WWE CLASH IN PARIS

La Defense Arena, Paris

ROMAN REIGNS vs. BRONSON REED (22:07): This was the first time I watched a WWE PPV live in a really long time. It started at 2 PM on a Sunday and I had a cold so was basically laying on the couch anyway. The amount of commercials between matches is ludicrous. The show was 3 and 1/2 hours long with only six matches. I complain about all the commercials on college football, which started this weekend, but at least there's a good reason for that: they're on regular TV. This is a Pay Per View. We're paying to watch this. I have no idea what Peacock costs (I get it free because I have Xfinity), but it's probably around $10 a month. Why do we have to sit through twenty minutes of commercials between every match? I might've liked this show more if there wasn't so much dead time. And maybe that's the reason I thought to myself in the middle of watching this show: man, the WWE fucking sucks. They have big crowds at all of their shows now so they're certainly popular, but everything about this product feels stale, lifeless, sanitary, dull, and unexciting. Nothing about this show was truly bad, but it just feels boring right now. Are there any feuds that you care about now? The only match in the foreseeable future that I'm intrigued by is Brock Lesnar vs. Cena, and that puts a bad taste in my mouth because Lesnar is a part of Vince's sex trafficking lawsuit. I was so happy when Vince was finally gone from WWE because Triple H was supposedly a part of making NXT so great back in the day. He has not made the WWE better than Vince's product. RAW is a total bore now, filled with just as many commercials as it was on USA even though it's on Netflix, which costs like $17 a month. In some other universe, this match would've been fantastic. Roman Reigns has had good matches in the past and Bronson Reed used to be in New Japan (he beat Okada once...his claim to fame). But this match was mediocre at best. All of the entertaining stuff happened after the match. Roman won the match and was standing on the announce table celebrating. Bron Breakker came out of the crowd and speared Roman through the other announce table. Then Reed and Breakker beat up Roman. Jey Uso tried to make a save but was thwarted. Security ran out and medics put Roman on a stretcher but Reed still got up on the top  rope to give a splash onto Roman. This post-match melee was better than the actual match. The problem? Does anyone actually want to see a Roman vs. Bron Breakker match? I give them credit for trying to make new stars and build someone new up with Bron Breakker...but that would mean Roman Reigns would have to lose a match. He didn't here. I also kind of hope Paul Heyman retires soon, because as much as I like him, I'm really tired of his schtick these days. ** 

THE WYATT SICKS (DEXTER LUMIS & JOE GACY) vs. THE STREET PROFITS (ANGELO DAWKINS & MONTEZ FORD) (13:12): The problem with The Wyatt Sicks is the same problem that Bray Wyatt had. Their entrances are cool and the crowds like holding up their phones in the dark arenas, but when they start wrestling nobody cares. The Street Profits did some cool dives off the top rope. The crowd popped for those big moves. This arena was unique in that, unlike the indoor U.S. arenas, this one seats 30,000 people. All of the indoor basketball/hockey arenas only fit around 18,000. The crowd was good in that they chanted a lot and were loud for the stars. They didn't seem that into this or the next match, though. *1/2

BECKY LYNCH vs. NIKKI BELLA (13:06): Nikki looks great considering she's post-retired and older. I don't think she was ever a particularly great wrestler, though. The only massive botch was a kick off the top rope she delivered that was miles away from Becky and Becky didn't know if she should act like it hit her. Other than that, the match was fine but totally forgettable. Nikki still looks gorgeous, which is probably why they brought her back. 1/2*

RUSEV vs. SHEAMUS "GOOD OL' FASHIONED DONNYBROOK MATCH" (20:04): This was a hardcore match. It's really tough to watch these WWE "hardcore" matches when you see much better hardcore stuff every week in AEW and ROH. On Friday, ROH had a PPV at the ECW Arena. QT Marshall and the actor Paul Walter Hauser had a hardcore match that was actually much, much better than this match. There was a moment in that match when QT used a dustpan to pick up broken glass and cover a table with the glass, then gave Hauser a DDT from the top rope through the glass covered table. Hauser actually put QT on his shoulders and did a flip slam from the apron onto a ringside table. They also had blood, thumbtacks, and a barbed wire chair and barbed wire bat. This match had chairs, tables, a Singapore cane, a bar, and some barrels that they stood up on. I guess this is what you're going to get with hardcore WWE matches. Rusev was so adamant to getting out of AEW...I wonder if he's happy now? The match wasn't anything great but it held my interest. **1/2

JOHN CENA vs. LOGAN PAUL (26:24): Considering the Cena/Cody match at Summerslam was long, I guess Cena is now in the phase to have long matches before his retirement. 26 minutes doesn't sound that long, but this match felt like it went on forever. I used to really like Logan Paul's matches. I remember him doing a lot of crazy, high flying top rope maneuvers that were exciting and fresh. This match was fucking boring. Weren't Logan's entrances also pretty cool? He would come out on a zip line or come out flying a drone? Now he just walks out. Has he gotten stale in his old age? Heh. Dude's probably still in his 20's. I just looked it up. He's 30. Cena at least looks better in the ring lately. The second season of his show Peacemaker just started and it's fantastic...so it's probably good that he's retiring since his Hollywood career is so much more entertaining. Paul kicked out of an AA. Cena gave Paul a Styles clash (seriously, why is the Styles clash this legendary move now? Ospreay does it now and it always gets this gigantic pop). Hopefully Brock vs. Cena next month will be better. *1/2

SETH ROLLINS vs. CM PUNK vs. JEY USO vs. LA KNIGHT (24:49): This match was kind of underwhelming. The big story was that Becky Lynch came in wearing a mask at the end to prevent CM Punk from pinning Rollins. Everyone figures this is to set up CM Punk's wife, AJ Lee, returning and there being a mixed tag match between the couples. It makes sense to have Becky join Seth's heel group since Becky is a heel and literally Seth's wife in real life. It's something new at least. The only other interesting moment happened when LA Knight jumped off the top rope and went through the announce table (someone moved off it at the last minute). All of these wrestlers are pretty entertaining in ring, so I kind of thought this might be a lot better. The WWE is really in a slump these days, and I wonder what it's going to take to break out of it. **

AEW + NJPW FORBIDDEN DOOR

O2 Arena, London

EL DESPERADO, PARAGON (KYLE O'REILLY& RODERICK STRONG) & YUYA UEMURA vs. CRU (ACTION ANDRETTI & LIO RUSH) & THE DON CALLIS FAMILY (HECHICERO & JOSH ALEXANDER) (12:13): This was a really good show, as usual with these AEW PPV's. The only reason that this was in the smaller, inside 02 arena and not outside at Wembley is because, supposedly, Coldplay is doing a weekslong residency at Wembley that they booked years in advance. All In is returning next year this time at Wembley. They really packed every conceivable wrestler onto this pre-show, which was four matches. None of these pre-show matches were particularly memorable, although none of them were bad since they were short and pretty much all action. The crowd in London was pretty good as usual, doing chants, singing songs, etc. Yua Uemura is one of the new guys in New Japan. I watched the entire G1 last year and thought he was one of the better wrestlers of the new bunch, yet it still looks like they're still afraid to push him. Shota Umino, who main evented the Tokyo Dome show earlier this year, wasn't even on this show. Gabe Kidd is one of the newer NJPW stars that seemed to get the biggest push on this show, being in the main event and taking part in the big cage fall moment with Darby. It is weird that AEW has so many wrestlers that are barely pushed and barely wrestle. Maybe they should prune their roster. This match was fun while it lasted. **1/2

GATES OF AGONY (BISHOP KAUN & TOA LIONA) & RICOCHET vs. JET SPEED (KEVIN KNIGHT & MIKE BAILEY) & MICHAEL OKU (9:54): Jet Speed have been a pretty exciting tag team since they put them together earlier this year. They started off as singles wrestlers but just threw them together for no real reason. Ricochet seems to have fallen back into his WWE trap. He's now just a B-wrestler on the undercard. He's fantastic as a heel, very amusing, plus the crowds everywhere chant that he's bald and love reacting to him...but he's lightyears from the main event title picture. Considering he's an exciting, great wrestler, that's a problem. They did at least give him a storyline during this show when he interfered during the tag team match and will be feuding with The Hurt Syndicate. The one thing I remember from this match is Michael Oku going for a top rope dive and being pushed by one of the Gates of Agony members over the top rope and down to the floor. Oku almost landed on his head. There were a few other spots after that where Oku looked sloppy and was falling onto the mat like a rag doll. Maybe that's why he's still in RevPro and not, like, AEW or WWE? Because he's kind of a sloppy wrestler? Match was good. **1/2

MEGAN BAYNE & TRIANGLE OF MADNESS (JULIA HART, SKY BLUE & THEKLA) vs. HARLEY CAMERON, KRIS STATLANDER, QUEEN AMINATA & WILLOW NIGHTINGALE (11:17): Thekla is a new wrestler in AEW. They put her with Julia Hart and Sky Blue and named the trio Triangle of Madness. Every time I hear that name I think of that movie Triangle of Sadness. The one that won the Palm D'or at Cannes. Anyway, Harley Cameron is back from a broken nose. The crowds are still cheering for her. Willow seemed like a break out star recently but they really haven't done much with her. Queen Aminata had her backpack stolen in London and was stuck in the country until she could get a new passport. If I want a passport wouldn't it take me like six months? What, is she going to have to live over there? Match was fine. Thekla and Aminata brawled to the back and later on (after the Sabre/McGuiness match) came back out still brawling. **

THE OPPS (KATSUYORI SHIBATA, POWERHOUSE HOBBS & SOMOA JOE) vs. BULLET CLUB WAR DOGS (CLARK CONNORS, DRILLA MALONEY & ROBBIE X) (10:00): Samoa Joe got some of the biggest cheers of anyone all night (I think Tanahashi actually might've got the most). The War Dogs looked really good here. I guess because they're in New Japan and wrestle more often. Match was short but entertaining. **1/2

ADAM COPELAND & CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. THE MATRIARCHY (KILLSWITCH & KIP SABIAN) (13:46): Edge came to AEW in October of 2023. It took almost two years to finally get him and Christian to team together. Christian is still basically a heel, so this team really makes no sense. Nick Wayne broke his foot so they put Killswitch into this match instead. Killswitch hasn't been around since last year's All In. He had pneumonia and was in the hospital. He looked in great shape here, although he wasn't doing any type of flips or top rope dives. Kip Sabian was put into The Matriarchy because Killswitch was out of action. Kip Sabian never wrestles. He's been literally getting an AEW paycheck by just standing next to Christian and Nick Wayne for the last year. So he's finally doing something now. I guess he's happy. You could kind of tell he never wrestles, though. While this match wasn't anything special, the crowd was really hot for everything Edge and Christian did. They sang Edge's song when he came out. So everyone's happy the boys are back. Hopefully they give them a more interesting match in Toronto at the next PPV, All Out. **

KYLE FLETCHER vs. HIROMU TAKAHASHI (15:27): Hiromu hasn't been that exciting as a wrestler ever since he broke his neck. I think one problem is that New Japan refuses to put him in the heavyweight division, so he's been spinning his wheels with the Jr.'s for five years. Kyle is the TNT champion now, which is something, but it seemed like when he beat Ospreay last year he was being pushed for the heavyweight championship picture. This match was good but nothing fantastic. By the end it got fairly exciting. I suppose they wanted to "protect" Hiromu because they gave him a bunch of kick outs at the end to finishing moves. **1/2

MERCEDES MONE vs. ALEX WINDSOR vs. BOZILLA vs. PERSEPHONE (15:31): This was the only match with CMLL and Stardom wrestlers. Bozilla is from Germany and in Stardom. She's a big girl so she was the star, powering over everyone throughout. Persephone is from CMLL and fairly forgettable (it should be noted that CMLL is the hottest promotion in the world right now...not that I would know, as they put all their Friday night shows on Youtube behind a paywall...I used to watch those shows all the time). Windsor is Ospreay's girlfriend and from RevPro. It was fairly obvious that Mone would retain her TBS title. Mone also won RevPro's title on Friday night on their show. The match never really heated up into anything great. *1/2

ZACK SABRE, JR. vs. NIGEL McGUINNESS (17:01): This was for the IWGP title. Strange that it was just a random match in the middle of the card. I guess even they knew nobody gave Nigel a shot. I'm not sure if these two have ever wrestled, but Nigel was in this match because he's from the UK. Match wasn't particularly great, though Nigel looked decent enough considering he's only wrestled a few times since returning and Zack is one of the best wrestlers in the world. After this match, Queen Aminata and Thekla came out from the back, still brawling (what, they were fighting backstage for two hours?). Sky Blue and Julia Hart came out to beat up Aminata. Then Jamie Hayter came out to return from injury and save the day. It's so funny, but her get-up and hair make her look like she's from the 70's (also like Daphne from Scooby Doo), which I guess is the point. But...like...is that a thing now? Being a Charlie's Angel? She looks cool. I guess. **

BRODIDO (BANDIDO & BRODY KING) vs. THE HURT SYNDICATE (BOBBY LASHLEY & SHELTON BENJAMIN) vs. FTR (CASH WHEELER & DAX HARWOOD) (16:05): Since The Hurt Syndicate won the tag team titles, they've been pretty much destroying everyone but not wrestling any meaningful teams (like The Bucks or FTR). They lost the tag titles here but weren't pinned. Ricochet and The Gates of Agony came out in masks and New Japan jackets and beat up The Hurt Syndicate and took them to the back. Eventually Bandido and Brody beat FTR to win the titles. The final pin was a little off, as Bandido didn't get the cover right and had to do it again quickly. The match was entertaining. It makes sense to give the titles to a new team and Brody and Bandido are exciting. They're not a real tag team, though, and I kind of hate when they give the titles to two singles wrestlers thrown together. Buddy Matthews, Brody's tag team partner, is out with a knee injury, so that's the reason this team was concocted. Bandido is the ROH champion, so he still wrestles as a singles competitor (his ROH title match against Takeshita earlier this year was great...and he's wrestling Hechicero next Friday at ROH's PPV at the ECW Arena). MVP was oddly not at ringside. There have been internet rumors that The Hurt Syndicate refused to lose to Jet Speed and have heat backstage. Out of all of this, The Hurt Syndicate looked fantastic in this match, especially Shelton Benjamin. Their matches have usually been short and mostly squashes, but they're fantastic when they're actually wrestling a full match. Good match. *** 

KAZUCHIKA OKADA vs. SWERVE STRICKLAND (16:41): I actually liked this match even though all the online comments about this were negative. I think I'm just used to the 2025 Okada. He's methodical, slow, and not as exciting and fast as he once was. I was a little surprised when Okada won and retained whatever the hell this title is (it's a combination of the Continental Classic title and the International title and it's called the Unified title). Afterwards, though, we learned that Swerve is having knee surgery and is out for awhile. The finish makes sense now. Considering Okada doesn't have great matches anymore, will they even bother to push him into a PPV main event title match, though? So he's just going to have this weird title and be in the middle of the cards forever? I did think this match was compelling and pretty entertaining. Afterwards, Okada kept beating up Swerve and then Prince Nana ran out to make the save. Wardlow, who's been in AEW jail forever (the other occupants: Britt Baker & Jungle Boy, both who haven't been around all year for unknown reasons), came out to beat up Nana while a broken Swerve lay on the mat in agony. Wardlow joined the Don Callis family. You know...I guess it's kind of the point to be sick of Don Callis since he's a heel...but I used to find his gimmick kind of funny and amusing but I'm over it. *** 

TONI STORM vs. ATHENA (15:16): Athena's been the ROH women's champ for years now. I guess that's why a lot of people online thought she might win. She didn't. Nobody knows who the hell she is, so why would she win? I guess to make a new star? Considering this match was boring, she didn't achieve that. She is a good wrestler, but this crowd was asleep for most of this match. It started fast, with Toni giving Billie Starks a pile driver at ringside (Starks is Athena's partner in crime these days). The crowds still love Toni Storm. She's probably the most over women's wrestler in any promotion. But the crowd didn't care when the wrestling started. By the end there was some crowd reaction with the near falls but this didn't turn out all that great. *1/2

'HANGMAN' ADAM PAGE vs. MJF (31:38): There were a ton of shenanigans in this match...which is probably why half of the reviews of this match were negative and half were positive. It went long so they did just about everything. Both men were bleeding. 'Hangman' gave MJF a Dead Eye off the apron through a table. MJF gave 'Hangman' a running piledriver onto the broken table that didn't break more (that didn't look good). The story was that MJF kept trying to cheat. The ref got knocked out at one point. MJF hit Page with the contract. MJF tried to hit Page with the diamond ring but the ref caught it. MJF pulled the top rope buckel off to reveal the steel. MJF did a low blow. There was a great spot after MJF gave Page a pile driver onto the broken table at ringside and Page had to make it back into the ring at 10. He slipped at 8 and barely made it back in. MJF did pin Page but Page's foot was on the rope but the ref didn't see it. Mark Briscoe came out to complain but security pulled him back. The ref never re-started the match but never rang the bell so it just kept going on. Eventually, 'Hangman' hit MJF with the contract (a title shot contract that MJF still hasn't used by the way...he got this match by threatening to burn Mark Briscoe alive...typical wrasslin'!) when the ref wasn't looking, thus beating MJF at his own game. The crowd got super loud and were on their feet at one point late in this match, which was awesome to see (you kind of want to see that during a title match on a big show). All of the distractions, cheating and ref bumps made this feel more like a WWE title match...but it was entertaining and dramatic. Good match. ***

DARBY ALLIN, GOLDEN LOVERS (KENNY OMEGA & KOTA IBUSHI), HIROSHI TANAHASHI & WILL OSPREAY vs. DEATH RIDERS (JON MOXLEY & CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI), GABE KIDD & THE YOUNG BUCKS "LIGHTS OUT STEEL CAGE MATCH" (32:25): They used the New Japan style cage here...which is a topless cage that encircles both the ring and the ringside area. I think they did this cage match because they didn't do Blood & Guts this year, presumably because they didn't want to have a big match on TV during the lead up to All In in July. This match was wildly exciting. There were a ton of great spots and some awesome wrestling sequences. Kota Ibushi actually looked good in this and Tanahashi probably got the biggest pops from the crowd even though he was hobbling around and doing lame Dragon Screws. There was a blood and comedy. The Bucks came out to the infamous "Hmm Bop" song for some reason or another (the commentators noted that it was their original entrance music...and it should be noted that Bryan Danielson did commentary tonight and was great). Earlier in the show, The Bucks told a crew member to put the most dangerous thing they could think of in a bag for this match. It turned out to be gummy bears. The crowd liked that. Kenny stuffed gummy bears into one of the Bucks' mouth and kicked his face. The gruesome spot of the night was Moxley using a fork to cut into Darby's ear. The got a loud, sickening groan from the crowd. Claudio picked up Darby and tossed him out of the ring into the side of the cage. That was crazy. Darby and Gabe Kidd ended up on top of the cage and crashed down onto four stacked tables at ringside. There was a barbed wire board that Moxley got tossed into. Ospreay did a moonsault off the top of the cage down onto everyone. Darby was taped to a chair at one point and then picked up and slammed. Tanahashi started climbing a ladder but his teammates made him come back down. Tanahashi ended up getting the win after a High Fly Flow. This match was engrossing and super entertaining and wild. There were two negatives, though. It went on a little bit too long. And after the good guys won, Moxley and his crew locked the cage and beat up Ospreay while everyone was outside. There were two reasons for this. One: Ospreay is having neck surgery and needed a storyline to be out of action for a year or more. Two: Moxley lost at All In and the Death Riders lost this match. They needed something to keep them alive as a prominent threat. The problem is that by closing the show with Ospreay, the hometown hero, on a stretcher, you make all the fans go home sad. You don't want to end the show with a downer ending. You want people leaving the arena to smile and high five their friends. I get it: you set up a Moxley vs. Ospreay match whenever Ospreay returns, maybe at next year's All In. But it hurts this show by having a sad end to a great night of action. Match was fantastic, though, so there's that. ***

WWE SUMMERSLAM

 Metlife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey

NIGHT 1:

JEY USO & ROMAN REIGNS vs. BRON BREAKER & BRONSON REED (21:04): I guess because the WWE is "hot" these days, plus the fact that the new owners, TKO, are trying to maximize profits at all costs, this year was the first time ever that Summerslam was two nights. I suppose it's inevitable that The Royal Rumble will eventually be two nights as well, and maybe even Survivor Series. It definitely waters the show down, as now you don't get all the big stars and big matches on one show. This show was fine but nothing special. The WWE PPV's are entertaining but nothing to go out of your way to see. This was an easy, fairly entertaining show if you watched the replay and could fast forward all the commercials. The show looked like a big deal because it was outside at the Giants/Jets football stadium. The stage was pretty massive. It seemed like there weren't that many seats on the floor, though, but every seat even in the nosebleeds was filled. And the crowd seemed hot for most everything and seemed to enjoy themselves. This opener featured Roman Reigns wrestling in his first match since Wrestlemania. It seems to me that, since the whole heel Roman of The Bloodline storyline ended, they don't really know what to do with Roman Reigns. I think the problem with this match is that it felt like an A team (Uso & Reigns) vs. a B team (Breaker & Reed). Seth Rollins is the only true star of that heel group and he wasn't in this match. Match was fine but never elevated into anything great. ** 

ALEXA BLISS & CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. THE JUDGMENT DAY (RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ & ROXANNE PEREZ) (13:36): Bliss and Flair and a tag team but headed for a split and a feud. So of course they won the tag team titles here. Are there even any women's tag teams? It seems like it's just teams where they put two singles wrestlers together. It also seems like Charlotte Flair was just being booed but she was cheered here. Match was forgettable. 1/2*

SAMI ZAYN vs. KARRION KROSS (8:10): I doubt that this match would have been on Summerslam if not for the two night gimmick. Maybe they should fire Karrion Kross again. He's totally superfluous. Sami Zayn is now wearing trunks with Arabic writing on them. At one point, Scarlett handed Sami a metal pipe so that he could cheat. He didn't. Scarlett is Karrion's wife/general manager. The storyline is that Sami needs to show killer instinct to eventually be a champion, and I guess Scarlett wanted to show him that by giving him the metal pipe. Why she would do that to get her husband to lose the match makes no sense. *

TIFFANY STRATON vs. JADE CARGILL (7:04): Cargill won the Queen of the Ring tournament to get this title shot match. Cargill lost. She didn't look as awkward or as lost as she did in AEW, but she's still not a good wrestler. Tiffany did some exciting dives and moonsaults. Match was just okay. *1/2

DREW McINTYRE & LOGAN PAUL vs. JELLY ROLL & RANDY ORTON (17:05): Jelly Roll is a singer. He's also fat, so it was kind of ridiculous how much offense he got against McIntyre and Paul here. The big moment had Logan doing a frog splash from the top rope onto Jelly Roll through the announce table. That was cool. Jelly Roll was hobbling towards the back with the medical people but then pushed them away and got back into the match only to seemingly become Superman. I get that this is fake but, c'mon. At least Jelly Roll was pinned by Logan Paul. **

CM PUNK vs. GUNTHER/ SETH ROLLINS vs. CM PUNK (30:31): Gunther gave CM Punk some hellacious chops in this. That was good. The problem was that Gunther was in some great, old-school match whereas CM Punk was just lying on the mat. If this hadn't been so one-sided it might've been a classic. Gunther stupidly stood on the announce table to celebrate the beat down and Punk grabbed his feet to cause him to fall. Gunther was bleeding. This caused CM Punk to give Gunther two Go to Sleeps and win the title. The first GTS was great because Gunther didn't fall over, just wobbled and leaned backwards on the precipice of collapse. After Punk won the title, Seth Rollins came out to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase. Rollins beat up Punk with the briefcase, then cashed it in, then gave him a stomp and won the title. This "surprise" cash in would've been better if it wasn't so obvious. Seth was injured on Saturday Night's Main Event on July 13th. The problem was that his injury was fake and all the pro-wrestling reporters revealed it online. I guess if you don't go on wrestling websites online or anything you might've been surprised. For what it's worth, this was a really good match besides the fact that it was too one-sided. Gunther's chops and brutality were really great. I kind of wish this match didn't have a cash in and Punk actually did a realistic comeback to win the title. This really had the building blocks of being an epic, awesome, classic New Japan strong style, dramatic, long, title main event match...but like most things in WWE lately, they fell short and ended with gimmickry. **1/2

NIGHT 2:

NAOMI vs. IYO SKY vs. RHEA RIPLEY (16:21): I thought night two was the better night. Weirdly, they put all of the gimmick matches on night two. I mean...why put a street fight, a no DQ match, a TLC match, and a cage match on the same show? Makes no sense why at least one of those was on night one. Naomi retained the women's title here. I watched this match yesterday and honestly don't remember much about it. That's not a good thing. *1/2

THE WYATT SICKS (DEXTER LUMIS & JOE GACY) vs. #DIY (JOHNNY GARGANO & TOMMASO CIAMPA) vs. ANDRADE & REY FENIX vs. FRAXIOM (AXIOM & NATHAN FRAZER)) vs. THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS (ALEX SHELLY & CHRIS SABIN) vs. THE  STREET PROFITS (ANGELO DAWKINS & MONTEZ FORD) "TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH" (16:03): This match was fantastic. They did like twenty top rope dives onto tables. A bunch of people interfered, including Gargano's wife, Candice, who ended up falling off a ladder onto a ladder bridge at ringside. Shockingly, Andrade and Fenix weren't the stars. Why are they a team, anyway? Where's Penta? This was just all action and super entertaining. ***1/2

BECKY LYNCH vs. LYRA VALKYRIA "NO COUNT OUT NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH" (25:05): This seemed to go on too long. Becky used a zip tie to handcuff Lyra's hands together. At one point, her hands got free but I guess she still had spots to do so she put her hands back into the zip tie. You know...you're on fucking camera, we can see what you did. She is fairly new, I suppose it's a learning moment. Bayley showed up and ended up beating up Becky. Becky wrapped Lyra in a chair and tossed her around. They used a fire extinguisher. Eventually, Bayley hit Lyra by accident, causing Becky to pin Lyra and retain her Intercontinental title. Match was fairly entertaining but dragged on a bit too long. **

SOLO SIKOA vs. JACOB FATU "STEEL CAGE MATCH" (12:37): The match was strange because there was all this interference at ringside and then in the ring after the match with Jeff Cobb, Jimmy Uso, Tanga Loa, and Hikuleo. I mean...the whole point of having a steel cage is for it to be two guys locked inside and nothing else, right? Jacob got handcuffed to the top of the cage but then seconds later was free. So there were two matches tonight where someone got handcuffed. Solo eventually just left the cage through the door to win. Jacob did do a moonsault off the top of the cage, but that was after he lost. Makes sense. Match was okay. *1/2

DOMINIK MYSTERIO vs. AJ STYLES (10:41): Dominik won by cheating. He hit AJ with his boot when the ref wasn't looking. Match was fine but nothing special.

CODY RHODES vs. JOHN CENA "STREET FIGHT" (37:42): John Cena has been a heel since Elimination Chamber. How would he turn back into a babyface? What great storyline or moment would they concoct to get him back to being the hero? Um...he came out on Smackdown and told the crowd that he's a good guy now. Wait. What? Seriously? Cena's heel run has to go down as one of the worst storylines in WWE history. He turned heel because he suddenly didn't care about the fans or something. This was never explained well. Now he's not a heel because all of a sudden he doesn't want to be a heel anymore. What the fuck is this shit? Doesn't the WWE have writers? They can't come up with something compelling? Dramatic? Exciting? So Cena came out in this match as a total babyface. The crowd cheered him. They did boo Cody a lot when Cody was on offense. This was a long match. They broke tables and brawled around the stadium. The story of the match was that they kept kicking out of each other's finishers...a lot. Cena looked good in this match. He gave Cody an AA through the announce table. Cody undid the bottom rope and used the steel connecting rod to hit Cena a bunch of times. The finish had Cody putting Cena through a table from the top rope then giving him a Crossroads to win the title. This was a fun, exciting match, although it did go a bit too long. Since Cena hugged a crying Cody after the match and they were friends now, the boos for Cody seemed to stop. After the match, Brock Lesnar came out and gave John Cena an F5. Lesnar, if you don't know, hasn't been in the WWE since he was named in the Vince McMahon sex trafficking lawsuit. Vince offered the woman in the lawsuit to Lesnar for sex. Lesnar apparently never had sex with her but did ask for and receive pornographic videos from her and did joke about it all through texts with Vince. I remember the lawsuit saying that Brock texted the woman to send him a video of her taking a piss and then texting her back the word "bitch" after she sent it. Obviously, why would the WWE bring back someone involved in a lawsuit like that? The lawsuit has been ongoing for awhile now and it seems that, like all rich white men, Vince is going to get away with it. He might have to pay more money or something, but I highly doubt he's going to prison or anything. Is that why they brought back Brock? Because they figure the lawsuit isn't going to amount to anything? Or do they really not care that he was involved with the sexual abuse and humiliation of a woman? Lesnar vs. Cena is too big, right? Hell, the crowd didn't boo Lesnar. They cheered his return. What a sad, sad world we live in. The match was good but that ending just put a bad taste in my mouth. ***

WWE EVOLUTION

Atlanta

BECKY LYNCH vs. BAYLEY vs. LYRA VALKYRIA (16:25): The WWE wanted to counter AEW's All In Texas show by running three shows in three days. They had an NXT PPV that went directly against All In Texas on Saturday afternoon. They had Goldberg's retirement to Walter on Saturday Night's Main Event. And then this all women's PPV on Sunday night. I think the problem with this strategy was that most wrestling fans were only talking and thinking about that Moxley/'Hangman' match after the weekend was over. All of these WWE shows were pretty much forgotten. That Goldberg match was terrible and NBC even cut away from his retirement speech to show whatever dumb thing they had scheduled at 10 PM. This show had a decent opener and a good main event. I doubt very many people even watched this show, though. It was originally scheduled last weekend at the Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut. That show would have probably been sold out and actually watched. They got a decent crowd for this, considering it was only the 2nd all women's PPV they've ever done. If you remember, the first one was spawned out of the controversy of them doing a show in Saudi Arabia and the women not being allowed on it. I'm not sure why it took them so long to do another one or even why they decided now to do it. This first match was fairly good. Becky and Lyra have had a feud going but they decided for whatever reason to insert Bayley into it. It would've been better if she wasn't in this match, honestly. Becky retained. The crowd was pretty hot for most of this show which helped. **1/2 (out of ****)

JACY JAYNE vs. JORDYNNE GRACE (10:28): This was for the NXT women's title. I don't watch NXT, although Bryan and Dave on Wrestling Observer radio seem to always say good things about it. I watched this show two days ago and don't even remember anything about this match, though. *

THE JUDGMENT DAY (RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ & ROXANNE PEREZ) vs. ALEXA BLISS & CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. SOL RUCA & ZARIA vs. THE KUBIKI WARRIORS (ASUKA & KAIRI SANE) (10:52): Sol Ruca was pretty exciting to watch in this match. She wore super short, super tight tights which probably helped. Charlotte Flair got cheered here, but wasn't she booed at Wrestlemania? I feel like she's booed all the time except on this show. At least there was a lot going on in this match with so many wrestlers. **

TIFFANY STRATTON vs. TRISH STRATUS (8:37): I always look up how old Trish Stratus is when I see her wrestling. She's not even that old (49). She must've been a child when she was stripping and barking like a dog for Vince. She just came back to wrestle every now and then a year or two ago. What was she doing for the last 20 years? Did she work in, like, real estate or something? Maybe she just raised kids. I doubt she had a ton of cash from the Attitude Era because I don't think they paid women a lot back then. Tiffany was once a big, bright shining star. She seemed to have cooled off. What happened? Match was okay. *1/2

JADE CARGILL vs. NAOMI (11:15): The only thing I remember from the last Evolution PPV in 2018 was that great main event that had Becky Lynch and Charlotte wrestle in a Last Woman Standing match. I figured they'd have a bunch of gimmick matches to make this all women's show palatable to some people who'd probably never watch an all women's show. You know...like throw a cage or ladder match on the show. This was it: a hardcore match. This just felt silly, especially after seeing Moxley falling on a bed of nails and 'Hangman' being dragged through broken glass yesterday. I mean...that was hardcore. They used a Singapore cane and a table. Naomi lost but then became the champion later. Makes sense. *

STEPHANIE VAQUER "BATTLE ROYALE " (15:32): The WWE signed two big international stars in Stephanie Vaquer from CMLL and Giulia from Stardom. They even pushed them on NXT...so why didn't they have singles matches on this show? Odd. They did give Stephanie Vaquer the win here and gave her a post-match interview with Stephanie McMahon even though she can barely speak English. Vaquer gets a title shot at the PPV in France in August. Why not Summerslam? Who the fuck knows? Giulia was in this match, along with Nikki Bella, Nia Jax, Natalya, and a bunch of women I barely know. I do know Piper Niven...but why is she dressed like Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction? Did one of the writers watch Pulp Fiction one night and then say, "Hey, let's dress up someone from Pulp Fiction!" Probably. This was an over-the-top Battle Royal, so Kelani Jordan ended up on the announce desk at one point and had to do a handstand and walk to the ring so her feet didn't touch the floor. That was cool. **

NAOMI vs. IYO SKY vs. RHEA RIPLEY (26:19): This was by far the best match of the night. Iyo Sky is very entertaining, and Rhea is one of the better women's wrestlers in the WWE. Naomi cashed in her Money in the Bank contract towards the end of the match to make this a three way. She ended up winning the title. The crowd still always goes crazy for these cash ins. Who ever came up with that gimmick is a genius. Seth Rollins has the men's briefcase, but he got injured on Saturday Night's Main Event and might be out for a while. This match had a lot of action and drama and the crowd was into it. Not much more you can ask for. ***

AEW ALL IN TEXAS

 

Globe Life Field, Arlington, Texas

THE SONS OF TEXAS (DUSTIN RHODES, MARSHALL VON ERICH, ROSS VON ERICH & SAMMY GUEVERA) vs. SHANE TAYLOR PROMOTIONS (CARLIE BRAVO, SHANE TAYLOR & SHAWN DEAN) (7:11): This was AEW's first stadium show in the U.S., so it was a big deal. The show was at the Texas Rangers' baseball stadium. They got a little over 25,000 people. It looked impressive, though, which was a plus. The show was good, though AEW has had better PPV's this year. The only negative was that the show was really long. It went 6 hours plus about 1 hour of pre-show matches. There weren't any bad matches on the show, though they probably could have cut a few matches off the show to make it shorter. While the Omega/Okada match was a disappointment, it was still a pretty good match, just nothing near as good as their previous 4 matches years ago in New Japan. What mattered is that the main event and the ending to the show were great. The pre-show opened with this match, with Kevin Von Erich giving The Claw to one of the bad guys, which got a big pop, and something they kind of had to do in Texas. **

BIG BOOM AJ & THE CONGLOMERATION (HOLOGRAM, KYLE O'REILLY & TOMOHIRO ISHII) vs. THE DON CALLIS FAMILY (HECHICERO, LANCE ARCHER, ROCKY ROMERO & TRENT BERETTA) (12:52): Big Boom AJ, his son, and The Rizzler are still a thing? The crowd seemed into their shenanigans, so I guess they are (they're internet stars, apparently). The funniest part was when Trent Beretta pushed Big Boom AJ's son to the ground outside the ring. That was amusing because he's, like, 13 or something. **

FTR vs. THE OUTRUNNERS (16:12): These two teams had a hell of a match two weeks ago on Collision. I guess they figured that FTR has nothing else to do on this show so why not do a re-match? It was fine, though nothing as good as their first match. It looks like they're setting up FTR vs. The Hurt Business, which is kind of weird because both teams are supposed to be heels. The Hurt Business is cheered everywhere, though. **

THE OPPS (KATSUYORI SHIBATA, POWERHOUSE HOBBS & SAMOA JOE) vs. DEATH RIDERS (CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI & WHEELER YUTA) & GABE KIDD (14:29): The main card opened with this trios championship match. Really, they could have cut this. The crowds popped big for Samoa Joe and they cheered for all of Hobbs' big, power moves. Match was fine. **

MJF vs. ANTHONY BOWENS vs. BANDIDO vs. BRODY KING vs. JOSH ALEXANDER vs. JUICE ROBINSON vs. KONOSUKE TAKESHITA vs. KOTA IBUSHI vs. MARK BRISCOE vs. MAX CASTER vs. MISTICO vs. RICOCHET vs. RODERICK STRONG vs. THE BEAST MORTOS "CASINO GAUNTLET MATCH" (34:52): One reason this show was so long is that they did a men's and women's Casino Gauntlet match. The only surprise entrant was Juice Robinson making his return after injury. The Gunns returned, albeit they weren't in the match, they just came out to beat up The Gates of Agony, who were helping Ricochet. The crowd was into this because of the countdowns for each star and it was a fun match. They did a good job on TV the last few weeks setting up MJF vs. Briscoe, who were the first two entrants, plus setting up MJF vs. Mistico. MJF won a title contract. **1/2

DUSTIN RHODES vs. DANIEL GARCIA vs. KYLE FLETCHER vs. SAMMY GUEVARA (14:23): Adam Cole was supposed to defend his TNT title against Fletcher. Cole was injured, apparently with a concussion, so he came out to say he may have to retire and he's relinquishing the title. I think the retirement thing is because he's had a bad run of various injuries the last few years, including a history of bad concussions. Dustin Rhodes shockingly won the TNT title here. He wept like a baby when he won. Is the TNT title that important? I don't think he cried when him and Sammy won the ROH tag titles. Still, it was a nice scene when he won and made the title seem important. **

SWERVE STRICKLAND & WILL OSPREAY vs. THE YOUNG BUCKS (26:16): This match was fantastic, perhaps the best of the night. I was a little upset that AEW didn't have their best wrestler, Ospreay, in a singles match on their biggest show of the year. I can't really complain, though, as this was one of the year's best match. It was super entertaining, dramatic, and exciting. The Bucks came out in a ship a la Washington crossing the Delaware. They were dressed up in colonial garb while the ring announcer read some ridiculous, hilarious screed about them being the founding fathers of AEW. By the end of this match, The Bucks had Ospreay sitting against the ropes while they pummeled him with non stop kicks to the face. Swerve moved in front of Ospreay to save him and take the kicks himself. This was just an awesome match filled with a ton of action and high spots. Swerve and Ospreay won so they're now the EVP's of AEW, whatever that entails. ***1/2

ATHENA vs. ALEX WINDSOR vs. JULIA HART vs. KRIS STATLANDER vs. MEGAN BAYNE vs. MINA SHIRAKAWA vs. QUEEN AMINATA vs. SYURI vs. TAY MELO vs. THEKLA vs. THUNDER ROSA vs. WILLOW NIGHTINGALE "CASINO GAUNTLET MATCH" (27:01): Syuri, from Stardom, was really the only surprise entrant. This worked because the crowd was into it, which helped (they were fairly quiet for most of the TNT match and some parts of the trios match). Athena wins a title contract. She's already the ROH women's champ. **1/2

THE HURT SYNDICATE vs. JET SPEED (KEVIN KNIGHT & MIKE BAILEY) vs. THE PATRIARCHY (CHRISTIAN CAGE & NICK WAYNE) (18:59): Jet Speed did a bunch of crazy, high flying, top rope moves, which at least provided entertainment. The Hurt Syndicate retained the titles. After the match, Nick Wayne turned on Christian. FTR, who were doing commentary, came in to help Nick Wayne give a conchairto to Christian. Before that could happen, Edge returned to spear the bad guys. Then he told Christian to "go find himself" and left. **1/2

TONI STORM vs. MERCEDES MONE (25:11): The crowd was into this, which helped. I was kind of surprised Toni Storm won. She gave Mercedes a top rope Storm Zero to win. Match was okay but never heated up into anything great. The crowds at every AEW show love Toni Storm. Her ridiculous, 1920's Hollywood gimmick works for whatever reason. Storm retained the AEW women's title, though Mone still has, like, seven other belts from various promotions. **

KAZUCHIKA OKADA vs. KENNY OMEGA (31:05): I didn't expect this to as good as any of their epic 4 matches in NJPW years ago (their last one was 7 years ago). There was a glimmer of hope, though, because Omega vs. Gave Kidd from the Tokyo Dome in January was one of the best matches of the year (I still think that Ospreay/Fletcher cage match was the best of the year). Omega still has it. Okada vs. Ospreay from earlier this year was pretty great, too. Sadly, this was disappointing. It was a good match just not as good as their previous matches. The bar was too high to overcome. I think one reason is that both of these guys are older. Omega/Kidd was helped because of the brutality (chair shots to the head, broken tables, blood) plus Gabe Kidd is young. Omega and Okada are both too old to be doing what they did in New Japan 7 years ago. They did everything they used to do, but it wasn't as fast, exciting, or dramatic as what they used to do. **1/2

'HANGMAN' ADAM PAGE vs. JON MOXLEY "TEXAS DEATH MATCH" (35:53): When 'Hangman' beat Ospreay to get into this match, I was truly surprised. Ospreay is the best wrestler in the world. Why the heck haven't they put the title on him yet? AEW did a hell of a job setting up this match and paying it off, though. And 'Hangman' is a cowboy, it's in Texas, they did the Texas Death Match gimmick since it's in Texas. Plus the crowds fucking love 'Hangman' and this match ended up making more sense than Ospreay/Moxley. 'Hangman' and Moxley actually already had a Texas Death Match, two years ago at Revolution. What could they possibly do different? Well, they brought out a bed of nails (which AEW actually used before in that Blood & Guts match with Kota Ibushi). This match was, obviously, sadistic. They had a fantastic camera close up shot with 'Hangman' holding Moxley in a headlock and stabbing his forehead with a fork. He actually was jabbing him because you could see the instantaneous blood popping in rivulets across his forehead. What a grotesque camera shot that was. Jesus. Moxley gave 'Hangman' a suplex off of the apron through two tables wrapped in barbed wire. Moxley brought out a bucket of broken glass and dumped it in the ring then started stepping on the half broken bottles to make more shards. Then Moxley dragged 'Hangman' across the glass, which got a deafening roar of shock from the crowd. The ending had Bryan Danielson return, wearing a Luchador mask for some reason. They didn't even play his entrance music or anything, he just showed up in the ring to do his "Yes" chant and then give Moxley the flying knee. Darby Allin, who had recently been away because he climbed Mt. Everest, repelled from the ceiling then attacked Moxley and the Death Riders, who came out to interfere. They did play a short clip with Darby on top of Mt. Everest, saying he's going to come down from the mountain to take out Moxley. Swerve ended up coming out. This played into a years long storyline of 'Hangman' and Swerve hating each other's guts. Swerve showed up at Adam Page's house to watch his child sleeping in his crib. Then 'Hangman' burned down Swerve's childhood home (really...this one perhaps AEW's best and funniest moment). So those two have issues. But they seemingly made a truce with a locker room chat on Collision this week where 'Hangman' left a chain at Swerve's feet. Swerve came out here and gave 'Hangman' the chain. Moxley gave 'Hangman' a stomp onto the bed of nails. Marina Shafir was handcuffed by Prince Nana by the ring bell so she couldn't help Moxley. 'Hangman' gave Moxley his finisher clothesline and Moxley fell onto the bed of nails. The crowd went wild for that spot. Then 'Hangman' choked out Moxley with the chain while Moxley was dangling off the ropes to the floor. Moxley tapped out. 'Hangman' got the keys to the briefcase that held the AEW championship (it had been locked away since Moxley won it last October). 'Hangman' Adam Page pulled out the title and held it up. This was great and very cathartic. Page wins the title for the second time. This match was excellent and, really, the best way possible they could have ended this show. ***1/2 

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

CODY RHODES vs. RANDY ORTON (19:48): The crowd was going ape shit before either guy even started to wrestle. Are the people of Saudi Arabia that starved for entertainment? I guess life gets boring when porn and alcohol are banned in your country. Plus, women are covered up and are you even allowed to hit on a girl? I think arranged marriage is the only way to end up talking and/or having sex with a girl. And there's no "going to the club" on a Saturday night, is there? It'd just be men and no alcohol. Either way, the boisterous crowd helped this show and this match. They did boo Cody, which is probably why there's now internet rumors that they're thinking of turning him heel. This was the finals of the King of the Ring tournament. Cody won so he gets a title shot against John Cena at Summerslam. **1/2

RHEA RIPLEY vs. RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ "RIYADH BOULEVARD STREET FIGHT" (14:04): The women wrestlers aren't allowed to show any skin besides their face and hands. Considering they both wore black latex,, Catwoman-esque, skintight, bondage outfits, maybe it would have been less offensive if they could show some bare leg. This was a hardcore match so they brought out a table but didn't break it...which made me wonder if they weren't allowed to break tables. They used the table to balance it on the corner of the ropes and stand on it so Rhea could deliver her finisher down onto the mat. They also used a Singapore cane. Match was fine. *1/2

SAMI ZAYN vs. KARRION KROSS (13:32): Saudi Arabia loves Sami Zayn. His family is from Syria and he's a Muslim. I guess that's why. He was born in Canada, though. Karrion Kross has, apparently, been getting big cheers on whatever show he's on (I think it's RAW...but I couldn't even remember the last time he actually wrestled). I don't know why. Match was only 13 minutes but seemed to go on too long. *

SOLO SIKOA vs. JACOB FATU (12:08): I kind of thought they were pushing Jacob Fatu to be a big star and send him into the main event picture. Well, he already lost the U.S. title here. Jeff Cobb, who's going by the stupidest name ever, JC Matteo, interfered, as did Tonga Loa. Then they debuted Hikuleo, who's another Samoan dude. They all teamed up to beat up Fatu. I guess the ref was knocked out? Match wasn't good even though Fatu is usually in good ones. *

JADE CARGILL vs. ASUKA (8:34): This was the final of the King of the Ring tournament. Surprisingly, Jade Cargill won. An 8 minute final is kind of ridiculous, right? Even the crowd got quiet for this one. 1/2*

JOHN CENA vs. CM PUNK (26:17): At last year's Wrestlemania, everyone raved about the Cody/Roman match. If you remember, everyone and their mother interfered during that match. I'm guessing this gave the WWE the idea that they should always do a thousand people running out at the end of a match since it worked so well that one time. The match was fine but pretty dull before the billion people interfering. The announcers noted that the arena was very humid, which is probably why CM Punk looked dead tired after a few minutes. The ref got knocked out. Seth Rollins' music hit, and he came out with Paul Heyman, Bron Breaker, and Bronson Reed. Rollins has a Money in the Bank briefcase to cash in, but he never got to do it. Breaker and Reed tried to beat up CM Punk. Sami Zayn and Penta ran out at one point. A ref ran down to the ring but Cena gave him a brutal shove to the floor that made me laugh (poor Charles Robinson). At one point, Rollins gave CM Punk a foot stomp and that led to Cena eventually winning. Nobody was talking about what happened in this match, though. Everyone was talking about CM Punk being a hypocrite. Years ago he made an infamous tweet to The Miz that read: "Go suck a blood covered dick in Saudi Arabia you fucking dork." CM Punk has also been very LGBTQ friendly, which Saudi Arabia is obviously not (it's illegal to be gay there). So for someone to badmouth the country all these years and then all of a sudden take the money and go there and then apologize to their king (which he did a few days ago at a press conference) is definitely hypocritical. Oh, well. CM Punk didn't exactly come across as a good guy when he was in AEW, either. This match sets up John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes for the title at Summerslam. That show is 2 nights for the first time ever and at the Giants football stadium outside NYC, so it's a big deal. Will they finally turn Cena back into a babyface and give us the retirement tour we all want? They fucking better. **

WWE MONEY IN THE BANK

Intuit Dome, Inglewood, California

NAOMI vs. ALEXA BLISS vs. GIULIA vs. RHEA RIPLEY vs. ROXANNE PEREZ vs. STEPHANIE VAQUER "MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH" (25:11): This is my favorite WWE PPV of the year because I love ladder matches. It used to be that you'd get two ladder matches and two men's championship matches on the show. That usually made it a stacked show. Those days are long gone. The main event of this show was just a typical RAW main event match. The only championship match on the show was for the women's Intercontinental title. CM Punk and Roman Reigns, two of the bigger stars in the WWE, weren't even on the show. The big, "shocking" return was...R-Truth. Okay. So this PPV, apparently, isn't much of a big deal anymore. That's a shame. Some of this show was entertaining but the three non-ladder matches were mostly boring. This match was uber-sloppy, which was expected. Giulia and Stephanie Vaquer are from Stardom and CMLL, so maybe it's just because they never wrestled with ladders before, but early on it seemed like they were baffled at how ladders even worked. Roxanne Perez was also in this mix, as she's new from NXT. At one point, two of the women wanted to slam the ladder shut onto their opponent and didn't realize you can't do that because of the slats in the middle holding it up. Do they, like, not even practice this stuff? Or, like, study how to work with a ladder? They also tried to throw a ladder on someone and it bounced off the top rope instead of hitting the person. Ugh. With all of these fresh faces, you'd think they'd throw a bone to one of them. Nope! Naomi won. Even Seth Rollins won the men's ladder match. Ladder matches are at least entertaining no matter how sloppy and fucked up they turn out, so this was at least watchable. Vaquer gave one of the women her trademark maneuver on a ladder bridge, which was cradling their head between her thighs and slamming her head down onto the ladder repeatedly. The crowd loved that. Rhea Ripley was also very over. Match was fine but nothing special. **

DOMINIK MYSTERIO vs. OCTAGON, JR. (4:55): TKO bought the Mexican wrestling promotion AAA for some unknown reason. They ran their first co-production show before this show at another location (I haven't watched it yet, but the main event was Chad Gable vs. Vikingo). Apparently they set this match up during that show, as this was previously unannounced. Considering Dominik quickly beat AAA's Octagon, Jr...maybe they wish the WWE hadn't bought them. They're just going to bury all their talent! There truly wasn't anything to this match, although Dominik playing heel to the crowd is always amusing. *

BECKY LYNCH vs. LYRA VALKYRIA (15:20): This match was boring. Considering they just had this match on the last PPV, it was fairly obvious Lynch was going to win. Lynch won by pulling Lyra's tights. Their last match was better. 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS vs. ANDRADE vs. EL GRANDE AMERICANO vs. LA KNIGHT vs. PENTA vs. SOLO SIKOA "MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH" (33:35): This was a typical, clusterfuck, everyone-runs-out-from-the-back type of WWE main event match...but it wasn't the main event. Some of it was wildly entertaining but it definitely went on way too long. El Grande Americano won a 3-way on RAW to be in this match instead of CM Punk. Why would you not have one of your biggest stars on one of the supposed biggest shows of the year? Baffling. By the end, Seth Rollins' heel group ran out to beat everyone up and then Solo's group ran out to beat everyone up. Jacob Fatu turned on Solo, though, and slammed him through a ringside ladder bridge. Eventually Seth Rollins won, which was expected. Penta gave Andrade a Canadian Destroyer on a ladder bridge in the ring. Penta also suplexed Seth off a ladder onto another ladder leaning against the ropes. This was by far the most entertaining match on the show, but when everyone started running out from the back the actual ladder match stopped for, like, ten minutes. Good match but it went on too long. ***

CODY RHODES & JEY USO vs. JOHN CENA & LOGAN PAUL (24:00): For twenty minutes, this was a dull slog. First off, this is a RAW main event to set up a title match at best. This isn't a PPV main event. I guess Cena doesn't wrestle on RAW and it's his last year so that means it's a bigger deal. Finally the match got exciting when Logal Paul did a second rope moonsault onto Jey on the Spanish announce table. I thought he'd given up doing big, suicidal spots so it was nice to see him back doing them. Cena hit Cody with the belt when the ref wasn't looking. Then a masked figure ran into the ring to lay out Cena. He unmasked and it was R-Truth! R-Truth was supposedly fired from the WWE last week. Apparently, he signed a new deal since then...but it kind of begs the question: was his "firing" just to make this surprise even more surprising? Or did the WWE actually notice that everyone was mad they fired him and re-hired him? I kind of feel bad for all the others they've fired recently, like Braun Strowman, Shayna Baszler, Dakota Kai, and Carlito, because they're not coming back like R-Truth. And considering R-Truth just wrestled Cena for the title on Saturday Night's Main Event a few weeks ago...what's the point of re-igniting that storyline? Does anyone really want to see another Cena vs. R-Truth match? At the end, Cody pinned Cena. The next big show is the 2-night Summerslam at the New York Giants stadium. I figured this means Cody vs. Cena for the title there but then I remembered they just fucking did that at 'Mania. The next actual PPV is the King of the Ring finals in Saudi Arabia. Ugh. They're still going there? Jesus. *1/2