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TYSON KIDD & CESARO vs. THE NEW DAY vs. LOS MATADORES vs. THE USOS: This year's Wrestlemania got good reviews across the board...but I'm not sure is says a lot when the best match of the entire show was the first one on the pre-show (and, really, since there were two matches on the pre-show and it started at 6 PM and the whole show ended at exactly 11 PM...that means it was five hours long and way too long). I can't even describe everything that happened in this match...only that everyone was all over the place and it was a fucking spectacle. It didn't have any drama in terms of meaningful titles or big stars or anything but in terms of wrestling this was the most exciting and entertaining match on the show. Really. ***1/2 (out of ****)
THE ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL (THE BIG SHOW): This got good at the end when Mizdow turned on The Miz and tossed him out of the ring...leading to The Big Show eliminating him. Huh? The crowd loves Mizdow...so why not give him a fucking victory? Jesus. And, sadly, it only got worse because Triple H also won for no good reason. **1/2
DANIEL BRYAN vs. WADE BARRETT vs. R-TRUTH vs. DEAN AMBROSE vs. LUKE HARPER vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. STARDUST "LADDER MATCH": This was entertaining and had the right ending. There weren't a lot of crazy ladder moves but it was still thrilling. The big spot had Harper power-bombing Ambrose over the top-rope and onto a ladder bridge at ringside. The ladder cracked in half and Ambrose folded up like a pretzel and hit his head hard, so much so that he left the match (he did wrestle on RAW...so I guess he's okay). Bryan wins the IC title here. Last year he was in the main event winning the main title. Eh. Don't get me started. ***
RANDY ORTON vs. SETH ROLLINS: This was a basic match but the finish was amazing. Rollins went for the Curb Stomp and Orton lifted up his head which threw Rollins into the air and Orton got up and RKO'd him in mid-air then pinned him. A finish for the ages. Too bad the rest of the match wasn't as good. And Rollins, who lost, ended up the WWE Champion. Okay... **
TRIPLE H vs. STING: It wasn't all that great...until DX (Road Dogg, X-Pac, and Billy Gunn) came out. Then the NWO (Hogan, Hall, and Nash) came out. The two factions traded fake punches. HHH brought out a sledgehammer. Sting broke the hammer in two with his bat. HHH pinned Sting. Then they shook hands. This just reminded me of why CM Punk quit the company. If you remember, he quit after The Royal Rumble last year and apparently he was scheduled to face HHH at last year's Wrestlemania. HHH is obvious an ego-maniac. It seems like he always schedules himself to win or face opponents that are popular just, apparently, to make himself look better. So I guess it wasn't a surprise that he won here. It's just baffling. Sting might never wrestle again. So why not give him one last big moment? Jesus. **1/2
AJ LEE & PAIGE vs. THE BELLA TWINS: Fairly dull. The Diva's division is just a fucking quagmire of despair. It can't be hard. NXT and Impact figured it out. *
JOHN CENA vs. RUSEV: The entrance was cool...Rusev came out in a tank. The match? Not so cool. They had a better match last month. Cena wins the U.S. title. Groan. *1/2
THE ROCK & RONDA ROUSEY vs. TRIPLE H & STEPHANIE MCMAHON: This segment was cool but went on way too long. Like, forever. HHH and Steph came out for no good reason and then The Rock came out and started talking but mostly just paused to listen to the crowd. Then Stephanie said that The Rock would never hit a woman so The Rock went to ringside where UFC Women's Champion Ronda Rousey was standing. The Rock and Rousey entered the ring and eventually The Rock fake punched HHH and Rousey flipped HHH to the ground (takedown!) and Rousey put Steph in a lame arm bar and that was it. The Rock did do SNL on Saturday Night so perhaps he was jet-lagged. He didn't say a lot and the segment dragged but, yeah, it was cool to see Rousey there.
THE UNDERTAKER vs. BRAY WYATT: There were a lot of reasons why this match didn't work. The biggest was that The Streak is over. The other reason is that The Undertaker is too old to be doing this. Add Bray Wyatt, a mediocre wrestler, to the mix and you get a bad, boring, lame match. It wasn't awful. They did the usual kick-out-of-each other's-finishers ending which was the only time it was semi-watchable. And The Undertaker's entrance is always cool...but, yeah, it's time to retire, dude. *1/2
BROCK LESNAR vs. ROMAN REIGNS (vs. SETH ROLLINS): Reigns isn't a very good wrestler. This is fairly obvious to everyone since they didn't have him do a lot here. What we got was a 75% beat down by Brock followed by a miraculous comeback followed by a Seth Rollins MITB cash in and victory. This makes sense. If Brock won then there probably wouldn't be a PPV main event for the title until Summerslam. If Reigns won then who would he face next month for the title? Orton is a good guy and Rollins had the MITB contract so nothing would make sense. So the smart choice was to give Rollins the title and he'll probably feud with Reigns while Lesnar sits at home collecting money. For what it's worth, this was a very good main event at the end. The middle of it, a one-sided beat-down, was fairly dull but the wild finish was stellar and the opening minute brawl was fun. It's a little too bad Rollins cashed in because the back-and-forth drama at the end was pretty exciting stuff (there isn't anything quite like the final 5 minute flurry of a big title main event) and it would have been nice to see a clean finish. Good ending nonetheless, though. ***
