Sunday, May 17th, 2009 from Rosemont,
Illinois
Last year I said that the biggest
disappointment of the year in wrestling was the WWE giving up on the
undercard. They always promote the hell out of the main event matches
(now they have two title matches on every show). The undercard guys
are stuck with no storylines and in matches that are utterly
pointless. Well this show, at least wrestling wise, proved that
theory wrong. The first half of this show was good. The second half
was mostly awful. The reasons are obvious. CM Punk, Christian,
Shelton Benjamin, Chris Jericho, and John Morrison are all terrific,
exciting, entertaining wrestlers. The Big Show, John Cena, Randy
Orton and Edge (lately) are not.
This turned out to be a half good and
half bad show. But it at least proves that the WWE has a healthy
roster of stars ready to emerge. Let's hope that this summer they
finally break through.
UMAGA
vs. CM PUNK (11:54): CM Punk won the Money in the Bank Ladder match
at Wrestlemania. He was swiftly given to losing matches. Thanks.
Umaga is back. I guess they wanted to give him a new, healthy push.
This was a brutal and entertaining match. It wasn't shockingly good
or anything, but it worked. The finale had Umaga giving CM Punk the
thumb to the neck finisher and tossing him down to the mat like a rag
doll. CM Punk: remember when you were the champion? Yeah, I'm kind of
forgetting that myself. **1/2
CHRISTIAN
vs. JACK SWAGGER (9:35): Christian is a star. The crowd loves him. It
seems to be only a matter of time before the WWE relents and takes
him off the ECW show. Christian lept off the top rope and down onto
Swagger at ringside. Christian was all over the place. He's really
trying unlike <ahem> Cena, The Big Show, Orton. I could go on
and on. Swagger, meanwhile, kept to his ground game, submission
pummeling. Sadly, Swagger's “style” isn't going to get him over
in the WWE. He's a snooze to watch. This was a half-decent match,
though. Christian wins by pulling Swagger's tights to help pin him.
**
+JOHN
MORRISON vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN
(10:10): Morrison is a great wrestler. He's crazy, too. A lot of his
insane moves miss their mark, though, which means he probably won't
be in the main event of Summerslam anytime soon. Benjamin is also a
high flier and this match should have been utterly awesome. It
wasn't, but it was good. Morrison did a wild top-rope flip onto
Benjamin for the win. It was sloppy in spots (Morrison almost missed
an over the top rope somersault) but it was something fresh. **1/2
THE MIZ SEGMENT:
Real World's The Miz came out and mocked John Cena. Then he mocked
Alfonso Soriano of the Cubs. Then he beat up Santino. Then Chavo
Guerrero came out and frog-splashed Chavo. The Miz is a hardcore heel
but it comes off as trying too hard. Santino is hilarious. Why won't
they give him a bigger push already? This was amusing stuff. And
actually a lot more fun than a match between any of them would have
been. **1/2
+REY
MYSTERIO vs. CHRIS JERICHO
(12:38): This was a stellar match. The main event in my opinion, as
the rest of the show sucked. Rey was all over the place. Jericho put
Rey in the Walls of Jericho a few times. It was back and forth and a
tough, exciting match. This was for no title. There was no storyline
going on. What is wrong with the WWE? ***
BATISTA
vs. RANDY ORTON (14:43): This match was awful, awful stuff. HHH is on
the sidelines. They needed an Orton opponent. Batista is a beast but
also a walking tree-trunk of a wrestler. What this means is it was a
physical match but a slow, plodding one. The finish was horrendously
silly. Orton wanted to get a DQ and keep the title so he slapped the
referee. Match over. Terrible. ½*
+JOHN
CENA vs. THE BIG SHOW
(14:59): Did you think that the last match was terrible? This was a
lot worse. This might have been the worst match I have ever seen.
Yes, it was that bad. Last month at Backlash, The Big Show threw Cena
through an entranceway spotlight. Cena was hurt for this match
because of that. What this means is...for twelve minutes The Big Show
beat up Cena. It was so fucking boring. The crowd was ready to riot
(they would have if they weren't asleep). After twelve or so
ultra-slow minutes, Cena miraculously started to do things and then
won. Huh? I can't wait for their submission match next month. -No
Stars-
+EDGE
vs. JEFF HARDY (19:55): This was the main event. Jeff Hardy lost
after getting hit by Matt Hardy. Matt broke his arm last month at
Backlash and he's wearing a cast. Jeff was dazed after his brother
knocked him over. This led to Edge doing a really sick DDT from the
top rope on Jeff. This match was mediocre, actually. It was also a
little boring. Jeff Hardy did his usual high flying shit, but Edge
was monotonous. The finish was lame. Do we really need to see a third
Hardy vs. Hardy match? Not the epic main event we wanted. **
This show started off very good. Not
just the wrestling but also the writing. The writers assembled a good
lineup with a lot of possibilities. Shelton Benjamin vs. John
Morrison is a fucking dream match (granted, it only turned out to be
a little better than average). Mysterio vs. Jericho is a stellar
match on paper (it turned out to be a good one). Even Jeff Hardy vs.
Edge and Batista vs. Orton are two of the best title matches out
there with the WWE's current champs (really...who else could Edge or
Orton face and get the crowd and fans into it?). The problem with the
show was that the second half was boring. I will say that at least a
title didn't change hands. I'm sick of it.
So it was hit or miss for Judgment
Day, a show that I never remember being floored by (last year's
featured an awfully slow main event cage match between Orton and
HHH). Next up is ECW One Night Stand...which is now called WWE
Extreme Rules. There is only one good match on the show, but it could
turn out to be the match of the year. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge or the
title in a Ladder match. I can't wait.
