIZDOW: The crowd loves Mizdow. But this match was comedy and not much else. *

THE BELLA'S vs. PAIGE & NATALYA: Unwatchable (because I didn't watch it).

BROCK LESNAR vs. SETH ROLLINS vs. JOHN CENA: Wow. This was the best WWE match in a long time. The best match on ppv since last June's first MITB ladder match, Lesnar's best match since August of 2013 against CM Punk. It was high-energy, wild, a classic. Lesnar was dominant early...but Rollins and Cena teamed up on him. Cena crashed Lesnar through the ring-side wall. Rollins lept off the rope and through Lesnar on the Spanish announce table. Eventually the doctors were putting Lesnar on a stretcher while Rollins and Cena traded near falls. Rollins did a wicked 360 type moonsault flip from the top rope onto Cena and then Lesnar got off the stretcher, F-5'ed Rollins and won. Sick of the getting-off-a-stretcher-to-continue plot but awesome stuff nonetheless. ***1/2

THE ROYAL RUMBLE (ROMAN REIGNS): So...yeah. Vince McMahon is a classic bully. For the second straight year the crowd booed the winner of the Royal Rumble. After Daniel Bryan got tossed out early by Bray Wyatt the boos reigned down for the rest of the show. There was even a loud "Bullshit!" chant and The Rock even got boos when he came out to save Reigns from getting beat down by Kane and The Big Show (The Rock was not a participant...he was there apparently to counter the anomosity). Bubba Dudley showed up which was fun. DDP and The Boogeyman were also lame surprises. But this show will be remembered for the crowd's hatred for Reigns, who won. I'm not entirely sure why they even put Bryan in this match if they knew it would cause this. They could have saved him for next month's show. And Reigns, let's face it, doesn't have it. He's awful on the mic, his in-ring work is average. Why push him when you have so many other guys that a) the crowd likes and b) are better wrestlers? Cesaro, Ziggler, Bryan. C'mon, Vince. This was just depressing. *

Best Wrestler of 2014: TOMOHIRO ISHII

There were so many great wrestlers in NJPW this past year that it's hard to pick the best. Shibata, Nakamura, AJ Styles, Goto, Tanahashi, Honma, and Okada were all in some spectacular matches. Daniel Bryan in the WWE was in the best match at The Royal Rumble and the two best matches at Wrestlemania. He was the highlight of the early part of the year for sure and the only reason to watch or care about that promotion for a long time. But the WWE hates him and did a lot of damage. First, turning him heel for no reason then quickly reversing it. Having him feud with Kane. And of course, pissing off the fans by not putting him in the Royal Rumble. Bryan was out of action after May, though, and while I love his in-ring work and the crowd's reaction to him, the one wrestler that was continuously in the best matches this year and was always the one you wanted to see was Tomohiro Ishii of New Japan. At 39, his best years are probably behind him. He even separated his shoulder in August and kept wrestling through the year. But the number of amazing matches he was in this past year was astounding. His match in February against Naito was excellent. In May against Honma he delivered another awesome performance. And in the G1 tournament he was the star. He took part in seven of the best matches during that tournament. He's fucking nuts because he takes so punishment but he also dishes it out. He has the best top rope suplex in the game, always gives a wicked clothesline either on a standing opponent or a kneeling one, always ends up with a final five minute dramatic flurry to end a match, and always puts his body on the line. He is the epitome of giving you your money's worth. He's, sadly, probably going to end up a broken shell of a man physically but he certainly entertained the hell out of his fans. Ishii was the best wrestler of 2014.

Best Match of 2014: AJ STYLES vs. MINORU SUZUKI "NJPW G1 CLIMAX 24" DAY 7

August 1st from Korakuen Hall in Tokyo, Japan

There were so many good matches this past year in New Japan that it's really hard to pick a best of the year match (Ishii vs. Naito in February was perhaps the second best). WWE had a few good matches, the best being the first ladder match on their "Money in the Bank" ppv. But the best match I saw all year was Styles vs. Suzuki. It wasn't the main event. It wasn't even for a belt. There weren't even any near-falls. It was just brutal, exciting, intense, wild, dramatic, and suspenseful. The crowd, at the small Korakuen Hall, helped. And Suzuki, who looked and acted pissed off that a brash American was in his house, was awesome. AJ held his own and stood toe-to-toe. They even battled into the crowd at one point. It was painful at times to watch because of the stiff-shots but also breathtaking and amazing. Two great wrestlers with a great crowd putting on one hell of a show. It was the best match of the year.

Best Show of 2014: NEW JAPAN G1 CLIMAX 24 DAY 8

August 3rd from Osaka, Japan

Maybe it was because WWE buried Daniel Bryan and pissed off its fans this past year or maybe it was because New Japan finally started offering their shows live in the U.S. online on UStream. Whatever the reason, NJPW became the wrestling promotion to watch, talk about, and love this year. The style is different (no comedy gimmicks, for one) but the wrestling is top notch. Two guys, one fight, no run-ins, no screw-job finishes, no fluff. Just entertaining, dramatic, intense wrestling. And there was nothing better in wrestling than the G1 tournament this past summer. Twelve shows between July 21st and August 10th (21 days). Every show had at least one classic match, but Day 8 had the most. The show opened with another great Ishii match (against Davey Boy Smith, Jr.). Goto and Naito had a terrific match. AJ Styles and Lance Archer was a great match. Makabe and Suzuki was awesome. Honma (my, and the crowd's, personal favorite) and Shibata was stellar. And Tanahashi and Nakamura had an excellent match to end the show. This show was loaded. It was insane how many great matches were on this one show. The thing about NJPW matches is that they just build and build until the final flurry of intense, back and forth action. After seeing and feeling this roller-coaster ride of emotion and suspense and action match after match you just have to sit back and take a breather. One of the best shows ever in the greatest wrestling tournament ever. Legendary indeed.

WWE TABLES, LADDERS, CHAIRS & STAIRS

Cleveland

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. LUKE HARPER "LADDER MATCH": Well Ziggler is being pushed again. Weird how he had that "lost" year. I guess Vince and creative realized they need more top stars. The fans won't remember how we buried Ziggler for over a year after he won the title then lost it without being pinned. Whatever. Good match, albeit more hard to watch than entertaining. All of the bumps were painful looking. There was blood. Harper looked like he broke his arm. There weren't any major spots...just pain. **1/2 (out of ****)

MIZ & MIZDOW vs. THE USO'S: The Miz and his stunt double, Damien "Mizdow" Sandow, kept the titles because they lost by DQ. It's like no matter how hard the WWE tries to bury Sandow he keeps coming out on top (the crowd loves Mizdow). This was pure comedy. And pure filler. It's a little sad that the WWE has become a kid's comedy show whereas companies like New Japan put on pure wrestling shows and are superior. NXT had a special event four days before this ppv and every critic/fan online raved about it while they thought this ppv was so-so. NXT is more wrestling based. The "skits" and comedy aren't prominent. I think a healthy mix "for everyone" is good...but it really seems like the WWE these days is 90% a kaleidoscopic carnival. 1/2*

BIG SHOW vs. ERICK ROWAN "STAIRS MATCH": So this match made them change the name of this ppv from TLC to TLC&S. Yawn. They should not have split up the great tag team of Harper and Rowan because they had a great tag team and now they have two dull single wrestlers. And why, honestly, is The Big Show not retired? 1/2*

JOHN CENA vs. SETH ROLLINS "TABLES MATCH": I've always hated tables matches because only one table will be broken. I want to see a hundred tables broken. Well in this match everyone circumnavigated the rules so that a plethora of tables were indeed smashed. Cena put Rollins through a table when the ref was knocked out so it didn't count. Both guys fell through two tables at ringside at the same time so it didn't count. Roman Reigns later came out to spear The Big Show through a table. And finally, Cena put Rollins through a table to win. So it was wild, fairly entertaining. And, honestly, this should've been the main event. **1/2

NIKKI BELLA vs. A.J. LEE: Ah...the illustrious women's division. Why do they bother? 1/2*

RYBACK vs. KANE "CHAIRS MATCH": This was actually worse than the women's match. Nikki is at least eye candy. AJ is a decent wrestler stuck in a mediocre creative division. But Ryback and Kane have pretty much nothing to work with. They're awful and have always been. -No Stars-

RUSEV vs. JACK SWAGGER: Short. Bad. They're pushing the hell out of Rusev and I can't figure out why. He's not entertaining out of or in the ring. He's like a bygone villain of 1987's WWE. Wake up, Vince. 1/2*

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BRAY WYATT "TLC MATCH": Good match with a weird, awful end. Ambrose ended up leaping off a ladder through Wyatt on a table then did it again with a bigger ladder then did it again with a bigger ladder and the Spanish announce table. But the end...my God the end. Was that how it was supposed to end? If so...who actually thought that would be a compelling end to a ppv? So Ambrose pulls in a TV to the ring but it was still plugged in. So when Ambrose pulled it to get the cords loose the thing exploded in a hail of sparks. Ambrose, blind. Wyatt gets up and finishes him and wins. Huh. So Dean causes himself to lose. Why not have Wyatt hit Ambrose with the TV and it explodes? Cool ending! But no. Super lame finish. Good match up to that. **1/2

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

St. Louis

STARDUST & GOLDUST vs. THE USO'S vs. THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW vs. LOS MATADORES: I thought this match might be good since, with eight guys wrestling, it wouldn't be boring. Sadly, it didn't turn out all that great. I'd much rather see The Uso's vs. The Wyatt Family on every ppv until the end of time. To add salt to the wound, The Miz and his shadow won the tag titles. Ugh. *1/2 (out of ****)

NATALYA & NAOMI & EMMA & ALICIA FOX vs. PAIGE & SUMMER RAE & CAMERON & LAYLA: I always rag on the women's division because, let's face it, there's never been a good match or interesting storyline ever. The WWE doesn't even try to create long-term, compelling feuds with these women so why should I care? Paige was the lone one left in this traditional SS elimination match and lost. 1/2*

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BRAY WYATT: These two sort of tried a B-version of a tough, hard NJPW match. Didn't entirely work. Ambrose got DQ'd when he used a chair and then jumped off the top rope and elbow dropped Wyatt through a table...setting up next month's TLC match. **

ADAM ROSE & THE BUNNY vs. TITUS O'NEILL & HEATH SLATER: What's worse? A guy in an Easter Bunny suit wrestling or an entire 5 person team of Doink the Clowns? Discuss. -No Stars-

AJ LEE vs. NIKKI BELLA: Nikki won the coveted women's title. Okay. I guess at least AJ tries. Like swimming up river, though. *

JOHN CENA & RYBACK & DOLPH ZIGGLER & THE BIG SHOW & ERICK ROWAN vs. RUSEV & MARK HENRY & SETH ROLLINS & KANE & LUKE HARPER: This match, literally, was an hour long (granted, the opening package and entrances took over ten minutes and the post-match meltdown was about five). It was a typical RAW main event until the end. Mark Henry got KO'd and pinned by The Big Show to start the match...which makes no sense since later The Big Show KO'd his own teammate, John Cena, and then shook HHH's hand. Rusev jumped through the Spanish announce table and got counted out. Ziggler was the lone good guy left and won thanks to Sting coming out and helping him after Sting gave HHH the Death Drop or whatever his finisher is called. HHH knocked out a few refs to prevent Ziggler from winning and Sting saved the day. This means HHH and Stephanie are out as RAW's evil bosses. Good. This was a mediocre match. Good finish, though. Really, for a free ppv (the WWE Network numbers were so bad that they decided to give everyone this show for free which would have helped if the ppv wasn't awful) you'd think they'd try and showcase the best of WWE to get new subscribers. This was the worst ppv I've seen in years. Good ending but...like putting lipstick on a pig, no? **