Sunday, July 14, 2019

WWE EXTREME RULES

Philly

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. FINN BALOR (7:40): Extreme Rules? More like Extreme Crap. God was this show a bore. None of the matches were really awful, just the entire show was a lifeless pile of nothingness. I suppose Lesnar winning the title to close the show gave it some notoriety...although Lesnar being the champion yet again isn't very exciting anymore. This match was early on the hour long pre-show. The whole night started at 6 and ended a little before 11. No, we do not want a 5 hour B-PPV. This match was short and pretty basic.WWE is awful these days if you haven't realized that yet. *

DREW GULAK vs. TONY NESE (7:25): So this was a gigantic weekend for wrestling. There were G1 shows on Saturday and Sunday. AXS TV showed the Saturday G1 show on tape delay in a two hour block from 9 to 11 PM on Saturday night. AEW had their third show from Jacksonville on Saturday night and it was free on the Bleacher Report Live App. And Evolve, an indy promotion, had their 10th anniversary show live on the WWE Network on Saturday night. It was the first non-WWE show on the network. The reason it was on was because Gulak faced Matt Riddle and Tozawa faced Adam Cole for the NXT title on the show. It also took place at the ECW Arena in Philly...and this show, Extreme Rules, was in Philly the next night on Sunday so the WWE crew was already in town anyway. So Gulak had two big bouts this weekend. Both were average at best, surprisingly. Maybe it's because Gulak isn't that good? Hmmm. This match was one of the worst 205Live PPV matches in recent memory. They're usually pretty entertaining. I don't know...it was too short and not very exciting. Gulak retained the Cruiserweight title. *1/2

THE UNDERTAKER & ROMAN REIGNS vs. SHANE McMAHON & DREW McINTYRE (17:00): Well the crowd loved The Undertaker...even though he's old and cumbersome and shouldn't be wrestling anymore. I will say that he looked better than he did against Goldberg in Saudi Arabia in what has to be the worst match of the year (or any year). The Undertaker tried to pick up Shane at the end and couldn't so he tried again and could do it so he delivered the Tombstone Piledriver and won. This was supposed to be a hardcore match or a no DQ match or something. Shane jumped off the top rope and did an elbow drop onto The Undertaker on the announce table. Shane also did a coast to coast drop kick onto a trashcan and The Undertaker. I'm still not sure why Reigns and The Undertaker were teaming up. Remember that Reigns retired The Undertaker in the main event of a WrestleMania a few years back? I suppose this wasn't terrible. That's about the best I can say. **

THE REVIVAL vs. THE USO'S (12:35): These two have had great matches in the past. I'm not entirely sure why this just turned out mediocre. Every match from this on just seemed to be plodding and lifeless. Maybe after the crowd cheered for everything The Undertaker did they decided that they did enough cheering and caring for the night. *1/2

ALEISTER BLACK vs. CAESARO (9:45): If these two put on a thirty minute, main event title match somewhere it probably would be a four star, excellent match. Well a nine minute, meaningless match in the middle of a long night just isn't going to cut it. Black looked good. Caesaro is a master. But this was just too short to turn into anything worthwhile. **

BAYLEY vs. NIKKI CROSS & ALEXA BLISS (10:30): I was taking out the trash during most of this match (I should have also taken this match out! To the trash! Get it?), so I didn't hear the announcer's explanation as to who would be the champion if Nikki or Alexa had pinned Bayley. I guess who ever pinned her? But that wouldn't make sense because it wasn't a triple threat match it was a handicap match. The reason it was a handicap match was because Alexa had a bunch of concussions lately and they wanted her to lay low. This was by far the worst match on the show...although, granted, I didn't see the whole thing. 1/2*

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. BOBBY LASHLEY "LAST MAN STANDING" (17:30): Ugh. The finale had Braun slamming Lashley through a completely stupid, fake looking cardboard box set in the crowd. It was so fake looking and they knew it so they didn't even show the landing and didn't light it properly. They brawled all over the arena and out on the concourse for what seemed like hours. Who knew that two big men battling all over the arena for hours would be boring? Maybe if they had actually done something exciting around the arena besides fake punch each other and toss each other into walls. Is that exciting to you? There was a, "This is awesome!" chant during this match...but there was also one during the Daniel Bryan match and, let's face it, neither were awesome. *1/2

THE NEW DAY vs. DANIEL BRYAN & ROWAN vs. HEAVY MACHINERY (14:00): This was the best match on the show. Daniel Bryan & Rowan had a good match against Heavy Machinery last month on the PPV. And throw in The New Day and you at least get some entertainment. They weren't exactly re-inventing the wheel but it was fun. **1/2

AJ STYLES vs. RICOCHET (16:30): So what happened to Ricochet exactly? Did the WWE just neuter him like they do everyone? Because he used to be one of my favorite wrestlers and he used to be exciting and in great matches. AJ won the title here. What title? I think it was the U.S. title. Isn't AJ Styles like a big, main event star? So why's he have the U.S. title? I give up. If Ricochet and AJ Styles can't have a great match, then nobody in the WWE can. *1/2

KEVIN OWENS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (0:30): Wasn't Dolph battling Kofi for the title last month? So why is he losing in thirty seconds to Owens? Owens now has a new storyline. He's doing the CM Punk Pipe Bomb schtick and this time he's against Shane McMahon. I guess the WWE's solution to their dying ratings and product is to reach back into the closet for ideas that worked years ago. They hired Eric Bischoff to run Smackdown because I guess he was successful in the late 90's? They put Heyman in charge of RAW because I guess he was successful with ECW in the late 90's? Becky Lynch is basically doing the 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin gimmick. Does this company not believe in new, fresh ideas? Well, obviously not since Lesnar is the new champ. 1/2*

KOFI KINGSTON vs. SOMOA JOE (9:45): Yawn. I guess Kofi's title run is officially a disappointment. 1/2*

SETH ROLLINS & BECKY LYNCH vs. BARON CORBIN & LACEY EVANS/ 
BROCK LESNAR vs. SETH ROLLINS: I think even Wikipedia got bored with this match because this was the only match that they didn't print how long it went. I'll just tell you: it was too fucking long. This match was super boring and went on forever and nothing remotely exciting happened. Seriously, though, what did you expect? The main event of a WWE PPV is Seth Rollins & Becky Lynch vs. Baron Corbin & Lacey Evans. That's a bad RAW main event, not a PPV main event. The WWE even knew it, as they flew in Lesnar to cash in his Money in the Bank title to beat Rollins after the match and win the title. The crowd did pop when Lesnar came out...though when he pinned Rollins the crowd didn't seem that exciting. The whole, Lesnar is an unstoppable beast thing is old hat and oh-so tired. Lesnar has only been exciting when he's been in long, back and forth matches. When he just comes out and destroys someone and wins it's awful. So of course they did that. As for the match that proceeded the Lesnar cash-in: it was a no DQ match or a hardcore match or something. They used Singapore canes. They did a double table spot where Lynch went off the apron onto Lacey and a table and Rollins did a Frog Splash onto Corbin through a table from the top rope. The big moment that seemed to wake up the crowd was when Corbin gave Becky Lynch an End of Days. I guess this is shocking since the WWE rarely has men hit women. So Lesnar is the champ and the WWE is still really, really bad. The only thing extreme about this show was how extremely dull it was. *1/2