WWE HELL IN A CELL

Sunday, October 27th, 2013
Orlando

I miss Halloween Havoc. But, alas, most of 'em probably sucked. Like how that "great" party you went to when you were 16 was epic and the girl you kissed was hot...but memory is a funny thing and go back in a time machine and the party was basic and the girl was just okay. All Hell in a Cell matches are fused and promoted by past memories, faded glories, and they'll never be the same, as great, as epic. So why even have them anymore?

GOLDDUST & CODY RHODES vs. THE USSO'S vs. SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS: They did a cool maneuver where Rhodes suplexed Rollins off the top rope and onto all of the guys on the floor. Sick. Not a bad opener. ** (out of ****)

FANDANGO & SUMMER RAE vs. KHALI & NATALYA: Really?

DEAN AMBROSE vs. BIG E LANGSTON: What a feud! I skipped this and the previous match.

CM PUNK vs. RYBACK & PAUL HEYMAN "HELL IN A CELL": Punk won after elbow dropping Ryback and a table from the top rope. Heyman got up on top of the cell thanks to a crane lift...so Punk then climbed up, hit him with a cane then delivered the GTS. Why was Heyman up there? At least Punk goes to the top. *1/2

LOS MATADORES vs. SWAGGER & CESARO: Didn't watch.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. JOHN CENA: Well Cena gets injured, returns here and wins the title. Cena and Del Rio bore me. 1/2*

AJ LEE vs. BRIE BELLA: Didn't watch.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. RANDY ORTON "HELL IN A CELL": Shawn Michaels was the ref...so of course he super kicks Bryan and Orton wins. I give up. *

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY

Sunday, October 20th, 2013
From San Diego




KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. HERNANDEZ & CHAVO GUERRERO/ CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN vs. ERIC YOUNG & JOSEPH PARK/ JESSE GODDERZ & ROBBIE E vs. ERIC YOUNG & JOSEPH PARK: So this was a gauntlet match on the pre-show. It was mediocre. The problem was that Daniels and Kazarian, two of TNA's best, were relegated to the pre-show (they did show up during the ppv only to be destroyed by Abyss). ** (out of ****)

MANIK vs. SOMOA JOE vs. JEFF HARDY vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. AUSTIN ARIES "ULTIMATE X": Super disappointing. They used a ladder but no big spots for anyone. Sabin pushed his girl, Velvet Sky, into the ring to distract Hardy while Sabin snagged the title. Really a waste since Aries, Joe, and Hardy didn't have singles matches on the company's biggest show. *1/2

JAMES STORM & GUNNER vs. JESSE GODDERZ & ROBBIE E: The Jersey Shore guys won the tag titles here even though the Jersey Shore TV show hasn't been on for a few years. Does TNA realize this? I guess they'll be putting together a Breaking Bad style tag team in a few years. I'll be honest; I didn't watch this.

ODB vs. GAIL KIM vs. BROOKE: Kind of sad that this might have been the match of the night. And it wasn't that good. Some thick black chick named L'ed Tapa showed up at the end and power-bombed Brooke and kicked ODB and this led to Kim winning. **1/2

BOBBY ROODE vs.
KURT ANGLE: Before this, Angle told the crowd he was turning down his Hall of Fame initiation because he didn't deserve it...yet. Then this slow, semi-okay match happened. We got an Angle moonsault. And typical boring Roode. *1/2

EC3 vs. NORV FERNUM: EC3 is some new fish that, story-line wise, is Dixie Carter's nephew. So he beat up his hand-picked, 100 pound weakling nobody. Yeah. -No Stars-

MAGNUS vs. STING: I admit: the first and last match on this card were good on paper. This match? Not. Who came up with this? Bound For Glory is supposed to be TNA's Wrestlemania. Jesus. Magnus won. I didn't watch.

AJ STYLES vs. BULLY RAY: So this was just okay...but we did get a really sick springboard 450 that AJ did off the top rope and through a ringside table. Bully moved and AJ landed hard and I thought he was either a) dead or b) paralyzed. He continued. Knucks showed up and Garrett Bischoff brought a hammer, Dixie threatened Hebner not to let AJ win (apparently there's a Dixie/AJ storyline that is so preposterous I haven't bothered to pay attention to it), and Bully exposed the wooden ring mat floor. AJ won. He went into the crowd and they put him on their shoulders. Cool ending. But TNA is dismal these days. **1/2

WWE BATTLEGROUND

Sunday, October 7th, 2013
Pittsburgh, PA

 
DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. DAMIAN SANDOW: This was on the pre-show.
And to think...Ziggler was the champ in the Spring. I guess it doesn't say much
either about Sandow, the MITB winner. Ziggler was high energy in a pointless
match. *1/2 (out of ****) 

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. RVD: Good opener. This was a "hardcore" match...but
it probably should've just been a ladder match as that's pretty much the only weapon
they used. RVD did a frog splash off of the apron onto a ladder draped on Del Rio.
RVD also did a split-legged moon sault off the ropes onto a ladder on Del Rio. RVD
is so old, right? But compared to broken guys like Sabu he's still very exciting. Nice
to see a watchable Del Rio match. It's been like forever. ***

                                                                                                                                                       





THE GREAT KHALI & SANTINO MARELLA vs. ANTONIO CESARO & JACK SWAGGER:
This was announced the day of because after writing the show they came up short on time. I suppose not everyone can be awesome and a star...every show needs it's B-side, filler stuff. Not that I watched this.

CURTIS AXEL vs. R-TRUTH: I didn't watch this.

AJ LEE vs. BRIE BELLA: Nor this.

SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS vs. GOLDDUST & CODY RHODES: This has to be the first "big" match that Cody has ever been in, right? And the crowd loves him now...for no real reason.
If the Rhodes' won then they got their jobs back. They won. Good match, but, realistically, this should've been a RAW main event. **1/2

BRAY WYATT vs. KOFI KINGSTON: I like the Wyatt's entrance...but that's it. Perhaps they should enter, walk right past the ring and leave. I mean, nobody wants to see them wrestle anyway. I didn't watch this match. We're seeing a trend.

CM PUNK vs. RYBACK: Not good. Very boring. Punk won after low-blowing Ryback. I'm sick of this Heyman/Punk feud. *

DANIEL BRYAN vs. RANDY ORTON: So Bryan wins the title at Summerslam...then Orton cashes in his MITB contract and HHH turns heel and Bryan loses. Last month at NOC, Bryan wins the title but is stripped the next night on RAW when HHH says the ref counted too fast to 3. So in this match, NOBODY WINS. Nobody loses, either. Bryan has Orton in the Yes Lock when The Big Show comes down, knocks out the ref. The Big Show then KO's Bryan and Orton and the ppv goes off the air.
WTF? Yes, a $55 ppv with NO ENDING. Who's the genius that came up with that? This was, perhaps, the worst ending to a ppv ever. And the match up until the horrendous ending wasn't even that good. *1/2