Philadelphia, PA
The big news of the week isn’t really what went down at the ppv, but what went down on Raw is War on TNN. Yep, Raw’s first show on The National Network (they changed the name…that’ll be a quiz question somewhere down the road…what was TNN first called?).
I was there. I was at Raw is War’s premiere on TNN. And yes, it was a big show. A ladder match? A first blood match? A double people’s elbow from HHH and Rocky?
You bet. It’s funny. Last year around this time me and Stu went to Vince Russo’s first Nitro. It was better than average, but compared to Raw on TNN, that show fucking sucked. It was great to finally see the WWF in person. I had been to two house shows way back when (I remember Yokozuna fought someone and the one show featured a main event cage match between Owen and Bret Hart), but never in the current, ‘cool’ era.
The WWF is downright great live, especially this show. Everyone cheered for ‘Stone Cold’ and The Rock. The ladder match got big pops. The entrance explosions rock the building. Kane’s explosive entrance is mind numbingly cool.
It was a great night of wrasslin’, and I can always say that I saw The Hardy Boyz successfully defend their belts against Edge and Christian in a ladder match. That’s right. The ticket cost me $22, and it was all worth it to see Edge spear Matt Hardy in mid-air as he hung onto the belts.
Wow.
But wait a minute…there was a ppv the night previous. So what happened? Did Rock successfully defend the title? Well… And you already know E&C lost the tag belts. What about Raven?
I’ll get to my man soon enough. Here’s an in-depth look at Unforgiven, which would have probably gotten a lower rating had I watched it alone. Instead, I watched it in the confines of a rowdy, beer soaked Champs crowd.
Correct predictions are +ed, and yada yada yada.
RIGHT TO CENSOR vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ & THE ACOLYTES: I expected this match to be a twenty minute brawl for all with tables, blood, chairs, and bodies falling all over the place. I was wrong. It kicked off the evening, but it didn’t last long at all. Stevie Richards won with his missed Stevie Kick, but then Buh Buh put him through a table after the loss. I expected a lot from this match, because I enjoy The Dudleys and Stevie, but The Acolytes suck, and it was too short. Right to Censor has already moved on to battle with Chyna and Eddie G., so I guess this eight man feud is over…for now. **
+TAZZ vs. JERRY ‘THE KING’ LAWLER: This was a ‘strap’ match, but the actual match totally sucked. But there was something cool that did happen. Yep, as stated higher up, Raven showed up, DDT’d Lawler, leading to Tazz getting the pin. On Raw Raven DDT’d both Lawler and Buh Buh Ray Dudley. So…for No Mercy (the WWF’s next ppv) we’ll hopefully see an all ECW tag match pitting Tazz & Raven vs. The Dudley Boyz. Wow. I can’t fucking wait. **
+STEVE BLACKMAN vs. CRASH vs. SATURN vs. AL SNOW vs. TEST vs. FUNAKI:
This was another God awful Hardcore Invitational thingamajig where there’s a ten minute time limit and of course the belt keeps changing hands. Blackman ended up winning. Real lame stuff. *
+CHRIS JERICHO vs. X-PAC: If you can believe it, these two actually faced each other last year…at the same fucking ppv, Unforgiven. Last year though Jericho was set to face Shamrock but Ken left so Y2J and X were stuck with eachother. On another note, I gave their match last year a mere ½ of a *. Which is bad, though, granted, not as bad as the Scott Steiner vs. Tank Abbot match from Bash at the Beach which garnered minus one star. Anyway, seriously, all that I do remember is that these two faced eachother in a 2 minute First Blood match on Raw where X-Pac won but Jericho gave him the lion tamer on the announce desk (another thing, on Raw there was no Spanish announce table! No way!). Since Jericho won, this match was pretty hot, especially his wild lionsault. I love that move. **
+THE HARDY BOYZ vs. EDGE & CHRISTIAN: Finally…The Rock…sorry. I mean finally The Hardy Boyz have won back the titles. They deserved it last month at the T.L.C. match, but I’ll take this win. The ladder match on Raw between these two teams was actually more exciting, but I enjoyed the cage match nonetheless. The biggest high spot happened when Jeff Hardy (i.e. the crazy one) doing a wild spin-flip from the top of the cage and landing between both Christian and Jeff (I think they were supposed to catch him, but everyone fell over and it still worked). The other big move (beside Jeff toppling from the top of the cage to the mat floor at least three times) was Lita doing a hurricanrana (when Sandman does it it’s known as a Heinekenrana) on Edge from the top of a ladder outside the cage. Both landed hard. This was a wild match, not as good as any of the others these teams have been in this year, but it was great to see The Hardy’s snag the titles. It’s been at least a year since they’ve had the gold. ***
+EDDIE GUERRERO vs. RIKISHI: On Raw, Chyna came out with two big cut outs of her Playboy cover (yes, as if you need a reason to throw up, she’s in Playboy, though I think it’s only topless not…okay I won’t go there) and had this big, long B.S. speech about how she worked hard and you don’t have to be ultra thin to be in Playboy. Okay, manwoman, you are in Playboy because Hugh Hefner and his cronies know the same guys who like wrestling like porn, so they’ll put anyone in the WWF in Playboy, and this manwoman was the only beast that said yes. Where’s Lita? Trish? Lilian Garcia even? Anyway, there was a match going on, and the only reason this mid-card match was placed this high in the card was to not make the other matches seem so lame after the high spots during the cage mele. ½*
HHH vs. KURT ANGLE: This ‘Love Triangle’ is still going on (and currently stemming out of it is HHH’s baby face turn), and while the triple threat Summerslam match really benefited from the storyline, this match royally sucked. HHH is usually only entertaining against much more exciting wrestlers, like Cactus Jack or The Rock. This match just didn’t work, at all. The one good aspect was Angle’s wrestleplex style move where he tossed HHH over his head and through the…guess…the Spanish announce table. It wasn’t boring, just not as exciting as it should have been. **
THE ‘STONE COLD’ STEVE AUSTIN SEGMENTS: The best aspect of Unforgiven was not the cage match or the debut of Raven, even though both of those moments were terrific. The best parts were every segment featuring ‘Stone Cold’. He showed up in a truck and pushed announcer Kevin Kelly onto the ground, he met face to face with The Rock, and he told Kurt Angle to shove his honary gold medal up his ass. But the best part was the segment where Austin hit the ring. It would be the first time Austin would be in a WWF ring since way back in April at Backlash, where he looked uncoordinative and fat. The big storyline in the WWF is ‘Who Hit Stone Cold?’. See, last year at Survivor Series, Austin got hit by a car and he came back to find out who did it. Well, during this segment, Shane O’Mac came to ring ready to show his alleged proof of who hit ‘Stone Cold’. His proof? A silly segment from a year ago where Steve Blackman backed his car into Ken Shamrock (don’t ask). Of cousre Blackman came out to demand retribution, but then the glass broke (Austin’s music), and his new heavy metal theme filled the arena. Austin was back. Shane then pretended like his proof was accurate, so he began to celebrate with Austin and drink some beers. Then of course Austin turned and gave Shane three stunners, and Blackman one or two, I forget. Then he left. Every Austin segment was hilarous (except for his quote, “There are three things that are permanent. Death, taxes, and you don’t trust anywhere around here.” Whatever) and it really helped lift this average ppv and made you glad you checked it out. All of his segments combined: ***1/2
THE ROCK vs. CHRIS BENOIT vs. KANE vs. THE UNDERTAKER: Chris Benoit pinned The Undertaker to win the belt, but of course ‘Taker’s foot was on the rope, so the decision was reversed. This happened to Benoit at Fully Loaded, too, but then the big deal was that it was a fast count or interference or something. It must not have been that great because I forget. Anyway, I picked Kane, and I really though ‘Taker might take it, but Rock wins, which was smart because he showed up for TNN as the champ. This match wasn’t as exciting as it could have been. Benoit sucks, Kane and ‘Taker were kind of boring. Benoit winning was really lame and I don’t see any point to have done it except to have the rematch on Raw (which Rock won clean). Hopefully No Mercy will be a tad better, especially if Austin reinforces the rumors and actually wrestles. **
And so it goes. The WWF is pretty hot right now, what with Austin and Raven in the mix, but unfortunately my cable company (which the University runs) doesn’t offer TNN or UPN. So I can only watch MTV’s Sunday Night Heat. Wow. So I guess I won’t be following the old WWF as usual, but I’ll still keep up with everything and I’ll definitely catch No Mercy.
Unforgiven received only ** but a healthy 18 rating. I liked the Austin stuff, Raven’s debut, and the cage match, but not much else. Raw on TNN was better, albeit on TV it may have been worse. I don’t know.
I guessed a decent 62.5% of the matches correctly, which isn’t bad. I was surprised Right to Censor won, and Triple H beating Angle again was pointless.
Anyway, Nitro was interesting to say the least. Vince Russo beat Booker T. for the title (yes, another Russo title change…though is it as bad as Arquette as champ? That is the question) in a hell in the cell, er…I mean a caged heat match. Goldberg speered Russo through the cage wall. Also, a few guy’s from Stern’s radio program showed up to judge a swimsuit contest. Hank was there, and Beetlejuice got knocked out thanks to JJ and a guitar.
On Thunder (supposedly, since I don’t get TBS either) Russo says he doesn’t want the title and will give it up on Nitro. Russo: Please don’t give it to Nash. Give it to Steiner. Or even start another tournament. Just don’t give it to Nash.
Well, next Sunday is ECW’s annual Anarchy Rulz ppv, which is headlined by Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible for the belt. Also Rhino faces Rob Van Dam, Corino vs. C.W. Anderson, The F.B.I. vs. Whipwreck & Tajiri, and last but definitely not least, Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus. I haven’t seen ECW since Labor Day, but seriously, where the hell is Sandman? And Psicosis? And Super Crazy? New Jack is back, and he’s reffing one of the matches. I think it’s the main event. I’m sure Sandman’ll be there. I really hope ECW gets on USA. I miss those crazy fucks.
WWF puts on No Mercy October 22nd, which is a huge weekend. Tyson faces Golota on Friday and the Fightin’ Illini take on Penn St. up here in the Valley of Happiness. I’m not sure who will fight at No Mercy, but who the hell is left to fight The Rock? I hope it’s Undertaker or Kane solo against the Rock. Who will Austin face? I have no idea, but I hope he does wrestle. The other big match should be Dudleys vs. Raven & Tazz, but it’s kind of early right now…
Which brings us to Halloween Havoc, which is even further away, not hitting us until the 29th. The promos say that Sting will bring a new image to WCW. Wow. I can’t wait. How much is it again?
Just fuckin’ around. Hopefully it’ll have Steiner vs. Booker T., Goldberg vs. Nash, and Terry Funk vs. Mike Awesome. Those are distant dreams though, and by the time ‘Havoc does roll around, Russo will have lost the title to Booker T., who will have lost to Nash, who will have lost to Steiner, so who will lost it to David Arquette.
Okay, you get the point.
Anyway, I’ll do a review of Anarcy Rulz on my Fall Break, which is the 6th through 9th of October. So until then.
