WWE EXTREME RULES

From Rosemont, Illinois

KANE vs. RANDY ORTON "FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE": This was, shockingly, the best match Kane has been in for years. And it wasn't even that good! They brawled all over the building...so I guess the secret to having a good Kane match is to not let him actually wrestle. **1/2 (out of ****)  

BRODUS CLAY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER: Short. Mediocre. 1/2*

BIG SHOW vs. CODY RHODES "TABLES MATCH": The Big Show was kicked by Cody Rhodes and fell off the apron and stepped through a table, thus he lost the IC Title. Groan. Then he put Cody through two tables and the last time it was a patented Mike Awesome-over-the-top-rope toss. Nice. *1/2  

SHEAMUS vs. DANIEL BRYAN "2 OUT OF 3 FALLS": Great match. I guess now it makes the WWE look bad for only giving their best wrestler 18 seconds at 'Mania. The first fall was a DQ because Bryan was kicking Sheamus too much. The second fall was because Sheamus passed out. The last fall had a Brogue Kick and Bryan lost. It was long but one of the year's best. ***1/2

AARON RELIC & JAY HATTON vs. RYBACK: Yawn. The crowd chanted, "Goldberg!" because Ryback is...oh, who cares? -No Stars-

 CHRIS JERICHO vs. CM PUNK "CHICAGO STREET FIGHT": A little awkward and slow early but it picked up at the end with a ton of gimmicks. Punk used a fire extinguisher and lept off the top rope and onto Jericho and the Spanish announce table. Punk's sister was ringside and slapped Jericho. Chairs and canes were used. These two just don't mesh well but it had enough craziness to work. & my god the crowd was awesome tonight. ***

NICKI BELLA vs. LAYLA: Boring filler. When's Kharma coming back? -No Stars-

BROCK LESNAR vs. JOHN CENA "EXTREME RULES MATCH": Wow...a good main event. & they cheered Cena. & he pinned Lesnar...then said he was taking a vacation. First off, Brock looked like he really hurt Cena. Both guys bled and both were practically falling all over each other and out of the ring at one point or another. Cena gave the FU to Brock onto the steel ring steps in the ring and won. Two refs were knocked out and a medic tended to Cena's head wound during the match. A total cluster fuck and dull early but it was insanely watchable. This was a really good show. ***

TNA LOCKDOWN

From Nashville

GARETT BISCHOFF & RVD & MR. ANDERSON & A.J. STYLES & AUSTIN ARIES vs. ERIC BISCHOFF & GUNNER & KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & BULLY RAY "LETHAL LOCKDOWN": At least the crowd, which Wrestling Observer writer Bryan Alvarez dubbed "the morgue," got into the countdown to each wrestler during this match (every three minutes a new guy came in). This match didn't go anywhere, though, and the tables and ladders atop the cage weren't even used. It was a lot better than most of this show, though, and watching Eric beat up his son with a kendo stick was humorous in a bad, Vince Russo way. **1/2

SAMOA JOE & MAGNUS vs. THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS: Missed most of this. The beginning was so so.

GAIL KIM vs. VELVET SKY: Missed most of this. Gail Kim is just not exciting without Kong.

HOGAN & FLAIR: Perhaps the second best moment of the night. Flair did his usual schtick; telling the crowd to shut up, asked a fan how his wife can do it with him because he's so fat, told a girl to ride Space Mountain, and then falling on his face for no reason. Hogan came out and punched him. So I guess it's Flair vs. Hogan this year? Wheel chair match? Social Security check on a pole match?

CRIMSON vs. MATT MORGAN: Wow. This was so boring! Even the ending was boring. Crimson, still undefeated, climbed out of the cage to win. -No Stars-

KURT ANGLE vs. JEFF HARDY: A great match. Angle put Hardy on his shoulders and delivered a top rope Olympic slam. Hardy did two Swanton Bombs off the top rope and then did one off the top of the cage. Say goodbye to your ribs, Angle. Sensational. & the morgue woke up for that spot. ***

ERIC YOUNG & ODB vs. ROSITA & SARITA: I wasn't really paying attention to this...but Tazz' commentary was slightly funny.

JAMES STORM vs. BOBBY ROODE: Mediocre. The best part? Storm's hot wife at ringside. It kind of turned into a glass cage match at the end when Roode broke a bottle over Storm's head. I'm reaching. Storm bled...and lost. Storm super kicked Roode and Roode fell out of the cage and thus won. Storm was drunk...so I guess him being an idiot is logical. It was as good as it probably could have been. **

WRESTLEMANIA XXVIII

From Sun Life Stadium in Miami

DANIEL BRYAN vs. SHEAMUS: Dave Meltzer wrote this early Sunday: "Daniel Bryan's first real WrestleMania match, so he hopefully gets the time to have a great one." He got 18 seconds. Yep. I didn't even see this, as I started watching at around 7:11 PM. First off, Daniel Bryan is one of the WWE's best in-ring wrestlers. That he was pushed at all and given the title was probably enough of a surprise...but for them to not even let him showcase his skills on the big stage is a travesty. Either one of them was legit hurt or the WWE wanted an early surprise...who knows? This just put a sour taste in every wrestling fans mouth. The worst decision ever.

KANE vs. RANDY ORTON: Ugh. Orton is the WWE's second biggest star, right? So why is he losing to Kane? This was dull. 1/2* (out of ****)

CODY RHODES vs. THE BIG SHOW: Very boring. Although Rhodes is at least good on the mic. It's something. 1/2*

BETH PHOENIX & EVE TORRES vs. MARIA MENOUNOS & KELLY KELLY: Menounos is an announcer for Extra, some entertainment show. And apparently she wrestled with two broken ribs. Hardcore! It was mediocre. *

THE UNDERTAKER vs. HHH "HELL IN A CELL": For about ten of the 30+ minutes this was the greatest match of all time...but the finish sucked and the Cell wasn't really used and HBK Super Kicking 'Taker mid-match made no sense. I did like this more than last year's...but they did fall into the usual schtick of just letting them kick out of each other's finishers and thinking that we'd actually believe HHH had a chance of winning. The ending was bad because the last few minutes had all the drama sucked out of it. HHH was dead, lifeless, and 'Taker pinned him. The back and forth was what was exciting...why not have a pin amidst that? Still...it was a good match and the best of the night. ***

TEAM JOHNNY (MARK HENRY & THE MIZ & JACK SWAGGER & ZACK RYDER & DREW MCINTYRE & DAVID OTUNGA) vs. TEAM TEDDY (ZACK RYDER & GREAT KHALI & SANTINO MARELLA & KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH & BOOKER T.): The ending was good when Zack Ryder was on fire. His psuedo-girlfriend turned on him and Team Teddy lost and The Miz got the pin. This means that Lauranitis gets to be the GM of Smackdown and RAW. Teddy? Send TNA your resume. **

CM PUNK vs. CHRIS JERICHO: I was looking forward to this...but it was slow, awkward, and didn't get exciting and fast until the end. The crowd was also dead for most of it. Punk just has not been in a great match in forever. Maybe he isn't the best wrestler in the world? Jericho tapped out to the Anaconda Vice after a back-and-forth of submission holds. **

THE ROCK vs. JOHN CENA: A good match with a stellar finish. Nice. The crowd was of course the highlight. Every finishing move delivered made the fans reach an orgiastic frenzy. & it's Wrestlemania...so they both kicked out of everything until Cena attempted The People's Elbow but The Rock lept up and gave him The Rock Bottom and won. This not only made Cena the loser but made him look like a jackass. I thought they didn't want to do that? A great finish. ***