Saturday, March 16, 2019

ROH 17TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

Sunrise Manor, Nevada


MARTY SCURLL vs. KENNY KING (12:45): This was the first PPV for the "new" Ring of Honor. The "new" ROH is a company without it's biggest draw, The Young Bucks, plus Christopher Daniels, Kazarian, and Scorpio Sky of SoCal Uncensored, and Hangman Page. I'd say they did all right, as this was a good show. Marty Scurll is the one Elite/Bullet Club member to not jump ship and head to All Elite Wrestling. I guess it's because he's the one dude from the U.K., so maybe he still lives there and that's why he stayed with ROH and NJPW. Who knows? But it looks like they might be giving him the title at the MSG show next month, so maybe it's good that he stayed. Or not. The ROH title isn't exactly a big deal these days, although they tried really hard tonight to make it out to be. This opener was pretty pedestrian. Kenny King is athletic but boring. Scurll is a crowd favorite so at least the fans were alive for this (usually, at least at the house shows, these Ring of Honor shows take place amidst a silent tomb of dead crowds). Not really much to this. *1/2

JEFF COBB vs. SHANE TAYLOR (13:30): Good match. There's a reason Vince McMahon likes and pushes big, muscle guys. When two big, muscle dudes fight it sometimes is very impressive and entertaining. These two big guys did big, power moves and everything made the ring shake and the crowd was into it. Cobb is awesome. He's definitely ROH championship material, as he's big and strong but does standing, backwards flips and has a great finisher and the crowd likes him. Taylor usually sucks but he brought his A game tonight. Cobb retained the TV title and called out Will Ospreay in a title for title match at MSG next month (Ospreay has the pointless and stupid NEVER title in New Japan). ***

MAYU IWATANI vs. KELLY KLEIN (9:00): Iwatani is, supposedly, the best women's wrestler in Japan these days (she wrestles in Stardom, the all women wrestling company that I've sadly never watched but probably should). She definitely is light years better than Klein, who is more of a brute force type of wrestler. ROH just started the women's division so it's hard to bitch about it but so far it sucks. Iwatani retained the title. 1/2*

JAY LETHAL vs. MATT TAVEN (60:00): This was supposed to be the main event. And, no, that match time isn't a typo. This match went to a sixty minute draw. That definitely made this a more interesting and better match than it probably would have been if it was just a random, thirty minute main event. Taven came out and called out Lethal and said he wanted Lethal right here and right now. So they did the main event early. Everyone was suspect and wondered why this was going on early. It turned out to be for two reasons. One, a time limit draw to end a show is pretty lame, right? Even though New Japan did that two years ago when Omega/Okada went to a sixty minute draw. The other reason was that these ROH ppv's are still on cable so they have a three hour window. They didn't want to have to go long or be forced to cut the match short or anything (the show still ended up going fifteen minutes past midnight anyway). I love being surprised, and you rarely if ever see an hour long match come out of nowhere (before Okada and Omega did it, the last time I remember seeing an hour long match was probably one of those WWE Iron Man matches from fifteen or so years ago). I wasn't even checking the time of this match so I didn't even realize they had actually gone that long. That probably tells you that it was a good match then. I figured it was long because they kept kicking out of each other's finishers and I was thinking, man, this is going pretty long. They also didn't just do a standard match. They broke a table. Lethal did an elbow off the top rope through a ladder (Taven moved off of it). Taven's goons from The Kingdom ran out and then Jonathan Gresham, Mark Haskins, and Tracy Williams ran out and they all brawled and then eventually all left. By the end there were one-thousand near falls, which was getting a bit ridiculous. After the match ended in a draw, Marty Scurll came down and took the title and left. This all sets up a ladder title match at MSG with Scurll, Lethal, and Taven. The one thing to come out of this is that Taven definitely got some new found respect by the crowd. To go sixty minutes and not bore the hell out of the audience is a lofty goal to achieve. This wasn't a great match but it was a good match and one of the better ROH title matches in recent memory. And it was definitely memorable. ***

RUSH vs. BANDIDO (15:00): Good God. Try to follow a sixty minute match. Well they did. And the crowd adores Bandido. Rush is, at least personality wise, a true star. I've never been the biggest fan of his wrestling ability, but he definitely oozes charisma like Razor Ramon did. This was fun but nothing particularly special. Bandido did a bunch of high flying shit. Dalton Castle did commentary and then challenged Rush for a match at MSG. **1/2

PCO & BRODY KING vs. THE BRISCOE BROTHERS "LAS VEGAS STREET FIGHT" (19:44): PCO is a 51 year old French Canadian that does Swanton Bombs off the top rope onto the ring apron. Which means he's a crowd favorite but will probably be dead or in a wheelchair in ten years. So while it's always great to see his matches it's also hard to watch. Brody King sucks, though, so that didn't help this match. They used chairs, tables, and Singapore Canes. One of the Briscoe Brothers was a bloody mess halfway through this and by the end everyone was covered in blood. This was a classic, ECW style brawl...if that's your thing. PCO and King won the tag titles here and will face The Guerrillas of Destiny at MSG in a titles vs. titles match (the Guerrillas have the NJPW tag titles). This wasn't spectacular or anything but it was an entertaining car crash of a match, albeit a bit too sloppy. **1/2

Sunday, March 10, 2019

WWE FAST LANE

Cleveland


THE NEW DAY vs. RUSEV & SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (13:20): I watched the main event of today's New Japan show, which was Day 3 of the New Japan Cup (which is basically like the NCAA March Madness tournament), after this show. It was Ibushi vs. Naito and it was awesome. I'm only mentioning this to note that there is actual great wrestling occurring in the world...somewhere. This match, which featured The New Day minus Kofi Kingston, was the pre-show match at Fastlane, a pointless show if there ever was one. This was fairly entertaining, as The New Day are usually in entertaining matches. It sure doesn't bode well for Nakamura's career in the WWE that he's not teaming up on random teams on pre-show matches and losing. **1/2

THE USO'S vs. THE MIZ & SHANE McMAHON (14:10): During the pre-show, Shane and The Miz met The Miz's dad backstage (this show was in Cleveland, the Miz's hometown). Considering the WWE loves to humiliate and destroy people in their hometown, I called a Shane heel turn and it happened! Not that it wasn't obvious. Shane's heel turn was supposed to come out of him winning that stupid "Best Wrestler in the World" tournament in Saudi Arabia and Smackdown losing every match at Survivor Series. Well they finally pulled the plug and Shane beat up The Miz after they lost the match. The Miz's dad was watching this all at ringside. The problem is...The Miz is not a good face outside of Cleveland. So if Shane wrestles The Miz at WrestleMania than everyone is going to cheer Shane. As for this match before the not-shocking heel turn...it was just okay. There was an awkward moment when Shane and one of the Uso's both jumped off opposite top ropes and Shane sort of kicked him in the shin or leg and they fell down. Ugh. I'm not sure what the fuck they were trying to do. The heel turn was at least amusing. **

ASUKA vs. MANDY ROSE (6:40): Rose is one of those pretty blondes that can't wrestle, yet Vince is a pervert and thinks pretty women should be on TV so we end up with this atrocious botch fest.
-No Stars-

SHEAMUS & CAESARO vs. KOFI KINGSTON (5:15): Kofi was supposed to wrestle Daniel Bryan tonight for the title. Vince replaced Kofi with Kevin Owens because, apparently, Vince thinks the old evil boss gimmick will boost ratings (hey, it worked in the late 90's!). So tonight, Vince fucked Kofi again by putting him against two men and then later putting Mustafa Ali instead of Kofi into the championship match. I suppose it worked to push Kofi since the Cleveland crowd did chant for Kofi during the championship match later on. It's still a dumb, been-there-done-that storyline, though. And this squash match had no right to be on this show. And since this was an unannounced match out of nowhere and Mustafa Ali was not supposed to wrestle...this show felt different than usual. It felt reminiscent of WCW when Vince Russo was at the helm. Jeff Jarrett and Dana Warrior have apparently been brought on board the writing team and it definitely felt like somebody new was writing this. Instead of just a bunch of wrestling matches we had all kinds of unannounced crap and run-ins and out of nowhere, on the fly appearances. We all know how Vince Russo era WCW ended up, of course. -No Stars-

THE REVIVAL vs. ALEISTER BLACK & RICOCHET vs. CHAD GABLE & BOBBY ROODE (10:50): This was a good match, though with all of this talent (minus Roode, who sucks), I thought that this would be a hell of a lot better. I'm still not sure why Ricochet is teaming up with Aleister Black, nor why they're pushing a team that asked for their release (The Revival asked and were rejected then given the titles and a push). The Revival retained their tag titles. **1/2

SOMOA JOE vs. R. TRUTH vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. ANDRADE (10:50): Good match. Andrade Cien Almas is now just Andrade. He also supposedly told some Mexican wrestlers not to come to WWE recently. I wonder why? Joe retained the U.S. title. As in any four way, this helped in that it was pretty much all action. I'm still not entirely sure why R. Truth is still in this company. **1/2

BAYLEY & SASHA BANKS vs. NIA JAX & TAMINA (7:05): I mentioned that this show felt like it was written by fresh faces. Case in point: after this match, Nia Jax and Tamina beat up Beth Phoenix, who was doing commentary. Then Natalya ran out to save her. The show definitely felt over-written, if that makes sense. If you remember, Vince Russo was the king of over-written shows. I think the reason simple is better is because eventually too much plot and run-ins and craziness just overwhelms and gets ridiculous. This match was pretty stale, anyway, and nothing was going to save it. Bayley and Banks retained the tag titles. *

DANIEL BRYAN vs. MUSTAFA ALI vs. KEVIN OWENS (18:45): Really good match. Thank Mustafa Ali, who wrestles like he's in PWG, not WWE. The gimmick here was that they teased the crowd that this match, originally set to be Bryan vs. Owens for the title, would be a three way. So the assumption was Kofi would come out. But no, evil Vince sent out Mustafa Ali, who's a good guy, anyway, so that's stupid. Ali was supposed to be in the Elimination Chamber last month but suffered a concussion so they threw in Kofi and then the crowd loved it so everything changed. So that's why Ali was in this....because he originally lost his shot and so deserved it. Ali did a bunch of crazy stuff, including a nuts 450 splash from the top rope to Bryan on the ring apron. This was perhaps Daniel Bryan's best match since returning a year ago. Owens was returning from injury and he didn't impress too much. I'm still not entirely sure if he's supposed to be a good guy or a bad guy. Bryan won and in the end they really should have just done the original Kofi vs. Bryan match. ***

BECKY LYNCH vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR (8:45): Lynch was on crutches. She had to beat Flair to be in the main event of WrestleMania. For no reason, Ronda Rousey showed up and caused a DQ and Lynch to win by DQ. Why would Rousey want to face two women at WrestleMania instead of one? Who the fuck knows? It makes zero sense. And the end of this was awful. 1/2*

THE SHIELD vs. BARON CORBIN, BOBBY LASHLEY & DREW McINTYRE (24:50): Dean Ambrose is leaving after WrestleMania because his contract is up. Roman Reigns returned from battling leukemia so they had one last Shield match. I guess a reunited Shield match is a big deal. The last time they tried this they had to add Kurt Angle to The Shield because Reigns had an infection. It still felt like a RAW main event, though. Would it fucking kill the champion, Brock Lesnar, to wrestle on every ppv? Jesus. And why is Baron Corbin still wrestling in a dress shirt and pants? Guy looks like he's at the polo club or something. McIntyre sucks, Lashley is God-awful. Seth Rollins did a dive off some random stage amidst the crowd. This was semi-entertaining but mostly boring. So it goes. **