East Rutherford, NJ
HORNSWOGGLE vs. TORITO "WEELC MATCH": The match of the night. And it was free on the pre-show. This was a midget tlc match. So little tables, chairs, ref, and announcers. Hilarity ensues. The three little announcers sat at a small desk that Hornswoggle put Torito through. The announcers were Jerry Smaller, JB Elf, and Micro Cole. Whoever wrote that needs to put more of that creativity into the rest of the show. 3MB and Los Matadores eventually got in the mix and went through big tables and ladders at ringside. Yes, this was a farce but hugely entertaining. ***
JACK SWAGGER vs. RVD vs. CESARO: Eh. Cesaro had a great match on NXT awhile back but hasn't been as good on the main shows. Swagger is dull, RVD is good but been-there-done-that. An okay opener. **
ALEXANDER RUSEV vs. R. TRUTH & XAVIER WOODS: A squash. Funny that Rusev's lady friend put Vladimir Putin's picture on the Titantron and lauded him to the crowd. Other than that...1/2*
BIG E. vs. BAD NEWS BARRETT: A new IC champ! Who cares? Barrett is at least amusing on the mic, but both guys are pretty boring in the ring. Big E. did a dive through the rope and tackled Barrett off the apron and onto the floor. That was cool. *
THE SHIELD vs. EVOLUTION: Good match. Seth Rollins did a New Jack dive off a balcony and onto HHH and Orton. That was wild. Batista got pinned. Funny how Rollins, the one not being pushed, is turning out to be the true star. **1/2
BRAY WYATT vs. JOHN CENA "CAGE MATCH": Ugh. The two members of The Wyatt Family not in the match both climbed the cage, interfered, and were basically in the match. The lights went out, returned, and a child in a robe on the mic at the cage door sang a line from the song, "He got the whole world in his hands," and Cena, momentarily confused, got Wyatt's finisher and then Wyatt left the cage. Stupid ending. *1/2
PAIGE vs. TAMINA: Women's matches are dull. Paige is chalk-white, young, and hot...but for the love of god, give them ladders, tables, or something to entertain us. 1/2*
KANE vs. DANIEL BRYAN: The writer's room was probably so baffled at how to make this good they said, "Do a flaming table!" So they did...the first time in WWE since Edge/Mick Foley at 'Mania, right? Kane lit the table at ringside on fire then climbed up on the apron and Bryan pushed him into it. Ringside guys put it out and then Kane, dazed, entered the ring, got a flying knee, and was pinned. They did cane shots, Bryan went through the announce table, and after backstage brawling, Bryan put Kane on a forklift and drove him to the ring then climbed up on the pallet on the forklift and dove off and delivered a flying headbutt. Most of this was terrible, though. Bad feud. **
