WWE TLC

Minneapolis

Attendance: 13,381

SASHA BANKS vs. ALICIA FOX (11:00): This was a pre-show match. Sasha is still a star, still a crowd favorite...but her days of having great matches disappeared once Charlotte went to Smackdown. Alicia Fox is more comedic...so this was mostly just ridiculous and forgettable. 1/2*

ASUKA vs. EMMA (9:25): This was Asuka's debut on the main roster. She's a good worker, obviously, but so good that her matches are never good. If she ever wrestled a competitor on her level like Charlotte it might be good. Emma is decent, nothing special. It wasn't a squash but it should have been. *1/2

CEDRIC ALEXANDER & RICH SWANN vs. JACK GALLAGHER & BRIAN KENDRICK (8:00): Boy was this ppv reaching. Two 205Live matches and three women's matches. I usually enjoy the cruiser weight action but this was pedestrian at best. Neville quit the company recently, probably because they gave the title to Enzo. **

ALEXA BLISS vs. MICKIE JAMES (11:25): Bliss is cute but always in so-so matches. So we know what's important in the WWE. Mickie is past her prime but still works hard. This was just okay. *1/2

ENZO AMORE vs. KALISTO (8:45): Enzo won back the cruiser weight title. 205Live is a good idea on paper. Maybe they should just let the wrestlers do their stuff and not let lame story lines interfere. This was another mostly dull match. *1/2

FINN BALOR vs. AJ STYLES (18:20): Good match. The first one on this show and best of the night. Bray Wyatt was supposed to face Balor but Bray had a viral infection (Roman Reigns and Bo Dallas were also off the show because of this...which turned out to be the mumps...which is like chicken pox, right? The adult version? Man, where is Vince Russo? We could've head a Chemical Mask Suit match or Antidote on a Pole match). This was just two great wrestlers wrestling. No story line, gimmicks, or titles. And it worked. The one small problem is that, c'mon, this should've been the main event for the championship. When was the last time the WWE had a great championship main event with two great wrestlers? Brock Lesnar, the RAW champ, barely wrestles, and Smackdown's champ, Jinder Mahal, is more a marketing gimmick than anything. ***

JASON JORDAN vs. ELIAS (8:50): Elias, when he sings a song about how bad the city he's in is, is at least funny. But in the ring he sucks. And Jordan's flailing with the crowds everywhere. Not good. 1/2*

KURT ANGLE & DEAN AMBROSE & SETH ROLLINS vs. KANE, THE MIZ, SHEAMUS, CESARO & BRAUN STROWMAN "TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH" (35:25): Roman Reigns has the mumps. So instead of a Shield reunion we got the return of Kurt Angle. He came out in the crowd dressed with a black vest like a Shield member. Don't even ask me why this was a 5 on 3 match or why Kane and Braun Strowman were even in this because I don't know. The big spot was Dean and Seth jumping off ladders onto Kane and Braun on the two announce tables at ringside. Other than that there weren't any suicidal dives. The crowd did go nuts when Angle did his Olympic Slam and Ankle Lock. They even did a Kurt Angle-gets-hurt-and-leaves-but-returns-with-his-theme-music. The Miz brought out a trash truck by the Titan-Tron. Dean and Seth jumped off of it and then Braun Strowman was thrown into it and trapped. Kane put Strowman through a table by the Titan Tron and then dropped a pile of chairs from the ceiling on him even though they were supposed to be on the same team (Kane hit Strowman with a chair by accident earlier...so I guess that's why they're feuding now). Angle did an Olympic Slam to Cesaro through a table. So it was a long, sloppy cluster fuck. It was fun in spots and boring in spots. **1/2 

NJPW KING OF PRO WRESTLING

Tokyo

BAD LUCK FALE & LEO TONGA & YUJIRO TAKAHASHI vs. BUSHI, HIROMU TAKAHASHI & SANADA (6:44): Hiromu Takahashi is one of New Japan's most exciting wrestlers, so it's sad that he hasn't been in a solo match since June and his mega-push earlier this year has stalled (he will probably end up facing Ospreay at Wrestle Kingdom in January, though). He was, literally, the only one worth watching in this. And he didn't even really do anything! Sanada did a big top rope to the floor flip. And why does Sanada always have that permanent scowl like he wishes he was somewhere else? *1/2

HIROOKI GOTO & TORU YANO vs. MINORU SUZUKI & ZACK SABRE, JR. (9:18): Ugh. When will Yano retire already? He was doing commentary during the main event, so maybe (hopefully) soon. He won the match when Suzuki was counted out thanks to Yano's shenanigans. I kind of feel bad when real wrestlers have a match with him. It's like if Daniel Day Lewis would be forced to be on an episode of The Big Bang Theory. 1/2*

RAPPONGI 3K vs. RICOCHET & RYUSUKE TAGUCHI (14:52): The mystery team, Rappongi Vice 3000, turned out to be two guys I didn't even know, Sho and Yo, former Young Lions who wrestled in CMLL last year and in ROH as The Tempura Boys. They're young and fast and sort of fun to watch. I think a match against The Young Bucks would be suited better for them then this. They won the Jr. tag titles here. And while Ricochet and Taguchi are mildly amusing...it pisses me off that such a superior talent like Ricochet is stuck in a frigging comedy tag team low on the card. He should be the main event star. This had a few good high flying sequences but not much else. **1/2

KILLER ELITE SQUAD vs. WAR MACHINE vs. GUERRILLAS OF DESTINY (16:10): This was an elimination match for the tag titles, which Davey Boy Smith, Jr. and Lance Archer retained. It was kind of odd to see six non-Japanese wrestlers wrestling in Japan for the tag team championship. It was also lame that these three already had two back to back matches in September at the big shows. I guess New Japan has no idea what to do with the tag division...or just doesn't care. At least the Jr. tag division has been awesome the last few years, so there's that. This was at least entertaining. The winners put the fat viking of War Machine through a table to win, although the table more collapsed than broke and it looked stupid. Killer Elite Squad are a big, dumb, early 90's style of tag team. Which means they suck. But, hey, big guys doing big moves is usually at least watchable. **1/2

CODY, KENNY OMEGA & MARTY SCURLL vs. BERETTA, JADO & YOSHI-HASHI (13:42): The Bullet Club were amusing (even doing a 2-foot ring-post head stomp and then a 4-foot ring-post head stomp). So this was more comedy than anything. Beretta as a singles dude is still up in the air. He does some high flying suicide stuff which is good but other than that he seems lost. Omega is facing Yoshi-Hashi next week in Chicago at a ROH show for NJPW's U.S. title so those two fought early on. I suppose they could have a good match because Omega is the best wrestler in the world, but, you know, I'm skeptical. Yoshi-Hashi is pretty forgettable. **1/2

JUICE ROBINSON & KOTA IBUSHI vs. HIROSHI TANAHASHI & TOGI MAKABE (10:26): Tanahashi is facing Ibushi for the IC title next month in the main event of Power Struggle, so I guess he wanted to sell the shit out of it because he actually looked fast and good here. All summer he's looked hurt and slow because of his tendon tear or whatever the hell it was (Japanese people apparently never take vacations). This match was short and sort of

fun while it lasted. Nothing special. **

WILL OSPREAY vs. KUSHIDA (15:32): Good match, albeit probably only half as good as their brutal, epic Best of the Super Jr.'s final. Ospreay is just incredible to watch. He's one of those guy's that you watch no matter who his opponent is. He beat Kushida for the Jr. title here. His ridiculously melodramatic victory shock face was priceless. It's the fucking Jr. title, not a million bucks. ***

TETSYA NAITO vs. TOMOHIRO ISHII (23:56): Great match. Anti climatic...but stellar nonetheless. This was for the contract to be in the main event of Wrestle Kingdom...which the G1 winner already won (Naito). Which makes the entire G1 tournament completely pointless (it basically means the winner gets a semi-main event at King of Pro-Wrestling and perhaps the main event at WK). There were maybe one thousand near falls in this match and both guys landed sickeningly on their heads a dozen times. The final ten minutes or so were a typical NJPW frenzy with drama, brutality, kick-outs, and big moves. It wasn't Naito or Ishii's best match together...but it was by far the match of the show. ***1/2

KAZUCHIKA OKADA vs. EVIL (33:26): Evil is boring. And Okada tried his best but this turned out to just okay. Evil, since he's, well, evil, used a chair a few times outside the ring. Yawn. The final few minutes were good with reversals and near falls but, let's face it, Evil wasn't fucking winning the title. That kind of made this match ridiculously pointless. The end was good but it went way too long. And this sets up Naito vs. Okada for the title at WK, which I'm not too happy about. I wanted to see Omega/Okada 4. Naito and Okada for whatever reason have not had the greatest matches against each other. I'm much more looking forward to Omega vs. Ibushi at WK. And what does that say about the champ? **

WWE HELL IN A CELL

from Detroit

CHAD GABLE & SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. THE HYPE BROS (10:20): Shelton Benjamin is back. That's crazy. He hasn't been in the WWE in years. I vaguely recall him wrestling in Japan last year...but he certainly became somewhat forgotten after he left WWE. They threw him together with Gable since Gable's former tag team partner got the new, lame story line of being Kurt Angle's long lost son. This was a typical pre-show match that started at 7:30 PM. The show ended at 11:30 PM. Are they trying to be more like New Japan or something? I miss the days of these Smackdown ppv's being 2 and 1/2 hours long. * (out of ****)

THE USO'S vs. THE NEW DAY "HELL IN A CELL" (22:00): These teams had exceptional matches the last two times they wrestled on ppv. Unfortunately, this one wasn't as good. Blame the weapons. Their other matches were fast paced and exciting because of wrestling moves and action and near falls. This was more brutal and slow. They kept diving through the ropes into the cage wall and they used Singapore canes and handcuffs. The Uso's won the titles here when they did a double top rope splash onto Xavier and a chair. **1/2

RANDY ORTON vs. RUSEV (11:40): Kind of meandering. They really need to give these two some meaty story lines or something. The crowd loved Orton, though. So perhaps I'm just wrong. He won with, yep, an RKO outta nowhere. *

BARON CORBIN vs. AJ STYLES vs. TYE DILLINGER (19:20): This was the match of the night. And it may have been better if Corbin wasn't in it. On the pre-show, Daniel Bryan added Dillinger to this to make it a triple threat. Good move, as AJ and Dillinger work well together. And while AJ is the WWE's best wrestler by far, I doubt even he could have gotten a good solo match out of Corbin. Corbin won the U.S. title here. Yawn. ***

CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. NATALYA (12:15): Natalya used a chair and got DQ'd. Charlotte is a good girl now and boring, although she did a cool top rope moonsault to the floor. *1/2

JINDER MAHAL vs. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (12:10): It probably tells you something about Jinder, the champ, when his title match isn't the main event and only goes twelve minutes. He's fucking awful, that's what it tells you. But WWE is doing a tour in India in December and they want to start making money and fans in India because it has over a billion people...so we're stuck with Jinder as champ for awhile. The end wasn't bad. There was interference with Mahal's boys and a close, near victory by Nakamura but Jinder put his foot on the ropes. Other than the entertaining last minute, this was a bust. *1/2

BOBBY ROODE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (11:35): The WWE writers have apparently given up Dolph. He came to the ring with a black Titantron screen entrance. Roode has a nice entrance song but is a complete bore. This was forgettable. 1/2*

KEVIN OWENS vs. SHANE McMAHON "HELL IN A CELL" (39:00): The last five minutes were great. The previous 34...not so good. Shane delivered his ridiculously fake punches throughout. Shane did a ring long Van Terminator with a trash can to Owens. Owens did a running flip off the apron through a table at ringside. Eventually they got on top of the cell and delivered fake punches and a power bomb and a few other lame moves for what seemed like forever. Finally, Owens started to climb down but Shane climbed down and kicked him and Owens fell halfway off the cell through the announce table. Then Shane put Owens on another announce table and climbed back up and jumped off to deliver an elbow. But...wait! Sami Zayn pulled Owens off the table and Shane crashed down alone. So that was awesome. Shane jumping off the top of the cell has been done before but it was still cool to see. And Zayn, Owen's nemesis, helping him to get the pin at the end was at least something new and a good way to end the show. Zayn is a great wrestler so it's nice to see them give him something to do for once. Most of this match was a train wreck, however. Shane should have just jumped off the cell right away as that's all we wanted to see. And the jump was great but it's been done before. And while most of this was a mess, at least the terrific final minutes were worth it. **1/2