WRESTLEMANIA 35

East Rutherford, New Jersey

TONY NESE vs. BUDDY MURPHY (10:40): My God was this show too fucking long. It started at 5 and ended at 12:30 AM. Will these idiots just split this show into two parts already? Or, you know, just cut the matches in half? Or something? Because every match after the Bryan/Kofi match was a boring slog with a tired, dead crowd that just wanted to go home. Seven and a half hours. This show was seven and a half hours long! Are you kidding me? I think next year I might just watch it in two hour installments in replays throughout the week. This opener was good, though, even though the stadium was half empty and few cared. Buddy Murphy needs to get out of this company ASAP. He's too good to be wasted on 205Live, a show nobody watches or cares about. Murphy is good enough to be WWE champ yet that'll never happen. This was action packed and a lot of fun. Put this in front of a small crowd in a bingo hall and it'd be like four stars. ***

WOMEN'S BATTLE ROYAL (CARMELLA) (10:30): Ugh. Now we're going to have to sit through two battle royals on WrestleMania from now on? It's bad enough they ruined the Royal Rumble by having two Rumbles that just negate each other. I think it's good that the women are getting their due and all that but two of the same thing on a show doesn't work it just drags them both down. I totally forget what even happened in this match. 1/2*

CURT HAWKINS & ZACK RYDER vs. THE REVIVAL (13:20): This was actually a fairly decent match. Hawkins was apparently a guy that had never won before so he won here and it was supposed to be a big moment. The problem is that like 99% of his matches were on Superstars or some WWE show I never watch or heard of and so his losing streak was kind of mysteriously obscure. **1/2

ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL (BRAUN STROWMAN) (10:20): Colin Jost and Che Michaels, from Saturday Night Live, were in this match. Eventually Strowman eliminated them to win. That was amusing. **

SETH ROLLINS vs. BROCK LESNAR (2:30): I figured they put this on first because they knew the crowd would be dead later on. If that was the case...why was it only a 2 minute match? Lesnar beat the shit out of him then Rollins hit him with a low blow then three Curb Stomps and won. This was not very good at all. This is supposed to be a big deal: a title match on the biggest show of the year. Why put it on first and only give it 2 minutes? Epic fail. *

AJ STYLES vs. RANDY ORTON (16:20): This was by the numbers and forgettable. The last time Orton was in a good match was when he was feuding with Christian like fifteen years ago. *

THE USO'S vs. RICOCHET & ALEISTER BLACK vs. RUSEV & SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. CESARO & SHEAMUS (10:10): This was good but kind of felt just like a random RAW match. Ricochet is so good that it's a shame that they're just putting him in tag team matches. He's a fucking star! Give him main event singles matches. **1/2

SHANE McMAHON vs. THE MIZ "FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE" (15:30): Of course The Miz's dad ended up in the ring. Shane eventually beat him down. Then Shane and Miz did a brawl through the crowd that went on forever. The Miz eventually suplexed Shane off of a camera scaffold about twenty or thirty feet high and they fell onto an extremely lame cushion pad set up thing. Shane landed on Miz and the ref counted three. This was not one of those crazy, awesome Shane matches of old. The Miz did finally do a big, suicidal move at the end there. This was just okay. **

THE ICONICS vs. BETH PHOENIX & NATALYA vs. NIA JAX & TAMINA vs. BAYLEY & SASHA BANKS  (10:45): This match wasn't very good. It's a shame that Sasha isn't in singles matches anymore because she's one of if not the best women's wrestler on the main roster. 1/2*

KOFI KINGSTON vs. DANIEL BRYAN (23:45): This was the best match of the night and probably the only big deal WrestleMania moment type of match. It wasn't a great match in the ring or anything but the crowd was super hot for this and it made the match more dramatic. Kingston is the champ...which, let's face it, is going to go nowhere. Bryan looked like a star as usual. Good match. ***

SAMOA JOE vs. REY MYSTERIO (1:00): Mysterio injured his knee so that's why this was a quick match. Nothing to see here...what was the point? 1/2*

ROMAN REIGNS vs. DREW McINTYRE (10:10): This was perhaps the worst match on the show simply because it was boring and nobody cared about it and they did absolutely nothing interesting.
-No Stars-

JOHN CENA and ELIAS: Cena did make a surprise appearance. Elias was in the ring doing a song and Cena came out to his old school entrance music and doing his old, white rapper gimmick. It was great, actually. The crowd loved it. Cena also looked better with a hat on so we didn't have to see his stupid, new haircut and bald spot that makes him look like an old man.

HHH vs. BATISTA "NO HOLDS BARRED" (24:45): Triple H used pliers to rip out Batista's nose ring. The only other semi-interesting thing was Triple H's Mad Max entrance. They did a bunch of slams on the announce tables and they wouldn't break. After the Kofi match the crowd was tired and bored and this match was a total slog for everyone. Ric Flair showed up to distract Batista and he got hit by HHH with a sledgehammer and lost. *

BARON CORBIN vs. KURT ANGLE (6:05): Angle lost his retirement match. What a way to end a career! 1/2*

FINN BALOR vs. BOBBY LASHLEY (4:05): It was approaching midnight when this match was on. Can you guess that nobody gave a shit about this? What is wrong with this company? Why put on a seven and a half hour show? Don't they realize they're putting on all of these matches that nobody wants to see this late? How dumb are they? This was nothing. Finn did his demon entrance gimmick. Eh. 1/2*

BECKY LYNCH vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. RONDA ROUSEY (21:30): This was very brutal. They broke a table in the ring even though this wasn't a hardcore match or no DQ or anything. Becky Lynch's hair looked ridiculous. It was very sloppy and I kept thinking that this would have been better if it had just been a one on one match. The finish was one of those lame, out of nowhere pins that certainly made the winner look like a cheater. Rousey was ready to pick up and slam Lynch but then Lynch rolled up Rousey for a quick 1-2-3 and it was surprisingly over just like that. Way to build up Lynch's big win, guys. Maybe if this show wasn't so long this might have been better but at this point (twenty or so minutes after midnight) everyone just wanted to go home or go to bed. Flair had an interesting entrance where she arrived in a helicopter. Rousey supposedly injured her hand in this. Flair and Lynch had a much better match last year at that Evolution ppv. This was good but not great and, honestly, this was one of the worst WrestleMania's in recent memory. **1/2

ROH/NJPW G1 SUPERCARD

New York City

HONOR RUMBLE (KENNY KING) (42:21): So this was a huge show in a lot of ways. It was Ring of Honor's biggest show because it was at Madison Square Garden, albeit it was a co-brand show with New Japan. Ring of Honor went all out by having a bunch of title changes and introducing new people and storylines. New Japan's main title and Jr. title changed hands. There wasn't necessarily a match of the year on the show, and the lengthy time of the show was bad, but it was a hell of a wild show. It felt like they were just throwing the kitchen sink at us since they had such a big stage and wanted to use it for all that it was worth. I enjoyed this show more than WrestleMania in a lot of ways, although Ring of Honor seems to have turned into TNA tonight...which might help them in the short term to get people talking and eyebrows raised...but probably won't help them in the long term since they used to be known for quality wrestling instead of stupid gimmicks and storylines. The fact of the matter is, with AEW getting a two hour live TV show on cable in October...Ring of Honor might not exist in a few years. As for this match, this was a pre-show Royal Rumble type of a match with all of the stars not in real matches. We got Ishii and Suzuki and Cheeseburger. The Great Muta and Jushin Thunder Liger were the last two and the crowd was frenzied to see this epic, old school bout. Then Kenny King, who had rolled out of the ring earlier, came in and tossed both of them out and won. Forty two minutes is too fucking long, though, and Suzuki's theme song, "Kaze Ni Nare," wasn't played on TV for some unknown reason. **

JEFF COBB vs. WILL OSPREAY (12:52): Ospreay wrestled Suzuki at another show on Friday and broke his nose. He also wrestled Bandido at another show and that match was apparently fantastic. So perhaps Ospreay was just beat up because this match was good but not the awesome clash we hoped for. Cobb is a beast and awesome, though, and I think it's only a matter of time before he's ROH champ. He won Ospreay's NEVER title here and kept his own TV title. **1/2

RUSH vs. DALTON CASTLE (0:15): So Rush did his running kick to the face on Castle a few times and pinned him quickly. Then Castle beat up The Boys post-match and turned heel. I suppose a long, regular match would have been dull, so this was fine. I'm not sure a heel Castle would work, but he's been injured and lost for awhile now so maybe a new gimmick may work. **

KELLY KLEIN vs. MAYU IWATANI (10:38): Ugh. Even the world's best women's wrestler can't look good against Klein. Klein won the women's title here and then The Beautiful People, those girls from TNA, came out to form a new heel group, Allure, and beat up Klein. This was the first in a few moments where Ring of Honor slowly morphed into a weird, Vince Russo esque TNA type of company tonight. Granted, by losing The Young Bucks, Cody, Adam Page, SoCal Uncensored, and having to compete with the uber hot AEW, they kind of had to do or try something. Turning into TNA isn't really a good move but I guess they're at least attempting something. 1/2*

FLIP GORDON, JUICE ROBINSON & MARK HASKINS vs. BULLY RAY, SHANE TAYLOR & SILAS YOUNG (15:01): This was a typical, ECW style mayhem match with Singapore Canes and people falling all over the place. Sometimes that kind of thing is entertaining as hell and sometimes it doesn't entirely work. It didn't work here. *1/2

DRAGON LEE vs. TAJI ISHIMORI vs. BANDIDO (8:54): Well this was the match of the night. Of course it was. Lee won the NJPW Jr. title from Ishimori here, which is kind of a surprise since Dragon Lee doesn't technically wrestle for either ROH or New Japan. It kind of says a lot about New Japan's Jr. division that a wrestler from CMLL is now the champ. Kushida went to the WWE, Hiromu broke his neck and is out, and Ospreay moved up to heavyweight...so the division is a little thin. This match was great, though. Probably too short but all action. ***1/2

GUERRILLAS OF DESTINY vs. BRODY KING & PCO vs. THE BRISCOE BROTHERS (9:54):
The star of this match was PCO as usual. His entrance was a Frankenstein's monster is alive schtick where he was in an electric chair being shocked and he broke free from his chains. During the match, The Guerrillas picked up PCO and threw him out of the ring, over the top rope, onto his back onto the floor in what was a sort of power bomb and one of the sickest bumps I have ever seen. Seriously, the crowd went ape shit for that move and it was memorable but the dude's gonna be in a wheelchair yesterday if he keeps that up. This was action packed but wasn't exceptional or anything. The Guerrillas won the ROH tag titles and kept their NJPW titles here. After this match, Enzo Amore and Big Cass ran out of the crowd and The Briscoes ran over and they all started brawling. None of this was on TV, though, as they attempted to shoot it as if it was for real and not an angle. That at least got people talking, although it wasn't good for them that a real run in happened on the same night when a fan rushed into the ring at the WWE's Hall of Fame show and tackled Bret Hart while he was giving a speech. And while Enzo and Cass in Ring of Honor might get some buzz...does anyone really want to see those two wrestle anymore? **1/2

HIROSHI TANAHASHI vs. ZACK SABRE, JR. (15:14): Tanahashi supposedly legit hurt himself during this match. Sabre, Jr. retained the REVPro title. This was pretty boring, actually. Tanahashi had some great matches in the last year but he always looks like he can barely walk these days. Maybe some time off is for the best. *1/2

KOTA IBUSHI vs. TETSUYA NAITO (20:53): This was about as good as their match a few week's ago during the New Japan Cup. As usual they just did a bunch of sick moves landing on their heads. Ibushi did a standing on the second rope suplex on Naito from outside the ring to inside the ring and Naito landed right on his head, it was brutal. This never reached the level of super intense New Japan matches which we've grown to love...but maybe you can blame the U.S. crowd. It's a different crowd, one that gets tired after watching a five plus hour show. For whatever reason, Japanese crowds don't get tired late at their shows. Those fucking masochists. ***

MATT TAVEN vs. JAY LETHAL vs. MARTY SCURLL "LADDER MATCH" (29:35): Maybe Scurll is going to AEW? Why else did he not win the title here? He also lost the title at this same show last year. Taven is a Ring of Honor original, though, so I guess they wanted to keep the title in house, so to speak. Who knows? The crowds usually hate Taven. Even Ring of Honor realized this so they put him in a sixty minute match last month to showcase that he's for real. This was entertaining but a regular, one-on-one match probably would have been better. We got all the usual, sick ladder bumps and wrestlers walking around building stuff and bridging ladders. Taven pulled out a taller, purple ladder late which reminded me of both Vince Russo stupidity and TNA stupidity. I enjoyed this match, though, even though a lot of people hated it. I will say, it was a lot better than the main event. ***

KAZUCHIKA OKADA vs. JAY WHITE (32:33): These two had a hell of great match at Wrestle Kingdom this year. This match was not nearly as good. Maybe because it was twice as long. Maybe it was because it ended at midnight and the U.S. crowd was tired and ready to go home. Or maybe it was because Jay White isn't that good and him being champion was a mistake. This match was supposed to be Omega vs. Okada 5. So yes, of course it was disappointing that we got White/Okada instead. White just won the title in February, which means he lost in his first defense. White is a good heel but not particularly a good wrestler. He doesn't do anything flashy; no high flying, no brutal/sadistic moves. He's kind of by the numbers. And while by the end this was somewhat dramatic...it never really turned into anything great. Maybe a hot Japanese crowd would have helped this, who knows? White did kick out of a Rainmaker...but even that didn't really get the big pop or crowd shock expected. The big question now is....will White ever get that big push again? Or was this it for him? Honestly, I never want to see him as champ again. **1/2